Fifty Shades Of A Different Colour
by DcOliver FanFiction
Summary: When Christian & Anastasia meet, the connection is instant and strong, they are drawn together with a passion that neither of them understand, but will Ana's fear and Christian's past get in the way of them both finding true love? May be a little family intervention is needed, To bring the two destined hearts together... MA-RATED. This story is a happy place if you need one.xx
1. 1 Mia Invades

A/N HELLO AGAIN ;)

I JUST COULDN'T STOP MYSELF AND JUST HAD TO POST ANOTHER STORY.

THIS IS A 'WHAT IF' THERE IS NO INTERVIEW, NO GRADUATION, NO TIME LINE REGARDING THE BOOKS, CHRISTIAN AND ANASTASIA HAVE NEVER MET...UNTILL NOW...

ONCE AGAIN THESE CHARACTERS BELONG TO EL JAMES I'M JUST PLAYING AROUND.

AS ALWAYS I WILL BE SWAPPING POVS SO LOOK OUT FOR THE XXXXXXXXXXXXX'S

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx C

"Oh Christian, this place is amazing but God it's so dull," Mia sighs dramatically, stomping around my apartment waving her arms about to enforce her point. My mother, who is sitting on the sofa, just looks on with an indulgent smile on her lips, shaking her head slowly. Mia skips over to the vast glass windows, pushing her face up close to the glass like a child, "If it wasn't for this wonderful view, this place would have no real appeal at all... Well apart from its size of course... This place is huge, but God it could do with brightening up, it's so... Sterile... Clinical and I don't want to say it again... But so DULL... White is such a boar...ring colour, if you can call it a colour" her voice grumbles, as she raise's her eye's skyward.

Holding my tongue and temper, I walk over to the fridge and take out a bottle of wine. I pour myself a glass, and drain it in one. I love my family but I so hate these drop in visits. I've only been home ten minutes, I have a mountain of work to get through before the weekend and I don't really have the time for all of this.

"Of course White is a colour Mia" I snap back, as I run my hand through my hair, trying to hide my ever growing frustration. I love my sister dearly but she can be so overbearing it's annoying. "White is at the opposite end of the spectrum to black, it's a very popular colour, and suits me, so enough Mia, I... " she cuts me off, with a screech, suddenly running towards me,

"Plleeease...Christian, let me liven this place up for you, just a few colourful feature walls, nothing major, just..." I try to curb her enthusiastic rant, as she looks up at me with the sad pleading face, that I have never been able to refuse, ever since she was small, but no... Not this time,

"I'm happy with Escala the way it is Mia, it has enough colour for me" a small smile hits my lips, as I think of my colourful room upstairs. "Mom, can't you take her home already?" I look at my mother for help, but she just laughs softly,

"Oh Christian be nice, you know she's harmless, and if you took time out to visit us more often, we wouldn't have to pop by unannounced to see if your okay" a sad look cross's her face. I know I don't give enough time to my family, I know it breaks her heart that I'm so closed off, but it's so draining trying to pretend to be somebody I'm not... If she knew the real me she wouldn't... I don't even want to think about it.

"Of course I'm okay mother... Why wouldn't I be? You know I'm very busy at the minute with..." once again Mia's shrill voice interrupts me,

"Yes... Yes there is always something... But is it really SO IMPORTANT, that you can't spare time for your family? We have not seen you in weeks Christian... You are always so busy... You're getting so old before your time... You so need to loosen up a bit, your whole life can't be just business, business, business" she rolls her eyes at me which gets my back up, but I rein in my temper. This is Mia after all, and irritation is her middle name, and no... My life isn't all business, but they can never find out about my other life...

"It's important to me Mia, I have a lot of commitments and import..." my voice defends but I feel my deep frown, as she waves her hand at me dismissively,

"Yes... Yes... What ever... No man, has ever been truly happy being married to his office. So live a little Christian, please... I have a friend who.." she looks up at me with hope filled eyes, I curse internally, Oh No... Not this again. My voice is harsher than I'd like but I have to stop this. Pushing her gently away, I take a step back, trying hard to hide my irritation,

"Don't even go there Mia please, we have been through this before... Your friends are of no interest to me" I glance at my mother pleading for help, "Mother stop her, please" she looks amused and can't hide her giggle, as she try's to rein in her daughter,

"Mia please... You know your brother well enough, to know that this is one subject you can't move him on... so enough" she looks at me eagerly, "So Christian, what are you doing next week for your birthday?" I know she is trying to distract Mia with a conversation change but this is not a good subject either. My family always want to make a big thing out of my birthday's, especially Mia, but I can't be bothered with it, who has the time for frivolity, and pretense...

"I will probably be out of town I have..." I see a look of sadness sweep over my Mom's face, before she fully composes herself. My demeanor softens, and my chest feels heavy suddenly,

"Oh Christian, we have to get together, at least for dinner, please darling" her soft voice pleads, the hurt in her voice breaks me, how can I refuse her?. I nod my head slowly, resigning myself to a family get together. Her face brightens instantly, I return her smile as best I can,

"Maybe before I leave... We can all have dinner" I mumbIe, looking towards Mia with a look on my face, that tells her that is all I will be willing to do, before she starts to plan anything on a larger scale, "I will check my schedule with Andrea, and let you know when I'm free" I state,

"That's wonderful darling, it would be lovely to have everyone at home, even for just one night... Now, we have taken up enough of your time, so we will leave you to it, come on Mia time to go" mom stands, picks up her purse from the sofa, an shuffle's Mia toward the elevator. Turning to face me, she leans in to kiss my cheek, I lower my head to receive it and sigh heavily. As my Mom steps away, Mia wraps her arms around my waist and hugs me tightly, I feel myself stiffen slightly then relax, as she looks up at me with love filled eyes,

"Oh Christian, we love you, and worry about you, we just want to see you happy, and live a little that's all" she hugs me tightly before stepping away, I answer quietly not really believing my own words,

"I'm happy Mia... You don't have to worry about me" I don't think I convince her though, as she pulls her brows upwards,

"Yeah right, who are you trying to kid? You don't make time to be happy... But a splash of colour in this place would help..." she smiles up at me, as her eye light up. God she never gives up...

"No colour Mia, it's fine the way it is" I run my hand through my hair, an action my mother doesn't miss. She pulls Mia into the elevator and they both say goodbye, leaving me standing in the hallway feeling totally drained.

I head back into the kitchen, grab the bottle of wine I opened earlier, along with my glass and head for my office. Switching on my computer, I start to deal with my emails. I find I can't concentrate, my sister's words are running round and round in my head... My family loves me, they tell me often but I just can't feel it... I won't let myself feel it, I don't know how to, if I did, maybe I could be happy...

But I'm not unhappy... I'm successful, powerful, rich beyond my wildest dreams... But at what cost?... My family is kept at a distance, I have no real close friends, no one to share everything with... But why would I want to, why would I think, for a single second that I deserve that... I'm not the person they think I am, the person they want me to be... Nobody really knows, the true me... The fucked up me, that has to hurt to feel, that has to punish, just to maintain control and feel some sort of self worth.

They would've had a glimpse of the real me, if they had turned up announced tomorrow night, that's when my true self comes out to play. When my submissive is naked, tied and punished by my hand, begging and obeying only me. A shudder runs through me at the thought of them ever finding out.

It's Susannah's last weekend with me this weekend, her three month contract is up, and I have no intention of extending it. I can see the tell tale sign's of the line's beginning to blur, she has started to feel for me, has hinted she wants more from me... God only know's why. I have shown her nothing but my Dominant nature, the true me. I've been very stern with her, she doesn't have many limits, her tolerance for pain is welcomed by someone like me, and I have definitely pushed her limits. As I will this weekend, for one final time.

It's a shame her contract is over, she is a wonderful sub, everything I could want and need, but it's happened again... So it has to end... I sigh contentedly, as images of my planned final scene's with her flash through my mind. Closing my eyes I lean back in my chair, reveling in my images. A smile plays on my lips... Yes, I will definitely relieve all of my stress, from this hectic week, on her beautiful complient body. I will... I'm pulled out of my daydream by a sharp rap on my office door, "Come in" I shout, before sitting back up straight in my chair, Taylor enters my office.

"Sir, has Miss..." I smile nodding my head. Taylor also finds it hard dealing with Mia, he is another one who can't refuse her ridiculous requests. I see him physically relax in the knowledge that she has left the apartment,

"Yes Taylor, Mia has left" he nod's gratefully,

"Shall I get Gail to prepare you something to eat sir?" he asks,

"Yes Taylor, just something quick, a sandwich or something is fine. Is Gail all packed and ready for leaving tomorrow?" Taylor nod's, as I continue, "I have to attend dinner at my parents house next week for my birthday" I roll my eyes "I will clear Monday evening, and we will head straight to the airport after dinner, so prepare everything we need. I hope Mrs Jones is not too put out by having to spend a whole week with her sister, instead of just the usual weekend?" to my surprise Taylor's face splits into a wide grin, I raise my eyebrows curiously to his reaction,

"Not at all Sir, her niece has just had a baby and is also visiting, so Gail is really looking forward to her extended visit, she told me to thank you, for the extra time off" I cut him off with a wave of my hand,

"No Thanks needed Taylor, there is no need for her to be here, while we are both away, she might as well spend the time with her family" a thought occurs, my family's visit has obviously touched me more than I had realized, "Do you wish to stay too? Spend some time with her and... Family's are important, if you want..." my voice trails off, as Taylor's eyes widen in surprise at my question, and rambling but he recovers quickly,

"No sir, it's fine, I will drop Gail off on Friday and spend a few hours with them, then return back here, in time for Miss Harper's visit... But Thank you for the offer Sir" I can tell from his expression he is still quite bemused, and before either of us can feel anymore awkward, I dismiss him.

Turning my attention back to my computer, I shake my head trying to clear all my wayward thoughts. Half an hour with my Mother and Sister, and I'm totally thrown. Taking a slug of wine from my glass, I open up my email account and continue with the task at hand.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx T

Leaving Mr Grey's office, still slightly dazed, I walk towards the kitchen where I find Gail already rummaging through the fridge. She looks up at me, as I approach and try's to read my expression. A worried look appears on her face,

"Jason what is is? is Mr Grey okay? Does he not want any food?" her tone is anxious, I reach for Gail, wrap my arms around her waist and pull her close to me. Her arms rise and circle my neck, I lean down and kiss her silencing her, as I pull my lips away I answer,

"Grey's fine, and yes, he wants to eat, a sandwich or something light he said" Gails brow furrows, and she huff's,

"He needs more than a sandwich after working alday, you both do, it won't take me long to rustle up something for you both" she steps out of my embrace and starts to pull a few more things from the fridge, "So what's up? You seem..." she cocks her head to one side still trying to read me, I shake my head,

"It's nothing baby... Grey just asked me if I wanted to stay behind with you... That's all" her eyes shoot open in surprise, she goes into auto pilot placing a frying pan on the stove and precooked baked potatoes on a tray, then placing them into the oven for reheating. Jesturing for me to carry on, I do "He mentioned how family's are important and stuff" I shrug and share Gail's wide eyed look. She starts preparing the steaks and salad, she's frowning slightly now and I can tell her brain is working over time, mine too. What the hell has got into Grey, he has never cared about taking me away from Gail before,

"Wow... Well maybe... Do you think he is finally realizing that these weekend relationships he has... Are not really going to get him anywhere? He is such a good man... He deserves so much more than that, he needs to meet a nice girl who will..." Gail's eyes water slightly, as her voice falters, her heart breaks for Grey. She would love to see him settle and have a proper relationship, but I can't see it somehow.

The women he has had in that room of his, some of them have been beautiful, good company for him, even though he would probably never admit it. One of them should have suited him, but he's never let himself go, no matter how intimate they got with each other, his guard was always up. They were always kept at a distance, no personal physical contact at all, not from them anyway. Whenever it happened "accidentally" he would always reprimand them, remind them of his rules, made them regret crossing his lines. It would have to be someone pretty darn special, to ever break down his walls.

The room and its occupants scare Gail a bit I think, not that she would ever say such a thing but I know she find's it hard to accept that part of him. It's good that she is not here at the weekends, if she saw some of the things I had seen, she would never be able to look Grey in the eye again, even I struggle and I've seen ALOT in my time, but hey... Each to their own. Gail is still looking at me with hope in her eyes, better nip this in the bud. Pulling her into my arms again, I nuzzle her neck,

"Not everyone can be as lucky as you and me, can they baby" she snuggles closer to me and wraps her arms around my waist sighing softly. God I love this woman, so much compassion for others "Seriously Gail... We have both known Christian long enough, to realize he want's nothing more than these sexual weekend partners. We have seen it ourselves, the minute they start to try and get close to him, he gets rid of them. I don't think this new one is going to last either, he has never encouraged any of the women that have chased him, so please don't waste your time or energy, wishing he would change or that he wants anything more than what he has. He seems happy with the life he has chosen for himself" my voice is knowledgable but she pulls away from me scowling, and I'm slightly taken back, by the out right anger on her face,

"What?" I frown, as I question,

"Happy...he isn't happy" she almost snarled, then her voice softens at my reaction, "It's written all over him how lonely he is, his whole being is crying out for love and comfort, this hard cold exterior people see is just a front... You and I know first hand what a good man he is but also how broken he is, the nightmares, the sleepless nights" she realized her voice was beginning to carry around the room, so she takes a moment to pull herself together. She sighs heavily and looks at me with tears in her eyes "Most nights, we hear how sad he is, well I do, your usually snoring" she rolls her eyes at me, and I have to defend myself,

"I don't snore" I whine, as she scoffs and continues.

"Jason... You don't have to understand or know the music he plays to be able to feel it, some of the music he plays is heartbreaking. You don't have to be Dr Flynn, to recognize a lost soul when you see one, he needs someone Jason, a proper loving person, who can help him, change him, open him up to his full potential" she glances around nervously making sure we can't be heard, "Not some old, cold hearted bitch... Who likes to belittle and control him... Or some young beautiful sub, that is so screwed up herself, that she needs fixing too... How can he possibly heal in that environment? He needs someone to pull him up from the darkness, that he feels he needs to wallow in, he..." she catches my wide eyed expression and stops her rant, looking slightly sheepish,

"God you have given a lot of thought to this haven't you... I never realized... But Gail, it's not our place to interfere, I feel for him too, I'm not a total rock, but what can we do? It's his life, we can't change him. We work for him Gail that's all, we can't tell him what to do, he would NEVER listen anyway, so please don't fret." trying to lighten her mood, I tease her "So come on wench, cook the food already, your man is starving to death here" she pulls away and faces the stove, attending to the steaks. Laughing softly, she rubs away a stray tear, "And make it quick, we have a long separation ahead of us, so I intend to make the most of our last night together" My voice is full of inuendo, she turns to me and blushes slightly,

"It doesn't have to be... Are you sure you don't want to stay home with me?" she looks up at me hopefully. Sorry baby, but you got no chance,

"You have got to be kidding... I love you baby, but a week of vomit, crying and crap, coming from something no matter how small an cute, is not my idea of fun, I would sooner deal with Grey.


	2. 2 A Different Direction

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A

As I stand back and admire my handy work, I can't help but smile. That looks so good, even if I say so myself. The deep red coloured wall's really warm up this large space, and make it feel so different. Placing the roller down into the paint tray, I fold up my dustsheets, and head to the kitchen sink and wash the paint from my hands. I turn off the stove and grab a bottle of water from the fridge. Just them, I'm aware of the apartment door flying open and in walks Kate. Laden down with her suitcase, carry on luggage and God only knows, how many duty free bags. She beams at me, eyes wide roaming over the apartment. I can't help returning her grin,

"Wow Steele, you've been busy, this place look's great" she smirks, while taking in the walls and my new attire, I blush slightly knowing I must look a mess,

"You don't mind do you Kate? I know it's your apartment but I just wanted to warm it up a little, I'm sorry if I have overstepped..." she cuts me off,

"Whoa... Don't go there Ana this place look's amazing, you live here too, and spend far more time here, than I do, so it's not a problem and I so love the red, but now the rest of the room looks empty void of colour, we need splash's of colour with accessories maybe..." I cut her off now, smiling brightly,

"One step ahead of you Kate, wait there" I have been busy... I wanted to surprise her,

Kate walk's further into the apartment, closes the door, dropping all she carry's, into a heap on the floor. She head's for the fridge, pulling it open she grab's a bottle of wine two glasses and sniffs deeply, as she walk's past the stove into the lounge area,

"You cooked your specialty too... God when did you find the time" she shakes her head with a grin and pops open the wine,

"In-between coat's of paint" I reply with a giggle "You can't rush these thing's and it's true a watched wall never dry's" she flop's down onto the sofa and starts to pour the wine.

I pull down the full body zip of the white coverall's I'm wearing, and step out of them in just skimpy shorts and a fitted T-shirt. I pull off the cloth cap I'm wearing, allowing my hair to tumble free, I hear Kate gasp,

"Wow Steele... Talk about hiding the full package, who would have thought you'd look so cute under those things. They swim on you, how many time's did you roll those legs up?" she giggle's taking a swig of her wine. She offers me my glass but I shake my head for now and skip off to my bedroom to show her my purchases. Returning into the room carrying the shopping bags, Kate shakes her head in amazement,

"You really took this seriously didn't you" I just nod enthusiastically as I pull out a large red and cream block pattern throw for the sofa. Running around, I throw it over the sofa so it drapes effortlessly, I throw red cream and chocolate striped cushions onto the two large armchairs. I also have a few small abstract prints in hues of red and a large red vase. Placing these things around the room just brings everything together. Taking my glass of wine from Kate, I flop onto the sofa next to her,

"Sorry Kate, I had too much time on my hands, I just needed something to do. I think I need a job, just something to fill the time and pay the way, till I find a job in publishing. My GPA is great but there just doesn't seem to be anything editorial out there at the minute, but I have a few interviews, so I can but hope"

"Ana, you don't need to look for a job... You have found your vocation" Kate says her voice filled with awe, I look puzzled,

"What do you mean Kate?" my eyebrows furrow, I'm not following her,

"Ana look at what you have done here in a day, you have transformed this place, it's cozy, warm, lived in and I love it... Thank you" her eyes are still scanning the room, her grin getting wider, but she has still lost me,

"Yes, it does look good, but how is that a job?" I ask, her as she look's at me shaking her head. Reaching down to the floor, she grabs the wine bottle and tops up both our glasses,

"Ana, people need you to bring life to a place, turn a house into a home, not everyone can do that, or has your eye for detail, with me it's clothes you know that... But this" she waves her arm gesturing around the room "This is definitely you" I start to shake my head dreading where she is going to go with this,

"Try... Just place an advert in the local paper, I will do it for you at work, get some business cards printed, visit a few store's, just see what happens, it can't do any harm to try... Who knows..." I feel my jaw drop, and hear Kate giggle,

"Oh Kate I couldn't...the responsibility of someone else's home... Would be too much, what if I..." she stares at me raising her eyebrows, causing me to pause,

"Ana, you have just done it, technically anyway, this is my apartment, our home, but my name is on the deeds and I'm more than happy, with what you have done, happy enough to give a reference to anybody that asks"

"Oh Kate I'm not good enough, I have no experience with this type of work this has been just a bit of fun"

"Ana look at that wall, it's perfect, you're cutting in, at the ceiling and woodwork line is razor sharp, you have a very steady hand, people would pay good money for that high standard of work. So I believe and have faith that you can do this, I believe enough, to help start off this new business venture" pulling herself up from the sofa, I watch as she retrieves her purse from the pile by the door, pulling out her cheque book, she writes a cheque and hands it to me and raises her glass,

"A toast, to all new adventures, you can do this Ana, just roll with it" taking the cheque from her, my face split's in two. Could I really do this?... Oh what the hell why not, I need the cash, and it was alot of fun. I raise my glass and we clink to success,

"Well done Steele, now when can we eat I'm starving" Kate places her glass on the nearby table and heads to the kitchen, "Your lasagna smells divine, and apart from airline food, I haven't eaten since yesterday" following her, I head for the stove, grab an oven mitt and remove the lasagna from the oven.

"It's ready now so sit and I will serve, how come your home early anyway? I didn't expect you till the weekend" I pull out two plates from a nearby cupboard and start to dish up, adding garlic bread to the plates I head to the dining table where Kate is setting out placemats and cutlery, we both sit down and start to dig in,

"It's only a flying visit I'm afraid, I'm off again tomorrow morning" she mumbles with a mouth full of food,

"I will drive you back to the airport in the morning, then I can hit the hardware store" I beam at her in between bites,

We chat over dinner, she tells me all about her trip and we enjoy our time together. Soon our time is over and it's time for bed, and I can't help but fall asleep with a grin on my face, as tomorrow I start my new adventure.

Leaving the airport after seeing Kate off, I eagerly head for the nearest hardware store. I'm not even sure what I really need, but firstly, things first, I need some decent sized coverall's. To my disappointment, once again, nothing is small enough, they're all designed for men, very tall men it would seem. Doesn't anyone ever think, that a woman would want to get her hands dirty too.

As I walk the department store, I find everything I could possibly need and stock up. A few more dustsheets wouldn't hurt, plus brushes, rollers, extension poles, tray's all the usual stuff.

Laden with my work tools and supplys, I leave the store and instantly struggle to get everything in the small boot of Wanda. Kate gave me a great place to hire a small van, and her generous start up check, will more than cover that and all of this lot, that will have to be my next port of call. Then a printer for a few business cards, there are machine's now, I'm sure, so pretty quick I should be good to go. I just have to wait for the phone to ring. I rub my hands together joyfully just like a child "Oh this is so exciting".


	3. 3 While The Cats Away

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx C

After an exhausting few days, it's now Monday evening. As I step out of my car in front of my parent's home, I perfect my facade. I force a smile to my lips, bring my barriers down and stand tall. The powerful CEO, the Dominant, who has just spent the last Fourtyeight hours, being master of his own universe, takes over. I've perfected it well.

Never, must my family get to see, the lost little boy that I revert back to, once I cross this threshold... It always hits me like a wrecking ball, how lost I feel, and this time will be no different... The strong need to fit in, to feel like I belong... I can't understand why I can't feel it, they show me nothing but love, support and understanding. Even at my worst growing up, they stood behind me, showed me nothing but patience, but I can't let them in, I won't let them in... It would hurt too much if I lost them.

And I would lose them, I know I would... If they ever knew the real me... Who I have been over this weekend, as their eyes were not on me. The things I have done over those days alone, would turn my family against me, never mind what dark secrets my past may hold.

I made sure Susannah felt our parting, she said goodbye to every toy in my collection, and never safe worded once, not even getting close... The orifices I invaded, the positions I made her hold for such long periods of time. The toys I used wielding harder and harder, made me feel amazing. With the knowledge that I controlled everything, her every sound, her every response, controlled if, or when, she could give in to her body's screaming need for orgasm. Made my releases, mind blowing... But still... Empty somehow.

Total control in my playroom is such a powerful rush, it consumes me, but it doesn't cling like it used to. As soon as my physical needs are satisfied. it's over, I want to be out of there, and out of their presence. Even this weekend, we both knew on entering the playroom, it would be our last time together, and we both made the most of it, but I didn't want to linger. Choosing to stay in my office avoiding her in between our scenes, even leaving the apartment while she was resting.

I felt Susannah pour everything she had into our scenes over this weekend, hoping I would feel or react to her somehow. The want was clear in her eyes, on the very few occasions I gave permission for her to even look at me that is, but I didn't want to see it, not from her. My family yes... But not from her.

I felt her hurt as we finalized the end of our contract, handling the paperwork, signing our names, filing the papers away. An everyday occurrence for me, just another deal for me, but for her a bit more I think... But it didn't reach me, her pain. I saw it, but I would never react to it. She provided a service I was more than happy with, now I don't need it anymore, that's that... She has been well rewarded.

It will probably be months before I take on another submissive, I smile at the memory of the old me... Lining them up... Never leaving a gap, so they all blurred into one, but now... The urge isn't as strong, and I didn't even glance up, as Susannah left my apartment for the very last time.

There does seem to be a cold void in me though, that all the control in the world can't seem to fill. My family warm it slightly but it's not enough, it's never left me, more is needed but I don't know what more there is. Power... Respect... Accomplishment... All great ego boosters and I have them all regularly, but something is missing. It's hard to find something, when you don't know what it is, that your looking for... With a heavy sigh, I square my shoulders, force my smile and head for the house.

The door swings open as I approach the steps, my mother's beautiful welcoming face beams at me. My chest throbs, I return her smile, burying deep my previous thoughts...

I love this woman... My Savior, if only I could show her how much. She walks towards me, meeting me half way, clasping my face in her hands she lovingly kisses both my cheeks. I place my hands on her arms, and continue to smile,

"Happy birthday darling, we are so glad you could do this before your business trip. It feels like such a long time since we all last got together, Mia is over the moon your here darling, but no more than I" she kisses my cheek again as I hug her stiffly, so wanting to just melt in her arms. I feel the guilt of not spending enough time with her, and try to look away. She releases my face, "Come on... Let's get you inside" she whispers, taking my hand, she pulls me into the house.

And there they all are...my family, Mom Dad, Elliot Mia, even my Grandparents, all with raised champagne glasses ready for my entrance. Mom hands me a glass after taking one for herself, she steps in front of me to join my father, who wraps his arm around her waist pulls her close and places a soft kiss on her temple. My Mom's face lights up, she turns to me again and in unison they start to sing "Happy Birthday" and I can't help myself. My eyes light up and my face beams, as everyone sings enthusiastically, smiling happily. These people mean the world to me, I can feel it, but as quick as the feeling comes its gone. As they all rush at me, the panic sets in, a sea of bodies rush towards me, and I instinctively step back. Mia is first to reach me of course, she has always been the fastest, she grabs my waist burrowing her head into my chest squeezing me tightly. As my panic recedes, I wrap my arms around her and kiss her head softly, she pulls away slightly, beaming up at me,

"Happy birthday Christian, it's so good to see you... When are you leaving for New York?," she gushes, her eyes sparkle and I can't help but raise my brow and grin,

"I've only just arrived and you already want me to leave, thanks Mia" I scold, I hear Elliot scoff, and my father chastising Mia,

"No... No... It's not like that at all, I promise," she mumbles, at least having the grace to look embarrassed, backpedalling she adds "I just want to know how much time I get to spend, with my wonderful brother that's all" she hugs me tighter to prove her point and as I see Elliot approach he teases,

"Well you dug yourself out of that one, pretty well Mia" Elliot grins punching me lightly on the shoulder, Mia releases me and I shake Elliot's hand "Happy birthday bro"

"Thanks Elliot" I mumble as my dad comes along side, Elliot steps out the way as my dad grabs my hand,

"Happy birthday son, great to see you" he shakes my hand, seeming genuinely pleased to see me. "You have really pleased your mother by coming over tonight... But really son" his voice lowers, he glances over at Mom, who is busy talking to the servers for this evening. Still shaking my hand, he leans into me and whispers "How much time do you have? You're not going to rush off in an hour or so are you son,? Your mom would be..." he straightens up to read my expression, worried that he might of said too much. Knowing I'm not really comfortable with my mother's fussing, my Father adds as an after thought, "We have a five course dinner, planned in your honor, so you better be hungry" he jest's, as he notices my discomfort. I hate having the pressure of knowing my Mothers happiness revolves around me, she will never give up trying to reach me fully. Releasing my hand he takes a step back, Elliot as always misses nothing

"God everyone is digging themselves into holes tonight, come on bro, lets say hi to Gramp and Gramy, they can't possibly get into trouble" he throw's his arm over my shoulder as I stiffen and he leads me over to where our grandparents are sitting. Elliot always has a way of finding the fun in every situation and defusing everything, it was annoying growing up with it, but I'm grateful for it now.

After more attempted hugs and kisses, Mom announces that dinner is ready. As we all make our way into the dining room, Mia fly's at me, a swirl of fushia swims before me, as she bounces in front of me. She holds out her arms, looking up at me sweetly. What is she up to?,

"Here let me take your jacket for you Christian" she sings "The dining room is quite warm, Mom had the fire lit, thought it would make it nice and homey" she holds out her arms expectantly for my jacket, and as always I do as she wishes. Take off my jacket, I glance up, I notice a slight frown on my Mother's face. She glances at Mia shaking her head but the look is fleeting, so I pay it no attention. Walking into the dining room we all take our seats, as Mia skips into the hall.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx M

Taking Christian's jacket, I run back into the hall, as Christian enters the dining room out of sight now, I rummage through his pockets till I find his phone. Mom's rule about no phones at the dinner table guaranteed it would not be on his person, I quickly enter a downstairs bathroom and open up his phone. Finding his contact list, I dial the person I need,

"Hi, this ... No it's Mia Grey, I'm sorry to call so late but I have a job for you, and urgent ASAP job... Tomorrow if... Well, were will you be in the morning... Yes I know where it is... Okay, 11am is fine, see you then... Oh and please, don't mention to Christian that I called... I will explain tomorrow... Thank you... Yes... Yes Goodnight." step one done and dusted.

I delete the history of the call, and search for what else I need. Quickly locating all the security codes for Christian's apartment, I copy them into my phone. Locking his phone back up, I place it back in his jacket pocket. Leaving the bathroom I hang Chrisitan's jacket in the hall closet. Step two complete. Now for step three.

Returning to the dining room I take my place opposite Christian, he is seated between Mom and Gramy, I smile over at him, barely able to hide my excitement. I will let him settle and eat first before I start to quiz him.

I hope he's not too mad with me, when he see's what I have planned for his birthday, I have him a present for tonight of course but my real present is going to change his life and he will thank me for it one day I'm sure of it, but he won't see it till after his trip... Speaking of which...

"Christian... You never did tell me, when do you leave and when are you home?" I need to know how much time I've got.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx C

"Our flight is scheduled to leave just after midnight, and hopefully if all goes well, I will be returning home Friday morning. So you're not getting rid of me too soon, you're stuck with me for a while yet" she grins widely at me, genuinely happy with that thought, as I try my best to tease. With Mia, it has always been easy, our connection is strong... She was a baby when we first met, never knew me and what she has seen and heard, has made no difference to her. She thankfully, has the hide of an elephant and never feels my short temper, or reacts to the snide remarks I throw at her... She is such a sweet natured soul, unlike me... Mom got both ends of the scales with me and her. God my thoughts are getting depressing early tonight... Smile Grey.

" I wouldn't want it any other way Christian, I love spending time with you" Mia reaches across the table and squeezes my hand, we are both then distracted by Mom who raises her glass to toast me. Once everyone has followed suit and lifted there glass's she speaks,

"A toast, to my little boy, who grew up to be a wonderful man... Happy Birthday Christian... We all love you so much" her eyes cloud and dad reaches and takes her hand. I feel the blush tint my cheeks, as I thank them all.

The night passes quickly and before I know it I'm in the car heading to the airport, where the jet is ready and prepared to go.

I was surprised how I enjoyed myself tonight, apart from Mia's annoying pointless questions, why does she need to know which is my favorite season, flower, place to visit, anyone would think we had only just met. I really don't know what goes through that girl's head sometimes, but all in all, it was a good evening. I still felt something was missing though, a part of me, the bit that make's me feel I belong to that group of wonderful people, something to knit us all together.

"Taylor" I mumble as the airport approaches, I meet his eye in the rearview mirror,

"Sir" he questions, his eyebrow's raised

"When we return on Friday, you're off the clock go... Go... Go to Gail, spend the weekend with her, I don't want to see you both, before Sunday lunch time" as we parked and prepare to leave the car, I hear Taylor reply,

"Thank you sir" I notice Taylor's look of surprise and grabbing my bag, I quickly head up the jet step's.


	4. 4 Right Place Right Time

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I awake bright and early and jump in the shower. Today's the day, Kate has emaild me, a list of interior design places and studios within the local area to visit, so I have no hesitation, now that I have destinations to reach. Flying solo with just an advert in the paper is a bit daunting, you never know who is going to pick up the phone, as Kate so rightly pointed out. At least with interior design places, especially within Kate's price range, you know the clientele won't be scum. Her word's not mine.

After my shower, I quickly dress, then head out and jump in my new white van, well, new to me. The mileage is pretty high, so it's obviously been around the block once or twice, but hopefully it will do it's job.

I head for the center of my list of address's, once there, I park the van and start walking. I pop into one or two of the store's, chat with the owners leave a card or two, but I don't feel too optimistic. The people they mainly deal with, have huge homes and need team's of painter's, not just someone who just wants small jobs, but hey, there is plenty more names left on my list.

Turning a corner I see the large glass fronted studio that I was looking for, it's amazing, all sorts of beautiful things to brighten up your home, arranged in the window calling you in. I'm eager to enter, as I do, I notice a woman sitting behind a desk looking at plans and colour charts, I approach and she smiles,

"Hi, how may I help you?" she ask's, squaring my shoulders and walking towards her I start to speak,

"Hi my names Ana, I'm interested in any work you may have, just adding touches to peoples homes, feature walls maybe, just helpin to..." she smiles but her eyes glaze over and once again it doesn't look hopeful. The same reasons and excuses start to leave her lips, so I interrupt, I don't want to hear them again,

"Look, that's fine... If I could just leave a card just in case, I will leave you to your designs" I dig into my pocket and pull out a card, "You look like you're struggling" I say nodding towards her plans, she sighs heavily,

"God yes, pamperd princess's bedroom, she doesn't want pink... All little girls like pink. I just can't.." her tone carrys annoyance,

"How old is the little girl" I can't help but ask,

"Eleven I think" she looks at me frowning, probably wondering where I'm going with this,

"

Well what are her interests?" I ask,

"Well I don't know..." she mutters,

"Maybe you should find out, use that as inspiration maybe, or even just ask her, at Eleven years old, she obviously has an opinion as she hates pink, so..." I blush slightly at the amused expression on her face, she notices my discomfort,

"Sorry I..." I begin to stutter,

"No, not at all... You've been a great help, it never occurred to me, I don't meet a lot of my clients kid's... But it surely can't hurt, anything to make this job a bit easier... Thank you, I will definitely keep you in mind, if anything pops up." she offer's me her hand and I shake it gladly, "My name is Gia" she introduces,

"Ana, Anastasia Steele" I return with a smile, glad I have made my first contact, "You're welcome ... Do you mind if I look around?" I gesture with my eyes, to the rest of the studio,

"Not at all, stay as long as you'd like" she smiles broadly picking up her phone.

I turn away from her and start to wonder, God this place is great, the things are beautiful, you could have a field day in here, they sell everything you could possibly need to transform a home. I'm lost in thought but vaguely hear the shop door open and close and a female voice greet and chat to Gia at her desk.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx M

As I swing open the door to Gia's studio, I can feel the excitement hit me, I only have three days, just three days to transform my brother's boring home. I don't have time for anything major, which is a pity but I'm sure with Gia's help we can brighten up his place. Make a few simple changes, and he will not be too angry I'm sure, well I'm hoping. I see Gia jump up from her desk to greet me, keen to help, Grey's mean money.

"Good morning Gia, good to see you again, sorry I called so late last night but I need your help" I notice her face light up,

"Of course Miss Grey... Your brothers are clients of mine, so what can I..." She gushes at me but I cut her short, eager to start planning,

"Yes I know, that's why I'm here, it's my brother that I need your help with, Christian..." I notice her cheeks flush and her eyes widen at the mention of my brother, I roll my eyes, not another one. All my friends are the same, fawning over him at events he attends... But anyway "Yes Christian, his place is so dull, so I want to surprise him for his birthday, adding some much needed colour, nothing drastic just enough to brighten his day..." I pause, as I notice the worried look on Gia's face "what is it?" I ask,

"Miss Grey forgive me, but...I have met Mr Grey on a few occasions, and I know he has very strict outlines for his homes, he like's to keep things simple, clean line's, stark... I don't think he would be too hap..." she blushes slightly, as she notices my scowl,

"That's the point, everything follows the same colour scheme... Always the same, so he need's a change, so while he is out of town for a few days I have that chance, now can you help me or not?" I don't have time for her resistance. We all know what Christian is like and yes... I know he won't like what I'm doing, not at first, but hey, he need's this. He will soon calm down, and well... What's the worse he could do?

Gia straightens up, going all professional, I guess it has finally sunk in that the customer is always right, the prospect of such a lucrative job can't pass her by, also the realization that she won't have to deal with an angry Christian... I will, has probably hit her. I can tell that she has definitely had to deal with an angry Christian and I do understand her resistance but... I swallow pushing away the feeling of regret that washes over me, I have to do this, he needs this... Gia's voice reaches me,

"So when is Mr Grey away? What dates do you have in mind I can check my diary and book you..." I screech loudly, as the panic that my surprise might not happen hits me, this has to happen,

"Today...Christian is away now, for the next three days only, so I NEED someone today..." I try to stress the importance but Gia's face falls,

"I am sorry Miss Grey... But I'm just far too busy" she nods at her desk which is scattered with all sorts of blueprints and things, "I couldn't possibly not so soon... Obviously I can provide all the materials and accesories you may need" she walks behind her desk opens a draw, pulls out a hand full of paint colour charts, and a selection of catalogues, for everything that is available from her store, "But I'm sorry Miss Grey, it's too short notice for me to provide any labour, my team is busy with..." I notice her eyes widen hopefully, as an idea hits her, she looks past me to a woman I didn't even notice was in here and calls to her.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A

My wonderful daydream of running wild in this place, is cut short by an insistent voice reaching my ears,

"Miss... Excuse me Miss" I look up to see Gia, behind her desk glancing at my business card, that I gave her earlier, "Miss Steele do you have a moment?" I walk over, holding my head high trying to look professional, smiling brightly with more confidence, than I actually feel.

"Of course, what is it?" I offer my hand to the young girl with her, "Hi" I say as we shake hands, she eyes me up and down, with surprise to her face,

"Miss Steele this is Miss Mia Grey, she needs some help brightening up her brothers home, do you think you could be able to help?" Gia asks me eagerly,

"Well yes of course, I would love to, when?" I manage to say, my heart is pounding... My first job, keep calm Ana, your a professional, well... That's what I need to appear to be,

"Well are you free, say from... Now" her eyes widen expectantly, as do Miss Grey's, I look between them, aware they are eagerly awaiting my response,

"Well sure" I slightly mumble, fear kicking in. It's just about to get real, someone is going to trust me to... Good God, I'm deaf.

Miss Mia Grey's, very loud, whoop of joy, vibrates my ear drums. God she's loud, but I can't help return her huge grin. She pulls me into her arms and hugs me tightly. Gia seems very happy too, as her face split's into a grin I can't help feel more confident,

"Wonderful... Now..." Gia hands me the selection of colour charts and catalogues, that were on her desk. Looking between the two of us, her voice is commanding, "Why don't you two, go to the coffee shop next door, talk about the details. I will make a few calls, make sure I have a delivery slot available for this afternoon, see what's in stock. Just let me know, as soon as possible what you need, with time so short we need to get started straight away" I hear Miss Grey cough. Gia and I both look towards her, she turns to me and smiles sheepishly,

"No offense, but do you have any references... Anyone I could speak too, regarding your work" my face flushes and I start to panic, but Gia save's me.

"Miss Grey, Miss Steele has been of great assistance to me with the project I am working on at the moment, her ideas have been well received and saved me no end of problems" I catch her wink at me and feel the need to add my own confirmation.

"Miss Grey, I have worked for a Miss Katherine Kavanagh, her father owns Kavanagh media, I could give you her phone number, as I'm sure she would be more than happy to vouch for me" there is no need, to inform her about my connection to Kate. Hopefully my work will speak for its self, once I get started. I notice Miss Grey's eyes gleam and her smile widens, if that's even possible, she seems a happy little thing,

"The Kavanagh's... I've met them, if they trust you, then... That's good enough for me, and with Gia's recomendation... Come let's get started" I smile thankfully at Gia, as Miss Grey, grabs my hand and starts to drag me to the door. She then pulls up short, as she remembers something, "Gia here is my Amex, put everything on this, Miss Steele can have anything she needs, no limit, she will be back later today"

"Yes Miss Grey" and with that I'm pulled from the shop.

"After half an hour of listening to Mia tell me about her ideas, I have a clear picture of what SHE want's. Bold bright colours, that shout at you, I am not too sure though. I want to see the place first, get a feel for who live's there before we make any final commitments.

We are sitting at a table near the back of the coffee shop, we have open catalogues and paint charts with marked off colours spread all over it. I have taken a lot of notes, but I need to find out a bit more, about the person that lives there, find out about her Brother,

"Could you tell me a little about your brother Mia" her face brightens and she starts to gush,

"Well he is rich, handsome, more than handsome" she giggles before rolling her eyes, "He works such awfully long hours, has no girlfriend... Ever... No social life outside of work, he is just stuck in his clinical tower growing old before his time, he doesn't ever..." she speaks passionately about her brother and obviously loves him, but I can't help notice, that there is still no real personal details,

"He must have some interests" I question, but she looks bemused "What does he do when he has time off?" I clarify, she just shakes her head at me scowling,

"He never has any time off, even now, he is away on business..." she looks thoughtful, then realizes something "He has a boat, and likes to fly sometimes, he has a helicopter, a house in Aspen, loves to ski..." my thoughts start to wander as I get a bigger picture ... He sounds very lonely to me. All the things he enjoys, are solitary hobbies, his sister obviously loves him but I don't think she knows him very well.

"Do you have any photo's of him?" I ask curiously as I hand her my business card, she shrugs to my surprise, "Here are my contact details, send me anything you have, it all helps to build a picture of the person, get a feel for their home, what they might like" she nods at me, writing down her number on a paint chart,

"Well I will leave it all up to you, what ever you think best. I just thought Gia, could do all of this, so never really planned to get so involved, I just want his place to come alive, it's dead at the minute, you will soon see, once you get there" also on the paint chart she writes down her brothers address, including all the entry codes I will need, "Sorry I'm meeting friends soon for lunch, so I have to dash, I will keep in touch, and send you what I have on Christian, send me photo's of your progress and I will pop in when I get the chance" her tone is uninterested, but suddenly she straightens, looking at me squarely, "You must be out by Thursday night though, he will be home Friday morning at the earliest, any major problems speak to Gia... Apart from that have fun, and bring some fun into that dull apartment... Please." I nod with a smile and with a swift hug, and a few air kisses, she's gone.

I'm left sitting at the table feeling slightly dazed, like I've been squashed by a steamroller. She has handed over her brothers home to me, without no real instructions or ideas, I have an unlimited budjet, and free rein to do as I please. The responsability alone is enough to send my heart rate soaring... Oh God... What am I worrying about, this is gonna be so much fun.


	5. 5 A Touch Of Colour

A/N THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR STICKING WITH THIS, ALL YOUR REVIEWS AND COMMENTS ARE GRATEFULLY

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A

After Mia leaves me at the coffee shop, I take a minute to make a few more note's. Then I pack away all my colour charts and things, and head to my van. I urgently head for the address Mia gave me, as I approach the block I look skyward and gasp, realizing that I can't even see the top of the building. I am in front of one of the most affluent buildings in Seattle, this has to be a mistake.

I approach the car park and enter the number into the security barrier, that Mia scribbled down for me. I hold my breath as I wait for it to react, when it slowly starts to lift I can't help my smile, this is it... I'm on my way.

Parking my van in a private bay, I spot the elevator, head over and push in a code, once the doors close, I enter yet another set of numbers and stand back as the elevator starts to climb. Suddenly it dawns on me, as I skip past every floor without hesitation., that I'm in the express elevator... Oh my God, I'm heading to the penthouse, the penthouse... Oh dear God.

As the doors open I nervously step out, dubiously shouting "Hello..." I must have the wrong place surely. Stepping into the hallway, my eyes are drawn to a wall that's just covered in painting's all carrying the same theme, mother and child Madonna's in every style possible, God they can't be originals surely? They would be worth a fortune.

Walking forward I enter a large, no large, isn't big enough, it's huge, two stories worth of huge. I can't help myself, I'm drawn into the large open space, "ECHO" I call and giggle, as my voice bounces back at me several times. I enter further spinning round and around as I go, trying to take it all in. I feel like Julie Andrews on the mountain top twirling around and around.

My eye is pulled suddenly to the corner of the room, where a beautiful piano sit's, instinctively I'm drawn over to it. Running my fingers slowly over the keys, I feel suddenly sad somehow, I sit down fitting comfortably in the permanent indentation in the small stool. Someone spends a lot of time sitting here I think, running my fingers over the keys, I long to hear its tone but I don't play.

Pulling myself away I walk further into the apartment, noticing the dining table I head over and lay everything Gia gave me out on it. With my notebook in hand I start to explore. I take heed to what I find in each room, try to feel their vibes, taking note of their purpose and colours are instantly coming to mind. Jotting down what accessories are also needed, I prepare my list. Once I feel I have all I need, I eagerly head back to Gia's shop.

Gia is busy checking all my request's against her stock list on her computer, it's a long list. I daren't think how much this will all cost, but judging by the penthouse only the best will do, and The Grey's seem to deal with Gia a lot, so must know her price range.

"Well Ana, all the paint you need is in stock and can be delivered, straight from the warehouse to Escala in an hour or so, together we should be able to gather some of the household items you requested, from right here in the shop, the rest can be added to your order from the warehouse, and added to your paint drop off, so you will have all you need to get started" she looks pleased with everything, and has probably made a small fortune from this but I'm the grateful one.

"Gia, thank you so much for this opportunity, you are taking a chance with me and I appreciate that so much, I'm so excited and hope I can..." her brows furrow causing me to stop "What is it?" I ask, dreading to find out what's bothering her. I hope she isn't having second thoughts, about trusting me with this, her reputation hangs on this,

"Ana, have you met Mr Grey, Mia's brother?" she glances at me with an expression I can't quite read,

"No... As you know I only met Mia this morning, why?" She doesn't answer for a while and as we both start gathering things up, I see the hesitation in her. When she finally speaks, her words don't ease any doubt's I may be having.

"Ana my advice to you... Would be to make sure you are not around, when Mr Grey gets back, I really don't think he will be happy about what his sister has planned... But she is the customer and obviously feels she knows her brother, but on the few occasions I have worked with Mr Grey... I have come to realize he is not a person to be messed with, he doesn't like interference he..." I know she want's to say more but she just shrugs and continues with her task, "At the end of the day Ana, a 'Grey' recommendation, is worth its weight in gold. So make sure to take photos for a portfolio, before and after shots and ask Mia for a recommendation letter on completion..." I tune out slightly worried more now,

"What's he like?" I ask in a quiet voice, Gia's voice is just as quiet when she replies,

"Mr Grey is..." I notice her cheek's flush her pupils dilate with longing, "Mr Grey is... Well, he's very handsome" more blushing...and then a thought hit's her and a scowl appears before she continues "Don't be fooled by this good looks though, he is a strong man, a private man, cold in business and personal regard but... Anyway, you won't meet him, so not to worry... Get in, get done, get out, that's your mission and if you choose to accept it, you will be handsomly rewarded" we laugh together, as she seems to have composed herself, but I can't help wondering what has happened between the two of them.

Half an hour later I pull into Escala once again, entering the elevator I have all my work gear with me, the ride is swift and before I know it I'm once again back in the huge penthouse. Setting everything up in a corner of the kitchen, I dig out my work clothes, dressing quickly I take another look around.

Mia is right, this place is amazing but it feels empty somehow, her brother must be lonely rattling around this place on his own but I think some sort of help must live in. A few rooms at the back have a completely different vibe, their bright, colourful, they have lots of family photos, they have a daughter maybe. So he's not totally alone, but why would one person need so much space, so many rooms not used.

As I only have a limited amount of time, I will start with the most important rooms. I'm still undecided what to do with the large living area it's far too big for me to tackle fully, but a small wall of colour is needed, but no mind, something will come to me.

I think I will start with his office, it is obviously the most important room to this man, he's a powerful CEO owns his own company, according to his sister so he must spend most of his time in there. An office must be calm, tranquil, I think I know the perfect shade of the colour that I want to use in there, and with his interests and hobbies it should be a good choice.

I pick up what I need from the kitchen and head for the office, laying dust sheets down against the wall I want to paint, I can do nothing but wait now. Another room comes to mind, past a locked door at the top of the stairs, there is a bedroom, only a guest room I'm guessing, as the master suite is on this floor but I don't know what it was, but I felt that room above all others here, need a change. Its a beautiful room, white like everywhere else, beautiful furniture, a balcony displaying the wonderful view this place has, but it seems to be cast in shadow and feels sad somehow. So a bit of sunshine is needed definitely in that room, and I have chosen the most beautiful pale yellow, so I will set up in there too. Good thing with this job is, I can certainly deal with more than one wall at a time, everything has to dry so I can bounce between the rooms plus...

The elevator sounds and I squeal with joy... My delivery... Running into the hallway I'm disappointed to see it still closed, I could have sworn I...

"Hello" from the back of the utility room, I hear voices and head towards them, wow a service elevator, I never noticed it before,

"Hi" I respond as I see two men heading towards me, pushing two large storage cages laden with all my tins of paint and items from Gia's shop. A set of extending ladders is attached to one cage, thanks Gia you think of everything, my small steps will never do in the living area,

"Well... What have we here..." the closest man to me mutters, while smiling bright eyes full of humor "A woman... Never met a woman decorator before..." I roll my eyes, I had the same response from the guys at the hardware store yesterday. Not encouraging them at, all in their chatter, I quickly sign the delivery slips and steer them back the way they came.

"What no coffee..." one of the men tries to joke but I'm not in the mood, I don't respond and they soon take the hint and leave. Heading back to the delivery cages, I quickly open them pulling stuff out eager to start.

A few hours later, I have three walls painted in different colours with fans directed at them to help them dry. Some downtime is needed now I think, putting down my paint brush, I quickly take photographs and send them to Mia, then head for the kitchen. After washing my hands, I pick up my hold all, and empty its contents onto the breakfast bar. Taking out a box of tea bags, I find and switch on the kettle. Looking around the great room, I notice an comfy looking armchair near the large window, perfect. Picking up a fresh dustsheet, I walk over and cover the chair, heading back to the kitchen, I finish making my tea, grab my sandwich and a book I brought from home, and head for the armchair.

I throw the book down on the floor, I just can't concentrate, I don't know what it is about this place, it's beautiful, grand, it screams expense, but it feels so unlived in. While pottering about, I have come across no real personal items, no photo's, well a few on a shelf in his office. A family gathering on a boat, an older couple in each others arm's, and one of Mia and who I'm presuming is her other brother, they don't look anything alike, but nothing else. No holiday snaps or trinkets, no half read books or newspapers, nothing to show how this person spends their time, it's like an empty show home. Everything is hidden away, clean bare lines everywhere, this place deserves to be brightened up and Mia might be right, it should help her brother.

I get the impression of loneliness, a wave of sadness from this place, but for some reason I love being here. Curled up now in this chair, I feel comfortable. Glancing around, my eyes go straight to the massive fireplace, and I long to see what this room would look like by firelight. It's just starting to get dark, so the feel of the place is changing, and I can't help visualize how the room would change, how it would feel.

It's a stranger's home, I know nothing about the man that lives here, but for some reason I want to. I want to see his reaction when he see's what I have done. I need to know how close, my colour choices would have been to his own, if he ever ventured away from the safety of white that is. I want to... I scream, as my phone starts to ring... God I was miles away.

Grabbing my phone I answer quickly, "Hi miss... Sorry Mia... That's good... So your happy with what I have done so far?... Yes... Well, once I got here, I realized bold bright colours, would be just too out of place, it is a male environment after all and I wanted to keep to that... But the colours work well I think... Well thank you... Well I'm still undecided, its such a large room but maybe the firewall... Something bold... Are you sure?... I think subtly is the way to... No, well of course you have an opinion... Okay, something bold in the lounge it is... Yes of course... Things have gone well, I'm going to just finish off the rooms I have started, maybe accessories, then call it a day, the fact that it is empty is a great help, I can stay till I finish... Yes... Oh just one thing, there are a few locked rooms upstairs, what do you want me to do... Storage rooms ... Who's Mrs Jones?... Yes I see, I thought someone else lived here... Were in the utility?... Okay that's fine... Yes I will check them out and decide... Thank you... Try and pop by sometime, the photo's don't do it justice... Okay thank you... See you tomorrow then... Night Mia"

Oh well, she's happy, well sort of. She's a little disappointed, that the colours are not bright and vivid but I strongly feel, that is not the way to go. My colours represent the person who lives here, I hope. I have tried to understand them, make it welcoming and relaxing, warmer, it feels more like a home now.

Pulling myself up from the chair I head back to work once more, realizing I have been daydreaming for far too long, it's later than I thought. So a quick coat on all the walls should be fine, I will deal with everything else tomorrow, including the rooms I have not yet seen. And I will use tonight to have a good think about what to do in this lounge, popping my iPod back on, I get back to it... Oh this is such a buzz.


	6. 6 Way Too Much Red

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A

After returning home, showering, speaking to Kate and having dinner, I'm now sitting in my lounge, drinking a glass of wine. I have a colour chart resting on my knee, and my head is swimming. I'm still so uncertain about the living area in Escala, it feels like such an important room, it is the first one he will see. The first impression he will get, and I want it to be a good one, glancing up again, I notice my handy work here. This is where this where it all started, that's it... The colour here, would work wonderfully on the firewall there, really warming up that large space, especially when the fire is lit and it would be amazing at Christmas time, for the backdrop of a huge Christmas tree. Yes... I think the red will do, I'm sure I have a tin left over, so yes... Decision made, I feel so much better. I'd better head to bed, I still have quite abit to do, and as much as I have loved every minute of it, I feel tired, so rest is needed. Placing my glass in the sink, I dig out the tin of red paint and place it near my things for tomorrow, turning off the lights I head off to bed.

I slept well, apart from my dreams, they were vivid, forever changing flashes of Red, roaring fires and the feeling of great warmth. I could hear piano music and was drawn to it, only to never reach it. I must have ingested to many paint fumes yesterday, my dreams are never usually so disjointed.

I shower, dress and head off to work, I'm eager to get stuck in today. The drive is soon over and once again I'm back in this amazing apartment. Carrying the can of Red paint, I walk over to the firewall. I open the tin and test spot a patch on the wall. Yes... That will definitely work.

Walking into the kitchen area, I prepare some tea. While the kettle boils, I dig out from the cages, the accessories I ordered, for the rooms I painted yesterday. Once my tea is made, I head upstairs. As I add the finishing touches, it all comes together and the two guest rooms are instantly lifted. I head for the office. As I finish accessorising and close the door behind me, I smile, I hope he's happy with it. Today I'm going to spend time in the master bedroom, library and maybe add a splash of something to the kitchen, but first I need to see what is needed, if anything, for the storage rooms upstairs.

I climb the stairs and approach the door, it doesn't open, then I remember Mia told me to use Mrs Jones's keys, that are always hung up in the utility. Heading back downstairs, I return quickly with the keys. I put the key in the lock and open the door, and my hand shoots up to my face to contain the gasp of shock that my body registers. What... The... Fuck... It's a torture chamber, I pull the door closed quickly. My heart is beating so fast my hands are shaking, Oh My God. I turn and run, then freeze at the top of the stairs. My legs give out, and I just sit at the top of the stairs, in total shock trying to get my head around what I have just seen.

What were those contraptions, they looked so... Scary, dangerous. Oh God... Who is this man?... What is this man?... I rest my head in my hands trying to steady my train of thought... I can't believe it... I had no clue, no indication that this was how he spent his spare time... That there was this side to him... The total opposite of what I imagined... What I feel... What does he do in there? My mind is torn. How could he?... What does he?... Why does he?... Oh I need to keep busy, my thoughts are so unsettling...

Heading into the library, I quickly set up and start to paint a small wall in between two floor to ceiling bookcase's, I'm using a lovely soft Cream colour, that works so well against the book's. Now totally distracted by my heart stopping thoughts, I can relax and rationalize. I love this room, I could stay in here for hours, read every book, happily never seeing daylight. Why would a man who does, what ever he does in that room... Have all of these wonderful books?. I dismiss my thoughts and carry on working, turning my iPod up higher, trying to drown everything out.

Soon the library and kitchen have been finished, I felt the kitchen needed a splash of something bright, and after seeing the housekeeper's quarters I got my inspiration. A lovely shade of Lime, is now in-between all the kitchen units, and if feels so much brighter, after Lime accessories are added, it's done. Now the master bedroom.

I feel like I'm intruding in here, this is his private space, it's calm but cold. I want to add a colour, that will remind him of who he is, keep him grounded. After catching a glimpse of the room upstairs, he needs it. I quickly get to work.

My thoughts wander as I busy myself... I wonder if this man is Jekel and Hyde, that room is so far removed, from the man I thought living here... But Gia warned me... Said he was cold... Oh gosh... Has she been here? Has she seen that room? Been in it with him?... There was something, her reaction proved that... But she blushes when she speaks of him, so he hasn't scared her away entirely... And his family obviously don't know. Mia seems so nice, a bit scatty maybe, but her heart is in the right place, obviously, for wanting to do this for her brother... Unless... She is also into, whatever goes on in there... Oh my head is all over the place... Oh good God... I have found myself at the bottom of the stairs... Again... This isn't the first time I have been drawn back here, oh hell...

I turn on my heel back to the bedroom and start to put fresh sheets on the bed. As I run my hand over the pillow to straighten them up, I can't help but imagine, that this is where he sleeps and I can't help it, I lay on the bed. I sigh contentedly, it's so comfy. I like the feel of this room now, not like the feeling I get from the room upstairs.

I climb off the bed, straighten it up, gather together all the discarded packaging and head out the bedroom. That's enough for today, all I have to do tomorrow, is deal with the lounge.

I head home in a daze, my mind still constantly turning over what I think I saw this afternoon. After going through the motions, I have a hot bath and try to sort my thoughts... I give up and head to bed. One more day and I'm done, I just need to get the lounge sorted tomorrow, and I will never have to see him, never meet him, never have to set foot in that apartment again. Closing my eyes, I try my best to bring on sleep.

Arriving at work I feel a little better today, it's not my business what goes on here, I do not know this man, never will know this man, so what he does is his own affair... But I find I can't get that room out of my head. If I thought my dreams were disjointed the other night, last night topped them hands down. I don't even want to recall some of the images my brain conjured up, I never saw everything clearly enough to distinguish one chain and rope from another, the furniture seemed alien, but my brain tried to fill in the gaps and I was scared by what appeared.

Busying myself, I get stuck into the Red firewall, I think secretly I want to leave a piece of myself here. When I'm at home alone, I will know he is looking at the same coloured wall, we will both be... Where the hell is my head at,? I've got to stop this stupid daydreaming, is it the paint fumes? or am I really, drawn to this man on some other level? Just then the elevator pings and my heart stops.

As the elevator opens, in breezes Mia, "Oh Ana, this place looks great, the lime works so well, Mrs Jones will love it... It's her domain after all" Oh, I'm so glad she's happy. She's is busy flying around the room, all waving arms and eager glances,

"Shall I show you around the rooms that are finished?" I ask, eager to share my hard work, and earn her approval,

"Please" she squeals. We rush around the apartment and I point out all the subtle changes I have made. All the rooms gain her approval, she agrees everything looks great and it's subtle enough that her brother won't have a heart attack. As we head for the stairs, I feel the need to rush ahead and steer her to the bedrooms, but she heads for that room... Does she know what's in there?... Did she expect me too?...

"I never did anything in there, you were right... It's just for storage, you can't swing a cat in there. Never mind a roller. She mumbles something about her brother, probably never throwing anything away and moves on past to the bedrooms. For some reason, I feel relieved, I didn't want her to see it, didn't want her to know that side of her brother... I really think it would hurt her... Why should it matter so much to me?.

After checking every room we head back to the lounge, "Oh yes, the Red is wonderful, he will love it" Mia is screaming with delight, jumping up and down, bright colours are definitely her thing... And then it hits me... The Red I have used is... It's the same colour, as the room upstairs... Oh God... What was I thinking?... What will he think?... I keep myself together until Mia's short visit is over. Not really paying much attention to all her chatter... But I do remember, being persuaded to meet her for dinner tonight, as a thanks for all my hard work and to show her all the final pictures and to settle my bill, but everything else is a little hazy.

After Mia leaves, I quickly finish off painting the Red firewall, and the colour constantly reminds me of upstairs, and I have to look, look properly. The images I have been running through my head don't make sense, I need to see for myself. Grabbing the keys, I head upstairs, open the door and enter.

I turn on the light and stand stock still, as I take everything in. The Red from downstairs is everywhere, the walls, the bedding, the leather sofa. I can't help myself, I'm drawn to the bed. Sitting on the edge, I try and imagine what goes on in here, it's definitely torture, with all the whips, canes and God only knows what else, and he certainly doesn't want anyone escaping due to all the restraints... I have never even seen half of these things before, I pull open a drawer, of a beautiful display case and shut it immediately. I don't even want to consider where half of those things are meant to go.

Oh my God... I'm so confused... My head is spinning. This seems so far removed from the man I imagined, the man Mia knows. The way she talks about her brother, it's clear that she loves him dearly, so he can't be half bad. As scared as I am, I'm also feeling very excited by being in here and that's what worries me the most. The thought of being strapped to these pieces of furniture and experiencing these things is terrifying but I'm also fascinated and I can't and don't want to understand why... I need to leave. Turning off the light, I lock the door and head downstairs to replace the keys.

The firewall is finished, the things I chose for this room have been placed round and about, but something just isn't quite right, the room is off. I glance at the hallway opposite and get an idea, if the small bare wall in the hallway was also Red that will balance everything out. Quickly grabbing my things, I head for the hallway set up and begin. An hour later, I'm happy, but still... From the large living room the entrance hall is flanked by two tall thin walls, then the place opens up in to one large space, if they were an off White colour, it would soften it all up. I quickly dig out the Cream paint I used in the library and get to work.

It's getting late now, I have to meet Mia in an hour or so. I reach for the large ladders Gia supplied me with and extend them to full height. I apply a coat of paint to the walls, and while they are drying, I start to gather all my things together. I have a change of clothes with me, a smart dress, I was hoping to catch up with Kate for dinner but she is obviously not home yet, so dinner with Mia and her friends should be fun.

Once everything is packed away, I quickly dig out the sweeping brush and tidy up, by the time I've finished the wall is dry and ready for the final quick coat. Selecting a song, I can get lost in on my iPod, I turn the volume up high and get to work.

With the final brush stroke I sigh, a contented sigh, I'm shattered but God it feels good to accomplish something. This place looks great, feels so much more homey, welcoming and if I say so myself, looks really good... I 'm so proud of myself... Aaaahhh...

What the hell... Why am I in the air? I feel myself falling and a scream leaves my lips. Next thing I know, I am in somebody's arms and my heart has stopped... And I know for a fact that it's... Him.


	7. 7 Thing's That Go Bump In The Night

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx C

Climbing into the elevator, my mood lifts, only slightly but still, it's good to be back. Business has gone well, so well in fact, we are home a day early, but still... Three days is long enough to be away. I ate on the plane, so I just intend to check on a few things Ros has sent over for me, then shower and try to get some sleep. Everything else, can wait until tomorrow.

Stepping out of the elevator, I come face to face with the playroom walls... FUCK... Am I still in the hallway,? I do a double take, but the deep playroom Red, still screams at me, I glare at Taylor, and a curse leaves my throat as I groan, "Shit..."

Taylor looks around just as surprised as I am, we lock eyes and he just shrugs, shaking his head, he know's nothing.

"What the fuck is this? Who has..." I scream. A recent conversation comes to mind. Running both hands, through my hair, my thoughts run wild. I can feel the rage building and I just know who is to blame... Fuck... Mia.

My fist dive's into my pocket, so I can pull out my phone. I start to scroll through my contact's not paying attention to where I'm walking. I vaguely hear Taylor trying to get my attention but I don't react. As I enter the living room I don't notice the ladder until I hit it hard with my shoulder. As I blindly walk into it toppling it over, I curse as the ladder falls, narrowly missing a large glass table, but my voice is drowned out by a surprised scream. I instinctively throw out my arms to catch who has fallen and as contact is made, my heart stops.

The small body, lands softly in my arms and I instinctively need to pull them close... What the fuck... I hear a small relieved gasp, and I freeze. Small hands rest gently on my chest, Cream paint being transferred on to the lapel of my suit jacket, but who gives a fuck. Their labored breathing mirror's mine, both our hearts are pounding loudly in our chests, and I don't know what has happened... But I FEEL IT.

From my head to my toe's, the current that runs through me is overwhelming... I've been electrocuted... Every nerve ending is alive, every hair on my body, is standing up on edge. What the hell just happened?... I drop who is in my arms like their a hot coal, and step away quickly. The small body lands on its feet thankfully, then kneels down and retrieve's my phone from the floor. Without raising their head, it's offered to me. I snatch it from their extended hand quickly, making sure not to make contact.

"Who the hell are you?" I shout, causing the small person swamped in white coveralls and a large white mop hat, to jump. All I hear is a mumbled "I'm sorry" as their hand rises to pull ear phone out of their ears. I start to bombard them with questions "Who?...What..." a small whispered voice interrupts me

"Sorry Sir, but I was hired by a Miss Mia Grey to..." I start to curse, I find I'm not listening anymore, I have my confirmation, now I want them gone. I still haven't seen who I'm talking to... But God... MIA. I turn on my heel and head away to my office but not before yelling,

"OUT NOW...LEAVE...GET ALL YOUR CRAP OUT MY HOUSE...NOW. I WANT YOU OUT OF HERE IMMEDIATELY"

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A

Oh My God... What just happened? I still can't think straight. One minute I'm up a ladder, next minute I'm in the strongest arms I have ever felt. After the first initial fear of falling, I was relieved to land safely, but then... I don't know what I felt. Every part of me tingled when I fell in to his arms, I instictively wanted to just snuggle in but I couldn't breath, couldn't even look at him. My heart was pounding so loudly it over took the music in my ears, until I could no longer hear it or him, but when I did hear him, he was so angry. I could hardly get my words out, never mind look at him, like an idiot, I just concentrated on his shoes, the same shoes that are now splatted with paint. Oh God my legs still feel like jelly, I'm still on my knees on the floor, I don't know, if I can even stand.

"Excuse me, can I help you?" an amused voice asks,

I glance up to see a man in a dark suit smiling, extending his hand towards me, I take it gratefully and rise to my feet, I didn't even notice him. Standing up straight I smile at him, I pull off my mop cap, allowing my hair to fall, and I notice his eyes widen in surprise,

"Are you okay Miss?" He asks releasing my hand, I nod,

"Yes... I'm fine. I'm sorry to still be here, but Mia... Miss Grey... She.." my voice falters, as he smiles widely, shaking his head trying to reasure me,

"It's fine don't worry, Mr Grey will... Calm eventually" a smirk plays on his lips and I can't help my giggle,

"He's really mad isn't he?" I ask sheepishly, " I had better go" I need to go, I can't face him again, not after what I've seen, where I've been. He was so angry.

"No more that usual Miss, but I will help you on your way" he starts to lead me to the utility, no doubt to the safety of the service elevator, but...

"Sorry, but do you mind if I freshen up first?" I ask hopefully, glancing down at the paint I now seem to be wearing and no doubt have all over my face.

"No of course not, I will show you to a guest bedroom" he begins to walk past the kitchen towards the stairs. I follow closely rushing behind him, I grab my bag as I pass the kitchen, and thank him when we reach the first guest bedroom, the one I painted lilac. Once inside, I quickly strip off my coveralls, pull off my shorts and T-shirt, tie up my hair and jump in the shower. I make my shower quick, I cant face him again, he was so angry, poor Mia, he is so mad at her, and the thought of him mad, scares the hell out of me. What I felt, when I fell into his arms, has my thoughts all over the place though... My heart literally stopped, I couldn't move, think anything. Why was that?

Jumping out of the shower, I dry quickly, put on fresh underwear and the dress I brought, I add a little light make up. I brush out my hair, gather my things and head out the room. As I descend the stairs, the man from earlier is waiting, looking up at me his eyes widen,

"Wow... Who would have thought you were under all that paint" he jokes "You look very nice, do you always wear clothes like that under your workgear?" I know he's teasing, trying to ease me I think, he can probably tell I want to bolt, but I blush anyway,

"I'm meeting friends for dinner, I wanted to make sure everything was finished here, before Mr Grey returned... Which I thought was tomorrow by the way, so I came prepared in case I worked late. Perfection can't be rushed you know, but anyway... I'm sorry that Mr Grey isn't happy and I hope he's not too mad with Mia, she meant well and this place looks wonderful now... But if Mr Grey is unhappy, I can always pop back and repaint all the walls to White again..." I notice the man's expression go from awe, to apprehension, in a namo second, and I think I know why,

"All the walls" he questions cautiously, "How many did you do?" I see it on his face, the shock, the dread that the secret is out. I bite my lip and lower my eyes,

"One in every room... Well almost every room" my blush hit's my ears. I glance up slowly and by the look on his face, I know, he knows, I know...

"Don't worry, I won't..." I try to convince but his clipped tone cuts me off,

"Miss... Mr Grey is... A very private man... He..." his voice has now turned athorative,

"Please don't worry, it's none of my business or ANYONE else's what goes on here, I would never..." I try to put forward my discression, and I think he believes me, as his demeanor relaxes and he changes the subject,

"So dinner with friends" he asks,

"Yes... Actually, I'm running rather late, so I really must go" I turn towards the elevator but his words holt me,

"Wait Miss, I will drive you, if you would just..." I interrupt him, I just want to get out of here now, who knows how long it will be before Mr Grey comes back, I don't want to stick around for that,

"There is no need for that, I have a van..." but he doesn't let me finish,

"Sorry but I can't let you ruin that pretty dress in a van, one moment, I will be right back" I bite my lip, fear running through me as he heads out towards Mr Grey's office.

I strain my ears to listen, but hear nothing, Mr Grey isn't screaming or shouting, so he mustn't mind, what I have done in his office to much, but I still need to go. I turn to the kitchen to gather my work things but everything has gone, dustsheets, ladders the lot. The man in the suit returns, alone thankfully and notices my confused expression,

"Everything has been taken down in the service elevator and loaded in to your van, are you ready to go?" he hands me my van keys, as I nod gratefully. He leads the way to the lift. When it arrives and we enter, the uncomfortable silence is deaffening, I try to lighten it,

"So did you have a good trip?" I ask like we are old friends, he sniggers slightly and I can't help but laugh too, "I'm sorry, I couldn't think of anything else to say... Will Mia be okay?" I can't help ask, I see a smile play on his lips,

"She will be fine, Mia is the one person alive, that Mr Grey can't stay mad at, well not for long anyway... But she has pushed it this time... he told her but she never listens... Was she here too?" he asks dubiously and I know what he is getting at,

"For a short while yes... I made sure she never... She thinks it's for storage... I'm sorry that I..." I'm mumbling now,

"No matter Miss..." he states, easing my discomfort,

"Ana, my name is Ana" I offer my hand, he takes it and we shake,

"Taylor" he replies, with a small nod. The elevator reaches the car park and we leave it and climb into a large SUV. The drive is quick and quiet, my mind still a jumble. I feel sad somehow, knowing I will never see that place again, I wish I could have seen his face. The photo's that Mia sent to me, didn't show much, his boat, snapshots of family gatherings, where he always seems to be in the background, never fully looking at the camera, I feel...

"Excuse me Ana, where here... Your having dinner with Miss Grey?" he asks puzzled as Mia approaches the SUV,

I laugh "I was sort of persuaded... I would much rather go home, jump in a hot bath and then bed, but she is rather..." Taylors laughter halts me, as Mia flings open the car door,

"Hi Taylor, Is he really mad at me..." she bats her eyes and tries to look contrite but its not working, Taylor just smiles,

"As always Miss Grey, but for you he will calm, do you want me to pass on any message" he teases, Mia squeals,

"GOD NO... He's already rang me twice, my phone is now off for the forseable future and I'm going to fly under the radar for a while, so you haven't seen me, okay Taylor," without even a 'Hello', she takes my hand and drags me out of the car, towards the resturant.

"Of course Miss Grey" Taylor confirms,

"Come on Ana lets get drunk" she says, her voice full of laughter,

"Nice to meet you Ana" Taylor shouts after me,

"You too Taylor, bye" I shout back over my shoulder, I don't have a chance to say anything else.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx C

Storming into my office slamming the door so hard the wall vibrates, I start to pace. Putting my phone to my ear, I'm angry to find yet again Mia's number goes straight to voicemail. Throwing my phone on my desk, I fume at the sight of a paint smear on the screen and no doubt, I now have paint on my ear... You can run Mia... But you cant hide... God, that girl has got some explaining to do... I told her... OH NO...

I fall heavily into my chair, rest my elbows on the table and drop my head into my hands. A dreaded thought comes to me and I can't breath... The hallway it's the exact same colour as my room upstairs... Has she seen it?... Oh God, does she know? Is that why she won't answer her phone? I'm not due home till tomorrow, so why is she not answering?... She's turned from me, the one person who I truly knew loved me unconditionally, is avoiding my calls... Avoiding me, do I dare call anyone else?... I feel empty, cold, dead inside. shaking my head clear I sit up and reach for my phone.

Biting the bullet, I call my parent's home, only to be told by one of the staff that they are out to dinner with friends. Is it true? Or are they hiding from me too. My breathing quickens and I'm filled with dread, as images fill my head, of my broken Mother weeping into my father's arms, no doubt, being more than just disappointed, in me this time.

Elliot... He can't hide from me, nothing fazes him, plus he's to nosy, he would ask the unthinkable questions and undoubtedly, see the funny side to that room surely...

Taking another deep breath, I pick up my phone, whipe it on my sleeve and after finding his number, I hit the dial button and wait for his response,

"Hi bro... How was your trip? You home safe n sound?" he sound's cheerful enough, no undercurrents. I let out the breath I didn't know I was holding,

"Yes I'm back home, and business went well, thanks" I hear him chuckle, and sigh, I know what's coming,

"Did you make another mill?" my eyes roll, he always thinks it's about the money and ribs me constantly about how much I have, or how much he thinks I have, I'd never tell him, but it's his running joke for him to keep touching this nerve,

"Quite a bit more that a mill Elliot, but hey, you know all business is good business, no matter the monetary value, so long as it keeps people in jobs and in their homes" Elliot chuckles.

"Nar... It's all about the benjamins baby, what's up Christian you wanna get together?" there is laughter in his voice and it would be good to get together, and the relief of finding nothing amiss with Elliot, does cause for celebration, but I need to find Mia first,

"Sorry to disappoint Elliot, but I'm actually trying to track Mia down, please tell me you know where she is,? I need to speak to her urgently, she..." Elliot's belly laugh hits me,

"Oh dear... What's she done?" he's still laughing "I saw her today at Mom and Dads, she was talking about meeting friends for dinner tonight and maybe fleeing to a spar for the weekend if... Event's took an unexpected turn, she was a bit jittery, even more so than usual, so I ask again Christian, what has she been up to now?" I can hear he is trying to control his humor, knowing my fuse is short. I sigh and try and explain how she has violated my home and completely disregard my wishes, TO LEAVE THE HELL ALONE, but true to form, Elliot finds it hilarious, so our conversation is brief.

So Mia is out with friends for dinner... Out with friends indeed... Like she hasn't a care in the world, she obviously has no remorse, for what she has done... I am so angry with her, what gave her the right to do this? She's my sister and I love her, but she has so over stepped the mark this time. Changing my home, putting her stamp on it, letting god knows who, have free run of the place, they could have done anything, apart from clearing me out. I hope she knows this person and never trusted someone from a newspaper advert, god I need to check upstairs and my safe. Nothing has moved or changed in here, I don't think, but the room is only lit by my computer screen, so I can't be sure. OH FUCK IT... My head is going to explode... I will view Mia's destruction in the morning and see what violations this decorator took. I bury my head again in my hands and try to fight my inner fury, as my thoughts once again, turn to the decorator, SHIT...

I can't believe what I felt, when I caught them. Nothing has ever come close to that feeling of warmth, such heat, instantly, it felt so comfortable, so right, instinctively, I needed to be closer... My head is spinning... All the women I've had at my control, not once have I ever felt such a strong pull towards any of them... The only time... The only time that I can recall every really feeling anything... And it's with a guy...

A whimpy weak voiced little guy... OH MY GOD, WHAT THE FUCK... NO... NO WAY... Men have never interested me... NEVER... A lot of the clubs I have visited over the years, have offered every service you could want, including men... Sub or Dom, your choice... Even Elena wanted me to experiment back in the day... But no... Men have never and will never, appeal to me... Until now, it would seem... A quiet voice utters, from somewhere deep inside. I jump to my feet, oh fuck this, I need bed, I'm more tired than I thought... My fucking heads gone west.


	8. 8 Praise To Big Brother

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx T

As my eyes spring open accepting the morning sun, I glance at the clock, 7.30AM. Jumping up out of bed, I strain my ears, to see if I can hear anything breaking from the rest of the apartment. He should be awake by now, thankfully all seem's calm, I sigh and roll my eyes. The boss is going to be well pissed today, I wouldn't want to be Mia, when Grey get's hold of her, I'm so glad I'm out of here, speaking of which. I grab my phone off the bedside table, hitting 2 on speed dial, I flop back on the bed and wait eagerly for the best sound in the world. I smile, as I hear a yawn filled greeting,

"H.. eelll...oo" Gail's soft voice makes my day,

"Morning baby... Sorry I woke you" I whisper into the handset, she perks up immediately, her reply much brighter,

"Jason... Morning to you too, where are you? Are you safe?" she gushes, "I missed you" she whispers,

"I'm fine baby, and God I missed you too. We got back last night... Listen I'm gonna come over soon, Grey has told me to go, given me the weekend off, so I'm jumping at the chance"

"Oh great, how soon?" she has perked up no end, I love it, when she misses me,

"Well I certainly wanna be out of there in the next half hour at least, I wanna get out of here, before Grey surface's" I'm surprised he's not up already, but hey... I ain't gonna wake him.

The shit's gonna hit the fan today, and I don't wanna be anywhere near when it does. Climbing off the bed, I go to the closet pull out my backpack and throw in some fresh clothes. The unpacked case from last night, that is sitting at my feet, can wait till Sunday, time is of the essence here. A Mia and Christian confrontation, is not my idea of fun, so I've gotta run,

"What's happened?" Gail ask's dubiously,

"Mia happened that's what, she made a few changes while we have all been away and the boss ain't happy. He couldn't get hold of her last night, so today is dee-day so..." I hear Gail giggle as she ask's,

"What kind of changes,? she hasn't knocked down any walls or installed a pool has she?" nothing could be put past Mia Grey, she is a force unto herself,

"No nothing that drastic I don't think but, well I haven't looked properly yet, from what I saw last night though, the place looks great, a few walls have been painted, odds and sods scattered around, place looks more lived in somehow, but as I say, boss aint happy. Look I need to hustle, I will be over soon baby" I start to throw on some clothes, I can shower with Gail soon enough, I smile at the image,

"Take some pictures" Gail yell's pulling me out my daydream,

"What..." I mumble,

"On your phone, take some pictures of the apartment I want to see what she's done, I can't wait till Sunday, that place so needed brigtning up. Is he really mad at Mia? What did he say?" the questions start to pour thick and fast,

"Look your holding up my great escape here baby, and if he nab's me, I won't get to see you, so hush, go back to sleep and I will wake you in 20, I've missed you baby" I hear the heat in her voice as she murmurs,

"Oh Jason be quick..." I throw on a t shirt grab my bag and head for the door.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx C

I lay still in bed, keeping my eyes shut, trying hard to keep the beginning of this dreadful day at bay, but as I vaguely hear the elevator sound, I reluctantly open my eyes. Glancing at the bedside clock, I'm alittle shocked to find it's nearly 8AM, my brow furrows, as I try an recall if I woke during the night but to my surprise I don't think I did. I do vaguely recall dreams, of White flash's and ladder's, and feeling very warm, sighing heavily I resign myself for what's ahead... I have to face it today... Mia's interference.

As I roll myself out of bed, I sit for a moment on the edge and put by head in my hands. I can feel the burning desire to rip someone apart rising again, but I must try and calm myself, this is Mia I have to deal with after all. I should probably try and hit the gym, before I actually see her.

Pushing myself from the bed, I head for the bathroom, pulling my T-shirt off as I go. Once my head is clear, my eyes are suddenly drawn to the far side bedroom wall, I halt my strides and stare... The once stark White wall, is now a soft gray, a very pale hue of the colour but it's there, and I don't know why but I'm drawn... The colour works, It takes a chill off the room, I never even realized was there. I glance around and only just realize my sheets are new too, they're the same soft gray as the wall, the bedside lamps have been replaced, there now tall silver based ones, with large black, white and gray striped shades, the room does look good but... NO I DIDN'T WANT THIS... Continuing forward I enter the bathroom rip off my pajama bottoms and throw myself into the shower. As the cold water finally warms, my thoughts build again, how could Mia do this, take over my home, let a stranger invade my personal space, I feel violated and so fucking angry.

Finishing my shower, I quickly dry with what I also notice, is a brand new soft gray towel. I dress in sweats and a fresh T shirt, heading into the kitchen I shout for Taylor, then I remember the elevator from earlier and my insistence last night, that he go and spend the weekend with Gail. I chuckle to myself, he's not soft, he scarpered as quick as he could, he didn't want to be around for this. I can't say I blame him really, me he could deal with, but Mia and I are another matter entirely.

Opening the fridge I grab some juice and a bowl of chopped fruit, keeping my eyes focused ahead of me. I head straight to my office, not wanting to focus on the changes around the apartment, knowing it will certainly rile me again. I know my office is safe, nothing changed in there, at least she had the sense to not invade my office, but as I push open the door I freeze. Above my desk is a large canvas, an abstract painting in many shades of blue, it's hard to tell if it's meant to be the sky or the sea, but instantly I smile, it's very pleasing on the eye. Under my desk, is a large fluffy, sky blue rug, and my eyes roll as I imagine it would probably be really nice underfoot. What the hell, my thoughts are still all over the place... God that girl gets under my skin.

I place my breakfast on my desk turn on my computer and take my seat, and a smile hits my lips, the rug does feel good under my bare feet. Shaking my head clear, I hit my phone to loud speaker and dial Mia's number. Once again, her shrill jovial voice floods the room, asking who ever, to leave a message. Oh I'd like to leave a message alright, but I stop myself and end the call.

Glancing up I see that the wall opposite me is now blue, a soft powder blue, and it instantly draws my eye along the wall to the window. The sky is bright not too many clouds and my office suddenly feels wide open, as if it's flouting along with the clouds. The sky continues uninterrupted in to my office and I feel myself instantly relax... Wow... Who would have thought, a bit of colour could make all the difference. I've never really liked blue, always thought it was a cold colour but in here, this blue works. I can't help but smile, but I still need to show some authority and rant at someone and if it can't be Mia then the next best thing will have to do. Hitting my phone to speaker once again, I dial Welch, he answers on the second ring,

"Morning Mr Grey, what can I..." I don't have time for pleasantries so I dive right in,

"I need you to find someone Welch, a decorator who was in my apartment while I was away, pull the tapes and see what you can find out. I want a full background check, I want them back here, I have no information to offer, Mia hired them but I can't reach her, so find them" I demand,

"How soon do you want the information Sir?" Welch asks and I can already hear him getting to work,

"As quick as you can" I snap and with that, I end the call.

I turn my attention to my computer, log on to work, and get stuck in. Calmly I work my way through, the most important things, but find my mind keeps wandering. I find myself constantly drawn to the blue wall, I notice also that my feet keep involuntary moving along the rug. As a frustrated scowl try's to reach my face, my phone rings. I notice with surprise it's welch and that it has been a few hours, since I last spoke to him,

"Anything Welch?" I ask without greeting,

"Sorry Sir nothing, nothing showed up on face recognition, the trademens register brought nothing up on this person and the van is a hire vehicle, which is still in the Escala car park, it must have only been hired very recently as the paperwork is obviously not up to date. There are no adverts, no contact numbers, relating to this person. I have traced Miss Grey's phone, to a spar on the other side of town, I could..." I interrupt him, angry that I still have nothing to go on,

"No I will deal with Mia another time, I just need to find this man... This..." Welch interupts me this time, a slight amused tone to his voice,

"Man...Sir have you viewed the tapes yourself?" with a huff I answer,

"OF COURSE NOT... That's what I pay YOU FOR" I hear more humor in his reply,

"Well Sir...I suggest you do" and with that he ends our call.

Why in the hell do I need to waste my time reviewing tapes? If he can't find anything, why in the hell, does he think I could? But now my curiosity is piqued.

I head to Taylor's office and on entering, I switch on all of the small CCTV screen's. Reaching his desk, I sit, turn on his computer and after loading up the CCTV control's, I select the time we arrived home last night. All the little screen's shuffle at once and I'm faced with looking at myself once again, shocked by the wall in the hallway.

On another small screen, I see a different view, the back of the decorator standing on the top of the ladder, the ladder falling and their body momentarily being in the air. It's a good job I caught them, they fell from quite a height, I don't need a lawsuit. As the body hit's my arms I see my reaction and can't help pausing the tape, forwarding it frame by frame, I try to read my face. I see shock, revulsion at the close contact then... I can't describe it, I look calm, almost happy... Then my anger again, as I drop the body and leave the room. Pressing play, I'm keen to see what happened next, but what I see, causes me to gasp and jump from Taylor's seat and head to the wall, for a closer look at the screen's.

After I left the room, I see Taylor offering an outstretched hand, to the person still kneeling before him. They take it and once risen, they pull off the big mop cap that was obscuring their face. I notice Taylor's surprise but it is no where near mine.

It's a girl... No a woman... A beautiful chestnut haired, waif of a woman, and my heart beat quicken's. I can feel it in my ear's, and I can't help but press rewind.

After a couple of hours, I have reviewed the last few days of the tape's and I'm totally in shock, no I'm mesmerized. I have seen it unfold before me, the story of her time here, how she changed my home. On arrival I see her awe filled face as she appeared from the elevator, how she felt her way around my apartment spending time contemplating in each room. I wonder what she felt, what she picked up on about me, from her stark surroundings, what she read between the lines about the person that lived here. I watch her fascinated, as she spread colour charts out in front of her on the dining room table, opened catalogues of household items and smiled as she wrote in a small book, she left only to return a few hours later wearing work attire.

I watch as she set's up her work thing's in a corner of the kitchen and sits eagerly awaiting the arrival of the supplies she needs. Two men appear an hour later, laden with paint, ladders and accessories, and I'm relieved to see that they don't linger. She eagerly gets to work, and watching her is a joy, she's happy in her toil. Using an iPod to lose herself in her task of painting, she sings and dances around when off her ladders, placing things around the room and I can see the transformation of my home take shape. I quickly move forward past the time she's not here.

On the second day I notice her notice the locked room at the top of the stairs, my heart stops and I can feel the perspiration hit my top lip. She approaches the door, turn's the handle and isn't gained entry. I let out the breath, my body involuntarily held, with a whoosh. She then heads down the stairs to the kitchen, continues through to the utility room where she finds the keys, Mrs Jones's keys. She heads back to the stairs and starts to climb, I pause the tape... Oh no... She went in... No wonder she didn't look at me when I caught her. I frightened her, sicken her... What must she think of me?... I'm surprised by my own thoughts and reactions, but her knowing this about me, just seems to panic me and I can't think why... It's close to what my reaction would be, if my family ever saw that room, and it's confusing as hell. I resign myself to know my fate and press play.

As she reaches the door she inserts the key and slowly pushes open the door. I see her freeze, her hand flying to her throat and she can't seem to shut the door quick enough. She turns and runs but stops short at the top of the stairs, she sits, putting her head in her hands. She sits stock still, for what seems like forever, she then again rises and heads downstairs, and carry's on working.

I don't know what to make of this, her first reaction of shock was just, anyone would be shocked coming face to face with my playroom but she seemed to calm enough to carry on, and stay anyway. She must think I'm some kind of monster, and I don't know why this would bother me, but it does... A lot.

I don't see Mia till the third day and only then it's a flying visit. Running from room to room, I notice at one point the decorator steers Mia away from my playroom dismissing it. What did she tell her? Mia seem's happy at the decorator's choices, she seems happy though, so maybe things are ok. What does surprise me though, is when I see them hug and kiss goodbye... It must be a woman thing, Mia is very touchy feely, as I know first hand.

Not long after Mia leaves I see a change in the decorator, distraction. She keeps heading to my playroom, then stopping herself, but after a while, she gives in. I see her enter and my heart falls... She is in there for quite some time. My chest is tight as I ponder... What was she doing? What did she think.? I skip ahead until she reappears and I can't read her face, that stupid big floppy hat, has obscured her face a lot over the past few days and now is no different. But when she did remove the hat and I saw her face fully, I was blown away, I still am, she's beautiful...she's...

I can't get enough, I need to see this again. Rewinding the tape's I save certain part's and transfer them to Taylor's iPad, that's sitting on his desk. With it in hand, I leave Taylor's office and press play... I walk in her foot step's... Touching what she has touched... Running my hand over the keys of the piano, following where her's have been. I can't help but wonder if she plays, it held her interest, she even sat down, maybe I could play for her. Christ... Where did that come from? I play for no one, my family occasionally but only under duress. I get pulled along with the tape... Pausing in the places she danced while painting, I want to know what she was listening to. I want to feel her, get to know her, she must have felt me, to choose her colours so well. I need to know what she thought, what she feels about all of this.

I find myself finally, in front of my office. I enter, sit at my desk and prop up the iPad and continue to watch. I try Mia's number once again, but still no joy.

I need to find this woman, I don't know what I would say to her, if I did... But, I desperately need to know who she is. I don't even know her name... I pause the iPad at my favourite bit. The image of the beautiful women, curled up in a dustsheet covered armchair, eating a sanwich, reading a book, while enjoying some down time, is fascinating. Her face... I could stare at her forever, she's beautiful, no wonder my heart stopped when I held her... I shouldn't of let her go, and then it hit's me... Taylor drove her home. I pick up my phone. Taylor pick's up after a few ring's and I can't control my rushed words

"Taylor where did you take her? I need an address, did she..."

"Who Sir?" Taylor interrupts,

"The decorator, the woman that was here last night" I snap at him, pulling what feel like clumps from my hair,

"Sorry Sir, I never drove her home, she was running late to dine with friends, so I took here straight to the rest..."

"What restaurant? Who were her friends?" I can't get my questions out quick enough, please Taylor give me something,

"Sir... She met up with Miss Grey she..." but I don't need to hear anymore. Slamming down the phone, I curse, he has no useful information, Mia still holds the key to my finding her. I can't believe the disappointment I feel, and it's confusing as hell,

"MIA" I can't help but yell, she won't be back until after the weekend at least, spa's and Mia go hand in hand, so I know she will be away for a while. I know she won't be in a rush to see me, not until she know's of my reaction, knows my anger has subsided... Oh hell... Maybe I could get Welch to check the CCTV at the restaurant, he could follow her home... Wait...

Her van... Welch said, it was sill in the car park down stairs, it's 2pm maybe just maybe she hasn't took it yet. Jumpin from my seat, I dash from my office, not even caring my feet are bare and I am still in comfort clothes. I run to the elevator, I'm on pins all the way down, has this thing always been so slow? Eventually the doors open, I run out and my heart plummets, the bays are empty, I've missed her.

Standing just staring, I try to comprehend what I feel and I can't... Why do I feel so strongly about finding her? Seeing her in person, talking to her... I turn to head back to the elevator feeling totally dejected, when suddenly my eyes widen as they fall upon a big pile of trash near the service elevator, it's all the packaging and paint can's from upstairs, I run over,

"Oh please" I mutter, as I fall to my knee's in front of the trash, pulling at the torn packaging tryin to read the labels. I'm finally given a ray of hope... GIA... It's all from her new studio, she must know who she is. Standing suddenly, I run back to the elevator, eager to get back upstairs.

After speaking to Gia I feel exhilarated and nervous too somehow... Why would I be nervous? I don't do nervous, I am a CEO for god's sake... But now I know her name... Anastasia... Her phone number, Gia has her address if needed, but for now her number is enough.

Now what do I do now?... Do I just ring her?... What would I say?... I could thank her for the work she has done here... No she must hate me... Wouldn't want to speak to me... She is probably afraid... Wouldn't of understood... I need to know... I know... Mom can help.

Picking up my phone, I ring my Mother. she will still be at the hospital but hopefully not too busy, I wait impatiently, listening to the endless rings when finally she answers.

"Mom... I need your help... Sorry I'm fine...Yes my trip went well... Mom please listen... I need you to get the decorator in... Yes I am being serious... Mia's friend...I will send you her number... Yes just give her a small job to do... Dosen't matter... Well get her to paint things the same colour I don't care... I know Mom but please for me... Just get her to your house tomorrow, I don't care how you do it, offer her anything... Yes... that's fine... Ring me the minute you have something arranged... I need to go... Thanks Mom... Fine... I will explain later I promise... Goodbye mom" My breathing is heavy, my heart is pounding, and I have only one thought running through my head.

I'm going to see here again.


	9. 9 Keeping It In The Family

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx G

After I hang up the phone, a frown plays on my brow and I can't help but feel totally bewildered. What a strange conversation, why on earth does Christian want, no... Not want... Need me, to get a decorator in,? He was so adamant, desperate even... So unlike himself and where does Mia, fit into all of this?.

Glancing at my watch, I notice I have a few minutes yet before my ward rounds start, so I quickly nip into my office. As I pull out my phone, I jump as a message alert, causes it to vibrate in my palm. Opening it up, I can't help shaking my head and feeling even more bemused, after reading Christian's message.

"HERE IS HER NUMBER CALL HER NOW. 555 2208 INFORM ME ASAP"

Shaking my head clear I call Mia, she answers quickly, hopeful she can shed some light on Chrisitan's strange behavior,

"Hi Mom what's up?" she sings,

"Nothing darling everything is fine, I just wanted to speak to you about Christian, he mentioned a friend of yours a..." her shrill voice vibrates through my ear, causing me to cringe. I quickly hit speaker phone, she really should come with a volume control,

"OH MOM HAVE YOU SEEN HIM... Is he VERY ANGRY with me...did he mention anything to you" she screeches,

"Why would he be angry? What have you been up to Mia?" I can't hide the exasperation in my voice, when will she learn to leave well alone,

"PLEASE MOM, don't be mad... What did he say?" if I didn't know any better, I would swear she's jumping up and down, is she ever still,

"He never mentioned you darling" I hear her very relieved sigh "He only mentioned your friend, he wants me to get her over to the house..." she talks over me screeching further,

"What friend?... Why?..." she asks, I have to make this quick, I have to get back to work,

"I don't know her name darling, but she is a decorator or something, I have to give her a job, get her to the house tomorrow, and he was quite insistent that I inform him..." I don't think Mia is really listening to me now,

"Well, well, does he now..." she starts to giggle excitedly, then shreeks "I knew it... I knew it would change his life..."

"Mia what on earth are you going on about, please explain" will this girl just get to the point,

"Well Mom don't be angry but... You know Christian has been away... Well... While he was gone I..." Oh it all makes sense now, what has she done?

"OH MIA YOU DIDN'T... HE TOLD YOU" does this girl never listen, Christian will be so angry with her, what will her father say...

"Mom... Don't be angry with me, the place looks great, she did a wonderful job, nothing to drastic don't worry... And if Christian wasn't angry when he spoke to you, then I can't be in too much trouble can I... So tell me what he said... EXACTLY, did he mention his place?" her excited voice calms, how can she be so happy? Does this girl have no remorse,

"No he never mentioned your meddling, he was just very insistent that I get this girl somehow to the house tomorrow, what's her name by the way" I finally ask,

"Anastasia, Ana, she's.."

"Oh what a lovely name..." Mia shreeking loudly cuts me off once again,

"Mom, don't you see what this means, he likes her... He... We have to do something, help them to..." Oh no, not more meddling,

"Now Mia, that's quite enough, we can't interfere, Christian is obviously just trying to help the girl..." her clipped tone cuts me off,

"MOTHER... WHEN... Has Christian, ever taken an interest in ANY of my friends, he likes Ana, I KNOW he does, she is realy nice, so Mom we really have to do something" I can almost hear her mind plotting, she will get herself into more trouble,

"Mia you have meddled enough, NO..." she really isn't listening at all,

"Mom you have to invite her to dinner" she gushes,

"What" I almost shout, I can't help my surprise, what is this girl thinking?.

"Trust me Mom... If Christian turn's up at the house tomorrow while she is working for you, then you know I'm right... And if so... You have to invite her for dinner, just play it by ear, see what..." Mia's squeals of excitement are quite contagious but I can't surely, I haven't even met the girl,

"Mia, I am a stranger to her, she won't just accept a din...she would feel too awkward..."

"Mom I will be home Monday, arrange it for then, tell her its a 'thank you' from me for all the work she did at Christian's. Call and invite Elliot, he will break the ice, make her feel at ease. Then if Christian comes on Monday, then we know for sure he is interested... Oh I can't wait" she is so optimistic, and such a romantic it would seem,

"Christian has only just returned home he will be far too busy" I mutter,

"Leave Christian to me Mom, he will be there I bet anything... OH... I'M SO EXCITED... I just new it, I wanted to change his life and it looks like I am" she sounds so hopeful, surely she is reading too much into this, Christian wouldn't...

"Mia don't presume..."

"We will see Mom, just invite her okay" she says adamantly,

"I hope you know what your doing sweetheart Christian can be..." oh I do worry for her sometimes, she doesn't know when to stop,

"Mom don't worry, this will turn out great I promise, now sorry but I have got to go"

"Ok darling, thanks for taking my call, I know your busy, be safe."

"Of course I would take your call Mum, it's only Christian I'm avoiding. Love you Mom, see you Monday, let me know how things go at the house tomorrow, I know I'm right... Bye Mom" and with that she's gone, but a smile lingers, she is totally crazy.

I hope she knows what she's going, Christian will be so angry with her... But she does have a point, he did seem very calm, well sort of, considering what she has done, maybe... We will see tomorrow for sure. I suppose I had better speak to this Ana, she seems to have put my son in a spin, I just hope that's a good thing.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A

My heart was pounding as I left the car park, I have no idea why, it's not like he could see me, but just entering that garage to collect my van, had me shaking in my boots, well Kate's boots. I couldn't get in and out quick enough, now I am safely home, and even here I can't escape him. The Red wall in the lounge calls to me constantly, half of me yearn's for it, feel's close to it and the other half feel's terror and panic. I have so many questions that I will never get answers to. It's hard to accept, I chose this colour for him on instinct, the fact that it mirrors his room upstairs exactly, makes me uneasy. Was I drawn to him on some level that I will never understand? It's a frightening thought, after what I know lurks behind those locked doors... But I have to let it go.

Heading for the kitchen I switch on the kettle, open the fridge and pull out what I need to make a quick sandwich. My stomach is too tied up in knots for anything heavier, I sit down to eat. At that moment my phone rings, grabbing it from my purse, I'm pleased to see its Kate,

"Hi Ana how's it going? Got any work yet?" Kate's welcome voice calms me,

"Well actually... Yes" I state proudly "I have just finished a job in Escala, the penthouse no less..." I smile as I hear Kate gasp,

"Ana Escala is.. That's one of the most..." I can hear the awe in her voice as she falls silent, I just know her head is working overtime,

"I know kate, believe me it was amazing... So big, so open and now it's..." she soon recovers and the questions begin,

"Who owned the penthouse Ana?... I'm trying to think who could... Ana what's wrong?" she asks warily, my heart is pounding just thinking about him, but how could she know? We're on the phone for godsakes, how does she sense my reaction from so far away? I haven't even said anything, she know's me so well, I try to keep my voice steady,

"Well I never actually met him, but it was a Mr Grey, his sister..." her voice rises as she cuts me off,

"CHRISTIAN GREY" I hear Kate gasp, "THE CHRISTIAN GREY, Good God Ana, YOU were in CHRISTIAN GREY'S PENTHOUSE... WOW... God I wish I would have known, I would have blew this assignment off, I would have been your Joey..."

"My what..." I ask with a giggle,

"Your Joey Ana, you know, your dogsbody, an extra pair of... God Ana, I can't believe it... He is one of the most influential people in Seattle, he has fingers in every pie... Well... He own's most of the pie's, but god Ana... Christian Grey, I have been trying to interview him for years, even while we were still in college I..." her voice faulter's, she's speachless, that's a first, but sadly not for long, "So how did this come about? You only just..." and here she goes turning into lois lane,

"I don't really know Kate, it was so quick, I just happened to meet his sister..."

"Mia?" Kate butts in,

"Yes Mia... She came into one of the studio's you recommended, while I was there, and the next thing I know I have free run of her brothers apartment. I was pretty much able to do anything I wanted, so now..." but she's off again, I want to tell her what I've done, but I don't there's a hope in hell, of her letting this bone go,

"Ana this is CHRISTIAN FRICKEN GREY... And you were roaming around his apartment, changing... You've got to tell me... What was it like? Was it amazing? That building is... Wow, Mom n Dad looked at an apartment there... Oh a few years ago... But the penthouse must be another world..." her luxury tangent stop's suddenly and I know what's next "Spill Steele NOW... What secrets is he keeping? A man that powerful, must have a bedroom full of skeletons, not just a closet..." God her instincts are good,

I nearly choke on my tea, my whole face heat's, it's a good job she isn't here to witness this. I'm saved, as my work phone starts to ring, another good point made by Kate, have a separate number for business, full of relief now I compose myself,

"Sorry Kate, but my business line is ringing" I giggle, "It could be important"

"Good God Steele, it could be another job, maybe he has recom... Oh Ana your the decorator to the Seattle Elite, I hope you remember me when your all famous an stuff" she jokes with a belly laugh,

"Oh Kate... Don't be silly, I've done one job, granted a great job, but still... look I have to go, I better take this call"

"No worry's Steele, call me tomorrow definitely... I'm in the air again for most of today and meeting's most of the weekend, but I will be home Monday. We must go out and celebrate your new career... Oh Ana, they are calling my flight gotta run, speak soon hun, love you" and my inquisition is over, thankfully for now... What would I have told her?... The still ringing phone grab's my attention again. Oh I nearly forgot, grabbing the phone, an unknown number is shown, taking a deep breath I answer.

"Hello Anastasia Steele speaking, how may I help you?... Hello Dr Trevelyn... Yes that's correct... Of course I can help, let me just take some details... What is it, you would like doing?... That's fine... When?... That soon, no it's fine... What is your address?... No but I will find it... Do you have materials? or should I... No that's fine, you can speak to Gia and arrange for the materials to be delivered to you before I arrive, I'm sure she can recommend colour choices... Well thank you Dr Trevelyn... Oh just one question... Do you mind if I ask where you got my details from ... Mia is your... No it's fine... I'm so glad she's happy... I will see you tomorrow then at 11am... And thank you once again... Goodbye."

I drop the phone, that was... HIS MOTHER... Christian Grey's mother... Mia has... Oh god... What if he is there tomorrow? That's crazy... Why would he be?.. Mia mentioned they never see him, so I don't think it's likely... But what would I say if... Maybe I should phone and cancel... No work is work, I can't afford to turn work away.

I can feel the panic rising, God pull yourself together Steele... I haven't even met him... Well not properly, he probably has a crew of painter's at his place right now undoing all the work I did... He wasn't happy... He couldn't possibly know that I... Why an I so worried about seeing him? I don't even know him. God I need a distraction, I wonder if Kate would mind if I painted her bedroom? Tomorrow is going to... Oh I will face that bridge when I come to it.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx C

While I wander aimlessly around my apartment trying to curb my erratic thoughts my phone rings. Digging it eagerly out of my pocket, I am more than relieved to see it's my Mother. It's only been a short while since I called her, maybe it's bad news, maybe the girl was too busy... What must My Mother think of me? I hesitantly answer the call,

"Hello mother... You did... Oh that's... What time?... No, No, I am far too busy... Well I just wanted to help with... Of course not Mother... Okay well Thank you... You've been a great help... I am rather busy, so I need to go... I know Mom, thank you, goodbye"

My mother think's I'm crazy... She seemed a bit suspicious, about why I asked her for this... But I don't care right now... She will be at my parents house tomorrow at 11am... So do I go?... What if she...

I'm driving myself crazy, I have been rattling around this apartment all day it's unnerving. I see her everywhere I look, I can feel her, her warmth... Her... Why am I even feeling like this? it's so alien, so unsettling... She probably hates me... Her reaction earlier today, prove's she is wary of me, and I don't know why, but I don't want that.

After I spoke to my mother at the hospital, I just had to look over the garage CCTV that cover's the parking bays, and half of me wishes I didn't... When I saw her earlier rushing through the underground car park collecting her van, I could tell she was nervous. Her mannerisms were so different, from when she was here freely, doing her job, she... I must repulse her, she must be...

I can't get her out of my mind, I found myself earlier on sitting in the armchair, as she had, looking at the view, trying to sense what she must have thought, and I couldn't... I don't know her at all. I haven't even heard her voice... Said her name out loud yet... But hopefully I can change that... I will go... Tomorrow meet her with my mother... She will feel safer with someone about surely, I... I hear my phone sound... Thank God... A distraction... it is going to be a long night...

A/N THANKS FOR READING, PLEASE REVIEW ;))

FB...DCOLIVER FAN FICTION.


	10. 10 Asking For Help

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A

After a better nights sleep than I thought possible, especially with all that was playing on my mind, I pull up in front of the most beautiful house I have ever seen. Before I even have a change to even appreciate it, the front door swing's open, and a well groomed looking lady approaches me, smiling broadly extending her hand. I take it nervously and we shake,

"Hi... You must be Ana?... I am Dr Trevelyn Grey, but please call me Grace, do you need a hand with anything? I can get..." she look's toward a man stood in the doorway of the house, but I shake my head declining her offer,

"No it's fine, this is only a small job, so not much is needed, I can manage" I start to take the thing's I need, out of the back of the van. She turn's, nod's at the man in the doorway and he disappears back into the house, she smile's at me. She seem's lovely "Thank you anyway" I flush slightly nibbling on my lip, I hope to god he isn't here...

"Not at all, my pleasure, you have come highly recommended, not just anyone can please Mia" she laughs softly "So she has convinced me, that the firewall in the dining room, need's attending to... So please follow me" still chewing my lip and trying hard not to drop my things with shaking arms, we head for the house.

We enter the house and it's beautiful, warm homey, even in the harsh light of day, it's welcoming, full of love and I'm keen to see what I have to do, this place seem's perfect.

Entering the dining room, we head for the firewall, and I can't help but get a strange feeling and instantly visualize it now being red, my breath catches and it doesn't escape her,

"Are you ok dear?" she ask's with a slight frown, I smile,

"Yes fine... What colour have you chosen?" I ask, eager to begin, so I can get out of here,

"Well Mia suggested Red, she was very impressed with what you did at Christian's apartment, but I think that might close the room up a bit too much, what do you think?" she look's at me, awaiting my answer,

Totally against, having to use that colour again, I quickly agree "Yes your right" glancing around, taking in the room, my thought's flicker, "Do you intend to hang anything on the wall?" I ask,

"Well yes... I have a large painting that sit's above the fire, it is quite dark in colour"

"Well then you could use a rich cream, something warm, it will contrast well in here with the forest green walls you have now and give a neutral background for your painting" I look expectantly, awaiting her agreement,

"That's sound's wonderful, Gia sent over a variety of colour's, they are just outside, in a cage near the garage" I nod and turn to head out,

"Would you like a drink? Coffee, tea... Something cold? This must be thirsty work" she laugh's trying to ease me, can she feel my tension. I'm really trying to contain it, but she's a Dr after all, so can probably read my body pretty well,

"Tea would be nice, English breakfast if you have it, if not, something cold would be just as good" I blush slightly, god only know's why, but I get a really strong feeling, that she is being overly nice, and also that I am being watched much more closely, she nod's and smile's,

"How do you take your tea?"

"No milk or sugar, and with the bag out please" I look at her and her face show's amusement, she giggle's as she say's,

"So you want a cup of hot water?" she jokes,

I feel myself redden as I return her smile "Technically yes" I giggle,

"Okay coming right up" she leaves the room and I can't help but like her, she seem's such a nice lady, her son must be... NO... I haven't got time for daydreaming. The sooner I start, the sooner I finish, I go off in search of paint,

I head outside, this place is amazing, but I still feel uncomfortable being here, like eyes are on me constantly, I suppose that comes with the territory of the job, but I still can't help feeling it's more. I hope he doesn't know that I'm here, I need to get this finished as soon as possible. Thankfully, I notice Gia has sent over a good selection of neutral toned paint, she had the same idea. Grabbing what I need, I head into the house. After setting up, opening and mixing the paint, loading my tray I begin, I start to climb my small ladder, to begin cutting in the paint at the ceiling line, when I hear Grace enter the room,

"Here's your tea dear" she walks towards me, carrying a small tray containing two cups, I step off the ladder, place down my tray and accept the cup from her, a bit dubious of the second cup,

"Here, sit before you start" she offer's hopefully, gesturing to the dining table, and I realize I would like to, she's lovely, I smile,

"Thank you, and thank's for the tea, not many people have this hiding away in their cupboards"

"My housekeeper share's you taste's, but she doesn't take it quite so pale" she notice's my quick dip of the bag, and we can't help but laugh. I feel at ease with her, she seem's really nice, the idea of bombarding her with the endless question's I have about her son, hits me, but I soon bat that idea down,

"This is a lovely room, so welcoming..." I blush, saying the first this that enter's my head,

"Well thank you, we like it and it gets used quite a bit, so where happy" we both lift our cup's unsure of what to do now, a short silent sit's between us. I'm biting my lip, so that I don't let my need for information about her son embarrass me, she feel's it to, I think, so open's the conversation,

"Mia said you have worked wonder's with Christian's apartment, how did that turn out? I have no real detail's from Mia, I am keen to see the change's you have made" she sip's her drink, looking at me over her cup,

Blushing slightly, I can't help but gush "Oh I didn't do too much really, the place was wonderful anyway, I just felt it needed... Warming up a touch... Mia had her own ideas, but I used my own instincts and judgement, and used the colour's I felt the place needed... It felt lonely somehow... So I tried to change that, Mia was happy but I'm not too sure about Mr Grey... Not that I..." I flush, stutter and grab my teacup as a distraction, realizing I have said way to much, and once again here eye is sharp, as she notice's my reaction,

"Don't worry about Christian dear, his bark is much worse than his bite" she joke's, eye's gleaming,

"But he seemed so mad, I hope Mia isn't into much trouble, she meant..."

"She will be fine, Christian has a very large soft spot, for his over bearring and meddling sister, so please don't worry, Chrsitian must be very happy" she is trying hard to be reassuring. We're both quiet for a bit, I quickly try and finish my tea, she can sense my nerves I think, noticing I am eager to rise but before I can escape she engages me again,

"Was there much change needed at Christian's apartment?"

"No not at all, a few touch's of colour, a few accessories, on the whole the place was great" I hope he think's so too,

"Didn't you mind rattling around Christian's place by yourself? You weren't put off by the size?"

"No I didn't mind being there on my own" and it just dawn's on me, that not once did I feel alone either "I felt safe there somehow" I look up blushing, god what a brain to mouth malfunction, Grace just smile's sipping her cup, but her eyes are wide.

I never realized you were supposed to spend so much time with the customer, but if it help's her feel more at ease, that's fine, she is letting a stranger into her home after all. she does still seem a bit reluctant, to let me start working,

"So how did you become a decorator? What other job's have you had?" she breaks the silence again,

I am not sure what to tell her, god, this is only my second job, but the truth feels right,

"Well to be honest... And don't hold it against me, but your son's home was my first job" I bite my lip, her eye's widen and I don't know if it's disappointment or shock, but thankfully I can allow myself to smile, when she laugh's heartily,

"Well you have certainly landed on your feet, when I spoke to Gia earlier she sang your praises, Mia was very happy with Christian's place, which reflected well on her, so she is a very good contact for you to have, you should do well. I wish you lot's of luck in your new career" she nod's her head approvingly, I feel I can breath easy,

"Thanks" I stand, she follow's suit,

"Now I will leave you to it, just yell if you need anything" and with that she remove's our crockery and leaves the room, a wide smile on her face, that I can't help return, turning to the wall I finally make a start.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx G

As I leave the dining room, I can't help turn round to glance at Ana from the doorway. Watching her plug in her iPod and start to climb the ladder, paint tray in hand she start's to sing softly to herself. I sigh and wonder if Mia is right about Christian's interest, I can certainly see why he would be interested, she's seem's lovely. I turn, cross the hall and enter the kitchen and as I do the breath leaves me. Christian is standing in the kitchen, leaning on the main island looking lost at the box of Tea bags I dug out for Ana, he doesn't notice me as I enter the room,

"Christian what are you doing here?... Christian..." my voice finally reaches him and he frown's slightly, looking at the box in his hand, as he place's it back on the counter, before mumbling,

"I was just passing, so thought I would..." he approaches and I greet him, standing back I look at him, he never just drop's by, I wish he would, he's always so busy, so maybe... Just maybe... Mia is right,

"Christian are you going to explain to me why I have a woman painting my dining room at your insistence?" a thought occurs "Christian how long have you been in here?" I can't help ask, I notice him flinch slightly,

"I have just arrived" he states firmly, but I notice the slight blush and his agitation, just like when he was a small boy caught lying to his father. I contain my grin,

"Why is she here Christian? Not that I mind, she has a good eye and the dining room will look better for it, but..." he cuts me off, rushing his words slightly,

"Mother, I was very satisfied with what she did at Escala, so I wanted to make sure she was kept busy" I notice his agitation, still trying to fight through his hard perfected demeanor, "All tradesmen, or women, need to build up a porfolio, what better way to head that, than with recommendation's from two of the most..." his voice is authorative, but I'm not fooled,

"Christian be serious, it's Saturday... Why the insistence for urgency? We could have done this anytime..." I notice is hand's running through his hair, a sure sign that my guess is right,

"Mother I don't know... I..." I can't help but react to his apprehension, as Mia's thought's and optimism come's further to mind, I try to ease him, stepping toward's him closer, I gently rub his arm, he look's down at me, eye's wide,

"Do you like her Christian?" he seem's so lost, but then... He has never done this before, he has never brought anybody special home. No rumors of relationship's, I've never even seen a picture of him entertaining in the press, he need's this, he so deserve's to be happy. My heart bleeds, as I watch all sort's of emotions he can't control, flash across his face... Then he's back, the cold, hard CEO, that he hide's all of his insecurity's behind, the hurt and loneliness I know he feels, can never be hidden fully. I cheer inwardly knowing that Mia is right... Once he's composed, I feel him stiffen, I step back, his eyes soften,

"No mother I..." his soft voice mumbles,

"Christian... Come in and meet her, say hello, I will introduce you both" I look at him hopefuly but he stiffen's further and I know he feel's nervous, no matter how deep it's hidden. He look's at me and his eyes look so sad,

"No Mom... The last time we met I... I was so angry, I think I scared her... I don't want her falling off her ladder again, no matter how small these one's are" he look's sheepish, a very, very rare look, for Chrisitan, and my eyebrows raise. How does he know her ladders are only small?... He's been watching her, I knew he was lying, has he been here the whole time? I smile inwardly and decide to let that go for now, trying to lighten thing's I pick up on something else he said,

"Falling again Christian?" he frown's and shakes his head slowly,

"Never mind Mom... Mom would you... Would you talk to her..." his eyes soften, he steps forward and takes my hand's, such a rare gesture, and my heart wrenches. I so feel for him, I have never seen him like this before, so I need to help him,

"Of course dear... What about?" he look's at me so unsure of what to ask, but his face is so eager,

"Find out if... If I scared her, I screamed at her I... She must be..." his voice drifts off, he is just staring now at our joined hands. I have never seen him this out of sort's before, the cold hard CEO has well fallen away. In second's he is the boy I know, asking for thing's at Christmas he never thought he deserved... Oh when will he believe? I start to rub the back of his hand, looking him in the eye, I whisper gently,

"Of course Christian... Don't worry, stay and I..." he interrupts,

"No, I have to go Mother, I don't want to upset her...she's working I would only..." he shrugs, and looks resigned,

"Fine, I will ring you later" he turn's to leave but has second thought's. As he reach's into his pocket, he turn's back around and step's closer to me, doubt swimming in his eye's,

"Mom would you give her this?" he hand's me his business card for GEH, and I notice he's wrote his personal phone number down on the back along with a time of 11am. My eyebrow's lift, this is so not him, "Just give it to her Mom, when she finishes, but only if you think..." his face is torn, my face soften's and he realizes he is giving too much away, I sigh as his demeanor changes, as he collects himself, the negotiator is back, "Just tell her there is another job available if she want's it" he shuffles slightly on the spot and I think he is thinking about more than work, "Tomorrow my office... Tell her I want her to paint my head office, the same as my office at home... Exact same colour" a small smile is on his lip's, this means something to him,

"What colour was that Christian" I ask lightly, he looks into my eye's as he answers,

"Blue, powder blue" he seem's calmer now, but his anxiety is still there. What if she won't go? he would be so disappointed,

"You do realize that it is Sunday tomorrow, let the girl rest" I try to joke, but the look on his face make's me think, that even tomorrow isn't soon enough for him. He lean's in to kiss me goodbye, I willingly hold up my cheek. He kiss's me swiftly and squeezes my shoulders gently, trying to show his thanks, I wish he would just hug me, or allow me to just hold him, he needs the comfort. But as always he step's away. He quickly turn's to leave, but as he does, I stop him,

"Christian" he looks back at me, a slightly scared look to his face "Everything will be fine... I will talk to her, but I don't think you have anything to worry about, she seem's fine, you didn't scare her too much, I'm sure" his eye's widen hopefully, "Go Son... We'll talk later, I love you Christian" I tell him truthfully, he smile's widely for the first time,

"I know Mom, Thanks I..." he shrug's looking a little uncomfortable and marches out of the kitchen.

Maybe... Just maybe... Mia is right... And a little meddling is needed.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx C

As I drive away from my Mother's house, I can't seem to calm my breathing. I pull over and notice my hands are still gripping the steering wheel tightly. What if she won't come tomorrow? Maybe I should go back, have mother introduce us... I need to meet her... But no I can't... I feel so out of control right now my mother would surely notice, if she hasn't already that is. What would I say?... I sigh heavily and rest my head on the steering wheel.

From the minute she arrived, I was transfixed. I got to Mom's early, parking at the side of the house out of sight, waiting eagerly until she arrived. Once she entered the house, I then slipped into the kitchen, ignoring the strange glance's, I was getting from Mom's housekeeper.

I hid in the place I use to, when I was a child and needed to hear Mom and Dad talk about me, when I needed reprimanding. God I still felt like a child, but I didn't care. I so needed to hear her voice, it was soft, musical, beautiful, and her giggle... I was so thankful Mom was chatting to her, making her feel at ease. I could see her tension as she drove in, but Mom helped open her up... When I heard her talk about Escala, what she thought what she felt... I was hanging off her every word, she said she felt safe, was that as true after she saw my playroom? I hope so... I so wanted to meet her but I couldn't.

In the last 24hours, this woman has soaked into every pore of me, seeped in deep and I don't think I would of been able to control my need to touch her If I was close to her. I have so many questions, so many things I want to say...but I can't frighten her further, I need to talk to her alone... I so hope she comes tomorrow.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A

I step off my ladder and reach for the fan, just then I feel a presence behind me, I look up quickly and relax when I see it's just Grace. She approaches smiling, looking very happy, I hope it's because of the wall, but I feel it's something more,

"How you getting on dear?" she looks around approvingly,

"Fine, I just need to let the fan's do their job for half an hour, with going over such a dark colour, a few coat's are needed but it shouldn't take long, I was just going to go and sit in my van and eat some lunch" I see her eyebrows lift,

"There's no need for that, please share lunch with me, my husband just called he is still caught up, so won't be coming home, I would enjoy your company, so please join me" she ask's hopefully and I find that I want to,

"If your sure" I question,

"I'm very sure" and she gently rub's my arm "Come I will show you where you can wash up,"

Unzipping my white's, I step out of them, thankfully, I am wearing jean's and a not so skimpy T. I follow her into the hall and she leads me, to a down stairs cloak room. After nipping the loo and washing my hands and face, I quickly head back to the main hall way. The man I saw earlier appears, he smile's,

"This way Miss Steele" and jestures with his arm, for me to enter a corridor. Heading down the corridor, I notice lot's of other room's each lovingly decorated and attired. At the end of the corridor, it open's out into a lovely sunny glass morning room, full of wicker furniture and large potted plants, it is a wonderful space,

"Come Ana sit down" Grace is seated at a small table near the window, I reach her and sit down,

"More tea?" she offers, I nod, she nods down at the table, "Please help yourself, you must be hungry?" in front of me is a selection of sandwiches and finger food, I dig in as best I can, I'm still uneasy but you do work up an appetite, with a physical job,

"Mia has been on the phone" she looks at me, a slight flush hit's her cheeks, "She want's me to invite you for dinner..."her face fall's slightly, as I blurt out an attempt to refuse,

"Oh I couldn't possibly..."

"Mia insisted, said she wanted to really 'Thank you' for cheering Christian up ..." I tune out a little, as a thought cross's my mind. I thought Mia was going to avoid Christian? How does she know he's happy? She must of given in and spoken to him. He probably pesterd her to death, or sent his right hand man to retrieve her from the spar. I glance up and flush, as I see Grace studying my face,

"Please Ana... Mia would really like to thank you" she simply states but I have that feeling once again, she is trying to say more,

"But I couldn't possibly intrude, I could meet Mia in a rest.." my voice falters, as she talks over me,

"You wouldn't be intruding Ana, honestly... Mia suggested Monday night, she is home then so..." I tune out again, as my thoughts start swirling. She's inviting me to dinner, what on earth do I say? Half of me would love.. oh..

"I'm so sorry... but I already have plans for Monday evening" I say gratefully, sighing with relief,

"You do?" she seem's so disappointed, I nod,

"Yes, my room mate Kate, has been out of town, and well... She is home on Monday, so we have arranged to go out to celebrate..." I flush "My new found career" her face light's up,

"Well, what would be a better way... Than having dinner, with your first, two very satisfied customers" she gushes, this is getting weird now,

"I am sorry, but I couldn't let Kate down, she..." I try to turn her down again,

"Bring her with you" I raise my eyebrows, she really doesn't want to let this go, is Mia that hard to say not to? Or do they always open their home to relative stranger's? I don't know what to say now, our conversation has bantered back and forth, like a tennis match and I don't really know, where I stand now,

"But" is all I can manage,

"It's fine dear honestly, the more the merrier, Mia love's to make new friend's just look at you" she smiles openly, I can't help but smile back. I did enjoy my night out with Mia, she was fun, loud, but fun, I don't think I could party with her all the time, I thought Kate could... Grace's voice pull's me from my thoughts,

"Shall I tell Mia, you can be here Monday night, she will..." I don't know where it comes from, but before I can stop myself its out there...

"Will Mr Grey be here?" biting my lip I hold my breath, and glance up at Grace, her face is warm her eye's soft,

"Have you met him Ana?" I know my face is on fire, so I look away,

"Sort of... But it didn't go very well" the heat is still in my cheeks "He knocked me off my ladder" I hear Grace gasp, so I quickly continue "He caught me though...I" my voice drifts off.

At the memory of that physical contact we shared, my mind goes blank. I notice Grace smile and the glint in her eye gets brighter, "He was so angry, I couldn't even speak... I felt..." I halt my words quickly, I have said way to much... Again,

"Don't be afraid of him Ana... As I say, his bark is much worse than his bite" she places her hand on mine, which I am nervously wringing in my lap "Ana... Christian is good man, if you look past the hard, business man, exterior, there is a good man buried in there, a kind hearted man. Granted he has a temper... But for those he cares about, he... Well he is my son... So I am biased of course... But..." she flushes, and I know she is now worried, about having said to much herself.

I can't help my smile, and I feel a bit better. Knowing that the good man, I thought I felt in that apartment, is in some ways true. No matter what that room may mean to him, be a part of him, he has a good family behind him so...

"Please Ana come to dinner... Christian won't be here, and Mia really would like to see you again, please feel free to bring your friend, your both more than welcome" and I can't help my nod. I feel I need to make her happy and for some strange reason, I know this does. She smiles brightly, happy in herself,

"Okay, thank you... Now I think that wall will be dry, so if you don't mind I will just carry on, thank you for lunch" I stand, smile and head out of the room, wondering what the hell just happened. She is as persuasive as Mia, I can see where she gets it from, shaking my head I reach the dining room.

The wall is finally covered and drying, it does look good, works well. I notice the painting that hang's there, leaning covered in bubble wrap against the opposite wall and yes it will look good hung up. I have gathered my thing's, loaded my van, written out an invoice and I am now standing in the hall, waiting for Grace,

"Hello... Grace..." I call out, she appears from a room close by,

"Are you finished dear?" I nod and she pops her head into the dining room before reaching me, she nod's, "It look's wonderful, thank you"

"You're very welcome" I say as I hand her my envelope, she places it on a nearby table not even glancing at it. She approaches me cautiously, playing with something in the hands,

"Here" she step's to me and hand's me a small business card, a small pale grey business card, for Grey Enterprises Holding. My heart pounds and my breath hitches, Grace pretends not to notice. I turn the card over in my hand, it has a number and time on the back, I look at grace and she read's my puzzled expression,

"Christian asked me to give you this... He has a job for you, tomorrow, if you want it... He will understand, if your prefare not to work on a sunday, but he thought it best, with no staff under your feet" I feel her willing me on, I try to speak and can't. I open my mouth to speak so many times I must look like a demented gold fish.

My thought's are everywhere, why would he?... "It seem's you have impressed him, he mentioned wanting the same colour, that you used in his home office, in his main office at Grey House" I still stand there shocked, even more so now, he liked it, he understood, he...

"What colour did you use?" she asks quietly,

"Blue" I whisper, then find my voice, "Sorry... Blue, a soft powder blue" I'm still just staring at his card in my hand, I raise my eye's, when I hear Grace's soft chuckle,

"What is it?" I can't help ask with a frown, she just shakes her head softly and smiles,

"Nothing dear... Look... I'm keeping you, think about tomorrow, 11am at that address, Ana it will be fine, don't worry and don't forget to charge him double time" she joke's with a reassuring smile,

"Thank you grace" I mumble,

"No, thank you dear, it has been a pleasure to meet you, I will hopefully see you on Monday" she smiles warmly and we shake hands as we part, but I swear she would have hugged me, given half the change. My thought's are still scrambled, as I leave the house and attempt to drive home.

Half a mile down the road I have to pull over, my thoughts are to distracting that I should not be driving,

My head is resting on the steering wheel and I breathe deeply, trying to calm myself. I let out a scream and jump in my seat, as my phone starts to ring. Pulling it from my bag, I sigh, relieved to see its Kate,

"Hi Ana, how's it going? I'm definitely home Monday, everything has gone great here, so nice early flight home..." she gushes, as I interrupt,

"Oh Kate, I'm so sorry... I have sort of been talked into going for dinner on Monday night I... I'm not sure though... What if?... She said he wouldn't but what if he is? What if he?..." I'm mumbling now, not even making sense, to my own ears,

"Ana what the hell's wrong with you? You sound all over the place, what's happened?" she shout's urgently,

"Kate... Well I got another job and now they have asked me for dinner... And Chrisitan Grey has given me his card, he want's me to work at his office tomorrow and..."

"Whoa back up Steele, Christian Grey want's you to what..." she asks,

"Paint his office... But I don't know if I should, what if?..." I don't even know what I'm thinking, never mind saying, but Kate has her opinion obviously, she shout's, clearing my head slightly,

"Most definitely go Ana, hey I have a file at home on him, dig it out and memorize the questions, that I have had out lined for him... since forever, there is also a little recorder..." I gasp, unable to truly tell, if she is joking or not, god I hope so,

"Kate I couldn't possibly... I" she laugh's easing me,

"I'm joking Steele... Look start at the beginning, you're still not really making much sense"

I take a deep breath and try to clear my head and make sense of all of this, "Well first, I did Mr Grey's apartment, them Mia told her Mom, so I have just finished working there... As I was leaving, she informed me that Mr Grey, wanted his main head office painting, just like his home office so... No I can't... Kate the place will be empty... It's Sunday, what if..." the thought of being alone with him, fills me with dread, I so want to meet him, but I don't think I could, I...

"What on earth can happen Ana? Go stay professional... You obviously impressed him so..."

"But Kate he can be so... I can't be alone with him" I hear her huff,

"Of course you can Ana, what could possibly happen? Look... I know where you are, if you have not rang me, after a certain time, I will send in the national guard, how does that sound?" I hear her amusement and I can't help my giggle, as I know Kate probably could get them to swoop in, "But Ana, where does Monday night fit into all of this? Who has asked you to dinner?" her tone is more than a little bemused,

"Well that's just it... It's his Mother... She..." a gasp leaves her, causing me to smile,

"What Dr Grace Trevaylan Grey have invited you to dinner... On Monday night... And your really considering turning them down... God Ana, if they had..." her voice is loud, shocked,

"They said I could bring you, I try'd to explain you were home and that I have plan's with you, but Grace didn't want to take no, for an answer... What should I do kate?... Do you want to go to dinner at the Grey's?..." I jump and pull my phone from my ear as I hear Kate Yell,

"FRICKEN HELL...YES...".


	11. 11 The Perfect Blue

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A

As I pull into the Grey House, underground parking lot, I catch my breath, and just stare at the lone sports car, parked in front of me, it has to be his. Pulling along side it, I giggle nervously, our vehicles are like chalk and cheese, just like us. I sigh sadly, he's a mega CEO, who owns this amazing building, I'm a painter with student loans, who lives very cheaply, with her wonderful roommate. I breathe in deeply and lean back in my seat trying to compose myself.

Since six this morning I have been watching the clock, dreading this, I am still undecided whether to actually go up there or not. It's only 10.40am, I still have time to run, but I can't understand why I would want to... Well, I do... He could so easily, have another one of those room's, hidden away in this building, and I may never see daylight again... But still...

I don't really know where my head is at... I don't know him, he was a customer, who seem's to be satisfied with the job I did, and he has hired me to carry out more work, that's it. My head know's this... But my body and feelings say different... I can't really understand what all of this means, he's a stranger to me, I probably wouldn't know him if I fell over him in the street. I still haven't had the nerve to google him, I have a vision, a feeling of this man, that I don't want to disappoint with reality, but I know... For a fact... That if I did fall over him in the street, I would definitely feel him...

When I fell into his arms, my whole body reacted to him, good or bad, I felt a connection. One I have never come close to feeling before and I don't know how I feel about that... I wonder if he felt it too? I doubt it... He let go of me pretty quickly, but still... If he didn't, that's only a good thing right?... I can just get this job done, no complications.

Also, with having the nerve to go up there to his office, I will finally know... Finally get to meet him, see if I was close to the person I envisioned in his home... See if he feel's anything to.

As I finally step out of the van, to face this head on, a voice call's to me "Miss Steele" my heart leaps into my throat, turning quickly, I physically sag, as I find it's just security,

"Yes" I manage to say,

"I have been asked to assist you, to the express elevator with your thing's" he gestures to an elevator close by,

"Thank you" I dig deep into the back of my van and pull out what I need. With my arms laden, he takes my ladders and we head on over to the elevator. I take a deep breath, as he places my ladders inside then steps back out, I enter the elevator and smile my thanks, he nod's lean's in and presses the button.

"Someone will help you out Miss Steele" he says with a polite nod. He stands back, as the doors begin to close my stomach flips.

As the elevator climbs the panic starts to bite, can I stop this thing? Maybe send it back down? I glance at the elevator control panel, I sigh... I have to do this, it's just a job. A quick job, if his home is anything to go by, white is such an easy colour to paint over, but still, I have to physically be there. Kate said stay professional... I can do that.

Second's later the elevator stops, my breathing Quicken's, my legs feel weak, an I still feel the need to run. The door's slide open and I see him, the back of him, he's about ten feet away, and I can feel the pull towards him. I instinctively step forward, as I do, he turn's to face me... Our eyes lock and I'm lost, he is beautiful... Mad word for a man I know, but still, it's the only one that come's to mind. Nothing else would do him justice, gorgeous doesn't even touch him. He's tall, well built, his eyes are... He's beautiful... There just is no other word.

His eyes hold mine as he steps forward, his hand outstretched, my hand also lifts, and I notice his face seems to hold the same stunned expression I'm sure mine does. I don't think either of us is breathing, with our eyes still locked, we both move forward and when our hands touch we both feel it.

There's no doubt, the pulse that radiates through my whole body, causes me to gasp slightly and I notice his eyes widen. He blinks, shaking his head clear, as a smile plays on his lips... Oh his lips are full, soft looking and I have a sudden urge to...

"Miss Steele Thank you for coming on such short notice" I vaguely hear from a distance. I'm totally mesmerized by his face, but now that our eyes are no longer locked, I can start to take him all in. As I feel the pressure of his hand leave mine, I come back to my senses.

I notice he step's past me, to take my ladders from the elevator. "I will take those" his voice almost sings, and with our eye contact, finally broken I can almost breathe again. Taking a deep breath, my mantra kicks in, you can do this, stay professional, professional all the way. Squaring my shoulders, as he comes back beside me, without looking at him, I find my voice,

"Thank you Mr Grey" I take in the large reception area, white, immaculate, powerful. It's kind of eerie, seeing it barren, all the desks vacant. Ahead of me are two large impressive ornate doors, which can only lead to his office "If you could please show me what you would like me to do, I would like to get started, you must be a very busy man, so I don't want to keep you" I try to sound professional, his eyes widen slightly, as a nervous look hits his face,

"Of course Miss Steele, right this way" he steps forward, heading towards the doors and with the ladders in one hand, he opens them swiftly, ushering me before him,

As I cross the threshold, I stumble, tripping over my own feet, but thankfully I manage to stay upright. I blush, at his chuckle and right myself quickly. The space before me is grand, open, with another spectacular view, but it feels different from his home office. There are no lost feelings here, just total control, and yes, the blue, would work so well in here, and I can't help my smile,

"As you can see Miss Steele, this office is also, in need of a touch of colour" we walk on further into the room and he opens up my ladders for me and stands them near the wall,

"Thank you" I say as I place my dust sheets down on the floor. This is going to be so hard, how do I function,? I can't be distracted, I need to keep my distance, I need my iPod,

"Your welcome" he utters, holding my eye again, he has an unreadable expression on his face. I can't get lost again, forcing myself to break eye contact I head over to the window, now happy with the distance between us,

"Where would you like your colour Mr Grey?" I state, scanning the room, stay professional Ana,

"You choose, I trust your instincts and judgement" he says with a flurish and I flush recalling a conversation I had with his mother. He notices my blush and smiles, his eyes slightly sheepish,

"The paint was sent over, so please work your magic" I flush, smile and stop breathing all at once. He really must like his office at home, should I ask him? NO... I have to stay professional. It's hard enough trying to breathing around him, never mind trying to think enough, to have a conversation, so all I can do is nod.

GET IN, GET DONE, GET OUT, that's my motto for today.

He moves closer to me "Miss Steele I have a few things to do, would you mind if I worked at my desk? Or would you prefer to work alone? I don't want to disturb you" he stands tall, proud, waiting for my direction, but I don't think he really want's to go. I don't want him to either, I want him near me, even if it is just to look at, because I sure as hell can't speak, but I must... Stay professional, stay professional, my mind ticks over,

"Mr Grey, surely I should not be disturbing you, it's Sunday, your... Please feel free to work, I will try to be out of here as soon as I can" I step back further extending the distance once again. Somehow, we keep getting pulled closer to each other, which does not help my need to stay focused.

"No problem Miss Steele, take your time" his voice sounds hopeful, he turns and heads over to his desk, glancing at me often. Oh, what I would give, to know what he is really thinking.

As he sit's behind his desk, I see it, the powerful CEO who controls everything, this whole building and god knows how many others, all yield to him from this very office. The strength of this man, the weight he must carry, the room that he... My face burns, WHY?, OH WHY?... Did that image have to hit me now? I was so sure I had found the man I envisioned from his home, now it's tainted again with images of that room, and my head start's to jumble. He is studying papers on his desk, so I quickly turn and head away, no, no, no, don't start thinking down that route.

GET IN, GET DONE, GET OFF.

Taking all of my self control just to stay standing, and to keep my eye's off him, I approach the wall opposite him and lay out my dustsheets. Noticing the tin of paint not too far from my ladders, I gather all my work gear together. Unzipping my work bag, I pull out my white's, step into them an zip them up, I pull out my mop cap, twist up my hair and pull it onto my head, I pop on my iPod, turn it up loud and begin.

I have been working for about half an hour, cutting in the paint lines, when I feel his presence behind me. Catching his movement, out of the corner of my eye, I step down from my ladder. Pulling out my earphones, I turn to face him,

"Yes Mr Grey?" I ask, he has an amused look on his face and I realize I was probably singing, I feel the heat in my cheeks rise,

"I was wondering would you like some refreshment?" he offers seeming very eager. I haven't even been working that long, surely it's too soon for a tea break? But he is the boss after all. He's looking squarely at me, eager for my reply,

"Thank you, that would be nice" I automatically respond, it seem's to please him, as he smiles widely, it even reaches his amazing gray eyes,

"What would you like? Coffee... Tea" his eyes widen "We have English Breakfast" I see a glint of excitement in his eyes, I smile,

"A tea would be lovely, thank you" he steps back, looking very pleased with himself,

"I will just be a moment" he breathes and he turns and leaves the room. I just stare after him... Wow... Tea with Mr Grey... He knew my tea, Oh dear... I hope he hasn't been talking to his mother.

I return to my wall, pick up my roller and try to work off some of my nerves, till he returns... Fat chance of that.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx C

As the door closes behind me, I feel it hit my back, as I stop short, to take a few deep breathes. I can't believe she is actually here.

Since ten this morning, I have been glued to the parking lot CCTV, when I saw her van finally enter, my anxiety fled. She came, she actually came, does that mean she's not afraid? I never frightened her, that my Mom was right.

I saw her doubt though, as she sat in her van, so I had security herd her up here before she could bolt... And here she is, beavering away in my office, and I'm about to make her tea... Tea, I don't even know where we keep the kettle. Rummaging around the small staff kitchen, I find what I need and open the box of tea bags that I bought on the way here this morning. I noticed her brand at my Mother's and didn't want her to get thirsty... Who are you trying to kid,? You're trying to impress her... What with a tea bag... God I'm so cheap... But I can't help my smile or my chuckle, as I complete my task.

Walking back into my office, I see she has covered quite a bit of the wall, but my hope's fall... It's not right... Not now. I place the tray, containing our cups onto my desk and turn to watch her. She's humming softly to herself but I can't make out to what, she has concentration to her face and is chewing on her bottom lip. I find myself mirroring her actions and have the sudden, almost overpowering need to hold her, shaking my head clear I walk over to her,

"Miss Steele" I tap her gently on the shoulder, she jump's spinning round, tripping over her own feet yet again. She topple's but I catch her steadying her upright, and there it is again, the dead man walking buzz, from my head to my toe's I feel her. Her eyes shoot up, lock with mine, and I know that she felt it too. I sigh gratefully, knowing this isn't all one sided after all, that I'm not totally crazy, she felt it too, she feel's it too.

"What" she gushes slightly flustered, staring into her gorgeous blue eyes, I whisper "I'm sorry Miss Steele, I never meant to scare you" or will I ever want to scare you, not again... Reluctantly I remove my hand, she steps back "I'm sorry Miss Steele but the colour isn't... It's too dark now, just a shade too dark, it has to be lighter, I'm sorry" she bites her lip and a worried look flit's across her beautiful face, but she soon composes herself,

"That's fine Mr Grey, but this is the colour you requested, the same blue I used at home... I mean your home... Sorry" she flushes the most beautiful shade and pink and chews on her lip yet again and I have to distance myself... I want to touch her, hold her, kiss her... Oh to kiss her, even now in those unflattering clothes she's beautiful, but I have to keep my distance, but she referred to my home... As her's, It must have been more than just a slip?, oh I hope so,

"I know Miss Steele and I can only apologize, but maybe if we lightened it just a touch, a shade or two, then it would be right" I see her confusion, so I smile to reassure her,

"That's fine Mr Grey, I will just have to nip out and pick up a tin of white..." oh no you don't, you're not going anywhere,

"No need Miss Steele, I will have security bring one up from maintenance, I..." shit... I see a skeptical look appear, as she must have realized in a building this size, of course there is a staff that covers all maintenance including the painting, but I wanted her here, and I think she has just realized that. Holding my breath, I watch carefully as her reactions change, confusion, awe, and then a small soft smile, as she blushes... She know's and she doesn't mind... Well that's a good start,

"That would be most helpful, thank you Mr Grey" she utters, I return to my desk, push a call button on my phone for security and order up what she need's. She's busy when I turn back around, and I just watch her as she places her used tray into a large plastic bag and wrap's it up, she then pulls out a fresh tray roller and a small brush ready to begin again. I can't help noticing her apprehension now though, as she has nothing to do, I don't want her to feel uncomfortable, suddenly I remember her tea,

"Please won't you take a seat Miss Steele while your waiting, enjoy your tea" I softly lay my hand on her back, reveling in the heat, any contact will do. I lead her over to the chair opposite my desk, and hold it out for her,

"Thank you Mr Grey" she sit's down and I hand her, her cup, she grin's as she notices the brand... Yes.

We sit together, a silence building between us, I have so much I want to say, bombard her with, find out about, but I start light,

"I apologize for my behavior the last time we met Miss Steele, I was shocked, it was..." she looks at me remembering our encounter, and her face heats once again. I want her to forget that memory, then she smile's,

"It's fine, Mr Grey, I should not have been there so late, I didn't expect you back until the morning, I should be apologizing" her eyes are wide, and her breathing is heavy,

"Not at all, you were only doing your job, and what a good job you did" I want to tell her what I felt, I want her to tell me, "I'm very happy with what you did" her face brightens, she's all wide eyed, as she starts to reply,

"Oh really?... I'm so glad, I..." she's cut short and my face fall's, as there is a loud rap on the door, and Jenks from downstairs walks in holding the tin of paint. He places it down on the dustsheets near the wall, God his timing sucks...

"Anything else Sir?" he asks nodding politely at us,

"NO" I snap and he leaves the room hastily, I notice her flinch "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you" shit... I have to control my temper, or she will definitely bolt,

"It's fine, Mr Grey" she mutters, but I'm not convinced. She seems smaller somehow, I think she has withdrawn just a little. She feel's scared, oh hell... She sip's at her tea, her eyes cast down, shit now what? What can I say to reassure her? To bring her back. I think I could have got her talking, if we hadn't of been interrupted, and it sadden's me to realize, that the moment has passed,

"Thank you for the tea Mr Grey" she places her cup back on the tray and rise's from her chair. No, please stay, I want to scream but I can see she is eager to finish, to get out of here, to run, oh fuck...

I just nod with my unsmiling face, trying hard to keep my new emotions at bay, she smile's slightly and turn's away. I watch her fascinated, as she open's the tin of white paint and add's an amount to the blue, once mixed, she fills her tray, ready to begin agaim. She plug's her iPod back in, a clear indication, that she does not wish to be disturbed. My chest fall's, I feel utterly miserable. One word... One snapped word, and it was broken, the connection, the comfort we sat in... She will never trust me now.

I watch transfixed, as she starts to paint again, at the opposite end of the wall. She adds a touch of paint and look's over to me for approval, I look at the wall, then at her a few time's, looking deep into her eyes. I smile and nod 'perfect' I mouthe, she smiles and eagerly carry's on. My eyes don't leave her the intire time. She start's to sing to herself, every now and again, then stops herself, as she remembers she is not alone, and I can't stop my stupid grin.

The piles of paper's sat on my desk, that needed my urgent attention, are still untouched. I have spent the last two hour's glued to this women's every movement, she is painting a wall, nothing more, but I can't tear myself away. My mind recall's when I saw her leaving my apartment with Taylor, she looked stunning, in her dress, hair down, fresh faced, ready for her evening. She was beautiful, but even now, with paint on her cheek, stray strands of hair falling out of that silly hat, she's mesmerizing. I have never felt like this... Just watching her is enough... No... It's not, I need to do more. I begin to stand but she turn's suddenly and blushes, biting that glorious lip, as she catches me blatantly staring at her. She pulls off her iPod, "All done" she states proudly, and I laugh softly,

"It look's wonderful Miss Steele, thank you" and I see her stand a little taller, she enjoy's my praise, well... "Would you like a hand clearing away?" I offer, any excuse to interact with her,

"On no Mr Grey, that's not necessary" she smile's and turn's, starting to gather her things. No, she can't go, I haven't even really spoken to her, I don't want her to go, but within minutes her tray's are bagged up, her sheets are folded and everything is bagged away. She unzips her white's, step's out of them and pull's off her hat, and I feel my jaw drop. She is only in jeans and a T-shirt but she looks amazing, she start's to stack her thing's by the door, and after seeing her in coverall's alday, I've forgotten how graceful she moves, how can I stall her?.

"Is there somewhere I could just wash up?" she asks, surprising me a little, I was still locked into way's of trying to keep her here,

"Yes of course" and I point to a door behind me, she nod's her thank's and enter's my private bathroom. Within minute's, she out and heading to the door, oh please don't go, I haven't even said your name yet,

"Would you like another tea before you leave?" I ask hopefully, she smiles but shakes her head, leaning down to pick up her work gear. She really can't get out of here fast enough,

"No thank you Mr Grey, I have taken up enough of your time" she heads for the door.

I can do nothing but follow, walking out of my office she carry's what she can, but once again I help with her ladders. She press's for the elevator and I know I haven't got long, "Miss Steele would you... Would you like to have Coff... Tea again sometime?" what an I doing? Even to my own ears I sound desperate, her head spin's to me, slight shock on her face before the blush takes over. I want to run my finger's over her cheek, feel the heat on her skin, I feel my hand start to move but thankfully I'm holding her ladders, she shuffles slightly, oh please say yes...

"I'm sorry Mr Grey I don't think that..." she's biting her lip again, and I can't let her go, not like this,

"Maybe dinner sometime... Tomorrow maybe...?" she shakes her head again, looking slightly terrified if the truth be known, no...

"I'm sorry Mr Grey...I already have plan's for tomorrow evening" she almost whispers, of course she does. She's beautiful, she probably has a boyfriend, but Welch never found anything, then I notice sadly, that she can't even meet my eye now,

I nod feeling dejected and as the elevator arrives I can do nothing but help her in, "I will see you down" I offer hopefully, anything just to spend a few more minutes with her, but she shakes her head again,

"It's fine Mr Grey, I can manage" she mutters softly as she enter's the elevator, with all of her thing's now with her, she extends her hand to the button. I take a quick step inside, I just have to touch her one more time,

"Thank you Miss Steele, it has been a pleasure to meet you" I offer her my hand, it's been more than a pleasure... Please don't go... She take's my hand, the spark's fly and her eyes meet mine and we both just stare. Are eye's are saying far more than I think we ever could, but it's not enough, she still want's to go. I see her shake her head slightly to clear it, and she composes herself,

"You too Mr Grey, thank you for this opportunity, I will pop an invoice in the post" she smiles up at me, as I feel her hand loosen, I reluctantly let her's go. Stepping back, the doors start to close her soft beautiful voices reaches me for the last time "Good bye, Mr Grey",

"Good bye Miss Ste... Anastasia..." but the door's have closed and she's gone... And she also said no... I feel gutted, no other word works, all the wind is knocked out of me, part of me has been ripped away, and is following her down. she didn't want to stay, and all I can do is give in to my misery that has washed over me in a tidalwave. I head back to my office slump in my chair and stare at the now blue wall.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx T

"Move Jason, I need to see" I laugh heartily, as Gail pushes past me to rush from the elevator. I forgot, in my haste to flee the battlefield, to take the photo's she asked for, so she has been keen to get home all weekend. She stop's short and turn's to me, eyes wide with shock and surprise,

"Jason it's... It's red... It's the same as..." I just raise my brow's and nod slowly, she smiles and starts towards the main room, eyes everywhere, "This place look's great, it feels so different... Oh Jason look" Gail point's to the kitchen and giggles, I knew she'd like the kitchen. She turn's suddenly "Why hasn't he changed everything back? As much as I love this colour, I wouldn't of thought Mr Grey would be too keen" her eyebrows knit as she wait's expectantly,

"Don't know baby, but it was Mia after all, so looks like she got her way, yet again... I've gotta see this," I turn and head to Greys office,

"See what? Where are you going?" Gail asks, looking confused,

"I'm just gonna double check Grey isn't in his office, then I'm gonna see what's been going on around here, I gotta see Mia kicking Greys butt" I add with a laugh, as I head out towards the office,

"Oh Jason, he..." I spin round and stand to attention and try to keep a straight face,

"Gail as head of security I have to know what dangers we face" my face falls, I can't help laughing, she roll's her eye's but laugh's with me,

"I'm going to put on some laundry, then make some lunch, so you have twenty minutes, then I want your butt back out here to eat" she heads off into the utility,

"Okay baby" I mutter after her.

After sticking my head in Grey's office, I head for mine. His looks good, and I can't help another laugh. What in the hell, did he make of all this? He would have imploded, waiting to get hold of Mia, so I gotta take a peak. As I enter my office I switch on the monitors and my computer, once the screen's load up I notice they're all frozen, realizing there paused on the day's we were away I can't help but let out a curse... Shit he's got it bad, clearing half the screen's I set them up to replay this weekend, and what I see make's me gasp... Fucking hell... Bad ain't the word. Gail bump's down into the chair next to me, offering me a coffee and a plate of sandwiches which I gratefully take,

"Was it brutal" she giggles, I shrug, unable to speak with my mouthful, I just nod toward's the screen but don't take my eyes from Gail. I watch as her face freezes, then her jaw drop's slightly, her eyes widen and her cheeks flush. Without taking her eyes from the screen's, she finally speaks, "Jason what's he doing?" and I notice she's still transfixed by the images,

"Everything she did, by the look's of thing's... Look" I pause the tape's, clear some screen's, then run the section Grey saved to my iPad, then I run the weekend tape of Grey. She just sit's there stunned, watching the two adjacent images, mirror each other,

"Jason he... He must like... She..." she's still too stunned for words but her face is starting to beam,

"Right there with you baby" she glances at me and giggles, she is seeing what I'm seeing, a totally different man. Four years, four years I have worked for this man, and have never seen him like this. I glance at Gail, she turn's to me all bright eyed

"Has he met her? Has she been back here over the weekend?" god she's lovely, she so want's this for him, I hate to disappoint her,

"Sorry baby no, but..." her face sadden's, then her eyes go wide,

"Where is he Jason, Where's Mr Grey?" she asks urgently,

"Not sure baby, but I can find out" it only take's minutes to track his car to Grey House and log in with the CCTV. The security logs tell me, that Grey has been there since 10am, so I pull up the tape, "He is at Grey House, look" and there he is, sat at his desk looking lost and totally miserable. I hear Gail gasp and she grabs my hand,

"What's happened Jason? He look's so sad" and I notice her eyes well up. I rewind the tape and we watch, him eager, her arrive, her busy, him lost, he made her tea, fuck me... She painted the wall, the same as here, what's that all about? and shit...

I pull my hand away as Gail's sharp nail's, break the skin "Sorry Jason, look.." I glance up from rubbing my hand, and oh shit... He's in bit's, fuck when she left it killed him, it's all over his face "Oh Jason she mustn't of... She left... She didn't like him..." I hit a couple of buttons and the elevator appears,

"I wouldn't be too sure baby" and she gasp's then giggle's at the image of Ana in the elevator, she is definitely in the same boat, I swear she's hyperventilating...

"Oh Jason, what shall we do..." she look's at me hopefully,

"Do.. We do nothing Baby, we know nothing... Have seen nothing... But we better prepare... You got any mac n cheese?".


	12. 12 Getting Comfortable

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx C

The sound of my phone ringing, drag's me away from the sleep, I have only just found. Rolling over, I grab blindly for my phone, without even opening my eye's, I take the call "Grey" I moan,

"Good morning Christian" Mia sings. Oh No... That's all I need,

"Hello Mia... Did you enjoy your weekend?" I murmur, as she giggles, I'm really not in the mood for Mia's merth right now,

"Really Christian, that's all you have got to say to me? 'Did you enjoy your weekend'... Where is the wrath of Christian I have been avoiding all weekend?" she's laughing openly now,

"Oh Mia not now, please" my voice sounds dead, talking to Mia remind's me of her, and I can't deal with that right now,

"What's the matter Christian?" I hear the concern in her voice but I can't tell her,

"I haven't slept much I..." I mutter,

"Christian are you ok?" she sounds genuinely worried,

"I'm fine Mia, just tired" I brighten my voice to ease her concern and she is soon distracted,

"So did you just lllloooove my birthday surprise" she wail's loudly,

"Yes, thank you Mia, it was very thoughtful and I'm very pleased thank you" I automatically respond,

"Christian have you banged your head?" she giggle's,

"Of course not Mia, listen, I have to go" I don't need this. I want to try and find sleep, hopefully dream of Ana, as she has overtook all my other dream's of late, when I'm left to sleep that is,

"Mom said you have been keeping Ana busy" Mia asks eagerly, oh Mia, please don't,

"I gave her some work, yes... I was pleased with..."

"Oh Christian you can't fool me... You like her, just admit it... How did it go yesterday? Mom said..." she sounds so hopeful, and I can't help my groan,

"It didn't Mia... I... Can we talk about this later? I'm..." oh just go Mia please,

"Christian..." she command's,

"I asked her out to dinner tonight... But she turned me down, okay ... Said she had other plans" god my voice sound's depressing, even to my ears. Our meeting was a disaster,

"Did she now... Look Christian, why don't we get together tonight? And you can tell me all about it" Mia asks, God, that's the last thing I need,

"I couldn't possibly Mia, I'm far too busy..." I try and refuse,

"Come on Chrisitan... Come to Mom and Dad's tonight, have dinner... It will cheer you up... I promise" she sings, I doubt that very much Mia...

"No thank you Mia" I state,

"Mom would love to see you..." she whispers, trying to play the emotional blackmail card,

"I said NO Mia" god she doesn't give up, but there is no way I can face my family, especially my Mother,

"Are you sure" she drawls,

"Very" I snap,

"Definitely?" she sing songs playfully,

"Yes" I sigh,

"Even though... Ana is going to be there" she whispers with a giggle,

I shoot up in bed wide awake now,

"WHAT TIME?" I demand.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A

As Kate pull's into the drive of the Grey family home, her whistle of approval makes me laugh, "God this place is amazing Ana" she breathes,

"It's even nicer on the inside" I joke, I feel a bit better about doing this, now that Kate's with me. We had a good chat, I cleared my head, I told her about yesterday, the connection I felt between us, how he asked me out to dinner, and she was stunned, happy, but stunned.

She assures me, she has my back if he make's an appearance. Half of me want's him too... But the other half is terrified. It was so hard yesterday trying to keep my distance, to not look at him, to turn him down. God, I didn't even want to leave, never mind say no, but I couldn't concentrate being that close to him. It's not just that though, when I heard him snap at the guard, I had a glimpse of the powerful angry man and put that side by side with that strange room he has, he scares me.

We step out of the car, and head for the house, Kate is fluffing her hair, straightening her dress, I can just about walk, and not only because of Kate's heel's, my leg's feel like jelly. I quickly scan the other car's parked out front, just to make sure, there isn't a super sexy sports car anywhere among them, and let out a sigh of relief when I don't see one,

"You ready for this Ana?" I nod "Good... Let's go in have a nice meal and meet some nice people, if anything happens or whatever, we can go okay?" I nod again. Before we even reach the front door, it swing's open and Mia lean's out grab's my hand and drag's me in, I hear Kate's shocked giggle,

"Oh Ana, it's so good to see you" she hug's me tightly and glance's at Kate "Hi I'm Mia... You must be Ana's room mate" she releases me and step's around me to greet Kate,

Kate step's forward offering her hand, but Mia once again hug's her greeting, stepping back she ushers us into the house further. I can't help but glance around nervously and I'm sure Mia notices. A smile play's to her lip's and I catch a glance between her and Grace, who has now just stepped into the hall, with whom I'm presuming is her husband,

"Ana dear, nice to see you again" she lean's in and hug's me too, it must definitely be a family thing, well among the women anyway. As she pull's away, I move to stand level with Kate,

"Hell Grace, this is my friend Kate" I introduce,

"Nice to meet you dear" she offer's her hand and Kate eagerly accepts it,

"You to Dr Trev..." she interrupts her,

"Please call me Grace" Kate beam's, the connection to the Grey's, will do wonder's in her line of work, so she's happy,

"This is my husband Carrick" she introduce's us and we all shake hand's,

"Good to meet you both" he say's politely,

"Come, let's take you coat's and get you a drink" he walk's into the dining room followed by Grace,

Mia hovers waiting, "You look wonderful Ana, I love that dress, oh Kate... Those shoe's are to die for" I can't see the appeal myself they're just clothes. We take off our coat's and give them to the man I saw here on Saturday, I smile

"Hello Miss Steele" he politely respond's, Kate's eyebrows raise, I think she's impressed that I know the staff.

As we all head into the dining room, I suddenly hear a man's laughter from the dining room, I freeze as I catch Mia's eye, she smile's wickedly,

"That's my brother... Come and meet him" she squeals and start's to drag me into the room. I look back at Kate who just smile's, god she's no help but as I enter the room, my erratic heart beat slow's. I see Carrick talking to a man, who most definitely is not Christian, Mia giggle's,

"Ana, this is Elliot my brother" and I see a twinkle of mischief in her eye's... She knows, he walk's over, as I offer my hand,

"Hi Elliot nice to meet you" I utter politely,

"You to Ana, great job" he grin's and he nod's towards the wall, I flush forgetting about that,

"Thank you" I smile, as I hear Kate cough from behind me, bringing her to Elliot's attention and his eye's light up,

"Well hi... Who do we have here?" he head's for Kate, hand outstretched, she blushes, wow that's a rare sight, Mia introduces them,

"Elliot, this is Ana's roommate Kate" they step toward's each other and shake hands but don't let their hands part,

"Well hello... Kate" Elliot drool's and I notice Mia's excitement, as Kate visibly melt's,

Carrick come's over offering drink's, which we all accept. Well it look's like Kate and Elliot have hit it off, as I notice him leading her over to the dining table to sit down. As I look around the room, I notice Grace talking to her housekeeper, as she leaves she turn's to the room,

"Dinner will be served shortly, so please take a seat, anywhere will do" I catch Grace's eye and she smile's warmly, such a lovely woman. I glance at her beautifully laid table and gasp slightly as I see it set for seven... Oh no. I look at Grace, she just smile's softly her face full of reassurance. I notice her glance at Mia, who just grin's so wide, that I just know... Oh No.

I close the distance to the table, taking hold of a chair for support. I notice Kate and Elliot are already seated next to each other deep in conversation, well flirting really, who would of thought. I smile as I notice Carrick head the table with Grace to his left, next to me and Mia to his right, next to Elliot and Kate, the empty place setting is next to me. Would anyone mind if I swapped Places I wonder, as Grace sit's down she squeezes my hand "You look very lovely dear"

"Thank you" I mumble,

"Your friend seem's nice" she nod's toward's Kate and we both glance at them smiling. I know she is trying to reassure me and it's starting to work but then I notice her glance at the clock. Maybe he's not coming and I relax a bit, as more wine is served and the conversation flows, I get more confident that he won't show, but then, I hear the large front door slam shut and I know that he is finally here.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx C

I have been sitting outside the house, for over half an hour now and I can't wait any longer. I need to get inside, need to see her. I climb out the car and head inside. Mia thought it would be best, to let Ana settle first, once she's seated and eating she can't really run can she? I hope her logic is right.

As I enter the house, I hear conversation coming from the dining room, it sound's like thing's are going well. I take a deep breath and prepare myself to enter. God, I hope this goes better than the last time we met or the time before that, for that matter, it surely couldn't be any worse.

Hopefully with friend's and my family around her, she will feel more comfortable and I will be able to finally find out who she really is... Hear her converse... Maybe even talk to her properly. I square my shoulder's and head into the room. As I walk in all eye's are on me, all except her's, I deflate just a little and I think my Mother notice's,

"Christian what a surprise" she stand's walking over to greet me, she lean's in and kiss's my cheek, then stand's back while I step forward and shake hand's with my Father, I hear Elliot shout "Hello" without even looking up, he is too busy with a blonde, who must be the roommate Mia mentioned. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice that Ana still hasn't looked up from her lap, I glance over, just as she look's up, her face is flushed her eye's seem wary... Oh no she disappointed I'm here, just then Mia come's running from the table,

"Oh Christian, I'm so glad you could make it" she throw's her arms around my waist hugging me tightly, I hug her back and place a kiss on the top of her head. She steps away and glance's at Ana, who flushes... God she's beautiful. "Come Chrisitan let me introduce you" she grab's my hand and lead's me away from Ana, around the table to Ana's roommate. NO... Wrong way Mia, I curse internally. As I approach Ana's roommate, she stand's nervously but soon square's her shoulder's, looking me straight in the eye,

"Christian, this is Kate" Mia informs me, I shake her offered hand,

"Kate Kavanagh, pleasure to meet you Mr Grey" she shakes my hand confidently, her name sounds familiar, but I can't place her,

"Likewise Miss Kavanagh" my brow furrows "Sorry, your name just seems so familiar"

She smiles, "I have been harassing your office for the past couple of years, for an interview with you, my father owns Kavanagh media" she states proudly, shit a reporter, but she's Ana's friend, so maybe I can use this to my advantage, allow her the interview, please her, make Ana happy... Mia pulls me away, saving me from a lot of questions no doubt, we head back around the table,

"Christian I want you to meet my friend" I roll my eyes, turning towards Ana,

"We have already met Mia" I catch her eye, as she bites her lip, flushing slightly she stands nervously as I approach,

"Nice to see you again Miss Steele" I breathe, oh you have no idea. Looking into her eyes I sigh heavily, she's more beautiful than I remember,

"Oh Christian, so formal" Mia giggles,

"Christian, this is Anastasia" I smile, my eyes wide and I extend my hand, eager for her touch,

"Anastasia, this is my brother Christian," as she takes my hand we both gasp at the contact. Mia of course doesn't miss it, she jumps squealing "Oh this is gonna be, such a good night", she runs back around the table, to take her seat. I notice my Mother trying to grab her hand but Mia's to fast, I notice Ana tremble slightly, so I extend my hand back to her chair,

"Please Anastasia, take a seat" she sits eagerly. As I tuck in her chair, my hand brushes her arm. God what I feel, from just the briefest contact is unbelievable. She felt it to I notice, as her breathing quickens, and her cheeks flush and I can't help my smile,

"Thank you" she barely whispers, not even looking at me. As I take my seat next to Ana, I notice my parent's eyes are on me, my Mother is smiling hopefully, my Father's eyes are wide in shock. Mia is still giggling, staring blatantly. Dad whispers something to Mom, and I internally cringe... Oh this is gonna be a long night,

As the server appears topping up glasses, I gratefully take a drink.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A

For the past hour, it has taken all of my self control, to just stay in my seat. I can feel him next to me, it's like a plasma globe, the sparks fly all down my right side. He's been polite, asking me everyday questions but he wants to say more, I can feel it but I can't really think straight, and don't want to embarrass myself with stunned silences, when our eyes lock, or incoherent replies to his questions,

Turning away, I try to converse with Grace but I still see him out the corner of my eye and I'm sure he hasn't taken his eyes off me. I notice Kate and Elliot are engrossed with each other, Mia chatting freely keeps the conversation moving. Grace and Carrick, are wonderful hosts, the food and wine are amazing, and after a few glasses of wine, I find my nerves go and I relax a bit. Grace excuses herself to deal with something in the kitchen and I have no safety net now. I slowly turn to face him, his keen eyes are on me, a smile plays on his lips, my eyes linger there until I hear his soft voice,

"So Anastasia" he purrs, oh the way he says my name... I'm sure he is doing it on purpose. I feel every syllable and quickly sit up a little straighter, trying to pull myself together, it really wouldn't be a good thing to just melt right here,

"Call me Ana... Please" I barely manage to get out,

"Ok Ana" yes much easier to hear, "Have you any more work?" thankfully an easy question,

"Not yet, I was thinking..." I hear Elliot laugh, as he interrupts me,

"You soon will" I flush brightly, as Elliot pipes up "Ana, Christian has over a 1000 offices, he will have you run ragged," I blush and recall how I would upset his maintenance team, which he no doubt has. As I look at my hands in my lap, I hear Elliot groan, as Kate elbows him and they both giggle. Grace now back next to me, senses my nerves and lightens the mood,

"Ana did a wonderful job here, the room feels so much warmer, I would..." but Christian interrupts loudly,

"You should all see what she did to my place, now THAT looks wonderful," and he looks around the room proudly, and I can't help but beam, he likes it, what I did, he seems proud of... Why? I notice both Kate and Elliot roll their eyes and chat again laughing together like two naughty school kids. Grace and Carrick share a look but I can only see the back of Grace's head, so I'm not sure what's going on there, but Mia is obvious, she squeals and claps her hands beaming at me,

"I knew it... I knew it Would be a good idea, I'm so glad your happy Christian" she reaches over the table to touch Christian's hand. I notice him flinch, looking a bit uncomfortable, and I think she is talking about more than just paint. Grace distracts her then, trying to ease Christian I think, his discomfort is evident,

"Come help me in the kitchen Mia" Mia's brow furrows, does she even know where the kitchen is?, I turn to Christian leaning in to him, I notice him relax,

"Are you sure you really liked everything? There is nothing you want me to change?" I ask apprehensively, I need to know, if all my colour choices worked,

"Not a thing" he smiles turning towards me further "Well, maybe one thing, but I think Mrs Jones would have something to say about it" his eyes widen and he smiles the most glorious smile. I return his smile feeling totally at ease, eager to hear more. I find myself turning into him, engrossed in every word he says.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx G

I don't know what has happened around this table, in the last few hours but the change I have seen in my boys makes me smile. Elliot seems keen on Kate but that's Elliot, he's never been one to shy away from the ladies, and Kate definitely has all of his attention, which she doesn't seem to mind.

But Christian... I can't take my eyes off him. How one girl could change everything about him is overwhelming, just watching him tonight is a joy. He seems happy, calm, involved, a part of all this. He usually feels like an outsider, he tries to hide it, but I know, but... He's been so different tonight.

Mia mentioned he was ecstatic, when he found out Ana was coming here tonight, I thought she was being her overly optimistic self but I now know, she wasn't. Mia advised Christian to be late with his arrival, giving Ana time to settle and I think it worked. They were wary of each other at first, I could see Christian's apprehension and her's even more so, but over the past hour, I have seen them respond to each other. Ana has subconsciously turned towards him, they have each others total attention, they aren't really saying much but you can definitely see the connection between them, and I'm not the only one to see it, I notice Mia is beside herself.

Tonight, Christian has relaxed, been more open than I have ever seen him, he has laughed and joked with Elliot and the look of appreciation he keeps throwing at Mia is not lost on her. He will owe her big time for this, I just hope his Amex can take it, but I can still see the worry in him. He takes notice of everything she does, I think he thinks, she will still run, but no... She is as smitten as he is I think. Her response to him, has a grin plastered on my face that even Carrick can't ignore,

"You happy dear?" he whispers in my ear, softly kissing my neck as I lean into him,

"More than happy my love... Look Carrick" and his eyes follow mine as we both stare in awe at a flushing Christian, as he pushed a loose strand of hair behind Ana's ear. I sigh contentedly and lean back into my husband, his arms circle my waist gently, I have so wanted this for him, he deserves this.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx M

Watching Christian, is a hard thing to do, mom warned me to butt out but I can't... I just want to scream, shout, jump up and down like a loon... I'm so happy for him. I know I wanted to change his life but god, I couldn't of asked for anything better, thank god Gia was too busy. He looks so, happy so at ease, he is usually so tense even with just our family but now... Oh I can't wait for them to have kids.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx K

As I watch Ana from across the table, a smile plays on my lips. I don't know what she was worrying about. To me, it seems she has Mr Megabucks by the short n curlys, she just doesn't know it yet. I can't believe it, Mr Cristian Grey and loveable Ana, well, he was definitely worth waiting for.

As I'm lost in thought, I feel Elliot lean into me and whispers in my ear,

"So what did you friend do to my brother?" I can't help my giggle, as we watch them, both totally unaware of anyone else around them, "I mean it Kate, what did your friend put in her paint... She has ensnared him" I nod with agreement, as it's plainly obvious,

"Well that's our Ana, she's lovely inside and out" I state truthfully,

"I don't think you get it Kate... This... This guy here... This isn't my brother... I've never seen him like this"

"What? At your parent's house for dinner" I joke, he smiles,

"Well that's a rarity in it's self yes, he's a total workaholic, but no Kate, I'm serious, Christian doesn't do banter, he doesn't do relaxed and he CERTAINLY doesn't do puppy dog eyes over a woman..." I glance at him and he seems genuinely amazed. Shaking his head slightly he continues "I can't remember seeing him like this, ever" he leans into me whispering "I secretly always thought he was gay" his laughter tickles my ear, sending shivers to all the right places, god this guy is hot. I splutter my drink with a giggle, as for years, I had the exact same thought, about the allusive Mr Grey,

"Well Ana is worth waiting for, but honestly Elliot, I have never seen Ana like this either, she is equally as caught. We never nearly came tonight, she was so anxious, I don't think she would have if I had not come with her"

"Well thank you for small mercies, cause I'm so glad you're here" he runs his fingers along my jaw up into my hair, coming to rest on the back of my neck. Breathe Kavanagh, breathe "It's been a pleasure to meet you Kate" he murmurs close to my ear, and my pulse starts to quicken. I pull back slightly, god were sitting at his parents dining table and all I can think of, is what I would love to do to their son. As if reading my thoughts, he chuckles softly and pulls back, I sit up a bit straighter, trying to rid my mind of my wayward thoughts,

"So what are we going to do?" he asks, I raise my eyebrow,

"What do mean" I frown and he nods across the table to the two love birds,

"From what I can see, Christian doesn't want this night to end and I don't know what he will do about that, so we need to help... Fancy hitting a club Miss Kavanagh?" he smiles widely, his eyes bright,

"Hell yes... Mr Grey" I probably say a bit too keenly but what the hell, you're only young once, I notice Elliot look over to Christian,

"Christian your okay to take Ana home aren't you? Kate and I are going to hit a club, so will you get Ana home safely?"

"My pleasure" Christian replies, his eyes never leaving Ana's face. Ana looks a little shocked, eyes wide and bright, her cheeks flushed. She looks so lovely, how could he not fall for her?. She glances over to me, her wide eyes pleading and all I can do is wink, she will thank us for this one day, I'm sure. She turns back to Christian and smiles, he gently brushes a stray strand of her hair behind her ear, his eyes scanning every part of her face. God, those two, really do have it bad.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx C

I can't take my eyes off of her, I don't want to move from this spot, granted I'd love to get her alone but she feels comfortable now, and I don't want her to lose that. I smile down at her, looking deep into those gorgeous blue eyes of hers. As she looks up at me, I feel no tension in her, nerves maybe but that I can understand.

It's taken all of my self control, all night, not to just throw her over my shoulder and take her home, I don't want to let her go but I don't want to frighten her either. I feel so close to her right now, even though we haven't really said much, chit chat, pleasantries but the closeness is enough. And now I get to take her home, thanks to Elliot. I glance over, he and Kate are engrossed but he feels my stare and looks up, we share a look of thanks... Elliot I owe you big time... Maybe the Ferrari he's been hinting at for years.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A

This wonderful night has come to an end, we have said our goodbyes with lots of hugs and kisses. We leave a lot of happy faces behind, I glance up at Christian, he just shrugs, and flushes slightly, wow...

As we climb into an SUV, I catch Taylor's eye in the rearview mirror, he greets me with a small nod,

"Evening miss Steele" I smile in return,

"Hi Taylor" I sit down and Christian slides in next to me. Sitting next to Christian this close, this alone, my heart is in my mouth. I hope he doesn't want to talk, I truly don't think I could. I can feel the sparks still flying between us but now, they seem more intense. Christian just continues to look ahead, a worried look on his face. Trying to clear my head, I pull my gaze away from him and glance out of the window,

"Taylor I think your heading the wrong way" I mutter, he avoids my eye contact, preferring to stare at the road. I glance up at Christian, he seems nervous somehow but meets my eyes, taking my hand he leans in closer and whispers,

"I want you to come home with me Ana... We need to talk... Come home with me... Please?" I just stare into his gorgeous gray eyes that now seem sad and pleading. I feel his thumb rubbing slowly across the back of my hand, glancing down, I can't help but wonder how such a small action could cause such a response in me. I don't want to leave him, not this time and pushing back any worries I may have, I nod.

"I'd love to Christian" I whisper.


	13. 13 Getting Closer

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A

As the car enters the car park, Christian takes my hand squeezing it gently. I turn from the window and glance at him, his eyes are apprehensive, he seems so nervous, his whole body is tense, you can feel it rolling off him in waves. I return the pressure on his hand and smile easing him, I notice his shoulders relax as he returns my smile. He seems more nervous than I am.

As Taylor parks the car, Christian slides out and he turns taking my hand helping me out. I smile at Taylor, who nods politely, locks the car and heads for the service elevator. Still with my hand in his, Christian leads me to the private elevator, I sigh, well this is it... No going back now... I finally get to be alone with him.

I more feel comfortable now, more at ease with him, a few glasses of wine have probably helped but still, the man I have spent tonight with has been wonderful. He was everything I hoped and more, he was attentive, charming... But things were kept hidden, we couldn't talk about everything, not at his parents house, not with other people listening.

Now we have no such protection, everything has to be shared, no more secrets. We have to talk about that locked room on the second floor, and that still frightens me. What if I don't like what I hear?... This man here and now beside me, looking nervously into my eyes, is who I like, I can't think about the other side of him... I don't want to... Not yet.

As the doors open, Christian places his hand on my lower back, it feels so good, so warm, carries so much tenderness. Yes, this is the man I want spend time with, he gestures for me to enter,

"After you Ana" his voice is low and husky,

"Thank you" I step in feeling him follow me,

As the doors close, we both turn to face the front but stop facing each other a few feet apart. The connection between us intensifies in such a small space, my cheeks flush, his eyes widen, as the elevator begins to climb. He smiles softly with such tenderness in his eyes, that my breathing quickens. He looks wary suddenly, as he takes a step towards me. His hand rises slowly, he brushes a strand of hair behind my ear and his fingers linger, softly brushing my jaw. The plasma ball sparks are now everywhere, bouncing off the elevator walls and biting me on the arse. God, what this man can do with a single touch. My heartbeat gets faster as he looks down, suddenly, a sad look takes over his worried face, his brow furrows and his voice is low,

"Ana, I don't do... Romance... Emotion... I don't know how to... I don't know what to say.. I..." His voice sounds sad, I don't want him to be sad. I bring my hand up to rest on his, and lean my cheek into his palm, I sigh heavily,

"Oh Christian... I wish you could see how you look at me... Your eyes say a thousand words... Even without them, I feel it Christian, words aren't needed for now, they'll come" Kate and Gia, have both mentioned how cold and reserved he is but I don't feel that from him, not here not now. His eyes brighten as he looks up hopefully resting his eyes on mine, his face splits into a heart wrenching smile. He has such a hold over me, I feel so much for him, in such a short time. I raise my head further... Oh kiss me please, I want to shout and I notice his eyes take on a different shade as they lock with mine. His jaw drops slightly, as his breathing quickens his head begins to lower. Oh yes Christian, PLEASE Kiss me... I close my eyes expecting him, just as the elevator doors open. My eyes fly open, as Christian lifts his head away from me, his eyes are closed, his jaw is clenched, he shakes his head clear. Oh so close... He takes my hand and leads me into his home.

We step out from the elevator into the hall and the Red wall meets us, I can't help my smile. As we enter the great room, my smile gets bigger, he hasn't changed anything. Still holding my hand he leads me into the kitchen, releasing my hand he pulls out a bar stool,

"Please take a seat" I perch myself on top of the stool "Would you like a glass of wine Ana?" he steps away cautiously, I hide my giggle. He can step away all he likes, he can't sever the connection that is bouncing between us constantly pulling us together, believe me I've tried,

"I'd love one Christian, thank you" he heads to the fridge and pulls out a bottle of wine. I glance around, feeling a bit self-conscious now, the last time I was here, I was alone running free with paint in my hair, now I have to respect his boundaries, this is his home now, not my place of work, I can't just...

"Ana, please make yourself at home... I don't want you to feel uncomfortable, you look a little nervous" I notice he is watching me closely, as he opens and pours the wine. Handing me a glass, he stands on the opposite side of the breakfast bar, I laugh softly,

"I would probably feel more comfortable working" he grins, nodding his head, a secretive smile plays on his lips, what's all that about.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx C

As we sit in the kitchen drinking our wine, my eyes don't leave her, having her finally here with me, just feels so right. I thought she would never entrain me again, after what she saw upstairs, but we have had a wonderful evening. I feel close to her, closer than I have ever felt to anyone, she seems to feel the same, she certainly looks happy. Her eyes are wide, her cheeks are flushed, all good positive responses but... It could also be shock.

"Did you enjoy this evening" I just have to ask, her head turns to me her eyes widening further,

"I had a lovely time... Thank you" she sips at her wine lowering her eyes, "Your family are lovely, your Mom and Dad seem really nice and so happy, and Mia... Well Mia you can't help but like, Elliot seems to have taken a shine to Kate" her eyes soften, she genuinely had a good time, that's good. She...

"Did you?" she asks quietly, Oh Ana... If you only knew, I gaze as her awe struck,

"Yes... I had a wonderful time Ana" I notice her turn away to hide a new blush that's hitting her cheeks, she's obviously embarrassed at my blatant staring.

"Come" I say quietly, taking the glass from her hand and placing it down on the breakfast bar, I take her hand. I see a worried frown cross her face, and she tenses slightly "I want you to show me around" I clarify, her eyes shoot up and she giggles softly, Oh that sound, it reaches me on so many levels,

"Christian..." she utters softly, I love to hear her utter my name, it's so alien but so comforting, I smile "This is your home, I..." she shakes her head bemused,

"Please... Show me around, I want to know how you chose your colour choices, what inspired you" and what on earth was going through your head when you painted the kitchen, she looks at me genuinely surprised, "Really Ana" I pull her from the bar stool as she giggles,

"Well in here wasn't really for you" she waves her arm around the kitchen, "I guessed you didn't do any cooking and I realized you had a housekeeper, so I wanted her to feel at home too, she has the same colour in her quarters so..." her embarrassed voice drifts off, I can't help my smile, so Mrs Jones is to blame for this,

"That's very considerate of you and Mrs Jones is very happy," amusement is in my voice and she beams, her smile is amazing... Her mouth is... Next room I think, I lead her gently across the room to my bedroom, trying to avoid bringing up the screaming Red walls in the lounge, there will be time for that later. As we approach the bedroom door I feel her hesitate, turning to her I smile trying to ease her, I am trying to drag her into my bedroom after all. She smiles in return as I open the door,

"I love this shade of gray, I never realized this room was cold before, now it feels..." I find myself muttering but she enthusiastically interrupts me,

"I wanted you to feel calm in here, I wanted this room to keep you grounded, remind you of who you are..." her voice falters suddenly and I know what has entered her head. She looks up at me, "It's funny... But I felt like I was intruding in here, this room above all others, I..."

"Ana... You are the first woman... Apart from Mrs Jones, who has ever been in here" she gasps all wide eyed. God only knows, what she will make of that,

"But wh..."her brow furrows and she glances around, looking for what, I'm not sure. I don't want to upset her at all, so I lighten the mood,

"Well your choice worked very well... I feel very grounded thank you" and she bursts out laughing, tension eased. Leaning toward her, I take her hand again and lead her out of the room. Just holding her hand has my blood pumping, every ounce of self control I have, is being called upon not to just swing her up into my arms, I so just want to be close to her but it's way too soon. As we cross the lounge, our eyes hold each others, only separating once we reach my office door, pushing it open I follow her inside,

"This one was easy" she giggles and her cheeks flush "This is the most important room in the house for you" she burns now, obviously recalling how my room upstairs must have some significance... Oh, will it never go away. She shifts from foot to foot, pushing her thoughts aside she stands a little straighter and she carries on. I can only look at her with worried eyes, when is all of this going to make her run?... If only she hadn't of seen it.

"In this room you need calm... Need a personal connection, to help balance everything out. All the stress you must carry with what goes on in your business world, the responsibility you must have, must be so overwhelming sometimes, so you need to be able to relax in here. Mia mentioned you liked to fly and sail, I also noticed the Yaught club calendar in your office and Glyding club key fob on Mrs Jones's keys" she flushes deeply obviously remembering why she had those keys, I curse internally... This is it she's going to run... But she composes herself and eagerly carries on, I let out the breath I was holding and I feel a stupid grin take over my face, she really wants to stay... "So it's the perfect escape," she sing's I nod in agreement "When things get too stressful, you can just float away," she laughs softly, she isn't wrong, I have found myself a few times today just staring out of the window,

"Did Mia choose the rug?" I ask with a smile raising my eyebrows, I notice she bites her lip as she shakes her head, Oh please stop that...

"No that was me... I... " She giggles "I thought it might help" she looks a bit embarrassed,

"Help how?" she has me confused now, how could a rug possible help? She takes a breath and her face brightens with her glorious smile,

"Well... After a hard stressful day at work... What could possible be better, than a foot massage" my eyebrows shoot up and she giggles, "Have you... Try sitting at your desk barefooted next time you're stressed and you will see what I mean" she laughs and I can't help my response of laughter too, as I remember not being able to keep my feet still when I sat at my desk. She has put a lot of thought into this, I just shake my head at her still with a stupid grin to my face. She is truly mesmerizing, she makes stress relief sound so simple, if only she knew. She flushes and lowers her eyes,

"I'm glad you liked blue enough, to use it in your main office, the benefits can..." she stops as she notices my heated expression, god what this girl does to me, I need to be closer to her,

"That's not why I like it, or why I needed it at Grey House" I whisper walking towards her, she turns to face me her eyes asking why? As I get closer to her, her response to me changes, her breathing slows her eyes widen. As I cup her face with both my hands, I whisper softly, "I like this Blue... Because it's the same colour as your eyes," I feel her catch her breath, feel her flush heat my hands and sigh heavily at her response to my touch. I so want to kiss her, devour her, touch her, hold her, just be near her. I close my eyes and breathe deeply, trying desperately to clear my head, I can't... Not yet... Not until she knows the real me...

It wouldn't be fair to deceive her, she needs to know the truth... But I know it will ruin everything... I intend to treasure every minute I have with her, as this spell will be broken for sure by my true self but... We have to get past this... We have stalled long enough. As I still hold her face in my palms, I rest my brow on hers,

"Anastasia" I whisper and hear her small gasp, I pull my head back and lock our eyes, "Why the Red?" she steps away, knowing exactly what the question means. I close my eyes, this is it, she'll leave now I know she will... Once it's mentioned...

"It's not what you think" she shakes her head looking scared, her voice is low as she continues "I think subconsciously I wanted to leave a part of myself here... I chose that colour before..." she looks embarrassed and nervously chews her lip. Surely I should be the embarrassed one but then she surprises me "I have the same colour at home...I wanted to... "

"Why would you want to do that? Leave a piece of yourself here..." I need to know... We hadn't even met then, she shakes her head,

"I'm not sure I... I felt a connection with this place... With you... I..." my jaw drops at her confession. I felt it too, I felt her presence here, even after she had left...

"Tell me what you felt Ana... Please" I desperately need to know if we have the slightest change of getting past all of this, If she feels the same. I can feel my eyes boring into hers, she looks down,

"I... When I was here alone, I'm not sure what it was... It felt lonely... And not just because it was empty, it went deeper than that. There was sadness here... It's hard to explain... I felt something though and was drawn to this place... To you... Crazy I know, but... I felt comfortable here... I... Wanted to help you... Make you feel... Oh I don't know" I'm just staring at her unable to speak, feeling totally shocked. How could she feel so much in this place? Her soft continues, "Then when I met you..." she looks up at me and smiles "I felt it... What ever it was... It shocked me to the core... I still feel it" her head shakes in confusion but my relief is immense. She knows my secret, yet still wants to be here with me, I just want to wrap my arms around her...

"When you were in my office with me alone, you... You seemed distant, you couldn't leave fast enough..." I remember the devastation I felt and sigh heavily, she giggles suddenly and my mood lifts, my mouth forms a small smile,

"That was so hard... I could barely breath around you, never mind concentrate on talking to you, so I busied myself with work, trying to keep control of myself... I so wanted to just talk to you, be near you" her brow furrows suddenly and I'm dreading what she will say next."But when you snapped at the guy that brought up the paint for me... You scared me... I" she shrugs, as I deflate,

"When I asked you out for dinner, you seemed terrified..." My voice is low, I knew I'd ruin everything with my temper she had a glimpse of the real me and ran. Suddenly I feel her hand on my cheek, her thumb gently sweeping and her touch radiates right through me, my eyes shoot up hopefully... Please don't run...

"I was terrified... Terrified of saying YES... " she's looking deep into my eyes, "The man I was with... Before that interruption, had me mesmerized but after... I was so unsure, so I had to go before I caved, I don't understand everything Christian, don't know what this all means but... I am sorry I ran, I just couldn't think straight, even after leaving you I could still feel you, I'm sure I had a panic attack in the elevator going down I..." she smiles shyly,

"Do I still scare you?" my voice is still low, probably because I'm holding my breath dreading to hear the word Yes,

"No not anymore... But there are still things... I don't understand" it's evident she's referring to my playroom and I so want to explain everything to her but I'm so unsure of her reaction, I don't want to ruin everything. I feel her hand move away from my face, I clasp her hand holding it still. I need the contact, I don't want her pulling away from me, I don't want to lose her,

"I know Ana... I can explain..." her other hand rises and she places her finger on my lips, my eyes lock with hers,

"No Christian... Not yet" she whispers, she knows too that the spell will break, once the truth is out there. Oh what she must think of me, I'm going to lose her...

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A

As we stand in his office just looking into each others eyes, I don't know what else to say, I don't want to ruin this moment. I know he has a darker side, but I don't want to meet him yet, I want to revel in this glorious man before me. My palm is still holding his beautiful face, I softly rub my thumb across his bottom lip... Oh I want to feel that lip. He pulls away from me suddenly, his eyes on fire,

"Come on, let's go and get a drink" his breathing is labored his eyes still wild, yes please... I don't want this to get any darker. He pulls me from the room, keeping hold on my hand until we reach the kitchen. He refills our glasses as I start to wander aimlessly around the lounge. I love this room, it looks so beautiful now, with low lights and the twinkling view of the city out of the window. I absent mindedly wander over to the piano and stroke my hand over the keys,

"Do you play?" he asks, his eyes curious, I blush with a heavy sigh,

"Oh I wish... It's such a beautiful instrument"

"Shall I play for you?" his eyes look eager and I can't help my grin,

"Would you?" oh I would love to hear him play,

"Of course" he states proudly,

"Then yes please" I say with a beaming smile.

With glasses in hand he approaches and places the glasses on the low coffee table nearby. I stand back, as he sits on the small stool, he smiles his glorious smile and reaches for my hand. Pulling me onto the small stool, so I'm sitting next to him, I giggle as I flop down onto the stool. I feel the heat, the connection between us, and I know he does too as he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.

"What would you like to hear?" he asks cheerfully with a grin,

"Surprise me" I state, as his eyes widen and his cheeks flush. My eyebrows rise curiously but he just sighs. His hands start to move swiftly across the keys to get the feel of his piano, the room is then filled with the saddest melody I have ever heard. I just gaze at him in awe as he holds my eyes to his and continues to effortlessly play.

The heat that flares between us is scalding, I feel my jaw drop and he smiles softly, still holding my gaze with his beautiful eyes, his face slowly transforms into a contented smile and as it does, the music rises, starts to get more and more magical, more intense, more sweet, its beautiful. I have no idea what piece this is but it grabs my heart and twists it with every note, touching my very soul. I feel a single tear run down my cheek and his face freezes as his hands fly away from the piano.

"Oh Ana" he almost sobs. He takes my face in his hands, softly rubbing my tear away with his thumb, his eyes close and I hear a low groan as his brow rests on mine. I feel his breathe on my face, I can't help my gasp,

"Oh Christian that was beautiful, who was that?" he looks down as he flushes and avoids my eye,

"It was me" he whispers, I can't help my giggle,

"I know that silly... Who's piece was that?"

"Mine... Yours... I wrote it for you" his eyes lift to mine and my heart tightens.

Can you love someone... After only four days and meeting then only twice?

At this moment my heart says yes. I'm totally numb, he wrote that for me... When?... How?...

"For me?..." I can barely speak as my voice comes out as a whisper,

"Yes" he also whispers and I can't do it anymore,

"Oh kiss me Christian.. Ple..." his mouth is on mine before I even have a chance to doubt that he will,

His kiss is soft tender, filled with so much intense feeling that I melt responding to him, my mouth opens as I gasp and I feel his warm soft tongue dancing with mine. Oh god I don't care... I want this man... I need this man. Just the feel of his lips on mine has my heart racing, I feel it in every cell of my body, I'm alive from head to toe, and for the first time I want to be close to a man... This man. I raise my hand to him as he pulls away gasping for breath looking into my eyes, I'm surprised when I see sadness creeping in,

"Oh Anastasia I can't do this... Not until" he looks so wary, so lost. I just stare at him lost in what has just happened between us, "We need to go up stairs... You need to see the real me... Only then can we... Oh Ana I... " He sounds so broken that my heart bleeds.

Oh hell... It's time to face this... This is it... Make or break time... What hides and lurks behind that locked door, holds they key to my heart... I just hope I'm strong enough to face this.

A/N PLEASE REVIEW...


	14. 14 Show And Tell

THANKS TO EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU, FOR YOUR WONDERFUL REVIEWS, FOR FOLLOWING AND FOR ALL YOUR

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx C

As I take her hand to help her up from the small piano stool, my heart is heavy I feel like a man heading for the gallows, I can't even meet her gaze. I notice she has paled slightly, looks scared, hesitant and I can't blame her for that. What I am about to show and tell her now will change everything... Turn her away from me... How could it not... I so don't want that... The thought of that happening has me panicking and that in its self is confusing.

She stands tall taking a deep breath, squaring her shoulders she prepares herself to face her fears, the ones that lurk behind that locked door. I sigh and squeeze her hand, I wish we didn't have to do this... I don't want to do this... I don't want to scare her away... Lose her... That's the last thing I want.

I have never had any real shameful or regretful thoughts about my lifestyle choice regarding my playroom, never had to explain my reasons to anyone... But now that time has come... And it feels so wrong... She shouldn't have to know about this depravity... This darkness that I have allowed myself to wallow in over the past years, she is too good for all of this should not be tainted by it.

Taking an equally deep breath as hers, I head slowly for the stairs. Her hand is still in mine and I feel a light squeeze of encouragement to my fingers, as she notices my hesitation at the bottom of the stairs. I glance down at her with shameful eyes, as she offers me a small smile.

"We don't have to do this yet" she whispers, I hear the hope in her voice but no... We can't carry on... Not without the truth... This has to be faced.

"Yes we do" I barely whisper and I see her small nod as her eyes turn sad, she doesn't want this either.

We climb the stairs slowly, not looking at each other just both staring at the door ahead of us, I feel her tension radiating through her as we regretfully reach the door. Digging my keys out of my pocket, I find the key and after placing it in the lock, I turn to look into her beautiful blue eyes just one more time before this is over. She will never look at me in the same way again after this, and I can't stop myself, I just have to touch her one more time before I repulse her, before she sees the real monster inside of me and never wants to set her eyes on me again.

I wrap my arms around her and pull her into my chest, god this feels so good, she's so warm, I feel her shiver and her heavy sigh, as her arms wrap around my waist. As she pulls herself in closer, I feel a heat pulse right through me that completely overshadowed the panic that was about to set in, this feels so right.

I nuzzle my nose into her neck and inhale her glorious scent, placing a kiss just below her ear, I hear her low deep groan and I almost come undone. God what I want to do to this woman. I want to touch every inch of her, lose myself completely in ways I never thought possible but I can't... We have to deal with this. I reluctantly pull away and place a hard chaste kiss on her forehead, her eyes are closed, she has a contented look on her face but that will not last.

Not taking my eyes off her, I turn the key and open the door, I stand aside to let her enter. Watching her reaction I slowly see the fear creep into her eyes, she bites her lip and lowers her eyes. I knew it, I sicken and scare her, my shoulders slump as the air leaves me feeling bereft. I see her eyes rise slowly starting to take in the room, her feet slowly moving her forward. She stops in the middle of the room and turns to me, I'm standing frozen, I can't move from the door, I don't want to, I don't what to tell her about all of this. How would she ever understand?

"Christian..." she whispers, her sad face breaks down my walls and I slowly raise my eyes to look at her, her eyes are wary, questioning, pleading "What is all of this?... Do you... Do you hurt people?... Torture them to..." her voice is so quiet I can barely hear her,

"God no Ana... It's... Well there is pain... But no more than..." how on earth do I explain all of this.?

"Christian I don't understand" her voice is still barely more than a whisper but I feel her uncertainty, her fear.

"Ana I have issues... Dark issues, that... I need control... When I was a child I... It's so hard to explain... Ana when you first saw this room, why did you not leave?" I need to know her thoughts and feeling about this before I destroy myself entirely. I stare at her intently trying to read her face, she blushes as she catches my eye.

"When I first saw all of this... I couldn't think straight... Couldn't understand how this was part of you, I never understood what it all meant... Still don't... But it was none of my business anyway... I never had any intention of ever meeting you, I knew I would have left here before you came home... But I found myself drawn to it... To you..." she glances up biting her lip looking so uncertain. I have a memory of watching her being drawn to this room and her reaction after she left it.

"Were you not scared?" I ask her, I have to know, how deep her fears run.

"Christian I was terrified" she sighs heavily and a small smile reaches her lips. Oh there is still hope... If she can find the heart to smile.

"I had visions of you working for Al Pacino who..." she's lost me,

"What?" I can't help question as she giggles, oh I see a light, at the end of this tunnel,

"You know the film with Keanu Reeves, he's a lawyer... Who works for Al... Oh never mind, you're not sacrificing people to the devil for your wealth and success are you?" she questions her eyebrows raise, a bigger smile trying to break through, I just shake my head dumbfounded "You're not slicing and dicing your business rivals and having Taylor dispose of the bodies?" I'm still just shaking my head, her smile stays put, as her body relaxes and my breathing eases, it's not as bad as I feared.

She feels more at ease now and wanders over to the large couch opposite the bed, sitting down she glances at me expectantly she still needs answers... Here goes... Make or break... And I just know she is going to hate me.

"Ana what do you know about Dominant and Submissive relationships?" my voice is low, her eyes widen as they slowly take in the room and I think reality dawns. As her gaze meets mine her face falls, the joviality has definitely left her, she opens her mouth to speak but closes it quickly. How do I explain that I beat willing strangers, to rid myself of the demons I carry from the crack whore, who should have protected me as a child, that I...

"Kate did an article once ..." she mumbles. I notice her eyes have glazed over as god only knows runs through her head, "Who?... Why?... " Her eyes clear as she locks them with mine. My heart is in my mouth as I begin to explain.

"I have taken up contracts with willing female Submissives, we had rule's, limits, safeguards in place, I saw them only in Escala, only at weekends" I see her face fall further as she chews on her lip,

"The yellow guest room" she whispers, I nod slowly as I regretfully continue,

"I had no emotional attachment to those women, didn't have any involvement with them personally or once the contract had ended, I..."

"Christian you don't have to explain further... If you choose to have women crawling around on their knees, being led around by a leash and wearing a collar, that's up to you, it's none of my business..." she looks sad behind her anger, and my stomach rolls. She's seen the monster in me now. She shifts in her seat feeling a little uncomfortable, she's going to run... My voice is pleading as it leaves me,

"No Ana, it's not like that... I promise... It's about control yes but I never demean my submissive... The control of it all is the important issue for me...when I..." her quiet voice interrupts my emotional rant,

"Christian please, you have told me enough I don't need all the details, I don't want them in my head... My imagination is enough" and a thought crosses my mind, on how I will feel when I have to hear about Ana's ex conquests. I walk towards her and feel her apprehension, she wants me no where near her, I can't let her run. As I reach her I drop to my knees in front of her, taking her hands in mine as they just sit in her lap.

"Ana I need to explain... Need you to understand... I don't want to lose you..." I hear a small gasp and look into her eyes, they have softened a touch. "Ana... When I was a child, I couldn't control what happened to me... I lost my birth mother, in terrible circumstances... It affected me in every way possible good and bad... When I hit my teenage years I was on a destructive path, all of this" I sweep my eyes around the room, hoping she will understand "Came into my life, when I needed to gain some sort of control, it helped me take back the power to control my own life... To succeed"

"You don't have to ex..." she shakes her head, as I lower my eyes,

"Yes I do... Please Ana you need to know all about me... The real me... But I'm scared Ana... You'll run... You need to run" my desperation is dire now. My hands are still firmly holding hers, I don't want her to go, but I must give her a way out,

"Why would I run Christian?" she asks shaking her head, I lower my eyes,

"Why?... Why?... Oh Ana, I am more fucked up than you could ever imagine... I'm dark Ana" I hear her gasp and lift my eyes,

"No Christian... You're compassionate... Committed... Loyal... A good man" she pulls her hands from mine and cups my face,

"Ana you don't know me..." I whisper,

"I FEEL you Christian... Your sad... Lost... Lonely... Angry... But you're far from dark... Seeing you with your family proved that, listening to Kate rave about all your charitable good deeds was another, because believe me it takes alot to impress her... And Christian... Having spent the last few hours with you before all of this, confirms all of that..." how on earth can she still think that? With all this fucked up shit in her head, I just stare with desperate eyes,

"Ana... But I've been..." she places her thumb over my lips to silence me, she looks at me squarely, a smile playing at the corner of her mouth,

"Christian... Have you ever killed anyone?"

"No of course not" I shake my head, as her lips start to switch,

"Mugged an old lady" Her smile is there now, small but there,

"No" my lips begin to mirror hers, my thoughts start to calm,

"Left a drowning kitten in a well" Her smile is contagious,

"No" I beam,

"Then for now... That is good enough for me," her voice is final,

"Ana what about all of this? I'm no good for you far too tainted I..." her sharp voice interrupts me,

"Christian please don't... You're a good man, surely your sexual preferences do not dictate who you are? This is only a small part of you... There is so much more to you... I feel that" here hand squeezes mine and hope returns,

"Now can we get the hell out of here?" I hear the exhaustion in her voice, I nod and slowly stand not taking my eyes from her, I stil feel the stupid grin stretching my cheeks, god she's wonderful.

"Anything for you Anastasia".


	15. 15 Let's Kick Back

A/N THANK YOU FOR THE GREAT REVIEWS, YOUR SUPPORT IS SO APPRECIATED.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A

Stepping out of that room was like a slap in the face, as the cold light of day hit me... Well the twinkling low light of night did... But same diff... My head is still screwed. As we leave the room and head down the stairs, Christian has my hand and it's a good job really, after everything I have heard in the past hour has just hit me all at once and has sent my head spinning, I'm definitely walking blindly down the stairs. As we reach the bottom, Christian leads me over to the sofa where I flop down exhausted, feeling emotionally drained.

After everything that he has told me, and what I sort of already knew, my emotions are all over the place. Glancing up I see Christian busy in the kitchen, he's getting fresh glasses and pouring more wine. He seems happy, has a stupid grin to his face like the cat that got the cream... Wow... He so didn't want to take me in there... And believe me the feeling was mutual.

So now what? I know all the sordid details... Well, as much as I could stand to hear right now. We're going to have to dig a whole lot deeper here one day, if I want a totally true picture of him, but I think I have enough to go on for now and boy my head is fucked.

As Christian buzzes around the kitchen fixing snacks, his smile is wide, I'm sure I hear him humming but that could just be me. His eyes look light... Happy... Free from all the tension they were screwed up with for the past hour, and now it's my turn to worry, for my brow to furrow... Shit...

I couldn't stay in that room any longer, images started to enter my head, the toys, the equipment... God the positions, and the thought of so many beautiful willing women coming before me, leaves a bitter taste in my mouth... After his experience with all of this and them, what on earth am I going to be able to offer him?... That's a really sad thought.

I guessed it all had something to do with sex when I saw no blood, I'm not that naive... He's rich so of course he can afford, a better box of tricks than the average joe has under their bed at home... But this... Contracts, Rules, Persific dates, places, no emotional contact in any way... Just seems so cold, so empty... Christ, no wonder this place feels sad. no wonder he is so sad.

When he started to open up about why, well that was another thing entirely, he sounded so broken, so desperate, and my heart flared in response to his pleas. I want to help him, I need to be with him, so what do I do about all this shit? Will he still want to have a submissive? Because I really don't think I could, my knowledge is very limited regarding all of this. When Kate was researching her article, we looked at a few web sites, had a few laughs, then saw a few images that will stay with us for ever, but it did seem like a genuine lifestyle choice and not some seedy cult, so hey each to their own. So I understand... Sort of... But can I really be this close to it all.?

I didn't want to go in there, didn't want my perception or feelings for him to change, but we had to go in, now my heads all over the place. Have my feelings changed though?... I don't think they have. Their feelings and reactions, not decisions and choices, my mind may be hazy but I still feel for him, what does he?... OH MY GOD... Where the hell do I fit into all of this,? and before my brain has time to think this through, its out there,

"Is this what you want me for... That room that... A Submi..." my head shoots up to stare at him, I need to see his reaction. He looks shocked, genuinely shocked, good sign, he walks towards me glasses in hand, shaking his head adamantly holding eye contact.

"God Ana no... I mean don't get me wrong, there are so many things I want to do to you, places I want to take you, feelings I want you to enjoy but truly... Pain isn't one of them" he places the glasses on the table, sits in front of me on the floor and takes my hands, "Ana, the thought of you being my submissive is abhorrent to me, I could never hurt you, play... Yes... But hurt... No... I don't want that with you" he looks intently into my shocked eyes trying to drive the message home "Please believe me Ana, I want no contract, no rules, certainly no restriction on time, I want you, all of you. I could never curb you, I would miss your blush, your smile, your dazzling beautiful eyes..." he's smiling softly while he gushes away, shaking his head dumbfounded, his eyes are ablaze, he's happy...

"But why..." I'm still dazed I think, as I speak before I think yet again, he wants me... Is all, that's really floating around in my head,

"Ana I want to hold you... Do you realize how hard that has been for me? How rare that concept is? Not even my own family touch me freely" he looks wistfully at my bemused stunned expression. Smiling brightly he leans up and plants a small swift kiss on the top on my nose, "Ana, I don't do touch, for me to even consider it is..." he shakes his head " Ana... My sex life has been controlled, all my subs were always restrained, never aloud to touch me, the thought of it truly repulsed me... But with you... You make me feel" another sweet kiss hit's my nose before he suddenly stands dragging me with him, his arms pull me in close to him, I just breathe in his wonderful scent, too stunned to say anything.

"I want to laugh, talk, play with you" he drools the intended word, and I feel it run right through my body. His eyes are playful alive, he's smiling widely and I'm just frozen, this man is nuts... "I want to take you places, share my whole life with you, I want you to give me a better life, a worthwhile life" he pulls back, takes one arm from around my back and every so gently cups my face, his thumb softly stroking my cheek, his eyes are on fire, "God, I just want to pick you up and spin you around and around in my arms... In fact" and I squeal, as his strong arms encase me and I'm up in the air, literally spinning around and around.

I wrap my arms around his neck pulling him close to me, my nose travels up his neck as my moan escapes, "Oh Christian" I whisper, and he's stock still instantly and I'm back on my feet with both his hands softly on my jaw. His eyes burn into mine, as I finally recover and can look at him.

"Oh Ana... You really don't know what you have done to me, ask anyone, anyone that's ever met me, they will all tell you, I'm a cold bastard, one that's never let anyone in, go ask Jason, better still... Ask Gail, she will have plenty to say" a small smile hits his lips "Ana I want you... Playing can be fun, but I want more with you, I want to give you more, your pulling it out of me without either of us realizing it, I don't want it it stop." our eyes are locked, he sounds so passionate so believable. My body is certainly responding to him, this close contact has me reeling but my head still has doubts.

"I never knew what I was missing till you literally fell into my arms, you defribulated me, brought me back from the dark into the light. I have never felt the connection I felt and feel with you... Ever Ana... I have women trying to get near me every day, everywhere I go, even my submissives never got this close to me, so believe me when I say I have never felt this way with anyone, it's you Ana, it has to be you" his voice is passionate, convincing and I'm starting to swoon, I can feel it but still...

"You will miss the great swinging from the chandelier sex" my eyes are wide, crazy words flowing freely now, he just chuckles shaking his head.

"No Ana I won't... Ana the sex was great but that's all it was, there is only so much great sex you can have with no real connection before it starts feeling empty... And it was empty... Has been for so long, I just never new the difference till now... I have kissed you briefly once and I felt more that one time than..." his soft hands raise my head, I feel his warm breath on my face, my eyes are closed so as not to give in, but I know his lips are close and still my questions pour...

"What about when you're stressed? You need that room for control and help deal with all your stress... And there was me thinking a rug would help..." I look up slightly unfocused, waiting for my barrings to come back. He's chuckling again, glad I amuse, these are serious worries here... Oh hurry up an answer before all resolve is lost. I feel his warm lips on my neck, gently brushing up and down, oh god... He pulls away a glint in his eye.

"Ana it did... It does... Do you know how stressful it was trying to find you? Waiting to see you, upsetting our Sunday afternoon." a sad expression hits his face before he smiles "I so wanted to take you for a late lunch after working in my office, even with paint in your hair... Ana, not once have I thought of that room, well not about using it anyway more like wishing it would disappear." he kisses my brow, then pulls me close, my head resting on his chest, I sigh, still one more issue.

"Christian..." I whisper,

"Hhuumm" he moans, his nose buried in my hair,

"I don't think I could do it..." he pulls back and smiles slowly,

"Do what Ana?" I feel the blush,

"The room upstairs... I..." His eyes are sincere,

"Ana I know it scares you, why wouldn't it? But believe me, a lot of pleasure can be found in that room, and that's all I would ask of you in there... Purely your pleasure" he has a wicked smile to his lips, a razed cocky eyebrow and its a good job he's holding me or I would be on the floor... Oh...My...God...

"Don't get me wrong Christian, what I feel when I'm with you is immense and I don't think it would take much... Persuasion... For me to try certain things" my blush is burning now but he is trying so hard to contain his laughter "And I am curious, but... It seems so domineering in their" he blatantly laughs now, I roll my eyes shaking my head "I know that's the point but... I'm not a sub... Don't want to be... Don't know how to be... What if you forget and hu... " His laughter is getting louder, oh it's lovely sounding, such heartfelt joy, "We could always paint a wall a different colour... To remind you... NO WHIPPING" I suggest, he nods with a chuckle,

"Yes please" he purrs and his head descends, his nose runs up my neck as I feel him inhale, all sense will soon be lost if he doesn't stop,

"Anything to keep me working" I manage to mumble,

"I like you in your whites," he breathes into my neck and by god he's good, I'm basically quivering at the slightest touch from him,

"You do, do you " I say slowly, to match my labored breath, my eyes gently roll in my head,

"Maybe something in cream" Christian nips my neck, I gasp as he chuckles and pulls away, his face somber suddenly,

"Ana please stay" his voice sounds pleading, I chew on my lip, oh my...

"Christian we've only just met, I have... " His thumb brushes my flushing cheek,

"No Ana... Not that, Let's just get comfy, have another drink, talk get to know each other... Just kick back" he looks pleased with himself, I can't help my giggle,

"The Chrisitan Grey kicks back?" my eyebrows raise, as his face splits into the most glorious grin,

"I do now" he gushes,

"Ok Mr Grey, lets kick back".


	16. 16 Fire Side

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx C

She wants to stay... She said yes again... To me... After all she saw, all she has heard, she still wants to be here... With me.

I thought I'd destroyed everything, for one dreadful hour I thought I'd lost her, thought all hope was lost. I saw the hurt, anger and disappointment claim her face but then, her true feelings won over her disgust and fear, her connection to me, pulled her back, and now she wants to stay.

I'm buzzing, truly buzzing... And Elliot comes to mind...I never understood Elliot's thrill of interaction with a new woman, but he always said, that the first-contact buzz was half the fun, and a big part of why he dated a lot but now... I understand because I feel it, the excitement of wanting to be near someone, of wanting to hold them, touch them... God just to look at them, I so don't want her to go... Ever.

She is just staring at me now like I'm nuts, but I am just staring at her still with stretched cheeks, so her quizzical look is justified. I feel nuts, definitely not my usual self, and I can't help a chuckle, God... I so don't feel like myself and hell... It's the best feeling in the world.

I notice her raise an eyebrow and start to nibble on that glorious bottom lip, god I want to do that. My memory recalls the feel of her mouth, the softness of her lips, the warmth of her breath, oh the feel of her tongue... God when I kissed her... I felt her, all of her... Inside and out... From a simple kiss, god knows what she would do to me if she allowed me to touch her, oh... I need to steer away from this train of thought instantly, or this is going to get very embarrassing.

"Come on let's find you something to wear" I say with a flurish, as I take her hand and start to pull her towards my bedroom. I feel her pull back and as I glance at her, her eyes seem wide, hesitant, oh don't worry baby, I'm so not gonna rush this, "Ana you can't kick back in that gorgeous dress and those killer heels, you needs sweats... So come on" I tug gently on her hand smiling. The sooner I get her comfy, the sooner we can talk. I see her relax, and she giggles softly as she takes my hand with both of hers and allows me to pull her into the bedroom. She's standing in the middle of the room grinning, god she's beautiful, and still here, after all of this crap.

I drop to one knee in front of her "Please allow me" she giggles as I place one hand on her smooth calf muscle and raise her leg slightly and remove her shoe. Her hand rests softly on my shoulder as she balances herself, I feel the heat from her hand travel down my back and it feels amazing, instantly calming me. A contented sigh leaves me, and I can't shake my stupid grin, she steps down and I eagerly repeat with her other foot.

"Oh that's better" she sighs, bouncing slightly on the balls of her feet, I look up at her still grinning,

"You can go an dance on my rug if you'd like, that will help with those sore feet" she looks down, amusement to her beautiful face but shakes her head,

"I'm fine thank you Christian, but thank you for the offer" her eyes seem bright, she's still looking slightly shell shocked. I think I over did it slightly with the declaration overload, but I just had to tell her how I feel, how much she means to me... I hope I haven't scared her off, she must think I'm crazy, we have technically only just met.

But god if she knew how I felt, she wouldn't doubt me for a second. I'm still on the floor in front of her, her shoes in one hand, my other running smoothly up and down her calf. I'm just starring, lost in her, errant thoughts starting very nicely, to creep into my head and as if reading my mind, she flushes the most glorious colour. Taking her lip once again with her teeth, her eyes slightly hood,

"May I use the bathroom?" she whispers, I think I'm affecting her just a little bit too, I chuckle as I jump to my feet,

"Of course Ana, door behind you" she turns on her heel and heads away, "Oh just a minute Ana" she turns sharply, her wide eyes questioning. I head off into my closet, rummage through a draw or two, find a small black T and my smallest, drawstring sweats but they're still going to swim on her. I head back into the bedroom, "Here change into these, they are the smallest I have but..." I offer her the clothes, she takes them with a smile and our hands slightly brush, she gasps as I shudder, Christ...

"They'll be fine, thank you Christian" her voice is breathless, yes... I definitely affect her to, she turns quickly to enter the bathroom,

"Shower if you wish" I shout after her, she grins shaking her head as she closes the door. God I could do with a shower, a cold one, maybe she does too? She seems awfully flushed and my grin widens. God I feel ridiculous but wouldn't change it for the world. I dive back into my closet and dig out more sweats, and put on a fresh T. Heading back into the bedroom, I sit eagerly on the side of the bed not taking my eyes off the bathroom door... Oh hurry up woman.

Then there she is, all swimming T and baggy trousers, looking absolutely ridiculously adorable. She tug's in jest on the trousers, pulling them up from her covered feet and I just have to laugh,

"Here, let me" and I scoot over, and once again I'm on my knees in front of her, and the position suits, as I would do anything for her. I gather the bottom of her sweats and start to turn them over again and again, till finally I see her beautiful slender soft ankle. Oh, just two inches of skin and my bloods flowing, we need to get out of here. Quickly doing her other leg, she's soon walking freely. "Come on lets go and eat" I take her hand and lead her from the room, she laughs as she pulled along,

"Christian we ate with your parents, it's nearly 1am we... What is it?" I stop turning on my heel to face her. My grin slips, as a melancholy feeling takes hold. Taking the step it takes to get me to her, I then wrap her in my arms, she looks up at me with soft curious eyes "What?" she utters,

"Ana, do you know how good that sounded 'we ate with your parents' such a simple sentence but it means so much" her brow furrows, "Ana, I usually attend my mothers dinners under duress or obligation, tonight I couldn't get there fast enough, sitting outside was torture for me, I just wanted to see you I..." her voice is whispering but I hear it,

"You waited outside" her eyes widen,

"Yes... Mia thought it best" I see a smile slowly filling her face, she probably thinks I'm an idiot,

"She was probably right... We have a lot to thank Mia for" I cup her beautiful face just gazing at her,

"Yes we do Ana, yes we do... Ana tonight I actually enjoyed being there... Enjoyed... Not mearly tolerated... I felt happy, part of it all, well when I could take my eyes away from you that is... But seriously Ana, I feel closer to my family after one night with your inclusion, than I ever have before" I notice her face sadden and her eyes tear up. A single tear falls and I gently kiss it away, I feel her sigh and her arms circle my waist, I pull her closer to me, she feels so comfortable, so much a part of me.

"They saw it to you know Ana, my Mother will worship you from afar, for forever I'm sure" she chuckle into my chest, and I just revel in the contact. God this time last night, I never thought I'd see her again, unless I took Elliot's advice, as I do have over a 1000 offices, but no, not needed. Here she is, in my arms, in my clothes, in my bedroom, in my home, and for once in my life, I feel truly happy. I hold her close to me, for what feels like forever, until I feel and hear her contented sigh. I smile into her hair, I think she's as lost, as I am.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A

Waddling into the lounge in bare feet and clothes way too big, I feel ridiculous, happy, but ridiculous. Christian pulls me gently over to the couch and I sit gratefully, still a bit jelly legged after so much contact,

"What would you like to drink" he asks cheerfully,

"A tea would be lovely Mr Grey" and I giggle, as he bows and head off into the kitchen,

"Coming right up... Sure you're not hungry" he asks,

"No... I'm good, we have snacks" and I nod to the finger food on the table, with our earlier poured wine, he nods and pops the kettle on. I pick up the no longer needed wine glasses and head over to the kitchen sink, "Who would of thought you would be so domesticated," I giggle and his eyes shoot up, a slight flush to his cheeks as he busies himself. After placing the glasses in the sink, I waddle over to the breakfast bar and jump up onto a stool. Glancing round I sigh, I love this room, the view, the space, the feel of the place, my eyes fall onto the fire,

"Christian... Can we light the fire? I so wanted to see how this Red would look by firelight, I was so tempted to light it, while I was here" I blush slightly, remembering how I had free rein over this place. It seems so long ago now, feels like so much has happened since then, but its only been a few days. How things can change in such a short time is overwhelming, I still feel my brain needs to play catch up with some of the things he has said to me, the feelings he has expressed, but they mirror mine, so that's good.

My thoughts are pulled back to the present, as my eye catches his movements, he places the cups he has in his hands, on the breakfast bar and smiles eagerly,

"Sure, you finish the tea, I will set the fire" his hand softly brushes my head as he passes me. I notice his smile is so content, I return his smile as my heart flutters, how can such a simple touch carry so much?.

I step down from the stool and head around the breakfast bar and finish my tea and his coffee. Taking the cups, I head over to the lounge, Christian already has the fire lit, and is now in the process of pulling all the cushions off the sofa and placing them on the floor. The Red throw I added, is now in his hands, as I reach him our eyes lock and his eyes are warm, sincere, alive.

"We may as well get comfy" his voice sings as his cheeks flush, "Please take a seat" he extends his hands to take the cups from me. Once he has them, he places them on the low table beside him, I settle myself on the cushions, propping on or two of them behind me to lean against the sofa. I feel him sit next to me, and rearrange his cushions, once settled his arm drops behind me on the couch, "You okay?" he asks, while pushing a stray lock of my hair behind my ear, my eyes instinctively close with the contact and I hear his soft chuckle,

"I'm fine" I murmur, my voice is soft, content. He passes me my tea, which I hug with both hands, my eyes once again drift around the room. Christian leans over to the table and switches off the lamp, now just the fire illuminates this room and it looks wonderful, the light from the flames is dancing all around the room,

"This place looks great Ana... The colour works so well, thank you" he too is taking in his surroundings, a smile ever present.

"Thank Mia... It was her request for something bold in here, that pushed me to..." I feel him shake his head causing me to pause.

"Ana..." I feel his arm move from the couch and run up my arm, his hand cups my shoulder and he turns me to face him slightly, his eyes are soft, loving even, and they draw me in, "It's not the colours that are important... It's what you have done to the place... Done to me, just you being here has changed everything so much for me... So thank you for not letting Mia have her way, your choices were much better suited, she would have ruined the place with her crazy ideas, so thank you for trusting your own instincts and judgement..." his voice stops as he notices my expression. My brow is furrowed, as a conversation I had, is replaying in my head and I have to know.

"Where you at you Mom's, the day I worked in her dining room?" I look into his eyes, there sheepish and he nods slowly, a small smile creeps on to my lips. I knew I wasn't crazy, I felt I was being watched, but to think he was actually there, why didn't he come in? "Why didn't you..." his eyes soften as he shakes his head.

"I couldn't face you Ana, I didn't want to scare you, I had screamed at you and just threw you out of here, I couldn't face you till I knew how much I'd frightened you, how..." his voice is low,

"Was your mom in on it too?" I ask, as I recall her constant topic of conversation,

"Yes... I asked her to get you there, no begged her to... I needed her to talk to you, I needed to talk to you but I couldn't... I..." I shake my head smiling, his voice sounds so passionate so heartfelt,

"Chrsitian it's fine, I think I felt you though... I remember feeling eyes on me, even when I was alone, I was wary about seeing you... So you were probably right to stay away. Talking to your mom helped ease me though, she fights your corner well" I smile, as I remember her talking with conviction about her son.

I take the last few sips of my tea, and place the cup on the floor beside me. I snuggle into him slightly, feeling me move, he slides down a little and opens his arms "Here, lean in" he whispers eyes wide. I lean back into him, the back of my head resting on his chest, his hand drops over my shoulder and I intertwine my fingers. He pulls the throw over us and I feel him relax and ease more into the cushions, I snuggle down further totally comfortable. The fire is blazing, the feel of the room is comfortable and magical, my eyes are drawn around the room watching the dancing firelight and my eyes rest on the armchair by the window, I notice my book is on the arm of the chair.

"Sorry I left my book" I mumble, I feel a soft chuckle leave him, and his arm tightens around me,

"You always looked so comfortable reading in that chair" his voice sounds dreamy, I turn my head and pull away from him to look up at him but his eyes are closed, and he has a smile on his lips,

"How?... You saw me reading...?" my tone questions, his smile widens, his eyes are still closed,

"This place has CCTV for security" he states matter of fact, god why didn't I realise that, of course a place like this would have a high tech security system... A thought hits me... Oh hell... I sit up more, turning to face him fully, his eyes reluctantly open, his smile still in place,

"You saw me go in" I whisper "You saw me go in, again... Oh god... I just thought Taylor had..." his hand rubs my arm comfortingly,

"Ana its fine, but that's why I needed to ask you, how much I had scared you, I saw your reaction, your revulsion, your..." his face saddens a touch, I squeeze his hand reassuringly and our eyes lock,

"No Christian it wasn't that bad... Not once I'd calmed down anyway" I giggle and he brushes my cheek. Then another thought takes over, double shit... I vaguely remember working and... Oh no the dancing... Oh hell no... The singing, my cheeks are burning and he starts to grin, I think he knows where I'm going to go with this,

"Does the CCTV have sound?" I ask quietly and he burst out laughing, knowing exactly where my shame is related,

"No... So can I listen to your Ipod" he laughs deeply now hugging me into him, I cover my face with my hands to hide my shame, on no..., he pulls my hands away and turns my face to him, his pleading eyes burn into mine.

"Ana please don't... Watching you here so happy, while I was away was a joy, I felt so connected to you. I want to see you reading in that chair, everyday... Eating breakfast every morning in the kitchen... I certainly want you in my bedroom, I want you here Ana, always... It doesn't feel the same without you now, I have finally realized how lonely this place was... How lonely I was." he brushes my face gently with his thumb, as his eyes close and he signs contented. I lean back into him as he pulls me close, my arm drops across his waist, and I nuzzle in, to hide my blush from yet another thought,

"Is CCTV everywhere?" I whisper, not sure that I really want to know the answer. I feel his chest rising softly under my cheek, his heartbeat a nice steady comforting rhythm in my ear, his voice vibrates through my cheek and I slowly smile,

"No, only the elevator, front hall, this main lounge area and my office. Why?" he mumbles. Thank goodness but... Now I have to tell him, oh crap, keeping my face low, I mumble, my voice is barely audible,

"I lay on your bed, after I changed your sheets... I..." I wait with baited breath for his reply and I feel it before I hear it. His soft laughter rings out, oh.. He doesn't seem to mind, that's good,

"Did you now?... No wonder I've been sleeping so well" his voice is still low, I feel his head shaking softly,

"Don't you usually?" I ask my brow furrowing,

"No" he whispers, I feel his hand start to slowly rub my shoulder and his fingers caress my neck, I look up at him his eyes now open,

"Why?" I can't help ask,

"That's a conversation for another time" he whispers, kissing my forehead. He pulls me close "Are you sure you don't want me to take you home?" He asks, I tighten my arms around him, I ain't going anywhere mister,

"It feels like I am home" I confess and his eyes glaze, his breathing slows,

"You said that in my office" he whispers as his hand rises and strokes my cheek,

"I know" is all I can manage, my body is starting to react to him,

"Do you still feel like that? After all I have told you? All you have seen?" he asks,

"Yes" I whisper, as my eyes close,

"God Ana..." he lowers his face to mine, I feel his breath warm my face and I melt. My face raises towards his and our lips finally touch, his hand cups my neck as my hand runs up his arm to do the same. I run my fingers further till they are pushing through this gloriously soft hair, I pull slightly and feel his response, a small gasp leaves me and his tongue finds mine. It's slow sensual, god its hot, I feel my breathing deepen, my heartbeat quicken as I instictivily pull him closer. He groans into my mouth and the kiss starts to deepen, his hand is running up and down my back, I feel the heat from his touch, I want...

"Oh Ana... Ana... Ana" he whimpers against my lips, his forehead rests on mine as his lips leave me. Oh no, come back... "God what you do to me woman" he breathes, as he looks into my eyes, I'm sure there begging and very needy. He chuckles softly, closing his hooded burning eyes, he kisses me hard and fast with no time for it to escalate, then pulls me into him, and we just fall into each other perfectly.

Curled up in his arms in front of the blazing fire, the heat gently warming my skin, I couldn't be happier, I snuggle in closer as I hear his soft sigh,

"This feels so good" he purrs, his eyes closed, his face peaceful,

"What?" I whisper, desperately trying not to ruin the mood,

"Lying here with you wrapped in my arms... I have never done this before" he's as much of a novice, at all of this, as me, and for some reason that makes me smile. I breathe in his warm scent, my eyes slightly rolling, god he's beautiful, and mine, my smile takes over now.

"Then I'm happy I'm here with you Christian... As first time cuddle sessions go, it's pretty special"

I feel his soft laughter vibrate through his chest and his breathing starts to slow. Within minutes, he is fast asleep, I move slightly and his arms tighten around me. Oh what the hell, I snuggle in reveling in his embrace and close my eyes, and sleep soon takes me to.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx T

As I roll in bed still half asleep, I reach for Gail. My eyes fly open when I realized the bed is empty, glancing at the clock I see its 4.15am.

Throwing off the covers, I go in search of Gail. As I leave our quarters I head into my office, and there she is curled up in my office chair, wrapped up in her housecoat hugging a coffee. She has tears slowing running down her cheeks, and with just the light from the computer lighting the room, she looks so beautiful. I walk over bend down to her and softly place a kiss on her forehead, she glances up at me finally realizing my presence, her weeping eyes widen,

"Sorry Jason, I never meant to wake you" she mumbles, quickly brushing the tears from her cheeks and sitting up a little straighter, she blushes slightly,

"You didn't baby, the bed was cold without you" cupping her face I catch a stray tear with my thumb "What's the matter baby? What upset you?" I ask but she shakes her head slowly,

"I'm fine Jason honestly... I'm just being silly..." taking her hand, I pull her from the chair, sit down and pull her into my lap,

"Baby if it's upset you, then it's important, please tell me maybe I can help..." she smiles and leans into me, head nuzzling into my chest. God I wanna get this woman back into bed she feels so good, I pull her closer,

"I'm sorry Jason, I know I'm not supposed to touch anything in here but I had to... I'm sorry... I needed to know... I couldn't sleep..." I can feel the heat from her blush on my chest, I gently pull her head from me, to look into her gorgeous come to bed eyes,

"Know what... Please Gail, what's upset you?" she giggles and leans behind us, to touch my computer keyboard and all the CCTV screens come to life. I pull her back into me and chuckle, "Oh Gail your such a romantic..." but the grin on my face will not subside. I just stare at the screen, she has done what I did yesterday and frozen certain screens at certainly places, boy she learns fast. I see clearly what has upset her, in a good way, but still with tears. Grey and Ana are curled up in each others arms, fast asleep in front of the fire, shit wonders will never cease... I can't help my grin,

"I'm sorry Jason, I..." she looks slightly sheepish but her joy is contagious,

"It's fine baby don't worry,"

"I just needed to know how things went, when you came home from Mr & Mrs Greys after dinner and mentioned how well things had gone, I couldn't stop thinking about them, so just had to have a peek. Look Jason, he played for her" and at the touch of a button, there they are at the piano, they look happy, shit... He looks happy, well blow me... He didn't blow it.

"Did they go upstairs?" Gail nods and changes the screen, I now see them both coming back out of the playroom and down the stairs, him grinning like the Cheshire cat, her looking like she's been hit in the face with a wet kipper, but she's still here, so it must have been too bad. I hope he hasn't "Did they go into the office" my voice sounds dull and Gail picks up on it and knows exactly what I mean,

"No, no... Well yes... But no paperwork, they were just chatting, I so wish this had sound" she blushes and I know she feels guilty for spying,

"No you don't Gail" with what I have heard at weekends over the years, she should be thankful there is no sound, she giggles with understanding,

"Your probably right. Jason it looks like they had a good night, she likes him, he looks so happy, so different... Jason do you think?..." she sighs wistfully, she so wants this for him,

"It's a little early to say yet Gail, don't you think? It's only been one night, who knows how he will fuck it up tomorrow, this is control freak extraordinar after all" girl giggles and swats at me, with her hand,

"Oh Jason don't... He seems so much calmer now, all weekend he was different, he couldn't find her but the tapes never showed him angry, so maybe..." I stand up, still holding Gail tightly in my arms, I switch off the computer with a spare finger and turn from the room, Gail's sweet breath is on my neck, as she snuggles in closer,

"Come on, lets get you back to bed... You can play Cupid in the morning... Sprinkle love dust on their pancakes... But for now... You need some shut eye, well in a bit" I whisper into her ear and her arms tighten around me, "Those two, will be fine baby, she's definitely not a sub... So you can but hope Gail... You can but hope".

A/N PLEASE REVIEW...


	17. 17 The Walk Of Shame

A/N THANK YOU ALL FOR YOU CONSTANT SUPPORT AND WONDERFUL REVIEWS.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx C

I wake with a start, realizing my heat source is missing, I relax instantly as I hear her giggle from the kitchen along with Gails hushed tones. Oh dear god... What will that woman be putting in her head? I stretch, not feeling half bad considering I slept propped up on the floor but I think with Ana in my arms I could sleep anywhere, I never even woke. I can't believe I fell asleep on her though, there was still so much I wanted to say, but I think all the stress and worry over the last few days, was finally put to rest because she was here with me and my body just gave out to contented bliss, as that's what I felt last night.

Having her here, just makes everything feel so right, I feel she is part of me, a part of me that I never fully realized was missing. Holding her, talking to her, all things I have never done before, never wanted to do before... Mean everything, just simple things that make me feel so close to her. I want to be closer to her... But this isn't just about sex. After what she discovered about me last night, there is no way I'm going to rush this, no way I'm going to rush her. With a smile, I sigh contentedly and push myself up from the floor.

As I approach the kitchen I know Gail has spotted me, Ana has her back to me, she is sitting at the breakfast bar holding a cup of tea and seems to be hanging off every word Gail is saying. As I get nearer, Gail's voice gets a little louder, all the better for me to hear her, I cringe.

"Miss Steele... Mr Grey is a good man, over look certain parts... Like his temper" her eyebrows rise to me and I shake my head with a bemused smile, Ana stares into her tea cup and giggles "I know you both could be so happy... He needs someone like you... Deserves someone like you... He has never been this way before with anyone... I want him happy... Give him a chance" Gail smiles at me and Ana turns, realizing I am behind her, she giggles, I lean into her, wrapping my arms around her waist pulling her back into my chest, I nuzzle her neck and whisper.

"Yes... Give me a chance" her response is a shiver that reaches even me, her arms wrap over mine as we just hold each other close, I feel her nod as my lips caress her neck.

"Sure why not" she jokes and Gail's face beams as she turns towards the stove,

"Pancakes in five minutes Mr Grey," Her voice sounds a little horse and I'm sure she's wiping her eyes with her tea towel, but she's not alone, I feel her joy.

"Thank you Gail" I reply and I hope she realizes, I'm thanking her for more than just breakfast.

I reluctantly pull away from Ana and sit next to her, helping myself to juice. "Morning Ana" I say softly, I notice her flush and she sighs with a smile, her eyes are warm, content.

"Good morning Christian" her voice purrs softly and vibrates through me, god this woman reaches me deeply, just hearing her say my name has my pulse racing.

"Did you sleep well?" I ask, I notice her flush as she picks up her tea.

"I slept very well thank you... Did you?" her voice is low as she glances up at me through her lashes, her blue eyes have me mesmerized, she is so beautiful.

"Yes Ana... I slept very well" how could she possibly understand it was one of the best nights sleep of my life, I vaguely hear Gail giggle. She knows first hand how my nights are spent and understands how special last night must have been, my eyes rise to hers, she blushes and composes herself,

"Sorry Mr Grey... Have you any idea, what you would like me to prepare for dinner this evening?" she is looking between the two of us, obviously trying to find out if Ana will still be here, and it has just dawned on me that she could have other plans. Just because I never want her to leave here, doesn't necessarily mean she feels the same, I suddenly feel very wary and anxious to know,

"Ana would you like to come here for dinner this evening?" my voice sounds calm but I am anything but. I see Ana glance between myself and Gail, her eyes sparkle,

"No thank you" she says as I feel my face fall, Gail look's devastated, god she said no... Now what? Before the depression hits I hear Ana giggle,

"I would like you to come to mine for dinner" I hear Gail sigh with relief and I notice Ana wink at her, she laughs openly and returns to the stove.

"With pleasure Miss Steele, I would love to join you for dinner" I have a stupid grin on my face, my body eased with the comfort of knowing I will see her again. Just then Taylor enters the kitchen,

"Morning Mr Grey, Miss Steele" he nods towards us both, "What time do you want to head into work Sir?" shit it never entered my head.

"I won't be going in today Taylor, I have a guest" I state proudly, I hear Gail gasp, see Taylor's eyebrows shoot up and feel Ana's tension. Turning to her I place my hand over hers, "What would you like to do today Ana?" I notice her brow furrow slightly, her teeth claim her lip, as she looks up at me shaking her head slowly.

"Christian, you have to go into work it's important, you..." forget work I want to be with you.

"Ana I own the company, I can come and go as I choose, and I choose to stay here with you" so there. I smile realizing how childish this all seems, how keen and eager I am, to just be with her.

"Christian I have to go home, need to check in with Kate, I ..." Her eyes look happy but I sense her need to go, but I don't want her to.

"Kate is fine she was with Elliot, I'm more than sure, he has looked after her, so..." she shakes her head with a smile, eyes still sparkling, god I just want to look at her all day... Every day...

"Christian go into work, I have a few things to do today so I will see you at seven" her voice is adamant, I notice Taylor take Gails hand and lead her from the room. So they think this is gonna get heated, well not today it's not.

"Fine... I will be with you at six, straight from the office..." I state, that's my compromise.

"Please Christian, after work just come home, shower, change and chill, I will see you at seven" her voice is chirpy, chill, how on earth will I be able to chill after being without her all day,

"Fine seven... Not a minute later" I state once more, she giggles and jumps from the stool and stand in front of me,

"I should hope not Mr Grey now if you don't mind, I would like to keep these clothes to go home in, I don't really want to do the walk of shame" her cheeks flush but the humor in her eyes is contagious, and I find myself smiling along with her. She has not got anything to feel shameful for, "In last nights dress and heels, at least this way people will think I've been out for a run" she jokes, looking down at her T and very large sweats. I will have to get Gail to pick her up a few things, or she could just move straight in... God I've got this so bad, my face beams,

"Ana you don't have to walk anywhere, Taylor will drive you, then come back for me"

"Thank you Christian" she leans in to kiss my cheek, but I need more than that, my arms pull her close to me. I feel the heat from her reach me as our bodies connect, she sighs as her arms circle my neck, and I lean in to kiss her. Our lips meet, and the slow sensual battle begins, I feel her hands run through my hair tugging gently and my cock twitches against her thigh. She groans into my mouth after feeling my response, and god I want to just throw her onto the breakfast bar. What this woman does to me. Calling on all my restraint, I slow our kiss down, and break contact in all the right places, to allow my body to calm... Like hell, only a shower is going to help me now.

"Oh Ana what you do to me, go before I lose all of my self control" she giggles despite being a little breathless. I pull her hands from behind my neck and kiss her quickly one more time. Her eyes are dark, hooded, she wants me, I feel it pouring out of her, but god no... Not here, not now, not like this.

"Taylor" I call urgently, he reappears quickly,

"Yes sir" he asks as he glancing between the two of us, looking for battle scars no doubt, I smile,

"Taylor, please drive Miss Steele back to her apartment, then head back here for me" he nods trying to hide his surprize, see, I can be reasonable.

"Certainly Mr Grey, this way Miss Steele" Taylor jestures to the elevator,

"I will see you this evening Christian... Have a good day" Ana utters as she squeezes my hand and I reluctantly let her go.

"Taylor drive safely" I call after them, my voice is full of concern. Taylor catches my eye, I see his reassuring nod.

"As always Mr Grey" and my body sags as I watch her head towards the elevator with Taylor. Oh today is going to drag.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx T

As the elevator doors close I glance down at Ana, she's bouncing softly on the balls of her bare feet, humming to herself, her dress and shoes are in a bag Gail provided. I shake my head with a chuckle, as she peeks up at me with a smile on her face.

"How you doing Taylor?" she asks me, her eyes alive,

"I'm fine Miss Steele" I nod professionally, as she giggles.

"Please, call me Ana when Christian isn't around... Did you have a good weekend?" her eyes grow brighter, she's a happy little thing,

"Yes thank you, did you have a good evening?" I raise my brow at her blush, she probably thinks, I think, they got down and dirty,

"Very good, thank you Taylor" her eyes cloud over slightly, she bites her lip, oh yes... She had a very good time,

"Mr Grey seems... Jovial this morning?" I can't help tease,

"Does he now" she smiles, then I see her eyes darken, worry bites at the corners, "Does he really Taylor?... He said I could ask you what he is really like... How he..." she looks so worried, god she really has no idea what she has done to him. I better be careful what I tell her, if I point out all his bad point now, he will never see her again.

"Ana, despite what you know, what you have now seen, Mr Grey is a good man, try and overlook his troubled past, help him move on and trust in yourself, your very beneficial to him" there that will help put her mind at rest. I can't really tell her he will drive her nuts with his controlling issues, but that's okay, because he will fuck you so hard, that you will be bow legged for a week... Can I?

"Am I now" she giggles, her worry's eased a bit I think.

"Yes, Ana the way he is with you... And I don't want to upset you... But I have seen Mr Grey with his past so called friends... And they have nothing on you" I hear her breath catch, and she eyes me eager for more details. "Ana the way he has been the last few days is so unlike him, he's a cold bastard he..." her full blown laughter pulls me up short.

"He called himself that to" she laughs, and I smile down at her, she's a lovely little thing, he better not fucking blow this, but he has definitely changed "Ana he has to be cold, hard and driven, with the responsibility he has, he can't let his guard down, not even for a minute or the vultures will strike, but Ana... Four years I have known him, four years, and in all that time, I have never seen him like this, he truly feels for you Ana, please give him a chance" I'm going to demand a pay rise after this, she smiles up at me eyes wide hopeful, god if I'm not mistaken, she is totally loved up,

"Gail said the same" she utters with a giggle, I roll my eyes, why am I not surprised.

"She's a smart woman Gail, you should listen to her" I confirm, I smile knowing Gail is going to be happy and a happy Gail is a playful Gail, oh roll on tonight.

"I think I will... Now get me home already so I can start planning for tonight" she smiles widely her eyes ablaze, oh I don't think am the only one, who's going to get some tonight...

"Of course Miss Steele" and she bounces out of the elevator as the doors open, eager to get into the SUV.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A

As I enter my apartment I check the mail and put on the kettle, just as I pull a cup from the cupboard I hear Kate's key turn in the lock. She walks in looking like death warmed up, she definitely partied hard.

"God yes Ana... Please do one of those for me" she walks in and flops on the couch. She looks so ruff, in last night's clothes, smudged makeup and god only knows, what has gone on with her hair, Kate has so, had the walk of shame. I smile making her a coffee and taking it over to her,

"Morning sleepy head" I sing as she takes the cup gratefully,

"I never got any sleep" she giggles, a flush taking over her cheeks,

"You and Elliot that good hey" I tease, as she sighs dreamily,

"Oh Ana you wouldn't believe" she hugs her coffee cup, her eyes dreamy obviously recalling last night,

"What are you up to tonight?" I ask, please have plans, I so want this place to myself, she laughs,

"I hope the same as last night but I don't think that this time tomorrow, I will be able to walk" she giggles, god she's terrible, her eyes catches mine, oh no...

"What about you and the mighty Mr Grey... Spill Ana, I want details... All details" she drawls, sorry Kavanagh you ain't getting nothing,

"There isn't any" I tell her truthfully, as the details she wants, don't exist, Her face looks shocked, then her brow creases.

"You never turned him down did you?" she asks in a stunned voice, her eyes widen. As if, everytime I look at him, I want to just rip his clothes off,

"He never asked me Kate" I shake my head at her, knowing I must look alittle disappointed. Her eyes are frozen wide, she's gobsmacked. "Kate... I need your help... I want too, tonight... But what shall I do... You know... To get him in the mood" my voice trails off as I feel the blush rise and I know I'm chewing on my lip, she rolls her eyes as she belly laughs,

"I can't believe it didn't happen... But you only need to breathe Ana, only need to breathe... The way he looks at you... You need no help, but a little titillation never hurt, so set the mood, make it memorable" I nod eagerly, hoping her tips on seduction will come to fruition,

"What were you thinking" she asks, her eyebrows raised, swigging her coffee,

"Well he is coming for dinner, please say you're going out" she nods, the cup still in her mouth,

"Dinner is a good start... Why not eat on the roof? I will talk to Bernie, make sure the lights are on, and the doors are locked, it's really lovely up there. The guy that used to own the top floor, had a wooden gazebo built, its lovely, covered in climbers and creepers, it also has muslin drapes, so can be very private, there are lights too, it's a lovely setting for a bit of hanky panky," she teases, I flush but revel in the thought, it sounds wonderful,

"Oh Kate that sounds perfect, do you think Bernie would.." my worry bites, Bernie's a nice guy, but...

"Leave Bernie to me, what's the point of being friendly with the super, if you don't take advantage once in a while. Don't worry, tonight will be perfect, we will need candles, music and great food, Mr G will be putty in your hands... How could he resist... So what did you and Christian do all night if there was no jiggy jiggy?" she asks with a smirk,

"We talked, just hung out, got to know each other, the usual, how about you? Did you talk to Elliot?" she scoffs and stretches,

"Oh there is plenty of time for talking when you're old and gray" she winks. "You've got to live a little" a cocked eye brow, now meets her smirk,

"Oh I intend to, starting with tonight" I sigh heavily, as she chuckles, I so want to get close to Christian, the few kisses we have shared have been mind blowing and I so want more, just the thought of him touching me, has me quivering,

"Good, lets get you ready then" she pulls herself from the couch and heads to the kitchen, pouring herself more coffee,

"What for?" I ask confused,

"Ana you need to prepare, allow me to teach you the ways, of a horny woman" and she drags me into the bathroom.

.

As I wait for him to arrive I'm a bag of nerves, my bones have definitelly left the building, god only knows how I'm still on my feet. Thanks to Kate, I am now shaved, buffed and plucked within an inch of my life, literally. Who knew there was so much involved, I so hope it's not in vain. Kate has supplied me with one of her easy access dresses, she thinks of everything, in her words, you don't want to be getting tangled up in your clothes at the wrong moment, or looking like you've been dragged through a bush after taking your top off.

So here I am, in a dark plum cross over shift dress that ties on the hip, for very easy access, it's very clingy, very sexy, very not me... To top it all, well to topple me I think, I am in a pair of Kate's, fuck me heels yet again, god my hamstrings hate her, but hey they do make my legs look good. I'm wearing my own underwear though, with kates careful planning today, we had a window to visit the local Victoria secret, so now here I am in a beautiful, sexy matching set, Kate wanted hot, wanting, wild, rip it from me now red, but I think he's had enough of that, so I chose something in cream. I don't think the irony will be lost on him, and I giggle at the thought of him finding out. My make up is natural but my hair curls, big and sexy, and I feel good, Kate's make over has definitely boosted my confidence.

God I so hope all this works.

I giggle to myself, as an errant thought and a shiver runs through me, god what that man makes me feel is unbelievable, we have kissed only a few times, but god those kisses we definitely knee jerkers and god my body wants more... Much more... A lot more. God what's got into me? I have never, ever had this reaction to a man before and I so want to try tonight and hopefully with a little help from Kate, this night will be perfect.

As much as I love Escala, I don't want my first time to be there, I know he said that none of his previous guests, have ever shared his bedroom but still... Far too many ghosts for me. Silly I know, but I want my first time to be special and it's his too, technically, so I think neutral ground is best and the roof looks wonderful, Kate and Bernie have done an amazing job.

God I do hope he likes lasagna.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx C

I have been bouncing around my office all day, I have missed her so much. All day something was missing, I constantly found myself just starting at the wall in my office, trying to seek some type of comfort but it wasn't enough, I needed to be with her but I had to wait... Until now.

"Drive faster Taylor" I snap, I ignore his smirk and raised eyebrow, I know he feels how anxious I am to see her, it's dripping off me...

As we turn the corner and her block is in sight, I visibly relax but before the car has even stopped properly, I'm already half way out the door,

"Mr Grey" I hear Taylor call, he doesn't sound happy at all.

I dive into the building by-passing the elevator, it's not quick enough and take the stairs two at a time. I am soon outside her door, quickly composing myself I tap on her door. God I just wana rip it down, seconds later my hand rises again but the door swings open and there she is, as sexy as hell, as welcoming as hell.

"Good evening Miss Steele" I drool, taking a step towards her, she locks my eyes and steps back... Oh the dance has begun... I step forward wrapping my arm round her waist pulling her to me, she gasps, as she is pulled into my chest, her small hands resting softly once again on my lapels. I lower my head and run my nose up her soft elegant neck inhaling deeply as I do, I smile as I feel her quiver.

"Oh I have missed you today Miss steele" I whisper into her ear, her body sags, her breathing quickens and her eyes roll,

"Oh me too Mr Grey... Me too" she purrs.


	18. 18 Special First Date's

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx C

As she bows in my arms, with her fingers in my hair, her legs are entwined with mine, I feel her hot breath on my lips, her tongue is dancing with mine. Her fingers start pulling gently, and a low moan escapes me. My scalp is alive, tingling, I have shivers running down my spine. I run one hand slowly up her slender neck letting it rest at the nape, my body instantly responds to her shiver, my other hand, traces slowly down her back, over the swell of her cheek till it rests on the top of her thigh squeezing her gently, her moan fuels my need for her, I... I hear shuffling in the hallway behind me, only now realizing I haven't closed the door, a discrete cough comes from the door.

"Excuse me Sir, will there be anything else?" Taylors voice reaches me, I'm so going to fire him, still holding Ana, I mumble against her lips,

"No Taylor... Go home... I will call if I need anything" before I even hear the door close, our kiss has begun again. Ana's hands, which are still in my hair, pull me gently to her, her breathing is hot fast consuming. Stop woman please, or I will have to take you on the floor. I pull away breathless, we both physical sag trying to recapture our breath, god I want to touch her, feel her, and by the looks of her she wants that too. Shaking my head to clear it, I stand tall, discreetly trying to readjust my now far to uncomfortable trousers. Ana stands straightening her dress her eyes are wide and hungry... God she's enticing.

"You seem pleased to see me Ana" I breathe as she blushes, nipping on her lip,

"I am Christian, very pleased to see you" her voice matches her hunger, I'm right there with you baby,

My eyes pull away from her face to take her all in, she looks stunning in a tight figure hugging dress, fuck me heels accentuating her gorgeous legs. Her hair is wild and tempting, her flushed cheeks just add to her allure "Well you look lovely Miss Steele" I complement as I notice Ana drink me in, a slow drawl from foot to head. I feel my cock twitch as her eyes widen, as she lingers on my swollen crotch, biting her lip hard her eyes meet mine,

"As do you Mr Grey... Would you like a drink?" she asks as a distraction, for me or her I'm not sure which,

"Please... Oh wait" I turn in the front door, open it and on the floor is the bottle I so hastily left in the car with Taylor. Picking it up, I head back in, "Here I came prepared" she takes the offered bottle, and giggles.

"It's pink" she notes as her eyes light up,

"Yes, Bollinger Grande Annee Rose 1999, shall I open it?" I ask as she shakes her head,

"I have a bottle to accompany dinner, so save it for later" a flush hits her cheeks and she lowers her eyes, oh god what does she have planned for later? I ache to find out,

"Are you hungry?" she asks innocently, oh yes Miss Steele I'm ravenous. I hold her gaze and nod slowly, and I nearly lose it as her tongue slowly caresses her top lip. I step forward the same time she does and once again out lips do battle but only briefly. We both pull away laughing, "Dinner will be cold at this rate" she whispers,

"Then lead the way Miss Steele, this man needs to eat" she flushes, god her body is so responsive, words, innuendos, slight touches have her reeling, I can't wait to touch her but we're taking this at her pace,

She turns and heads over to the kitchen, picking up a covered tray she hands it to me, my eyebrows lift in jest, "Are we eating on our knees in front of the tv Miss Steele?" her soft laughter fills the room,

"Of course not... Follow me" she too has a tray the bottle of Bolly and two glasses, she heads for the front door, I'm distracted by her legs as she walks by frozen momentarily, she laughs softly "Quick the food will get cold" I follow her out the door which closes behind us and head for the stairwell,

"Where are we going?" I ask a little confused, she turns eyes wide and eager,

"The roof" she anwsers with a glint in her eye,

"Why?"

"You'll see" her mood is contagious as I find myself laughing with her running up the stairs, two flights later we hit the roof.

Ana's face is bright excited, her grin is wide as she pushes the door open with her hip, she urges me forward with a slight nod, "After you Mr Grey" she looks nervous suddenly but the fire is still burning in her eyes, what has she been up to? As I step past her, I gently kiss her brow, her eyes close as she lets out a contented breath I smile and step onto the roof.

The scene she has set before me, screams seduction... God she had me at hello... But still... This is wonderful, I step forward slowly just taking in the effort and thought in her gesture. A wooden gazebo stands proud in the middle of the roof, the roof of which, is virtually covered in lush greenery long ivy arms trail down the sides, lights intertwined, the sides are open but the muslin drapes have been close, the open front drapes are swaged to form the entrance, a large rattan love sofa takes center stage inside. Sitting in front of the gazebo is a small wrought iron table and chairs set for two, candles flowers the works, the table is protected by a large wicker parasol that has lights running along all its spokes like a big wagon wheel, it looks amazing and I can't contain my awe,

"Ana you did all this..." I walk slowly to the table and place down my tray, I hear Ana lock the door and head over, I turn round to face her,

"Kate helped and Bernie the super, I know it's a bit much... But I wanted our first night, first date to be special and... Well " she looks a bit embarrassed, I step into her and cup her cheek caressing her lip with my thumb,

"Ana it's amazing no one has ever done anything like this for me before... Thank you" I kiss her hard and swift and feel her respond,

"It's my pleasure Mr Grey" she whispers against my lips, I drink her in with a deep breath,

"That it is Miss Steele... That it is " and I quickly place my hand under her tray before she drops it.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A

Dinner has gone well we have conversed easily, enjoy comfortable silences, where our eyes have done most of the talking, flirted a little and generally we have reveled in each others company. Our conversation has been light, generale get to know each other banter but I feel he needs to say more. Last night when he opened up so much after only being together a few hours, I don't think he got it all out, I see a look hit his face just for a split second every now and then, that tells me he needs to talk.

"Did you enjoy dinner?" I ask to open up the conversation,

"I did thank you Ana, it was delicious, and all of this" his eyes sweep the roof, still slightly awe filled, "Means a lot, I have never done anything like this before, business dinners, family functions, galas, but nothing so... Intimate... I've really enjoyed myself" he leans over the table and takes my hand, I rest my other over his. "Ana I feel so at ease with you, I don't know what you've done to me, but these past few days I have not been able to stop thinking about you, everything seems to have shifted, everything has changed, I have changed, certain things don't seem so important now, I have new goals" he clutches my hand his eyes passionate, I'm just lost dumstuck once again, he doesn't do things by halves.

"Christian you can't change everything for me, you don't even know me" how could he feel so much after such a short time? I so want to believe it because I feel it to But...

"Yes I do Anastasia... Like you I feel you, I'm drawn to you on some level I don't understand... I love your mannerisms... Do you know how many times in a day you bite your lip?... Or brush this one strand of hair that won't behave behind this ear?" he releases my hand and sweeps the said piece of hair behind my ear, gently caressing my cheek as he does, my heart flutters and my eyes hood at the contact, I smile as he sighs. "I have to change for you Ana... I want to, I have never wanted anything more... It feels so right" he looks sad suddenly, I touch his cheek forcing him to meet my eyes. "Ana I don't feel... I can't feel... But with you its so different I need you... When you touched me... on my chest" I look intently at him and his face has saddened, around his eyes the tension is forming something is troubling him I can feel it, never mind see it.

Taking his hand I stand and move around the table, I pick up the pink Bolly the two champagne flutes and pull him gently to his feet, "Come on, lets go and sit down talk properly" I manage to say, even though the thought of being so close to him has my heart pounding in my ears, I probably won't be able to hear him. He lets me lead him into the gazebo and he sits down, he takes the bottle from me and expertly opens it, he sits back into the sofa and leans into the soft cushions, he opens his arms with a smile. I kick off my heels and settle next to him passing him a glass, he fills both glasses hands me the bottle, which I place on the floor and he leans me back into him, all is quiet for a time but I can still feel his tension.

"Christian you can talk to me, I won't..." I feel him relax as he starts to stroke my hair, taking sips from his glass, I lean into him further enjoying his touch.

"I have a lot of baggage Ana, lots of issues mental as well as physical, I have always been abhorrent to touch, even as a child grace couldn't get close, I have physical and mental scars... No one has ever gotten close to me... But when you touched me, when you fell into my arms, I have never felt that before, it was only for a second but I can still feel it Ana... I want to feel it again" his voice is passionate, my heart twists, I feel it too.

"Christian, it can't be so quick and easy to change, to so easily give up your rules, your relationships, it's been part of your life for so long, how do you know that you won't still need that Dominant lifestyle? Or at least want to visit it once in a while, why do you think I would be enough for you?" the thought is a painful one, but I couldnt keep it to myself any longer, can people change so quickly?, I feel it from him, see it, but can I truly believe it? I want to.

"Ana, if you knew me before you fell into my arms you wouldn't be asking me this, but since you didn't... Thankfully" he chuckles as he kisses my head, "I will try to help you understand" he sits up slightly, he shuffles getting us both comfy I'm more curled into him now on my side, "Flynn said..."

"Who's Flynn?" I butt in, I've never heard of him before,

"Sorry he's my Dr... My shrink" he rolls his eyes in an attempt to make this humorous and it works, as I giggle, "Dr John Flynn is my shrink, I have been seeing him for a few years now and well... He knows everything, everything about me" he sounds at ease his body radiates calm so his shrink must help him, I never realized his problems called for a shrink, something terrible must of happened to this wonderful man for him to need BDSM and a shrink, god I hope I have broad shoulders, I feel able to cope, but only time will tell.

"Have you seen him lately" my voice is low, curious,

"I have seen him twice since I met you" my eyes widen and I glance up at him, god I drive him to a shrink now. When, my eyes plead.

"Over the weekend when I couldn't locate you and while Taylor wasn't around to shout at, I spoke to Flynn, then I had him fit me in for a session today, I needed to talk to him... About you" I hold my tongue not wanting any more of my brain malfunctioning questions, to derail him,

"I told him all about you Anastasia... How we met, what you have done to my home, and I can call it that now... How I pursued you and kept you busy so I could see you..." he looks down wistfully smiling softly, his hand cups my neck, the contact causes my eyes to close, and my mouth to smile. "I told him what I feel you have done to me... How I feel when I'm with you... Now Flynn used a lot of jargon and long words but basically... He thinks I have been unhappy, unfulfilled with my half existence for longer than I have realized and subconsciously I've wanted change, craved change, just didn't know how to go about it" his soft lips brush my hair, his eyes are closed.

"He believes, I have craved to give and receive love, that I wanted and needed to be part of something, other than a family that I don't think I belong to anyway... And I believe he's right Ana... I feel it with you" still cupping my neck he turns me to meet him as his head leans down towards me, he places a long soft kiss on my forehead and sighs deeply. Pulling away he looks deep into my eyes, stroking my lip he whispers "That has to be a good thing, this has to be a good thing... This is the strongest emotion I have ever felt" his voice starts to climb filled with raw emotion, "Above all fear, pain, abandonment..." his eyes cloud, and I know it hurts him to talk about these things, I can feel it, so I cherish his honesty.

He gently pulls my chin playfully and lays back further opening his arms in mock defeat, I smile at his sudden change in mood, he seems happier now, free somehow, I wait eagerly for him to continue, "So Flynn has advised and encouraged me... To go with the flow..." he laughs softly and wraps his arms around me pulling me into him, it's a good job my glass is empty, otherwise I'd be drenched, I wrap my arm over his waist and place my glass beside him, pulling him close, I look up into his now happy playful eyes, my eyebrows lift.

"He said that?... A Dr told you... To go with the flow" I can't help my laughter, shaking my head softly, Christian holds me tight laughing into my hair, the heat from his breath sending shivers through me, I snuggle closer,

"Well in layman's terms, that's what he meant" Christian states, he brushes his hand through my hair and turn my face to his, I shake my head slowly

"Your crazy" I whisper, as his thumb brushes my cheek, I feel my legs go weak my pulse quicken,

"Yes Miss Steele, I think I am... But Ana you have nothing to worry about" his eyes are warm, convincing, adamant, "A sterile contract does not appeal, I want to be with you," his smile widens as he brushes my hair yet again behind my ear, "You make me so happy Ana... Stress isn't going to be an issue, so unless we decide to play, my room upstairs is surplus to requirements... For now" his smile is salacious sexy, and I feel it run through me, God my body is craving the need to know... Just how accessible Kates dress really is.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx C

This night has been so new to me, the surroundings, the company, the closeness, all new experiences for me, and I'm so glad Ana gave me the chance to experience all of this. My mind starts to wander as I think of all the things we can share together, places I can take her, I feel so close to her, I tighten my grip on her and pull her into me further, her arm is wrapped around me, her head on my chest, her contented breath matching my own, I feel wanted for the first time. Her soft voice pulls me back,

"Christian, how does no one know about all of this? About what your... The women could have so easily told the press" I shake my head,

"All my submissive where contracted, so that includes all paperwork, including a Non Disclosure Agreement" I feel her stiffen and pull away to look up at me her eyes seem worried, what?...

"I haven't signed one" her brow furrows "Would you like me to?" I shake my head with a chuckle, she has no idea,

"Ana you saved me from my sister... Before you even knew me... I trust you with all that I am, as bad as that may be" I feel her relax and lay herself back down, I notice her shift slightly, I imagine the close contact we are sharing is getting to her, reading her body language, she's as hungry as I am. I gently run my fingers through her hair, lost in the tranquility of all of this, she made such an effort, I'm so thankful to have met her, then a thought hits, and I laugh, slightly bewildered, oh fate is cruel, Ana feels my reaction, and her eyes lift to mine, I take her chin, and just gaze into her beautiful face.

"We could have met before you know" her eyes widen, asking how "I should have been at your graduation" a soft gasp escapes her, she nods slightly as realization dawns,

"Yes I remember now, god I'm so glad you didn't, I would have passed out on stage after shaking your hand" her flush is beautiful, her giggle contagious, "So what happened? Why were you a no show?" she asks,

"My number one Ros, was ill, so I had to attend a meeting scheduled for her... We could have... So much sooner..." I feel my mood turn regretful, her hand rubs my side gently, consoling,

"But we got here in the end" she whispers, looking into her deep blue eyes, my head nods,

"Yes we did... I'm so thankful to Mia for bumping into you and so glad Gia was busy" I feel her tense slightly at the mention of Gia's name, "What is it?" I urge,

"Can I ask you about her?" her eyes lower, what could possibly worry her about Gia?

"Of course, ask me anything"

"Have you and her... Has she ever been into..." her head lowers further as she tries to break eye contact, I raise her chin back up with a soft finger, looking into her eyes reassuringly I hope but the chuckle escapes,

"No Ana never... Not at all, Gia is so not my type" the thought of Gia does not appeal at all, far to predatory, "Why would you ask? Has she said something to you?" she shakes her head, ease in her features now,

"No, she just seems a bit wary of you that's all, have you shouted at her too?" I know she's teasing, probably trying to hide her embarrassment for asking such a question in the first place but I will tell her the truth and ease her worries,

"I have worked with Gia in the past, so of course I have had call to shout at her, but Gia is well... Let's just say I have had to... Refuse her advances... A few times, so maybe her pride is hurt but Ana you do not need to worry about Gia" I state adamantly, she smiles up at me, then I notice a flush reach her cheeks and her pupils dilate. Quickly without warming, she takes her glass from the cushion, sits up and swings her legs onto the floor and picks up the bottle, while filling her glass, I hear her soft cautious voice.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A

"Would you refuse my advances?" I whisper, oh floor swallow me now. I can't believe I have said that out loud, thank god I had the sense to turn from him. I hear a giggle and feel the cushions move as he comes behind me, I feel his finger brush my hair pulling it away from my shoulder exposing my neck, as his finger trails my skin the breath leaves me, I instinctively arch into his touch, his lips reach my neck, his voice is slow and whispered,

"Are you trying to seduce me Miss Steele" God yes... My need for him hasn't subsided, from the first initial kiss, as Kate would put it, I am definitely horney...

"Oh I hope so, Mr Grey... I..." My voice purrs as I lean into him, he shifts pulling himself forward sitting next to me, his arm travels slowly up my back under my hair to rest on my neck, his thumb slowly brushes my skin. I glance up at him flushed and breathless, eyes slightly unfocused, a sexy smile to his lips, god he so knows what he's doing, my whole body is about to convulse.

"Oh Anastasia there is no trying needed, I'm sure I will be like every other man who has ever crossed your path and swoon at your feet, should you show me the slightest sign" even with my body a quivering mess, I feel myself flinch slightly, his eyes instantly tighten,

"That many..." his voice is wary,

"No Christian not that many" I mumble, oh hell...

"Are we talking double figures?" his voice is low, I see the tension that has built around his eyes, why is he asking this? He obviously doesn't like the idea... God my answer will knock him out, how the hell do I tell him? Oh dear...

"Christian my sexual encounters have been..." I feel his hand still, his eyes lower, his torso straightens slightly as he prepares for my reply, I bite my lip close my eyes and internally cringe. Here goes, "Very limited... I... I have had a few dates, was escorted to prom... I have a few male friends but I have... Never actually... You know..." I glance up, he's stone still just staring at the floor, I watch the expression which I cannot read anyway, fall from his face, he just stares stunned not even blinking.

"Christian... Christian" I place my hand on his cheek, I caress his lips with my thumb, still no response, I stand and move in front of him, still no sign of life, "Christian" I giggle now, I have truly shocked him to the core.

I lean in and cup his face, I slowly move towards him and place my lips to his, a swift gentle kiss, one I eagerly repeat but I don't escape this time. His lips respond ensnaring mine, deep powerful hot, his lips move mine in a sensual battle as his moan escapes my tongue follows entering his mouth, I reveling in the heat and feel of his tongue. He stands quickly, his hands curl me, pulling me flat to him no space between us, I feel the swelling of him gently heat my groin and I groan,

"Oh Christian" he slowly pulls away, urgently he holds my eyes with his, there hot burning ravenous, god I want him, to feel him, touch him, oh god I want him to touch me. His face softens and a stupid grin takes hold of him, taking my face in his hands, he shakes his head bewildered.

"Ana... You've never..." he asks, total bewilderment in his voice, Oh yes... He's right there with Kate, he's gobsmacked. I shake my head to confirm,

"No I. ..." with a joyful laugh, he pulls me upwards off my feet into his arms and starts to spin round and round,

"God Ana do you know what this all means..." I stare shaking my head like an idiot, his face is alive eyes bright, "You're mine in every way... Mine... Totally mine" he stops suddenly, putting me back on my feet. Taking my face in his hands he kisses me hard, then gently caresses my bottom lip with his tongue, I feel his lips move as he whispers "And I shall be yours, totally yours... God let me make love to you Ana?" his eyes are alive his breath is hot on my face, I can hardly breathe I want him so much,

"God Christian yes... Yes" my voice is husky needy, my body on the verge of collapse, he leans in to kiss me then suddenly straightens, "Ana... As this is our first time... We're going to do this right" he plants a kiss on my nose, releases me and bends down and picks up my shoes. My brow furrows, he just grins as I squeele, as he picks me up and throws me over his shoulder, my giggles get louder as we head for the door,

"Christian were are we going?" I ask with a giggle, he slaps my behind and laughs, unlocking the door he heads down the stairs,

"Patience dear woman, I want us to do this properly" he hugs my thighs tight to him and I helplessly just go with the flow...

Half way down the many flights of stairs, I see Christian pull his blackberry from his trouser pocket, who the hell could he be calling? Were going to bed arn't we?...

"This is Christian Grey, I will be with you in fifteen minutes, have your best room ready and prepared... That will be fine, all extras... Thank you"

Room... Room...what room? Where the hell is he taking me...


	19. 19 The Perfect Night

A/N ONCE AGAIN THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR YOUR REVIEWS AND SUPPORT, YOU HAVE ALL BEEN A GREAT HELP TO MOVE THIS STORY ON. SO HERE IT IS... MY FIRST 'LEMON' I HAVE PUT IT OFF FOR 18 CHAPTERS, BUT IT'S FINALLY CAUGHT UP WITH ME. I JUST HOPE IT DOESN'T DISAPPOINT.

ENJOY...;))

THANK YOU EL JAMES. RESPECT TO MOTUxx

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A

"Christian... Where are we going?" is the first thing out my mouth as my feet hit the street outside, he is on one knee in front of me, helping me put on my shoes, he looks up at me still grinning,

"You'll see" his eyes are alive, bright, excited, he stands kisses me hard and quick, then urgently starts scanning the street, he takes hold of my hand pulling me over to the kerb. He is rubbing his thumb gently across the back of my hand, such minimum contact, yet my body is still reacting but I'm feeling a little apprehensive now as much as I want to do this.

"We're not going to some crazy ball and chain room are we?" I blurt out before I realize,

He laughs heartily turning to me "God no Ana... Maybe one day" he drools leaning in to kiss me hard, "I just want to do this right" he's excited but anxious, nervous even, but his eyes are alive,

"So where are we going?" I still need to know where he's taking me,

"Fairmount Olympic" he states, his waving for a cab pays off as one pulls up to the kerb,

"You really want to go to a hotel?" my eyes widen, what goes through his head? he nods, placing his hand on my cheeks he then pulls me close,

"Ana I want this to be perfect for you... For us... Just imagine, four poster bed... Open roaring fire... Champagne..." he runs his nose up my neck breathing softly, I feel my eyes close and roll, my hands grip his, his voice is husky vibrating up my neck, "No interruptions... Except for room service" totally reeling from the contact and anticipation my brain doesn't think to pause me,

"Do you not just want to stay here?" I mutter, I don't think I can wait until we get to a hotel, my bed is so much closer, he smiles shaking his head, knowing exactly what I mean,

"Ana the roof was wonderful don't doubt that... But how long would it be before Kate came home? Or Bernie came to check the roof?... Or daylight hit" he smiles wickedly, sending my body into a quiver he leans in to whisper, "When we do this, eight hours is not going to be enough... We need to be alone... For as long as needed" he straightens and kisses me softly "So hotel?" his eyes question, his sexy grin sending my knees to jelly, totally swept away I just nod numbly chewing my lip in anticipation, God yes... A hotel now sounds perfect.

In a total daze I get into the cab, as we head off I'm just lost, totally entranced with him, I don't take my eyes off him. I don't remember the cab ride, don't remember entering the hotel or checking in. I'm still lost in him as we sweep through the hotel's magnificent lobby, up the grand staircase that lead to the elevators. The short ride up to our floor and entering the room is also a blur, but now here I am in our room, with my back to the door and he's a few feet away, he walks towards me slowly cupping my face he kisses me softly.

"Please stay here for one minute okay?... I will be right back" I watch him head off into the bedroom. I stand in awe at the grandeur of the beautiful room, I barely notice the lavish furniture, the vastness of the place, as my eye is drawn to a piano in the corner, I smile at the memory. Oh yes this place is perfect.

Where is he?... As my foot moves away from the door he appears, he walks over eyes locked with mine, his breathing is labored, his eyes are wide, as he reaches me he takes my hand and walks me forward to the bedroom door. My eyes take in the perfect scene. The lights are low, the fires lit, illuminating the room beautifully, the grand four poster bed is turned down looking inviting, red rose petals scattered on the crisp white sheets, champagne is on ice on the bedside table along with a large complimentary basket, full of all types of sweets, fruits and cheeses... It's perfect. I turn to look at him his eyes are eager.

"This is perfect Christian... Thank you" I whisper, he smiles brightly,

"I want this to be special... Come on" and he sweeps me up into his arms walks into the bedroom and closes the door behind us.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx C

As we enter the bedroom, I have Ana in my arms, she is so soft so warm, I pull her in close. Looking down, I notice her eyes are wide and cautious. I kiss her softly as her arms circle my neck. We kiss slowly as I carry her across the room, I place her down on the side of the bed, and gently cup her face.

"Do you want a drink or anything?" I so don't want to rush this, she shakes her head slowly just starring into my eyes, God what she does to me... Count to ten Grey... I could of took her on the roof, I came so close to just succumbing there and then, but no this has to be special, savored... Enjoyed.

I take her hand pulling her gently to her feet, my thumb gently strokes the soft skin of her cheek, God I can't wait to feel the rest of her, my eyes widen questioning her "You okay?" I whisper, I don't want her to feel rushed have any doubt or second thoughts, she nods, her eyes still locked with mine, she's as mesmerized as I am. Her eyes are wide, her breathing has deepened and she has started to nibble on her wonderful glorious bottom lip, and I have to kiss her, taste her, feel that lip for myself. My mouth descends on her's, she accepts me with no hesitation, I pull her lip gently between my teeth and slowly brush my tongue across it, savoring her taste, she moans her hands grip my hips, a shot of heat runs through me and I have to catch my breath. I pull away breathless, instantly getting trapped once again by her eyes, she's breathless, flushed, excited. She's beautiful.

I desire her more than anyone I ever have... The anticipation I feel for the unexpected with her is overwhelming, I crave to touch her... I need to see her... All of her. I take one hand from her face and slowly slide it down the side of her body, oh she feels wonderful, as I reach her hip my hand rests on the tie to her dress, I look deep into her eyes asking permission, she smiles, her pupils dilate and she nods minutely. I slowly pull on the tie to her dress and gasp as it falls open, placing both my hands on her shoulders I push her dress free, her hands leave my hips so her dress pools at her feet. I step away my eyes drawn up and down taking her all in, she's beautiful... In just her underwear and heels she's a goddess... And she's mine... She wants me... She has given me free rein over her body... Over her first time... She trusts me. I admire every inch of her but notice her flush at my blatant appreciation, her eyes lower, No... I place my hand under her chin and raise her eyes to mine.

"No Ana please don't feel shy... You're beautiful, truly perfect" I see a small smile and an even bigger flush darken her cheeks as she stands a little taller, she is truly beautiful... How could she not know this... I lower my hand to her very sexy bra, and trace my index finger along the soft swell of her breast, her chest rises with the breath she takes at the contact and I feel my cock twitch making me even more uncomfortable,

"I like this, a very nice... Very sexy, subtle reminder" she bites her lip to hide her giggle,

"Kate wanted me to wear something in red"

"Oh no... See... Your judgement and instincts win out again" I place both my hands on her shoulders, offering her one last way out, because I'm so close to the point of no return,

"Are you sure you want to do this?" I whisper,

"I'm sure Christian... I have never wanted anything more" she breathes and my joy is instant. I kiss her hard and fast, I so need to be close to her. I step back and quickly pull off my shirt, shoes, socks and trousers, I notice her eyes widen as they rest on my chest and her face saddens as she looks up at me, this is her first time seeing my scars. Don't hate me baby...

"Not now baby" I smile shaking my head, "We can talk later" her face softens, the fire returns to her eyes as she notices the rest of me just in my boxers. I close the distance between us pulling her into me I need to hold her, my lips claim hers, my hands roam her back, I unhook her bra and with our lips still battling I pull it free from her arms where it meets her dress on the floor. I pull her to me tightly, the feel of her hot soft chest pressed against mine is staggering, it's that dead man walking buzz all over again, from head to toe... I feel it... Feel her. Her hands softly touch my waist and I feel her thumbs slid under the waist band of my shorts, I moan deeply, I want her to touch me... I need to touch her...

I pull my lips from hers and I drop to my knees, her hands falling free, I look into her hot hooded eyes and slowly slide my hands up the back of her fabulously soft silky legs. Her eyes close, as she sucks on her bottom lip, her breathing is deep and wanting, my hands reach her cheeks and I slide them up the back of her very small, very sexy shorts. Still watching her face I trail my nose up the inside of her thigh enjoying the feel of her soft warm skin, I reach the top of her thigh and run my nose up her panties inhaling deeply, her eyes shoot open and she gasps gripping my head with both her hands her fingers roaming my scalp. My eyes roll momentarily, then I hold her eye as I grasp her panties in my teeth and start to pull and as my hands run back down her cheeks, I take her underwear with me.

Oh God she smells enticing, her response is felt right through me, I so need to be inside her but I can't rush this. As my head reaches her knees, my hands continue the journey alone. As my hands reach her ankles I lift her feet to remove her shoes at the same time. Never breaking eye contact I stand and slowly pull off my shorts, I see her hands twitch, oh, she wants to touch me, I want her to but... I sweep her up in my arms reveling in her now naked body, she's perfect. I lay her gently on the bed and climb on laying beside her, I cup her sweet face with my hand,

"Ana I so want you to touch me... But I'm not too sure how..." her hand covers mine,

"Christian it's okay... We will take it slow, I won't..." her eyes are reassuring pleading, I want her to touch me...

"You can touch my head and anything below my waist" I smile my eyes widen as I see her flush, she licks her lips so I know she has been fighting her urges too... Oh yes please Ana touch me... Squeeze me... Grip me... Oh Ana...

"I won't make no sudden movements... Will not touch you, unless you tell me... Trust me... I won't hurt you" her eyes and words are convincing, and my body yields.

I kiss her deeply, pulling her close, her warm naked body heating mine. I pull away slowly I need to look at her, her eyes open slowly and her small smile beams, her eyes are hooded and she is trying so hard to keep still. I smile to myself, she is so ready, so wanting this... God she's amazing and I haven't even touched her yet. I revel in the effect I have on her, how much she wants me, I run my fingers through her soft hair, and start to let my fingers explore. Starting at her hip, I trail my fingers slowly over her stomach, up her arm to her neck.

"I'm just going to move my arm" she whispers her voice low and wanting, her eyes are bright her breathing is labored, she is totally excited by her need and anticipation. She threads her arm under my side and places her hand on the back of my head, fingers fanning out trough my hair, her other hand touches my face, "Is this okay?" she asks, god yes Ana, it feels wonderful, I nod, my heart ablaze with need for her... I'm going to make this so good... She deserves this to be mind blowing... It's going to be so good, she isn't ever going to want to stop... Never going to want to leave... Ever.

This feels so different. This isn't about fucking hard or sex for sex sake. This is about a connection to every inch of her, every cell in her body. I want her to remember my touch on her... For both of us this is special. I have never been this close to a person before, ever. We have no rules, no restraints, just total trust. I need this... I want to be wrapped in her heat... Bathe in it... I want to make her scream... Moan... Call out my name... I want to be buried inside her. I want to complete are connection.

I look her up and down from head to toe, my fingers trailing patterns along her body she's beautiful... Such perfect flawless skin. I want to touch every inch of her but she would come like a firecracker in a second with some of my tricks, god what my tongue alone could do to her, but we need this slow... I need this slow.

I just let my hands travel slowly over her body... God the silkiness of her thigh... The curve of her hip... The feel of her skin... The arch of her neck. My nose nuzzels into her neck, I nip gently testing her response to me... Oh she's amazing. I feel the shiver run through her and her breathing deepens and god I want this so much... To feel her... My hand starts to travel down her neck trailing softly to her soft breasts, I hear a small moan and feel her breast tighten as my thumb gently brushes her pert nipple, her breasts are pert and soft and fit my hand perfectly. Her back arches off the bed as I increase the pressure on her breast, I lick and blow gently on her other breast paying attention to her elongating nipple. Her moans reach me, I sigh deeply, oh this is heaven, the slightest touch has her reeling how could she possibly be for me... She's perfect.

My lips find hers and my hand slowly travels from her chest down her toned body to her hip, I pull her towards me, bringing her knee up to my hip and slowly grind into her allowing myself some comfort from her warmth, she moans deeply and her hands start to roam my scalp, I roll on top of her positioning myself between her legs, I rise up onto my knees, I need to feel her, taste her.

Sitting between her thighs I let my fingers trace up her legs, until my hands are on her hips, I pull her forwards and upwards to meet my descending mouth, I hear her moan... I can smell her arousal... She's intoxicating. I slowly tease my tongue through her pubic hair till I find my goal and I revel in her hot sweet flesh, she tastes amazing... Feels amazing. My tongue is swirling around and around, teasing, tasting, testing her, god I'm going to explode, her response to me is consuming. Her body bucks her groans grow deeper her fingers fist in my hair, god I'm fit to burst, her response to me fueling my need to be inside her, I must slow down I want her first orgasm to be with all of me. I pull back allowing her to calm gently kissing the inside of her thighs, her thighs close around my head instinctively wantonly, she's gasping looking at me with unfocused eyes.

I crawl up her body slowly as she writhes underneath me her hands now gripping the sheets, is it so she won't touch me? I want her to... Need her to. I just can't say the words.

I nip and kiss my way back up her enticing warm body, I'm painfully hard with need for her, she hasn't even touched me and I could come quite happily now, she confounds me in every way. How in the hell has she not done this before? But god I'm so glad she hasn't, I'm lost completely under her spell, is she really meant for me? When I reach her face I look deep into her eyes before I kiss her, god this woman consumes me. I need to be inside her, make her mine totally, give myself to her like I have never done before.

My hand slowly starts to travel down to her hot wanting sex, I hold her, feeling her heat in my palm my index finger slowly starts to circle round her sex, fuck she's soaking, so responsive. I slowly push my index finger inside her, as her warmth expands I groan... God she's so tight. I move my finger in and out slowly, stretching her, preparing her for me, I press my thumb to her clitoris and feel the spasm hit her... God this will be over too soon if I'm not careful, I want this to be so good for her, I slow the movement down to release the pressure, just gently stroking.

As she lays on the bed gazing up at me, I'm stunned for a second by her beauty, her hair is fanned out over the pillow her face and body are flushed with her arousal, she's panting eyes wide lips parted, her tongue darts in and out keeping her lips moist, her long legs eagerly parted, waiting for me, her hands still grip the sheets. I can't wait any longer I need to be inside her... Make her mine completely. I lean over to the bedside draw and I pull out a condom her eyes are fascinated as she watches me roll it on, her eyes widen slightly scared, she bites that glorious lip.

"It's ok baby we will take it slow, I promise I won't hurt you" my soft voice reassures,

She nods licking her lips and I notice she involuntarily moves her hips. God she so wants this... I lean over her kissing her soft stomach kissing and nipping upwards to her breasts, taking a nipple in my mouth I tease it with my tongue while sucking gently, her moan vibrates right through me, I lower my hips till I'm between her open warm thighs.

"Bring your knees up baby" I whisper, into her neck, she moves slowly and I feel her warm thighs meet and grip my hips, I hover over her and feel her tilt her pelvis up to meet me, my mouth travels up her neck, I look into her beautiful blue eyes.

"Are you sure Ana?"

"Oh yes Christian... Make love to me... I need to feel you... I. ..." God, thank you Ana.

Kissing her deeply I position myself over her warm wet center and slowly start to rub the tip of my throbbing cock up and down her core, I feel her moan as I slowly, gently, push my way inside her. I ease my way in, pulling back and forth easing in further with each slow movement, I feel her warmth ensnare me with every inch she claims. I kiss her slowly sensually as I bury myself inside her fully, I feel her stretch and succumb to all of me. I stay still allowing her to adjust and just revel in the contact, I take her long moan with my kiss and relish her reaction to me. She feels like heaven on earth, I want to move, need to move, she is so tight it's almost painful.

I start to move slowly in out, oh she feels glorious, so warm, so wet, so responsive, I look at her as I increase my rhythm, wary of hurting her, I read her reaction to me, and smile as I notice her mouth is limp her eyes are wide and rolling, her neck is arched, as she starts to pant I kiss her slender neck, she groans deeply "Oh Christian faster... Please faster" oh no... No baby, I need this slow, need to feel you, need you to feel me, I slow down. I cover her completely our legs entwined, chest to chest, arms entwined above our heads, I need this slow, deep, unrushed. I need to feel her, hold contact with her, skin on skin from head to toe. I feel the heat from her reach me deep inside warming my every cell. "Oh Ana..."

She's so soft, so warm, so safe.

I feel her need for me and smile to myself, I won't torture her any longer we have so much time for that. I start to move and as my pace increased so does her breathing, her body is responding to me, her orgasm is building, I feel her legs tense, her hands fist in my hair, I see her eyes rolling half closed and I can't hold off any longer, I nuzzle her ear my voice vibrates up her neck.

"Come for me Ana" and she deeply groans my name,

"Oh Chrisitan"

Her body takes over as her legs tense further, I feel her clenching and throbbing deep inside as her orgasm overtakes her and grips me.

"Oh Ana"

I explode lost in the intoxication of her, the feel of her, the need for her, we ride out our orgasms together, I rest on top of her reveling in her warmth. As our breathing slows, and reason returns, I lean up to look at her, her eyes are lost to the feelings she has just enjoyed... Her face is flushed, she has a smile to her lips... God she's beautiful.

I want her... No I need her to touch me. I take her hand and quickly place it flat to my chest, as her hand makes contact with my skin, are eyes lock and the fire that burns in me is immense. I want to maul her, climb inside her and never let her go. I pull her close bathing in the heat from her, my thoughts are jumbled, my instinctual reaction to flinch and flee subdued by the peace and closeness I feel at this very second. God I want to feel like this forever. I look down and freeze as I see tears in her lovely sad eyes.

"God Ana did I hurt you?" I ask desperately,

"Oh Christian no... Thank you for letting me touch you"

"No letting involved... My body needs you... The man that I am needs you... Always" I gush truthfully,

I roll onto my back pulling her with me we're still intimately entwined, I need to hold her, hold her close. I just cling to her feeling her heartbeat bounce through my chest, her breathing is fast in my ear, her hands are holding my face, her brow is resting on mine, her hair falls all around us, keeping us in our own little bubble.

"God, I think I love this woman" she freezes in my arms,

"You do?" her voice questions low in my ear, her face still hidden in my neck, shit... I said that out loud...

"Ana... I'm sorry I..." her lips find mine, a slow heartfelt kiss.

"Christian... No don't... I love you too"

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A

As I look down into his loved up eyes, my heart twists, he said he loves me... Loves me... God what I feel for this man. The closeness I feel and I don't just mean physically, I lower my head towards him and nuzzle his neck, his hands roam my back. My body is still alive, still reeling from my first exquisite orgasm. God what this man can do, what he makes me feel. He is so right we couldn't have done this on the roof, eight hours is definitely not long enough I never want to get out of bed. How he touched me... How he... Oh I need this again, I kiss him deeply, I pull away and look at him, his soft smile content,

"Can I kiss you?" I glance at his chest, his smile stays in place, but his eyes show his caution,

"Slowly please" he utters, sweeping my hair over my shoulder out of the way I look up at him, my eyes reassuring,

"You just have to say stop Christian" I creep down his chest with small tender kisses and feel him internally buck, oh my... That feels absolutely amazing, soft moans escape him as my lips kiss him. I hold my position reveling in the feeling of him pulsating inside me, ever so slightly, I start to rock and grind him gently, I feel him growing harder deeper inside, "Oh Christian" I can't help my moan, god this feels wonderful. As I pick up my pace grinding him slow and hard I feel his breathing deepen, I glance up through my lashes as I place another kiss on his war torn chest and watch his eyes roll. He bucks as I grind myself into him harder and I nearly convulse at his groan, I slowly trace my fingers down his neck onto his chest, his moans driving me on, I place both hands flat and push myself up, I groan as the position makes it feel deeper, my eyes roll, god the feel of him... I want to grind him so hard... I need to come... His hands grip my hips urging me on... As I make love to him.

As I fall down from the great height my orgasm took me to, I can't help my giggle, I stretch lazily next to him on the soft wide bed, my body feels alive excited but also still a bit horney. I roll onto my front looking at him, he looks happy content both this hands behind his head, he's just staring at the ceiling with a silly grin on his face,

"God Christian it's a good job you're so rich" I giggle, squirming into the bed trying to ease my need for him, it's not working... His eyes look to mine, happily asking why? And I can't help my blush,

"Well it means... We can afford to spend the next two years in bed" his hearty laugh makes me smile,

"Two years Miss Steele, do you think you have the stamina?" his eyes are alive, he's running his tongue across his plump soft bottom lip... Oh I want to do that...

"God yes... If that's what you can do with only your body... I can't wait to experience what you can do with a toy or two..." my face is burning, my need for him causing me to lose all my inhibitions, he laughs loudly. Pulling his hand from behind his head he starts to draw patterns with his fingers on my back, oh...

"But seriously Christian, half of your stuff in that room does need burning..." he rolls towards me, his hand travels down under the sheets as his lips hit my back, I stretch and moan with such contents at his touch, his soft husky voice reaches my ear, as his body covers mine.

"What ever you choose baby... What ever you choose..."


	20. 20 Hiding In The Dark

MA - RATING.  
JUST INCASE I DON'T WANT TO GET IN ANY TROUBLE.

THANK YOU ALL FOR THE WONDERFUL REVIEWS, I'M SO GLAD I DIDN'T DISAPPOINT ANYBODY.  
IT WASN'T AS EMBARASSING AS I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE, SO YES, DEFO MORE 'JUICE'

HELLO TO ALL THE 'NEW' REVIEWERS YOUR SUPPORT IS REALLY APPRECIATED. THANKS  
ENJOY...

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A

As I wake, a slow satisfied smile comes to my lips I stretch into my body, feeling all my muscles protest a little, reminding me of the wonderful work out my body has just gone through, I giggle, as images from last night fill my mind's eye. Oh... I have an urgent need... To touch my man. Slowly stretching for Christian my eyes shoot open when I realize the bed is empty. Sitting up quickly a flash of panic grabs me... He wouldn't leave would he?... My body calms instantly, as I hear the soothing sound of the piano... Oh I love hearing him play. Lost in his music I sit for a while, hugging my knees, eyes closed, just feeling every note, he plays wonderfully... I need to see him.

Jumping out of bed I grab the sheet, tying it around myself I tiptoe out of the room. Oh hell... I curse, as I pass a wall mirror, bed hair is so not a good look for me. I quickly brush my finger through the wild mess that is my hair, trying to tame it slightly but I'm not having much luck. Oh that will have to do... It's not quite the, I've been dragged through a bush look but still, very close, Kate would be proud. I bite my lip to hide my giggle, Oh what does it matter, it's still fairly dark, if I keep him busy he might not notice. Fueled by my need to see him, I head out of the room and follow the sound of the music.

As I enter the heart of the suite, there he is... Lit only be the last hint of moonlight... He looks magnificent. He is looking out the vast window playing softly, he looks content, peaceful, totally lost in thought, his fingers play blindly a hopeful happy tune, and I'm overwhelmed by him, my heart leaps. I walk towards him slowly drawn to the sound... Drawn to him.

"Good morning beautiful" his voice sings as I approach, he turns to me and my heart melts... He looks so happy, his eyes are bright his face soft, his body totally relaxed.

"Is it morning already?" I can't help my grumble, it's been perfect, "I don't want this night to end" I say quietly, he laughs and steps out from behind the piano in just his shorts. My body and mind instantly responds to the sight of him, I lick my lips and feel my eyes widen... Oh he's adorable... I just want to lose myself with him again. He smiles a wicked smile, oh yes... We're on the same page. He reaches me and swings me up into his arms, he rests his brow to mine.

"Then it won't Ana... It won't" he kisses me slow and soft, his tongue wrestling with mine. While carrying me back into the bedroom, I vaguely hear his phone vibrate on top of the piano, but he pays it no mind, we're lost in our kiss till we reach the bedroom.

He places me on the soft rug in front of the fire, kissing me swiftly. He heads over to the fire adds more logs, stokes it, and we are both caught up watching the flames reignite... Just like my need for him. I can't take my eyes off him, his toned perfect body comes alive in the firelight. I know I'm chewing on my lip and my body is trembling just at the sight and thought of him, he has the same lustful look in his eyes and a small knowing smile plays on his lips... God he's sex on legs.

Our room is just starting to be hit by the sunrise, so Christian walks quickly over to the heavy ornate drapes that cover the two large windows, he unhooks the rope tie backs that are helping them swag, then stands back as the thick heavy drapes fall together, instantly holding off the new day securing our night for a little bit longer. I smile as I see the same lustful glint grow wilder in his eyes. I feel my sheet slowly slip an inch down my chest and his eyes widen slightly... Oh... I like that response... Well... I shift slightly holding his gaze, causing it to drop a little further, allowing just the hint of the top of my breast, his eyes hood and I almost giggle as I see him bite his lip, he shakes his head clear,

"You need to eat first" he states, walking over to the complementary basket, ripping it open and fixing us some food,

"I do?" I question, food hasn't even entered my head yet, I'm thinking about sex... Hot slow burning... His soft seductive voice halts my erotic thoughts,

"Oh yes Anastasia... You need to keep your strength up..." his voice is close to my ear, soft and husky, I never even noticed him move I was so lost in thought... I look at him my eyes needful, he chuckles nodding towards the food, he gently kisses my shoulder, I turn to kiss him, but he shakes his head, "Eat first" he chuckles, he moves away to sit opposite me. No don't go... He shakes his head, trying to hold back his laughter nodding once again to the food...

We're both lying on our sides, propped up on our elbows facing each other, eating from a large platter between us, I'm sucking on a strawberry not even attempting to hide my blatant staring, my eyes are trailing him slowly from head to toe taking him all in. Draped in a sheet that just covers his modesty, he's mouth watering. The shape of his thigh, the toned ripples of his chest, the line of his jaw, the...

"Do you like what you see Miss Steele" he breaths with a single raised eyebrow his mouth in a smirk,

"Oh yes Mr Grey... Your very pleasing on the eye" he chuckles as I suck slowly on my strawberry holding his gaze,

"Oh... Am I now" he chuckles, rolling his eyes,

"Yes... Very" I purr, trying so hard to be seductive,

"You're insatiable" he laughs shaking his head, "Eat" he nods to the platter, I pick up a carrot stick and start to swirl it around in the small pot of humus, even eating reminds me of sex, I feel myself flush,

"Kate said this would happen" Christian's eyebrows rise in question "She said that once I did this, I would make up for lost time and be at it like a rabbit" I feel my flush hit my neck, Christian smiles and extends his hand to chase the heat down my neck with his fingertips, his voice is low,

"What else did Kate say?" he whispers, who... Cares... Just touch me, my eyes slowly close,

"She never said it would be this good" I breathe softly, arching my neck into his touch, God what this man can do, I've had a taste of what he offers and God... I'm ravenous,

"She has obviously never met the right man" his voice is suggestive as his fingers run slowly along my collarbone, "Elliot is spending time with her now, she will have fun" he shifts pushing the platter out of the way, holding my eyes he starts to move closer, slowly,

"You both never went to the same sexpertise finishing school did you? I can't see Kate somehow, being told what she can and can't do" I see a look pass his eyes for just a second, before he chuckles shaking his head,

"No Elliot went to the practice makes perfect academy... So Kate will be more than happy" he leans in closer and I instinctively roll onto my back, he hovers above me holding my eyes reading my reactions, they are all screaming take me now... My breathing is changing, my pulse quickening my insides starting to somersault, my voice is low breathless,

"I saw her yesterday, she was very happy, her walk of shame was so worthwhile... So we both... Touched... Lucky" his nose is tracing my neck now, a small moan escapes me as my whole body arcs off the floor, and I'm finding it very hard to concentrate,

"Lucky you say... Well I'd better not disappoint" God there is no danger of that... His lips reach mine, and the slow sensual battle begins, his tongue is slow, teasing tormenting... My hands reach for him. Slowly my hands run up his back, as I feel and hear his groan, our kiss gets faster harder more intense, I feel his hand on my thigh slowly creeping under the sheet, his fingers are so close... He breaks away breathlessly,

"Christian... Please touch me..." my voice is needful, begging even, I feel his smile against my neck as he nips and kisses his way to my ear,

"Hold that thought" he whispers, and he's gone... My eyes fly open, I want to complain but I'm struck dumb at the glorious sight of him walking across the room, he reaches the bedside draw and takes out a condom, I roll onto my front just ogling him, he smiles, heads over to the small fridge and pulls out a bottle of water, and takes a drink,

"Did you bring those with you? Good job one of us thought ahead, I put some in my bathroom cabinet but they are no help there" he laughs but surprisingly he shakes his head,

"No... I asked for all extras" my eyebrows shoot up, what... "The hotel knows what people do in their rooms Ana... They 'Do Not Disturb' for a reason" his eyes are still hungry as he slowly walks back to me, sitting down he hands me the water, which I gratefully take,

"So you've done this before?" I ask quietly, taking a swig of water to avoid his gaze, I look down suddenly dreading his answer, the thought of him doing this before is painful, he notices and cups my chin bringing my eyes back up to his, he's sincere in his reply, his eyes are soft,

"No Ana... I haven't" good... I feel a lot better now, "I have just stayed in hundreds of hotels all over the world, and they are all the same" he looks sad for a moment, then smiles slowly as his eyes catch fire, "I wanted to bring you here" he leans toward me and pushes my hair behind my ear, fingers soft on my jaw, his eyes grow warmer "I've seen the movies, read the books, I have heard people talk of their dirty weekends locked away in a hotel room... Hidden from the world... I wanted that with you... Before you, I could never..." he runs his thumb slowly over my bottom lip, just staring into my eyes, he looks so... Thankful,

"Why have you never done this with one of your submissives?" Is out of my big mouth before I can stop it, his brow furrow, I don't think he even imagined it,

"I have never even considered it... They had their place and purpose, I never wanted anything more from them" as simple as that, wow... They were just a deal, a transaction, with no personal connection at all to him, but now the seed has been planted,

"So you're not sorry you have missed out on all of this... With so many willing gorgeous women?" I think he feels my worry, and needs to reassure,

"No Ana... Not even for a second" he takes the bottle of water from me, and rolling onto his knees starts to crawl towards me, and I feel him, the power of him, he crawls towards me slowly, stalking me and my body takes over, I roll onto my back as he reaches me, stretching beneath him, my eyes rolling to the back of my head, my voice is breathless,

"This room is a bit tame I suppose... What could you have done in here with them anyway?" I hear and feel his soft drooling voice and I can't help squirming, God he hasn't even touched met yet, I need his touch, his warmth, I need to feel him,

"Oh Ana... I'm sure I could still find a way to... Play" he nuzzles my neck, voice low and deep, sending shivers all through me "You'd be surprised what you can find if you look... Even in a room this... Tame..." he has my earlobe now, nibbling tugging gently, my fingers rake through his hair, my body is crying out for him, I feel my arousal at his words, the heat coursing through me, how can he make one word sound so hot...

"Do you want to... Play... Anastasia?" his voice whispers in my ear, I groan in response, Oh My God... My body is screaming yes, yes, yes... But my head has reservations,

"No pain" I manage to whisper back in-between deep gasping breaths... Oh the anticipation...

"Oh no baby... No pain" he kisses along my jaw, the pull he has over me has me reeling, and I can't help but give in to it,

"Then yes... Please" he groans softly into my ear, then moves to kiss me, hard and fast, he sits up and takes me with him. Our lips are still locked as his hands roam my back, I wrap my arms around him, I feel his hands move, they slowly both move to my sides then mirror each other as they both brush my breasts and pull on the knot of my sheet, I feel the sheet fall brushing my skin and my insides quiver intensely, can you truly orgasm without even being touched? Christian sighs deeply and pulls away,

"God Ana you could so unman me right now" I giggle, I will take that as a yes. To know I have the same effect on him only encourages my need for him, he kisses me softly then stands, he removes his shorts, picks me up and heads for the bed.

Placing me softly in the middle of the bed, he leans in kissing me swiftly then stands straight "Don't move" he whispers, I notice his smile as he watches me take him all in, he has the most amazing body, lean tight toned every muscle defined. I lick and chew my lip openly, not caring my wantonness is written all over me, I want to just drag him back to the bed, but this teasing is such fun.

I watch him slowly start to circle the room, his eyes not leaving mine, his fingers trailing softly across the furniture, "Now lets see what we can find to play with... Shall we" his voice is slow seductive, just like his movements. He passes a large display of flowers, and pulls out a single tight budded soft cream rose, placing it on the bottom of the bed, he smiles his eyes dark smoldering, he pulls open a draw only to find a sleep mask, "Oh yes, this will work" he tosses it to me, where it lands at my feet. Picking it up I hold it in my hands, how could something so small and menial hold so much anticipation? I feel myself squirm, my arousal and need for him out weighing everything else, the way he moves, the slow purr of his voice, all have my body crying out for him.

He heads over to the windows, and takes the curtain tie backs from their hooks, smiling wickedly, he trails the gold rope tassels through his fingers, God what on earth does he plan on doing with those? My body yearns to find out, but I feel myself catch my lip with my teeth, and I can't take my eyes from the rope,

"You ok baby?" my worry must be evident, I look at him eyes wide,

"No whipping" I whisper, he shakes his head and walks towards the bed,

"No baby... But I do want to keep you still... How do you feel about being tied up?" I notice his eyes widen as he runs his tongue over his lip, Oh he likes that thought, and I find myself copying his actions, my eyes are wide, my breathing is deep and I flush as I lick my lips, my body totally doing its own thing,

"That good huh" he chuckles from beside me, he sits on the bed next to me cupping my face, I lean into him craving the slightest touch, he holds my eye,

"We will take this slow Ana... Go at your pace... You are in control... All you have to do is say stop" his voice is comforting full of reassurance, I just nod wide eyed, totally unable to speak. My thoughts are all over the place, the excitement of the unknown sending shivers right through me, he kisses me slowly before I feel his soft words tickle my lips,

"Just lay down baby arms above your head" I feel his hand on my back as his lips kiss me, slowly laying me down, I can't help my moan as my back hits the bed, his kiss deepened for a moment before he pulls away he kisses my brow "I love you Ana" he whispers and I whimper some garbled response which makes him chuckle, he stands and instantly I see a change in him, its only subtle only slight but god its hot...

"I'm not going to tie you properly, as it's our first time, I don't want you to feel any panic or anxiety, so these ropes are perfect" he holds the rope up to demonstrate his meaning, the tie backs are made up in a figure eight pattern, with premade loops, "All I'm going to do, is wrap the rope around the bedpost, and feed your hands and feet through the loops... Okay?" I nod slowly totally transfixed by him, he smiles and sighs heavily as he walks to the head of the four poster bed, "Arms up Ana" I feel my body stretch at his command my hand reaching for him, he wraps the rope around the post and holding the two ends together, feeds my hand through it, "Twist your wrist baby, and take hold of the rope" I do as instructed an instantly my hand is secure "The minute you let go... You're free... Okay?" I nod eagerly the excitement reaching a new peak now,

He kisses me softly and as he does, I gasp as I feel the tassel of the rope tie trail my chest, he smiles against my lips before standing and making his way around the bed, all the while holding my eyes and trailing the tassels over my body, he secures both my feet twisting the ropes first before inserting my foot, "You feel okay baby?" he murmurs, his eyes are alive, his body oozes sex, "God yes Christian" I pant out, he chuckles as he secures my other hand, I'm feeling amazing, my whole body is alive, I feel vulnerable totally exposed but so god damn... Horney, Kates right, there is only one word for it.

Any anxiety or hesitation I might have is soon put aside when I catch his eye, he's at the foot of the bed leaning on the ornate post just looking at me from head to toe, his eyes are dark and hooded his body more that eager, I feel as flush sweep my chest as I imagine what I must look like from that angle and I try in vain to close my thighs.

"Oh no you don't baby... You look absolutely beautiful" he moves to the foot of the bed and climbs on crawling slowly up to me, he straddles my hips leans in to kiss me then whispers,

"You have seen far too much" and he takes the blindfold from the bed and places is over my eyes lifting my head gently and instantly everything changes, my senses are heightened, my body feels more alive. I feel him roll off to the side of me then leave the bed, I hear rustling the sound of a plate on a table then feel the bed dip as he returns, good god just touch me already...

I need to feel his touch, his fingers, his tongue... "Oh Christian..." I feel him come closer and his lips find mine, they tease and torture the moans out of me, god this man is perfect he hasn't laid a finger on me yet and I need to explode, god how could he possibly be meant for me... I feel his voice run up my neck, and my body quivers, I can feel everything building taking over all sense of rhyme and reason...

"Just lay back baby... Enjoy your first taste of play time"

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx C

Oh my god she's perfect... Lying like this totally trusting me, totally responsive is a true joy. After everything I have ever done, nothing... Nothing, compares to this... To be able to touch her freely... Feel her need for me... Touches me deep. I have never wanted anyone to trust me more... Than I do right now, I have never needed anyone more, than I need her right now... Oh this is going to be wonderful...

I pick up the rose from the bottom of the bed and lay down beside her, I run my tongue up the side of her neck and smile at her near convulsion, oh this is going to be so good... I get close to her ear so she feels the words as they leave me,

"Now Ana... this is all about touch, I'm only going to touch you... There will be no sex... Unless you beg otherwise" who am I kidding, I couldn't resist her if I tried.

While her whole body is on alert to my voice I trail the rose softly up her thigh, over her stomach up to her neck. The groan that leaves her makes my cock throb, oh to just be buried inside her... Patience...

I trail the rose around and around her breasts being sure not to touch them, "The longer you hold out baby... The better it will be... So control it Ana... Feel it but... Don't give in" She bucks against her restraints and moans deeply, god I need to touch her. I roll over her sitting on my knees between her thighs, I run the rose across her huge pert nipples and nearly give in myself at her response, her body writhes and her arousal is evident, god she's perfect. I slide a finger inside her slowly and gasp and sag at her desperate need, she so god damn wet, her body stills her breathing is shallow and I start to feel her grip my finger, oh no baby not yet, I need you first.

I slide out my finger and suck on it grateful of the taste of her, oh yes I need to feel her, I lean to the bedside table and remove a large strawberry from the plate, I shuffle back slightly and lower myself to run my tongue up the inside of her thigh, at the same time I run the cool soft berry up her other thigh, she moans and tries to draw her knees together. The berry reaches her first an I tease her clit with the tip, her groans are deep needful, god I need her, I push the fruit harder to break the soft skin and as the juices burst and she feels the sensation, my eager tongue reaches her, teasing... Invading... Lapping up the juice from the fruit, I glance up to see her arch her back, her neck, her hand loosens on the rope but she resists and grips it tighter. I send my tongue in deeper. I love the control I have over her every gasp... Her every moan. I pull away and slowly start to run the strawberry over her stomach, my tongue follows lapping up the juices, her hole body sags "Oh Chrisitan please..." she begs, I smile against her soft belly,

"Do you like that baby?" I just swirl and swirl the berry and swirl and swirl my tongue, her body totally lost in sensation,

"God yes" she moans, I see her hand move slightly, no... Not yet, baby hold on just a little longer. I nuzzle into her belly absorbing the taste and smell of her with the fruit, I will never look at a strawberry the same way again.

"What do you want Ana?... What do you need me to do to you Anastasia?" My lips murmur into her soft flesh,

"God... Anything... Everything..." her voice is dripping with her blatant wantonness, I laugh against her belly, god she's adorable... Of all the things I could do to her right now, all I want is to just be close to her,

"I want to make love to you Ana" her body writhes eagerly.

"Oh please" she begs,

Discarding the fruit, I kiss my way up to her breasts and tease her throbbing nipples, her chest is heaving, begging breaths leaving her body, she is so close, sitting up I lean over to the bedside draw, pull out and put on a condom. Still kneeling, I lift her up pulling her hips toward me, and slowly ease my way inside her, she groans deeply as her warmth ensnares me, trailing my fingers all over her chest my cock rides out her bucks and writhes... God she's amazing... Could she really be mine?...

I need to feel her... I want her to touch me, I fall forward and bury my face in her neck, moving slowly I feel her start to build, I see her hands flex, her urge for freedom is close and I so need her to touch me, I feel our climaxes are iminent and lean up to kiss her, as our lips meet, I pull off her blindfold and run my fingers through her hair, her eyes are closed but rolling, I am so close. I need her to touch me "Ana..." I moan against her soft lips. Oh god she's wonderful... Right on cue, I feel her feet twist her legs grip me, her arms shift and her hands are free, fingers pulling my hair softly... Nails trailing patterns down my back... God... She's my everything and more all rolled into one. As our orgasm's hit were lost, both mumbling each others names, clinging to each other for dear life.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A

I am lying on my back, slowly regaining awareness, that was...

"God Ana that was amazing" Christian mutters, he sounds as breathless as I am,

"Your telling me... That was one... No THE most intense experience of my life" I was lost completely, every sense was heightened, every feeling magnified, it was mind blowing,

"Did you have fun?" he snickers, rolling towards me leaning on his elbow trailing his fingers over my stomach,

"Fun... God I think I had an out of body experience" I squirm as I feel something cold hit my hip, after retrieving it, I flush at the crushed strawberry "So that's what it was" I giggle, "You know I will never be able to look at one of these in the same away again"

"I know baby... Right there with you" he laughs shaking his head, a flush to his cheeks and total contentment to his eyes,

"I love you Christian" his mouth claim's mine hot and passionate, he stops, kiss's my brow, then sits up pulling me with him,

"Come on, we need to bathe or were going to get sticky" he stands throws me over his shoulder and we head off to the bathroom.

Lying in the hot scented water, encased in Christians arms is bliss, the lights are off, candles are lit on the surrounding surfaces, bringing our firelight in here with us, were washed, strawberry free and just totally relaxing in each others arms,

"Do you want to go to Vegas?" I hear him softly murmur, his chin rests on my shoulder as his arms tighten around my waist a little more, I snuggle my back further into him, laying my head on his chest, I glance up,

"Never really fancied it, to many slot machines and mad cabaret acts" his face falls slightly as he kisses my temple, I trail my fingers absent-mindedly across the surface bubbles totally content,

"I can't believe neither of us have ever done this before?" I sigh,

"I know Ana... Everything is new for me too. Having an intimate dinner, indulging in vanilla sex, sharing a bath, just chatting and holding you are all first time experiences for me too, this has been perfect for me, you are perfect for me" he kisses me and I feel my brow furrow, I pull away,

"What's vanilla sex?" I ask feeling a little silly, he laughs pulling me closer trailing kisses up my neck,

"No toys... No restraints... No control, what we have done, I've never done that before... Never been so free with my body... So close to anybody before, even playing was different with you Ana" he nips at my ear,

"Why not?... You're very good at it" I bow into him and giggle recalling a very sweet memory,

"Ana... Up till last night I'd never made love... Only ever... Fucked hard... Letting out all my anger and issues... In that one hard powerful act but with you... It touches me Ana... I can't get close enough to you... I feel you every time I touch you... Everything is new and changing because of you... I love you Ana" his face is close to mine rubbing gently,

"I love you to Chrisitan... You have changed my life for the better to" I lay back into his strong arms as he slowly nibbles my ear. I sigh heavily,

"I'd have hated being your submissive" I mumble, I feel him freeze, I turn to face him and kneel before him, "If I was your sub... There would be no touch... I need this Christian" I trail my fingers up his toned stomach to his chest and lay my palm flat, "I need to be close to you... But you have had subservient women for so long... To do with as you please... There must be something you will miss?" I can't help my worry, he chuckles, shaking his head, pulling me into him, so I'm laying on his chest,

"No Ana not at all... There are things I still want to do... But I will miss nothing" oh what would he like to do? I like playing...

"Go on I know you're dying to ask" he giggles, I turn my face to him,

"How on earth did you know that's what I was thinking?" I ask as he laughs,

"Your body is so easy to read Ana" he kisses me and his eyes soften "We will talk when we get home" he pulls me close, Home... Wow...

"Ana, you have been topping from the bottom, since the second I met you... There is no danger of you ever being my submissive" he chuckles softly, what the hell... Is he trying to say my butts too big?... Well in this position it probably is...

"I don't know what that means exactly... But if it's something your subs have never done to you... Then I'm happy... As being compared to them... Would be kind of hard" I squeeze into him,

"Ana there is no comparison... Believe me... No comparison at all..."


	21. 21 Morning Glory

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx T

Swigging off the last of my coffee, I head for the sink and rinse out my cup. Picking up my keys I head for the elevator. Hopefully, I can get there and back, before Gail gets that sexy butt of hers out of bed, I have plans for our morning... No such luck... My eyes roll as Gail appears.

"Get your butt back into bed" I say heading towards her, she is pulling on her dressing gown, yawning widely, shaking her head.

"Oh Jason, I would love to but Mr Grey will be up soon, I need to make a start on breakfast" I suppress a chuckle, Oh she is gonna love this...

"No... Not today you don't baby" I pull her towards me, my arms circling her waist, she snuggles into me, God I love the feel of this woman, "He never came home did he?" she asks as her eyes widen hopefully, I smile down at her, shaking my head.

"Nope... I heard from him at the crack of dawn" I place a kiss on top of her sweet head, "We're off the clock until he returns" she pulls back. Her gorgeous face joyful.

"Is he still with Miss Steele at her place?" Oh lets have some fun... I shake my head slowly, eyes sad "Sorry baby" Her face falls... Crap... Well I feel like a right shit. Hugging her to me, her voice is worried as she speaks.

"Where is he? Is he okay? He hasn't done anything stupid has..." Her motherly concern for him out rivals Grace's, I smile, reassuring her quickly.

"He's fine baby... Sorry, he and Ana are held up at the Fairmount, No doubt getting to know each other... Very well" I wink and I jump back laughing, as she takes a swing at me.

"Oh Jason you shit, how could you?" she hugs into me again, I feel her happiness radiate through her, "So last night must have gone... Very well then?" her excited eyes look up at me, I feel my dick twitch against her.

"Looks that way" I hold her close moving my hips a little rubbing against her, enjoying the sweet friction, I feel her respond by pushing herself into me, then she's gone, I look down, her face is surprised.

"Why are you up?" she asks, and I can't help but laugh.

"Because your grinding my dick baby... Why else?" she flushes giggling, Oh she is so easy to tease. I love it.

She rolls her eyes at me, "Jason you know what I mean, where are you going?" I step back remembering what I needed to do, before I was so easily distracted.

"Grey text, he needs a few things, I gotta swing by Ana's, pick up a few of her things, I also have to call in on Caroline Acton, pick up some stuff Grey has ordered for Ana" Gails brow furrows questioning, I shrug, "Silk nightwear or some shit... I don't know for sure" Gails face smirks.

"What" I ask.

"Oh nothing" she beams, "See if they're okay Jason... You know having a good time" she is so eager for info.

"What... How?... You want me to stay an watch?" I tease feigning shock,

"No silly... Oh I don't know... Just... Jason, just see if he seems happy" I belly laugh now.

"Of course he will be happy, he's been locked in a hotel room all night, they won't have been playing cards Gail" She turns beet-root but her wide smile holds, "I won't see them anyway, I have to... Drop off at reception" I drool, raising my eyebrows with innuendo, "So I would say things are good" She hasn't legged it anyway.

"I wonder why he took her to the Fairmount? Why didn't he just bring her home?" Gails brow furrows as she questions me. Fucked if I know.

"Probably didn't trust himself not to flay her alive, if he got her upstairs..." Oh Fuck... I said that out loud.

"JASON HOW COULD YOU?" Gail nearly screams, Christ woman watch the old ears, "It is not like that with Ana, you've seen him... He is different with her"

"I know I'm sorry baby, just the first thing that popped into my head... You can't blame a guy Gail, it's all we've ever seen him do, Christ... As far as I know, he's never even shared a bed so... We don't know how this is gonna go" Gail nods slowly, concern in her eyes, she knows he has a darker side, but I'm sure she will stay hopeful... Enough for the both of us.

"What's he doing about work?" she asks, searching for that little ray of said hope.

"What about it? He's the boss, he can do what the fuck he likes, everyone of importance has been informed he's unavailable for the foreseeable, everything has to come through me or Ros" her eyes brighten once again.

"If he is not thinking about going into the office, maybe things are going well?" I fuel her hope.

"I'd say things were going great Gail... He text after... Spending the night with her. Listen I'll get gone, quicker I go... Quicker I'm back, so get back to bed, I have plans for you, so be... Waiting" I kiss her hard and slow, debating whether to leave Grey hanging. I feel her hands slide down my back and squeeze my butt as she pulls away.

"Wake me if I manage to get back to sleep" she winks and sashays out of the room.

"You bet baby... You bet..."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx K

I step out of bed grab my robe, pull open my bedroom door and tiptoe out, as I reach Ana's room I put my ear to her door listening for any sign of life. Nothing... I stayed out late to give them as much time together as possible, when I found the place deserted last night, I recall smiling at how the roof scenario must have worked. As if it could fail, she could have taken him to McDonalds and still had her wicked way with him. I quietly open her door and peek inside, I smile when I see her bed is empty. Well... The girl got lucky... About bloody time.

Suddenly I feel warm arms wrap around me, feel Elliot's rough unshaven chin rub my cheek and cringe away giggling, "What we looking for?" he asks kissing my neck, I lean back into him, grinding softly into his morning glory, he purrs a groan into my ear,

"Just checking on Ana, her beds not been slept in, I..." As he nuzzles my neck I can feel my legs start to wobble.

"Come back to bed" his soft husky voice vibrates right through me, Oh yes please but the sound of Elliot's mobile vibrating on the kitchen Island, distracts us both. Still wrapped in each others arms we begrudgingly head for the kitchen, on separation I go for the kettle, Elliot for his phone.

"Work" he mumbles, then I notice his eyebrows shoot up, "Well... I know where your friend is, I got a text from Christian, shit at 6.15am... He has taken Ana to the Fairmount for a few days, Christ what has she done to him?" he looks at me bemused shaking his head, I fix us both a coffee and sit opposite him.

"A few days... Well the roof definitely paid off" I snigger. You go girl.

"What roof?" he asks looking totally confused now.

"This roof, Ana wanted to seduce your brother, not that she even needed to try... She invited him for dinner and well, on our roof is a nice little spot to wine and dine, so she pushed the boat out, candles, home cooking, the works, her night went well it would seem, if your brother is planning on keeping her busy" I hear Elliot laugh. Maybe me and Ell could put it to good use, oh that's a very nice thought.

"He will need a few days, he will be all fingers and thumbs, will take that long for him to get it right... She is his first girlfriend after all" he teases, As if... is my only thought,

"That you know of" I state. No way, has that man been abstinent, he's far too powerful not to have a willing fan club.

"Seriously Kate, I have never seen him with anyone, no dates, no office dabbling, nothing... Ever, not even in college, he never got involved with anyone, rowing was his only passion, never even just popped his cherry, studied and rowed, that was it, I even tried to set him up a few times, he showed no interest, until now"

I still don't believe he has never dated, "Are you sure he's not gay?" he must have some sexual past.

"Well Ana will be able to answer that one, next time you see her" he laughs into his coffee mug.

"Ell, he's a hunk of a man, rich powerful handsome... He has nothing on you of course" I add when his eyes widen, "But your telling me, that no one has ever turned his head before Ana? I know Ana is all kinds of wonderful... But I just find that so hard to believe" Elliot just shrugs, "What was his problem? I know he has a reputation as a hard, cold businessman but surely someone..." Elliots shaking his head adamantly.

"Kate, Christian has always been closed off, been cold, kept everyone at a distance, until now... I told you, the Christian you met the other night at dinner is not the brother I have known all these years. Ana seems to be good for him, she is the first person we have ever seen him with, and the change was astounding, Mom is still walking around on cloud nine, she will freak when she finds out where he is now" he smiles warmly, obviously fond and happy for his brother, and well Ana could certainly do worse, her first time is with Christian Frickin Grey. I shake my head into my coffee mug smiling.

"What is it?" Elliot asks.

"I know it's hard to believe... But Christian is Ana's first boyfriend" Elliots eyes shoot up, "She's had a few dates, but never... You know got down and dirty"

Elliot's belly laugh bounces around the apartment, my giggle joins his, "Shit they really are meant for each other arnt they?" he shakes his head dumbfounded, eyes wide.

"Certainly looks that way" I finish my coffee and lean over the counter, eager to take Elliot up on his previous offer, "We going back to bed or what?" I ask leaning further to make contact with his lips, he meets me half way, and our lips lock, he pulls away breathless "Most definitely baby" he heads toward me, taking my hand in his he starts to lead me to the bedroom but our plans are dashed yet again, by a sharp knock on the front door.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx T

As the door swings open my stance straightens, "Morning Mr Grey" I greet, as he opens the door in shorts and a T, "Mr Grey has asked me to pick up a few of Miss Steele's things".

"Sure Taylor, come on in" he stands aside as I walk in, I see Ana's room mate fixing coffee.

"Morning Miss Kavanagh, Mr Gr..." I stop speaking as she raises her hand.

"I heard, give me a Sec and I will grab what she needs" she pours herself a coffee and heads out the room, Mr Grey pours himself one, and gestures to the pot.

"No Thank you, Mr Grey" I don't want to linger, I wonna get my arse home. The room mate returns, holding a small overnight bag, she has clothing in her arms, I notice her glance at Mr Grey.

"I'm not sure whether to pack her any Pjs" she giggles "Seems like a waste of time to me" I step forward and take the bag from her hands, desperate to get out of here, as this shit has just got embarrassing.

"I have already acquired Miss Steel new night attire" her eyes widen in amusement,

"Have you now" she leers,

"Yes, on Mr Greys request, now if you would both excuse me, I really do need to deliver this" I turn to head for the door,

"God, you were right, he has got it bad" I hear the room mate say, Mr Grey laughs,

"Told you... Taylor before you go, would please explain to Kate here, how Ana is my brothers first and only girlfriend" Fuck... I aint saying shit. I head for the door, "Taylor" I turn begrudgingly to face them.

"I have never seen Mr Grey date anyone... So yes, she is" I state very diplomatically, the room mate's voice hits me.

"That don't mean shit... Does he have night time visitors Taylor?" God you can tell she's Press.

"It's not my place to say Miss Kavanagh" I'm so out of here, I reach the door, pull the handle and quickly step outside.

"Taylor" Mr Grey calls after me, No Fucking way am I getting into this, especially with his brother, Fuck No.

"See, no way is Ana his first and only conquest" the room mate's voice hits my ears before I am out of range, Fucking Press.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx C

The utter contentment I feel at this moment is sublime, the heart I never realized I had is overjoyed. Pulling Ana closer I smile, even in the hot water I can feel her warmth, the warmth my body has been craving. I don't know how long we have been like this, feels like hours, I just don't want to move, don't ever want to break this closeness that we have right now.

She's perfect. After trusting me to play... God play doesn't even cut it, it was no where near close to anything I had ever experienced before, I felt so close to her, so beguiled by her, she amazes me, she trusted me and for that I love her all the more. I saw her apprehension when she saw me with the curtain ties, but she still trusted me enough to restrain her, it never panicked her at all, she gave herself to me completely. Knowing what she does about me, she still felt safe, she... Ana's sweet voice breaks into my thoughts.

"Christian, we need to get out of this bath" I hear her giggle looking at our entwined hands, I knew it couldn't last forever.

"You don't want me to top up the hot water again?" I ask hopefully pulling her into me closer, I feel my cock start to stir as her soft back rubs against me.

"As much as I'm loving this Christian" she arches her neck so her eyes reach me, I feel her soft butt push into me, as a groan leaves me, she smiles "We're turning into prunes" I nod in agreement, she's right. With a heavy sign I move to sit up straighter pulling Ana with me. She stands and steps from the tub, my eyes follow her every movement, her body warm and pink from the water, my body starts to react further, I just can't get enough of her. I step out quickly grabbing a towel, tying it around my waist, trying to cover my ever growing erection. Grabbing a large bath towel, I wrap it around Ana pulling her in close, I place a soft kiss on her forehead, as her arms circle my waist.

"Do you want breakfast?" I murmur into her damp hair, as her arms tighten around me.

"What time is it?" she asks into my chest, her warm breath and closeness not really helping to calm my body, I want to just bury myself in her, right here, right now... Hell that's a lie, I wanted her in the tub. We desperately need to visit a Dr, birth control has to be arranged, we can't afford to have a mishap with spontaneity. I step back and kiss her softly, her lips soft and eager, oh she is hungry but I don't think it's food she's craving, I smile against her lips, pulling away, otherwise mishap be damned, I will take her now. I breathe deeply to try and control myself.

I glance to read my watch near the sink, "It's nearly 10am, so are you ready to eat?" She needs to eat a proper meal, it's been a long time since dinner, no matter how much I want to just take her back to bed, she must eat.

"What is it with you and food?" she asks, grabbing a small towel, she leans forward and starts to dry her hair, "I am hungry though"

"What do you fancy?" I quickly dry and pull on a hotel bathrobe, Ana wraps her hair in the towel twisting it.

"Well I've had one of my five a day..." I hear her sultry voice purr, giggling she raises her head, cheeks flushed, eyes hooded, I return her wanton gaze, I need to get out of here sharpish, as images of how she acquired her fruit intake comes to mind and my cock starts to throb, "So the works, I'm starving... Bacon eggs, pancakes, juice..." I head for the door, unsure how much longer I can keep my hands off her, I need distance.

"I will order, you get dressed" Please get dressed, you are far to temping in just a towel. I head into the bedroom for the hotel phone, picking it up I dial reception and place our breakfast order, they inform me Taylor has been and everything will be brought up immediately.

"Into what? I can't wear my dress" I hear her shout over the hair dryer, I shout back.

"I contacted Taylor earlier, he..." I hear the hair dryer stop, and she appears at the bathroom door, "He went to your place and picked up your purse and a few of your things, including your phone and keys hopefully, we did leave in quiet a hurry, I also had him pick up some new nightwear for you, reception is sending everything up now" her eyes shoot up, but she smiles, I can't wait to see her in something slinky, to feel it on her skin, to peel it from her soft warm body... I notice her flush, my face must be giving away my desperate need for her.

"Thank you Christian, that's very thoughtful of you, and I really should let Kate know where I am" she steps towards me, lifting her arms she wraps them around my neck, I hug her waist and smile.

"I sorted that too, I also contacted Elliot this morning, so she knows you're safe" I lean in and kiss her, our kiss is slow soft and sensual, three of my new most favorite sensations... Who would of thought. I feel our kiss turning hotter more desperate, Ana's hands move to my back holding me close, my body comes alive, I take a small step backwards, to the bed or to escape I'm not sure which, but Ana steps with me, in total sync, thankfully a sharp rap on the door gives me the chance I need to break away, "God woman you're insatiable" Not that I'm complaining in the slightest, but we do need to keep our strength up, so food... First.

I place my hands on her shoulders and place a soft kiss on her brow, she's breathless, smiling, her body eager, "Go" I murmur into her hair, before turning her towards the bathroom and smacking her on her amazing behind to playfully send her on her way, she yelps and flushes, her hand instantly going behind her to rub her cheek. The fire in her eyes hasn't diminished, she is so tempting, while laughing, I shaking my head clear, leave the room and head through the suite, to answer the door.

Opening the door, the bell boy nods politely "Sir" I step aside and he enters placing our bags down, "Your breakfast will be with you in ten minutes Sir" I Thank him, tip him, and close the door behind him. Picking up our bags I head for the bedroom, in the bathroom, Ana has her head upside down, hairdryer blasting away, she turns her head upwards slightly as my feet come into her line of view, I place her bags on the floor in front of her, "Thanks" she yells over the noise, shaking my head chuckling softly to myself I turn and leave the room, how on earth could this feel so right, so comfortable, just having her in the bathroom feels like we've been doing it for years.

Heading to the bed where I left my bag, I open it and pull out my shaving kit, finding pajama bottoms and a fresh T, I quickly dress while running the electric shaver over my chin. As I finish I hear a knock on the door once again. The food is brought in and quickly set up on the dining table, the server graciously tipped, leaves happy. Sitting at the table, I pick up the newspaper Taylor brought and start to quickly glance through the business section, an article catches my eye just as Ana walks into the room. A smile spreads over my face, I put down my paper, as she tiptoes in looking totally adorable in the knee length, cream silk gown and robe, silk suits her, she blushes as she nervously pirouettes in front of me. I stand and walk towards her, cupping her face, "You look very beautiful, Anastasia" I whisper into her hair, her flush heats my palm, I kiss her cheek quickly and lead her to the table, before I throw her onto it. Pulling out the chair opposite mine I invite her to sit, she does eagerly and I sit down and remove the covers on our plates.

"Thank you Christian, this looks delicious I'm starving" picking up her fork she tucks into her breakfast, following her lead, I pick up my cutlery. After a few minutes of comfortable silence as we eat, Ana looks up, her beautiful blue eyes meeting mine,

"How long are we staying?" her voice is low, she has that wanton look in her eyes that she hasn't learnt to hide yet, I chuckle playing along,

"How long do you want to stay?" I personally want to stay as long as I can, I never want to leave,

"Don't tempt me Chrisitan, I'm so happy at this moment I don't want our bubble to burst"

"Hey, I'm up for your idea of two years in bed if you are" that appeals so much, and could so easily be arranged.

"Oh yes please" her voice purrs, then she giggles "But what about work?" I shrug, it's not important now,

"What about it?" I say flippantly, her brow furrows with concern,

"Christian you run a million doll..." I raise my eyebrows, cocking my head to one side,

"Multi-billion" I correct and see the shock hit her face, her eyes crease with worry,

"God that's even worse... You can't afford to be spending time here with me, your empire will crumble" I can't help laughing as I shake my head, I need to reassure her, we are not leaving... Not yet. This bubble is not going to burst.

"Ana, Ros and her team will be able to manage for a while, I have the best people in all key positions, in order to be able to do this, everything will run smoothly, plus they know where I am if it's life or death" and it had better be, if anyone disturbs me for anything less they're fired.

"You're not worried or needed at all?" her concern eases a little, I shake my head,

"Not in the slightest, Ros can deal with everything, she has more ball's than most of the men I know, she can handle anything that arise's... So I'm all yours baby" I see her eyes widen at my last few words, and her tongue slowly runs over her top lip, I feel my need for her start to rise, literally, under the table and place down my cutlery,

"Really" her voice purrs,

"Oh yes" I purr right back, her eyes widen slightly,

"What ever are we going to do?" she asks feigning innocence while biting her lip, a small moan leaves me, God she enthralls me,

"What ever you want baby... What ever you want" I just want to take her back to bed, and never leave, and by the look in her eyes, that's exactly where we are headed,

"What ever I want" her voice is low as excitement and yearning hits her eyes, and I call on all my restraint to not just dive over the table,

"Yes..." I manage to answer, I notice her shift in her seat, before pushing her chair away from the table, she is so enjoying this, her body just as eager as mine, I push my chair out too,

"I want... To play... With you" she whispers as she stands up, she walks around the table trailing her fingers on the wooden top,

"Again... God you are a rabbit" I chuckle as she reaches me, I place my hands on her hips as she straddles my lap, she holds my eyes, hers are dark hooded needy, her breathing is slow and deep. My body is alive in response to her, and as I feel her hands softy touch my chest I moan deeply, the heat that reaches me from her touch instantly calms me. She kisses me softly then runs her nose along my jaw to my ear, I hear her soft voice, as all the hairs on the back of my neck come alive, as her fingers start to run through my hair, god I want her so much.

"No... I want to play with... You..." she kisses my neck slowly, I lean into her gripping her hips tighter, "I want to explore your body... Like you have mine" she takes my earlobe with her teeth and pulls it gently, I slide my hands around her hips, reaching her soft cheeks, I pull her forward, and hear her soft moan in my ear as my erection meets her, "I want to find all your sensitive spots..." I feel my eyes close and my breathing deepen. I need her to touch me, want her to, her words continue softly in my ear, "See what makes you squirm" I feel her grind into me slowly, my erection growing uncomfortably tight in my pajama bottoms, "I want to hear you moan" and I do as she grinds me harder, her tongue trailing my neck, "While I play with you..." I hold her tighter, she cups my face, and moves to kiss me, her lips claim mine, God she's good, I need her so much, I know she won't hurt me but...

I pull away from her a fraction our lips still close, "Ana... I..." her eyes hold mine, as she kisses me, her thumb brushing my cheek,

"Christian, I won't hurt you... We will take this slow..." she kisses me softly in-between each sentence, "Go at your pace... You are in control... All you have to do is say stop" as she repeats my own words back at me, I yearn for her, My arms tighten around her holding her close, I feel her lips at my ear "This is all about touch Christian... There will be no sex unless you beg" her giggle vibrates down my neck, and that's it, I can take no more. Holding her close I stand quickly, her arms circle my neck and she moans as her legs wrap around me, I nuzzle into her neck inhaling deeply and running my nose up and down her soft neck, I head for the bedroom.

Kicking open the door I rush to the bed and throw her down in the center, she squeals as she bounces and raises herself up on her elbows, I slowly start to climb over her, our eyes locked are bodies wanton, her hand touches my chest halting me, she shakes her head,

"Oh no you don't, Mr Grey... We need to swap places" and she ducks out under my arm and scoots off the bed, I chuckle as my eyes follow her, as my body follows her, I roll onto my side then my back, she stands at the foot of the bed. God she looks amazing, hair wild eyes bright and excited, her body alert to her desire, she smiles as her hand bushes my leg.

She slowly starts to walk to the head of the bed trailing her fingers, alone the sheets, my eyes follow her, I am totally mesmerized, "Just lay down baby arms above your head" she giggles, my body yields as I stretch out my arms to the bed posts, hearing her use my own words to calm me, makes me yield to her more, her eyes hood as she licks her lip, Oh... She is tasting the control she has over me, and for the both of us it's such a turn on.

As she passes along side me she trails her fingers up my chest and along my arm to my wrist, picking up the discarded curtain tie she runs it along my arm, I feel my gasp at the thought of being restrained "We won't be needing these" she comforts "As it's our first time... I don't want you to feel any panic or anxiety" she kisses me softly, "So this will involve only your own will power, just hold the posts" she whispers into my ear, and God, my cock is going to burst.

I grip the two posts eagerly, holding on tightly and revel in her gaze, she heads away trailing the ties and her fingers down my chest. As she reaches my waist band she pulls on the draw string tie of my pajamas, I feel my cock lurch, she trails the tie down my legs as she reaches my feet she drops it and runs her hands over my feet and up my legs, her eyes hold mine as he climbs onto the bed, her hands sill moving she reaches my hips takes hold of my pajamas an whispers "Hips up baby" and I instantly comply.

As she shuffles backwards off the bed she pulls my Pjs with her and I groan loudly as my cock is freed, God I want to just explode right now, her enticement alone has my heart pounding in my ears, my breath gasping, my eyes rolling.

As she reaches the end of the bed, she pushes my feet apart further, staring into her eyes I'm lost, I would do anything for her, will do everything for her. She slowly moves around the bed to the bedside draw and takes out a condom, a flush hits her cheeks and my heart pounds, her nerves and excitement so new and fresh, it's written all over her that she loves this, and Good God... So do I, I can't remember ever being this excited, this trusting, this free.

She heads back to the foot of the bed, placing the condom near my hip, she flushes further as she opens the tie on her robe and slips it off her shoulders, she crawls onto the bed, kneeling in-between my feet, she places both her hands on my thigh's and slowly leans forward, I lay my head back my eyes rolling in anticipation of her touch.

I feel her lips touch the inside of my thigh and my body slightly bucks, God one kiss and I am reeling, her soft kisses climb further up my leg, my cock swells the nearer she gets, I feel her reach the soft indent at the tops of my thigh, she nuzzles in, she is so close... God, touch me Ana... Please... Her soft kisses miss me and I groan as her lips touch my stomach, my only comfort from her sweet torture, is the feel of her breasts swathed in silk brushing over my swollen cock.

As she reaches my chest, I feel her soft hair trailing over me and my breathing is heavy, the need I have to just flip her over and bury myself in her is overwhelming, but this is her time to play, and god I want to let her. Her kisses reach my neck and I have to grip tighter to the bed post before all will is lost, I need to touch her, need to feel her. Her lips leave my neck and trail my jaw she kisses me softly deeply, pulling away her eyes fall on the pillow and she smiles, her hands move and she picks up the eye mask,

"Is this okay" her voice is cautious but my body responds, as I feel my cock twitch in conformation against her silk covered belly, she giggles and kisses me, she leans back slightly, and I raise my head, she pulls the mask in place and I groan as the darness hits and my anticipation reaches new limits, she softly whispers into my ear. "Now Christian this is all about touch" my body arches into her as her kisses start to trail my neck once again, "The longer you hold out... The better it will be..." her soft tongue swirls on my chest brushing my scars, my cock bucks against her chest, I moan "Feel it... But don't give in" I hear her giggle against my chest, and I'm once again overwhelmed by her.

Now I know how she felt... The anticipation of waiting for someone to do something to me is captivating, it's been a long time since I have been in this position... But that memory is tainted with fear or punishment... This is so different, I don't fear her... She wants to touch me... Enjoy me... Please me... My hands reach for her, softly cupping her head, she stills,

"No touching Mr Grey" she scolds playfully, and I reluctantly take hold of the posts once again.

Oh God... She's good...

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A

Watching him writhe beneath me is such a turn on, and crawling around on a bed in silk and no underwear only heightens my body's reactions. I want to just grind him into the bed, the feeling of power over his pleasure is so erotic. One touch in a certain place has him squirming, his breathing is deep and gasping his body totally at my mercy, I think this is as new for him, as it is for me, and boy do I want him to enjoy it.

I trail my tongue over his pert nipple and smile at the moan that leaves him, his hips raise slightly and he brushes his erection against me, I tail my tongue down his chest to his stomach then sit up on my heels, looking at him in all his glory is such an afrodisiac, to watch him respond to my touch and mine alone is such a heady feeling, I can understand why he likes the control, its such a trip.

I trail my fingers up his thighs and slowly trace them over his glorious erection, I see his response as his eyes roll under the mask and his jaw slackens I smile, I so want to touch him, taste him, please him. I take hold of him and slowly start to move my hand up and down, my other hand softly cupping his balls, he groans and pushes his hips up. I squeeze him a little harder, moving my hand a little faster, his breathing quickens "oh Ana" he gasps. I lean in and place soft kisses on his balls, his body freezes but I continue, until I feel him relax. I draw my hand up slowly firmly and rub my thumb over the tip of him, he groans and I glance up and notice his back is arched from the bed, his knuckles are white with the grip he has on the posts, I slowly draw my tongue up the length of him and the feral sound that leaves him sends a quiver right through me, I sigh against him, and take the tip of him into my mouth.

Swirling my tongue around and around, his knees move inward to grab my hips, I tease the top of him with my tongue once more, before I take him fully in my mouth, sucking hard I start to move, drawing him in deep I feel him shiver and it urges me on, up and down I move, faster and faster harder and harder matching my movements to his deep needful breaths, I gently stroke his balls and feel them tighten under my touch, I'm not sure now far to go with this, I don't know how near he is, I want him inside me, I want to please him with all of me.

I slow my mouth down and reach to his hip, I feel around and find the condom, I hope I can do this properly, I don't want to hurt him, I pull back from him slowly sucking hard till I reach the tip, then I swirl my tongue one last time before pulling away, his moan is enfueling, I quickly shuffle forward ripping the condom open, remembering what I say him do, I pinch the top and carefully place it on him and slowly roll it down, his groan rolls with it all the way. I need him, need him now, I can feel how aroused I am, how aroused he has made me without even touching me, just pleasing him has sent my body into overdrive.

With the condom on, I push his knees down and straddle him, I move forward till I feel him, then lean in and kiss his chest, his neck, his face, as my lips touch his I take hold of his cock firmly in my hand and position myself above him, I kiss him hard and he instantly responds, his arms move but he holds on, I slowly rub the tip of him around and around my wet flesh and moan into his ear at the feel of him, I can't take anymore, I need him. Slowly I lower myself onto him, my deep moan as I take all of him, matches his, "oh god... Christian... I love you" his arms are around me in a second holding me tightly to him,

"Ana... I love you" he breathes into my neck, I bring my hands to his face and push off the mask, I kiss his eyes, his brow, his cheeks, his lips, and as I do he rolls us over, he starts to slowly moves stretching me pleasing me, murmuring my name over and over in my ear, he leans up onto his elbow and trails is hands down my whole body, grabbing my nightgown he pulls it up, I arch my back as it rides up and lift my head as he pulls it from me, the feeling of the silk brushing my skin only heightens my need for him. He bury's his face in my breasts, suckling, teasing my nipples I feel my whole body tense, I know my orgasm is close, I wrap my legs around him and run my fingers through his hair,

"Faster... Please Christian" I beg, his head shoots up and his lips reach mine, our kiss is hard fast, our tongue's battling and I feel him start to move faster harder, he leans up further pounding harder and my body starts to build, I trail my hands down his back and clutch his firm behind to urge him on, I am so going to come, I feel his breathing quicken and I know he is close, "come for me baby please" I murmur against his lips and he explodes on command. Holding each other close we calm, his voice is panting in my ear, his kisses trail my neck,

"God Ana... I love you... Thank you baby..."

What the hell is he thanking me for... He is absolutely amazing...


	22. 22 Digging Deeper

A/N THANK YOU ALL, YOU WONDERFUL PEOPLE FOR ALL THE GREAT REVIEWS.  
SORRY THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS THINGS YOU HAVE ALL READ A MILLION TIMES BEFORE, BUT ANA DOES NEED TO KNOW ALL THE NITTY GRITTY.  
THANKS FOR READING.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A

Lying in Christian's arms, with my head on his chest, my fingers running gently through his soft chest hair, I sigh deeply, I feel totally content, totally happy and for now... Totally satisfied. His arm is around me, his fingers trailing patterns on my back, he leans forward to kiss me softly on the top of my head, turning to face him, I notice he looks exactly how I feel. I smile before leaning up to kiss him, our kiss is slow, contented, but could so easily escalate, I pull back slightly and we both chuckle.

"Is it always like this?" I ask him with my eyebrows raised, my chin resting on his chest, "How do people live normal lives, when all they want is to be wrapped up with somebody else?" his hand softly strokes my hair as his beautiful gray eyes burn into mine, he smiles and slowly shakes his head.

"I've no idea baby... This is all so new for me too, but I know how you feel... I'm so happy right now, I don't want to be anywhere else either" he kisses my brow "I love you Ana" he whispers, his fingers brush my jaw, My eyes close with my contented sigh as my face leans into his touch.

"I love you too Chrisitan, more than I ever thought possible, I have only known you for a short time but... You mean everything to me" and I realize that my spoken words are so true, as the thought of ever losing him, is truly painful. He shifts and rolls suddenly and I roll onto my back, he loom's above me, my arms wrap around him as his hand cups my face, he leans in an kisses me softly, before placing his brow to mine, he has a touch of sadness to his eyes, his voice is pained.

"Ana... I couldn't lose you... Not now" his soft lips brush mine, "Not after this... What we have shared... It would kill me" he trails his fingers along my cheek pushing my hair behind my ear.

"Me too Christian, I..." his lips claim mine, our kiss is slow, full of meaning, conveying our true feelings, our embrace is tight as he rolls us both so once again I am laying on his chest, his arms hold me close, as his lips leave mine I hear his whispered voice utter my name.

"Oh Ana, Ana, Ana" his lips are in my hair as he pulls me tight into his chest, my cheek resting over his heart, hearing it's comforting beat, I close my eyes and cling to him. I love this man, with all that I am, all I can give, he owns my heart entirely. I never want to be without him in my life, he is my life... I feel him, every cell of my body is drawn to him, needs him, couldn't survive without him now.

We cling to each other not saying anything, our breathing in time, our hands mirroring each others actions, his brush through my hair, mine brush the cluster of scars on his chest. The only imperfection on his glorious body, My heart literally aches at the thought of what could of happened to him. I noticed he has them on his back too, and the thought of the pain he must have gone through tares me up inside, to be hurt so badly, that you fear being touched, must be such a heavy burden to bare. I turn my head slightly an kiss the closest one to me, as if trying to heal the pain they have caused him, his arm tightens around me.

"Why haven't you asked me about them?" he whispers into my hair, I lay my palm flat over them rubbing gently, his hand covers mine,

"I'm sure you will tell me, when you want me to know" I whisper back, I feel a heavy breath leave him as he cups my head to his chest,

"You do need to know Ana... You need to know all about me" his voice is low, I feel a ripple of tension roll through him. I don't think he really wants to discuss this, but one thing I have learnt in the short time I have known him, is when he needs to talk, he talks.

"Christian it's fine" I lift my head to meet his gaze, I shake my head but his eyes are adamant, despite his bodies hint of reluctance, he needs to get this off his chest, literally I hope... Will it help him, me knowing everything? Since our going into his room, he has been a different person. I knew we had to face this, dig a bit deeper into his past, the reasons behind the room that he has, but is now really the best time? And do I really want to know?... Whether I want to or not... I think I'm about to find out.

His thumb brushes my cheek, "No Ana... We do need to talk about this, you need to hear this" I nod slowly and lay my head back down on his chest, I wrap my arm over him and hug into him, his arm holds me close, his other hand softly stroking my head, I feel him take a few deep breaths before his melancholy voice reaches my ear. "I was adopted by Grace and Carrick... We all were... " My eyes widen, I had no idea, Kate never mentioned that, it does explain why they all look nothing alike though, "Before Grace saved me..." his voice continues.

"Saved you?" I hear myself ask, my voice barely audible,

"Yes Ana... Saved me... Grace she... My birth mother was a... Drugged up... Whore..." I feel the bile run off his last word, his arm tightens more around me, My hand rubs his side,

"Did she do this to you?" my voice is low,

"No... Her boyfri... Her pimp did..." the amount of utter contempt I hear in his voice is shocking but so justifiable. I can't help wonder if he has faced this demon in adult life, destroyed him like he deserves, crushed him underfoot, or at the very least had him put in jail, I personally would have had Taylor bump him off, slowly, how anyone could do that?...

"For how long did he hurt you?" why in the hell did that question leave me? As if it matters, five minutes were enough to justify him getting strung up,

"Until I was four years old... He treated me like a punching bag... With his cigarettes he..." I freeze in his arms, and try to bury my gasp into his chest, four years, good God... Cigarette burns... Oh the poor baby, and that's all he was. I feel tears pool in my eyes as Christian kisses my head, "She killed herself... An overdose... He didn't stick around after that... They didn't find us for a while..." Oh dear lord, for a child to go through that, no wonder he has issues, demons, a need to control,

"We were on our own for a few days... Before they came... Grace was at the hospital where they took me... She saved me, wanted to protect me, gave me a home" his tone has softened, his voice now awe filled at the memory of his new Mom, releasing him from his torture, next time I see Grace and I don't care if I have only just met her, she's getting a big hug from me.

"Good God Christian how could they, you were a baby... You..." I look up at him, the tears run down my cheeks unhindered now, "I can't comprehend how someone could be so callous and cruel, Oh Christian" my voice sobs, God he had no control over anything, the pain and suffering he must have gone through, I bury my head into his chest, then start to kiss, anywhere and everywhere, needing to comfort him, take it from him, his chest is wet with my tears, he takes my face and kisses my quickly calming me.

"Ana please don't cry... Don't please" he pulls me close as my sobs continue, his voice traced with desperation, "Please Ana, it was a long time ago" his voice tries to sooth, but the compassion I feel for him is heart wrenching so my tears continue,

"How can I help you?... What can..." I feel his lips kissing my head,

"Oh baby... You have helped me so much already, more than you could possibly know" he lifts my face so our eyes meet, his eyes are pleading, "Please don't cry" his thumb brushes my tears from my cheeks, "Ana before I met you, I could never have been like this with anyone, I couldn't tolerate to be touched, but now..." he smiles, his face soft, eyes wide in amazement. "Look at you, look where you are, what your hands are doing, your touch calms me Ana, even subconsciously you've helped me..." his face is so sincere, "I have had nightmares my entire life Ana" I'm hardly surprised after what he must have gone through, "I could never sleep more than an a few hours before the dreams dragged me back... But since I met you... I have slept so much better, I still dream but... Well I dream of you now, and that is not a bad thing" he cups my face and leans to kiss me softly, "I love you Ana, you have helped me overcome so much, in such a short time, you have changed me so much, I. ..." I lean into him kissing him deeply, my hand cupping his face, he holds me tight, I taste my tears as they reach our lips. He moves to kiss my cheeks, catching them, I pull away to look at him, "Stop crying, please Baby" he whispers and pulls me flat to his chest, holding me tightly he gently rocks me, stroking my hair, his soft comforting words continue in my ear until my tears slowly stop.

We lay wrapped in each others arms, not saying anything for a long time, I feel his even breath underneath me, his steady heartbeat against my face, I just want to climb inside him and take all his pain away, make him forget. I try to get my head around what he must have gone through, how he must have felt. Such a small child having to deal with so much, he must have been so scared. How could any parent let that happen to their child? Let them be hurt like that, the life he must have led, hell... The life she must have led, suddenly I feel sympathy for the drugged up woman who couldn't help him, couldn't help herself, I wonder what she was like, what happened to her for her to fall into such a tragic life.

"Do you have any pictures of her? Your real Mother" I can't help ask, he stiffens slightly taking a deep breath,

"No" is his short simple answer, he obviously doesn't want to talk about her, he was only a toddler he probably doesn't remember much, oh the things he must have seen, thank god Grace came along,

"I noticed in Escala you don't have many photos at all, why not?" I feel him shrug as his hand once again strokes my hair,

"As good as Grace and Carrick are, I never felt like I truly fitted in, never really deserved to be there with them" he sighs heavily, oh his self image was shattered,

"Why not? They're your family, you have been with them for over twenty years" I ask sadly, he has had the love of a family for so long, and can't feel it,

"Well if my real Mother didn't want me, why would strangers with no obligation or connection... Then when I was a teenager I was always in trouble, always disappointing them... When I started with... Once I had my playroom, I felt and knew I couldn't get close, in case they ever saw the real me... Found out what I was... Grace would be... She would be mortified" his voice is low, pained,

"Do you still feel like that? That you can't get close to them" he kisses me, and I feel him shrug, I look into his sad gray eyes, and my heart twists, how could such a strong and powerful man, be so broken,

"The other night at dinner I... With you it felt better, I felt relaxed around them, because of you... You made it easier" his soft voice confesses, shaking my head, my hand cups his cheek,

"Christian, Grace loves you, Do you know, I probably wouldn't be here with you right now, if it wasn't for her" I lean in and kiss him, his brow lifts in question, I can't help my smile, recalling my conversation with his Mom, "She told me to trust you, not be afraid of you" I giggle as he smiles, "She said your bark was worse than your bite... All your family love you Christian, Mia especially, she worships you, look at what she did for you, an Elliot seems..." I smile as I think of Elliot "He helped us to Christian, I think he knew what he was doing, when he asked you to take me home, so all in all, we have all your family to thank for us being together, they all love you and want to see you happy" his smile widens into a grin, and he pulls me close,

"I do love them Ana, I have just never been able to really show them, or ever allowed them to show me, I have kept them at a distance for so long, I didn't know any other way, but now with you, I feel I could, I could allow Grace to get closer, I want her to" his lips are soft against my temple, "I have so much to thank you for... You've brought me to life" he hugs me tight, sighing happily,

"Christian that works both ways, I love you so much, I couldn't imagine my life without you now, I never want to" I lay my head on his chest, holding him tight,

"How do you feel now you have heard all of this?" he asks, how do I feel?

"My heart aches for you Christian, because of what you went through... What must of happened to you, but I'm happy that I have somehow brought you closer to your family... And as strange as it may sound, I can sort of understand your room now, understand your need for control and to punish, but..." I pause not sure I want to know this part of his sorry tale,

"What is it Ana? You can tell me anything" his arms are comforting his voice reassuring, I take a deep breath,

"I just don't understand how your playroom got mixed up with all of this" I feel him nod slowly, his grip tightens a little,

"I had a relationship with a woman and she introduced me to it... She knew I couldn't be touched, knew I needed to control my life or lose it... I found it helped" he offers me a small smile, my brow furrows at his words,

"How did she know you couldn't bear to be touched? Who was she?" I can't see his phobia being common knowledge, you don't really meet someone with a, 'Hi I'm Chrisitan Grey, don't touch me'. I notice his hand has stopped moving through my hair,

"She was a friend of My Mothers" his voice is quiet, I think this is uncomfortable for him to talk about but no more than it is to hear, he was seduced by an older woman, every young man's fantasy,

"Did your Mom know?" I ask, wondering if she is still friends with her,

"No Ana, Grace doesn't know, and I hope she never will" his body hints at a shudder, I can understand that, I don't think Grace would be too happy, Knowing what her friend got up to with her son,

"I can't believe you were seduced by an older woman, How long were you with her?" I shuffle and lay on my front next to him, my palm on his chest where I rest my chin, I look at him, his face is set,

"We had a relationship for six years" his voice is quiet, his eyes seem wary, it must be pretty recent,

"So not that long ago them" I mutter out loud "Did she touch you?" he shakes his head, but his lips try an hide a smirk, "Did you love her?" I ask, before realizing the implications if he say's yes,

"No Ana I didn't" I breathe, he strokes my cheek, shaking his head, I feel my brow furrow, that can't be right...

"You spent so long with her... Six years is a long time, You must have felt something?" I notice a look cross his face that I can't read, he hides it quickly as he shuffles uncomfortably underneath me,

"Ana I had feelings for her, but it was no where near... Love" his eyes soften and he smiles as he looks at me, such a lovely face, that has hidden so much, so much pain, torment, fear... And how did he deal with it all? He chose to dominate women,

"How many submissives have you had?" I blurt out again without thought, I feel his heartbeat quicken under my palm, he holds my eye,

"Fifteen" I barely hear him, his voice is so low, my eyes shoot up, fifteen, so many... Wow he must not stay with them very long, I wonder why?

"Wow, you have crammed a lot into the last few years, fifteen subs and a six year relationship, do you not pause for breath?" I feel him tense, and he tries to force a smile,

"What is it?" he shakes his head, looking more uncomfortable by the second,

"Nothing" he states, the smile still forced, what could possibly be wrong?

"Christian, please tell me, what is it?" he's starting to worry me now, I notice his deep breath as I rise up with it, his Adams apple bobs with his anxious swallow, and he averts his eyes, all not good signs, "Christian?" I ask again,

"Our relationship started when I was fifteen" I sit up pushing up from his chest, my face aghast, what the fuck... He shuffles to sit up opposite me,

"FIFTEEN... Christ Christian she was a Child molester..." he looks at me, eyes pleading for understanding, he shakes his head, trying to reach for me, I pull my hand away, "Don't you see what she did to you?" my voice is starting to rise, I feel really angry suddenly... And sick...

Christian continues to shake his head adamantly, "No Ana it wasn't like that, she..." his voice pleads, trying to convince, but no... There is nothing... Nothing he could possibly say to change my mind, BDSM with a fifteen year old boy, what... She must of been nearing fifty give or take, shit... This just gets better and better, you really couldn't make this shit up... It's a wonder he has never been on 'Jerry Springer' "Ana please, it wasn't..." my angry voice halts him,

"Yes it was Chrisitan, this wasn't seduction, or helping you, this was grooming and pedophilia, you just didn't see it, you were young vulnerable and horney, Good God... She knew all about you from your Mother, she abused not only you, but her friendship with Grace, Christ... Does your mother know she is friends with a pedophile?" I can feel myself shaking, I wrap the sheet around me, seeking some comfort from the sudden cold I feel, Christian leans towards me taking my hand, and cupping my face,

"Ana please, it helped me" I shake my head dumbfounded, how can he be so blind? "However wrong it may seem to you, I would be dead or in jail if it wasn't for her... What she did for me... I needed it..." his voice begs, urgently needing my understanding, not going to happen... This is wrong on so many levels,

"Do you still see her?" my eyes dart to his, he looks worried,

"Occasionally" he nods,

"Is she still friends with your Mother?" my voice is cautious, as I lower my head,

"Yes" he whispers, Oh Poor Grace,

"Do you still... When you see her?" I whisper, he lifts my chin, looking deep into my eyes,

"God no Ana, not for a long time, we have business dealings that's it" he states,

"How old were you when it stopped?" My heart pounds, I'm far too shaken to do the maths, he has been so unlucky, abused as a child, abused as a teen,

"Twenty one" he mutters as my eyes widen in shock,

"Shit Christian, you were abused for six years, till you were twenty one, you where a man and never tried to stop it? You didn't need this... She just took what she wanted from you, used you, where you her first? Is she still abusing young boys?" I feel sick, the things this man has been through, he pulls me into his chest, his arms around me kissing my head, I just lay into him, too stunned to even move,

"Ana it never felt like that to me, it wasn't like that... I was her submissive then she was mine... She helped me find myself, control myself, believe in myself, she helped me succeed" his words are confident strong unyielding, he truly believes all that crap, she brainwashed him good... God Freud would have loved him, he so has traces of Stockholm syndrome, how could he not see what she did to him?

He rocks us back and forth, as I blindly recall all the information I have learnt about him in the last hour, I try to clear my head, there is no point in trying to argue this out with him, his mind is set, he saw no wrong in it, he is adamant about that, what good will it do me trying to convince him? It won't, can't change anything.

He has a past I could never have imagined, all this shit has been hidden behind a powerful CEO, a front for the lost little boy that has been abused and tormented well into his adult life. Can I carry all of this?... Has it changed how I feel about him?... I have to say no, the man I have seen over these past few days is a good man, I love him, despite everything he has done and gone through. There is just one thing I must be wary of though, if it happens I don't know what I would do, don't know how I would handle it, what it would do to us...

I just hope to god I never bump into her...


	23. 23 Waterfalls

MA-RATING JUST IN CASE... DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW ;))

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx C

Clinging tightly to Ana, I lay back into the bed taking her with me, my arms securely wrapped around her, I'm not letting her go, not even for a minute... Just in case she tries to make a run for it. My mind races along with my heartbeat, should I really have told her all of that? She needed to know all about me... The whole sorry tale... All the darkness and horror.

How ever could we be together properly with so many lies and secrets between us? What if she found out further down the line and hated me for not telling her who I really am, giving her all my darkest secrets now, was my only option... But do I have far to many for her to overlook? Has it gone too far this time?.

Right from the beginning I have risked it all... My playroom terrified her... My temper kept her away... Now my past has shocked and no doubt sickened her. I'm going to lose her, and I have no one to blame but my own fucked up self.

Ana hasn't moved for quite some time now, her breathing is low but I don't think she has fallen asleep, her mind is probably dissecting every gory detail of what I have told her. Maybe I shouldn't have... I can't lose her, couldn't be without her, not now. My hand strokes her soft hair, willing her to look past all off of this, there is a lot to overlook and understand, will she be able to?

Have I finally scared her away? Has the final straw been placed on the camels back? Will she crumble and fall? Or will she run? I feel dread take over me, a slight shot of panic, my arms tighten around her as my heart constricts painfully. Whilst we talked, I felt her anger and tension, saw it radiating right through her, but it has eased now... I think. She feels calmer now, her hand that rests on my hip has started to rub small circles, I feel her hold on me get just that little bit tighter, her soft lips brush my chest, I place a hard kiss on the top of her head, breathing deeply, she seems okay... Please stay with me Ana... I love you.

She was so angry... So upset... So hurt, the look of shock that overtook her face scared me, I must repulse her. My having a play room was one thing, I think she even understood a little, even before today, but now... She knows the who, why, when and maybe... It will just be too much for her, too much for her to accept, one dark secret to many.

Recalling all that was said has my mind racing, Ana was adamant that what I told her was wrong, that it was abuse, but I can't agree. It wasn't like that. Ana's first instinct, was shock, then anger took over, then bewilderment set in and if I'm not mistaken her face now is showing pity. I don't deserve her pity... Nothing was wrong... Nothing happened that I didn't want or need, I know that, but...

I have come to realize, that Ana is pretty accurate with her initial reactions and instincts, especially with me... But no, I can't accept that, my relationship with Elena wasn't like that. I wanted it... Accepted it... Yearned for it. Yes I was young but I never felt young. It never felt wrong...

Is Ana right? Was I vulnerable? She is right about the horney part... But could I have ever done any type of relationship, any other way? BDSM was the perfect solution for me, no contact, no commitment, with my rules in place to control everything... But in the beginning Elena had all the control... She made all the rules, all the decisions... I had no choice...

My thoughts start to swirl in contradiction, and I feel apprehensive suddenly as I recall my time with Elena, in those early days right at the beginning... Did she abuse me? At the time I... John has never said it was abusive, I don't think he approved of it but he never implied I had been some sort of victim. But Ana thinks differently, could she be right? Was my whole relationship with Elena a lie? Was I totally just used? Abused?.

Will Ana still be able to love me? This fucked up tainted man that I am, I'm dark to the core. Will this ray of pure light still shine for me, now that have I have finally shown her the true monster that I am? Am I a monster she can never accept?. The pain of even thinking such a thing twists in my gut, I can't lose her over something so meaningless, something so long ago.

Elena means nothing to me compared to Ana, even in the height of my relationship with her when I lived and breathed her, she never meant this much, the last few days with Ana, out weigh my time with Elena ten fold. I have love now, I feel it, with Elena it never felt like this, not even for a second, we never did anything like this, never would have, she didn't want it and neither did I.

I have never had any doubts about my relationship with Elena before but now, things seem so uncertain. Was it wrong? I know it wasn't conventional but she never abused me... She never... But what if Ana is right? Have I always been a victim, just hiding behind the CEO facade? In part, yes, but surely not to the extent that Ana feels. I'm so confused right now.

"Who am I Ana?" I mumble softly into her hair, has my whole life been one big lie? I feel Ana turn, snuggling into my side, she looks up at me, her face is compassionate her eyes soft and kind, as her eyes bore into me, she smiles,

"Oh Christian I can't answer that, only you know your true self... But what I can say is this," her soft hand cups my face, I lean into her touch closing my eyes, "I have only known you a short while... But the man I see, the man I feel, the man with me right now, the good man, is the true you... Doesn't matter to me what happened, it hurts but I can't change it... It doesn't matter to me what you have done... It's made you the man you are... The man that I love" I lean in and kiss her, my lips needful seeking comfort, solace and reassurance from her, my heart skips as her words sink in, she wants to stay, she isn't going to run, this fucked up man that I am, has won her heart.

"I love you Ana" I whisper against her lips, I feel her smile, her eyes open, her blue eyes soft,

"I love you too Christian, all of you, no matter how bad, I can't lose you... Not now" I pull her closer shuffling down into the bed, I pull the covers over us, and kiss her once more, I feel safe with her in my arms, feel loved, feel needed.

"Lets get some sleep, then later we can have dinner downstairs," she nods and settles in, her soft cheek on my chest, her arm over me, our legs entwined, I never want to let her go, never will let her go. I smile to myself feeling a bit bewildered, how she can still love me after learning all of this? How could she still want to stay with me? She amazes me, she is a remarkable woman and I love her so much. I rest my cheek on her head, close my eyes and easily drift off, with a small smile and a much happier heart.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A

As my brain comes alive and starts to tick over, I keep my eyes closed. Trying to make sense of everything I now know, will only confuse and upset me more, as much as it sickens me to know what he went through, what that vile woman did to him, I can't change it, I can't take it away, it is part of him. Despite how he feels about it all, despite how he tried to convince me it was a good thing for him, in my mind it was wrong, so very, very wrong. But it can't be undone.

It really does hurt me to see, that he has no ambivalence about it at all, no remorse, or shame, or guilt, none of the usual traits that child abuse victims take with them into adult life, unless they are hidden very deep, and that only convinces me more that her hold over him was strong. He was so young, and not just physically, I think mentally she warped him into believing he needed what she was doing to him, and who knows maybe with his phobias it did help him physically, but mentally... I think she destroyed him, make him more closed off, only heightening all his fears, keeping him even more apart from his family, and everyone around him.

We will never know how he might of turned out without her influence over him, he is a very successful business man, respected around the globe, the control and dominance have obviously played a big part in his business life, but personally... She never helped. Would he have died or ended up in jail without her control? I can't answer that but just knowing the little I do about Grace and Carrick, I'd like to believe that they would have gotten through to him, helped him, kept him safe... But the wolf in sheep's clothing was already part of the flock, hidden away in plain sight, under the guise of a friend, a friend that Grace trusted, Christian never stood a chance, and neither did Grace.

I can feel my blood start to boil, the heat rising, I want to get my hands on her, rip her apart for what she has done to Christian, whether he sees it or not, she hurt him, and I don't just mean with whips. My need to protect him is fueled by my love for him, and I think I love him a little more for his honesty and openness. I don't think apart from with his shrink, he has never spoken about this, so maybe getting it all off his chest will help him, it usually seems to, even if I can just bring him closer to his Mom, that will be reward enough and help erase some of the damage she did, he needs his Mom.

It hasn't changed anything for me though, I still love him with all my heart, still want to be with him, still need him, still can't see my life without him now. I need to hold him, touch him, kiss him, make love with him. I shift slightly, but find I can't move, why on earth can I not move? I slowly open my eyes and smile, lifting my hand I run my fingers softly through Christians hair. His head is laying on my chest his arm pins me and his legs are over mine, he's sleeping soundly, but has a slight furrow to his brow, I wonder what he's thinking about to cause that little worry line, I trail my finger across it, and giggle softly as it disappears under my touch, I see Christians eyes flicker, then open, his wonderful gray eyes meet mine.

"Are you comfortable enough Mr Grey?" I tease, a smile creeps across his face as his eyes widen, his body moves more into me,

"Most definitely Miss Steele, I never want to sleep anywhere else" I can't hide my laughter as he burrows his face into my breasts, his hand cups one gently and my eyes roll slightly as he teases my nipple with his tongue. He rolls forward so he is in between my legs, I feel his body growing hard against my thigh, I feel his warm breath on my skin and instantly my arms are around him, holding him close. I feel my body start to react to him, the new awakened passion I have for him soon comes to mind, and I want him to touch me, need him to. I run my fingers down his back, closing my eyes I breath deeply arching into him, he raises up onto his elbow still teasing my wanton nipples, oh that feels so good.

"Well if you promise to wake me like this every morning..." I wriggle beneath him, until I feel his hard erection meet my warm sex, he chuckles against me, as he sucks and teases my goosebump ridden breasts, oh my body feels alive.

"Oh I promise baby... I promise" he drools as he runs his nose up my neck, my body shivers, as the sleeping rabbit stirs, oh I need to feel him, I run my hand down his back and squeeze his toned butt cheek pushing into me, I hear his groan in my ear, and feel him leave me, as he sits up suddenly kneeling between my knees, he smiles and shuffles backwards off the bed, he has a smile to his lips and his eyes are alive.

"Where are you going? I want you to..." I gasp my voice begging,

"Oh I know you do baby... Come on" he playfully grabs my feet and pulls me down the bed, he takes my hand and pulls me up to sit on the edge, "Come on lets take a shower" his voice is deep and low, I feel it vibrate through me, my eyes widen and I start to chew on my lip, I feel my insides flip, oh that sounds like fun. He reads my reaction and laughs "Come on you" and with that he pulls me up throwing me over his shoulder. He slaps my behind and hugs my legs close to him, heading to the bathroom I notice he pulls a condom out of the bedside draw as we pass, oh this is going to fun...

As the water falls between us, our hands are exploring, his soaped up hands are mauling my every curve, mine are soaping up his toned chest, our eyes are locked the need in both of us is plain to see. I run my tongue over my lip as I lower my hand to brush his erection, he groans as his eyes hood and he pulls me close. I feel him hard against my belly, as his lips are hungrily devouring mine, my hands circle his waist then run up his back, his sweep round my hips to grab my cheeks as he pushes into me, I groan, equally as turned on as him.

"Turn around baby let me rinse your hair" My eyes shoot open, disappointment clear, forget my hair I want to feel my man, want him to feel me, I need to. His lips kiss me softly as his hands run up my back, then down my sides then rest on my hips, he steps back and turns me to face away from him.

I tilt my head back as the water rinses my hair clean, I feel the warm water rain down my hair and over the cheeks of my behind, Christian's hands run down my hair squeezing out the suds, he twists my wet hair at the nape and drapes it over my shoulder, so my back now feels the soft fall of the water, his hands follow the water fall down my back and his hands cup my behind, "You have such lovely skin Anastasia" he whispers into my neck as a hand comes around to the front of my chest. With his palm flat he runs it down the center of my body pulling me into him as he does. I feel his firm erection between my cheeks and arch into him raising my butt up for more contact, our groans coincide as I feel him between my thighs, I bring them together and grip him, "Oh Ana, you're so beautiful" he murmurs into my ear and my neck aches as my eyes roll.

His palm that is flat on my belly pulls me into him, as his other hand runs down my back, I instinctively lean forward, my back arching in time with his fingers, I rest my hands in front of me on the tiled wall and push myself into him further. I hear his soft sigh, and my moan as his hand on my belly moves lower, his fingers find me, slowly teasing their way in, his foot comes between mine and pushes my feet apart as my legs widen he pulls me backwards,

"Let your hands slide down the wall baby" he purrs into my ear, as I step back, his fingers slide into me,

"Oh Christian" I cry as I feel his fingers start to move in and out slowly, I feel him stretching me, making way for his glorious erection,

I slide my hands further down the wall, and feel his erection brush me and his fingers, I feel his lips trailing kisses up my spine and I shift my feet further apart, he chuckles against me, I'm so ready for him and he knows it.

"Christian... Please" I beg, grinding into his fingers,

"One minute baby, don't move a muscle" he whispers, I feel him lean back slightly, he takes the condom from the soap dish on the wall and ripping it open, makes quick work of putting it on,

Then he's back perfectly molding into me, his hips lower and I feel his erection brush my wet lips, with his fingers teasing me at the front I almost come undone, "Hold on baby" he whispers his lips on my neck, his fingers slowly tease my clitoris as the tip of his erection runs circles round my wet flesh, he pushes himself in little by little teasing me with his fingers all the while, his lips kiss my neck, I arch my butt up further, I need to feel him, all of him. I push myself back on to him, he rises up with a deep satisfied moan his hand trails my back, both his hands slide in time to my hips, as he stands tall he pulls me onto him fully and Oh My fucking good God... The feel of him, his fullness ripples right through me.

"Oh Ana" his voice pants, he starts to move slowly the full length of him in and out slowly stretching me, as our breathing quickens, he starts to move faster and faster, his hands grip my hips pulling me to match his thrusts and by God it feels amazing. The water still runs down my back but meets us both now, and my skin tingles with the extra sensation. I can feel myself start to build, my legs wobble slightly so I lock my knees, Christian's hand comes around my waist and he pulls me up to him, so I'm standing up a little straighter now.

I feel his lips kiss my neck, I take one hand from the wall and reach for him, arching backwards I run my fingers through his hair, "Oh Christian faster... Faster" my voice is gasping,

"Oh Baby" he mutters and starts to move, really move, harder and harder and by Christ I'm only seconds away from crashing and burning, from falling into a heap on the floor. I need him to come too, I take my hand from the wall knowing he would never let me fall, and run my hand through my thighs and up to his balls, I squeeze gently,

"Oh God Ana" he moans and I feel him shudder, "I'm sorry baby... I need to come" and with one last hard thrust we both cry out for each other. His arms wrap around me fully as he pulls me close, leaning us both slightly forward, I feel him throbbing inside me as my orgasm grips him keeping time. Oh My Fuckin Good God, every single time gets better than the last.

I feel his slowly pull out of me, and he turns me round pulling me close into his chest, "God Ana... I love you..."

"I love you to Christian" I manage to gasp between breaths,

"Every time... Feels more amazing than the last... With you" he pants, looking at me shaking his head his eyes totally bewildered,

"Oh my thoughts exactly Christian" I look up at him and the fire is still in his eyes, I catch my lip with my teeth and hood my eyes, as the need in me rises again, he smiles slowly and steps back,

"Look I've made you all sweaty, you need washing again... Little bunny" he teases, his eyes alive and playful, I giggle at his endearment,

"Do I now" I step back reaching for the body wash, "I'd say you were just as dirty... Don't you" I purr, he licks his lips and steps towards me,

"Oh most definitely" he pulls me close, kissing me hard... His hands start to roam...

I hope we don't have timed dinner reservations... I think we are going to be in here for quite some time...


	24. 24 Ghost's

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx C

As I stand at the mirror fixing my tie, my eyes are drawn to the goddess that walks out of the bathroom. Ana's hair is wild and curly, her make up is subtle but effective, her body is flushed, and in just her black lace underwear... God she looks amazing. I feel my trousers tighten uncomfortably, and smile at the memory of our first shower together, all three rounds of it... My body reacts further as our eyes meet. She's so beautiful, and after all the shit I've told her, thankfully she is still mine and still wants to be here with me. Her eyes widen as her cheeks flush, she licks her lips then smiles.

"You look very handsome Mr Grey" she purrs in her soft voice, it's obvious her inner bunny is still very much in play, and I thank the Gods, that her appetite is equal to mine,

"As do you" I purr just as softly, my need for her is evident, she flushes as she notices my very swollen bulge. Giggling as she shakes her head, she reaches for her dress, pulling it from the hanger, she slips into it quickly but I notice her frown as she looks herself over in the mirror, she turns to me,

"Are you sure it's okay my wearing this dress again?" she questions, I walk over to her with slow deliberate steps, what is she worried about? She looks as sexy as hell in it, plus technically she has only worn it for a few hours,

"I like this dress... It's... Very accessible" I tease, pulling the tie at her hip so it falls open once again, I slide my hand over her soft skin to her hip, she giggles swatting my hand away, she steps back and quickly covers herself re-tying her dress, knowing we won't make dinner if she doesn't, I chuckle stepping away,

"Ana you look beautiful, it's only dinner, we can eat here if you prefer? I just thought you would like to see more of the hotel" that's only partly true, I need to get us out of this room, as food would be the last thing on our minds if we stayed, but it is a very fine hotel, she deserves to see it,

"If your sure I look smart enough for the dining room, I would like to see down stairs" her excitement lights up her face, making her all the more alluring,

"Ana your perfect, please don't worry, you could be wearing your work gear and you would still be the most beautiful woman in the room," she laughs and sits down on the bed to put on her shoes, as she does, my phone on the dresser beeps, I reach for it with a frown, this better be important,

"Does the world of mergers and acquisitions need you back?" her voice whispers, glancing up I notice she looks a little sad, I stride over and place my hand on her face brushing her soft cheek with my thumb,

"Baby, unless Grey House is falling down... I'm not going anywhere, you're stuck with me" wild horses couldn't drag me away from her, she cups my hand leans into my touch then turns to kiss my palm, her eyes brighten as she smiles up at me. Glancing at my phone I can't help but smile,

"It's Mia, again... She wants to know where I am and what I'm doing, shall I put her out of her misery and send her a photo?" this is her third message, she is far too nosy, but as sisters go, she is pretty special. I take Ana's hand and pull her to her feet, I place my cheek against hers and extend my arm with the phone, "Smile" I whisper, as Ana giggles I capture us together, I smile at the image of us both, we look happy, she looks beautiful, as I forward it to Mia I also quickly set it as my screen saver, God I'm such a sap.

"Could you also send that to me?" she asks looking at the picture, she laughs softly, "I'm just so glad you're talking to her, and you're not still mad at her" she smiles up at me as she places her hands flat on my chest,

"Right now I worship the ground she walks on" I wrap my arms around her pulling her to me, "My sister can do no wrong in my eyes, forever and a day I will owe her, and she knows it" I shake my head laughing, "Mia will definitely use this to her advantage but I don't care, she brought me to you" Ana's arms run round to my back as she hugs me, I hear her soft chuckle,

"What did you really think? When you came home and saw what Mia and I had done you were so mad, but Taylor assured me you wouldn't be mad... For long" I chuckle, I think Taylor probably said a lot more than that,

"I was so mad at her, her total disregard for my feelings riled me, I told her more than once to leave alone but Mia never listens, and this time, I'm so glad she didn't" I kiss her swiftly, anything more and we most likely won't make dinner, "My reaction to you, shocked me even more though, when I met you, I couldn't get my head around it, I had Welch, My 'info guy' try to find you, with Mia missing I had to have someone to tare strips off and well... I thought you were a guy, it was only when I watched the CCTV tapes that I saw the real you... I'm so glad you're not a guy" I tease, she laughs into my chest, I kiss her softly on the top of her head, running my fingers over her hair,

"I'm just glad you caught me" she whispers, holding me tighter,

"God... Me too" the thought of her falling has my heart racing, I lift her chin so she is looking at me, her loving blue eyes shine up at me, looking deep into her eyes, I tell her truthfully, "I meant what I said Ana, seeing you on those tapes has made me realize I want you with me... At home, I want to share my life with you, I need you to share your life with me, I won't rush you... Even though I want to" she giggles as I kiss her brow, letting my lips linger on her soft skin, "If I had My Way, Taylor would have already cleared out your apartment and brought everything to Escala" her eyes widen, and she shakes her head slightly bemused, "We will take this slow, at your pace" I reassure her, I can't risk scaring her away, but the thought of sleeping without her now is not a pleasant one,

"I want to be with you too Christian, I need to be close to you... Escala is amazing and I can so imagine living there... With you it would feel like home" she flushes and catches her glorious lip with her teeth, I take a deep breath to control myself, I want to just throw her backwards onto the bed. She notices my reaction and quickly releases it, running her tongue over said lip nervously, and My God that's worse, I feel myself harden against her belly and she laughs blatantly glancing down at my growing erection, she pushes herself away from me but we remain in each others arms, "I don't want to ruin things by rushing head first into anything Christian, you are my first relationship... So we could just take each day at a time and see what happens but never fear, I won't be too far away, especially at night..." I pull her close, running my fingers back through her hair I hold the nape of her neck,

"I love you Ana" I whisper, God how I love you, May be we could just stay here forever, I could just buy the hotel, I could...

"I love you too Christian" her soft voice brings me back, she steps back into me, and our lips meet, the slow teasing movements of our tongues soon have my body yielding to her, and once again she has to break the spell by pulling away, I can't help my laugh as I hear her belly rumble, food... Yes that's what we were going to do.

"Come on you, lets go and eat" taking her hand, I lead her out of the bedroom before all my coherent thoughts dissolve completely,

"Good idea" she answers with a giggle as I pull her along "We need to keep our strength up... For desert"

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A

As we enter the elevator, we both feel it, the spark between us intensifies ten fold, wow, who would have thought that confined spaces were so intense. Chrisitan turns me so I'm in front of him, his arms circle my waist pulling me backwards into him and his lips find my neck, he nuzzles in and my body shivers. I giggle as he pulls on my ear lobe with his teeth, I curl my arms over his, and entwine our fingers, as my eyes roll I feel the jerk of the elevator stopping.

As the doors slide open a couple enter, Christian doesn't even raise his eyes, totally absorbed with me he pays the couple no mind whatsoever, he steps back pulling me with him. I glance up and the gentleman politely nods with a slight smirk, I glance at the woman with him and I feel myself frown, what is her problem?... Her face is frozen, her eyes are wide and her mouth is hanging slightly open, she stands stock still. Her partner touches her back to usher her forwards into the elevator, she turns to him, smiles and on composing herself, she steps into the elevator with him. Turning their backs to us the elevator doors close and once again we are moving, I flush slightly as I catch her eye in the reflection of the mirrored doors, she is still staring, maybe she doesn't approve of public displays of affection but she seems too young to be so stuffy, still... Something has upset her,

"Christian stop" I whisper with a giggle, as he nibbles my neck harder, his face buried deep in my hair, he pulls his hand away and sweeps my hair over my shoulder, then he is straight back to his glorious assault,

"Not a chance baby" he whispers into my ear, I feel him growing hard against my behind, I push into him a little and he sighs "Oh Ana can't we just go back to our room and order? Who's silly idea was it to eat downstairs anyway," I giggle at his playfulness and his blatant arousal,

"It was your silly idea, and No... We are going, if we go back upstairs, you know we won't eat and I have definitely worked up an appetite" I glance up and lock eyes with the woman in front of me, her face is shocked, her head is shaking slightly, obviously our whispered exchange has carried around the enclosed space, she must have heard every word. I feel myself flush, glancing at her partners reflection, my suspicions are confirmed when I notice him hiding a smile.

As the elevator stops, I feel Christian shift behind me adjusting himself and closing his suit jacket, I hide my giggle. Glancing at the woman's reflection, I see her eyes widen further, then suddenly lower as Chrisitan stands up, I notice him catch her reflection and their eyes lock just for an instant, but it was enough. I hear his low gasp and he freezes, as the doors swing open the couple step out quickly, Christian holds me back pretending to fix himself, but he can't hide it... He knew her... She knew him, she was shocked to see him, he was most definitely shocked to see her.

The way her whole body changed when he stood up and looked at her, even from the back I saw the connection between them, her response to him was instinctual, her eyes lowered, her shoulders stooped and she clasped her hands in front of her, she couldn't get out of the elevator quick enough, her partner was oblivious I think... But I wasn't... She was most certainly his sub...

After Christians delay tactics are over, he takes my hand and steps past me, heading out the elevator first, with a swift, not so subtle glance left and right, he turns smiles and pulls me out. I catch a glimpse of the couple, reaching the ornate doors leading to The Georgian dining room. Christian pales slightly, as he sees them too, he looks down at me with nervousness edging into his eyes, the worry is all over him, I can feel it... He thinks I'm going to run,

"I fancy some oyster's, don't you?" he takes my hand and without waiting for my reply, he leads me in the opposite direction to the Shuckers bar.

We have been seated, our drinks are on the way, our food order is being prepared but Christians nerves have yet to subside. I sit quietly, a small smile on my face, compassion filling my heart, he is terrified. I will let him deal with this his way, for a little longer, let him get all his anxiety out of his system. Christian is overly attentive and very animated, as he informs me about our surroundings, from the oak paneling to the oysters on the menu, every detail is recalled, I smile inwardly, as his voice falters, there is nothing left now... All distractions have been dealt with. I take his hand across the table, he looks at me, at last holding my gaze.

"Who was she?" I ask, even though I know the answer already, I see him stiffen slightly, his hand grips mine, his shoulders fall slightly and before he can say anything, I answer for him,

"She was one of your subs, wasn't she?" he lowers his eyes and I see it in his face, no confirmation is needed, but he slowly nods anyway. He looks apprehensive, scared even, deep worry lines furrow his brow, I squeeze his hand reassuringly,

"Christian... It's okay... You have a past, it's bound to nip at our heels sometimes but I am curious" I notice relief flood his face, his eyes brighten,

"You sure you're okay with this? We could go back upstairs if you're worried about seeing her again" I smile suppressing a giggle,

"Christian, I think you are far more worried than I am" he nods eagerly, his voice has a desperate edge, I don't know why I don't feel worried or threatened by her, but I don't,

"I am... I don't want my fucked up past, coming between us" I shake my head at him, when will he learn?

"That's just it Christian, it won't, it's your past... I have your future which I think is a much better deal... To have been one of your fifteen would have been awful, so I'm glad it's out of your system... It is isn't it?" now my voice sounds desperate,

"God Ana yes, you're my everything, you have shown me things, we have done things that I never thought were possible, I trust you" he smiles and strokes my cheek,

"Ok, you've blind sided me enough" I pull back smiling, sitting up straight I rub my hands together in a playful keen jesture, "Question time now..." he laughs reluctantly, as I tease "Don't worry I will be gentle... But I am interested"

He shakes his head rolling his eyes, holding his hands up resigned "Go on then, do your worst" his mood has lightened,

"How long ago?" I keep my tone jovial, but dread that it was recently, I don't know why that would matter but it does,

"She was under contract about two years ago, we held are arrangement for about five months I think, I would have to check my files for exact dates" he answers like he's in a boardroom throwing semantics in the air. He is so regimented about it all, this is so not the man I have spent time between the sheets with, and my face splits into a cheesy grin, his face mirrors mine, his nerves have totally left him now,

"What happened? Why were you with her for such a short time?" I can't see why he would let her go, she was instantly compliant and her butt must be good with pain, if she does it for a living, but his answer surprises me,

"She... She wanted... The rules to change" he almost whispers while taking a swig of his wine, I notice the annoyance in his eyes, he obviously didn't like that fact, I wonder what rules she wasn't happy with? and I ask before I have time to think,

"What rules, didn't she like being hung upside down?" I joke as I notice his eyes tighten, he looks at me and shrugs,

"She wanted more from me than I was willing to offer, I had no interest in a relationship outside of my playroom or Escala, so I ended our contract" and that's that's, another one bites the dust,

"Why didn't you want her? She's beautiful, perfect" he can't be that hard to please he sleeps with me, I joke to myself,

"It didn't appeal, doesn't matter how beautiful she was, most subs are beautiful, they need to be but Ana, I didn't feel anything towards her, she had her purpose and that was it, my reaction to seeing her now, was only for worry about how it would affect you, if I had been alone, I wouldn't have even acknowledged her" he sounds so empty, these women were just things to him, I can't get my head around it, he is so different with me,

"She looks a bit like me" I mutter out loud feeling slightly dazed but his reaction to my comment catches my eye, he flushes uncomfortably and asks a passing waiter for more wine, oh what nerve did I hit? As I recall the similarities between us its pretty evident, same hair height, build, her eyes were brown but still, I wonder if all his subs were like us,

"So you have a type? Small, petite, brunette" his eyes flash to mine, and I know I have scored a bulls eye, now the question is Why?

"Why not tall leggy platinum blondes? That's usually a man's preference" my tone remains upbeat, but my mind is racing, what is he hiding? Do I really want to know? Will this be the final skeleton that sends me running? It pains me to find out. I bite my lip and can't hide my furrowed brow, I reach for my glass and take a large gulp. Christian notices everything and his panic starts to rise, he runs both his hands threw his hair, glances around the half empty restaurant before finally meeting my eye, his face is torn, he is no doubt internally battling with his answer, "Christian, what is it?" I ask,

"I prefer brunette Submissive's... For their resemblance... To my Mother" his voice is low, traces of shame, run under his reluctance and my mind spins, he likes to ... And do... With women... Who look like his Mom... Oh No...

"So... Let me get this straight... When we...When we are together... In bed, your thinking about your Mother?" I feel a little freaked at this thought, hell no, I'm totally freaked, I knew I was right about Freud loving him, and I am personally going to write to Jerry.

"No Ana, of course not, don't ever think that" his voice pleads, but my head shakes a no,

"Christian, you beat your subs as if they were your Mother, then you fuck them, so beating your Mother turns you on enough, to fuck her look alike for hours" this is getting worse the more I think about it. If all his woman looked alike, looked like his Mom, surely they must have all blurred into one, myself included. I don't feel very special at this moment, I need air, or alcohol I'm not sure which, but I reach for my wine its closest and gulp it down quickly,

"Ana please don't think that... It's not like that I promise... The control and power over the person, over the situation, overall reactions and responses is the turn on for me, not the sex it's self... Please Ana, your nothing like my Mother, You don't look like her in any way, her hair was lighter, she was taller than you, her eyes were gray like mine, she..." I stand abruptly, his hand drops from mine, his instantly sad panicked eyes bore into me "Ana don't..." he begs in a whisper, my heart tightens painfully but I need to clear my head, make sense of my thoughts,

"I need air... I'm going to the ladies" and I turn on my heel and leave, nearly bumping into the waiter with our food as I do "Miss" he gestures to the food, "I will be back in a moment" I state and head for the door.

As I sit on the closed toilet seat with my head in my hands, I try to stop it spinning, I know my reaction was totally over the top, I should have reined myself in a bit, but god that was a shock... His Mother, of all the things I expected to hear, that wasn't one of them, but that still doesn't excuse my reaction. He is probably having a panic attack right now at the table, or he will be camped outside of the bathroom door and having all hotel entrances locked to hinder my escape. I need to work out what caused my outburst, before I can even consider comforting him.

What he has told me about his Submissive relationships, assures me that ours is nothing like that, we have no rules, no contract, no restrictions, no pain. We have a connection, a bond, a need for each other, but above all, we have love... So his past relationships aren't the problem.

So now his reasons for it, now that's another matter. He stated it wasn't sexual as such, the need for the resemblance, more for the punishment side of it all, and yes, I would want to beat the crap out of someone, that allowed me to be hurt for so many years but still, how can he switch it on and off, whipping his Mother, fucking his sub, all in one action, or there abouts as I'm not too sure of the scenarios involved.

He's a very complex man, and I could easily burn my own head out if I dwell too long on all of this. With everything from, his being hurt as a child, his Mom dying, to him being adopted, being abused by a family so called friend, to his time with his subs, he is pretty fucked up... And he did warn me... The first time he opened up to me in his room at Escala, he told me he was dark, more fucked up that I would ever know, well I think I know it all now...

And once again my heart is still his, I calm instantly as the realization hits me, I love him... Warts and all. Not once when we have made love, have I thought he was somewhere else, seeing someone else, thinking of someone else, he feels like he's mine... I know he is mine.

I need to head back, make sure he's okay, I'm not sure how long I have sat here, he will be worried sick, probably sent himself gray, I chuckle to myself at my silly joke, I flush the chain and head out the stall. As I open the door my face falls, as I catch the eye of Chrisitan's sub in the mirror. I approach the sink next to her and quickly wash my hands, she stands and turns to me, her eyes apprehensive, her voice is low as she speaks, this better not kick off, I don't want to hear her stories of the positions she has been in with Christian.

"Your friends with Mr Grey" she states not asks, I nod slowly, I rack my brain for all the questions I could bombard her with, when would I ever get another chance like this, she could help quash all my doubts,

"Yes, but not the type of friend that you were to him" I answer, hopefully letting her know I know exactly who she is, her eyebrows raise, but she nods, "I'm his girlfriend" I add, her mouth pops open a few times, I think she has more questions now than I do, her apprehension is clear, I smile easing her,

"I don't really understand, Mr Grey has always had his rules... He... I'm sorry, I shouldn't be talking like this, my NDA still applies, I'm just a little shocked... He is just so different with you, I very nearly didn't recognize him" she flushes with her white lie, of course she recognized him, just from the top of his head, she couldn't even see his face, it was buried in my hair, "I have never seen him like that, so unrestrained, so... Smitten" she is genuinely amazed, I smile at her choice of word to describe him, I really have nothing to worry about, the Christian I have is the best man I know he is, she has never seen this man before, she smiles, "I hope you too will be very happy, he deserves to be... He seems to be" and it's written all over her,

"You loved him?" I ask, and she flushes and lowers her now sad eyes, she looks uncomfortable and starts to fidget with her purse in her hands, "It's okay, our conversation is between us, I won't tell him but I would like to know about the two of you" she looks up, her eyes are wary but her curiosity about me is also piqued I think, so come on woman, 'tit for tat'.

"Yes... For a time I thought I did... Mr Grey is very enigmatic... He... I was infatuated... I never meant anything to him..." her sad voice drifts off, she had real feelings for him... I wonder if all his subs felt like this at some point in their relationship with him, I'm not surprised if they did, he is very enigmatic, there must be so many broken hearts, I hope they don't form an army and try to invade,

"How do you know you meant nothing to him? Did he not show you any interest outside of his room?" I don't know the cold man she is taking about,

"Nothing like what I saw with you... Don't get me wrong, he was polite and courteous, took care of me after our sessions and was very generous" she flushes and looks down at her hands, "But he never felt anything with me, or his others, the only time he had a glint of happiness in his eye, was when he was wielding his cane... " She stops looking wary that she has said too much, I smile, feeling pity, there is such a nice man hidden under the Dominant she knew.

"How did it end between you both?" I hope he never hurt her too much physically,

"I told him how I felt... And without a second thought, even after nearly six months, he ended our contract on the very same day... And I was soon replaced... Can I... Can I ask how you met him... If you're not a. ..." her eyes hold mine, and I chuckle at the memory of how we met,

"He knocked me off my ladder" her brow furrows, but she smiles with me as I explain further "I was decorating at Escala, and when he came home he knocked me off my ladder, he caught me and well that was it, we felt it" she shakes her head a little bemused, "Are you still... Into the lifestyle" I ask, the man in the lift with her didn't seem the type, but hey, Christian doesn't have it stamped on his forehead, so is there really a type?

"No I'm not, I have met a lovely man were due to be married, were staying here to decide where or not, to use this place as our wedding venue" her smile widens and her face lights up and relaxes as she talks about her partner, I smile back, I feel her love,

"Does your husband to be, know about all of this?" I ask,

"Yes, but not the who, why or where, He isn't into... We like to play a little... I'm so happy now with him, my past is not important" she states adamantly,

"Will you not miss it? Will your husband to be, be enough for you?" these I think, are my own subconscious fears and worries that I'm expressing and god love her, she gets on to me, I flush as she takes my hand,

"Mr Grey can be very beguiling, he can consume you... But he can be very cold... From what I have seen of him with you, he is consumed by you, he is so different," and she giggles, "I think you're the one wielding the power, not him, you make him happy, that is evident just from his manner. Trust him and yourself, I don't know about your relationship with him, how far you're willing to go... But playing can be fun" I flush as I recall my fruity encounter and she laughs openly, knowing we have been up to some sort of kinky play, "I wouldn't worry, you seem very good for him" she pauses looking sheepish, "This is my third visit to the bathroom, I kept catching glances of you two as I walked past the door, I was hoping to speak to you, Thank you for not being too upset, or causing a scene, most women would" I shake my head,

"As you said, the past isn't important, I know he has issues, I know about his room and the reasons behind it but with me it has never been like that, we haven't even been into it... Yet" we share a giggle, "For our first time, he brought me here, he wanted it to be special, for both of us..." her eyes are bulging and she is laughing openly now,

"What have you done to him?" she asks shaking her head,

"A lot of people have asked me that, his family included" she gasps,

"You have met his family? Wow you are for keeps, I remember one weekend his brother popped by Escala unannounced, he couldn't get me in the service elevator quick enough" her face cloud for a second but it soon passes, "It's been a pleasure to meet you" she offers me her hand, which I take, "I would wish you luck, but I don't think you will need it" she picks up her purse and heads for the door,

"Wait... What's your name?" I call after her, she stops at the door,

"Patricia, my friends call me Trish" she answers with a smile,

"I'm Anastasia but I prefer Ana" she nods, she seems like such a nice woman, how on earth did she become a sub?

"Once again Ana, its been a pleasure to meet you"

"You too Trish, and thank you, good luck with the wedding, this place seems lovely, you will no doubt have a wonderful day"

"Thank you... Good bye Ana" she leaves the bathroom and I stare after her, a smile takes over my face, well that was surreal.

As I walk back into the restaurant, Christian has his back to me, but I can read him well. His shoulders are stooped and his head is lowered, I notice our food is covered, he hasn't even started eating, he feels me approach and stands quickly turning to face me. His face is pale, his eyes are distraught, his body screams stress, never mind his unbuttoned collar and scruffy tie, his hair is a mess,

"Ana... Are you okay?" he asks, taking my hand and reaching to cup my face, I look up at him and cover his hand with mine. I lean into his touch and smile, his whole body relaxes as he pulls me close,

"Can we have this food to go?" I whisper into his chest, he steps back looking at me,

"You want to go back upstairs?" he asks in a hope filled voice, I nod "Your staying?" he whispers his eyes brightening, I nod again, I feel the waiter approach,

"Mr Grey, is everything alright Sir?" he seems very nervous, I wonder if the staff drew straws behind the scenes, to see who would deal with the tyrant that is, Mr Christian Grey, I don't know why they're worried, he's a pussycat really...

"Everything is wonderful, could we have this sent up to our suite please?" without looking he throws a wad of cash on the table and turns us both to the exit.

"Of course Mr Grey, It will be sent right up" his shock is plain to see, I giggle, see told you, pussy cat...

"Thank you" Christian replys and his face hits the floor, I smile over my shoulder at his stunned expression as we leave the restaurant and head for the elevator. Once inside, he's all over me, arms running up and down my back, hands fisting in my hair, he holds me so close I'm finding it hard to breath, I wrap my arms around him holding just as tight, I hear his voice close to my ear,

"You sure you don't want to fly to Vegas?" he asks pushing my hair out the way of my neck, running his nose along my jaw, I quiver with a giggle,

"What is it with you and Vegas? Why are you so eager to lose all your money? Everyone knows the house always wins in Vegas... I would love to see the water fountains though... I love those... And fireworks, you gotta love fireworks..." my voice trails off, I can no longer think straight, my body is running on total instinctual response to his now, and as the doors close, we are once again heading to the safety of our own little bubble.


	25. 25 Solace

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A

As the elevator climbs, so does our urgency for each other, his to seek solace, mine to appease, our hands are all over each other, our kiss is hot and heavy, God I hope this thing has no CCTV. As the elevator stops and the doors slide open, we reluctantly step apart. We are both breathless and aroused, so in need of each other, I can hardly think straight as Christian takes my hand, we head with haste towards our room. As the suite door closes my back hits it, as we are once again caught up with our arousal, Christian's hands run from my head, slowly down my neck and shoulders, down the sides of my body to my hips, sliding his hands down and around, his firm hands pause at the back of my thighs, in one quick movement, he lifts me off my feet.

I wrap my legs around him and feel him growing hard against me, we groan in time as sweet friction is made, our tongues are fighting, our desire for each other dripping out of every pour. I fist my hands into his hair pulling hard, his groan sends his warm breath into my mouth, and I can't help but moan back against his hot sensual tongue. He steps back from the door holding me close, finally heading for the bedroom, I suddenly squeal as I hear a loud knock on the door behind me, I giggle as Christian chuckles. Stepping back further he puts me on my feet kissing me one last time, we step apart putting a safe distance between us.

We are both panting, slightly disheveled, my body is crying out for him and my eyes are hungry. Christian openly laughs, reading every horney signal my body blatantly expresses. I notice his pants swell even more as I lick my lips, his eyes are locked onto every movement of my tongue, I bite my lip, looking into his eyes. I need him, need to feel him, nothing else is important, his eyes close as he silently counts, when his eyes re-open they are hot, hooded, but alive with humor, he shakes his head with a grin,

"That will be our dinner, go get changed into something comfy, I will deal with this" he straightens his hair, closes his suit jacket, as he composes himself he turns towards the door. I head for the bedroom, still dazed, my body a quivering mess, my legs are like jelly. I kick off my heels before I topple, I turn my head as I hear Christian laughing louder behind me,

"See, that's what happens on an empty stomach" he laughs heartily as he opens the door. The stunned waiter from the restaurant, looks between us, eyes bemused, "Please come in" Christian gestures the waiter inside, he hesitates before entering, his jaw still on the floor, what has he never seen him laugh before? Then I remember, ten minutes ago he was a walking advertisement for stress, I have so much to make up for.

I head to the bathroom and quickly slip off my dress, I catch sight of myself in the full length mirror and smile as I take in how I look in the underwear Kate packed for me. It's a fancy set she bought me for my birthday last year, that I have never had cause to wear, it's a black lace set with a scolloped cup and very skimpy scolloped briefs, very nice, it suits my horney mood. I smile as I reach for my robe, no need to slip on my nightgown, I shudder as a delicious image comes to mind, of Christian peeling my new underwear from me later.

As Christian enters the bathroom, dressed in pj bottoms and a T, my eyes widen, wow he changed quickly, my eyes linger feasting on him, his tight toned chest muscles, are rippling through his tight T, his pj bottoms hang lazily from his hips... I burn as I notice the salacious look that takes over his face. I quickly tie up my robe but his eyes are still hot, I wasn't quick enough, being caught up with him momentarily distracted, he got a good eye full. I squirm internally at his obvious reaction to me, Oh we are never going to eat at this rate.

His eyes shine dangerously as he steps towards me, I feel my breath hitch as he reaches me, he runs his hands through my hair, softly taking the nape of my neck with both his hands. His teasingly slow moving thumbs, send goosebumps down my spine, my body bows into his as I eagerly step forward. Our lips lock and once again the heat starts to rise within us, taking his hair I pull myself into him further, his arms wrap around me, the passion builds between us, taking over us, consuming... Controlling... Almost... Christian pulls away breathless, grinning as he shakes his head, damb his self control,

"Wow... Wow Ana... We need to eat" and he sweeps me up into his strong arms and we head out of the room,

Wrapping my arms around Christian's neck, I snuggle in, as he carries me effortlessly through the bedroom, I lift my head and smile up at him as I take in the bedroom, "You're such a softy Mr Grey" my voice is awe filled, my heart melts, he is such a romantic. Christian has had the fire lit, a small low occasional table moved to in front of it, the candles from the dining table are here and lit. The wine has been poured, a fabulous seafood platter and accompanying dishes, have been laid out and wait to be eaten and my stomach rumbles noisily, Christian's deep laugh fills the room. He puts me on my feet, but my entwined fingers keep my arms around his neck, I may be hungry but I have other needs too, so food can wait... May be if I distract him enough... I stand up on tiptoe, trying to kiss him but he stands tall, a silly grin to his face, he knows exactly what I'm trying to do,

"Oh no you don't... You need to eat, no more kissing till we've eaten" he states firmly, I pout playfully as he chuckles, "The quicker we eat the quicker we can get to bed" he drools, I quiver as his deep voice vibrates right through me and I reluctantly let him go. I know I can't win this, so I begrudgingly force my inner bunny back into her warren.

We're lounging on cushions, on the floor at the foot of the bed, basking in the heat and glow of the fire, sipping our wine, tucking into the delicious array of food. I'm leaning back into Christian's solid chest, his arm is draped over my shoulder. His need for solace and closeness is still apparent, as he can't leave me alone, he brushes my hair, hand feeds me, and kisses me frequently and I couldn't feel more content. Then I feel a twinge of guilt, as all his needful expressions and gestures, are brought on by me, by my rash behavior.

I can't believe I was so selfish to leave him in the restaurant, to just run from him, to panic him into thinking that I would ever, could ever, consider leaving him. I feel awful as I think of my actions reversed, if I thought, even for a second that I had lost him, I would break in two. I have to reassure him everything is truly okay, how sorry I am. I sit up slightly and turn into him, so I can see his face fully, his contented eyes lock with mine,

"I am so sorry for my reaction in the restaurant Christian" I place my hand flat on his chest and lean up to kiss him, his hand cups my face, his eyes sadden a touch, a small frown crease's between his eyes,

"I thought I had lost you, finally repulsed you enough to run... I..." He sounds so sad, I quickly reassure him,

"Repulsed... No... shocked yes... Well freaked really but after taking time to think it through, I realized once again, that you love me... That I love you, I trust you Christian" his eyes soften as I turn and kiss his palm, "I know you're so different with me... Nothing like you have ever been with your subs... But you are so fucked up Christian" I sigh with a smile. I notice his small nod and contrite expression as his eyes lower, I lean up and kiss him tenderly, an lift his chin so he is looking at me. His eyes are wary but I feel mine soften further and my heart beat quickens, as I still see traces of panic on his face, he needs more convincing,

"It's your past Christian... The man here with me now isn't fucked up, isn't living in the past, having nightmares or re-enacting his fears... We have a future Christian, I want your future" I state firmly, his arms wrap around me pulling me into his chest, his hand strokes my hair, I feel his heartbeat calming, against my cheek, "With what you went through Christian, I can understand your need for the resemblance, your need... For what you did... So don't hate yourself for it, please... But you really do need to let it all go, you can't drag it around with you forever... I know you have changed so much, I'm overjoyed to be helping you do that but I must ask... This is it now isn't it? No more skeletons? No more dark secrets?... Please tell me I know everything, I don't think I could handle anything more" his arms tighten further, his lips press firmly on my brow, as I feel the weight of my unquestioned worry leave me,

"Oh baby I'm sorry you have to be tainted by all of this but... Yes Ana, you now know, every sordid detail about My Fucked up life, My... Oh Ana... What can I say to convince you, to prove to you, that my heart, mind, and soul, belong to you, I..." his voice is determined, desperate even, I glance up to his eyes are still pained,

With my need to comfort still fueled, I try to reassure him further, why will he just not believe? "Christian, there is no need, I truly do believe that you love me, see only me, want only me" his whole demeanor changes as the truth of my words finally sink in, he cups my face, sweeping this thumb over my cheek,

"I can't understand why you didn't run... Anyone else would..." I nervously chew on my lip, should I tell him about meeting Trish? Yes... We must have no secrets,

"I spoke to Trish in the bathroom" I whisper into his chest, I feel his body stiffen and glance up, his eyes darken as his face is distraught with dread, "What did she..."

"Christian, don't be upset, she... She didn't tell me anything... That she shouldn't have" His face relaxes slightly, "After talking to her, I knew my instincts and feelings about you, where one hundred percent right... She told me not to worry, to trust you, she thinks I'm good for you... I know that with her and all your other subs, you were a completely different man, a man I don't know, a man I have never seen... I want to be with you Christian" his face falls easily into a smile, the sparkle returns to his eyes, I feel the relief flow right through his body as he pulls me closer, his contented sigh a blessing to hear, "She told me to trust you... And I do Christian... I truly do."

"Oh Ana, I'm sorry you had to face that, that you have to deal with all of this shit... She meant nothing to me, I promise... She..." his hand runs through my hair, his voice low, trying to convince,

"Christian it's fine, I know... She seemed really nice... You broke her heart you know" I add trying to bring humor back, I feel him shake his head,

"No I didn't... She was just looking for love in all the wrong places" his voice has an edge of sadness to it, "She was never meant to be a submissive, well not emotionally anyway..." his voice trails off,

"What happened to her?" I ask, I knew she must have troubles, secrets, a past,

"She had a tough time at home as a teenager I think... I was her fourth Dom in less than two years, she got emotionally attached..." his voice drifts off, why do I get the feeling I'm not getting the whole story? But I don't dwell, I liked her, she can keep her secrets, "I didn't recognize the man she was with, he..."

"He isn't her Dom, he is her husband to be, they are staying here considering whether to use the hotel for their wedding... So please don't worry, she meant no harm, talking to her eased me, all your ghosts are banished Christian" I snuggle in with a yawn, the wine, food and heat from the fire, making me feel sleepy,

"May be I should thank her, I could pay for their wedding" he suggests firmly,

"You would do that?" my voice is amazed,

"Of course, it's a small price to pay, for her helping me keep you" God this man is amazing,

"You are such a softy" I murmur into him, my eyelids heavy,

"I wouldn't go that far Ana but I would like to thank her," he chuckles, but I hear the determination in his tone,

"Just call down to the restaurant and pay for their meal"

"Yes... Okay, I can do that" his voice is adamant, he leans and stretches over to his jacket which is on the nearby chair and digs in his pocket for his phone, I snuggle further in, as I slide down from his chest, my head now resting comfortably on his toned belly, I sigh contentedly my eyes closed, I hear Chrsitian speak and smile,

"This is Christian Grey... Good evening to you too... I would like to settle the bill for a couple dining with you this evening... I'm not sure... Patricia Francis and her partner, they are staying at the hotel... A Dr Benson, No that's fine, would you also present them with a bottle of your finest champagne with my compliments and thanks... Yes that's all, thank you" he ends the call, I open one eye and see Christian still messing with his phone, I catch a small smile on his lips,

"What is it?" I ask, as my eyes close,

"Dr Benson... I have heard of him, I'm running him through google, and I was right, he's a top psychologist" he chuckles softly "She will be fine, she is marrying a shrink, they are perfectly suited"

"Just like me and you," I yawn out, as he chuckles,

"Oh Ana, on paper we are total opposites"

"Exactly, who better for a virgin, than a total sex god" I giggle sleepy, feeling the weight of sleep take over, his hand strokes my face softly, and the last thing I hear is Christians soft voice in my ear,

"Oh Ana... I love you..."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx C

As Ana sleeps peacefully in my lap, I let my thought wander over what has happened over the last few hours, I can't believe how this woman surprises me at every turn, how she can make sense of all the depravity. When I finally let my last secret go and told her about my birth Mother and my sick twisted self, I thought for certain that was it, that I had finally lost her. Any normal person would have left that table and never looked back... Only Ana, could live out my worst fear and still return to love me, would still want me, maybe she is just as crazy as I am, or opposites really do attract.

Those fifteen minutes, that I sat alone at that table, in total limbo not knowing anything, where the worst of my life. Above all else, the dread that she wouldn't come back was the most painful thing I have ever had to go through. It tore at me and left me cold, broken feeling more helpless than I ever had before. When she came back I felt whole, complete, saved, my fucked up life hadn't scared her off... In fact it brought her back to me, I shake my head confounded.

I can't believe she spoke to Patricia, Thank God it was her and not one of my many others, they would never have treated Ana kindly, they certainly wouldn't have been happy and never in a million would they have reassured her about me, but Patricia always was different. I suddenly feel a wave of shame and remorse wash over me, thinking about my time with her, I knew she was troubled, right from the start, her fucked up past rivals mine, I only told Ana half the story... For her sake and mine.

Patricia's teenage years had been tough, her Mother died when she was thirteen years old, she was left to look after her abusive alcoholic Father, and three older Brothers, and the apple never, falls far from the tree. For years she was beaten by them all, her background check threw up lots of flags, things I would normally avoid, but I knew her tolerance to pain... Was high, and I used that to my advantage . I feel regret now for my selfishness, and then feel worse as I recall some of our more heavier sessions, I know she enjoyed them... But I think it broke her a little more every time,

Looking back, I see now, that I treated her badly. I recall the last time I ever saw her, it was the day she told me she loved me. I took her into my playroom to enjoy my hardy sub one final time, then I told her to leave. I saw her heartbreak but like all the others, it held no meaning, or interest to me, so I just threw her away, like yesterdays trash, even knowing how fragile she was, I didn't care. I feel like crap now for treating her so badly but I'm glad she is finally happy. But all these new feelings I have for her, have only been brought to my attention because of the sleeping beauty before me.

Looking down at Ana asleep next to me, I smile as my heart swells, she's so beautiful, caught up in the dancing flames of the fire, her body looks alive. Her amazing slender leg is thrown over mine, her butt is bent outwards as her head rests on my lower chest, the curve of her hip through her silk robe has my mind wandering and my body stirring, my hand is drawn to her.

I gently run my fingers over her soft flushed cheek, she feels warm from the fire, she sleeps soundly, her breathing even, her lips slightly parted, she looks beautiful. My fingers reach her neck and I let my fingers lingers, brushing her warm skin, I feel her body shift slightly and her neck arches into my hand. I smile amazed that even in sleep, she is so responsive to my touch, I run my fingers slowly down her back and she pushes herself into me, pushing her soft hair free from her face, I notice her rapid eye movements and she softly starts to mumble in her sleep.

I trail my fingers back up her spine, brushing over her soft silk robe, I feel myself harden as I remember how she looks without it, as I reach her neck, I run my fingers around the top of her robe and push it from her shoulder, it falls fluidly, exposing her lovely presented cleavage. I trace my fingers along the cut of her bra and see and feel her chest rise, she squirms against me and softly starts to murmur my name. I feel my need for her rise, literally and I'm getting more uncomfortable by the second.

I run my fingers down, through her cleavage to her soft belly, she instinctively rolls away from me onto her back and her robe continues to open as my fingers travel further. As I reach the belt of her robe, I take it and pull it open, pushing it free from her body, my hand rests on her hip, and I pause to just drink her in. She looks stunning, my cock twitches as my hand travels up her side, feeling my touch, she arches off the cushions and her arms stretch lazily above her head. I need to touch her, feel her, lose myself in her.

I gently move away, stand quickly and head over to the bedside draw, grabbing what I need, I quickly head back, pulling my clothes off as I go, I roll on the condom, and lay back down beside her. I continue to run my fingers over her beautiful soft skin, I need to touch her, need to please her, need to convince myself she is still mine, I need to make up for all the shit, I have filled her head with.

I lean up onto my elbow and lean into her and plant soft nibbling kisses on her abdomen, I notice her legs start to move involuntarily, and smile against her skin as she responds on cue, I slowly brush my tongue over her soft skin, and her moan is belly deep. I run my tongue slowly along the edge of her skimpy underwear and clearly hear my whispered name, I smile as I push my nose across the mound of her pubic hair. I nuzzle my nose in, breathing deeply and feel her thighs slightly part, I allow my head to fall forward, in-between and start to tease her through her underwear. Her moan is loud and deep and I feel her hands run across my back and reach my head, her fingers fan out running wildly through my hair, who would have known that such an amazing reaction could be had, just from someone touching my hair.

She is slowly waking I realize, as her hands pull harder in my hair, I roll my head in her hands, revelling in her touch. I burrow deeper into her at the same time, but I need to taste her, feel her. I run My hand up and over her thigh and slowly pull her underwear to the side out of the way, my tongue eagerly meets her exposed sweet dripping flesh. Her moan is loud and ferral and I gasp into her as I nearly lose it... Like some teenage boy... God the effect she has on me is overwhelming. I need to kiss her, look into her gorgeous blue eyes, with a final tease goodbye I bring my kisses higher.

As I head up to her gasping mouth I spent time with her heaving chest, her breasts are flushed, firm, and wanting and I groan with pure satisfaction, as I spot the front opening clasp of her bra. Her hands travel slowly down my back and like her, I instinctively bow into her, getting closer. I roll over her as her legs open and I lay my head on her warm heaving chest, her arms wrap around me and I know she is fully awake now, I turn my head and start to kiss her soft swelled breasts and as her hold on me loosens, I rise up onto my elbows.

I reach for the clasp of her bra and groan as her breasts are finally exposed, I take a nipple eagerly in my mouth and suck and tease, until her moans are loud, teasing her other nipple with my thumb and forefinger, I feel her writhe beneath me. Her hands trail my back, her nails softly raking my skin, the shiver that runs through me, causes my cock to throb against her and I hear, her soft gasping giggle. Her hand lingers on my hip undecided, then brazenly runs around under my hip, her fingers gently brush the indent at the tip of my thigh and I feel a quiver run through me, God, one simple touch... Ana giggles as I raise my head to look at her, her eyes are smoldering, devilishly alive.

As I hold her gaze, I feel her hand move from my thigh and slowly continue till her fingers touch my cock, I see her tongue run over her lips and I blink heavily with a moan as she firmly grips me. Her eyes widen as her hand starts to slowly move, in such a confined space her movements are small, but God I feel them... Feel them deep. She shuffles slightly, so she is closer and I lower my lips to hers, I feel her other hand move her underwear, as I had earlier and our kiss intensify further. It's slow, sensual, wet, and I can't help my deep moan into her mouth as she starts to circle the end of my throbbing cock around her hot sweet flesh. She wants me... She needs me... Like I need her, she is taking control and I revel in it, knowing she still wants to be mine, my kiss deepens, becomes more desperate as she slowly pushes me into her. She raises her hips up to take me, as I hold still, this is her claiming me, her hands rake my back and it takes all of me, to hold still, I just want to maul every inch of her.

She slowly moves her hips to move herself up and down, her hands rake my back and once again reach my hair, she mumbles my name against my lips and all restraint is lost. As I lay into her filling her, just that little bit deeper, her moan is long and deep. I slowly start to move, keeping the pace she started, slow and deep, slow and deep, I feel her body start to build. I run my hand up her side and her arm stretches away from me and up over her head, my hand continues up the underside of her arm and our fingers interlock, I shift my weight and our actions are repeated. As I lay over her, her arms are outstretched, her chest arched into mine, total contact... I keep my slow steady rhythm, looking deeply into her eyes, I see she is close as they slightly glaze and hood, I'm holding off as best I can, but I am about to burst.

I kiss her deeply our tongues teasing, pushing just that little bit deeper, I feel her legs move and wrap around me as her insides start to throb, "Come on baby" I whisper against her soft lips, and she virtually explodes, I feel her internal spasms, gripping me tight and I pour myself into her, with a groan of pure awe. Her neck arches parting our lips and I instantly run my nose up to her ear, inhaling as I do, her scent is intoxicating, she hugs me to her tight, I can feel our chests pounding against each other, and for the first time in my life, I truly know how if feels to make love.

Every time with Ana has been special... Something new, but this... This was... It was perfect, I started it, she finished it, totally in sync... Total perfection, "Oh Ana... That was... That was... Oh God I love you" is all I can manage,

"Oh my god Christian... I so needed that" she giggles sheepishly, I laugh kissing her quickly,

"My pleasure baby, though you were pretty good yourself" she squirms beneath me, stretching out the kinks and I feel myself start to harden. I ease out of her kissing her as I do, I roll away from her and quickly pull off the condom, tie it and toss it into the trash. Standing, I notice her wild eyes haven't left me and I smile down at her, she looks amazing, all flushed skin, wild hair, half dressed, I see her flush, as a shiver runs through her, and the bunny still wants to play... Bending down, I pick her up and head for the bed,

"Is it morning already?" she asks, trying to hide a yawn, I place her on the bed, and I jump in beside her and we nestle down, me on my back, Ana sprawls across my chest,

"No baby, sorry... You have only been asleep for about an hour... I just couldn't resist you... You just looked so sexy and the way you squirm and moan in your sleep, was too much to bare... I just had to wake you... I am so sorry," I'm teasing now and well she knows it, as she takes her lip and flushes, rolling onto her side to face me, her eyes are still hungry, her fingers trail my chest,

"That's okay... I forgive you... As long as you promise me one thing... You have to wake me like that... Every hour... On the hour" she giggles loudly, as I roll quickly pinning her beneath me, I brush my lips across her ear as I whisper,

"You got it baby... You got it..."


	26. 26 Out And About

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A

Before my eyes are even open, before I have even one fully conscious thought, I feel a wave of pure happiness wash over me, as the heat from Christian's body seeps into mine. Pulling my arms tighter around him, I look down and place a kiss on the top of his head, I smile as I take in how close he is.

He is lying sprawled across me, head on my chest, arm draped over me, his hand tucked under my side, our legs are knotted together and I don't think I could move, even if I needed to. I move slightly into him and he instinctively pulls me closer to him, softly muttering my name. I feel him from head to toe, the shiver that runs through me has my body tingling, I love him so much.

As I run my fingers through his soft unruly hair, I brush it clear of his brow, my view of his perfectly peaceful face is unobstructed now, he looks so handsome, especially in sleep, his face so totally relaxed, he looks so young. I notice his rapid eye movements, as his lips silently move, I would give anything to know what he is dreaming about. I can't help my giggle, as I suddenly feel his morning erection poke into my hip and now I have a rough idea of what is going through his head.

As my giggle turns into laughter, the noise and vibration in my chest, causes Christian to stir. As I feel the rest of him come to life, I run my lips across his brow, his eyes flicker open and his face breaks into the most satisfied grin. As his glorious gray eyes rise to meet mine, my heart flips, this man is just everything, he makes me so happy, to have him in my life just makes it feel so complete.

Christian pulls himself up to rest on his elbow, he laughs softly as we untangle our legs, he sweeps his hand up my side until he reaches my face, sweeping my hair behind my ear, his hand holds my neck,

"Good morning baby..." he breathes, his voice still rough with sleep, "You should have woken me... What time is it?"

"Good morning to you too... I haven't been awake long" I stretch my arm to the bedside table and grab Christian's phone, "It's nearly 10.30AM" his eyes widen as he chuckles, I lift my eyebrows in question,

"I don't think I have slept this late since... God since college..." he shakes his head, surprise still in his eyes, "I so love what you are doing to me" he says with a smile, oh he's adorable,

"Well, we did have a rather late and wonderfully exhausting night, Mr Grey" I remind him, with a sly smile, I can still feel him hard and ready against my hip, I push into him, chewing on my bottom lip, we are so not letting this go to waste...

"That we did Miss Steele, that we did... I love waking up next to you" he leans in slowly and kisses me softly with a contented sigh, "I love falling asleep with you too" he whispers with repeated kisses, his voice so soft and low it vibrates right through me. I feel my insides start to throb as delicious memories from last night are evoked,

"I love what happens in-between..." I whisper against his lips, I feel his smile as his hand runs through my hair. He deepens our kiss and I start to turn toward him rolling onto my side, as I do, I burst out laughing, as my stomach growls with hunger, he pulls away, eyes widening,

"You need to eat" he states firmly, I lick my lips at the thought of what I would really like for breakfast and continue to move towards him. Throwing my leg over him, my palm against his chest, I push him onto his back and roll over onto him. He rolls willingly, his hungry eyes holding mine, as I straddle him I run my nails down his chest, he moans and I smile salaciously as I see his erection grow bigger in front of me,

"You're so right Christian, I do need to eat... I'm starving" my eyes are glued to his erection. As I shuffle myself down his legs, I take his swollen morning glory in my hands and grip him hard, his body bows and the moan that leaves him has me throbbing, I look up and catch his hooded eye, "Oh Ana..." he whispers, as I slowly lower my mouth onto him...

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx C

As we finish breakfast, I put down my paper, Ana is helping herself to more tea, and nods to the coffee, I shake my head, as she butters another round of toast. I can't help smiling, her appetite is healthy but she has been working out a lot and I shift in my chair, as my body remembers what she was doing to me half an hour ago.

This woman amazes me, after last night, any doubts I had about her leaving me, are well and truly dispersed, the love this woman can carry is astounding. She has shown me love, made me feel loved and I can't honestly ever remember being happier. I feel free, liberated, and more than anything, I feel wanted. She knows absolutely everything about me and here she still sits, she glances up at me smiling brightly,

"What do you want to do today?" I ask her, I want to stay in bed, I owe her for this morning and I have the perfect Thank you...

"Christian, don't you need to go into the office? Or at least catch up on everything, just check in with Taylor, anything could be happening" her brow furrows, she worries too much,

"Ana, I told you I want to be here, if anything was amiss Taylor would be here like a shot, so I know things are fine. My time is yours, it's only been a few days and I'm not ready to leave, I don't want to... Not yet, I need more of this... What we are sharing here, is so new to me, I cherish every second, I don't want this to end... I need a few more days alone with you at least" she smiles and shakes her head, a flush to her cheeks,

"Me too Christian, I'm in no rush to leave here but you can have too much of a good thing and I know what we will be doing all day, if we don't make plans, so... Shall we pop out somewhere today? Just to blow the cobwebs away" she munches on her toast,

"Where would you like to go?" I ask surprised, Going out never occurred to me, as that would involve us getting dressed,

"I don't know? What do you like to do? How do you usually spend your free time?" she asks as she sips her tea, watching me, waiting for my reply. I feel my brow crease as my eyebrows lower, free time, what's that...

"Don't you ever have any spare time?" she asks, sadness in her voice, I shake my head,

"Not really but when I do, I like to fly, or take to the water" but I usually book and make time for those, it's never spontaneous,

"Okay, well... We could walk down to the waterfront, via the pike market... See the boats, have something to eat," she eagerly offers,

"That sounds perfect, go warm up the shower I will be with you in a Sec" she stands, eyes alive bright, I reach for my phone,

"Don't be too long, Mr Grey, or I will have already washed all the best bits" she leans in to kiss me and I pull her into my lap, she giggles as she lands. I pull her into my chest, hugging her tight, I kiss her softly, trying to quench the need I have to be close to her but before it gets too heated and we end up going nowhere, I stand and send her on her way. I count softly to myself as she heads to the bathroom, as my body calms, she leaves the room, and I quickly send a text to Taylor.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx T

As I sit in the kitchen enjoying a late breakfast, I glance through the morning papers, there is nothing of real interest or importance, same old shit, just a different day. I quickly scan the business section for anything Grey related, thankfully apart from the usual brown nosing bull shit, all seems calm, no sharks are circling knowing the boss is... Otherwise engaged. There are a lot of slimy bastards out there, who would use this to their advantage, try to rock the boat while his back is turned but Grey found a good'en, when he found Ros. She has balls even I would be proud of, not many people would take her on, so Grey's back is securely covered at the office.

I can't believe little Ana has held his interest this long and without a toy in sight, he must be having fun, either that or she's dead and he is contemplating where to hide her body. I smile, she is a happy little thing, hopefully she will rub off on him, in more ways than one, he could so do with chilling out. The fact he is still playing hooky in a hotel room, proves he must be happy, calm, totally not himself, or he would definitely be home by now. I'm happy for him, Gails optimism and totally ecstatic vibe, are definitely rubbing off on me, the longer he is away the better things are going, according to Gail and well, she can't be far wrong, he hasn't even checked in, with me or Ros. And Grey is all about the business. He wants and needs to know everything at all times, so she is certainly distracting him, which I suppose can only be a good thing, I just hope for everyones sake, he doesn't... Fuck it up.

"Do you want more bacon?" Gails asks, as I turn the page of the newspaper scanning it quickly,

"Sure baby why not" I answer without looking up,

"More scrambled eggs" she offers,

"Please baby"

"More..." I look up and smile as I notice my plate,

"Gail, why didn't you just ask me if I wanted another entire breakfast, you cooked too much again didn't you?" I tease, as she laughs nodding,

"Sorry, habit I guess, plus I don't know when Mr Grey will be home, I have to be prepared" she sits down opposite me, tucking into her breakfast. We both look up suddenly, as we hear the buzzer from my office, alerting us that someone has just entered the elevator,

"It could be them" I state, rising from my stool, Gails face beams,

"Oh I do hope so" she gushes, walking into my office, I switch on the CCTV screens, Oh fuck... That's all I need. I quickly head back into the kitchen,

"Who is it?" Gail asks hopefully, her face shows concern when she sees my expression, my face is terror filled,

"It's Mia" I tell her with a shudder, Gail laughs,

"She isn't that bad" she stands starting to clear away her dishes,

"Then you can deal with her, I will be in my office... Very busy" grabbing My breakfast, I scarper, as I hear Mia's shrill voice, coming from the opening elevator doors, Shit...

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx M

As the elevator doors slide open, I quickly step out, "Christian" I shout, "Christian" I shout louder, please don't answer, please don't answer, I scream to myself. I head to the kitchen, where I find Gail busy loading the dishwasher,

"He isn't here Miss Grey" Gail smiles, and I shriek happily, her smile widens,

"Please Gail... Tell me it's true, is it really true?" I beg, jumping up and down like a loon,

"Is what true? Miss Grey" Gail teases,

"You know what... Has Christian, my wonderful, lonely, I'm ssooo... In desperate need of love, brother...Really been at the fabulous Fairmount, since Tuesday, with the delectable, wonderful, angel, that is Ana?" If Elliot has lied to me, I will kill him,

Gail nods, her eyes bright and excited, "Yes it's true" she jumps with a laugh, covering her ears, as my screams of joy, echo loudly through the apartment, Yes... Yes... Yes,

"So what have they been doing? Are they okay?" I question, I need some info,

"We haven't seen, or heard from him all week Miss Grey" Gail states slightly disappointed, like me, I think she craves details too, I'm so going to make her day,

"He sent me a photo" I sit my bag on the breakfast bar and start rummaging through it for my phone,

"Oh please may I see it" Gail pleads, finding my phone, I get the photo up and hand it to Gail, she stares at the screen her eyes tear up, as mine did when I first saw it. Christian is almost unrecognizable, he looks so young and carefree, that one snapshot portraying so much,

"Oh he looks so happy... Oh Mia your wonderful... If you hadn't of... He would never have..." Gail runs around the breakfast bar, and pulls me into a hug, I feel happy tears dampen my cheek as I return her hug. She wanted this as much as me, she steps away, dabbing at her eyes with the corner of her apron, looking very embarrassed,

"I know, I know, who would have thought it would turn out so well, I only wanted to brighten this place up, help him relax a bit but he found love, Mom is so happy, we can't wait to see them" I notice Gail frown,

"You can't go over there Miss Grey, Mr Grey has made it very clear... He doesn't wish to be disturbed" her voice is hesitant, carrying warning, I nod,

"I know, I know Gail, he will not answer my calls and the hotel will not put me through, they were told not to interrupt him, no matter who it was, I'm his sister for Gods sake and they told ME, they would forward all my calls to Taylor, so where is Taylor? I need him to get in touch with Christian for me. I have an invite for him and Ana, for a benefit tomorrow night, Mom and the rest of the family can't wait to see him" I hear Gail chuckle, as she reluctantly informs me, Taylor is in his office. Turning on my heel, I head for the man in the know.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx T

I splutter coffee everywhere, as Mia bursts into my office without even knocking, Shit, is there no escaping this woman, I stand up from my desk, grabbing a tissue, I start to mop up my coffee,

"Good morning Taylor" she sings happily,

"Miss Grey, what can I do for you?" I dread to think what she could possibly be doing here, it never ends well,

"Have you heard from Christian or seen him at all this week?" she asks desperately,

"No, I haven't Miss Grey" I state with authority, as I hide my smirk, might of known she'd be here digging for dirt,

"God... Who do you have to kill, to get some gossip around here" she rolls her eyes dramatically, I contain my chuckle, this must be driving her nuts, nosy little thing that she is, "But you can get in touch with him right?" she asks hopefully,

"Only in an emergency, he has ordered no interruptions" especially from you, and no amount of pouting will help, as if reading my mind, she huffs, stamping her foot,

"I need you to speak to him, he and Ana, have to attend a benefit tomorrow night, Mom has been asked to attend as a last minute speaker, the whole family is attending and Christian's support and donation, will make all the difference" she drops her bomb of a bag on my desk and digs deep, why do woman have to carry so much crap around with them? She pulls out an envelope, and hands it over. Shit... Grey won't be happy about this,

"Miss Grey... Mr Grey may not wish to attend, he..." I can't believe I have to bother him with this, Fuck... He will be so pissed,

"It is being held at their hotel Taylor, he can't refuse, if he does, I will bounce upstairs and I will drag them both down stairs myself" Shit... She would too, "So make sure you tell him as soon as possible" she barks, "Of course Miss Grey" Like hell I will,

"Thanks Taylor, you're a star" yeah right, Thank you very much Mia, great start to my day, it's My heads on the chopping block not her's, she can afford to smile.

As the Mia whirlwind leaves and the dust finally settles, Gail places a coffee in front of me on the breakfast bar, holding the dreaded envelope in my hands, I curse the joy, that is Mia Grey,

"I don't know how Grey, is gonna take this interruption" I mumble to Gail, my phone vibrates next to me, as I pick it up, I see its Grey, "Speak of the devil, he's sent a text" I hope nothing has happened, my eyebrows lift as I read his message,

"Is everything alright? Are they both okay?" Gails worried tone makes me smile, she is such a Mother hen, she seems to have two chicks now, god love her. I lean over and kiss her brow,

"They are both fine... He is just requesting security for today... He and Ana are going out and about" Gail smiles, her eyes widen in delight. Well wonders will never cease, Grey doesn't do, wandering about, or spontaneous outings, the girl would appear to be good for him,

"Are you going to?" Gail asks, a mischievous look in her eyes,

"No" I answer dubiously, what's going through her head, I see the cogs are turning, "Grey doesn't want Ana to know, or feel any different, I will send two of the guys from Grey House security, Ana has never met any of them, he only wants to feel safe, no interaction or interference unless absolutely necessary" I notice Gails face, her eyes brighten, she bites her lip, she is so up to something, "Out with it, what is going on in that head of yours?" I ask as she flushes,

"Where are they going?" she asks,

"I have no idea" I answer truthfully,

"The guys you're sending to watch them... Could you ask them to take some photo's" she looks sheepish behind her eagerness but I can't help laughing,

"God woman pictures, you know darn well Grey wouldn't be happy, he would..." I notice Gail straighten as she states,

"If your guys are any good... Mr Grey will never know, will he?" she challenges,

"Oh you're good" I praise, as she giggles, "Okay, a few candid shots, that's all" she shrieks and kisses me, "Just a few, I mean it, if he got on to them, there would be hell to pay and I will blame you" she burst out laughing at my false threat,

"I will take the rap... I promise" she pledges, raising her right hand, she glances down at the dreaded envelope, chewing her lip her now worried eyes rest on mine,

"When are you going to tell him about the benefit?" she mutters,

"As late as possible, five minutes before Mia turns up probably, then run like hell" I joke, Gails eyes worry further, "No Gail, I will tell him first thing in the morning, best not upset him today if they have plans, you'd better sort out his tux and everything else he will need" I stand grab my coffee and head to my office, "I'm gonna sort out the guys, get them over to the Fairmount"

"Don't forget the photo's" Gail shouts after me, I laugh shaking my head, "I won't baby, I won't"

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A

As the suite door flies open, we both fall inside laughing, placing my bags on the floor, I head to a nearby sofa, I flop down onto it, "Do you think we lost them?" I giggle gasping for breath, Christian pulls off his cap tossing it onto a table, he looks windswept, he's caught a little sun, his face is alive with humor,

"If there was actually anyone to lose" he teases, sitting down next to me,

"I'm telling you Christian, that guy on the ferry chucking up his lunch, had a camera and I swear I saw him again, outside the bistro after we had eaten" he looks sheepish,

"I'm sorry Ana, but it comes with the territory, I can't move without the press wanting to know about it, once it gets out about us things will change" his face saddens, he takes hold of my hand,

"How can things change? Why would they even be interested?" I ask, I don't understand why anyone would even care about us,

"Ana, We will probably never be able to spend a day, like we did today, not without a ton of security and a hoard of photographers following us, it's just the way it is, they are hungry bastards always chasing the story, wanting that one photo that will make them the big bucks, they will do and say anything, so you must always be aware of yourself and your surroundings, I'm sorry you have to deal with all of this" his voice and eyes are sad and I push back my anxiety about what is to come, to try and comfort him. I will not let his worries put a dampener, on what has been a wonderful day.

"Then I'm so glad, that we got to have this one special day, I had a wonderful time Christian, I loved spending time with you" I shuffle closer and sit on his lap. Wrapping my arms around his neck, his arm embrace me tightly, he runs his nose up my neck, kissing me just under my ear, the spot he has found that sends my body reeling, I sigh and lean into him,

"Me too baby, you have no idea how special today has been for me, I have never done that before, just wandered around finding things to do, no timetable, no structure, it was such a liberating feeling for me, and I will forever treasure it" his hand cups my face and he leans in and kisses me. I shift on his lap as I feel his body respond underneath me and we both chuckle, "You taste of the sea" he murmurs running his tongue across my lips, I melt in his arms, "Come on, let's take a bath" he stands cradling me close to him, as he strides to the bathroom.

.

As the candles flicker and the scent of jasmine fills the room, I vaguely hear the steady lapping of the water in the bath as it keeps time with the movement of Christians hand's. I'm leaning back into his chest, his hard kisses run up my neck, one lathered hand teases my breasts, the other delves deep under the water. As his fingers torment me, his legs holding mine wide apart, his hands maul me, I grip his thighs as I feel my orgasm is close, "Oh Good God... Christian" I pant, as my head arches back to him, his lips find mine and his tongue invades my mouth, as his fingers pound me harder.

I feel my body build, my legs tense, as Christian applies just the right amount of pressure, to just the right spot. My moans of sheer bliss against his mouth, causes his erection to prod my back and I just want to turn and grind him to the bone but without a condom, I must just lay here and enjoy this sweet selfish pleasure. My groans deepen as my body gives in and I throb against his caressing fingers as he worms my orgasm to fruition,

"Oh baby... I have wanted to do that to you since this morning" Christian's husky voice breaths into my neck, I gasp with a giggle,

"If I had of known that, we would never have gone out" I tease, I'm still slightly breathless as my orgasm still ripples, Christian loosens the grip on my legs and they fall together. I turn into him, his face is awed, his eyes bright and alive, he smiles and kisses me pulling me close,

"On Ana I can't believe how far we have come, how close we have gotten to each other in such a short amount of time, when I think of how we met and your first reaction to me" his eyes pain, then reignite as he brushes my wet hair away from my face, "And now here you are, in my arms, in my bath, in my bed, in my life... I'm so happy with you, I have felt more physically and emotionally with you, in these last few days, than I ever have in my entire life, everything feels different now, lighter, brighter, I feel I can have a life now" he kisses me and shifts me forward, he stands and steps from the bath. He holds out his hand and helps me out, wrapping me in a towel he pulls me close to him, I feel his heart pound under my cheek and wrestle my arms free to hold him tight,

"If today was a taster of what my life could be like with you, I never want to be away from you Ana, never want to lose you, Thank you for being brave and trusting me" his soft lips caress mine, as my heart just turns to mush,

"I wasn't brave Christian, I was drawn to you, made for you, you make me so happy, I trust you completely, I love you" he cups my face, his thumb brushing my lips, I smile up at him as his eyes widen,

"Do you believe in soul mates Ana" he asks shyly,

"I do now" I state, he is mine, my other half, my missing piece. His lips take mine hard. As he swings me up into his arm my towel falls away and he turns and we head for the bedroom. He lays me gently on the bed and lies beside me, pulling me close, I smile with worshiping eyes as his soft voice reaches me,

"You are my soul mate Ana... Forever and always"

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx T

As I sit at my desk catching up on a few things, I hear the elevator alert, glancing at the monitors I'm surprised to see it's the guys from Grey House, standing, I head out of my office towards the elevator. As the doors slide open, I notice the guy's laughter, relief is instant, any probs and they wouldn't be so happy. Phillips and Stone, are good guys, good at their jobs, they should have had no problems today, they step from the elevator and greet me with a nod,

"How did everything go? Any snags?" I ask, eager for their report.

"Everything went find Taylor" they share a look, between them,

"What is it?" I demand, if they are hiding anything, they will not have jobs in the morning,

"Taylor, everything was cool don't worry, it was Grey he... Well, just check out the photo's you requested... Greys the one in the baseball cap, if you don't recognize him, because we certainly didn't, whoever the woman is with him, nail her feet to the floor, the effect she had on him, is... Fuck Taylor, he was laughing, joking, Christ he was even shopping..." I smile, as Stone falters, so they too, have seen the change in him, well fuck me... It's not a fluke.

"Did he spot you?" I notice Phillips snicker, my eyebrows lift, waiting,

"T, Grey wouldn't have noticed anything, he only had eyes for her but she might of spotted Stone on the ferry, he didn't travel to well" he laughs heartily, as I notice Stone, he is still a bit green around the gills, "She doesn't miss anything, so she may have had an inkling" He offers me a memory stick, which I take and they turn back to the elevator,

"Thanks guys, how are things at Grey House?" I ask, as they step into it,

"Sound Taylor, no hitches at all, everything is running smoothly" I nod thankfully, as he doors close.

.

I head for my apartment and find Gail curled up on the sofa, looking through a magazine. She looks up at me as I walk into the room, I wave the memory stick and she frowns, "Your photo's" I explain and her face instantly stretches into a smile, as she leaps off the sofa. Taking her hand I lead her to my office. "Come on"

"Will you sit still" I playfully reprimand the five year old bouncing up and down in the chair next to me, Gail giggles,

"Oh Jason hurry up, how long does it take?" she is so impatient, turning on the computer I load up the photo's and Gail gasps,

The thumbnail pictures instantly tell the story of their day, and as I run them as a slide show, Gail's jaw drops. Well bugger me, Stone was right, if I didn't know this was Grey, I would never have recognized him.

Both dressed in jeans, T's and trainers, Baseball caps and shades, they just look like any other, totally loved up couple. After leaving the hotel, they window shopped their way to the pike market, where they then mooched about, he bought her flowers, she bought him a T shirt by the looks of it. They wander hand in hand, arm in arm, towards the waterfront, never letting anything come between them. They walk the pier, take a round trip on the ferry to Bainbridge island, they stroll through the park and have a meal at a bistro, laughing, joking, feeding each other, every picture tells a story, shows their connection, even I can see it.

I glance at Gail, and lovingly wrap my arm round her shoulder, the tears stream down her face silently, she rests her head on my shoulder, her eyes still fixed to the screen,

"He looks so happy, so relaxed, he can't let her go, even for a second, In every single picture, he is touching her, in one way or another. Oh Jason, he loves her, she loves him... I'm so happy for him" she turns into my chest and hugs me tight, her tears dampening my T shirt, I stroke her hair,

"I think you might be right baby, he hasn't fucked it up, that's for sure" I tease, I hear her laugh, "I will no doubt see for myself tomorrow, when I have to break the news about the benefit, he said not to bother him, at all, now I can understand why"

"He doesn't want the spell to be broken" I hear Gails soft voice whisper, and she is on the money. Both knowing Grey like we do, he must be terrified of this ending, he's completely head over heels and that must surely scare the shit out of him.

He probably hasn't got a clue how to handle this, his protective, controlling over bearing self, must be fretting about the unexpected. Hiding away in a hotel room he can control everything, out and about in the big wide world with other people, is his Achilles heel. He has hidden away for so long, he doesn't know how to face any kind of personal shit. Gail sits up, grabs a tissue from the box on my desk and dries her sodden face, she looks at me her eyes sincere,

"I think it would be good for them to attend tomorrow" she states glancing back at the computer, "He seems so different, I think he will enjoy the evening with Ana beside him, he has always gone to these types of events alone, now he has Ana, she has already met his family, so she won't be worried, I..." she turns to me, her hope filled eyes, finally dry,

"I think you might be right, just get his stuff ready before we go to bed and I will head out first thing" I turn off the computer and clear my desk,

"What about Ana? What will she wear?" Gail asks, as I stand taking her hand, pulling her up into me,

"I will see what Grey want's to do in the morning... He will have enough time tomorrow, to sort something out for her" I lean in and start to nibble on her neck, her arms wrap around my waist,

"I'm so happy for them but this place is so quiet without him" she breathes, snuggling into me, I feel my cock start to swell,

"I like him not being here" I run my hands down Gail's back, cupping her firm behind, with a gasp from her soft lips, I pull her up and her legs wrap around my hips, "When he's not around, it means I can do this" I support Gail's back and lean forward, to lay her gently on my desk, I pull back slightly and reach for the tie on her robe, pulling it open, I run my hand down Gail's body, I feel her quiver and her soft moan,

"Oh Jason Please..."


	27. 27 Pleasant Surprises

THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR REVIEWS, YOUR LOYALTY MEANS A LOT. XX

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx C

I wake to the sound of my phone gently vibrating on the bedside table, as I reach blindly with one arm, my other holds Ana close to me. Opening up my messages, I'm informed Taylor is on his way and will be here in half an hour. Noticing the time is only 8am and not really caring what Taylor has to tell me, I snuggle back into the warm body of the woman I love secure in my arms. Half an hour more won't hurt, I close my eyes and easily drift back off.

My eyes shoot open as I feel Ana sit upright in bed, then I hear a loud knock on the door, at the same time my phone vibrates. Glancing at it, I roll my eyes with a yawn, this had better be important,

"I'll go, it's only Taylor" My voice is still laced with sleep, I roll, then step from the bed and quickly throw on a robe, what part of No Interruptions does he not understand,

"Is everything okay?" Ana asks, she is still half asleep, but her voice sounds worried, I smile and reassure,

"Everything is fine baby, go back to sleep it's only early, I will be back in a bit" she smiles with a nod as I kiss her head, as she lays back down, I chuckle as her eyes instantly close.

As I open the door, A very nervous looking Taylor nods a greeting and steps inside, I notice he is carrying my suit bag and a hold all, I raise my eyes quizzically. Without saying a word, he places the hold all on the floor and hands me a heavy, ornately engraved envelope. I feel the smile take over my face as I recognize the invitation and I notice Taylor's eyes widen, on opening the envelope, I chuckle, "Perfect" I mutter,

"Sir" Taylor inquires, his eyes bemused,

"This is a perfect end, to a perfect week, is everyone attending?" I ask Taylor my voice sounding eager, for some strange reason I actually want to go, Ana being with me probably has a lot to do with it and she does deserve a good night out, especially after our last attempt but still, it would be nice to see the family, especially my Mother,

"Yes Sir, according to Miss Grey, your Mother is a guest speaker. I am sorry to bother you with all of this Sir, I know you didn't want any interruptions" I notice his smirk, and can't help smiling back at him, "But they were too close to deter, what with you both being in the same hotel, I tried to refuse her Sir" and I laugh, poor Taylor, "But in Miss Grey's own words, she informed me to tell you... That if you refuse... She will bounce upstairs and drag you both down herself, Sorry Sir" Taylor apologizes sheepishly, his expert training doesn't cover Mia,

I chuckle, "Mia would too, so it's fine Taylor don't worry, It should be a good evening" he physically relaxes, as my excitement rises,

"Will Miss Steele be attending with you Sir?" he ask's with a smile, I grin back unable to contain it,

"Of course" I state, for ever and a day, she will be by my side,

"Would you like me to acquire her a gown for the evening?" he asks,

I chuckle, as an idea hits me, "No it's fine Taylor, I will sort out something don't worry, I will need you back here tonight though" with at least two hundred guests and God knows how many photographers, we will need protection,

"Of course Sir" his tone is now all business,

"Bring a few more men with you, and check everything out beforehand, including the guest list, can't have any surprises"

"Will do Sir" he nods, even though I know that he has probably already made a start, on security protocol,

"And Taylor, don't bring Phillips or Stone" I add with a smile, Taylor belly laughs,

"Of course not Sir" he hangs my suit bag on a nearby coat hook and turns to leave, then pauses hesitantly, "They mentioned you had a pleasant day Sir", No... I had an amazing day, with an amazing woman,

"That's an understatement Taylor" I notice him nod, he seems slightly embarrassed, then I realize why, "Inform Gail... I had a wonderful time and that we will both be attending tonight and no doubt will have a fabulous evening" that should help Gail sleep, I do truly appreciate her concern,

"Thank you Sir" he laughs and heads for the door,

"I will see you this evening, be back here about 6.30 and Taylor... I will want to see those photo's when I return home" he turns around quickly, his sheepish look soon falls, as he notices my stupidly grinning face,

"Of course Sir" he nods,

"As you leave the hotel, ask reception to book Ana into the Spa for this afternoon, hair, make-up, massage, whatever she needs, text me confirmation" he pulls open the door,

"What about Esclava Sir" he asks without thinking, I shake my head, Good God No, Ana must never even know about that place, I pick up the hold all, take my suit bag from the hook and head for the bedroom, "Could you also order breakfast to be sent up, say, around 11 O,clock... I'm going back to bed" I see Taylors grin as he leaves the suite.

As the door closes behind Taylor, I pick up my phone and text Mia and Elliot asking them for a favor and I can't help my wicked smile, this is pay back, no one harasses my staff, I chuckle heading back into the bedroom. Tiptoeing in, I quietly open the wardrobe door, hang up my tux, pull off my robe and climb back into bed. Ana rolls into me and her warmth ensnares me instantly and I effortlessly, fall back to sleep.

'Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A

"Good morning, sleepy head" Ana sings, as she sweeps open the drapes allowing the late morning sunlight to flood in. She heads over to the bed pushing a laden breakfast trolley, I reluctantly open my eyes. Visions of dancing and laughter, have held me captive for the last hour and I want to wallow in the happy dreams, I now seem to be having, now that all my subconscious ghosts and demons appear to be banished,

"I hope your hungry Mr Grey" Ana asks, as she lifts the lids from our breakfast order, I shuffle to sit upright, as Ana hands me a tray containing my breakfast, my eyebrows raise dumbfounded,

"Are we going to eat in bed?" I ask, she giggles at my expression,

"Why not?" Ana states, as she jumps back into bed next to me and starts tucking into her cereal,

"Why not indeed" I laugh, as I tuck into my omelette, there is a first time for everything. After a few minutes of eating, I mention this evening,

"How do you fancy getting dressed up?" I ask, as Ana leans over the breakfast trolley to take her plate,

"For what?" she asks, now tucking into pancakes,

"There is a charity function happening here in the hotel tonight, I thought we could show our faces"

"If you're sure" she answers surprise in her voice,

"Yes, I think we could have a good evening" I won't mention the family being there, It will hopefully be a nice surprise,

"Okay, but I have nothing to wear here, I would have to nip home, pick up a few things" Oh no you don't, this bubble will stay intact for just a little bit longer, if I have anything to do with it,

"Don't worry about all of that, a dress will arrive in time and I hope you don't mind, but I have booked you into the Hotel Spa for the day, so go, have fun, relax, your hair, make-up, ect, can all be done there, so pamper yourself, just charge everything to the suite. I have a few things to do work wise, so will be occupied for most of the day, after breakfast we will have a quick shower, then I will walk you down"

"Thank you Christian, you have thought of everything" I smile at her wide eyes,

"It's my pleasure, Baby" and it truly is...

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx T

As I step out of the elevator Gail appears out of nowhere "Christ woman... You scared the life out of me" she laughs taking my hand and pulling me into the kitchen,

"Did you speak to him? How was he? Did he..." Gail gushes, she sits me down and heads for the kettle,

"Whoa woman, one question at a time, You do realize you're not actually his Mother don't you?" I tease, she hands me a coffee and leans towards me over the breakfast bar,

"How did he react to the news about the benefit?" she asks eagerly, eyes sparking,

"He was fine, totally fine" Gail's face beams, "He seemed really pleased, said it was a perfect end, to a perfect week, I think you're right Gail, he's happy with her, comfortable, I think he actually wants to spend time with his family, I have to attend tonight" she nods, and I can't help but wined her up, "But you... Are in so much trouble, I wouldn't wanna be in your shoes when he gets home" her face falls and she pales,

"Why?" she whispers, horror stricken, I bite my cheek to stop from laughing,

"He knows about Stone and his camera" I whisper for added effect, she gulps and bites her lip,

"Oh Jason is he really angry with me" her eyes are terrified and I can't do it to her any longer,

"No baby, he was as happy as Larry, even wants to see the pictures" her relief is instant, but then the annoyance kicks in and she playfully slaps me across the back of the head, with a laugh I continue, "Your theory about Ana being good for him is so true, he is so jovial and lazy, he wasn't even dressed and was even going back to bed, she must be fur lined or something" Gail punches me in the shoulder, not so playfully this time,

"Don't Jason" she scolds,

"I'm kidding baby, he gave me a message for you" her eyes widen "He told me to tell you, that he is having a good time, Ana will be attending with him tonight and no doubt they will have a wonderful time" she can't help herself as she squeals and jumps on the spot,

"I knew it, Jason please, please, please take a picture of them for me... Please" she begs, hands in prayer,

"What is it with you and pictures" I shake my head but agree all the same,

"Sure I will, will you be okay here on your own tonight, it could be a late one, I could drop you off at your sisters early" not that I want her to go this weekend, with Grey away it will be as boring as hell,

"No I'm fine, I have decided not to visit this weekend, I want to stay with you" well this is welcome news to me,

"You're scared of missing anything aren't you?" she flushes, but nods with a giggle,

"I will wait up for you" she states adamantly,

"You had better not" I scold, but there isn't a hope in hell, that I will not be put under the spotlight once I get home, and I love her all the more because it.


	28. 28 Preparations

A/N THANK YOU ALL FOR REVIEWING, FOLLOWING AND CHATTING ON FB...  
HUGS TO YOU ALL...XX

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx K

As I park my car and head for the boutique, I roll my eyes, as I see, then hear, Mia animatedly screaming into her phone. She notices me and waves, Oh why did I agree to do this? I wave back and try to think happy thoughts, this girl is wonderful with distraction but one on one, she is a little bit much,

"Oh I have to go, speak soon, love Ya, bye" she yells finishing her call and throwing her phone into her bag, "Oh Hi Kate, it's so good to see you again" she screeches all over the street while pulling me into a hug, "Isn't this wonderful? I'm so excited, I can't wait for tonight"

"I would never have guessed" I grumble to myself, woodenly returning her hug, how on earth could anybody be this happy so early in the day? I knew I should have had more coffee,

"Ana and Christian, who would have thought it could get so serious, so soon" she gushes, linking my arm and pulling me towards the store, I allow myself to be dragged along,

"Yes they do seem to have hit it off" I mumble,

"Hit it off, he loves her Kate, he has been with her constantly since Tuesday, Christian has time for no one, so it must be love, I still can't believe it" Mia enthuse and I nod in agreement. According to Elliot this is so out of character for his brother, so he must have true feelings for her, I do hope so, or I will have a word...

I know Ana and if she has fell for Christian, she would have fallen hard. I'm happy for them both, he seemed very keen at dinner and if everything Elliot says is true, then good luck to them but I would just hate for her to get hurt, especially with this being her first love. I can't wait to speak to her, it has been a long week, Mia's shrill voice breaks my revere,

"This is going to be so much fun" she squeals as we enter the store, I doubt that very much... This girl is crazy.

An hour later and I just want to rip my hair out, I can't believe Elliot talked me into doing this and at Christian's insistance too, I love Ana dearly but she so owes me big time for this.

I glance at Mia heading my way and shake my head, my lips tut as my eyes roll skyward, as she offers up yet another monstrosity for my approval, her shoulders fall and her face creases but she holds up the dress all the same,

"Mia, you have got to be kidding me" I huff, what is this girl thinking? I turn back to the rack of gowns I have chosen, giving them a closer inspection,

"What... It's beautiful" Mia praises undeterred,

"No... It's hideous" I snap, rolling my eyes yet again,

"Ana would love it, she would look lovely in this" she holds the dress up to herself and starts to spin,

"No she wouldn't, it's pink for a start, Ana doesn't do pink or fluffy and Mia, that dress... If you can call it that, is just so wrong" she stops still, her face falls,

"But Kate..." she starts,

"But Kate nothing Mia, I'm beginning to think the only taste you have... Is in your mouth" she pouts and flops down into a nearby chair, I ignore her sulk as I spot the perfect gown,

"Now this is Ana, simple, stylish, elegant" I hold up the dress as Mia's face lights up, she bounces in her chair, then her eyes widen, as a lightbulb goes on, Oh hell... What now?

"I saw the most perfect shoes to go with that" she squeals, springing from her chair she eagerly runs off, what is that girl on? Is she ever still? I dread to think what will she will come back with but to my amazement, she returns with the most perfect shoes and bag, I can't help my genuine smile, maybe there is hope for her yet,

"Oh Mia yes, they're perfect, I think we're done, Ana is suited and booted" Mia squeals as we head for the cash register,

"Good... Let's do lunch..." I cringe as she links my arm, I turn to her to refuse, but then I see her happy little face and I can't... May be it won't be so bad...

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A

As I leave the Spa and head for the elevators, I feel totally relaxed, refreshed and eager for this evening, all of the preening and pruning has certainly got me in the mood. I have been scrubbed, buffed, and moisturized from head to toe, had a manicure and pedicure, my hair has been washed trimmed and styled in soft waves and my makeup is done and will be touched up after dressing and thanks to Inga, the Spa's wonderful masseuse, I have even had an hours sleep as I gave in totally, to her expert hands.

As I enter the suite, I spot Christian at the dining table, drinking coffee, working on his laptop. He turns as he hears me close the door and the smile that hits his face makes my heart melt, God he's wonderful, his sparkling eyes hold mine,

"Did you enjoy your day? Your hair looks nice" he pushes his chair away from the table and opens his arms, I eagerly head over and wrap my arms around his neck as I sit in his lap,

I can't help my amazement, "Only you would even notice and yes, I had a lovely day, it was very relaxing, I feel great, I never realized Spa's could be so enjoyable, I usually flit in and out with Kate, it's never really appealed to linger but today was good" they treated me like royalty if the truth be known and it was so nice to indulge,

"I'm glad you enjoyed yourself, Are you hungry? We will be dining in a couple of hours or so but maybe you should..." I place my finger on his lips to silence him,

"I had something earlier, the Spa provided refreshments, I couldn't leave there sandwiches alone, so I'm good, what about you? Should I call down and order you something?" I go to stand but his arms hold me tight, I gladly settle back into him,

"I ordered coffee and a snack a short while ago, so I'm fine" he states, with a smile,

"Are you still busy?" I ask nodding at his laptop, he smiles shaking his head,

"No... I have done enough to keep Ros happy, things are running smoothly, so I'm all yours" he lowers his head and kisses me swiftly, I raise my lips to him for more but he hesitates, my brow furrows at his obvious reluctance,

"What's the matter?" I ask, why on earth would he not want to kiss me?

"Oh baby, nothing's the matter, I want to kiss the face off you but I don't want to ruin your make-up" giggling with relief and blatant disregard for all the beauticians handy work, I run one hand through his hair,

"Never mind that, the Beautician will be here again later to touch up after I dress, so kiss away Mr Grey" and I pull his head towards me.

Our lips lock and that's it, It's been hours since I've seen him and my body needs to make up for lost time. Our tongues writhe as his hands start to explore, every nerve ending I have comes alive in response to him. I moan against his hot sensual lips and shift back slightly, in order to feel his growing erection against the back of my thigh, he moans and his lips kiss me harder, I break away breathlessly,

"Can't we Just blow this off and go back to bed?" I pant, I have missed him so much, I feel his soft laugh run up my neck, followed by the goose bumps the sensation causes. I arch my neck into him as his fingers run my scalp, Oh Yes, bed is definitely the way to go,

"Are you not tired? We were up half the night" he chuckles in my ear,

"Oh I know Christian... I know" I smile longingly closing my eyes, as I recall how we spent most of last night, It just got better and better after our bath, "But we slept half the day" I bounce back at him, hoping to persuade, he smirks shaking his head with a chuckle,

"Touche baby, but as tempting as that idea is... I really want to take you out" he holds my face in his palms and I look into his eyes, they're excited, eager and so darn un-refusable, I nod and smile as he kisses my nose, "So calm down little bunny... We have plenty of time for that later, and we don't have to stay long, if we really need to escape, we don't have far to run" he runs his hand down my back to my hips to help me off him,

"No we don't" I reluctantly move to stand but not before I push into him one more time with my behind and his moan makes me laugh loudly, "Are you sure I can't tempt you" I try one more time, even biting my lip for added leverage. His response is instant as his eyes hood and his cock swells but his inner strength is so much stronger than mine, he stands still holding my hips,"You always tempt me" he purrs, pulling me to him, our brows rest together, his eyes are closed and I swear to God he is counting. I chuckle to myself as I step away. Showing my willingness to cooperate, I offer him a distraction,

"What will tonight be like?" I ask, heading over to the dining table, I help myself to orange juice, that is on the tray with his discarded coffee things,

"Do you want to go and see the function room?" he asks and his question surprises me,

"Can we?" my eyebrows shoot up,

"Of course" he chuckles "Come on" I place my glass down as he takes my hand leading me out of the suite.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx C

As I push open the doors to the hotels Spanish Ballroom, I usher Ana inside, watching her face I smile as her jaw drops, she turns to me all wide eyed "Christian, it's beautiful" she gasps, I nod in agreement, as her eyes slowly scan the room taking everything in.

It is a fine room for a function, I have been here many times but somehow I think tonight will be different, I sigh heavily and take Ana's hand, unable to contain the stupid grin I have on my face. Leading her in further, we pause at the top of the magnificent sweeping staircase, giving us a perfect overview of the room that is a hive of activity, she smiles as she spots the piano in front of her.

A passing member of staff greets us politely, "Mr Grey, Miss Steele" I nod, as Ana smiles, she looks at me quizzically,

"How does he know who we are?" she whispers, as he is still within earshot, I smile rolling my eyes,

"Ana, we are staying in the best suite the hotel has, it's their business to know" she shakes her head bewildered.

We head down the rounded staircase, to the mezzanine level that houses the piano, Ana's hand trails it, as I notice her eyes turn melancholy, I pull her to my side and kiss her temple, "I will play for you again don't worry" I whisper my promise and her face splits into the most glorious grin. As her arm wraps around my waste, I'm content, the feeling her touch still evokes is mind blowing, the warmth, the connection we have, only gets stronger the more time we spend together and I can't believe, how much I love this woman...

At the top of the stairs, we take in the room fully. The room is rich in its decor, the striking red and gold colouring, heightens the ornate Italian accents, the dark oak wooden floor, partners the heavy oak panelling and they seems to warm the large space. At the moment, it's lit by the large regal crystal chandeliers that hang from the 20 foot ornate ceiling but later, they will be Subdude and candles will eluminate the tables perfectly, large Pallacian windows are hung with heavy drapes that are open and lead on to a large terrace.

The room could easily house four hundred guests but judging by the seating arrangements, tonights function is for half that amount. A large area has been left clear for dancing, I notice the band setting up on the raised stage, people rush about in every direction, I smile at the organized chaos.

Staff are busy laying soon to be occupied tables, crisp white table clothes, drape the large round tables which seat ten, place settings are taking shape, as cutlery is set next to fine china, crystal glasses twinkle, artful flower arrangements take center stage on each and every table. I glance at the head table, which will no doubt be ours and smile as I feel a rush of excitement flow through me, as I think of what this evening will hold.

Many... Many times, I have sat at these functions bored out of my mind, hating every boring, lonely minute... But not tonight, tonight will be different I can feel it. I glance down at the woman who has made that possible for me and I place a long kiss on her head, her grip around me tightens, as her other arm now links me and she leans into my chest. I wrap my arms around her pulling her in tighter, she glances up and smiles, I think she too, is forseeing our night and hopefully it will live up to her expectation... It better had.

Suddenly I notice a small crease to her brow, apprehension clouds her eyes and I feel her tension,

"Ana it's just dinner, dancing, a few speeches, nothing more, this charity is close to my Mother heart and it will benefit financially and publicly, if we attend, for such a small function, it needs all the help it can get, so don't worry, we will have a good evening and we can sneak away anytime you wish" her face smiles then her eyes widen as a thought occurs,

"Are you really that important?" she asks in a hushed tone, I smile with a nod, Ana shakes her head a little amazed I think, she scans the room once again then asks,

"How will this evening raise money, if there is no auction or anything?" her brow furrows as she looks up at me,

"The plate money goes to them" I state mater of fact,

"How much will it cost for dinner?" she asks slowly,

"Two thousand dollars a head" I giggle, at her gasp and dropping jaw,

"God, I better make sure I eat everything then" she mutters dumbfounded whilr shaking her head slowly, I hide my smile, it's a small price to pay, for an evening with her,

"You can also make a private donation" I add, financially this evening would hardly be worth holding, if only the plate money was involved,

"How much will you be donating?" she asks before she thinks, her cheeks flush and I chuckle, I have found I love that flaw in her,

"As my Mother is involved, I will double the end of evening total, that should be sufficient, people will privately donate much more because I'm here" it's true, it never stays private, for some reason people like to divulge how much they give,

"You have that much influence?" she asks wide eyed, I nod once again, she seems shocked, she has no idea of my monetary value,

"Kate was right... Your charitable side, is awe inspiring" she praises,

I can't help my belly laugh, I love the fact she knows so little about me. I notice a few of the nearby staff look over wide eyed, and I can't help my inner chuckle, yes I laugh, I think to myself. I recognize a few of their shocked faces from previous evenings, as they do mine, I suppose my manor and demeanor now, is a bit of a shock to them but Ana is oblivious.

"Ana, a lot of networking and business brown nosing, goes on at events like these and everyone would like to do business with me, so people will try to impress" I notice her frown, as she starts chewing her soft lip,

"Are you sure you want to take me? If it's business shouldn't you..." her voice brakes off as she sees my eyes widen, I quickly turn in her arms to face her, I raise my arm and cup her soft face,

"Ana, I want to show you off... I want the world to know your mine... And they will after tonight" I feel her blush heat my palm and lean to kiss her softly. There is no way on earth, I would attend this evening without her, I need her by my side, to make this bearable, to help me fit it, to bring out the normal, patient, loving man, she believes I am. The man I want to be.

"Come on lets go and get ready, people will be arriving soon" I kiss her one more time, ignoring the gaping faces of the passing staff. As I pull away with a final quick peck, I notice her small nod, her eyes reignite and I feel her excitement, I wrap my arm around her shoulder, she entwines her fingers with mine, kissing her temple I lead up back up the stairs. Tonight is going to be good...


	29. 29 Two Totally Different People

A/N HI EVERYONE, THANK YOU ALL ONCE AGAIN FOR TAKING THE TIME TO READ, AND FOR ALL YOUR GREAT REVIEWS.  
I'M SORRY THIS IS ANOTHER SHORT ONE, BUT WORK IS HECTIC AND WILL BE FOR A WHILE NOW.  
I STARTED THIS (WHAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A SHORT STORY) BACK IN JAN, WHEN WORK WAS SLOW, BUT NOW THINGS HAVE PICKED UP AGAIN AND I WILL WORK CONSTANTLY NOW, RIGHT THROUGH TILL WINTER, AND I HATE IT.  
I HAVE SO MUCH GOING ROUND IN MY HEAD FOR THIS STORY AND CAN'T GET IT OUT TO YOU QUICK ENOUGH.  
I SO WANTED TO GET THIS OUT IN MUCH LONGER CHAPERS.

SO I APPOLOGISE... THAT THE DAY JOB NOW TAKES PRIORITY :(

SHORT AND SWEET... ENJOY ALL THE SAME...XX

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A

As I lay on the bed propped up on my elbows, my chin rests in my cupped hands, I sway my feet from side to side absent mindedly, as I'm totally engrossed with watching Christian dress. As he pulls on his suit jacket, he catches my eye in the mirror and smiles a slow sexy smile, as he knots his bow tie, I just can't help but sigh loudly, God he looks as sexy as hell in a tux. He looks so strong, athletic, powerful, a true CEO but also... So darn hot.

He looks so handsome, any woman would be proud to be seen out with him and he wants to take me, how lucky can one person get. I lick my lips and squirm a little into the bed, I can feel myself getting very turned on just by watching him, I can't help but drool... Oh I want to peel him out of that suit... Slowly.

He catches my eye and laughs, "Will you please stop" he turns to face me, his eyes are bright, "Do you know how hard it is, literally, to watch you like that just squirming about, you are so enticing, I just want to... Oh Thank heavens" a sharp rap on the door makes him sigh with relief, I can't help my giggle, "That will be your dress, I'll go" he turns to leave the bedroom,

"It's about time, I thought I would have to go downstairs dressed only in a bathrobe" I joke, he turns and smiles,

"Stay here, I will be back in a moment" his eyes widen, he looks excited, playful, what has he been up to? It's only a dress. Oh hell... What if I don't like it?... What if it doesn't fit?. I roll onto my back, my thoughts slightly worried now. Did Christian pick out my dress himself? I never thought to ask, serves me right if I look hideous, for not taking more notice.

As Christian comes back into the bedroom, I sit up and glance apprehensively toward him, then scream with delight, as he is followed in by Kate and Jenna the beautician, I jump up from the bed and head for Kate, as Christian lays my dress on the bed along with a shopping bag,

"Oh Kate, it's so good to see you" I grab her in a hug, that she tightly returns, she pulls back with a smile,

"Hi Steele, you ready to be wined and dined?" I nod eagerly and glance at Christian, he is smiling, his eyes are alive. Pulling free from Kate, I head over and throw my arms around his neck, he holds me tight,

"Oh Christian, I love you... Thank you" I gush, as I kiss him. I can't believe he didn't tell me Kate would be here and no doubt everyone else, this makes tonight so much more special, and I feel excitement flow through me, Christian straightens,

"Look I will leave you girl's to it" he glances around smiling, them cups my face, I move my arms to his waist, "I will wait for you downstairs" he rests his brow to mine, then whispers "Don't be too long... Okay" he kisses me, slow and soft, his kiss saying so much, I sigh against his lips and hide a giggle as I hear Jenna gasp, Kate's laughter filled voice, forces us apart,

"Come on Christian, you've had her long enough, let her go, she needs to get ready" Christian nods while holding my eye, with a last quick kiss he begrudgingly steps away, as he turns for the door he beams at Kate,

"Thank you Kate" he says with a nod, his voice full of appreciation,

"You so owe me" Kate says in return, and they both chuckle, I raise one eyebrow in wonder,

As Christian leaves, Kate turns to me, "Well... You look happy" she sneers

"Oh I am" I dreamily reply as Kate pulls out the dressing table chair, she nods towards it,

"Come on sit, let Jenna sort out your hair and make up" I eagerly flop onto the chair. Jenna opens her bag and starts to pull out the things she will need as Kate heads over to the bed, she picks up the dress bag and hangs it from the overhead rail of the four poster bed, she then turns to face me with a smile, which widens, as she slowly pulls down the zip. When it's half way down, she pulls the bag free and I can't help my jaw dropping gasp, Oh my... It's beautiful.

I stand automatically and head for my dress, with my hand outstretched, I gently brush the Chiffon fabric and I'm now very eager to try it on. I have never really been a clothes horse, practical and comfortable, has always suited me but this... This dress is so... Girly... So un me but I love it. The Grecian A-line Chiffon dress, is floor length, is a soft Ivory colour, the fabric is twisted at the base of a low v neck, giving a subtle gathering detail to the bodice, the whole dress just seems to float, the straps are subtly beaded at the shoulder, giving the dress that touch of glam. Never in a million years, would I have ever chosen anything like this for myself but I sigh with delight, knowing the dress is mine.

I turn to Kate, as she pulls from the shopping bag a pair of Diamonte shoes, all heels and straps and I can't help but laugh as I reach for the shoes, I hug them to me, my eyes wide, "Did you choose my dress?" I ask, awe and appreciation filling my voice, I can understand Christians appreciation now, Kate nods,

"With a little help from Mia" she smiles, rolling her eyes, "I'm just so glad I was there, I dread to think what you would be wearing, if she had her way, you would definitely be on E, being ripped apart by the fashion police" I just smile bemused, as if this event would be on a show like that, and that they would even notice me,

"Surely it wouldn't have been that bad" I giggle, I know Mia is a little skittish, but she always looks good,

"Oh believe me... It would have" Kate laughs,

"Well Thank you Kate, it's beautiful" I look over to my dress again and can't wait to get dressed, I hope Christian likes it,

"Oh Ana that dress is divine, you will look lovely" Jenna praises "Now sit" she orders and I obey with a giggle, I had actually forgotten she was here.

Half an hour later, I'm ready, my makeup has been re-done, my eyes are now smoky, natural blush and lip gloss have been added. My hair has been put up, into a loose figure eight chignon, pieces have been left to fall and curled with a curling iron framing my face, I'm now also dressed.

As I stare in the full length mirror, I'm speechless, Kate and Jenna are either side of me just as quiet, both smiling widely, Jenna turns away first and starts to gather her things,

"My work here is done" she sings proudly "You look amazing Ana, have a good night" she heads for the door, I am still looking at Kate and myself in the mirror, I can't get over how different I look,

"Thank you Jenna" I mumble, as I hear the door close,

"You look amazing Ana, you should dress up more often, Christian will be beside himself, he will no doubt want to just bring you back up here, you look... Are you alright?" she asks, her brow furrows at my stunned expression,

"Kate, is that really me...?" I mumble and she bursts out laughing, shaking her head she pulls me into a hug.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx C

As I enter the Spanish ballroom, I scan the sea of people who are drinking, chatting, milling around, the room is set, candles are lit, servers are busy with champagne and ordurves, the whole room feels so different from earlier, especially with the band playing softly in the background.

I feel eyes on me from every direction, ogling, drooling or just trying to attract my attention, I ignore them all, as I seek out who I need. I spot my family situated at the head table and smile, good everyone is here. I genuinely want to see them, to thank them, each and everyone, for the happiness I have basked in for this past amazing... Life changing week.

My Mom and Dad are chatting to each other, Elliot is on his phone and Mia is bouncing about her eyes everywhere. As I descend the grand staircase for the second time today, I catch Mia's eye, instantly wishing I hadn't as she shrieks loudly, alerting everyone at the table of my presence, I roll my eyes with a chuckle. A passing couple, who I vaguely recognize, pause with shocked faces but I pay them no mind.

I notice my Mother smile as Mia heads over, I grin back at her as a blur of blue silk, rushes my way, I open my arms just in time to catch her, as she throws herself into me her arms gripping my waist tightly,

"Oh Christian I am so glad you came, does Ana like her dress? Does she look beautiful? Where is she?" Mia gushes,

"I'm sure she will Mia, I haven't seen her dress yet and she is getting ready with Kate" her brow furrows at Kates name and I bite my lip to hide my laughter, "How did you get on with Kate" I ask innocently, knowing how Kate's no nonsense attitude, would not stand for Mia's bullying ways,

"She shouts a lot" Mia says with a pout as her brow wrinkles and I can't help but belly laugh loudly,

Mia's eyes pop open, as she gasps "You did that on purpose didn't you?" she chastises as realization dawns,

"Serves you right... For picking on Taylor" I tease, and she giggles hugging me tightly,

"Oh Chistian you're so much fun, I'm so happy for you" Mia steps back still holding me, looking eagerly into my eyes, "Christian you love her... Don't you?" she asks seriously. I pull her into me, hugging her into my chest, lifting her off her feet, I childishly spin her round and round, much to her delight as she squeals, I put her back on her feet, I stroke her hair, then cup her face,

"Yes Mia, I love her... Thank you... I owe you so much, I love you for your meddling" I hug her tightly and kiss the top of her head, Mia giggles happily,

"Who are you? And what have you done with my brother?" She asks eyebrows raised, I just beam at her like an idiot, stepping back she excitedly pulls me over to Mom and Dad. They stand to greet me as we approach and it's so good to see them, I shake Dad's outstretched hand powerfully, trying to convey his worth to me,

"Good to see you son" he says, his eyes bemused, a small smirk to his lips, I smile back,

"You too Dad" I say truthfully, I catch Mom's eye and step toward her, she raises her cheek to me but I need to hold her.

All these new emotions, reactions and feelings, I have experienced with Ana, finally feel right with my Mother. I pull her into me tightly, she gasps as her arms circle my waist, I sigh heavily, her comforting embrace feels so good,

"Oh Christian" she mumbles into my chest, I pull away and cup her soft loving face,

"Hi Mom" I kiss her cheek softly and her eyes tear up as she holds me tight,

"Oh son, how are you?" she asks,

"I'm fine Mom" I kiss her brow, my thumb brushes away, a stray happy tear that is rolling silently down her soft cheek,

"Yes I think you are... Where is Ana?" she asks eagerly, glancing over my shoulder,

"She is dressing and spending time with Kate, she will be down shortly, I wanted to spend some time with you all first" I notice my Mom's eyebrows raise, "Once Ana is here... I won't notice anybody else" Mom laughs nodding, as she no doubt recalls the last time she saw us both at dinner,

"Oh Christian, I am so happy for you, she seems lovely"

"She is" I answer with a sigh and a stupid grin to my face, "Thank you Mom... For talking to her... For inviting her for dinner for..." my Mom's eyes widen,

"You're so, so welcome, Christian" she pauses looking up at me, her eyes full of delight, "You seem so different son" her face shows nothing but joyous contentment and she's right, I feel different, even in a familiar setting like this, it all feels new, as I know Ana will be with me soon,

"I am... I think... I think I love her Mom" I whisper, feeling the slight blush heat my cheeks, why I should feel embarrassed telling my Mother I don't know, I want to shout it from the rooftops but I feel myself blush all the same, I hear her contented happy sigh,

"Yes I think you do" my Mom cups my face, nodding slowly, "Come, Come sit down" she turns us toward the table and takes her seat. I look past my family and notice a few shocked and stunned faces quickly turning away, I hide my smile. Such a blatant show of affection on my part is as rare, as an eclipse and I inwardly chuckle, Oh they haven't seen anything yet. Oh come on Ana hurry up, I silently plea.

"Here son" My Dad hands me a glass of champagne, I gratefully take it and take a drink,

As I scan the room I freeze, two tables back I notice Elena, she is talking to Gia. I can't help my sneer as I notice the similarities between the two women, they hold the same posture, have the same mannerisms, both equally strong predatory women. I never fully realized how alike they are, never having seen them together before but I'm a little stunned that I never saw Elena's true nature. Elena catches my eye, she nods and raising her glass, I look away quickly but not before I catch her scowl.

Quickly scanning the table place settings, I'm relieved to see that she is not seated at our table. I can't have her anywhere near Ana, she will not upset her, will not ruin our night in any way. I pull out my phone and text Taylor, he appears out of nowhere in seconds. As he approaches I stand and stride towards him, now out of earshot of our table, I whisper to him urgently,

"Make sure Mrs Lincoln, is seated as far away from us as possible and don't let her get anywhere near Ana" Taylor hears my desperate plea, he stands tall, adamantly determined to save this night from becoming a disaster,

"Will do Sir... She wasn't on the guest list, she must have been a last minute confirmation" I frown as Taylor heads away. My gaze follows him, I see him approach, talk, then bribe the event organizer and sigh with relief, as Elena's seating is moved from directly behind us, to another table on the other side of the room. She won't be happy, she better not make a scene or approach Ana in anyway, if she does it won't be pretty. How Ana would react to her presence is anyones guess, or mine for that matter, so as long as I keep us apart there shouldn't be a problem, Elena knows better than to interfere.

The thought of Ana and Elena in the same room, is enough to stop my heart but the thought of them meeting is soul wrenching, Ana must never be tainted by my past... Ever... Elena must never be able to hurt Ana in any way.

I remember how upset Ana got when I told her about the two of us, she believed I had feeling for her as I was with her for so long, she probably felt jealousy... Until she found out my age, then it changed to disgust.

I could never hurt Ana by allowing them to meet... Maybe we should stay upstairs? Ana could foreign illness... No one but Kate has seen her... Fuck no, I will not be driven out, Ana deserves this, she knows everything and understands... She won't run surely... But being this close to my fucked up past... Oh Fuck, why did she have to be here?.

I head back to the table as Elliot approaches me, his attention helping me to put my worries aside as a feeling of gratitude washes over me, calming me,

"How you doing bro? You been having fun?" he teases, he joke punches me hello, but I surprise him and myself, by pulling him into a hug,

"Thank you Elliot" I say with sincerity, as he hugs me back,

"What for?" he asks, his voice humorous, we step apart,

"Everything... But mostly... For taking Kate home, for giving me the chance with Ana, I owe you big time" he chuckles shaking his head,

"No problem Christian, being with Kate is no hardship believe me, she's great, seems we both touched lucky... Hey bro" he teases with a wink, I nod eagerly "So how have you two been" he asks,

"We're good" I answer with a grin, his smile widens as he shakes his head,

"You look happy... Sex agrees with you" he mocks, I belly laugh "But how much longer are you going to keep Ana hostage here tied to the bed" I flush as my memory is tripped, we so have to do that again. Elliot chuckles, punching me playfully in the arm, as my face gives me away,

"We will definitely stay tonight, maybe tomorrow, I will see what Ana wants to do but let's meet up anyway, say Sunday with the girls, we could take the boat out" I offer eagerly, I want to spend time with him, Elliot eyebrows raise at my proposal,

"Sure" he mutters a little gob smacked, he shakes his head with a laugh "That girl is so good for you... Look I'm going to get a proper drink from the bar before all of this starts, you want one?" he asks putting his champagne on the table, I shake my head,

"No Thanks, I'm going to check in with Taylor, make sure everything is as it should be" he nods,

"Okay, I will be back in a Sec" and Elliot heads off through the crowd of people.

As I turn from the table, I spot Taylor near the bottom of the staircase, obviously positioned for Ana's entrance, scanning the room I recognize a few of his other guys, positioned in key places around the room. I catch Taylor's eye and he straightens up as I head towards him. I'm half way across the room, when I see his face harden as he looks past me, I turn on my heel to see what has worried him and I know who it is before I even turn fully.

Her strong perfume fills my nostrils and I feel a wave of nausea hit me as I turn to face her fully, she places her hand on my arm and I feel a rush of uneasiness flood right through me, as my entire body freezes.

"Christian darling... It's so good to see you" she purrs, I cringe as her voice goes right through me, the bile rises in my throat and I just want to run, one word is my only response.

"Elena".

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A

As Kate finds the mini bar, she pours us both a small glass of wine, turning she hands me my glass, "Elliot and the rest of his family think your wonderful you know"

"Good job you know different" I tease, she smirks shaking her head,

"Seriously Ana, the fact that Christian has been AWOL for the last week, is something of a rarity according to Elliot, Christian has never been this involved before and I know from research and trying to get through to his people over the past year for an interview with him, how busy and untouchable he is, so what on earth did you do to ensnare him? Surely your lasagna wasn't that good" Kate asks with a chuckle,

"I just curled up in a chair and read a book" I tease with a blush,

"Your kidding right? There must be more to it than that... According to Elliot the guy you're spending time with doesn't exist, nothing and no one, has been able to drag him away from his office for years" her eyebrows raise,

"I told you how I felt when I met him, well he felt the same... We just spark... Connect... I can't believe what I feel when I'm with him... I love him Kate" I confess truthfully,

"You've only known him ten days" she states, amusement in her tone,

"Doesn't matter Kate" I shake my head adamantly, "Nothing and no one, could keep me away from him now" I smile with her at my choice of words. I am more important than his office that's for sure, the past week has proved that, I continue but my voice quietens, "The thought of being without him is heartbreaking Kate, the thought of loosing him..." My voice drifts off, as sadness try to take hold and my loyal beautiful friend brings back the joy,

"So come on... Spill Steele... What's he like... You know..." She winks suggestively and my laughter rings out loud, as I sit then flop backwards onto the bed.

"Oh God Kate, he is amazing, So... Oh... We have certainly spent a lot of time in bed... Making up for lost time" I bite my lip and glance at her feeling slightly embarrassed, she just grins widely

"Go little bunny" Kate teases, we both laugh, God this girl is so sharp "So he was worth waiting for then?"

"God yes... And then some" I giggle "But it's not all just sex" I assure her,

"Of course it isn't" Kate teases, I pick up a pillow and toss it at her as she catches it she hugs it and sits next to me, "We went out yesterday, I took him shopping" Kate giggles, "We took a boat trip, he loves the water... We walked through the park, we have talked a lot, we know each other so well Kate... I want to be with him always" Kate smiles, "Well good for you" she takes my hand and squeezes. I move the conversation on "So how are things with you and Elliot?" And now it's her turn to flush, she hugs her pillow tightly an flops next to me, we turn and giggle at each other like two schoolgirls,

"Oh things are wonderful... Not so full on as you two... But he stayed at our place all week" she smiles and I know she has had as much fun as I have, "He used the excuse that he didn't want me to be alone but I'm not complaining" she suddenly tosses her pillow and sits up dragging me with her, pulling me into a tight hug "Thank you so much Ana, for all of this... For being bored and painting our home, for having the guts to go it alone, for meeting Mia... For bringing me Elliot" I gasp amazed. In all the years I have known Kate, she has never gushed so much, especially over a man and I'm so glad she's as happy as I am,

"It is funny how things just fell into place... That one decision changed everything for both of us and so many other people, it's as if it was meant to be" I say as Kate nods in agreement, she lets me go,

"So when are you coming home?" Kate asks, she is probably loving having the place and Elliot all to herself just as I have, going home will be so strange,

"No offense Kate but I'm in no rush, I never want to leave here but we have to sometime... I will see what Christian wants to do, he must need to go to the office sometime... But saying that... If he had his way, we would have spent the last week in Vegas..." My voice falters as I mull over and recall the times Christian suggested it, Kate interrupts my musings,

"Vegas?" Kate asks with a smirk, her eyebrows raise quickly grabbing my attention, "He wanted to take you to Vegas?"

"Yes" I state, puzzled by her response, "He asked me more than once" I recall,

"Why?" she asks slowly,

"I don't know" I answer in the same tone, Kates quizzical look still in place "What...?" I almost shout,

"Oh nothing Ana... Doesn't matter" she states with a giggle. Taking my hand, she pulls me off the bed and drags me towards the door of the suite, "Come on... We need to go, everyone will be waiting... Especially Christian" She winks, as the door closes behind us.

A LINK FOR ANA'S DRESS, IF ON MY FB PAGE... DcOliver FanFiction...


	30. 30 True Realizations

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx C

As I swallow down the bile this woman's proximity induces, I use all the strength I possess to contain and control my raging emotions. I want to scream, shout, drag her from the room... Away from Ana... Away from my family... But all I can do is stare.

I stand frozen to the spot, my body rigid, hands balled into fists, my face is a cold hard mask, my eyes burn with contempt, I bite my tongue holding everything in. Any other response would be disastrous, too many people are around, watching, listening, to give in to my true reaction to her. My family are right behind me and Ana is on her way...

As she stands in front of me with her perfect hair, her over made up face, her tight revealing dress, her over familiar attitude and her cold hard persona... She repulses me... How the fuck could I not see all of this before...?

"Christian darling... How are you?" she sings, as she ignores my icy glare, my mouth waters with the venom I want to throw at her, "I've been trying to reach you... But neither Taylor nor your office would tell me where you were" her tone sounds put out, "Your mother mentioned you were attending tonight, when she came into the salon earlier today, so I decided to attend, thought it was a good opportunity for us to catch up" she leans in to kiss my cheek, I step back instantly out of her reach, "What ever's the matter?" she asks, with a roll of her eyes but dismisses the question before even waiting for my reply, I want to be anywhere else but here, she leans into me whispering,

"Your mother tells me you have a new plaything... Tells me she's very pretty... How ever did you acquire her?" her tone is curious, I freeze as my blood runs cold, I feel the resentment in her voice, see it in her manor,

"No Elena... Ana isn't..." My voice is sharp, full of the blind rage I feel rapidly rising within me. I don't want to even utter Ana's name in her presence, I have to go. I turn to head away but she grabs my arm and I virtually burn under her fingers, I pull away quickly, a low hiss leaves my throat, surprising her and myself. I feel the disgust on my face, she gasps, her eyes are shocked but only for a second, then they fill with amusement. A slow sneer takes over her lips and her eyes harden,

"Oh No... You haven't..?" she chuckles humorlessly "Oh boy... You don't think you love her do you?" she stares at me, her cold hard eyes holding mine, I don't trust myself to say anything for fear of losing control. I don't want her to know anything about Ana and I, "Oh Christian what have I taught you... Love is not for people like us" she steps closer and I instinctively step back, her eyes widen then turn bitter as reality bites, "She could never love you... She will eventually find out who and what you truly are" she spits at me, I shake my head slowly, feeling totally dumbfounded.

Seeing her like this... For the first time, with new found eyes... Ana's words hit me like a freight train. The control and spite in her voice takes me back to the horney youth I once was... The boy she toy'd with. I feel my revulsion rise. I pull my stone gaze from her but her false smile stays in place, I need to leave. I turn silently to walk away, I don't want to be anywhere near this woman,

"Christian, come back here" her tone commands as her voice rises slightly,

I spin quickly back and glare, she visibly shrinks, finally realizing her need to be silent, I march away leaving her staring after me. I can feel her eyes boring into me, I nod to Taylor as I duck into the nearest bathroom. Locking myself in the stall, I sit on the closed seat and rest my head in my hands. What the fuck just happened?

I feel physically shaken, Shit I am physically shaking, My head feels all over the place but one thing is certain... I don't want her anywhere near Ana... Ana can not meet her. I urgently pull out my phone, and send a text to Taylor... KEEP ELENA AWAY FROM ANA...

In all the years I have known Elena, I have never once felt this way towards her, even early on, when she beat me black and blue... I still eagerly went back for more... Still wanted her... Craved her... Would have done anything for her. I let her do anything to me... For years... I protected her... Foolishly believing her lies.

Even up to this point she influences certain decisions... Up until a few months ago, she still helped me to arrange my Submissive's... We dined... We met for lunch... Chatted... Confided... Helped each other out... Did business together... But now... I don't want to be anywhere near her. I see the evil and darkness in her that I saw in myself... And I now know where it came from.

Ana was right... Without even meeting her... She knew... She knew that she was controlling... Manipulative... Had no shame or remorse for Me or my Mother... She is here blatantly and has been for years... I feel... Revulsion... Hatred for her... For what she did to me... What she turned me into... And Shame... Pointed inwardly at myself... For letting her.

Ana has shown me that I am not the Man, Elena thinks I am... Who I thought I was... With Ana... I can be a man without all the pain from my past... That Elana helped me too... No encouraged me... To cling to... By never letting it go... It always controlled me... Not the other way around... Like I so foolishly believed.

Spending this time with Ana, has shown me who I can be... Who I want to be... Ana has also made me realize Elena's true Colours... And I feel sick. I stand quickly, pull up the toilet seat lean over it but thankfully, only dry heave, I feel panic and anxiety hit me, and the only thing I want and need at this moment is Ana. I turn and leave the stall.

Heading to the sink, I run the cold water and splash a handful on my face trying to calm, I can't let Ana see me like this, can't let her know anything is wrong, she can't know that woman is here. I quickly dry my face and hands, check my appearance in the mirror, take a few deep breaths and head out the bathroom.

I see Elena instantly on the other side of the room, her eyes trained on me, I don't catch her eye, I can't be near her, see her again. Ana was right... I need Ana. I glance hopefully towards the staircase and right on cue, Ana and Kate start to descend the stairs.

She looks absolutely breathtakingly, beautiful... And I am proud to know she is mine... She loves me... Despite what Elena might think... She knows everything about My fucked up... Sick... Sordid life... And still she loves me... Without her... I would be nothing... She is My true savior... My true other half... The only person to ever make me feel whole...

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A

As I descend the stairs, my hand in Kates, I squeeze gently as we both smile. I turn and scan the room looking for Chrisitan, I notice out the corner of my eye, Kate wave to Elliot as he heads over, "See you in a bit" Kate whispers releasing my hand and she skips down the stairs to join Elliot. I pause to smile, as I watch them embrace and wander off towards the terrace.

Looking back at the Grand room, I notice Taylor at the bottom of the stairs, he's looking across the room, following his gaze, I spot Christian coming out of a bathroom on the other side of the room, I can't help but appraise him from afar, he looks so striking in his tux, so edible so... Oh No... His face is hard... Angry... Hurt... He looks so broken... So lost... What has happened...?

His eyes look to the stairs and instantly lock with mine, I can physically see the relief flood through him, his eyes soften, his mouth falls slightly open. I falter on the stairs, taking them slowly, trying to read him... To understand. Our eyes stay locked as he storms my way, I notice people move out of his way, like he's Moses parting the red sea, he marches without sight or hesitation across the room towards me.

Before I have even reached the bottom of the stairs, he is in front of me, before I have time to even greet him, his arms are around me and he swings me from the bottom two stairs. As my arms wrap around him, I hear a few gasps and exclamations but can't tare my eyes from Christian. My feet are still off the ground as he kisses me, his kiss is hard, needful, desperate even... Why?... What could possibly have upset him?

He pulls away and trails his eyes over me, a proud smile taking over his face but it doesn't quite reach his eyes, I flush at his scrutiny, "Oh Ana, you look stunning" he says, as he tries so hard to smile. His face still shows the worry he is trying so hard to hide, he rests his brow to mine, "Oh baby... I've missed you" he whispers desperately,

"Christian, It's only been an hour" I giggle, trying to ease him. I hug him close to me, I feel his heart pound against my cheek and my brow furrows as my worry deepens,

"An hour too long" he breathes into my hair, "Dance with me?" he pleads and without even waiting for my confirmation, he turns me and spins me onto the nearby dance floor. He holds me close, my feet still only barely touching the floor, his hold is tight seeking solace in me for something, he needs me close... Needs to know I am still here... Still his... Still real... Why?

As we dance, his body eases, he finally truly smiles, "What's the matter?" I ask, knowing he is finally calm and reassured,

"Nothing" he mutters, spinning me around,

"Christian, I can feel it, the tension that is running through you... You can't hide it from me" my voice is urgent, he sighs quietly into my neck, his feet not slowing,

"It's nothing" I barely hear but I know it's not nothing... His body was rigid... His heart pounded... His demeanor yelled stress, he needs me close, needs to know I won't run... Why... I know everything... We have no more... Oh No... It's her... It has to be...

"She's here isn't she?" I ask softly, as I pull away cupping his face. I feel his feet falter as his eyes fall on the floor, "Your Mothers, so called friend" his lowered eyes lift to look into mine, they are saddened, he looks so scared,

"Yes" he mouths, Oh no here we go again...

"Christian, I'm not going anywhere... Don't worry, she can not come between us" he laughs softly and kisses me just as gently, a flush floods his cheeks, at the realization that I know him so well. I giggle knowing his worry is somewhat eased, his dance picks up again and I feel his jubilation.

As I am joyfully being lead around the dance floor, my smile is in place but my mind is wandering. So she is here... The sick... Evil infiltrator... How she could even show her face?... Poor Christian... I wonder what she said to him to upset him so much?... I daren't ask... Is she watching us now?... I beat down the anger I feel.

"What's her name?" I think out loud,

"Elena Lincoln" Christian mumbles, his voice worried as the topic is brought up again, his feet slow slightly,

"Christian, please don't fret, I won't say anything... But please don't introduce me, also I'd rather not be seated near her" My voice has an edge of urgency, which Christian dosn't miss. I know I can't sit near her, I don't honestly think I could keep up the pretense being so close to her, our dance continues, Christian rests his brow on mine, I feel his words warm my face,

"I am so sorry Ana, she wasn't supposed to be here... I have already had Taylor move her... I will do everything in my power to keep her away from you... She will not upset you" his voice is determined, he kisses me sealing his promise,

"Christian it's fine... Nothing will happen... She has lived a lie so long... She can't cause trouble, not without exposing herself... I would never say anything for reason of hurting you or Grace... So let's forget her... She isn't important... So come on lets have some fun" I square my shoulders and smile brightly to drive my point home. I have been so looking forward to tonight, that evil sick... Oh No... She will not upset our night... Or upset his family... They must never know.

"You look very sexy in a Tux Mr Grey..." I drool to distract and It works as he belly laughs loudly,

"Oh God Ana... I love you" he beams,

"I love you too" I reply, raising my head to accept his urgent kiss.

As the music changes, our dance continues, Christian twirls me round and round the large dance floor, his eyes hold my gaze, how on earth does he know where we are going? I smile at my silly thought, I feel Christian totally relax enough for me to look away from him, to take in my surroundings.

As I sweep the room, I gasp slightly, my cheeks flush instantly, Christian smiles pulling me closer, he has failed to notice all the surrounding guest, as I wish I now had, as all their eyes are trained on us. I notice some are amused, many are envious but a lot are just plain shocked, my flush deepens, when I spot Christian's family also watching our every movement.

"Christian, why is everyone staring at us? We aren't the only ones giving in to the music" I ask in a whisper, as if they could all hear me. He glances around and his grin gets wider, I smile equally as bright, happy in knowing, that he is finally relaxed enough not to mind everyones blatant staring, he rolls his eyes,

"Usually, I am sitting in a corner, on my phone, snapping at anyone who dare approach, so being here like this with you, is a shock to most them" he says with a chuckle, his eyes finally regaining their sparkle,

I shake my head with a smile "God, you really were so sad and lonely, weren't you?" I tease, but feel a twinge as many a true word is spoken in jest,

"Oh Baby... You don't know the half of it" his voice saddens,

"It's a good job, I came along then isn't it?" I brag trying to lighten his mood and mine,

"Oh most definitely baby... I love you" he states passionately,

At that moment, the music ends, we stand still on the dance floor as Christian leans in to kiss me and I can feel the need he has, the closeness he seeks. I pull away before this gets too embarrassing for both of us, as I feel him swell against my belly. Something catches his eye over my shoulder and his face sets, he curses softly to himself, as he rests his brow to mine. He saw her... She has been watching us... I can't help my inward gloat but protection is the key,

"We can go back upstairs if you're too worried" I offer quietly, I know he is calm at present but if it riles him just seeing her, what would he do if she approached us? I don't want him to lose it,

"Never Ana... I want to spend this evening with you and my family, I have Taylor and his men about the place, assuring she will keep her distance from us, so let's enjoy our night. my fucked up past will not ruin this for us, will not interfere in anyway, she will not come near you I promise so... Please stay" he almost begs, as I feel my heart twist,

"Of course I will stay Christian... It hasn't even entered my head to leave here... To leave you... I want this night too, I trust you to keep us safe" my tone convinces and his relief is instant, it's seeping from his every pore, his eyes sparkle, his smile becomes a grin.

Stepping away, he takes my hand leans in and kisses me swiftly once more, "Come on... Let's take our seats, say hello to everyone, everyone is very eager to see you again... Mia especially" he chuckles rolling his eyes, and I sigh, a happy contented sigh, knowing he's back, my wonderful, self doubting, totally loveable and insecure, no longer fucked up man. I skip along eagerly beside him as he leads me over to the table, that is occupied by his expectant family.

A/N THANK YOU FOR READING...


	31. 31 Fitting Right In

HELLO TO ALL THE NEW REVIEWERS, AS I SAY CONSTANTLY, YOUR SUPPORT MAKES THIS ALL THE MORE WORTH WHILE.  
TO KNOW YOU ALL LIKE THIS STORY, IS A REAL EGO BOOST AND ENCURAGES ME TO HIDE AWAY WITH MY LAPTOP ;)  
SO HUGS AND THANKS TO YOU ALL...

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A

As Christian leads me to his family's table, that is situated at the head of the room, a sea of people smile and attempt to greet us. I smile when I can but Christian only acknowledges certain people, rarely stopping to shake offered hands. He seems happy enough though, so I know that we aren't in the vicinity, of the evil, sick, bondage queen.

As we near the head table, his family all stand to greet us, the other diners hold their places but smile a warm welcome. I beam at everyone, unable to stop myself, it's so nice to see everyone, there is such a happy atmosphere hanging over everyone and I think seeing Christian so happy, is the cause for it and it's very contagious.

Mia is the first to reach me, her arms pull me into her as she hugs me tight "Oh Ana" she squeals in my ear, "I love, love, love you, for making Christian so happy" I smile returning her grin, I catch Christian rolling his eyes but his face is beaming, "It's just perfect that you love him too" I hear Mia's hushed voice in My ear,

"It's not a problem Mia, your brother, is so very easy to love" I hold Christian's eye and wink and he melts, realizing finally, that nothing can touch us,

Mia pulls away from me but still holds my hands, she looks me up and down, her smile wide and appreciative "Oh Ana you look absolutely amazing, Kate was right... That dress looks perfect on you... Do you like your shoes? I picked those" she asks eagerly with a bounce, I smile nodding,

"Yes Mia, they're beautiful, Thank you" she pulls me in close and hugs me one more time.

As she steps away Grace is eager to take her place, "Hello darling girl" she whispers into my ear, as she hugs me tightly,

"Hello Grace" I reply, as we pull apart, she kisses my cheek flushing slightly, I feel myself heat also and we both chuckle,

"It's so good to see you both" she says, looking between us, I know she would like to say more and her eyes brighten, as she gets her opportunity when Christian turns and steps away, to grab two glasses from a passing server. Quickly Grace softly cups my face, "Thank you Ana, for saving him... For helping him... For showing him..." her voice breaks, her eyes water,

I feel a lump in my throat as I swallow, "No... Thank you Grace" I implore with hidden meaning, her eyes widen slightly, then she hugs me once again, tears springing into both our eyes. Carrick intervenes with a chuckle,

"Hello again Ana, we are all so glad you could both join us, handy you're in the same hotel" he raises his eyebrows with a smirk and I flush nodding, Grace steps away and hugs her husband's waist,

"Yes Carrick, it's very handy, I won't have far to wobble to bed in these heels" I joke, he laughs and kisses my cheek quickly.

Over his shoulder I notice Elliot and Kate approach, I'm not sure where they have been for the last ten minutes but judging by Kates lack of lip gloss and slightly messed up hair, I'd say they have been sharing a private hello. As Carrick steps back, I glance fully at Kate, taking her all in, I giggle as she winks at me. As Elliot holds out the chair opposite me, she takes it gratefully, she appears slightly jelly legged, I smile as Elliot bellows,

"How you doing Ana?" he winks and smirks at Christian, who is now behind me, with blatant innuendo, as I turn towards Christian he hands me a glass of champagne with a grin,

"I'm fine Elliot, Thank you" I blush,

As Christian pulls out my chair between him and grace, I sit quickly, eager to be off my feet, new shoes and dancing don't really go hand in hand. As Christian takes his seat next to me, his arm drapes my chair, his fingers trail my neck and shoulder, his eyes scan the room ever watchful. Turning towards him, I place my palm softly onto his chest rubbing gently, without so much as a flinch he looks down at me,

"Christian, it's fine, don't worry, she can't hurt us" I whisper, I notice the worry leave his eyes as he kisses my brow and he brings his attention back to the table. I see Grace and Mia share an astonished look, no doubt as a result, of my freely touching Christian but I'm distracted, as I notice Taylor discreetly sweeping past us. Our eyes lock for just a second, unspoken words pass between us, as we both minutely nod.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx C

As the chatter bounces freely around the table, I smile widely unable to keep the joy from my face, I catch my Mothers eye often and feel overwhelmed as her expression mirrors mine. She knows and understands how much tonight has meant to me, It is written all over my face, I don't think I could hide my permanent smile, even if my life depended on it.

As we all tuck into a splendid dinner, I feel totally relaxed, totally content and for the first time, all of this feels comfortable, not forced or begrudged. It feels so good to be enjoying my family's company, for the conversation to flow fluidly, with no threat of anything unexpected.

As dinner comes to an end and our table is cleared of the last remnants of crockery, the speaker for the evening calls for our attention, I pay no heed, to his Ramblings, his gratitude, his humor, I only have eyes for Ana. Having her next to me, has my heart fit to burst, such a strange feeling, as I never thought I had one, I inwardly chuckle at how wrong a person could be.

This woman sitting here next to me, hanging off every word the speaker utters, I realize is amazing, I notice her eyes tear up as the speaker informs everyone the purpose of tonight, what the money is being raised for, who it will benefit. Ana turns to me with sad eyes, I smile shaking my head, she is so compassionate. I vaguely hear a ripple of applause, as my Mother rises from her seat and leaves the table, I pull my eyes away from Ana and take in my Mother standing proud on the podium, instantly controlling the room. I feel proud, so proud of her, I reach forward and pull Ana towards me, she eagerly leans back into my chest, my arms wrap around her, her arms circle mine as she snuggles down into me, as we both take in My Mother on the stage.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Gr

As I give my speech the words automatically leave me, it doesn't really matter, what I say to these people, how much I try to woo them for their support, it's not needed, as I know that there is one man in this room, that will honor what we are trying to do here tonight. My beloved son Christian will no doubt make sure, that the new children's wing at the local hospital will happen, no matter what is costs, it wouldn't matter to him and I love him so much for it.

As I hold Christians gaze, my lips move of their own accord, all I can focus on, is how my son now looks, how carefree he is, how he has been acting. I see the awe in his eyes, the love flowing freely from him towards others and the person wrapped tightly in his arms, is solely to thank for that.

I glance to Ana, who is smiling up at Christian, her face loved filled. She is drawing all the goodness from Christian, that I always knew he possessed, you can almost see it bouncing between them, the connection they have. They have only known each other for such a short time, but it's strong... Very strong.

As I finish speaking to a round of applause, I leave the podium and head back to our table, as I near, Christian and Ana are the first to stand. Christian hugs me tightly as Ana leans in freely kissing my cheek, Mia squeezes me and Elliot winks. Carrick pulls me into his warm embrace as I finally reach my seat,

"You okay? My love" he whispers, cupping my face, reading me so well,

"Yes" I manage to croak, while desperately fighting back the tears, that so could easily fall, "Oh Carrick... From afar... Watching the table, I saw it... I saw him... Christian is now the happy man... We have so tried to find in him... He is here right now with us proudly" my voice finally breaks as Carrick sweeps away a stray tear, "We have so much to Thank Ana for... I knew when she joined us for dinner, that Christian had feelings for her... But this is..." I glance at the two of them lost in each other and sigh heavily "This is beyond anything I could have ever wished for, he is truly in love with her and so, so happy" I throw my arms around my husbands neck and snuggle in closer, he strokes my head softly, I feel his chest vibrate, with a chuckle,

"I know My love... It's clear for anyone to see, he is a changed man" Carrick's bemused tone makes me smile, "And who would have thought Mia's interference could benefit so well"

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx K

After re-applying my lip gloss and sorting out my hair, I cringe at the memory, Why? Oh Why? Did no one tell me, I looked half shagged? I giggle inwardly, as I leave the restroom and head back to our table. As I cross the room, I notice a lot of eyes on the dance floor, glancing over I stop, an laugh softly out loud, "Oh God those two" I mutter, shaking my head,

Christian has Ana once again on the dance floor, oblivious to anybody else, they may as well be here alone. They are locked in each others arms twirling round and round, I can't help but smile proudly, they look so God darn good together. As I take in the watching crowd, every face is amazed and smiling... All except one.

I stare curiously, at an older woman sitting alone at a table, she is nursing, what doesn't look like her first, double shot of hard liquor. As I walk past her table, she stands and steps in my way, just staring at me, I stand tall and raise my eyebrows,

"Move you lush" I mutter, her cold hard eyes hold mine,

"Who's your friend?" she snaps bitterly, ignoring my jibe,

"Excuse me" I reply, my tone sarcastic, my eyes wide,

"Your friend, the one pawing Christian" her eyes flicker to the dance floor and I see that her bitterness intensifies, I chuckle just as bitterly,

"Well by the look on your face... I'd say she was your competition" she huffs, rolling her eyes, "Don't you think you're a little old... To be drooling over someone, less than half your age" her demeanor hardens. As she composes herself, she glares at Ana, I lean into her, protectively whispering with a sneer,

"You won't win you know... Ana is good... Through and through... And I can see that you... Are bad to the bone" I look her up and down slowly, a sneer to my face. I hear her gasp as I turn away and head back towards Elliot.

Elliot stands as I approach and helps me into my seat next to him, I lean my back into him, his arms circle me, as we watch the room. Most of his family are on the dance floor, I notice the older woman, knock back her drink, grab another from a server and sit back down, not once taking her bitter eyes from Christian and Ana,

"Ell, Do you know who the old soak is, the one in the black Valentino?" I nod towards the other table, as Elliot laughs loudly,

"Don't ever let her hear you, calling her that" he laughs "That's Elena, Mom's friend for like forever, why?"

"Something just doesn't feel right with her, she can't take her eyes of Ana or Christian" he hugs me tighter, nuzzling my neck,

"She is probably just as amazed seeing Christian like this, as the rest of us" he chuckles "Don't worry about Elena, her and Christian have always been close, she has always had a good effect on him, especially when he was a teen, she kept him busy out of trouble, I'm sure Ana will meet her soon enough, can I get you another drink?" he asks pulling away attracting a server,

"A white wine would be lovely, Thank you" I reply, but my eyes are still firmly fixed to the woman in black. There is definitely something off with her, the way she is staring at them both gives me a real uneasy feeling, there is more than shock on her face.

As the music ends, a giggling Ana drags Christian back to the table. As she passes me I stand and grab her into a hug, I whisper into her ear, "Ana, watch the cougar in the black Valentino gown to your left, she has eyes for your man, she asked me about you"

I feel Ana stiffen slightly before completely stepping away, she slowly glances to her left, the woman sits in profile, glaring ahead of her, I hear Ana tut. I catch her eye, and raise my eyebrows in question but Ana just she shakes her head, her eyes wide in warning.

I step away with a smile, keeping quiet for now but there is certainly more to this than meets the eye but now is obviously, not the time or the place to talk about it. As Ana leaves me and takes her place next to Christian, I notice for the first time, Taylor sits at the table between her and us, and have confirmation that there is definitely something going on. I'm sure Ana will tell me when she is ready, or ask, if she needs my help.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx C

As I sit comfortably with Ana enjoying My wine, Mia appears out of nowhere "Dad will you dance with me? There is no point in asking the boys" she whines with a roll of her eyes, I smile as Dad gives into her pouting but not before teasing her, "But what about your Mother? We can't leave her out"

"Christian can dance with Mom, give Ana a break" Mia giggles,

I instantly go to refuse, even though I see the delight on my Mothers face. It has been a long time, since I have danced with her and as much as I would like to, I am not leaving Ana alone for a moment. Tonight has gone perfectly, I will not risk anything at this late hour.

My eyes shoot up as Ana stands, I follow suit quickly "Please Christian, dance with your Mother, I need to visit the restroom, so go please" she reassures convincingly, her palm caressing my pounding chest, she undoubtedly understands my reasons for my reluctance.

My Mother eagerly stands, as Mia squeals, dragging Dad towards the dance floor. I kiss Ana's brow before she heads off, I notice Taylor and we share a look, as he heads after her. Taking my Mothers hand, I lead her onto the dance floor.

As my Mother twirls happily in my arms, I truly feel her joy, she holds me close for the first time and I can feel how she is revelling in the contact that I can now allow her to have, it feels so good for both of us,

"It's been a wonderful evening Christian, Thank you so much for coming and for your support, we have reached our goal easily Thanks to you" she proudly smiles up at me,

"It's been a pleasure Mother, truly" I reply kissing her brow,

"I'm so glad your happy Christian" she whispers,

"Me too Mom" I whisper back,

"She loves you... Just as much as you love her you know" she looks up at me with wide eyes, she hugs into me as our dance continues.

I suddenly hear my Mothers soft chuckle "Oh finally, Ana will get to meet Elena, I was wondering where she has been hiding herself all evening, I was beginning to think she didn't make it" my mother innocently worries, while humming softly into my chest.

I have to fight the strong urge to scream, freeze, then run, as that would only alert my Mother but I can't stop my eyes from widening in sheer horror.

I see Ana stood on her own, watching us smiling brightly, totally oblivious to what is coming, I hold her eye trying to portray my desperate warning, as I see Elena appear at her side.

Elena leans into Ana whispering something, I watch heartbroken as Ana's eyes widen and her smile disappears as she understands who the woman is, my heart pounds as I see Ana slowly turn to face her.

As I watch utterly devastated, I see Taylor and his men protectively circling Ana, they can't approach without causing a scene and I can't move, this is my ultimate nightmare and there isn't a thing I can do about it.

My heart sinks, as my Mother happily sings.


	32. 32 Throwing Out The Trash

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A

Even if... I wasn't watching in slow motion, Christian's face crumble, like his whole world has fallen apart...

Even if... I hadn't of noticed Taylor and the Two other guys, wearing wire's, move in closer to me...

Even if... I hadn't of been forewarned by Kate...

Even if... I hadn't gotten a glimpse of what she looked like...

I would... As I do... Know who she is... Instantly...

Even before I hear her slightly slurred whisper, I can feel her. The cold presence she omits, screams at me, it is almost palatable, I quickly swallow down, the contempt and anger I feel, as I slowly turn to face her.

My eyes widen in surprise, at how ordinary she looks. I mean she is beautiful, in a well preserved kind of way, has a very good figure for a woman her age, obviously takes great care of herself...But I thought there would be something to alert me of her true sick nature, something that maybe Grace, could have taken as a warning... But no... Nothing.

Well not until you look into her eyes that is, that is when you truly see the cold hard, predatory, empty woman, that she no doubt is, I almost feel a twinge of pity for her... But only almost,

Before I attempt to converse with this woman, I glance up at Christian, my heart pounds, his face is so torn. As his eyes silently plead, he holds Taylor's worried gaze, unspoken words bouncing between them, he must feel so broken right now. Taylor turns and walks urgently toward me, he is about 15ft away, when I catch and hold his eye. Squaring my shoulders, I shake my head, he stops still, raising his eyebrows, then relaxes giving me a slight nod, he steps back, understanding that I, and I alone need to deal with this.

As I finally lower my eyes to the woman in front of me, I force a wide fake smile to my face. I notice Grace and Christian are glancing over, whenever there dance allows them to, so protection and pretense is the order for this.

"So your Christian's latest sub" she sneers, drink fumes hitting my face, I huff at her directness. So... There is definitely going to be no pussyfooting around with pleasantries then... Fine... If she wants to play it that way... That's fine with me.

"No not at all, I'm his soul mate" I state proudly, as her eyes widen with amusement "His words not mine" I add, with my fake smile still firmly in place, she laughs a hollow laugh that doesn't in anyway, reach her cold, angry eyes,

"Christian doesn't have a soul" she sneers "He sold his a long time ago, dear" she turns her gaze to the dance floor, her face blazing. It pains me to even see her look at him, I clench my fists at my sides, oh if we were not, in a room full of people...

"Don't you mean when you took it?" I snap, she turns quickly to face me. Now standing in front of me, her back is turned towards Christian and Grace, my smile is still firmly intact. I notice Christian glance over, worry etched deep into his eyes, Grace is still thankfully oblivious, snuggled into his chest. I notice Taylor out the corner of my eye, he takes a step closer, but holds his ground.

Her face fumes, as her eyes burn into me, my smiling face obviously rileing her to distraction. Behind my fake smile, my voice carries the true hatred I feel for this woman "What do you see when you look at him?" I ask, she slowly turns and glances over her shoulder. I notice her lips part, as she trails her tongue over her full lips, her pupils dilate and her fingers start to twitch. As she shifts her weight, her eyes turn more than lustful and I feel my vengeance rise, God if this room wasn't full of people, I would happily rip her face off, the sick bitch. Controlling my temper, I lean towards her, my voice close to her ear,

"I thought so... All you see is a sex toy, someone for you to control... Someone to amuse you... I see a loving evolving man, who I want for who he is and not just for what he can do to my body" she huffs, but still has her eyes on Christian. I hate to think what is going through her head, I don't want to linger on the thoughts of what they have done together, how she controlled him, hurt him, used him.

I shake my head clear, "I know who you are... What you did to him..." My tone spits into her ear, she spins once again to face me, "Did he outlive his use, did he got too old for you?" I utter through clenched teeth, her face hardens adamantly, she stands tall holding her ground,

"I did nothing to him... Nothing that he didn't want" she states squarely, I gasp a little at her audacity. She truly believes she did nothing wrong, I look her up and down, total contempt taking over my face for a second, I quickly pull in my emotions,

"Are you still abusing, vulnerable young boys" I ask slowly, her face continues to hold her sneer,

"You don't know what you're taking about, Christian wanted it... Needed it... I made him the Man he is" she almost sounds proud and I can't help but sneer back,

"The Man he is, and what Man is that? The Man so desperate, so alone, so unsure of himself, The Man unable to commit or let go emotionally... You never made him, you destroyed him" I almost growl,

"You know nothing" she says dismissively, wafting her hand,

"I know he is full of the traits you expect to find, in someone who was abused as a child" her eyes widen in offense to my choice of words. My anger builds at the nerve of the woman, "Don't you dare look like that" I snap "That's what you did, you molested and beat up on a fifteen year old boy, however you try to dress it up or justify it... You're a pedophile, a sick..." her Dominant tone cuts off my rant, which only riles me more,

"Now just a minute little girl..."

"Don't you little girl Me, you sick disgusting old woman" I hiss at her "Your evil through and through, I can feel it ripping off you in waves, how you could even be here?... With all these people, helping to raise money for children... When all the time your preying on them..." her face is stunned, as my rant progresses, all my willpower is used to keep my face light and my voice low,

"How you could even have the gall to face Grace?... People like you sicken me... How you can look Grace in the eye? After what you have done to her, you abused her trust... You abused her son... You're sick... You have no shame... No remorse for what you did to Christian... No feelings what so ever for Grace" I hold up short, as I notice a flush hit her cheeks, so she is worried about Grace, I recover quickly,

"For all these years, you have pretended to be her friend, listened to her, comforted her... And all the while, using her trust against her, using it to help you abuse her son, making him even more closed off and isolated from Grace, helping him put up more barriers, between him and his family... But that's the way you wanted it isn't it?... Have your victim totally relying on you, totally blinded by your control... Making him feel so bad about himself, that he closed off completely" I can't keep calm for much longer, I want to rag her everywhere. She attempts to stand a little taller, to say something but I don't give her the chance,

"You need to leave" I state firmly, her brow rises "You need to stay away... You need to break off your friendship with Grace" a smirk curls her lip, "Or tell her the truth... Your choice" I whisper with a genuine smile, her face falls, her eyes widen in horror "I thought not" I huff "You also need to end all your dealings with Christian... Stay away from him and us"

"Why should I listen to you? Who are you?" she drawls looking me up and down "I have known Christian since he was a child, he was mine... Long before he met you, and he will be mine... For much longer after you" she stands firm her voice controlling, stating her claim, "Christian and I have a bond... A connection... What can you possibly do to come between us... Nothing... I" she's had her say, and I have heard enough. I step forward and surprising myself, I raise my hand and push a stray lock of her hair, behind her ear, I smirk, as she flinches but my words scare her more,

"I will make you regret every laying a filthy paw on him... Ever going near him... For ever hurting him" my sweet smile is starting to slip,

"How?" she hisses "You are nothing... Just some silly girl who has beguiled him... He will see through you, just like he has with all the others... Do you think you're the first one to love him?... He has had so many partners, more suited to his needs than you" she laughs bitterly, as she looks me up and down, "What makes you think... That you... Are so different?" her voice reeks with contempt for me but I so easily shoot her down,

"I know I'm different" I state with a true confident smile, she cocks an eyebrow to match her smirk. Oh I want to slap that smirk right off her face, taking a deep breath, I compose myself and continue "Let me ask you something" I step forward, holding her eye, my hand lifts and I stroke her hair, God only knows why... "In all the time you were abusing him mentally and physically... Did he ever let you in? Did you stop his nightmares? Were you able to touch him?" I almost lose my composure, as her pupils dilate at her thoughts. Yes, she touched him alright, but not in the ways that I can, "Could you touch him... Freely?" I clarify "Could any of his subs?" her bravado is slipping, as my words sink in, she has been watching us all night, so she knows I'm speaking the truth, her brow furrows and I can't stop my smile,

"Did they get to touch him anywhere...? Hold him while he sleeps... Did they get to bathe with him...? Lye sedate in his arms talking all night... Did you?" I ask, as her face freezes, I can't help giggle at her expression. My words are now slow, full of meaning, driving my point home "I thought not... So I will tell you this once... I am different from you and all the others, because he loves me... Wants me... Needs me... From the second we met, we both knew... Your crazy sick hold over him, carries no weight now... He finally sees you for what you truly are... And you sicken him" she gasps, reality is a bitch, I chuckle freely before continuing "So I say again... Stay away from him, away from his family... From now on, you are going to be very busy on every occasion like this... Every lunch... Every business meeting... You will find an excuse and keep your distance... Or you will be sorry" I finish patting her head, I almost laugh at my stupid actions but for some reason, they must appear intimidating as her voice is low but still doubtful,

"You can do nothing"

"I can make your life hell for starters, ruin your reputation, make everyone despise you as much as I do" my tone holds promise,

"How?" she asks defiantly,

I can still feel Christian staring over at us, every chance he gets, Elena has her back to him but I'm sure he can read her body language, I just pray the music lasts and Grace can keep him busy, I don't want him involved with this. I smile sweetly at her for Christian's benefit, I catch Taylor's eye, he still holds off, he knows I'm handling this but it's a great relief just to know that he's around, and has my back,

"See that wonderful woman over there?" I nod towards our table "The woman that you tried to quiz before" I catch Kate's eye, she stands quickly and heads over. Elena's brow furrows but her body straightens and presents itself, ready to defend, "She is my best friend and you have no idea who she is or what she is can do... Do you?" I ask her, her face is set, the mask in place "Let me introduce you" I say graciously as Kate reaches us,

"Kate this is Elena Lincoln" I state with a cold voice, Kate in no way smiles or offers out her hand,

"Elena this is Katherine Kavanagh of Kavanagh Media" I bite my lip to hide my chuckle, as her face falls,

"Yes... You should be wary... Bad press would not help you... Would it?" I challenge,

"You can't say anything... Can't prove anything... Christian would never..." she splutters nervously to My delight,

"Does it really matter, what I can prove or not? Mud sticks and the rumors alone, about your preference for beating up young boys, would haunt you... How many doors do you think would be slammed in your face? Do you think you would ever be welcome at an event like this again?" she is stunned into silence, she has no defense, "So I say again, for the last time... Leave... Now... Stay away... Or I will tell Grace... I will do whatever it takes to destroy you" I feel so good, but hide my pride. Her face is ashen, she is physically shaking, with a virtual growl, she turns on her heel to leave. As she does, she starts to turn her head towards Christian and Grace, I lean in quickly "Don't even look at them" I snarl, all my restraint lost, "Or I will... Have my friend Taylor... Help you out" with a frustrated curse, she lowers her head as she scurries off.

As I watch her storm away, I physically sag heavily, letting out a deep breath I didn't realize I was holding. Feeling the adrenaline rush recede, my legs start to shake and I feel my upper lip starts to perspire, I turn to Kate with wide eyes,

"What the hell was that all about Steele? I knew she was bad news but God Ana you sure told her" her humor aims to calm, more than to entertain and I happily laugh out the tension. I look to the dance floor and Christian instantly relaxes as I catch his eye and wink. Taylor, who is still hovering smiles and nods proudly, as I silently mouthe my thanks. Kate drapes her arm over my shoulder "You look like you could do with a drink" she states the obvious, with a smirk,

"You're not kidding Kate, we will talk later okay?" she nods, I giggle, as Kate raises her arm and two eager young waiters appear, both very eager to serve her, I laugh as I roll my eyes, nothing ever changes.

Gulping down my wine, I finally hear the music pause and know before I turn, that Christian will be heading urgently my way. Now for my next job... I have to calm and reassure him.

He appears behind me, his arms sweeping around my waist, as he urgently pulls me into his chest, I gasp, it's like hitting a wall. He is rock solid, frozen with fear and tension, his face burrows into my neck, almost embarrassingly and I hear his soft desperate voice in my ear, "Oh Ana, Ana, Ana"

"It's fine Christian, I'm fine" I whisper, holding his arms tightly, I lean back into him as his body finally eases, "Hi Grace" I say in warning, I feel Christian straighten and force a smile, as she appears behind him, breathless, flushed and totally happy,

"Oh Ana, I forgot what a wonderful dancer my son was, sorry for monopolizing him" her face is jubilant and I could never taint that,

"It's fine Grace, it was a pleasure to watch but it's my turn now" I tease, pulling Christian's arm from in front of me, I turn towards him "Would you care to dance with me Christian" I ask with a curtsy,

"Oh of course, nothing would give me greater pleasure" he purrs with an elaberate bow, his relief evident,

Grace's chirpy voice ruins the moment, "What happened to Elena, she is like the Scarlet Pimpernel, Where has she disappeared to now?" Grace's eyes scan the sea of people, eagerly looking for her so called friend,

I feel Christian's body stiffen and his eyes immediately tense, I lie with a smile "Oh Grace, she told me to apologize to you for not waiting, she had a prior engagement and didn't want to disturb your dance with Chrisitan, she said she would call you" May God strike me down for blatantly lying, but what else could I say?

We are saved from any more discussion, as a breathless Carrick and a bouncing Mia appear back at the table, "That girl will be the death of me" he teases, but he is gasping for breath, his cheeks are flushed and he eagerly flops into a chair, the Dr in Grace goes into auto pilot, taking care of her husband as Mia looks on concerned, so I use the distraction to free myself and Christian, taking his hand, I drag him onto the dance floor.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx C

As the music starts, my arms tighten, I know we are not moving fast enough for this song but I don't care, the closeness is what I crave not the actions. I pull Ana in tighter. I can't believe what just happened, how Elena could get anywhere near her, I will have to talk to Taylor, find out how she slipped through his net. Not that it's his fault, Elena can be very determined when she wants to be... I can't believe she got so close to her, talking to her, taunting her, my arms tighten protectively,

"Will you let me breathe" Ana giggles, squirming against my chest, I pull away cupping her face. I vaguely notice we are only swaying to the up tempo music now, my mind is still racing, I'm breathing deeply, trying so hard to contain everything I'm feeling right now,

"Oh Ana, I am so, so sorry you had to go through that, what did she say to you? Did she hurt you?" I daren't think, what that woman could have told her, we have been down some dark roads together, I shudder at the memory,

"She thought I was your sub" Ana states, I look down dreading to see sorrow but her eyes are still happy "It's okay I put her straight" she states proudly,

"I'm sure you did... At one point, reading Elena's body language like I can, she seemed so angry, I swear she wanted to whip you" my anger flames at the thought, but Ana surprises me by giggling, oh what a joyous sound,

"I think you're right" she whispers, I notice her blush, as she nibbles her lip, worry furrows her brow, oh God what upset her?

"What is it Ana? What did she do? I will..." I feel the rage build quickly once again but Ana's warm palm quickly, cups my stricken face, I lean in grateful that she's still here,

"I'm sorry Christian... But I wasn't very nice to her, I said a lot of things I probably shouldn't have... But I couldn't help it... Watching her drool over you like that, made me so angry... I don't like her Christian, I had real unsettling feelings around her, she is so cold so predatory..." I nod eagerly, grateful to confirm,

"Ana I felt it too... Everything you said and felt about her was true... I felt it, I rejected her earlier, that's what upset her, I couldn't look at her, be near her... She touched my arm and I burned Ana... I felt sick I. ..." I can feel the desperation rise... My shame... My sorrow,

"It's okay baby... She's history" Ana softly cooes, reading me so well. Her response instantly calming me, God is there nothing this woman can't face?... What she can overlook just to be with me. I lean in and kiss her slowly, our feet stop moving, our arms tighten around each other, dancing be damned... We are lost for a time, in our slow kiss, hers reassuring, mine convincing,

"I love you" I whisper against her soft warm lips,

"I know" she whispers confidently, pulling back she smiles at me still cupping my face, I lean into her palm craving her touch, "Forget her now Christian, it's over, done, she won't bother us again" I raise my eyes, despite wanting to truly believe her words, but I know Elena an she isn't warned off so easily...

"Ana, Elena is... Tough she..." her soft finger brushes my lips ceasing my worry, I notice a sheepish look cross her face "What" I mouth,

"Christian, I'm sorry but I threatened her, I introduced her to Kate, implied how Kate's connections could ruin her, if she didn't stay away... I'm sorry... I would never tell anyone, you know that... But she doesn't" her eyes twinkle mischievously,

My eyes widen in surprise, then I can't help my chuckle as the awe takes over "You're a tough little bunny aren't you?" I tease proudly,

"My claws do come out, if I am fighting for someone I love" she says, her voice soft and meaningful "And I truly do love you Christian, I would never let anyone hurt you... I would never hurt you" my lips descend urgently, claiming hers, reaffirming my need for her. Her arms tighten around me as my hands cup her soft beautiful face, I sigh against her lips, as I pull away and rest my brow to hers, God I love this woman...

"Ana I..." I feel Ana's arm, that is around my waist, suddenly leave me as she is pulled gently out of my arms. My eyes shoot up, my face hardens, my brows furrow, then I instantly relax as I hear Ana giggle and spot my annoying brother pulling Ana into his arms, he smiles widely at the two of us,

"You two have got to stop this... It's getting embarrassing now" his face is alive with humor, he's isn't embarrassed at all, "If you're not going to dance... Then get off the floor, use the room your being extortionately charged for... Save us all from the floor show" Ana blushes and Kate chuckles, who I now notice is beside me,

"Christian dance with Kate, I need to show Ana, how us Grey Men really dance" and I watch as he playfully leads her away. Her eyes are bright, alive, her giggle lingers behind her, as I turn to face Kate. I notice she looks slightly embarrassed, which I find highly amusing, I bow dramatically, feeling suddenly jubilant. My grin is wide as Kate relaxes, she softly giggles "Care to dance Miss Kavanagh?" I offer her my hand,

"Thank you, Mr Grey" she answers placing her hand in mine. As I take her hand, I spin her onto the floor and I catch Ana's eye as she twirls past us and her wink, sends my heart pounding... God I love that woman...

PLEASE REVIEW...


	33. 33 New Dance Move's

MA-JUST INCASE. ;)

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A

As Elliot sweeps and swings me around the floor, I can't contain My laughter "Will you please... Slow down Elliot... Or I will throw up on your shoes" I gasp, as his humorous eyes twinkle. He thinks I'm kidding but my head is spinning, Elliot's belly laugh is loud but his feet eventually slow down "That's better" I giggle, as my feet can now keep up. I catch Christian's eye as he glides past with Kate and my wide grin takes over as our eyes lock,

"Thank you Ana" I hear Elliot quietly mutter, his voice full of appreciation,

Pulling my gaze away from Christian, I glance up at him, my eyes questioning "For what?" I ask sounding puzzled, his face is serious but his eyes are bright as he chuckles,

"For pulling my brothers head out of his ass, giving him a life... For changing him into a totally different person at the touch of a button... For making him happy... For making my Mother happy..." I smile up at him, "Christ Ana... For giving me a proper brother... Do you know that he actually hugged me earlier this evening... Hugged me... Fuck Ana... Sorry" he looks sheepish at his slipped curse, I giggle at his shocked and flustered state,

"And don't forget Kate" I add, my eyebrows rise in amusement, he chuckles loudly all embarrassment forgotten,

"Yes, of course, how could I possibly forget your wonderful, amazing, sexy as hell friend Kate... Thank you Ana" he leans into me and plants a sloppy wet kiss on my cheek, "Yuck" I say with a giggle, moving both our joined hands towards my face, I wipe away the slobber,

"God... It's like I've been kissed by a Labrador" I tease, he laughs loudly, then leans in,

"Is Elena your new puppy?" he asks, one eyebrow cocked,

"What" I breathe, my shocked face betraying my indifference,

"You were stroking her head, like she was a puppy in a pet store window" he teases,

"She has very nice hair" I mumble lamely, Elliot's loud laughter booms, causing a few people close by to turn, I smile at their passing faces,

"Ana, I may not be as sharp as Kate or Christian, but I'm not totally dense, it was clear as day, that you didn't like her" I chew on my lip and curse internally, what the hell do I tell him? He senses my worry and thankfully doesn't want to delve, "I don't know what went on between you both... I don't wanna know... But if I'm needed, you know where I am" I smile thankfully up at him and squeeze his hand, he shakes his head rolling his eyes "Just one thing though Ana... Remind me never to mess with you... I thought Kate had balls... But you, are in a different league".

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx K

As Christian, spins me round and around, I can feel his hesitance, his resistance, his arms are ridged, keeping his dance space firmly locked, keeping our distance guaranteed. There is no suppleness to him at all, not like when he is with Ana. I can still feel him though, the power he omits, the strength he has, the control he must hold on to.

Elliot has spoken a lot over this last week, about what Christian has always been like, what emotions and reactions Ana has brought out of him and the changes in his behavior, that even from a distance, his family have noticed. After what the world and his dog, have witnessed tonight, they are not wrong. I glance up at him, as he smiles, his eyes sparkle, I can't help but ponder, how Ana is rather lucky, he is kinda hot,

"Thank you Kate, for helping Ana before" Christian's grateful low voice, breaks the silence and my inappropriate musings, I nod with a smile,

"She's my friend Christian" I pause, as he nods proudly, "I don't really know what was going on" I notice relief in his eyes "But if Ana was mad, that woman must be bad news" I notice Christian's eyes darken, as his brow furrows, his already hard posture solidifies further "But don't worry about Ana" I quickly add, his relief is noticeable, as his eyes eagerly read mine for reassurance, "She is tougher than she looks, she has lived with me too long, for her not to be" I jest, as he genuinely laughs. Such a rare sight before he met Ana... But now...

"You make her very happy you know Christian" I tell him truthfully, his face beams like a five year old with ice cream, I can't help my returning grin, God he's got it bad "I have never seen Ana like this before... Or you... For that matter" I state with raised eyebrows "What is it about our little Ana, that has brought about such a change in you Christian?" I tease, expecting some resistance but he surprisingly gushes,

"She's amazing Kate, what I feel, when I'm with her is... Like nothing I have ever felt before... I have never done all of this wooing and dating" he flushes, god love him "Spending the night with another person... Has Never... But with Ana it feels so right... I... I love her Kate... If I lost her now, It would..." his voice saddens, his arms drop slightly, his guard buckles, Oh dear...

Elliot is right, this relationship is totally life changing for him and no doubt, for Ana too. I feel the anxiety sweep over him, as I notice him scouring the dance floor looking for her, when he catches Ana's eye, he physically changes in my arms, not only can I see it, I can feel it... Wow... He is so out of his depth, he's drowned and sunk to the bottom.

"Christian" I say, his eyes lower slightly, surprise hits them, I think he forgot where he was, that I was even here, he is so focused on Ana, I chuckle softly at his slight embarrassment "From what I know about you, all this... Is as new for you, as it is for Ana, I love her too ... But if you hurt her... I will kill you" I hold a stern gaze, pitching my voice, trying to intimidate, but he knows I'm teasing, trying to lighten things, his laugher rings out, "Oh Kate... I would never... Could never... Plus... I think after what I saw of Ana tonight, you wouldn't need to, she can easily defend herself"

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx C

As I rest against the table opposite the ladies bathroom, awaiting Ana's return, My Blackberry buzzes in my pocket. I reach in and pull out my phone to find out who is the cause, of this annoying interruption, all the hairs stand up on the back of my neck, as I notice the caller ID. I clench my hand tightly around my phone, to stop myself from throwing it violently across the room, "The fucking nerve of the woman" I virtually growl as I read the message, half of me wants to laugh, God, how much did she have to drink? I have never known Elena to whine.

'Christian darling, your TOY... Was abusive, insulting, threatening, she ordered ME away, so to save a scene, I obliged, talk to her, sort this out and we WILL meet for lunch tomorrow, yours Elena'

I quickly punch out My reply.

'I confirm and collaborate with everything... MY LOVER... Has proposed, I agree fully with her terms and conditions that she lay down to you, I will forward MY confirmation in triplicate... Via... MY LAWYERS'

By the end of the week, she will have nothing, I can't help the joviality that takes over me. I'm still chuckling into my phone, when I see a pair of highly polished shoes, nervously fidgeting in front of me. Knowing who it is, I look up, my face is stern but I feel my eyes portray my true jubilant mood,

"What the fuck happened Taylor" I ask with a heavy sigh but it's traced with amusement, Taylor instantly relaxes and shrugs his shoulders, all his sheepishness lost to relief,

"Sorry Sir, don't know how the fuck she got through but in My defense Sir, I was preoccupied keeping another threat at bay" he rolls his stressed eyes, which I ignore,

"What threat could possibly be more important than Ana?" I ask, I feel the annoyance trying to enter my tone, my pulse quickens "You should have intervened took Ana away, taken her back upstairs" when I think back to what happened... I... God if it had of been anyone, other than my Mother, I would have ran, threw Elena out myself, for even daring to approach Ana, never mind speak to her, upset her, hurting her...

"Sir, with all due respect... Ana held her own, at her own direction, I held back" he sounds amused, and his laughing eyes confirm that fact, my relief is instant, he was closer than I was, he must have known what was happening,

"Did you hear what Elena said? Did Ana seem upset at all?" I swallow closing my eyes, I don't want to know what lies and vulgar truths, she could have filled her head with. The fact that Ana knows we have been intimate, must hurt her so much, no matter what the scenario, reason or cause behind it, Taylors low chuckle, causes my eyes to jump to his,

"Ana was fine, and the Lincoln woman" I notice his tone darkens, as he spits out her name, Did everyone know what she was, before me? "She never got a chance to say much... Excuse my bluntness Sir, but Ana tore her a new one and sent her packing" his eyes recapture his earlier amusement,

"She did?" my tone of relief is not lost on Taylor, he quickly assures with a smirk,

"Yes Sir... Your girls got balls, she also has your back" he states and stands proudly, well go my little bunny, I can't help my internal praise, my stupid grin is hard to miss,

"Oh fuck... Fuck" I hear Taylor curse, What now? I quickly follow Taylor's gaze and barely contain my laughter, God this night has everything. I glance at Taylor, his face is white, his suddenly clammy brow, laced with beads of sweat. He takes an urgent step forward, I quickly take hold of his arm to hold him still,

"Shit Sir... I'm sorry..." he flusters, God he looks like he is going to have a heart attack, Gail would kill me, but I can't help laughing, "It's okay Taylor... They have met before" he turns looking quizzical, I nod slowly "The other night at dinner" I tell him, rolling my eyes, we both just stare as Ana and Patricia come out of the bathroom,

"Shit..." he mutters, his face dumbfounded,

"Exactly" I mumble, I'm right there with him, seeing those two together so friendly, is head spinning, My two worlds Black and White colliding... With hugs and giggles... Only with Ana, could this ever be possible. I shake my head watching them head our way, Oh shit, No Ana, please don't bring her over... How will Ana feel seeing us both together? Knowing what we have done together must hurt her, she must never find out how I treated Patricia, how I..." Taylor's comical voice brings me back, I glance to him with wide eyes,

"Well Sir... Would now be a good time to tell you, that Dr Flynn is also here, I have asked him to keep his distance also, I didn't know how much Ana knew so... I covered every base" he shrugs with a smile,

"Christ, you have had your hands full" I chuckle,

"Flynn didn't mind, just watching from afar" Taylor informs me,

"I bet he didn't" I mutter, rolling my eyes with a shake of my head, John has probably filled two notebooks tonight, on observing my behavior alone. I can't help my smile, it would be good to see him though, "Ask him to pop over would you, before he leaves, I would like to introduce him to Ana" I notice Taylor's eyes widen approvingly,

"Will do Sir" he confirms, before squaring himself, as Ana nearly reaches us,

"Thanks for everything Taylor" I whisper, he turns looking slightly surprised,

"Your welcome Sir" he replies, he hides his small smile, that is trying so hard to surface.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A

As I stumble out of the stall, on heels and champagne, I can't help my giggle, as I meet a pair of familiar brown eyes in the mirror, "Hi Trish, it's so nice to see you again, have you had a good evening?" I gush happily, she grins nodding,

"I won't ask if you have, the whole room has been entertained by you pair this evening" she teases with a flush, I beat her blush with a burn, she notices and comforts "Don't worry, Mr Grey is so happy with you, the man here tonight blatantly showing affection is a stranger, not just to me but to the whole room, we can't help but be fascinated... You have to keep him, he loves you" she winks still teasing, I knew she was nice...

"I think I just might, nothing could tair me away from him now" the champagne has loosened my tongue, as I catch her eyes, they appear worried, "What's the matter?" I whisper, no don't tell me you still love him... Please...

"I notice you spoke to Mrs Lincoln" her face and demeanor change, but I can't help my relief,

"I guess you're not so keen on her either" I state the obvious, she shakes her head stepping closer, her voice lowers an octave,

"No I'm not, Don't trust her Ana, she... I don't know what has gone on... With her and Mr Grey but she has a control over him that you..."

"Not anymore she doesn't" I interrupt with confidence, Trish's eyes widen,

"Good, keep her clear of him, she will interfere and turn Mr Grey against you... She..." I feel and see her agitation and embarrassment, I lean into her and take her hand, my eyes plead with her to continue "With Mr Grey and I, she encouraged me to confess my feeling to him... She knew how he would react, what he would do... She knew I had fallen for him, and even though it was only one sided, she still felt threatened... I..." I feel my face fall, I'm not sure why, Trish's hand tightens on mine, "I'm sorry Ana, forgive me, you don't want to hear all of this, it must be hard for you to talk to me, knowing what Mr Grey and I have shared" she flushes lowering her eyes,

"I won't say I'm totally jealousy free, but no disrespect to you... But I don't know the man you do, the man I have, is a new man, he is so different with me" I blush, as she smiles fondly,

"You're right, you will both be very happy, that is obvious" Standing tall she prepares to leave, "I really must go, it's getting late, we're checking out in the morning but once again Ana, it was lovely to see you again, Taylor instructed me to keep my distance, so it was nice to bump into you before I left" she offers out her hand, which I eagerly shake, I can't believe Taylor, he obviously hasn't spoken to Christian,

"You too Trish" I offer apologetically, as she giggles,

"Thank Mr Grey for dinner, it was very kind of him" she flushes,

"Thank him yourself, he's outside, he won't leave me alone now" I giggle rolling my eyes, she smiles knowingly but gets a little flustered,

"I couldn't possibly" her voice is suddenly nervous,

"He won't bite" I tease, then kick myself... As I don't really know what went on between them,

"No, I know, but our relationship was so different, you have said it yourself, he was a different man then, he..." her voice falters,

"Exactly" I state, "So come and meet Christian, and not Mr Grey" she looks puzzled but curious, I take her hand and pull her towards the door.

As I leave the bathroom holding Trish's hand, I notice Taylor nearly pass out, his face is a picture but Christian seems relaxed, he is still leaning against the table, exactly where I left him, I head over with Trish. As we approach, I notice Christian starts to look a bit uncomfortable, as does Trish but I take his hand as I reach him, squeezing gently he stands politely, Taylor's eyes widen as he freaks and scurries away, I giggle, yeah... He's really tough.

"Christian, Trish just wanted to Thank you for dinner" they both seem uneasy so close to each other and for some reason it pains me, they spent so much intimate time together, doing God only knows what and they don't feel comfortable being near each other, I just can't understand it, We need to lighten this, my voice is teasing as I lean in and hug Christian's waist, my eyes hold Trish's, "It's okay Christian, I won't tell her how you offered to pay for her wedding"

"What?" Trish gasps,

"Ana" Christian scolds with a hint of a blush, Trish and I giggle, she is still slightly gobsmacked but recovers quickly, as Christian offers her his hand, she takes it flabbergasted, even more so when he speaks to her, his tone is soft, grateful, musical, another thing I can tell instantly that she has never experienced,

"Thank you Patricia, for talking to Ana, for easing her worries, I do owe you and I would happily pay for your wedding if..."

"No... No, that's not necessary" she mutters embarrassed "But Thank you anyway, Ana I really must go" she can't get away fast enough,

"Okay Trish, It has been great to see you again" I lean away from Christian and hug Trish before she runs for it, Christian shakes her hand again,

"Goodbye Patricia" he utters, in a soft thankfully voice,

"Goodbye Mr Grey" she whispers, she turns and heads into the crowd.

As Trish walks away, Christian pulls me back into him and sits back on the end of the table, pulling me with him so I bow into him, I feel his body warm mine and I wrap my arms around his neck, I look up to find him staring down at me with awe filled eyes "Once again, you blow me away woman" he mutters against my lips before devouring them. His hot sensual tongue invades My mouth, his hands hold me tight, were locked together, oblivious again to our surroundings until we hear a discreet cough, Christian sighs, pulling away,

"I'm not interrupting anything am I Christian" a strangers, bemused voice hits my ears, I turn slowly to find, a middle age, kind looking man sniggering at us both, I flush as Christian chuckles,

"As if you would John" Christian replies, standing tall taking me with him,

"Hello Christian" the man says cheerily,

"Hello John" Christian rolls his eyes as he turns to present me, I hold his eyes as he smiles "Ana this is Dr John Flynn... The shrink I was telling you about" John and I both splutter with a half gasp, half giggle, at Christian's cheerful mocking,

"Hello John" I say, offering him my hand, he takes it kissing my knuckles as Christian rolls his eyes smirking,

"Hello, it's a pleasure to meet you Ana... May I?" he nods towards the dance floor, we both look up at Christian, who laughs,

"Of course, but I have my eye on you Flynn" he teases, the good Dr laughs, genuinely surprised.

As we slowly move around the floor, I can't help think how he isn't as light on his feet as Christian or as exuberant as Elliot, but he is older and wiser. A thought occurs and my words are out, "Thank you so much Dr Flynn, for advising Christian to go with the flow" he laughs softly shaking his head, no doubt at Christian interpretation of his years of study and disregard to his use of long words,

"And how has that worked out for you both?" he asks with a raised eyebrow, Why do I suddenly feel like he would want me, flat on my back, on a couch spilling my guts... Well not today,

"Well, you tell me" I bounce right back "You have obviously been observing us together all evening"

"Touche" he chuckles, tipping his head "Your right of course... But seriously Ana, I should be Thanking you, the change I have seen in Christian this evening, is unbelievable... When Christian came and saw me, before your dinner date the other week, he talked eagerly about you, was happy, excited but was also very adamant about being totally honest and open with you... He wanted to tell you everything about himself, from beginning to end. He also wanted me to speak to you, at our earliest opportunity, which just so happens to be now, so I apologize... But he was keen for my injection after his honesty with you, he didn't want to hurt or disappoint you in the future... Wanted to lay all his cards on the table from the beginning"

"He has certainly told me everything" I roll my eyes with an exasperated sigh,

"I notice you had words with Mrs Lincoln" I freeze in his arms, he smiles urging me on, he needs to know I'm not upset, I suspect, for Christian's benefit more than his,

"Do you know all about her?" I ask quietly, I know he does but I still need confirmation, these are Christian's secrets not mine,

"Yes" Flynn states professionally, I nod, but I don't know what to tell him, his comical tone interrupts my fretting, "Tell me Ana... How did it feel taking that bitch down?" I gasp shocked, then laugh loudly, at his eager for info face,

"It was so much fun" I giggle, then compose myself, as I feel a wave of embarrassment "I couldn't help myself... I know I shouldn't of said half the things I did to her... But knowing what she has done to him... How she has lied to Grace for all these years and the damaged she has done to him... It took all of my restraint to not just rip her head off" I look up sheepishly at him, I can't believe I just confessed violence to a shrink, What ever will he think of me?

"Well I for one would have applauded you" he smiles as I gratefully giggle, his eyes darken a tad, "I noticed that Christian rebuked her earlier, she didn't look at all happy... How are you? After your encounter with her, is there anything I can help you with?"

"I'm fine Dr" I say rolling my eyes, he shrugs apologetically, I know he is definitely going to report back to Christian and I'm glad, anything to ease him, to stop the worry that eats away at him,

"I'm truly fine... Please help Christian not to worry" he nods with a smile, as I continue "Don't get me wrong... I was scared, angry, confused, have I already said angry?" I tease, he chuckles softly, "After what Christian told me... About what had gone on between the two of them, I was so angry, repulsed, full of hatred for her... but for Christian my heart bleeds, he went from one evil to another... I told him what I thought of her, of their relationship... He didn't agree with me at first, didn't think that it was wrong but now... He see's her for what she is, a child molester, he sees the damaged she caused him" I glance up at the Dr hoping I haven't said anything I shouldn't have but his eyes are wide,

"Well... I have been tying to convince him of those facts for years, so Thank you again Ana, you're very good for him, he has appeared so different tonight, unlike anything I have seen before, so be proud of yourself and I'm glad you're going with the flow" he winks, I laugh loudly, then sigh happily, as I feel Christian's arms, protectively wrap around my waist from behind me, he gently pulls me into his warm chest,

"Sorry Flynn your time us up... I want my woman back" his voice teases, but the truth is there and John can see it and he steps away graciously with a polite bow,

"Of course Christian, it's been a pleasure to meet you Ana" he tips his head,

"You to John and Thank you" I smile,

"Will I see you next week as usual Christian?" Flynn ask with a grin, Christian spins me to face him, his arms claiming me back,

"Don't call me John... I'll call you, okay?" he states with a grin as we prepare to dance, he calls from over his shoulder to a departing Flynn, "Oh Flynn... I wouldn't put down the deposit on your house extension just yet... I probably won't be needing your services half as much" he jokes, looking down into my eyes with a beaming grin,

"That is evident Christian... And I would gladly live in a tent... If it meant you were finally truly happy"

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx C

As I glance around the room I notice the place is nearly deserted, only a scattering of guests remain, staff are busy cleaning up and the band are packing away. My family and I are all still seated around our table, everyone eager to keep hold of such a wonderful night. I glance around, Mom has had too much champagne and looks at me with tears silently pooling in her compassionate eyes, Dad is muttering softly in her ear, Elliot and Kate are engrossed in a battle about monster trucks... Don't even ask... And Mia is half asleep in her chair, the Duracel bunny has finally run out, I smile at the scene before me.

Ana burrows her face into my neck, kissing me softly, my arms tighten around her as she snuggles in my lap, I feel her stifle a yawn against my skin, "Do you want to go upstairs" I ask her, as much as I am loving all of this, I yearn to get her alone,

"No... I don't want it to end... But I'm so tired and my feet are killing me" she softly giggles, and that's enough for me,

"Come on, let's go and get you comfy" I cup her face and kiss her softly, as she nods gently,

As I stand, My Mom looks up smiling brightly, desperately trying to fight the tiredness and alcohol she must be feeling, I smile softly back, committing every inch of her perfectly contented face to memory, I revel in the knowledge that I have finally, made her truly happy and a shiver of elation runs through me, I smile broadly back at her,

"Are you both heading up Son? Ana does look very tired" Mom mumbles with a loud yawn, as the laughter flows freely between us all, Elliot and Kate stand to hug us both goodbye. As Ana and I do the rounds of hugs and kisses, I notice my Mom holding on to Ana, for just a tad too long, my Dad is aiding gently, trying to free Ana from my Moms grateful vice grip, I smile as I step in to fill the void hugging her tightly, she sighs heavily against me, holding me tight,

"Good night Mom" I whisper into her ear, kissing her cheek,

"Good night Son, see you both soon, we will all meet up for dinner sometime this week okay" my Mothers voice is eager, she is never going to get enough of this, I nod with a smile,

"That would be lovely, Thank you" as I step away Elliot's bear hug enfolds me, I hug back just as tight, it feels good to hug my brother,

"See you on Sunday Bro" Elliot reminds, I nod eagerly, as he steps away and heads for Ana,

"Hope you had a good evening Ana" Elliot kisses Ana's cheek,

"I had a wonderful evening, Thank you Elliot, Goodnight to you both, we will meet up soon okay," Ana directs at Kate who nods eagerly.

As Ana and I turn away, we notice Mia asleep on her arms, flat out on the table, I step around to her and plant a soft kiss on her forehead, she murmurs softly in her sleep, "Good night, you sweet wonderful girl" I whisper in her ear, I chuckle softly, my heart overwhelmed, as even in sleep, her face splits into a grin.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A

As we head up the stairs, I trail my hand over the piano in passing, suddenly I feel Christian's hand leave mine, I turn quickly around to find him, and can't help my surprised giggle, as I find him sitting at the piano, he holds out his hand with a wide grin, as I place my hand in his, he pulls me onto the stool next to him, I giggle, as I notice a waiter trip on the stairs as he looks back at us, his face a picture of shock, Christian pays no interest in anything but me, his eyes continuously hold my gaze,

"I told you I would play for you again, any requests" he asks while nuzzling my ear,

"You're going to play here? Wouldn't you sooner be upstairs" I ask, as he shakes his head still holding my eyes with his, his fingers start to move and the piece he wrote for me fills the air. As he continues to play I am totally lost, caught up in each and every note, I feel what the music is saying for him, I can read it in his eyes. I sigh heavily as the music stops and feel Christian softly wipe a tear from my cheek, he leans into kiss me, but before his soft lips find mine, there is a loud round of applause.

As Chrisitan and I tare our gazes from each other, we both feel the heat as we take in our surrounds, his family are all sitting on the stairs watching us eagerly, the hotel staff are hanging over the railings of the grand staircase, stray guests look on in awe, to my surprise Christian just bursts out laughing,

"Come on, let's go" he takes my hand helping me to stand "We have entertained these people enough tonight" he teases, smiling brightly to his family, he leans in and sweeps me up into his arms and heads up the stairs.

As we enter the elevator, I expect Christian to put me down, but he doesn't "I can walk you know" I whisper into his ear as his face turns to mine,

"I know, I just don't want to let you go" he mutters into my neck before slowly nibbling on my ear, I sigh contently as my arms wrap around him tighter. As we reach our floor, he steps out and heads for our suite still holding me tightly in his arms, with one hand he opens the door, kicks it shut and storms into the bedroom.

Placing me gently on the side of the bed, Christian kneels and starts to unfasten my strappy shoes, "Christian get up, you will ruin your suit" I giggle, he just smiles up at me ignoring my request, once my shoes are off, he gently rubs my feet, I lay back flat on the bed, "Oh... That's heaven" I purr, his strong fingers and thumbs, easing my tired feet,

"Is it now?" he drools,

"God yes... I forgot how hellish it is, dancing in heels" I sigh, as his thumbs expertly roll the pads of my feet,

"You look so beautiful tonight Ana, totally breathtaking" his soft voice complements,

"You don't look so bad yourself, you're as sexy as hell in a tux" I smirk, boy is he ever,

"Am I now" he chuckles, as he starts to crawl up my body nipping and nibbling, I feel the heat from him, through the soft flimsy fabric of my dress and instantly arch into him but as his lips reach mine, everything changes.

His kiss is suddenly hungry, urgent, overpowering, I feel like I can't breath, I place my palm flat against his chest andI push him gently away, I mumble as best I can against his warm powerful lips,

"Christian... Please stop" he freezes at once, rearing up to look at me,

"What's the matter?" his voice is panicked, his eyes torn, I shake my head, holding his gaze,

"Nothing's the matter Christian... But Please... You don't have to prove anything to me... You don't have to convince me of anything... You have nothing to chase away... It's just you and me, no one else, nothing else, okay?... I love you Christian, nothing and no one will ever take me away from you" I moan compassionately, as a single tear leaves the corner of his eye, I quickly lean up and kiss it away, his arms enfold me urgently as he rolls us both so I'm now on top,

"God, I love you Ana" the tone in his voice is heart wrenching,

"I know you do Christian" I truthfully reply,

"I'm so sorry Ana... But after everything you had to go through tonight, I wanted to be close to you... Help con... " I kiss him to silence his desperation, lovingly cupping his tortured, beautiful face, looking down at him, I kiss him once more before I continue,

"Christian, tonight has been perfect, we have wined and dined, danced and laughed, had a wonderful time with friends and family... What happened in the brief ten minutes of unpleasantness... Isn't important, is not something I will ever linger on in the memory of tonight... And it's not even over... Yet" I cock my eyebrow, licking my lips suggestively, I think there has been enough chatter,

"Is it not?" he whispers "What more could possible happen this evening?" he holds my gaze, but I notice him lick his lips, my insides throb as I feel him harden underneath me, responding to me,

"Well first things... First" I purr "I need to peel you out of this suit" I take his bow tie with my teeth and slowly pull it open, I hide my giggle, as I feel him nudge into my belly, his eyes widen and roll as I let my hands wander.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx C

I can't describe how I feel, when she claims me as hers, when she takes control, when she wants to please me, after everything that has happened tonight, I should be making love to her... But she knew... Knew how I was truly feeling. I did need to comfort her, I needed to reassure her that no one, means more to me than she does, how no one ever could. I was trying to chase the ghosts away, apologize for all the heartache I must have caused her, I have brought her nothing but one shocking revelation, after another, but to come face to face, while alone, with the one person she despises more than anything, must have been so hard for her, no matter how much bravado she holds.

As I totally lose my train of thought, I squirm into her soft warm body, I feel her soft fingers slowly unbuttoning my shirt, her soft lips kissing my newly exposed flesh, I moan deeply as I feel the heat from her run right through me, bringing my every nerve ending to life. As she shuffles and straddles my hips, she sits up holding my gaze, her eyes burn with desire as her fingers continuing to open my shirt. As the last button is opened, she pushes my shirt apart and rakes her nails softly down my chest, I moan out her name loudly, as the fire she invokes burns furiously right through me.

Taking my hands she pulls me up, kissing me softly, she pushes my jacket off my shoulders and quickly does the same with my shirt, pulling them free of my arms she tosses them to the floor, kissing me quickly her palm caresses my chest as she pushes me back onto the bed, shuffling further backwards she slowly pulls down the zip of my trousers.

I groan as her hand caresses my swollen cock through my tight shorts, her soft giggle vibrates through me, as she lowers her head and starts to trail kisses from my neck down my chest. As she reaches the band of my shorts, her feet hit the floor, she stands and her hands grip my hips, as she urgently pulls my clothing down, my eyes roll and my moan is deep, as I spring free she giggles, as she eyes how eager I am for her, she licks her lips as she pulls off my shoes and socks, and peels my clothes from me.

Lying totally naked and ready for her, I can't take my eyes from her, she reaches around herself and slowly pulls down the zip of her dress. As it pools at her feet I can't help but utter how beautiful she looks, she blushes, slightly conscious of only being in her sexy little pants but she soon recovers, as she once again climbs back onto the bed.

I feel her warm hands creep up my thighs, she is trying to hold my eye, but I know exactly where she really wants to look, it's written all over her, I can't help my low chuckle, as I close my eyes with a roll. I feel her hands reach my hips, they softly trail inwards and she grips me tightly, "Oh Good God... Ana" I gasp, the feel of her hands on me is delicious, the warmth, the closeness, the love I feel for her is... "Oh My Fucking Good God" I curse gently, as her hot, wet mouth covers me.

Ifeel her tongue caressing, teasing, pleasing, her hands grip me tightly moving slowly, her slow torture starts to build as her hands slips away and she start to move her mouth pulling me apart, Oh I need to touch her too, I know this is Ana comforting me, but no... I need her to. I lean up onto my elbows and watch for a moment, her sweet delicious mouth taking me as hers, I groan with need for her, "Swing round for me baby... Please" I breath, my voice needful, her eyes shoot open in surprise and lock with mine as her mouth continues to move and I feel myself buck inside her, "God this is so erotic" I utter, I'm lost for a moment, transfixed with her, but only one, "I need you Ana" I whisper, salaciously licking my lips, surprise hits her eyes, along with a flush to her cheeks as she understands my meaning.

She slowly without releasing me, moves on her knees to the side of me, but she isn't quick enough, I take her hips and pull her over me and I groan, as I feel her mouth move over me 180 degrees, oh the feelings she awakens in me are mind blowing. Holding her hips I pull her towards me, her groan vibrates right through my cock, as I start to trail my tongue up the back of her thigh.

I want to tease, taunt, and tantalize, but my need for her is too much "I'm sorry baby" I mutter against her flesh, as I rip her underwear right off her. Her guttural moans, hum around me, and my body needs release. I urgently run my tongue up and into her, and as I start to move, to taste her, to please her, to make her mine, her actions do the same, the faster I lick, tease, suck she does too, when I slow down to enjoy her, I feel her deep tight sucks, oh God this woman is perfect... So perfect, that I can't last much longer.

Gripping her hips, I bury my face into her, losing myself in the feel, taste and scent of her, I feel her hunger and closeness in her hot heavy gasps on my body, and I know she is so very close, as her insides start to throb. I bring my fingers to her hot throbbing clit and tease gently, as my tongue delves inside her, I feel my balls tighten, as Ana grips them firmly and I moan into her, I can't hold out any longer, I know I can't. As her mouth sweetly torchuers, I increase the pleasing pressure with my fingers, as I feel the first throb of pleasure shoot down my tongue, I joyously let go.

My orgasm is bone deep, ripped out of me, with pure love, pure passion, pure need, and as Ana slows her movements down, I do the same, teasing in time to her last lingering throbs. With a final deep throat suck and a groan of pure pleasure, Ana rolls off me to my side, I quickly shuffle up and swing around, so we are both now laying the same way. I roll over her, sweeping her loosened hair from her face, I lean in and kiss her softly, slowly, her arms wrap around me, I pull back to look at her beautiful, flushed, satisfied face, and my heart nearly explodes in my chest, "I love so much Ana" I chuckle joyfully, at her incoherent reply against my lips, I lay my head on her heaving chest, and revel in the comfort, How on earth... Was this woman ever meant for me...?

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A/N PLEASE REVIEW.


	34. 34 Good Morning Seattle

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx T

As I lose the warmth of the bed and comfort of sleep, I feel a sharp pain in my ribs... Shit... Since when have dreams hurt? I make a grab for my lost sheet and try to roll back into my dream, but I curse, as I feel yet another sharp, much harder, poke to my side, "What the fuck..." rolling back onto my back, I begrudgingly open one eye.

My anger falls away, only to be followed by apprehension, as my eyes widen fully. I see Gail standing by the side of the bed, She is looming over me, my warm sheet in her crossed arms, she looks more than a little pissed, and I swear I can hear her bare foot tapping... Oh crap,

"Why did you not wake me?" her voice demands, yep... She's definitely pissed,

"It was nearly 2am, when I got home, you..." her sharp voice interrupts, but how could I have woken her, she looked so peaceful,

"I was waiting up for you" she states, I chuckle softly,

"No... You were snoring on the couch" I try an joke, but her offense is obvious, as her face sets, shit "What's for breakfast?" I try again,

"If you ever want to eat breakfast again... You will show and tell me everything" her strong voice demands, she ain't gonna back down on this one and crap... I forgot,

"Can I see my pictures?" she demands, I shake my head weakly, as her eyes harden,

"I was so busy baby... Sorry, I never got a chance, I had a night like you wouldn't believe, the shit I had to deal with" I gush in my defense,

"Oh Jason" her disappointment is obvious, as she turns sharply on her heel to leave, she throws the rolled up bed sheet at me, cursing me under her breath. As she storms from the bedroom, I quickly jump up and run after her, as I catch up to her, she squeals, as I sweep her up effortlessly into my arms bridal style, I eagerly start to nuzzle into her neck, mumbling my apologies, she half heartedly attempts to struggle free, but her arms soon wrap around my neck, I head out into the main lounge of the apartment,

"You are not going to sweet talk your way out of this one Jason" she states, but I hear the chuckle hidden in her voice, so I know the worst is over... Thank fuck,

"Who said anything about talking" I nuzzle further into her soft warm neck, as she giggles. As we reach the kitchen, I place her gently on the breakfast bar, I move so I'm standing between her thighs, I cup her face and start to cover her in kisses, distraction is the only way out of this,

"Jason" she giggles softly, "You promised..." she cups my hands with hers and pulls her face away, "I will not let you distract me" she chuckles, as her eyebrows rise, she knows my tricks so well, "I don't like to whine but... You knew how much I..."

"Oh Gail, I'm so sorry baby really, but honestly, it was a hell of a night I..." I stand tall and step away abruptly, as my salvation comes to mind, "Yes" I kiss her swiftly, before rushing away,

"What is it?" Gail's questioning tone, follows me into the lounge,

"Wait there... I have just the thing to make you forgive me"

"Event momentos will not work this time Jason" she chuckles, shaking her head, oh yes they will.

I find my jacket on a nearby chair, and head back into the kitchen, as I do, I pull out half a dozen phones from my jacket pockets, and drop them into Gail's lap, Gail's gasp is full of surprises, as her eyes look into mine, "Why do you have so many mobile phones?" she asks with a grin, I grin widely back at her, Oh she is gonna love all of this,

"I confiscated them all from the hotel staff, there wasn't much I could do about the press, or guests for that matter but the hotel staff should know better, I will return them to reception shortly, but first let's take a look shall we" I laugh loudly at Gail's wide eyes and nodding head.

I watch Gail, as she watches clip after clip, She oohs and aahhs in all the right places, her face fascinated as she watches the happy couple, dancing, laughing, Grey being so unlike his usual self, I saw it first hand, so I know what she is seeing, and as her eyes water and the tears start to fall, I know that all is forgiven, I am learning... These are definitely happy tears.

I notice Gail's face harden and her lip curls, glancing over her shoulder at the phone, I grin, "Is that the Lincoln woman?" Gail spits, her tone is harsh, her eyes glare at the image on the phone, I nod as I watch the video, she is in the background, standing at the side of the dance floor watching Grey and Ana, her stone cold face set firm, I can't help my chuckle as Gail turns to look at me,

"Oh Gail, I nearly died, I thought we would have to move... My one order, my main objective was to keep her away, not to let her get anywhere near Ana, but she got through me and my team, I thought Grey was gonna have kittens"

"What on earth did he do?" Gail's urgent tone demands,

I chuckle at the memory, relief and humor, can now over take the terror I felt at the time "He couldn't do anything, when the witch flew in, he was caught up dancing with his Mother, I was busy keeping Grey's X-Sub out of the away, which was a fucking wasted effort" I huff, rolling my eyes, "She only turned out to be Ana's new best bud" I shake my head, totally fucking bewildered, Gail gasps,

"What.. Oh no... Which one?" her voice carries worry,

"Remember the Francis woman" I see her nod slowly, "The one that Elena introduced him to, a couple of years back, Patricia Francis, well Ana met her, more than once, during their time at the hotel apparently and as I say, new best bud, but..."

"Oh she was nice, I remember meeting her a few times, she... She loved him, I remember the day she left" her voice trials off, as she mentally recalls what happened, I remember too, there were a lot of tears that day, Gail helped her pack, I drove her home, she was a right mess, "So what happened between Ana and that awful woman" Gail asks, her eyes are bulging, her voice more than keen,

"The witch tried to upset Ana, intimidate her, but you know what, it didn't work, little Ana's got balls, I only heard a bit, but she saw her off, told her straight to stay away" I smile proudly, she sure surprised me, an Grey was amazed, they say the quiet ones are the worst,

"What did Mr Grey say?" Gail's tone is wary,

"Don't worry, he agreed with Ana, don't know what's changed but he didn't want to be anywhere near her when she approached Grey himself, I could tell he was trying so hard, to not just throw her across the room and leg it" Gail's eyes widen further as a smile takes over her face, "Grey is gonna see his lawyer's about ending all business dealings with her, which won't do her any favours" thank fuck, the interfering old crow deserves worse,

"Do you really think that's the last we will see of her? I hope so... But what if she comes back?"

"There is no chance of her getting her claws into him again, Ana is far more important" I shake my head, remembering the panic I saw in him while Ana was with Elena, "He loves her Gail, wait till you see them, I think the're both back here Sunday evening, he's taking the boat out first, Oh Gail your gonna love the change in him" I step back into her warm thighs, and run my hands up and under her robe, "And I love... A happy Gail" I lean in and kiss her, her arms circle my neck as I pull her forward off the breakfast bar, her legs wrap around my waist as I hold her close,

"Tell me more and I will show you how happy I can be" I hear her soft voice whisper in my ear,

"Oh with pleasure baby" and I quickly leg it to the bedroom.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx K

As I sit on the couch sipping my coffee, I flick through the TV channels, not bothering to linger on one in particular, as they are all showing the same thing, I shake my head with a chuckle, Ana and Christian are everywhere, every news channel, every gossip show, Christ, even the business programs are highlighting the extraordinary change, witnessed by many, in the allusive Mr Christian Grey.

I turn down the sound but leave the TV on some random gossip show, that is showing clip after clip, the grainy phone video that is running now, shows the two of them at the piano at the end of the night. I turn my head, as I see Elliot shuffling into the room, one hands down his shorts the other scratching his head, I roll my eyes with a giggle, as he heads straight for the coffee, he looks as ruff as I feel,

"He can't half play piano" I praise, nodding toward the TV, Elliot chuckles, as his widening eyes take in the TV,

"You know, I would have bet everything I own, that he would never, ever, play in public, Christ, Mia and Mom have to use every trick in the book, just to get him to play at home, but look at him... Ana is just..." his voice halts, as his face beams, the TV now shows the two of them, taking center stage on the dance floor, people mulling around watching them, they look so happy, totally in their own little world, but still... Totally head over heels,

"Has he spoken to you about Ana?" I ask, men must gossip just like women, surely,

"He hasn't said much, but his actions speak a thousand words... I know he loves her" he flops on the sofa next to me, eyes still glued to the brother he never knew he had,

"He wanted to take Ana to Vegas" I confess with a smirk, as Elliot splutters hot coffee all over himself,

"Shit..." he curses "What did Ana say?" his eager fun filled eyes bore into mine,

I shake my head with a small smile "She never realized what he was getting at... God love her, even though he asked her more than once by all accounts" Elliot's amused eyes turn back to the TV,

"God, he's got it bad" Elliot mumbles, I notice him frown at the TV, I follow his gaze to see what upset him, I notice Elena Lincoln, in the background of the clip, the jealous lush, in all her glory,

"Have you any idea what went on between her and Ana? I noticed you went to help her" his curious tone is low, I shake my head,

"Ana and I, haven't had a real chance to talk yet, so I don't know for sure, but I know Ana, and for her to turn the way she did, on a complete stranger, something big must of happened, from what I could gather, this friend of your Mother's, Elena, seems to have a liking for hitting young boys" I notice Elliot's eyes widen, and his shoulders sag. I glance back at the TV "I don't know where Christian fits into all of this, but Ana warned her away from him, told her to stay away from all of you, especially your Mother, she made her point very convincingley, so I don't think you will be seeing much of her from now on" I drag my eyes from the TV and notice Elliot has paled slightly, his hands grip his cup and his eyes are not totally focused,

"What's the matter?" I whisper, as he comes back to me, he shakes his head as he looks at me, an expression I have never seen before and can't really read, takes over his face, his cheeks flush, as my brows raise in surprise "What?" I ask again, this is so unlike Elliot, where is the confident, happy Chappy, that sees the fun in everything? My worry grows as he finally speaks,

"I have this... I must have been about 14/15, me and some guys were... Well anyway I... Have this memory or it could be a dream... Of Elena and..." his voice falters with hesitation, what on earth has come over him? I can genuinely feel his nerves and embarrassment, so I'm not going to push him, I can find out all I need to know later from Ana, but something has upset him, something has most certainly gone on, I reassure him quickly,

"Elliot, it's fine... You don't have to tell me" I feel him relax as his eyes lift to mine, "I do think you need to talk to Christian though, he may need you" I take his hand rubbing comfortingly, as he turns and nods into his cup, he takes a gulp, his eyes are clouded, his brow is furrowed, and my curiosity burns, he is obviously upset about something,

"I will talk to him" he says more to himself I think, then his face brightens suddenly and I think the moment has passed, "If you don't mind, Christian has invited us out with him and Ana tomorrow, he wants to take his boat out and you do need two, to sail, so do you fancy it?" I nod with a chuckle,

"Of course your Brother has his own boat" I roll my eyes, as Elliot just shrugs "It would be nice to spend some time with Ana, I've missed her this past week" his face brightens, he leans back into the couch pulling me with him, I quickly grab my phone from the coffee table and snuggle into him, he starts to flick through the TV channels and chuckles,

"There is just no escaping them... Mom is gonna love this, she will be pausing and rewinding for years" he chuckles softly to himself, as I use my phone,

"Who are you calling?" he asks, still chuckling at the TV,

"I'm texting Ana, giving her a heads up, she is going to freak, when she sees all of this" a thought occurs, "Elliot, what will Christian do when he sees all of this... He is a very private man he..." Elliots booming belly laugh cuts me off, as I look at him bewildered, he just nods at the TV, I glance over,

"Does he look like a very private man?" and my laughter follows his, as we both stare at the two people we both love, snogging the faces of each other, in full HD on the TV... Ana is so gonna freak...

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A

As I creep back into the bedroom from the bathroom, eager to get back into the warmth of Christian's arms, I curse, as I hear my phone beep from the other room. Grabbing Christian's shirt from the floor, I pull it on and tiptoe into the heart of the suite. I take my phone from my bag on the dining table and open up the message.

'Channel 27 now... Make sure you're sitting down... K. Xx'

Why on earth would Kate be telling me to watch TV? I head for the TV with a frown, what could possibly be so important at this time in the morning it's not even... Wow it's nearly 11am... So much later than I thought... Well we did have a late night, I smile, as my body shivers at the memory of last night.

Switching on the TV, I key in the numbers. As the TV springs to life, I feel my jaw drop, my brow crease and as what I see, finally sinks in, my legs give out and I sink to the floor, my butt lands with a bump, as I sit cross legged like a child, what the hell...

The first thing I notice is the four women sitting around a desk, today's papers scattered in front of them, they eagerly tare the news and gossip apart, the frozen still picture in the background, suddenly fills the screen and I gasp as I watch myself and Christian kissing, OH NO... I internally cringe, my head lowers into my hands, I don't want to see any more.

I don't even realize Christian is behind me, until I hear his voice, "Wow... You look more beautiful than I remember" he lowers himself behind me, shuffling close to me, he pulls me into him, the sheet he has wrapped around himself, he also enfolds me into, pulling me tightly further into his chest, he rests his chin on my shoulder and his eyes watch the TV mesmerized, I hear his soft laughter, his awe filled voice "Baby you look amazing"

"Christian, why are we all over the Television?" I ask bewildered, my brow is furrowed, my voice is low,

"Sorry baby" he whispers into my ear, as he kisses my neck, his eyes still locked onto the TV, "Your life, as you know it... Will never be the same, I did warn you" I notice his voice is surprisingly calm,

"Are you not upset by all of this?... You..." I try to ask but he chuckles and nibbles my ear, arching into him, I feel his words vibrate up my neck,

"Ana, I want the world to know you are mine, and how much I love you... And now they do" his eyes are wide, excited, proud, Wow... His voice saddens a touch as he continues, "But the downside to all of this, is that everyone will want to know who you are now, they will start to dig and hound" I bite my lip, and look up at the TV, I casually flick over to another channel, I turn up the sound and can't help my giggle, as Christian just rolls his eyes.

The reporters amused voice fills the room, "Today ladies and gents, Alien abduction has been proven, as these pictures and the video footage clearly prove, the change in Christian Grey has to be other worldly" and the TV is suddenly filled with old photos of Christian at other functions and events. All the pictures show him angry, cold, scowling, an old video plays of him snapping at a waitress, who runs away in floods of tears, then the screen is filled with pictures and footage from last night, where he is now dancing, his face full of laughter and more kissing, oh no... The reporter continues, "All kidding aside folks, who is the beautiful woman that has melted the frozen heart, of a certain Mr Grey? What planet did she fly in from? We will keep you posted" he kisses my neck pulling me tighter into him, the heat from him is comforting, as I try to get my head around everything.

Christian leans around me and takes the TV remote, he turns down the TV, and nuzzles back into my neck "They will never leave you alone now" he whispers sadly into my ears, he cups my face and turns me toward him and his lips softly kiss mine. I feel and hear his exasperated sigh, as we are interrupted, "And so it begins" Christian mumbles, as he kisses my temple. As he stands he shrugs off the sheet and wraps it around me, before he heads into the bedroom, to answer his ringing phone.

As Christian leaves the room, I glance once more at the TV, we are now dancing and I can't help my smile as my heart tightens, he looks as sexy as hell in a tux, he looks so calm, so carefree, so god damn hot. My body reignites as I feel a horney shiver, but then I laugh out loud, as my belly rumbles.

Jumping up, I head to the hotel phone. I place an order for breakfast, or should that be brunch, and ask them to send up today's paper's. As I finish the call, I head into the bedroom and find Christian pulling on his robe, while talking hands free into his phone, Taylor's worried voice fills the room,

"Sir, have you seen the papers or turned on the TV?"

"Yes" he states in an even voice but his eyes are still bright,

"What do you wanna do about this media circus Sir? The phones have been ringing off the hook since 6am" Taylor's concern is very much apparent,

"Nothing for now, first priority though, is to arrange security for Ana, starting Sunday night" he turns and smiles at me, as I watch him storm around the room,

"Already on it Sir" Taylor confirms,

"She will also need a new phone, pre-logged, pre-loaded, sort out a car, oh and Taylor, send a team over to Ana'a apartment, check out all the security measures, make sure it's secure, speak to the owners, install what is needed, buy the building if need be" his authoritative, confident voice, bounces off the walls, I notice I'm chewing my lip,

"I've got guys over there now Sir, Your brother and Miss Kavanagh have already called, there are press outside the building already awaiting her return" Taylor's regretful tone, causes Christian to curse under his breath,

"Get rid of them Taylor and ask Ros to issue a short statement"

"Confirming what sir?"

"Nothing yet, just the usual, 'We have no information at this time, we will issue a statement in a day or two' everything else can wait till Monday, I need The Grace ready for tomorrow afternoon" I sit heavily on the bed, as once again I am overwhelmed, Wow... He takes control, the true CEO at the touch of a button, I bet he's as hot as hell, all fired up in a boardroom. I feel myself flush, Christian catches my eye and holds it, a small crease to his brow,

"That's fine Sir, all will be in place, by the time you return, will you be needing Mac Sir?" he asks,

"No Elliot will be on-board, and please Taylor, field everything through yourself and Ros, I'd like just one more night of peace" his voice is needful, as his eyes still hold mine,

"You got it Sir" Taylor replies, a smile evident in his voice,

"Thanks Taylor" Christian breathes and the call ends.

Christian heads straight over to me, leaning down he cups my face, "What is it?" he asks, in a desperate tone, I don't know what he is reading on my face but it's worrying him. my thoughts are jumbled, press, phones, security, a hot as hell CEO, all have my mind and body all over the place, I say the first thing that comes to mind,

"Christian, I don't need a new phone, I already have two" he chuckles softly, as he sits on the bed next to me and pulls me into his lap, "Or a car" I mumble a little dumbfounded, "I have one and a van... And what do you mean by security?" his warmth causes me to relax into him, his body is eased, knowing I think, that it's the simple things blindsiding me and not the panic of the whole situation,

"Yes you do... And from now on, you must have security with you at all times" I stare up at him, with wide, confused eyes, he kisses me softly on the brow and pushes a strand of my mad bed hair behind my ear, "Don't worry, they will be very discrete, unless you want your very own Taylor, who can be joined to you at the hip" he chuckles into my neck, as I wrap my arms around him, I know he is trying to ease me, but this is all too much.

As if reading my mind, he chuckles again, "Don't worry baby please, if it all gets too much for you, you can always just come and live with me... I'll protect you" he's teasing I know, but I see the truth of his joke in his eyes, he actually wants me to, Escala is wonderful and I do love him so much, the thought of being without him is painful but we can't rush this,

"I love you so much Christian, but isn't it a little too soon?" I virtually whisper, his eyes sadden, as he pulls me close "Can't we just take things one day at a time?" I feel him nod, he sighs deeply, as he pulls me into him,

"Yes of course... I promised you... That we would do this at your pace, I said I wouldn't rush you... But I also told you... That I wanted to, so forgive me" he chuckles softly, burying his head into my neck, "Are you sure there is nothing you want to do, nothing you want to see, no where you want to go... Before we have to go back home?" I shake my head slowly, his kisses trailing my neck, his soft voice almost whispers, "Miami maybe... Hawaii... Vegas even?"

"Will you stop... I have kept you all to myself for long enough... As much as I begrudge it, the world of mergers and acquisitions needs you back" and they do, he must have been missed so much, must have so much to do and catch up on, I'd be selfish to keep him longer. "I might come and work for you though" I tease, as his eyes light up "You're as hot as hell, in CEO mode... The way you take control... The authority you project is..." I notice his cocked eyebrow, his smirk, his hooded eyes and I feel myself burn,

"Am I now?" his voice purrs,

"Oh hell yes..." I manage to breathe, then a thought hits, much to my despair "It's going to be so weird though, being without you,"

"Tell me about it, we have not been apart in so long... I" my heart twists as his voice sounds so pained, I feel his body slump, his grip gets a little tighter, I shouldn't have mentioned anything, I feel how anxious he is, it is going to be so hard for him, going our separate ways, but we surely can't rush into this.

I sit up straighter in his lap and smile up at him, "What's The Grace" I ask to distract him, and it works, as his eyes immediately brighten,

"It's my boat" he says proudly "Would you like to spend tomorrow afternoon on board? I have already asked Elliot and he is bringing Kate" he eagerly asks, a full smile radiates from him, as if I could say no to that face,

"Oh Christian, yes please, that would be lovely... A great note to end this week on" I kiss him gratefully,

"Have you had fun?" he asks simply, even though I can see he has a thousand questions behind his eyes,

"Christian I have had an amazing time, everything has been perfect... From the very first step over the door, you have made this magical, exciting, everything we have done and shared together has been perfect... And last night was wonderful, it's the ideal note to end this on, so Thank you Christian... For everything"

"You are so so welcome baby, what we have shard this past week, I wouldn't trade for the world" and he means it too, and as first times go, it is more than special,

"And to think, I wanted to simply seduce you on a rooftop" I tease with a giggle,

"Oh don't worry, there is plenty of time for that" he teases, but I feel the tension in him and I think it's at the mention of last night, I look up at him, I notice his eyes cloud, he has a small furrow to his brow, and I know I'm right, he is thinking of Elena, and his next question confirms it.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx C

Ana is warm in my arms, I pull her close to me, needfully, I don't want this time we have together, to ever end, everything we have shared, has been priceless and I selfishly don't want to leave. It has been perfect apart from one mishap, which will never be repeated. I feel all the anger and apprehension from the encounter last night, pass through me, but with Ana safe in my arms it passes quickly, but I still need to know how she truly feels. If that spiteful woman caused her any pain, in anyway, I will personally destroy her.

Ana has said she's fine, that last night never upset her, but now in the cold harsh light of day, she must feel differently surely? I don't want to upset things by bringing her up blatantly, maybe... I know... "What did Flynn have to say last night?" I eagerly ask. I know he would have mentioned her encounter with Elena, he would of asked how she was feeling, he knows I've been totally honest with Ana, I needed him to talk to her, I asked him as much. What I've shared with Ana over the past week, would trouble the most perfect mind, he would know that, my musings are halted, as to my delighted surprise, Ana softly chuckles, her cheeks flush beautifully and her teeth claim her lip, she looks up at me, her eyes alight with humor,

"He said he was glad, I took the bitch down" I chuckle, at her embarrassed tone, why am I not surprised? John has never been Elena's biggest fan, and rightly so,

"Did he know" I tease, kissing her softly, oh thankfully... I don't think any real harm has been done, Taylor is right... She is stronger than she looks. Plus I know John, he would contact me if he was worried about her, I kiss her softly, my heart pounding, "What else did he say?"

"He also said, that I was good for you" she smiles brightly as I nod, she truly doesn't realize how much, "He said, I had brought out a change in you that was unbelievable, he said I should be proud of myself for helping you" I kiss her again, pouring all my thanks into our kiss, everything she is saying is so true, I owe her my life... She is my life.

Her soft warm lips respond to mine, I feel my bodys hardness under her soft warm thighs, she squirms enticingly in my lap, and my eyes involuntarily roll. Her soft voice in my ear, sends shivers right through me, the heat I feel when I hold her, causes me to roll us both onto the bed, "And I am Christian... So proud" with a groan my mouth covers hers, Oh what this woman has done to me.

I don't want to leave here, I would gladly sell everything I own, at this very moment and never set foot outside again, as our lips slow down, I pull away and rest my head, on her soft brow "I love you so much Ana" I whisper, her hand cups my face, her soft thumb caresses my cheek, her eyes shine bright in confirmation, and her words pull at every part of me,

"I love you too Christian... With all my heart" my lips crash to hers, I pull her close and urgently kiss every part of her face, she giggles softly as her hands run down my back, a loud knock at the door causes us both to freeze, NO WAY am I answering that door,

"Ignore it" I breath desperately,

"You need to get that" Ana whispers against my lips "I think that's our breakfast, I rang down while you spoke to Taylor" as I look down at her she bites her lip with a giggle and I laugh softly, shaking my head in amazement, how she knows me so well already, as food is the only thing I would stop for.

As we eat our breakfast, we are both silently looking through the morning papers, they are all full of candid mobile shots, as well as official press photos from last night, Ana looks beautiful, we look so good together. My heart pounds when I think of it, but in some of the photo's, with me in my black tux and her in her beautiful ivory flowing gown, our pictures almost look like wedding shots, I glance up as I feel my cheeks flush, oh if only...

Ana smiles brightly at me and every now and again, she points out photos to me, snapshots of our night, our family our friends, I chuckle as Ana laughs, she is pointing to a small photo of Mia asleep on the table, she will not be happy. My brow furrows as I turn the page of the paper I have and come face to face with Patricia and her beau Dr Benson, Ana 'oohs' and leans over the table to get a better look, "She looks so pretty in that photo" Ana gushes, a quick frown passes her brow before her smile returns, oh what thought upset her?

"I can't believe you brought Patricia over to me" I say hoping she will confide her worry,

"The champagne helped" she teases with a giggle, I smile but I know it hasn't reached my eyes, I need to know...

"Ana didn't it hurt you seeing us together, knowing what she was?" how could it not, if our roles were reversed, I would probably be up on an assault charge by now,

"No it doesn't hurt, I'm a little jealous of course... But I don't feel at all threatened by her, or any of them" I feel my brow furrow, still not fully understanding her feelings but as she continues It starts to become clear, "Christian, after spending all this time with you, after talking to her... I know they were just a pass time for you, they never touched you... You didn't touch them... Not in the same way you touch me... It never meant as much with them as it does with me... It was empty, emotionless and that's why I feel sorry for her... For all of them... She has this image of you, that is tainted... She doesn't know the real you, the true wonderful loving man, that you are inside... Her memories of you are of pain and sadness, I don't want her to remember you like that... She is happy now, but she loved you once... You could have been happy with her... But you never gave yourself a chance"

I shake my head adamantly, she is right in part about them being so different from herself, but she's wrong in the fact I could ever have felt anything, I have never felt anything.

"Ana my longest Sub relationship lasted for over two years and still I never felt anything... I didn't want any more from her, I never wanted anything from anyone until I met you, believe me, please baby" her eyes water slightly as she kisses me,

"See this is why I know I have no need to feel threatened by them... But it was more than that Christian, you weren't given the chance to feel... Elena always interfered, kept you cold and distant" I shake my head slowly, but Ana nods gently, my mind spins "Elena told Trish and probably all the others... To tell you, that she loved you... She knew what you would do... She knew their contracts would end" I feel my face freeze, as a million and one thoughts and feelings hit me at once, why on earth would Elena do that? What Ana is saying is true, she knew I ended contracts the minute those words were spoken, but why would she? Our relationship was over, has been for years, I have not thought of Elena like that for such a long time, she knew this.

"Christian, Trish confided in Elena, about how she felt about you, Elena encourage her to tell you... Trish thinks Elena felt threatened by her and I agree with her... So Elena had to get rid of her, Christian Elena has been controlling you all along, without you even realizing it... She is worse than we ever thought... You could have been so happy, but she held you back, for all these years... Deprived you of the best thing you could give, your love... Because your full of it Christian... Full to the brim, for me, for your family, your friends... You even love Gail and Taylor but don't worry I will never tell" she winks trying to lighten things, and I feel like my heart is going to explode, I push back my chair and she eagerly runs round the table into my lap.

I pull her close and cover her with kisses "Thank you, for freeing me baby, for falling into my life, for changing my life"

"You are so welcome Christian I would have been lost without you" her arms hold me close, and the feeling washes all my doubt all my hurt clean away.

After a few minutes of just holding each other, each lost in our own thoughts, I reluctantly ask the dreaded question, "So after our boat trip tomorrow, are we both going to head home?" I don't want to but...

"I think it's best, don't you? You're such a busy man and I..." her voice falters as she catches my eye, I'm hiding my disappointment as best I can, but I don't think she's fooled, I smile as I notice a familiar look in her eye,

"Well if this is our last night here, what do you want to do? Should we go downstairs and entertain the locals some more or..." I'm teasing obviously, it's written all over her what she really wants to do, and I'm trying so hard, to not let my body give me away, to the fact that my thoughts are in line with hers,

"No Christian, I want to just stay here in bed, be close to you, have loads of... as it's our last night" her face burns, her eyes lower along with her voice, "Could we play some more" I barely hear her, but her words cause every nerve, every cell in my body to react to her and I chuckle softly, what have I created? I joyously ponder, Oh she amazes me at every turn,

"Of course, baby... It would only be right... It would be a shame to not use this bed, to it's full potential" I whisper into her neck, I feel her shudder in my arms and her breathing deepens, her eyes turn darker and my cock swells in seconds, she giggles as I place my arms underneath her, stand and nearly run into the bedroom.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A

As I feel every touch, every breath, on every sensitive spot I have, my body screams, I tingle from head to toe. Once again the curtain tie backs heighten our fun, with the same principle as last time, my hands are threaded and twisted, the minute I let go I'm free, but this time, only my arms are tied, they are above me stretched high, the tie backs are looped over, the overhead canopy side rails.

I'm on my knees, kneeing tall, with my arms stretched, my knees apart, I feel totally exposed, totally open and I feel him all over me, the blind fold heightening every touch, every kiss, every soft blow of air, that he caresses every inch of me with.

As I near my second orgasm, I feel him shift behind me, as his hand trails down my chest, his palm flattens against my stomach, I feel his knees come between mine, as he pushes mine further apart, they lift from the bed, and rest on his. As he kisses my neck, his arms wrap around me, his hands caressing, squeezing, mauling, his hips shift forward and I feel him rock hard between by cheeks, I moan as his fingers slid inside me from the front.

As he shifts me backwards, my back arches, I feel him position himself underneath me, and I shamelessly tilt my hips backwards to meet him, he chuckles softly into my ear, as he circles himself around me, easeing, teasing, his way in. As his body slowly, deeply, fills me, every inch I take brings my body to life, my moan of pure fulfillment deepens with every inch of him, I hear Christian's moan, equal mine in my ear, as I feel him start to move.

As he rocks me, his movements are slow and deep, his hands maul my chest, my neck, under my arm, the sides of my breasts, all my heightend sensitive spots and I really need him to move, "Faster... Please... Christian" I beg with each moan,

"Oh Ana" I hear him gasp, as his knees shift my legs are pushed wider apart, my knees now touching the bed, and as he kneels behind me he starts to move and with each thrust he edges deeper, I feel my insides start to throb, and I need to stop rocking. I loosen my arms and fall forward onto all fours, my elbow supporting my weight, my arse is in the air, as I feel his strong hands grip my hips, my body start to quicker.

With every movement I climb I feel myself building and "Oh faster... Please baby please" I plead, the groan that leaves him, causes my first internal tremor, it is so carnal, so guttural, so mine, I feel it and need it, "Faster Christian... Oh my fucking good God" as he slams into me, I lock my shape and feel every powerful thrust, as my orgasm rips right through me.

I feel his cock start to buck internally, and I know he's right there with me "Oh Christian" I mumble "Oh Ana, Ana, Ana," he pants as he poundes me to the bone, I feel his internal explosion as I throb around him, as my body starts to bow, his hand leaves my hip and I feel a sharp slap on my right cheek and "Oh My Fuckin Good God" I scream, as my orgasm rebounds right through me.

I feel Christian pull out of me and as he does I fall flat onto the bed, "Every... Every... Time" I gasp out between deep breaths, Christian follows me onto the bed covering me with his body, supporting his weight on his elbows, he pushes off the blind fold,

"What is it baby?" he asks with a chuckle,

"Every time... Gets better than the last... How on earth is that even possible..." my astonished voice asks,

"Oh baby... You ain't seen... Felt... Heard or enjoyd anything yet... Just wait till I get you home" his husky voice vibrates through my ear,

"Oh my..." is the only reply I can manage.


	35. 35 Setting Sail

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A

After quickly brushing my teeth, I pack away the last of my toiletries into my wash bag, glancing into the mirror, my eyes widen as I notice the candles, that Christian placed around the bath behind me, are still sitting on the small shelf, I smile to myself as I think of the memories this room now holds and I feel more than a little sad, that our time here has come to an end.

We have to leave... We have to leave... I repeat to myself hoping it will make me feel a little bit better... But it doesn't. I know it was my idea, my decision for us to head home, but now that the time has finally come for us to leave, I could kick myself... Because I really don't want to go.

Heading over to the bath, I pick up all the used candles, Barr one and I throw them in the nearby bin, I pick up and place the lone candle in my wash bag, and sigh heavily, the smell of jasmine will always remind me of Christian and the time we have shared here, I chuckle softly so myself, as if I would even need the reminder, this past week will be engrained in my memory forever.

After quickly tieing up my hair, I pick up my bag and head out into the bedroom, Christian is sitting on the bed waiting for me, his bags are packed and set down by the door, waiting to be joined by mine, the bell boy is on his way up and Taylor will be here soon to drive us to the marina, so our time is definitely up,

"Do you have everything?" Christian asks, in a quiet voice as I walk into the room, his eyes are almost as sad as mine, it's clear, he too is having reservation about leaving, and for him it must be some much worse, at least I have Kate at home, he will be rattling around that huge apartment all by himself, He extends a hand to me, which I readily take and he pulls me swiftly onto his lap,

"Yes, I think so" I reply with a nod and a small smile,

"Don't look so sad" he whispers, brushing a stray hair from my ponytail behind my ear, I lean my cheek into his palm,

"I can't help it, I don't want to go now" my voice is low, I can feel the regretful tears well up in my eyes,

"Me neither" he whispers with a deep sigh, his arms holding me tightly, this is going to be so hard for him, "Hey baby... Don't cry... Please" he desperately pleads, as he catches a stray tear that falls down my cheek with his thumb,

"Christian, all we've shared, all we have done, all we have discovered and discussed... Will be forever trapped between these four walls... I don't want to let that go, maybe we could come back here again sometime" I offer up hopefully, I need something to cling to, I think,

"Baby... We can come back here, anytime you'd like" his voice softly cajoles, he leans down to me and kisses my free falling tears away, "I could buy the hotel... We could convert this entire floor and never leave" he says with a smirk, but I notice the hope in his gorgeous gray eyes,

"Your crazy, you know that... You definitely have more money than sense" I giggle with an undignified sniff, then I can't help chuckling "Do you think they would notice... If their curtain tie backs went missing" I ask, looking up at him, my teeth hold my bottom lip and I see the look in his eyes change, the hunger from last night is back and I feel myself shift in his lap, I absent mindedly rub my right cheek, oh last night was fun, I feel the flush hit my cheeks,

"Are you hurting? Did I get too carried away?" his voice anxiously asks, his eyes wide, eager for reassurance, I shake my head,

"No... No, it was a shock though... But thinking back... You like to smack my butt a lot" my brow furrows, as I smile,

"Oh Ana, you have no idea, I would love to spank you" his confession surprises me, but his face is glowing, his eyes are bright,

"What... Like I'm some naughty child" I ask wide eyed, confused as to why he would find hurting me, such a turn on,

"Oh no baby... Forget punishment spanking, it would be for your pleasure only" he drools, he chuckles softly reading my expression, how on earth, can he make something that feels so wrong, sound so good? I feel myself flush as my insides twist, he laughs softly, "Trust me Ana... I would never hurt you... Ever" he pulls me close to him and my arms tighten around him, I lean in, comforted by the sound of his steady heartbeat in my ear,

"I do trust you Christian" I say honestly, as I nod against his chest, I hear his heartbeat spike.

As his lips press urgently to my head, they linger as I feel him inhale deeply and I know his eyes are closed, like me, he is trying to cling to every last bit of our time together, committing every smell, every touch and every emotion he feels, to memory.

Safe and warm in Christian's arms, I allow my mind to wander back over, this last week we have shared together, locked away in our hotel room, I smile at the thought, we have discovered so much about ourselves, about each other. The man that walked into this hotel room a week ago, is not the same man that is leaving, he has changed so much, he's calmer, more at ease with himself and his family, he sees things with a new perspective and I love him so much because of it, but most of all... I love him for trusting me, for letting me in.

Regarding myself, I am certainly not the same person I was, in a single week, I have learnt to love, to truly open up and give myself to someone else, and I don't just mean physically, I smile to myself, even though that was a wonderful part of our week, and I am so glad that I waited, waited for him. The man I have found under all the baggage, all the self hatred, all the doubts and fears, all the pain, is my other half, my soul mate as he puts it and I believe him, I would be lost without him now.

But like all good things, it's finally over, reality here we come, and it's not a very happy thought. We both slowly pull away from each other and look deep into each others eyes, sadness evident on both our faces... As we hear the loud knock on the door.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx C

"Good afternoon Miss Steele, Mr Grey" Taylor politely greets, as he opens the car door,

"Hi Taylor" Ana beams, God she looks so beautiful, even in just jeans and a T, she looks amazing,

"Did you enjoy your stay Miss Steele?" Taylor asks with a smirk, Ana's cheeks flush slightly and a knowing twinkly hits her eyes,

"I did Thank you Taylor, it was perfect" she proudly announces looking at me, I smile down at her, my returning smile filled with confirmation, it truly was... Perfect in every way.

As Taylor loads our bags into the trunk, I help Ana into the back of the SUV, once she is settled, I close her door behind her, and quickly turn to Taylor,

"How are things? Is everything arranged? How have things been with the press?" I demand, needing some confirmation of the basics, at least,

"Everything is fine Sir, no problems, by the time you arrive back at the marina this evening, Miss Steele's phone, car and protection will be waiting, and the press are well... The press" Taylor's eyes roll in frustration, "I thought it best to pick you both up from the seclusion of the underground car park, as the place is crawling with them" I nod with a glum expression, as worry seeps in, the press can be like a pack of hungry dogs with a carcass, if you're not careful, a dreaded shiver runs through me, I don't want Ana to ever have to face that, to be a part of that,

"Don't worry Sir, everything is fine" I look up at Taylor, as I hear the reassurance in his voice, my inner worries obviously written all over my face, "I dropped this vehicle off yesterday Sir... They won't notice it leaving, I parked it overnight in a visitor bay, not a reserved guest slot, so it won't draw any attention" his confidence is more than comforting, I feel myself nod, a small smile of gratitude plays on my lips,

"Thank you Taylor... Who did you arrange for Ana's personal detail?" I ask, I trust Taylor completely, he will have chosen accordingly, he realizes how important this is... Well he better had,

"I have, his name is Luke Sawyer Sir" Taylor states proudly, "He is an ex-Marine buddy of mine, we served together for a time" I notice the fleeting shadow of a memory cloud his eyes, before his shoulders square and his confident voice continues, "He has advised and overseen security at the pentagon for the last three years. He also has experience with personal protection, he used to teach self defense to assault victims for the police and the FBI, so can handle himself, without the use of weapons Sir" he stresses his point, and I can't help my smile, I'm thankful that Taylor has considered my hatred of firearms, I don't like security carrying them unless it's absolutely necessary, Taylor is the only exception,

"His background check is clear, he holds all, up to date licenses, but above all Sir" Taylors voice stops, I notice he casts a swift glance to the car, before he holds my eye "I know him Sir, I trust him, and I feel safe in the knowledge that Miss Steele, WILL be well protected when we are not around" His confidence is reassuring and my shoulders sag in relief, and I nod happily knowing Taylor has chosen well, he certainly sounds like the perfect guy, his credentials and experience, will be of some comfort when we are apart,

"Thank you Taylor" I nod my thanks, as he opens the rear door for me, I glance around the car park, this is it, it's over, back to normality, with a heavy sigh, I reluctantly climb into the back of the car.

.

As we drive to the marina, my mind clings to what we are leaving behind, and I know with certainty that I will never, ever, be able to drive passed that hotel again, without thinking about Ana and what we both went through in that building, the changes we both went through, the people we have become.

I don't recognize myself at all, I feel so different, my mind is so much clearer and I love Ana with all my heart, for what she has done to me, for the man she has turned me into. I am finally a man my mother and family can be proud of, I am a man even I, can feel proud to be.

Taking Ana's hand I squeeze gently, she looks up at me with her consuming blue eyes and I feel my heart flip, every time she looks at me, I see the love in her eyes and she pulls me deeply from within. What I feel when I hold her, when I kiss her, is as overwhelming today, as it was a week ago and I hope with everything that I am, that we won't lose that... Now that our bubble has burst.

Arriving at the marina my mood lifts as I spot The Grace on the water, my cheeks stretch wide, as my chest swells, I still get a huge sense of pride and accomplishment every time I see her, to know what we went through, to get her, designed, built and sea worthy, makes it all worth while, once your free on the open water. I point her out to Ana,

"There's The Grace... The one on the end" I don't want to say the biggest one, but well she is, I smile proudly, as Ana's jaw drops, her eyes turn to mine full of wonder,

"Wow... Christian... She's beautiful" her voice whispers,

"Yes she is, isn't she, come on let's get on board" I kiss her quickly and taking her hand, we exit the car.

As we near the boat, Ana's footsteps slow down, "Christian she's amazing" her eyes are scanning from left to right, as she takes her all in, I nod in agreement, she is a magnificent boat, even if I say so myself,

I chuckle "Come on" I take her hand and we head for the end of the dock, Taylor close behind us, I am eager to get on board, Elliot and Kate, will be here any minute so our quiet time is measured.

As we reach the boat, Taylor's voice halts my eager feet, "Gail has prepared lunch Sir, and the wine cooler has been filled, is there anything else you will need before you set sail?" I turn to face him,

"No Thanks Taylor everything is perfect, we should be back just after sunset"

"Very good Sir, enjoy your afternoon Sir, Miss Steele"

"Yeah Thanks... Taylor" Ana mumbles automatically, her eyes are still transfixed to The Grace,

Taylor and I share a smile, as he nods goodbye, he quickly turns on his heel and heads back to the car.

Taking Ana's hand, I lead her to the boarding ramp, giggling bright eyed, she scoots up quickly, eager to explore, "May I?" she asks, gesturing to the boat,

"Of course, look around, make yourself at home" my smile widens at her enthusiasm, I do hope she likes it, "I'll use the time to get a few things ready, it will save time setting sail, once Elliot and Kate are here we can go" she nods as she heads off around the boat, her eyes everywhere.

As I busy myself with preparations my mind ponders, I hope she has good sea legs, I have high hopes of us spending a lot of time on this boat, enjoying the seclusion of the deep blue sea, I smile, as I see Ana head down into the heart of the boat, I wonder if I have time to show her the master cabin...

I guess not... I chuckle, as I hear a voice bellow from the dock behind me "Ahoy there Captain Flash" I laugh rolling my eyes, as my annoying brother yells again "Permission to climb aboard your very large vessel" I hear Kate giggle,

Ana surfaces "Hi Kate" she shouts, waving excitedly, her face is alive she looks so happy, yes... I knew this would be a good idea.

"Get your arse up here Elliot, so we can get the hell out of here"

"Aye aye captain" Elliot teases with a mock salute.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A

As we leave the safety of the harbor and head out to open sea, Kate and I sit together, watching the men we both love in total amazement, you can certainly tell they have done this many times, by the way they act like a team, shouting mad words to each other that I don't understand, pulling, tieing off all sorts of ropes, cranking winches and running all over the place, but once those sails are up and the wind catches, I can clearly understand what all the fuss is about.

As I scan the horizon watching land disappear, I feel the thrill of the isolation, the anticipation of the unknown, and I love it, now I understand his love for this. I suddenly feel Kate nudge my side to get my attention, I turn to see her face split with laughter,

"What?" I ask, trying hard not to copy her contagious laugher,

"Look Ana" she points ahead of her, as I turn my mouth drops open, as I'm hit by the master sail, proud in the wind, blatantly screaming out the colour, of his playroom walls, I chuckle wide eyed,

"It's the same colour we have at home" Kate points out, as if I would need reminding, I just nod, not trusting myself to speak,

"Wow, you two were connected before you even met" she laughs shaking her head,

"I know" I say totally flabbergasted.

As the boat is blown along, at God only knows what speed, the feeling is exhilarating, I can't help my stupid full blown grin, as I feel the wind rush over me, I stand and head to the railing and eagerly face the wind. I catch Christian's eye, as he heads my way and his face is radiant, I have never seen him look so happy. He takes my hand as he passes and pulls me with him till we reach the helm of the boat, placing my hands on the wheel, he covers them with his and steers us in the right direction, I can't help my excited scream over the wind,

"Christian... I love this... This is wonderful... Promise me, we can do this every weekend" I see the jubilation on his face and feel the excitement in his kiss,

"You got it baby... Nothing would make me happier, but you'd have to learn how to sail, I can't do this alone and if I was here with you, I wouldn't want company" he nuzzles into my neck but his eyes still hold the horizon,

"Oh most definitely, I will enroll myself in classes tomorrow" he laughs, one arm leaves the wheel to hug me tightly, he thinks I'm kidding, "Nice sail by the way" I smirk, he laughs loudly, both arms now circling my waist,

"Don't let go" I squeal, as my hands alone, now control the boat, he giggles in my ear, "You will be fine baby, there is nothing you can hit... We will stop soon anyway, I just wanted to get us out far enough for privacy" I bite my lip at the thought and push back into him grinding myself a little into him, he groans in my ear, pulling me tightly into him, his nose trails up my neck and I feel my body bow, his warm hands start to move,

"Will you two stop... We are here you know" Elliot shouts over the wind behind us, shit... I had completely forgotten, about Kate and Elliot, I hear Christian's chuckle in my ear, "I forgot about those two" he whispers, pulling his hands out from under my T-shirt,

"Me too" I giggle, I turn to face him, and kiss him quickly, before I duck out from under his arms.

"Sorry" I mumble feeling embarrassed as hell, Elliot just laughs sharing a look with Kate, and I think were both forgiven.

.

About fifteen minutes later, Christian and Elliot get busy again, lowering the sails, tieing them away. As the boat comes to rest and settles on the water, all is quiet and it's magnificent. The vastness and stillness of the open water, is breathtaking, if not a little bit scary, but with the sun beaming down, the warm gentle breeze, the seclusion of the ocean is an amazing feeling. Christian heads over, his face alive, he cups my face in his palms and kisses me, a slow deep kiss that makes this all so perfect,

"Come on, let's eat" his words vibrate through my lips, as he steps away, he glances at our once again, forgotten audience. Oh I wish I could sail...

As we all sit around the table, enjoying Mrs Jone's, fabulous lunch, drinking what has to be a very expensive wine, the banter flows freely, Elliot and Christian, are teasing trying to out do each other, regaling tales and adventures aboard this boat or any other boat over the years, my mind wanders a tad and I tune out for a Sec.

They must have shared a lot over the years growing up, family holidays and such, but somehow I think this time, it's different, as my consciousness returns, I giggle, at the sight before me, there wrestling for a start, and I burst out laughing, as Christian has Elliot in a headlock at the table "What are you two doing?" I ask, Kate rolls her eyes,

"Will you never grow up?" she laughs, ruffling Elliot's hair,

"Sorry" they both mumble, pulling apart, looking sheepish,

I laugh loudly "When did I become you Mother?" I state, surprised by their quick separation, Elliot laughs, I notice Christian's eyes look a tad shocked, crap... But then he relaxes,

"You are not my Mother... It's just not polite to fight at the dinner table" he states in an amused tone and the two of them, just burst out laughing, sharing a private joke, but it's plain to see, I guess Grace has had to chastise them a lot, when they were kids, especially if Christian's past is as accurate, as I think it is,

"It's amazing how things can change, in so little time" I mumble to Kate, the two boys, men doesn't seem fitting, are still chuckling, talking between themselves,

"You're not kidding Ana, this here is Christian Fricking Grey" she stares at Christian, totally bemused, "I keep having to pinch myself, to prove that it's really him" she leans into me, "Where is the closed off tyrant, who tolerates no one?" I shake my head, as Christian glances over, probably at our whispering and Kate just has to speak,

"So, are you heading back at work tomorrow Christian?" Kate asks innocently, but I see it, the look of pain that flashes and freezes Christians face, at the thought of us being apart, slaps me in the face, and I could strangle her. She glances to me looking a little worried, I feel so bad for him, he can't hide it, everyone can see it and an awkward silence falls, until the wonderful joy, that is Elliot saves him,

"Of course he is... He has to make another mill, don't you bro?" Elliot teases and Christian pulls his eyes from Kate's and chuckles relieved, "But you do owe me a hundred bucks" he states, as Christians eyebrows rise, "I bet Mia, that you would both never leave the hotel"

"We didn't want to" Christian and I say, both at the same time and the laughter rolls,

"We couldn't have stayed there forever" I offer up, no matter how nice a thought,

"Why not?" Christian mumbles, and his sad words hang in the air, Elliot rolls his eyes shaking his head, I feel myself flush, as Kate smiles at him sympathetically, Oh Christian, what have I done to you? I lean across the table and kiss him softly and his smile slowly returns.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx E

I can see it, I can feel it, he is totally nuts about her. I have never seen him like this, not even for a second and now here he is, a week later, still with the same loved up puppy dog eyes and stupid grin to his face. He's gonna hate me but I've gotta have some fun.

"So tell me Christian, what's all this I hear about you wanting to go to Vegas? I never realized the slots appealed to you" I can't help my wink at Ana, I chuckle as I notice Kate splutter her wine, as she cringes, I turn to Christian as his face darkens and he stands abruptly,

"Could you please help me with a problem I have been having with the engine Elliot" he snaps, as he throws his napkin onto the table he turns and storms inside,

"Sure thing bro" I call after him, I stand and tip toe after him dramatically, like the evil bad guy in a movie, twirling his mustache, Kate laughs openly, Ana giggles but she still looks totally confused.

As we go below, Christian turns to me before we are even anywhere near machinery "What's going on Christian?" I ask, before he can even start to have a go,

"Nothing" he mumbles, trying to hide his embarrassment, the anger in him, no where to be seen now,

"Like hell nothing... You wanted to marry her didn't you?" I question, his eyes shoot up to mine, and it's there all over his face, "I can't believe you, after the first night you spent together, you wanted to fly her off and put a ring on her finger, you did didn't you?" I have never seen my brother blush and God, I wish I had a camera,

"Yes" he barely whispers,

"Christian, you don't do things by halfs do you?" I say, with a smile shacking my head, God I feel for him, it's all so new to him, but he's gonna blow it,

"I love her Elliot" he softly says and I sigh heavily, I rub his shoulder comfortingly, he smiles as his blush recedes,

"I know you do Christian... You don't have to explain to me... I can see it... I know what she has done to you, I understand why you would want her so badly... But don't rush her Christian" his eyes sadden, does he honestly think he can't keep her unless he puts a ring on her finger, oh boy... "She isn't going anywhere, trust me bro" If he could only see what the rest of us see, he wouldn't doubt her for a second, she is worse than him,

"I need her Elliot" his voice almost begs,

"I know you do and she is totally yours, anyone can see that... Don't doubt that Christian She loves you" I state firmly,

"Do you really think so?" he asks hopefully, nothing ever changes, he's still doubting himself,

"Christian, she loves you trust me, you would be blind not to see it, plus I have a running commentary from Kate, about how Ana has fallen for you so believe me bro, and the way she protected you from Elena..." I see his eyes harden and he stands tall, the shutters slam down and the fight or flight instinct I recognize in him from our younger years, takes over him... Oh Crap... Maybe now isn't the time?... No... I need to talk to him, tell him, and it's now or never,

"Christian, come and sit for a second, I really need to talk to you".


	36. 36 Confessions At Sea

A/N THANK YOU ALL ONCE AGAIN, FOR TAKING TIME OUT TO READ THIS, AND OF COURSE, FOR ALL YOUR WONDERFUL REVIEWS,

YOUR LOYALTY MAKES THIS SO WORTH WHILE.;))))

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx C

As Elliot gestures to the nearby sofa, I reluctantly sit down, as Elliot sits down next to me, an ominous silence enfolds us. I can't help but just stare at him as my mind races, it's plain to see that he is reluctant to talk, which can't be a good thing as that isn't Elliot, nothing fazes him. My heart sinks, as I truly dread to think what he could possibly have to say.

He couldn't possibly know about Elena and I, he wouldn't have been able to keep something like that to himself for all these years surely, but there is definitely something troubling him, his worried eyes prove that fact.

Elliot's eyes suddenly meet mine, his demeanor changes, he sit's up a little taller, obviously preparing himself for what ever, he has to tell me and I feel my apprehension rise.

"Christian... I need to talk to you... About what happened at the benefit" his eyes hold mine as he seeks permission, I nod slowly as Elliot's quiet voice fills the cabin,

"I saw what happened with Ana and Elena the other night, I knew instantly that Ana didn't like her and I couldn't understand why... They had only just met... But after talking to Kate... I now have a fare idea" his voices lowers, Oh Fuck No... It's as bad as it can get, I sigh heavily, resigned to the fact that once again, my Fucked up past needs facing and explaining,

"Kate only got a rough idea of what went on between them, because she only heard the end of the conversation but... Well... After reading between the lines, I think I know... So I need to ask you something... But before I do... I have a confession to make" he looks at me, his eyes regretful,

"What is it?" I whisper, My voice barely reaching my own ears, Elliot takes a deep breath before speaking, from experience I know this is a very bad sign,

"Remember that time when we were kids, and Dad made you rake up all the leaves in the back yard for punishment, I can't remember why now, as you were always in trouble, but anyway, every time you turned around, the leaves were strewn all over the place again" I nod, as I vaguely recall the time he is talking about, but I can't help my confusion as to why he needs a trip down memory lane,

"Why are you mentioning this now Elliot? What could this possibly have to do with Ana and..." Elliot's voice interrupts me,

"Just listen Christian please" Elliot urgently asks, this is obviously hard for him to talk about, I nod slowly, reluctantly holding my tongue,

"Me and a few of the guys came home after soccer practice and saw you working your arse off in the yard, and well, we thought it would be funny to make you sweat, so every time you turned a corner, we would all run out and scatter the leaves again, well I don't know if you remember, but Elena came to visit Mom that day and as she drove up the drive, she saw us hiding, saw us laughing, I remember she pulled up outside the house and spoke to you"

"I remember" I mutter in confirmation, and I do, but I don't remember Elena mentioning Elliot, I remember she asked why I was being punished again and lectured me on how I should have more consideration for my parents, and try to stay out of trouble. It was years later that our relationship started, where I would hear the same lecture many times and face the consequences of not listening to her, but before that, at such young age, I didn't give a toss. I was always in trouble, even I can't remember now, what I had done to upset Dad that day, Elliot's hushed voice, brings me back,

"Later on, when I tried to sneak in the house, Elena caught me, she grabbed me by my shirt collar and frog marched me down to the boat house, reprimanding me the whole time, on how I shouldn't antagonize you and how I should show more respect to my parents, well long story short, once we were in the boathouse, she threw me over her knee, pulled down my shorts and tanned my backside" his voice trails off, my eyes widen and a feeling of revulsion sweeps over me, oh no...

"No... Why..." I try to speak but Elliot ignores my whispered voice,

"I remember feeling so embarrassed and shocked... I just froze until she had finished, I remember she even made me count, she..."

"How many times" I whisper, the anxiety evident in my voice,

"Does it matter?" Elliot chuckles, but his cheeks are flushed with his embarrassment,

"Yes... It does" I mumble, dreading that Elliot will confirm my worst fears.

Elena had a system, Eight spanks was enough to cause pain, but not enough for her harsh hand prints to last more than a few hours, but most importantly, anything less than eight strikes and Elena wasn't sexually satisfied, I close my eyes tightly as I wait for Elliot to answer,

"I had to count to eight" he states quietly, my head falls into my open hands, as my knees support my elbows and I feel physically sick. She got off on it, I can't believe she would do that to him, me I can understand, I deserved it but... Elliot...

I remember asking her once, if there had been others before me... She made me think I was the only one she had ever... She told me she was drawn to me, that we both shared the same dark soul... That we needed each other... She... I remember she beat me harshly for asking.

I'm going to destroy her... I'm going to... I breath deeply drawing on all my strength not to just smash up everything around me,

"I remember I was frightened at the time... She was so cold, so angry, I have never seen her like that before or since, but as young as I was... I... I knew she got off on it... I could tell... She..." I see Elliot shakes his head and smirk, "She said I'd get worse from Dad if I told, and that Mom would be hurt to find out I had been tormenting you, and I knew she was right... So I kept quiet" his voice is laced with shame, but I can't comfort him, I don't trust myself to speak, or move,

"I avoided her for a while, then as I grew I let it go, as I was big enough for her never to be able to do it to me again... But... I was glad when she took you under her wing, she kept you busy, out of trouble, Mom was so relieved... I never thought for a single second that she would be able to hit you... You were so adamant about not being touched, you were so strong so... But after what Kate heard Ana say, I just knew... Christian, if I had of known I would have..." he turns to face me and I look up at him, "So I have to ask you Christian... Did Elena hurt you too?" his eyes question sympathetically, and I know I can't lie, after what he has just shared with me, after all these years, how could I not be truthful too, I feel my anger fall away as she shame takes over,

"Yes, she did" My remorseful voice whispers,

"Often?" his worried voice asks,

"Yes... Every time I got into trouble" I confess,

"How long did it go on for?" he asks,

"Six years" I whisper, as Elliots eyes nearly pop out of his head,

"Fuck Christian... How... Did it turn into a relationship?" I huff to myself, relationship... If you can call it that, I simply nod "Did you have sex with her? I know she got turned on when..." Elliot asks,

"Yes" my voice drips shame as my eyes lower, how can I look him in the eye? He must think I'm pathetic, but to my surprise Elliot chuckles,

"And there was me trying to fix you up with everybody I could, and all along you were getting it more than me, Christ, up until Ana I thought you were gay" he laughs softly, I know he is trying to lighten things but behind his eyes I see the hurt and worry,

"How old were you when she first initiated sex?" his curious voice asks, the one and only question I don't want to answer, just like with Ana, the minute he knows, everything will change, the humor will vanish and revulsion will take over,

"Fifteen" I regretfully mumble,

"Shit Christian... We need to talk to Mom" Elliot states in a shocked voice,

"No" I almost yell, shaking my head vigorously "She can never know... She would..."

"Christian we have to tell her, do you know how many of Mom's friends have kids, Elena visits Mom at the hospital all the time, the kids... She needs to be stopped or at the very least, Mom has to stay away from her"

"I can't Elliot... Mom will hate me... I will repulse her... She will..." my desperate voice pleads,

"Christian, none of this is your fault, Mom won't hate you for a second... God, I can't believe you went through all of this, why did you not tell anyone?" he asks compassionately,

"I believed I deserved all the pain, all the beatings... I was so angry, and I knew I was no good... I thought it helped me" I try and justify, but his eyes sadden, as he shakes his head "You know it helped me Elliot, I stayed focused, worked hard, succeeded... But now, after talking to Ana, I realize the price I have paid for that, how it has cost me my family, how closed off I have become, Elena turned me into someone I know now, that I never wanted to be, Ana has shown me how wrong it was... I never thought it was wrong, inappropriate maybe with her being Mom's friend, but never abuse like I now know, I was young, horney, needed the outlet and she never touched me any more that she had to... So... I'm sorry Elliot"

"Fuck Christian, what are you apologizing for, it wasn't your fault, you were only fifteen for fuck's sake, full of hormones led by your dick, like any boy that age, but she knew better" his voice is laced with hate, "We will both talk to Mom, it will be okay"

"Ell..." I can feel the horror on my face, I don't know if I can,

"Christian, we have to" his voice is forceful, I nod knowing he has spoken the truth, but what will my Mother think of me? Will she turn from me like I always feared? "Mom wants to meet for dinner one evening this week, we will talk to her then, okay?" I nod as my body sags, Elliot throws his arm over my shoulders, "It will be fine Chrisitan, Mom will understand, trust me" he stands abruptly, eased I think with clearing his head, and talking through all of this, where as my head is now all over the place,

"Come on, the girls will be wondering where we are" he smiles, I had almost forgotten where we are this has been so stressful, but the thought of seeing Ana makes me relax and smile,

"I'm sorry for the Vegas dig" he offers up and I chuckle as my earlier embarrassment creeps back,

"Don't say anything to her, please" I feel my cheeks burn, as Elliot laughs,

"I won't, but honestly Chrisitan, you don't have to worry about Ana, she loves you, I don't know why you're so worried or even have cause to doubt her" he shakes his head bewildered, I sigh heavily,

"When we were safe in the hotel I knew for sure, she was mine, that she wanted to be with me... But now anyone could take her from me... I'm scared she will see how fucked up and stressful my life can be, how boring I really am" I confess my hidden fears, Elliot chuckles,

"Oh Christian, things will work out, and if she hadn't left you after hearing all of this shit, then she isn't going to, but don't rush her, that will scare her away" he teases,

"Okay, no more talk of Vegas" I chuckle, finally feeling calm enough to stand,

"I love you bro" Elliot's low voice comforts, as he pulls me into a hug, my arms wrap around him tightly,

"I love you to lelliot".

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx K

As the guys reappear back on deck, Ana and I stop our chit-chat, scanning the pair of them, I notice they both seem to be in one piece, so thankfully, it never turned violent while they were out of sight. I smile as Elliot sits next to me, he takes my hand and squeezes gently. I can't believe Elliot tried to push Christian's buttons, but thankfully Ana is still none the wiser, Christian definitely knew what Elliot was getting at though, I can't wait to talk to Elliot, to find out what Christian said, I hope he didn't shout too much. I hide my chuckle.

As Christian sits down opposite me next to Ana, he cups her face in both his palms and leans in and kisses her long and hard, after their kiss, he rests his brow on hers and whispers "I love you" and I can't help my grin, God anyone would think he hadn't seen her for a month. Ana's brow furrows as she looks up at him, and a million silent words pass between them, what on earth has gone on? But whatever it is, Ana's proximity calms him.

As Christian sits upright, he takes the wine from the cooler and refills our glasses, I can't help notice he has a little stress lingering around his eyes, but on the whole he seems pretty calm. He can't hold too much ill will towards Elliot for his teasing, but somehow I think that's the least of his worries.

"So what are you two going to do about all the unwanted press attention?" I ask to start up a conversation, "You do both realize, that you have been on the TV more than the Kardashian's over the last twenty four hours" Christian grins as Ana cringes, I knew she would freak with all the attention,

"From this evening Ana will have her own security" Christian states matter of fact,

"What?" Ana gasps, spluttering her wine,

"I told you baby, things would have to change" Christian consoles, but I see the horror on Ana's shocked face, there is no way she is going to be happy being followed about,

"All the publicity will be good for work" I teases trying to lighten things,

"I never thought of that" Ana beams, as Christian gasps,

"No Ana, you couldn't possible use the media circus to promote work, you will have every one from here to Washington, hireing you just to pumping you for information about us, or worse you could walk right into a kidnap situation, but if you want to keep busy, you can paint everyone of my offices like Elliot suggested" Christian offers hopefully,

"Well that would get boring really quickly" Ana mumbles, I can tell she is gutted,

"Well then, maybe Elliot could use you on his construction sites" I notice Christian, glance at Elliot for confirmation, Elliot nods eagerly, trying to calm the anxiety rippling off Christian,

"Sure Ana, I always need trusted workmen or women" he corrects with a chuckle, Ana glances up at him, but I don't think she is convinced, "If the thought of working on a building site doesn't appeal, then don't worry, the painting crews are always the last on site, so you would pretty much have the place to yourself and the painters I have are a good bunch of lads, you would fit right it" I glance at Christian as his face falls, I don't think the thought of Ana being with a load of men all day, floats his boat, I bite my lip to hide me chuckle,

"There are a few things you would have to do first, like register with the tradesmen register, get your safety certificates, but it's basically common sense, so that shouldn't be a problem, plus you would probably look pretty cute in a hard hat" Elliot teases, but I know Ana and she isn't happy,

"Thank you Elliot, I'll think about it, I just don't understand the need for all the fuss, who would give a crap about me anyway?" Ana asks,

"Most of Seattle" I tease, which probably didn't help as I notice the stress rise in Christian,

"Ana you have to understand the press are going to hound us, they will use you to get to me, they will want to know everything because they know nothing, the press are like vultures Ana, they will pick until there's nothing left" I feel my eyebrows lift, as Christian catches my eye,

"No offense Kate" Christian offers apologetically,

"None taken, just don't tar us all with the same brush, some of us have scruples" I defend, but if I'm honest, Christian does have a point, I notice Christian run his hands through his hair as he glances at Ana, I think this is Christan's worst nightmare,

I notice Ana's eyes widen, as she turns to me, "Well that's it then, why not let Kate interview us... She knows us both, she will be honest, supportive, and if it will get everyone off our backs, what harm can it do?" Ana glances at Christian, and his whole body relaxes, he looks to me and a smile takes over his face, I don't know what he is thinking but it obviously helps,

"Okay why not, are you up for it Kate?" Christian asks, and I just nod, wow, I have wanted this for years, and now with all the added publicity surrounding these two, it would help my career no end,

"Good that's settled, why not talk to Ana over the next day or so, then come to my office Tuesday afternoon, I will make time for you and we can nip all this in the bud, How does that sound Kate? Does that work for you?" Christian eagerly asks,

"Of course Christian... Wow... I can't believe this, I have dreamed of this for years, and it only took me two years, hundreds of phone calls, countless email's and one best friend" as I glance at Ana she winks with a smile, I beam back at her, wow, this is going to change everything.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A

Lying in Chrisitan's arms, watching the most glorious sunset, my heart swells with pleasure, we have had a wonderful day. The boat, the company, the whole experience, has been something I will remember forever, and I can't wait to do it again. I glance at Kate, who like me, is snuggled safe in Elliot's grasp, I smile contented, as I feel Christian nuzzle my neck and his soft regretful voice hums in my ear,

"We better head back, it's getting dark" his arms tighten around me,

"Do we have to?" I whisper, snuggling into him further, reluctant to end this,

I feel his muscular warm chest, push into my back with his deep breath, his lips kiss the back of my head, as he breaths in deeply through his nose. As he sighs heavily, I turn in his arms to face him, my heart constricts at the pain I see on his face, he kisses me deeply and rests his brow to mine,

"As much as I don't want to, we need to, it's safer to sail when you can see what you're doing" his attempt at humor is his way of coping, but it's not working, his need is plain to see. Elliot must have noticed as he jumps up quickly,

"Come on captain, we need to set sail" with a swift kiss, Christian moves reluctantly away. His task soon takes over and occupies him and very soon, the two of them go into autopilot, reeling in and tieing off the sails, taking the boat back into the harbor, taking us home safely, to pull us apart.

As we arrive at the dock, I notice the cars, Kate's Merc, Christian's SUV, and a shiny new Volvo. I roll my eyes, he wasn't kidding, I bet that's mine. As the boarding ramp is lowered, I see Taylor come on board, he speaks to Christian, hands him a small black box, then heads back down the ramp. As he reaches the SUV, a tall, well built looking guy, climbs out of the passenger seat, he glances up at me and nods politely, I give a small smile in return and know who he is, I guess he's my new shadow.

Kate and Elliot, leave the boat their hands locked together, they head over to her Merc and climb inside, I hope she remembers she's driving me home. If Christian has to drive me, it will make this all the harder for him, at least here it will be a clean break, not too many tears can fall with an audience.

Christian takes my hand and pulls me to him, he kisses me softly "Come on, let's get you home" he turns and leads me down the ramp. As we reach the dock, Taylor greets us, "Evening Miss Steele, did you enjoy your afternoon?"

"Hi Taylor, and yes, I had a wonderful afternoon, I can't wait to go out again" I return brightly. Christian wraps his arm around my waist, smiling down at me, he turns me to face the burly guy who steps forward and nods efficiently,

"Ana, this is Luke Sawyer, he will make sure you get home safely" Chrisitian informs,

"I'm with Kate Christian, this isn't necessary" I say but I see flashes of panic, cross his face as he shakes his head slowly,

"I'm sorry baby, it doesn't matter, if I am not with you, then Luke will need to be, he is your own personal detail, from now on, where you go, he goes... Please baby, for me" his eyes plead and I see and understand now, how much he needs this, it's his way of knowing I'm safe and I can't begrudge him that. I nod and turn to my new best friend.

As he steps forward, he offers me his hand, "Pleasure to meet you Miss Steel, I am Luke Sawyer" his voice is professional, his nod is sharp but I see a twinkle of something in his bright blue eyes,

"Call me Ana please" I smile politely, shaking his hand, he stands tall, glancing at Christian,

"Miss Steel, It wouldn't feel right not showing you the rightful respect" the twinkle still shines and I don't know why but I like him, I feel okay in his presence, let's see how flexible his respect can be,

"Christian, could you please tell Luke, that when we are alone, I wish to be called Ana, when I am with you or in public, then I will accept the old maid address, as will Mr Sawyer" I turn to Christian with a smirk and wide eyes, I know he needs me to be happy about all of this, so humor should ease him,

"You heard the lady Sawyer" Christian chirps holding my eye, I feel his arm tighten around me, as he kisses my head,

"Yes sir, Miss Steele, I will wait in the car for whenever you are ready to go" I smile, yes, I think we are going to get along, as he walks away Taylor follows him.

As we stand alone on the dock, we turn to each other and I try to keep my feelings hidden, I smile brightly "Thank you for a wonderful day Christian, your boat is amazing, I truly can't wait to do it again" he pulls me to him tightly. I feel the erratic beat of his heart, as he squeezes me close to him, I giggle, "Can't breath Christian" I manage to mumble into his chest, he steps away quickly,

"Sorry baby" he whispers,

As I look up at him, the emotions that are running across his face, are the same that are running through me, and I know exactly how he is feeling. The dread of what is about to come is painful, half of me is going to be dragged kicking and screaming in the opposite direction away from him, and I want to just weep.

I smile up at him holding my composure, I step back, his arms fall from me, "Ana, please take this" he offers me the black box he's holding "I will feel better knowing you have this, it has been pre programmed with every number you could possibly need, mine, Taylor, Gail, Mom. Dad, my office, Ros, Welch," I frown, "My info guy" he jog's my sluggish memory, "Every person who could ever get in touch with me, I have also stored all the codes for Escala, for you to come and go as you please" I glance down at the box and it's a very sleek phone, I smile up at him,

"Thank you Christian"

"Your welcome baby, please try and keep it with you at all time, I can track it, so it will help me to know you're safe" I nod slightly bewildered, images of a little electronic flashing dot, running around a map on Christian's office wall, spring to mind, I shake my head slowly, my turn,

I pull my purse from my shoulder, place the box inside, then dig deep, finding my keys, I quickly pull off my house key, "Christian take this" I offer him my key, his eyes glance down, then shoot back up to mine, the hope, the joy, I see in them causes me to smile, I giggle "This doesn't mean I want a new housemate, it's just in case you need it... If you can't sleep, if you're troubled, even if you just need a hug" I giggle at his cocked eyebrow and we both chuckle, as if we could stop at just a hug. I vaguely hear two sets of footsteps approach and I know it's time to go.

"Come on Steele, we need to go" I hear Kate from behind me, Christian pulls me close, cups my cheek and kisses me softly,

"I'm going to miss you, my little bunny" he whispers, I hear Kate snigger from behind and I giggle, as I glance up, I see the pain in his eyes, my heart wrenches. I step forward so I'm closer to him, his arms take my waist,

"I don't want to go" I can't help my whisper, I feel the tears well up in my eyes, no, no, no, I must stay strong for him, I sniff with a giggle and step back, I turn to Kate "I'm coming now, thanks Kate"

"Ana" I hear Christian whisper, he isn't going to leave, he can't. He quickly rests his brow on mine, his deep sigh warms my lips, I kiss him quickly and step back further, his arms slide around to my sides but don't leave me.

"Sir, we need to go" Taylor's voice urges, I feel his hands tighten before he steps back, putting a safe distance between us, he nods to Taylor "Have Sawyer follow closely" he mumbles, he quickly leans forward, kisses my brow with a long hard kiss, "I love you" he whispers, then turn on his heel and storms to the back of the SUV.

As his door slams shut, my tears fall, Kate's arm wraps around me and she pulls me to her, she turns me and leads me to her car. As we get near, Elliot climbs out and as he passes, he kisses Kate good bye and cups my cheek "See you later little lady" he says and kisses my brow, I look at his blurred face through my tears and mumble "Goodbye"

As the Merc leaves the dock, I strain my neck and try to keep my weeping eyes on the shrinking SUV heading in the other direction. Oh what have I done...

A/N THANK YOU FOR READING PLEASE REVIEW;)XX

...


	37. 37 Reluctant Time Apart

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx C

As Elliot climbs into the SUV, Taylor quickly drives off without hesitation, I think he understands the urgent need for distance. Walking away from Ana, leaving her at the dock, was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do, and I know it's written all over me. I turn in my seat and lock my eyes onto Kate's car for as long as I can, but all too quickly it disappears out of sight. I feel my whole body drain, the feeling of emptiness that hits me is excruciating.

I need her with me, need her close to me, she makes everything feel easier, helps me see things clearly. Her presence is so calming, her warmth is so comforting. She keeps my demons at bay. How am I ever going to sleep without her?

I glance down at her key in my palm, wrapping my fingers tightly around it, I hold my fist tight to my chest. I focus all my attention on the key, forcing myself not to order Taylor to just turn the car around, to take me back, to give me back my missing piece. I honestly don't know if I'm strong enough to stay away, to give her this time that she needs alone. I sigh heavily, as my mind races.

I don't really understand why we had to go our separate ways tonight, if I had my way, as I have told her before, she would be living with me already, but she must need this, she must need time with her friend Kate, so I had to let her go, even if my heart has gone with her.

I understand that people in relationships, couples, cannot be together twenty four seven, that they need space, their own alone time, but just because I understand, does not mean I have to like it. I don't want to rush her, scare her away, and because of that, we will do this at her pace, her way, no matter how much it hurts.

And by Christ it hurts, I feel like half of me is missing, my mind is all over the place, and I don't know what to do about it... I'm not sure how to handle this... I don't like how it feels. I feel total panic at the thought of her absence, the thought of being without her, fills me with dread but it's not a thought is it... It's happened... And I feel it, twisting in my gut, bringing me down to my knees, making me feel dead inside. As I turn to face the window blindly looking out, I sigh heavily closing my eyes, trying hard to ignore Taylor's concerned eyes in the rear view mirror.

I don't want to go home, not without her. After spending the week in a hotel, it will be strange enough being there, but without her... I don't know if I can... Ana makes the place complete, it feels like home with her next to me, but now Escala will be a constant torment of her absence... And that's not something I'm looking forward to facing. Elliot shifts beside me, making me realise that I am not alone in my wallow. I turn to face him as we pull up outside his apartment, he turns to me before climbing out,

"Do you want to come in for a while? We could down a shot or two? Numb the pain" he offers with a smirk,

"No Thanks Elliot, I'm fine" I mumble with a forced half smile,

"Sure you are" Elliot chuckles, rolling his eyes,

"I just miss her Ell" I sigh feeling totally dejected,

"You have both been apart for less than twenty minutes, get a grip man" he chuckles, play punching me in the shoulder, I force a bigger smile, How on earth does he manage being away from Kate?

"I miss her so much already" I mumble sheepishly, longingly looking down at the key in my palm,

"What have you got there?" Elliot asks, leaning over to look,

"Ana gave me her key... In case I needed her... She... Ell, couldn't I ju..." my eyes rise to his, hope filled, then my heart sinks with his scowl, he shakes his head,

"No Christian, don't even think about it... Text her, skype her, send off smoke signals, but don't you dare go over there, what did we say about not rushing her? Give her some space" he teases sternly, waving a finger, like Dad used to,

"It just feels so strange being without her, we haven't been apart in a week" I mutter, I wish he could understand how I feel, the tightening in my chest, is...

"You'll survive" he chuckles, stepping from the car,

"Will I?" my voice sounds dead, as my eyes follow him,

"Yes you will... For Fucks sake Christian... Look, the 'I've missed you like crazy' sex will be so worth it, trust me... I will see you at Moms in a few days... If you need to talk before then, just call me okay?" he leans into the car patting my shoulder, with a wide grin, "See you soon bro" I nod feigning a smile,

"Good night Elliot, Thanks for today" I say suddenly genuinely pleased,

"Your welcome Christian, we had a great day, we will all definitely have to do it again some time" I nod eagerly, recalling the day, feeling something for the first time since Ana's departure left me cold. As Elliot steps back he turns to Taylor, chuckling,

"Hide all his car keys Taylor, change all the penthouse codes, we don't want him going over there in the middle of the night and fucking everything up" I shake my head with a chuckle, as Taylor confirms his agreement with a smirk. I smile brighter inwardly, as neither of them realise that a car would not be needed, I would crawl on my hands and knees through hot coals to see her, so they do have a point.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A

As I lounge in my pj's on the sofa with my feet up, a glass of wine in my hand, I realise that for the past fifteen minutes, my eyes have not left the tormenting red wall. I can't stop thinking about him, I feel so lost without him. I know it's silly, after such a short time, but the need I have to be close to him is overwhelming. I want to just run over there right now and curl up with him, hold him, just be close to him.

I shift in my seat with a huff, how could I have been so selfish? I can't believe I did this. Why did I not just go home with him? If I feel like this, then how must he be feeling? He will have so many new feelings and emotions running through him, what will he do? How will he cope with it all? He will have no one to talk to, no one to ease him. I look up suddenly, as something catches my eye.

Kate enters the room, freshly showered, pj's adorned, her fluffy slippers shuffling across the wooden floor, totally ready for girl time. I suddenly hear the door buzz and my eyes shoot up hopefully,

"Pizza" Kate mutters, shaking her head, rolling her eyes,

My split second of hope crashes down around me, making me feel worse. Kate quickly answers the door, then heads back and falls onto the other end of the sofa. Placing the pizza on the table, she pours herself a glass of wine, then adds a top-up splash to mine, I smile my thanks, she leans forward, opens up the pizza box and hands me a slice,

"So... Did you have a good week?" she asks, settling back into the cushions of the sofa opposite me, tucking into her own wedge of pizza,

"It was perfect Kate... Every second of it, and today was wonderful" I sigh heavily, "I miss him so much" I can't help confess, she rolls her eyes,

"Then why the hell, are you sitting here with me and not at Escala?" she asks softly, "He wanted you to go home with him, he didn't want to leave you" her voice is sympathetic,

"I know... I felt... Feel the same, but Kate... We met so quickly, fell in love so quickly, we have only known each other for a fortnight... Ish... I know what I feel is strong, it's a connection that I could never deny but... But... What if it's an illusion and he's bored with me in a month?" I smile up at her but I feel the confusion on my face, and see it reflected back at me from hers, with a small shrug I continue,

"I need to know that our feelings are true and not just lust, I have to make sure that both of us, are not just blinded by all of this, this is the first real relationship for both of us after all... I know it seems soft... But I'm testing the theory, that absence makes the heart grow fonder. I need to feel what it's like, being without him... Then I will know for sure" I shake my head looking down into my wine glass before taking a large gulp. This doesn't even make sense to my ears, but it's hard to explain,

"And how's that working out for you" Kate teases,

"I feel like crap" I moan deeply, as Kate laughs "I feel empty without him" I look up with half a smile "Would you please... Nail all the doors and windows closed, so I don't leave and just run back to him... I don't think I have enough self control by myself" I honestly confess,

"I have never seen you like this before Ana" she shakes her head with a chuckle, sipping her wine "The change in you is..." her voice drifts off, as she shakes her head "And Christian, he has changed so much since meeting you... For the better, I might add... I don't know what you're worried about" she states totally convinced,

"I know how much he's changed, I've seen it myself... But, what if he doesn't like the person he is now and resents me? What if he misses the powerful hard man he was, he may need him more than he even realizes, he hasn't got where he is today I'm sure, by being a pushover, what if..." Kate interrupts,

"You're nuts, maybe hormonal or you could of just had, far too much wine" she chuckles "Ana, Christian truly loves you... Why are you trying to convince yourself otherwise?" she asks bemused,

"I feel it Kate believe me but we are so different, I need to be sure, I don't want to rush into anything, even though I do wish more than anything, that I was with him right now... Don't you miss Elliot?" I ask, my brow furrows, surely she must feel like this too?

"Yes I do, of course I do, but I like my own space to" she chuckles "Plus, the sex is better after a little time apart, you will find that out now that you're not joined at the hip. So is the sex goooood with Mr Grey" she drools, getting comfy on the sofa for all the gossip, I giggle, a flush flooding my cheeks, God only knows why, Kate and I can discuss anything,

"Very, very good Kate, unbelievable so" I sigh closing my eyes, as delicious memories swirl, I feel my cheeks burn as Kate giggles, her eyes eager for more details, "I'm not discussing the nitty gritty with you Kate, some things are private" she pouts playfully, "But yes, he's amazing, if I could bottle the feelings I have when I'm with him, I would be richer than he is" my brow suddenly furrows,

"Is he really that rich Kate?" I ask, feeling a little foolish, for not really knowing anything about the man I love. Kate splutters into her wine with a laugh,

"Ana, you have no idea do you? He is one of the most influential and important men in Seattle" she states,

"See, that is another reason why I had to let him go, his company must need him, he must have so much to catch up on, he needs to focus on that, not me" Kate just shakes her head, but I know how busy he must be,

"Ana, Christian has so many people working for him, I'm sure GEH will manage without him, and thanks to you, I get to go there and interview him, I owe you big time" she smiles her thanks, I smile back shaking my head, as if I would trust anyone else. The conversation takes me back to this afternoon and a melancholy feeling washes over me, as I think of our time on the boat,

"Did you and Elliot have a good day?" I ask, eager to know if she had fun too,

"God Ana, Christian's boat is amazing, I told Ell, he has to get one too, oh the fun that can be had" she drools with a glint in her eyes, then she laughs loudly, as she recalls something,

"I'm just glad everything is okay between those two, Elliot wanted to speak to Christian about what happened with you and Elena at the benefit," she states matter of fact taking more pizza, so she is unaware of my shocked expression, I quickly replace it with indifference as she smiles at me, handing me another slice, I take it absent mindedly,

"What?" I manage to mumble,

"Elliot was worried about Christian, something upset him when I mentioned what had gone on between you and Elena, and he needed to talk to Christian today on the boat, but forget all of that, I will quiz Elliot later" she says dismissively.

How on earth can I just forget all that, if only she really knew their history, but I will never tell. What could Elliot possibly have to talk about? Had he known all along about Christian and Elena? Somehow I doubt it.

"I'm just glad Christian didn't punch Elliot, for nearly putting his foot in it, with the Vegas dig" Kate chuckles, drawing my attention back to her, she holds my eye, hers are still twinkling,

"What... Why mention Vegas? I don't get it" I mumble, as I think back over today, it did puzzle me at the time, Christian's reaction to such a simple question, but I thought maybe it was a brother thing, something they shared,

"Ana, people go to Vegas for three things" Kate's directorial voice, breaks my reverie again "One, to chase the dream by gambling and winning big, Two, to sleep around on stags or hen nights, you know what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas, and Three" she holds my eye with a smirk "For very quick, very discrete weddings" her tone insinuates as she raises an eyebrow,

"Well, none of them apply to Christian" I automatically reply, as my mind drift's.

I knew something was wrong with Christian today, when he came back to the table. The way he kissed me, was so desperate so needful. I shudder, I've felt those kisses before, every time he confessed something, every time he thought I would run. Oh no, what did Elliot have to say?

"Ana, Ana..." Kate waves her hand in front of me,

"Sorry" I mumble, taking a swig of wine, I shift on the sofa and face her more,

"So would you?" she asks, her eyes wide,

"Would I what?" I ask frowning, what is she on about?

"Have you not been listening to a word I've said?" she snaps,

"Of course I have, you mentioned Vegas" I vaguely recall,

"What would you have done, if Christian had of taken you there and proposed?" she asks her voice eager, despite her annoyance of having to ask again,

"What?" I almost scream, Kate laughs "He wouldn't Kate... Why would... No..."

"I told you Ana, Vegas offers three things and two of them wouldn't apply to Christian, so that only leaves the quickie wedding and the fact that he asked you more than once, and is head over heels in love with you, proves there is no other explanation" she's adamant, and very convincing I will give her that, but no surely not,

"You're wrong" I mutter, more to myself. How could she possibly be right? We have only known each other a matter of weeks, I know what we feel is strong, but surely not. Christian mentioned Vegas the first time, the first morning in the hotel, he couldn't of meant marriage not after only one night, surely? I feel my heart swoon as I smile, oh my, that man is just amazing, Kate notices my smile,

"So what would you do?" she demands, with an impatient giggle,

"Honestly Kate... I would jump at the change" I tell her truthfully, her eyes widen along with her smile, she shakes her head bewildered "I love him Kate" I state firmly,

"Christ Ana, you mean it don't you?" her voice holds shock, I nod slowly,

"I want to be with him so much, it's only been a few hours since I last saw him but I can't think straight" I shake my head cursing myself.

I don't know why I have done this, it's painful and I hate to think what he must be going through, but at least now I know how I truly feel and my heart aches to be with him. I hope he's okay, emotionally he is so fragile, I don't think I will sleep much tonight, especially now, he will have so much on his mind after talking to Elliot, oh I've been so selfish.

"God you have it so bad, drink more wine you will be fine" she offers, topping up my glass, I chuckle, this is my third glass,

"Are you going to wait until I'm drunk, before you interview me?" I ask, she rolls her eyes,

"I don't need to interview you Steele, I know you, but seriously, is there anything you don't want me to mention?" she asks genuinely concerned,

"Don't mention work, Christian is right, I don't want to be bombarded with work, or give Christian anything more to worry about" the panic he couldn't hide on his face told me how terrified he was,

"Okay...Oh... What did you give him at the dock by the way?" she asks,

"My front door key?" I say with a smile, Kate belly laughs loudly,

"Oh Ana, Ana, Ana" Kate coos, shakes her head, a soppy look on her face,

"What?" I ask with a giggle,

"Ana baby" she giggles, amusement bouncing around her eyes "There is no way on Gods green earth, that you are going to be waking up alone, I will bet my Merc against Wanda, that he will visit you like Father Christmas in the middle of the night and most definitely fill your stocking" her laughter continues, I feel my face burst into a huge grin,

Oh God, I hope so...

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx C

As the elevator doors close behind me, Taylor quickly scurries off and the emptiness of the place hits me. As I walk further into my apartment my stride slows, everywhere I look I can see her, from the coloured walls screaming at me, to the fireplace we curled up in front of, even her book is still on the chair, oh God she is everywhere... But no where.

The place is deserted, silent, depressing... And then there is Gail. I can't help my small forlorn smile, as she eagerly approaches. I see the excitement on her face, and hide a surprising giggle, as I fight the sudden, most unexpected urge to just hug her, her face beams up at me,

"Oh Mr Grey, it is so good to have you home" she glance past me, "Where is Ana, sorry Miss Steele?" her face flushes, I notice her eyes are confused and a little sad. I shuffle past her into the kitchen and slump at the breakfast bar,

"She went home, we are meeting for dinner tomorrow night" I mumble, as Gail comes to stand in front of me, her face falls,

"Oh dear... I'm so sorry Mr Grey, would you like something to eat?" she offers comfortingly "We have Mac 'n' cheese" she whispers with a grin, I chuckle despite my mood,

"No Thank you Gail" Gail's answer to everything is food, but this is one problem it won't fix,

"A glass of wine would be nice though" I say glancing up at her, she smiles thankful for something to do. As she busies herself in the kitchen, my mind starts to race over every second of the last week, I feel my heart tighten painfully in my chest, I need a distraction. As Gail hands me my wine I stand.

"I think I'll try and get some work done, Thank you Gail" I turn and head to my office, leaving a sad looking Gail behind me.

Why the hell did I come in here? I moan, my head in my hand, Work hasn't helped at all, I haven't done a damn thing. I can't take my eyes of the blue wall opposite me and it's driving me crazy. It's her, her eyes, every time I look at it I see her, I can't think of anything else. I know she painted it, so I know she has been in here, I just can't escape her. It's only been a few hours, but I need to see her, her beautiful face, her smile, her blue eyes, her... I sit up quickly, reach into my trouser pocket and pull out my phone, I smile longingly at my screen saver. 'Shit' I jump up quickly from my desk and head for the door. Opening it I step out and yell for Taylor, he appears quickly, eyes questioning,

"Sir" he asks,

"Taylor, where are the photos that Stone took the other day?" I urgently ask,

"There on the memory stick, top left hand drawer of your desk Sir" I notice a small smile, I smile back widely,

"Thank you Taylor" I step back into my office closing the door.

As I impatiently wait for the photos to load, I recall our day and wonder what shots were caught on film, we had a wonderful day, so different, so new, so relaxing. I turn to the computer as the pictures start to scroll and my jaw has virtually hit my desk, "Oh my God" I whisper.

I see it... What we have together... What she feels, it's plain to see... She loves me. It's in every shot, I see it, how could I ever worry that I could lose her? I chuckle softly, as I slowly shake my head, I don't recognize myself. If this is what my family see... No wonder my Mom's overjoyed. I smile, "Oh Ana... I miss you" I breath at her image on the screen, as I trace my fingers along her cheek, the cold hard computer screen, offering little comfort. What I would give to have her here with me now.

Taking the memory stick from the computer, I eagerly head into the kitchen. Taylor is sat opposite Gail at the breakfast bar drinking coffee, while Gail goes threw a cookery book. As I head in, they both glance up. I try to keep my face harsh,

"Gail... What was the meaning of this?" I ask sternly, holding up the memory stick. She steps down from her stool, as her eyes widen and her face falls, I notice Taylor shift in his seat, watching me warily,

"Oh Mr Grey... I do apologize... I know it was wrong... But..." I walk over slowly, as she flusters her words, "Please don't be angry with Taylor, or the security, it was my idea... I wanted... I am sorry Mr Grey, I know I. ..." I reach her and stand in front of her, she lowers her shamed and remorseful eyes, I chuckle, as I quickly step to her and wrap my arms around her, I pick her up and spin her around in a hug,

"Oh Thank you Gail... You wonderful nosy woman... What would I do without you?" I gush happily. As I place her back on her feet, I place a swift kiss on her cheek before stepping away, she gasps and raises her hand to her flushed cheek,

"Sir" I hear Taylor mutter from behind me,

"Sorry Taylor, I hope I didn't overstep the mark" he shakes his head with bemusement, I grin tossing him the memory stick, "I have high-lighted some photos, could you please have two sets printed on canvas, say 2ft by 2ft, ASAP, I'd like a set hung in both my offices"

"Of course Sir" Taylor acknowledges with a grin, I turn to Gail,

"Thank you Gail" I beam with a wink, and her relieved giggle follows me out of the room.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A

As I yawn loudly and fight to keep my eyes open, I know I'm ready to drop. The sea air, wine and emotional turmoil has drained me and I need my bed. I'm hoping sheer exhaustion will help me sleep, but I'm not holding out much hope. I glance up at Kate, and she too is half asleep, her wine glass balancing precariously on her lap.

I climb off the sofa and taking Kate's hand, and the wine glass, I pull her up, "Come on you, let's go to bed" she rises and pulls me into a hug,

"Good night Steel" she mumbles and toddles off, with her eyes still closed, I smile after her, wishing her good night.

I grab my purse, double lock the front door and turn out all the lights. As I enter the bedroom, my phone starts to ring. Digging through my bag, I pull out the box and my heart falls, as it's making no sound. I dig deeper for the ringing phone and pull out my old one. I smile, as I see the ID,

"Hi Mom" I sing, as I accept the call,

"Anastacia Rose Steele... Why are you smooching, some absolutely gorgeous looking young man all over the TV?" she asks, her voice playful,

"He is rather dishy, isn't he?" I sigh,

"Oh baby girl, you look so happy... I'm so pleased for you, after all this time you have finally found someone, you both look so happy" she gushes, and I bet anything she will have tears in her eyes,

"We are Mom" I confirm with a smile,

"So come on, tell me all about him" she urges,

"Oh where do I start" I giggle, getting comfy on the bed, preparing to tell her all,

"Do you love him? You sound like you do" Her curiosity is evident in her tone,

"Yes Mom, I do, he's amazing I..." I jump slightly, as suddenly the box on the bed starts to ring, "Sorry Mom, but can I call you later? Tomorrow maybe? Christian is calling me"

"How? I am on the phone with you, How can it be ringing?" I hide a giggle,

"It's a long story Mom, but Christian bought me another phone" if I mention my new job, I will never get off the phone,

"Why would you need another one?" I smile, as I imagine the confused look she will no doubt have on her face,

"Actually Mom, now I have three, look I'm sorry Mom, I love you but I need to take this call" I pick up the box, urging her silently to hang up,

"Ok baby, take care, be safe" she preaches lovingly,

"Always Mom, love you"

As I quickly pull open the box, my heart sinks as I notice it's just a text message, I hold the now silent phone close to my chest, with a deep sign, I open the message,

'Good night baby, I miss you, I didn't trust myself to call... Forgive me...  
My thoughts are with you... I love you... Christian xx'

My chest tightens, as my eyes scan every word, I want to be with him, why couldn't he call? I long to hear his voice, maybe I should call him? No, it would probably upset him, and me, I re-read his text and sigh heavily, as I send one of my own,

'Good night Christian, I love and miss you too. Sleep well, Ana xx'

How do you put a bucket load of feeling and emotions into a single text? My words could never express how much I want to be with him. As I hit send, I climb into bed, hugging my phone, I quickly roll onto my side and fighting back the tears, I close my eyes searching for sleep.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx T

As I lounge on the bed glancing through the paper, Gail enters the room ready for bed. She climbs in next to me and snuggles down on her side, looking up at me a smile on her glowing face,

"You happy baby?" I ask chuckling, It's a silly question, she has been on a high since Grey's doppleganger kissed her,

"Oh Jason, you have no idea, when he first came home, I felt for him, he seemed so broken but after the photo's he... She really has changed him hasn't she?" her eyes are wide, totally amazed,

"Gail, he has changed like you wouldn't believe. You've only had a taster, wait until you see them together, he is totally a different person but... Tonight isn't going to be easy" after what I was at the dock, I'm surprised he's still here,

"What do you mean?" she asks,

"Well... Let's put it this way, don't be surprised if you hear the piano later" I shake my head, if he starts to play all the depressing crap at 4am I'm gonna drive him over there myself,

"Was it that bad?" Gails tone is ominous, her eyes grave,

"When they left each other at the dock, they were both in bits" and that's putting it mildly,

"Then why isn't she here with him?" she asks with a furrowed brow,

"Beats me, I wouldn't be surprised if Grey wasn't here in the morning for breakfast though, I can't see him having the strength to stay away from her, and you know what? I hope he caves" I confess, shuffling down into the bed getting closer to Gail,

"Oh me too, he needs her, he..." I place a finger on her lips, and eye her suggestively, placing my hand on her hip,

"If Grey caves... We get a lie in..." I whisper, as Gail's face splits into a suggestive grin, I pull her close and start to nuzzle,

"Oh... Then I hope so... Too " she purrs rolling onto her back taking me with her.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx C

After hitting the send button, instead of the call button, I drop my phone on my desk. The urge to speak to Ana is almost overpowering, but thankfully not all my restraint is lost. I know if I spoke to her though, that would be a different matter entirely, the sound of her voice would have me running, of that I'm sure, so a text will have to do. Not that it could possibly say everything I want it to, maybe I should have e-mailed? I suppress a chuckle.

I hope she sleeps well, she has Kate with her, so she will be fine but the lone dark hours of night can be a lonely place, as I know first hand, but tonight is not going to be like that. I sit up straight turn off my computer, turn off the lights and head for bed. As I walk into the bedroom I smile at the gray wall, comforted slightly that she has spent time in here. I quickly have a shower, as I have no urge to linger in there without Ana, then I dress for bed. As I do I check my phone and freeze at the sight of an unopened message.

Sitting on the bed I quickly open it and read it many times before looking away. She has asked me to sleep well, and I smile comforted to know she has been worrying about me, she knows me so well, to understand that sleeping will be harder for me without her. Adamantly I climb into bed, for her I will sleep, I will cling to her subconsciously and not be drawn down the dark path, that usually claws at me in the dead of night. For her, I will slumber peacefully. As I settle down into the bed I smile at the fact she has laid her too and I cling to that fact as I close my eyes and think over every minute of the last week, with images to feast on, I relax and feel my eyelids slowly close.


	38. 38 Ships That Pass In The Night

A/N HI EVERYONE, THANKS AS ALWAYS FOR YOUR SUPPORT, YOUR AMAZING REVIEWS AND YOUR COMMITMENT TO THIS STORY. IT MAKES A NOVICE WRITER LIKE ME, VERY HAPPY;)))

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A

As I lay in bed I breathe in deeply through my nose, pulling in the sweet reminiscent smell of jasmine, I concentrate on the flickering candle light dancing on the ceiling, willing myself to calm, urging my mind to reclaim my lost sleep. I sigh heavily, even this isn't helping, I just feel so restless, and can't help but roll around the bed feeling frustrated and irritable, aggressively fluffing up my pillows.

After the first hour of exhausted sleep, I was dragged out, by a dream of a sinking boat and my mind has been in turmoil ever since. I just can't settle, my dream is still troubling me, if Christian is symbolic of his boat, then he must be drowning in a sea of emotion right now, and I need to be with him. I need to help him.

My mind races and my brow furrow's deeply, at what he and Elliot could have discussed earlier today, I dare not think about how he must be feeling. He will need someone to talk everything through with, he has no one, only Flynn and he probably is on 24hr speed dial but I don't think Christian would call him.

Somehow I can't imagine Christian sleeping peacefully tonight, new emotions, new feelings, will have him tied up in knots. How will he cope with all of that? What if he has a nightmare? Oh I hope he's not driven to his piano, I don't think that will help him, especially if he plays the piece he wrote for me. As I curl up into the fetal position, my heart knots in my chest, I scrunch my eyes up tight trying to bring on sleep, but to no avail.

"Oh sod this" I curse aloud, my voice irate, I don't care what Kate said, I need to be with him.

Feeling instantly better now my decision is made, I leap out of bed and head for the bathroom. After I freshen up, I leave the bathroom light on, using its soft glow across the apartment to highlight the way. I don't want to wake Kate with the main house lights, she would only try and hinder my escape, I chuckle softly, as I quickly scribble a note for her.

Grabbing the first set of car keys I find, I pull on my trainers and grab a coat, pulling it on over my Pjs, I head out the door quietly, then run full pelt down the few flights of stairs that lead to the basement car park. As I press the key fob, my van opens, so I quickly head over. Jumping into my van, I place the key in the ignition and before I even have time to turn the key, I hear a short sharp rap on the window.

Nearly jumping out of my skin, I gasp, as I anxiously turn to the person looming over me. My worries ease immediately, as I see Luke gasping for breath and wearing nothing but a coat over his blue Pjs. I smile up at him nibbling my bottom lip, Oh no... I hope I'm not in too much trouble.

"Miss..." he pants, as I raise an eyebrow "Sorry... Ana... Would you mind me asking where you're going?" he stands taller now, his breathing reaching a more normal pace,

"I need to go to Escala" I tell him straight, he isn't going to stop me. I glance quickly at the door lock, debating whether I have time to lock it and set off, before he has a chance to stop me, I notice a small smirk play at the corner of his mouth, as his eyes follow mine,

"Ana, are you sure you want to go to Escala at 2am, in your sushi pajamas?" he asks, his brows raised, his small smirk still in place. I nod adamantly, not really bothered about what I'm wearing. Who on earth is going to see me at this hour?

"Fine, then I will drive you" he states in a no nonsense tone, as if I would argue, as long as I get to Escala, I don't care who drives.

Luke opens my door and stands back, eagerly I jump out, run around to the passenger side and jump back in. As he turns the key, I notice a look of disdain on his face, as his eyes scan the interior of my van. I hide a giggle, I suppose it is a bit of a come down from the shiny Volvo he was driving earlier. I glance around and notice it parked a few spaces away, I shake my head with a roll of my eyes, Why on earth do I need it? Wanda and the van suit my purposes. The man has more money than sense.

Caught up in my mindless, early hour thoughts, we hit the road, which thankfully is quiet. I smile facing the window, knowing that soon I will be back at Escala, soon I will be with Christian... Curled up in his warmth... Curled up in his love.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx C

I give up.

After only an hours worth of deep restful sleep, dreams of being lost in rough sea's woke me. Since then, I have tried everything to curb the urge to run.

I have tried to work, which was a waste of time, I couldn't concentrate for longer than five minutes, all I could think about was Ana. I have also found out, that stomping around in the dark from room to room, trying to find the spot that holds the most feeling of her, was also pointless. I have even lit the fire, glanced through her book but I still can't feel her enough to calm even a fraction, of the yearning I have to be close to her. I have even tried distraction and played my piano, but every melody I played, morphed somehow, into Ana's melody and my heart craves her more than ever.

I miss her so much it's almost physically painful, emotionally I'm a wreck. I chuckle half heartedly, amazed at what I can actually feel, what Ana has made me feel and even though they are not necessarily good emotions, I rejoice in the fact that I can experience them.

I need her so much, my body craves to be close to her, to hold her while we sleep, to feel her warm skin, inhale her intoxicating unique fragrance, but most of all, I need her to help me clear my head, to rationalize what Elliot and I discussed today. The thought of telling my Mother about my past with Elena, has my heart racing, panicking me, and I don't know what to do. I need Ana, she will help me make sense of all of this.

As I rise from the piano, I head urgently over to the glass windows and scan the sea of rooftops. Looking in the general direction of her apartment, I'm disappointed that I can't see her actual building and the sigh that leaves me, breaks me.

I don't care what Elliot said, I need to go, I need her.

Heading to my bedroom, I pull off my Pjs and throw on sweats and a T shirt. Storming back through the lounge, I grab my car keys and phone and head out. Jumping into my car, I eagerly set off and thankfully due to the late hour, the roads are quiet. I reach her apartment in minutes, parking in the underground car park, I eagerly rush up the three flights of stairs. As I reach Ana's door, a grin takes over me and my heart beat steps up another gear, as I quietly let myself in.

As I head into Ana's apartment, I notice a light from what I am presuming is the bathroom, as I can also hear running water. I notice, Ana's bedroom door, is open, and with a silly grin on my face, I hurry across the apartment to her bedroom, pulling my clothes off as I go. Entering the bedroom, I notice the bed is disheveled and the only light is from a clock that reads 2.15. I pull back the covers and climb in with a shiver, God this bed is freezing.

I roll more on to Ana's side, searching for lingering body heat and my brow furrows, as I feel the cold empty space, She must have been in the bathroom for a long time. I pull the covers up tightly around my shoulder and turn to bury my face into Ana's soft pillow, I close my eyes as I breath deeply and smile to myself, as the feeling of comfort instantly washes over me. I continue my deep even breaths, my eyes closed, Oh this is heaven, is the last thought I have, before I fall fast asleep.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A

Within ten minutes we reach Escala, as Luke and I step into the elevator, an awkward silence fills the small space,

"I'm sorry I woke you Luke" I offer, as an ice breaker,

"It's fine Ana" he answers professionally, but I can tell he is still tired,

"How did you know anyway?" I ask, suddenly curious,

"It's my job to know" he states proudly,

"Did I trip a wire, that was attached to your big toe?" I tease, I notice he struggles to hide his laughter,

"Something like that" he mumbles, giving nothing away, how very frustrating, then a thought hits,

"Are you staying in my building? I noticed the car in the car park" he nods,

"Yes I am, your neighbours had a sudden urge to go to Aspen" he says with a smile,

I frown to myself, why on earth would Mr and Mrs Bernstein, who are in their seventies, want to go skiing? I shake my head bewildered, Well your never to old to learn I suppose, just hope neither of them break a hip, I chuckle softly to myself, as the elevator doors open.

"Thank you Luke" I offer gratefully, as we stand in the hall,

"Your welcome Ana" he says with a nod, then he glances round unsure what to do with himself, I smile,

"I won't be going home, so I'm sure Christian won't mind, if you use a guest room for the evening, would you like me to show you?" he still looks tired, he shakes his head,

"That won't be necessary, Taylor showed me around earlier today, there is a guest bedroom in his apartment that I can use. Thank you anyway, Good night Ana" he nods politely and heads off.

"Night Luke" I mumble after him.

As I head into the lounge, I smile as I see the blazing fire, and smile wider at the memory it invokes, I shiver suddenly as the place feels so empty... So cold. I turn quickly and head for Christian's bedroom. As I walk into the room, I notice the empty messy bed and halt in my tracks, I look towards the open door of the en-suit and that too is empty.

Where is he? I ponder, as I turn and head through the lounge towards his office. As I approach the door, I freeze and bite my lip, chewing it absent mindedly. What if he's busy? Or not pleased to see me. My panic recedes as I shrug, well I've come this far. I knock gently on the door, then take a small step back waiting for it to open. Nothing. I knock again a little harder, but still nothing. I cautiously open the door and peek inside, taking in the empty room my belly flips, where is he? I glance at the clock on the wall, it's 2.15, where on earth could he be at this time?

Feeling a little disheartened, I head back into the lounge. I grab the throw from the sofa and sit in the chair near the fire. My thoughts are a mess, where could he possibly be? I wonder if Taylor is with him? I hope nothing has happened. What if he has... No nothing bad will of happened to him, he has probably just gone out for a run, he told me once, that he runs at night to help clear his head, maybe after today he needs to clear his thoughts.

The fact that he is up at this hour, is not entirely surprising, I just wish I knew where he was, If he's okay. I curl up in the chair, wrapping myself up in the throw, he will be home soon, I will just wait here. Feeling the warmth from the fire and falling into the comfort of knowing I'm in Christian's apartment, I instantly fall asleep.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx C

As I roll over, my arm outstretched reaching for Ana, my brow creases as my hand comes up empty. I open my eyes quickly, to find her side of the bed still vacant, I lean up onto my elbow and take in the room. Nothing has changed, glancing at the clock I'm surprised to see it's now 3am. Where in the hell is she? The bedroom door is still open, but I notice the light from the bathroom is no longer on, it must have been Kate.

I jump out of bed and hurriedly pull on my clothes. I pick up my phone and dial Ana's number. I curse, as I hear it sound from behind me, before the first ring is complete. I physically buckle, at the instant thought of not being able to find her. What if something has happened to her? Luke should be with her. I scroll urgently through my phone and call Sawyer's number, he answers on the third ring.

"Sawyer, where is Ana? Why is she not at home?" I demand, failing to hide the desperation in my voice,

"Miss Steele is at Escala Sir" he replies stifling a yawn "We both are Sir, I drove her over here myself earlier this evening" His voice is laced with sleep, I hope he was safe to drive, but I calm as I feel a smile touch my lips,

"What time this evening?" I ask bewildered at what has happened,

"A little after 2am Sir" I can't help my chuckle, we both ran at the same time, both caved and gave in to the pull, "Where is Miss Steele now?"

"Sleeping I think Sir" he answers not totally sure,

"Okay, I'm heading home, I will be with you shortly, Thank you Luke, sorry I woke you" I apologize sincerely, I smile to myself, since when would I care, I chuckle with a shake of my head, Christ, Ana has changed me so much,

"It's fine Sir" I hear the amusement in his voice as I hang up the phone. Between me and Ana he will be useless in the morning.

As I reach Escala, my excitement rises as I see her van. Why did she not drive her car? I wonder, as I shake my head. Storming across the car park, I step into the elevator. Hurry up, hurry up, hurry up, I chant, as the elevator climbs tormentingly slowly to the top floor. As the doors open and I step into the hall, I smile as I see Ana in the lounge, I walk forward and kick off my shoes. Tiptoeing over to her, I kneel on the floor in front of her and take in everything about her. It feels like days, since I last saw here.

Her soft glowing skin is warm from the still blazing fire, I run my finger slowly along her cheek, pushing her hair clear of her face, she stirs slightly, turning her face into my fingers. I smile as I cup her face, softly running my thumb back n forth across her cheek, she sighs deeply,

"Christian" she mumbles and my face beams,

"Yeah baby... I'm here" I whisper leaning into her, I place a soft kiss on her warm lips, as her eyes slowly open,

"Are you okay? Where have you been?" she whispers, her warm breath caresses my mouth, I kiss her again before answering, reveling in the proximity of her,

"I'm fine baby... But I have spent the last hour all alone in your bed" I chuckle as her eyes open further, I see the sad amusement in her eyes reflected back at me,

"While I've been all alone here" she shakes her head slowly, as her hand comes out from under the throw she is wrapped up in, she runs her hand through my hair and holds my neck, my eyes close with a contented sigh, as I feel the heat from her in my toes. God this woman...

"See, we are not meant to be apart, we should never do it again" she teases truthfully, her hand pulls me closer, my heart pounds as she kisses me,

"Most definitely" I murmur against her consuming lips, she is never going home,

"I can't believe we passed each other" she giggles pulling her lips away from mine,

"I can't believe you came to me" I shake my head in awe,

"Oh Christian, I have missed you so much, I wish that I had never left you, tonight has been awful" she gushes, her eyes tearing,

"Oh baby, me too, I tried to be strong, tried to keep busy in order to stay away, I knew I had to give you space, I knew you needed it, but all I wanted... Was to be with you... It's been so hard... I need you Ana" I pour out truthfully,

"Me too Christian, I couldn't sleep and even when I did my dreams troubled me, so I just had to come and see you, I needed to know you were okay, I need to be near you Christian, I need to sleep next to you" she shuffles up sitting straighter and I kneel taller on my knees. As her arms wrap around me, I circle my arms around her, pulling her into me, "I love you so much Christian, I'm sorry I left" her hold gets tighter and we hug needfully,

"It's fine baby, just don't do it again" I state truthfully, breathing in deeply relishing in her scent,

"Never" she whispers into my neck, "You're cold" she whispers, her hushed voice on my neck continuing to vibrate right through me, "Take me to bed and let me warm you up" she offers, looking up at me salaciously, her warm come to bed eyes dancing in the firelight, I chuckle at her bluntness, but who am I to refuse.

I stand quickly picking her, up as I do Ana's legs twist around my hips, her hands clasp together behind my neck, I pull her so close I can feel her heart beating against my chest, her warmth radiates right through me, as my body comes alive, I mold my lips to hers till we reach the bedroom.

Kicking the door closed behind us, I turn so my back is to the bed, I fall backwards with Ana still secure in my arms. As we bounce on the bed, Ana giggles as her legs shuffle to my sides, she straddles me, her kisses deepen, her breathing accelerates and her hands start to move. She pulls and tugs urgently at my T shirt, trying to drag it up and over my head,

"Whoa... Slow down baby, there's no rush" I murmur against her lips, I want to savor every moment, even though I have missed her terribly, I need this slow, I need to reform our connection, feel every inch of her,

"Yes there is..." she mumbles into my ear, as her kisses move to my neck. "I need to feel you... Please you... Make you understand how sorry I am, How much I've missed you" I hear the urgency in her tone and feel it in her eager hands. She pulls my T shirt over my head, I chuckle loving her blatant show of need,

"Ana baby... You don't have to prove anything, there's no need... Everything is fine, I'm fine... Because you're here now" her hungry mouth continue's to kiss, nip and lick my exposed chest, and I succumb with a gut deep moan. The feel of her on my chest has my eyes rolling, my breathing deepening and my cock swelling.

Ana responds instantly to my body's reaction to her and grinds into me, I can feel the heat from her through her clothes and my need for her rises, literally. I run my hands from her hair down her back and take hold of the bottom of her pajama top, I quickly pull it up and over her head. We both moan, at the skin on skin contact as my arms encircle her pulling her flat against me, our lips meet and our tongues do battle, a needful hungry kiss, that ignites every part of me.

I roll us over and lean up onto my elbows, looking down into her beautiful flushed face, I can't help my chuckle, at the need I see in her eyes, "I love you Ana" I can't help but whisper, I see her virtually melt at my whispered words.

"Oh I love you too Christian... More than I even thought possible" her arms wrap around me pulling me close and I fall into her loving embrace. My head rests on her heaving chest, I feel her writhe underneath me at our close contact and I need to feel her.

I quickly rise up and kneel between her wriggling thighs, the hunger in her eyes is overwhelming and I feel fit to burst, just knowing how much she has missed and wants me, heightens my desire. I move her leg across me, so hers are together and make quick work of pulling off her pj bottoms and underwear. I move her leg back, so they are once again either side of mine and I revel in the sight of how aroused she is and I can't help myself, I have to feel her, taste her, please her.

My head descends and her moans of pleasure start with the anticipation of what's to come, before my tongue has even reached her. When it does though, the guttural moan that falls from her lips, has my cock on full alert and I know I won't be able to indulge for long. Her wanton need for me, is intoxicating and has my body crying out for her. As my tongue finally invades her sweet dripping folds, I moan into her, as her thighs clamp around my head, her hands fist in my hair and her body starts to squirm.

I feel uncomfortable in my clothes as my cock is still confined and I need release. "I'm sorry baby" I mumble as I pull away from her. I kneel up and pull down my sweats, grabbing a condom from the bedside drawn I rip it open and attempt to put it on, but Ana's hands take it and as she rolls it down over my swollen cock, her hands brush across me and tightly grip the base of me, and I nearly explode,

"Oh God Ana... Don't move... Whatever you do" I desperately beg. Closing my eyes, I hold her hand still with mine, and I attempt to bounce figures around in my head, trying desperately to curb the need I have to climax, after just one simple touch. I hear her soft giggle and see her pride filled face, her blue eyes bright, she revels in knowing the effect she has on me and I can't hold out any longer.

"I need you baby" I tell her, my voice rough with desire. I kneel back on my heels in the total sub position and wrapping an arm around her back I pull her up and onto my lap. Her hand still holds my cock and as she gets close, she aligns herself and slides onto me, in one glorious fluid motion,

"Oh my God... Ana, that feels so... So good" I gush breathlessly, as her arms wrap around me. Her deep moan in my ear, has me reeling and I need her to move. I slide my hands, down her back to her hips and slowly start to move her backwards and forwards, needing no encouragement at all, she eagerly takes over and starts to move.

Boy does she move, her knees dig into the bed as she grinds me deep, the feel of her hot, needy and wet, is glorious and I let her take control. Her arms travel up my back, her fingers fist in my hair, and after no time at all, I see the tell tail signs of her impending orgasm. I turn my head slightly, to find her lips and kiss her for all I'm worth. I let a hand roam her soft warm body and settle, fondling her tight pert breast. I long to claim a nipple but my mouth is enjoying her tongues assault. I feel my body start to build, my cock swell and throb and I know that I don't have much longer in me.

I pinch her nipple between my fingers and twist and roll, to the sound of her moan, I feel her internal tremor and know she is about to release. "Come for me baby" I purr, into her hot consuming mouth and that's all she needs to be mine. I feel her insides grip me, as I finally let go and I bury my head in her chest, finally reveling in teasing her beautifully pink elongated nipple.

"Oh Ana baby, you're so beautiful" I purr against her soft skin, her arms enfold my head as she hold me close,

"Oh Christian... Christian" she murmurs breathlessly, into the top of my head. I buck inside her as I feel my orgasm recede, her inner walls clench me one more time, as I lay her back down. Still buried inside her, I raise my lips to hers, her legs wrap around my waist, her arms are still tightly around me, her cheeks are flushed, her body heaves and I slowly start to move.

I need to claim her my way, comfort her and myself my way, I need to feel every inch of her and prove how much I have missed her too, now that the urgency for contact and intimacy has passed, enjoyment can be savored. I bury myself deep, pushing into her slowly, her neck arches, giving me access to her slender throat. I run my tongue up her enticing neck, until I reach her ear and I take her lobe with my teeth, I pull gently and nibble a little, as her body responds to me, I move a little faster.

My heart is pounding in my chest, I feel it vibrating back at me from Ana's heaving chest and once again I know we are both close. The effect we have on each other is staggering, I have never felt like this before and it only convinces me more and more, that this woman is truly meant for me.

I smile, as I bury my face into her neck, breathing in deeply the now familiar scent of her hair, "Oh I'm home" I moan into her ear, I feel her body tremble,

"Oh Christian... I love you" she pants into my ear, and I feel my cock explode. Five little words, causes all my self control to fall by the wayside and I wouldn't have it any other way.

As our orgasms take us, we hold each other tightly, both whispering into each others ears and both feel the hunger for contact,

"Promise me... You will always be here, no matter what we do during the day... Promise me, we can always sleep together" I almost beg. A few hours without her has proven without a shadow of a doubt, how much I love her, how much I need her with me,

"Oh yes, definitely Christian" she eagerly agrees, "I will never put either of us, through a night like tonight again, do you forgive me?" she whispers and as I cup her beautiful face, I look deep into her beautiful blue eyes,

"Oh baby... There is nothing to forgive... And even if there were, you have served your penance" I tease, a light shines in her eyes, as her teeth take her glorious bottom lip,

"Oh have I?... I don't think I have... I still need to make it up to you I think... Show you... How much I have missed you" her look is enticing, her voice seductive and I eagerly respond,

"Show me...?" I mutter breathlessly, feeling my eyes slightly hood with anticipation of her innuendo,

"Oh yes" she teases and I feel her shift underneath me. I help her to roll us over so I'm on my back. She slowly lifts herself off me and shuffles backwards. She unashamedly pulls off the condom, then my sweats, and holds my eye, as her mouth decends on to my eagerly awaiting cock,

"Oh welcome home... My little bunny" I praise, then groan, as I feel her laughter vibrate right through me.

A/N PLEASE REVIEW:)


	39. 39 A New Day Begins

THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR SUPPORT, WONDERFUL REVIEWS AND POSSITIVE FEEDBACK. HUGS TO EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx T

As I roll onto my side I feel Gail slowly slide out of bed, and reluctantly open my eyes. Gail is standing next to the bed wrapping herself up in her dressing gown, eager to start her day. Propping myself up on my elbow, I lean over and grab hold of the end of her robe,

"Where do you think you're going?" I say in my best authoritative tone, I hear her faint giggle, "Come back to bed" I urge, pulling her back towards the bed, I have a boner with her name on it and I plan on using it,

"No" she giggles louder slapping my hand away, I can't help my smirk as her eyes widen, when she notices my tent in the bed, "Mr Grey will..."

"If Grey needed us he would have yelled by now it's only 7.30, plus, I bet you my left nut he isn't even here, there is no way he would have held out all night, he would have ran to Ana like his arse was on fire, first chance he got... So get your butt back in here" I command, lifting the bed clothes inviting her back in,

"I did hear the piano in the early hours" Gail mumbles, with a worried frown, ignoring my request,

"See told ya... So come back to bed" I whine as a last resort, reaching out, I try to grab her robe once more,

"No, I need to just make sure" she says, with a soft chuckle stepping back out of my reach, with a dazzling smile she heads out of the bedroom door toward the kitchen. Jumping out of bed in just my shorts, I shoot after her and swing her up into a fire mans lift. Running with her in my arms she squeals loudly slapping my behind, so I return the favor, by running my hand up the back of her robe and squeezing her delicious butt,

"Jason" she shrills, as we enter the kitchen. As I place her on the breakfast bar, her hands wrap around my neck and I take full advantage. Leaning into her so she arches backwards, I run my hands up her thighs, I feel her legs open wider in approval as I step into them,

"Oh yes... This is what I want for breakfast" I mumble into her neck as her legs wrap around me, I enjoy the warm welcome friction from her warm thighs, as my hands start to explore under her robe.

"I hope we're not gonna be eating off that" I hear Sawyer's amused voice from behind me, I feel Gail's body freeze under my hands, she gasps loudly, quickly pulling her robe around her, to cover herself back up,

"Oh no" Gail groans as she spots Sawyer, her hands fly to her face as she tries to cover her embarrassment. Standing up, I curse as I turn towards Saywer, who is sitting at the kitchen table, nursing a cup of coffee with a smirk on his face,

"What the fuck, are you doing here? And why aren't you dressed?" I demand, feeling well pissed off that my large protruding cock, that is obvious to see, will not be put to good use. I notice out the corner of my eye, Gail slide down from the breakfast bar and make a hasty retreat back to the safety of our bedroom,

"Fuck Sawyer, your timing sucks" I curse, adjusting myself in my shorts as I head for the coffee,

"Sorry to intrude Taylor but I didn't have a choice, Ana flew the coop in the middle of the night, she was very eager to get here, and to be honest... I only just caught her, I never had a chance to change or bring anything with me" he shrugs apologetically,

"Shit... Can't believe Ana caved first, I had my left nut on it being Grey" I shake my head bewildered. Fuck me, Gail might just be right, these two might just work. He hasn't fucked anything up and she seems more, than fucking keen. 'It's just too cute' to quote Gail. I chuckle to myself as I offer Sawyer a refill, he looks like he needs coffee,

"Your nuts are safe T, cause you weren't far off, they passed each other" Saywer chuckles, holding out his cup,

My face creases, "What?" I ask, as Gail re-enters the kitchen, now fully dressed,

"When we arrived here around 2am, Grey had already headed out to Ana's place, so they crossed paths" he shrugs, as I hear Gail sigh,

"Oh, how sweet is that, even apart they are connected" Her face beams at me as I roll my eyes, "So they are both still here?" Gail asks Sawyer, still looking a little embarrassed, Sawyer just nods in confirmation, "I had better start breakfast" Gail mutters, her voice suddenly sounding panicked,

"I don't think there's any rush Gail, they probably never got to sleep, well... Until this morning" I say confidently, knowing Grey like I do, he probably never put her down until she fell, Gail flushes with understanding as she nods,

"I will rustle some breakfast up for you two, then Sawyer, I will find you something to wear" Gail declares. Refilling my coffee cup I sit opposite Sawyer at the table, thankful that my boner has subsided, Gail starts to organize herself in the kitchen,

"Ana is in the same boat, she fled in just her Pjs too" Sawyer says with a chuckle, Gail looks over and smiles softly, her compassionate eyes take mine,

"Talk about eager" Gail giggles, "I'm so happy for him, she obviously loves him"

"Don't wanna burst your bubble Gail, but he's only known her for a fortnight, fuck up Grey, still has time to send her running" I tell her with a shrug, better start preparing her for the worst. Grey can't keep that temper of his contained forever, and when he lets rip, then it will be a different story,

"I don't think so Jason" Gail says confidently, "I truly believe she is the one... Admit it Jason, you have never seen him like this before, never seen him behave like this with anyone else, even you have commented on the change in him, you have seen it first hand" Gail states with conviction,

"True... True... But... Oh what the fuck do we know, only time will tell" I say with a shrug, I hope to fuck I'm wrong, but I just can't see it being all plain sailing. Gail nods happily, believing herself to be right, "Listen, after breakfast I will call at Ana's, pick up her up some things and swing by yours"

"Cheers Taylor, what are the plans for today, any idea?" Sawyer asks,

"Fucked if I know, if Grey was up half the night and no doubt still up now" I snigger, as Gail tuts, "Who knows if he will even make it into the office, we will just play it by ear but your priority is Ana, so where ever she goes, you go" We can't afford for anything to upset this apple cart, especially a miss hap with Ana, Sawyer nods with a chuckle.

"No problem Taylor, but I probably should fit her with a bell"

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A

I'm lying in bed on my front Christian's head is heavy on my back, his even breath warming my skin, his arms are wrapped around me and our legs are entwined, and I know I can't move... Before I even try. It's a good job we seem to have lost the bed sheets during the night, or I would have lost about half a stone in weight by now, with the heat that is radiating from him.

As my eyes slowly open, I smile, a slow serene smile. There is no where in the world I would rather be, than right here, right now. Here with Christian is where I feel I belong, an this is where I plan on staying. Last night proved without a doubt, that nothing and no one, will ever take me away from him again.

I wriggle into the bed and feel my aching muscles for the first time, oh I so need to join a gym, maybe I could start jogging? I stifle a giggle into the pillow, somehow I can't see myself running about, and the thought of visiting a gym has never appealed either. I can't see the draw of pounding a treadmill or pulling on stationary machines, exercise should be fun, like sex, if I keep having sex twice a day, surely that will be enough exercise to keep me toned and help build up my stamina.

My giggle gets louder as I flush at the memory of last night, I don't know what came over me, my inner bunny definitely took over, I just couldn't get enough of him, couldn't get close enough to him. I had such an overpowering need to please him, I chuckle, as pleasing him, usually means a lot of pleasure for myself and boy, can he please. A deep blissful sigh leaves me, as I feel Christian's lips trail up my back, his warm breath now caressing, causing goose bumps to follow his lips up my spine.

"Good morning Anastasia" his soft voice purrs, as he sweeps my hair over my shoulder and nuzzles into my neck, "Morning baby" I purr back, arching my neck towards him "I thought last night was a dream, but my aching thighs prove me wrong" I giggle softly, I feel his gratified chuckle tickle my neck, and my smile widens as my body instinctively starts to react to him. My insides start to throb and I start to wriggle under neither him, enjoying the warmth of his skin and the tingle his close contact causes,

"Oh my poor baby... Let me check out those thighs" he breathes into my ear, before rising up and rolling me over. His burning gray eyes hold mine, as I roll effortlessly into his arms, I smile up at him as I feel his erection, hard and ready nudging my thigh,

"Are you sure you didn't just run to me last night, because you're constantly horney?" I question with a giggle, as I push my thigh into him. He has, 'I want sex' written all over him, I expect a chuckle but surprisingly his cheeks flush and his eyes lower a touch, I feel a small crease to my brow at his reaction to my teasing,

"Oh no Ana... I'm ruled by a much more powerful organ than that now" he almost whispers, "My recently discovered heart" he affirms in a stronger voice, looking squarely back at me. I feel myself just melt into the bed, overjoyed by the feelings his words cause. I bring my hand up to hold his warm cheek, my other trails up and down his firm back,

"You know, considering you said you don't know how to do the romance thing, you're sure good at it" I smile as his face splits in two, with a surprised grateful grin,

"Am I now" he asks expectantly, planting a small sweet kiss on the tip of my nose,

"God Christian yes, after our time at the Fairmount, how could you even doubt yourself" I express truthfully, his brow lowers to rest on mine,

"I'm so glad neither of us have any will power" he breathes against my lips, before kissing me ardently,

"Me too" I manage to mumble, my lips as hungry as his,

"I needed you so much last night Ana" he whispers, pulling away breathlessly, he places his head on my chest, "Thank you for being here" he utters softly, as his arms tighten around me, and it all comes flooding back, I need to know,

"How are you feeling this morning Christian? Is there anything I can do to help? Are you Okay?" I ask my voice full of concern. Christian raises his head, his eyes widen a tad, shocked I think, at my sudden influx of questions, he cups my face gently,

"Ana I'm fine, after your thorough workout last night" he nuzzles back into me "I feel wonderful, you being here makes all the difference, waking up with you is truly a blessing" his head rests on my chest, I run my fingers through his hair and hold him close,

"That's not what I meant Christian, physically I can feel that you're fine, but... What about emotionally... Kate told me Elliot needed to speak to you about Elena... Did he?" my voice is quiet and tentative, I don't want to upset him, but I need to help him if I can,

"Yes... We spoke" he answers mournfully, his body sags heavily against mine and I feel his apprehension, "Yesterday on the boat... Ana I... Elliot and I have decided we need to talk to my Mother" his voice is now unsure and I feel his heart beart quicken against me, I hold him comfortingly, helping him to calm,

"Did Elliot know about you and Elena?" I whisper, sweeping his hair clear, I plant a soothing kiss on his brow,

"No... Elliot had his own... Experience with Elena" his arms tighten around me, as his voice hardens. This could go either way, I can feel his anger and tension, so I trail my hands softly up and down his back, until I feel his harsh breathing slow down and deepen,

"Did she abused him too?" I ask hesitantly, God I hope she never got near his brother, that would surely break him,

"No... Not really... She spanked him once for playing a prank on me... It never happened again, but Elliot did feel uncomfortable" his voice is shameful, sad even and my arms instinctively hold him tighter, "Elliot never mentioned it to anyone, he never thought to tell me... With my aversion to being touched... Being as young as he was, he never thought she could get that close to me" I feel his woeful huff against me, as my mind races.

"Did you tell Elliot everything about your relationship with Elena?" I ask, and I know, that he can now feel my raised heart beat against his cheek. The thought of that woman, and what she did with him... No... Don't even go there.

I feel Christian's hand caressing my side trying to ease me now, "Not everything no... I never mentioned the BDSM introduction... But he knows we had sex" his voice is thick with shame,

"What did he say about that?" I ask, even though yesterday was wonderful and I never felt or noticed any undercurrents between the two of them. I feel his head shake, an amused sigh leaves him, "Elliot laughed it off, as only Elliot could... He even teased me about how I was getting it more than him" he chuckles, genuinely amazed by his brother's reaction.

"Well that's good" I keep my voice light, as I swallow down the bile and hatred I'm feeling, with the reminder of his youthful sex life, with that sick woman,

"I was surprised by his reaction and welcomed it, but Ana... My Mother is a different matter entirely... She... She will..." he sighs heavily, unable to even voice his fears, but I feel them. His hand on my hip trembles, his heartbeat becomes erratic and I heard the desperation in his voice, I quickly reassure him,

"Christian, talking to your Mom is a good thing... She will understand, she won't judge you... Her feeling for you will not change" I feel him stiffen in my arms, this is terrifying him, and I can't blame him, it's not something he should ever have to do, "I will support you Christian, as Elliot is doing... Everything will be fine, I promise" I try to comfort,

"Oh Ana, do you really think so?... The thought of..." his voice trails off, as he raises his worried eyes to mine. I nod eagerly and cup his face, his eyes close, as he leans his warm face into my palm,

"When are you going to talk to her?" I ask, stroking his cheek with my thumb,

"At dinner... Later this week" he whispers terrified, his eyes shoot open, "Will you come with me?" he asks, his desperate eyes pleading hopefully,

"Of course I will Christian, I will always be there for you" I tell him truthfully, his face softens as the worry leaves him,

"Thank you baby, what would I do without you?" he asks with a grin, I smile lovingly up at him,

"That works both ways Christian, I would be lost without you... I'm sorry this has gotten so deep, so early in the morning" I offer apologetically, he smiles shaking his head,

"Ana, there is never a good time to talk about any of this, but having your here makes it bearable... I just wish, that it had never of happened" his shameful gaze falls, "Christian, remember none of this is your fault, she took advantage, she was in the wrong not you" I grasp and lift his chin, so his eyes meet mine, they're brighter, more hopeful, "Your Mother will understand Christian, she will never hate you or turn away from you, if that's what you're worried about" I state adamantly, he seems convinced, as he smiles broadly for the first time,

"Thank you baby, I knew I could count on you to help me make sense of all of this" he murmurs against my lips before kissing me.

I feel a pleasurable shiver run through me, my hands run through his hair, his hands start to run up my torso to my breasts but they halt, as my untimely stomach growls. Instead of kissing me further, his laughter takes over, and he leans up on his elbows,

"Come on, let's take a very quick shower, then we will see what Mrs Jones has for breakfast, you're hungry, you need to eat" he says, rolling off me and sitting up, but my body doesn't need food... Not yet,

"You're right as always Christian... Once again I'm starving" my voice is husky, I lick my lips slowly, as my eyes take all of him in, they linger on his reawakening erection, I smile seductively as my eyes meet his, and I shiver as I hold his hooded hungry eyes, I bite my lip in anticipation, as I know I've got him,

"Hold on to that thought" he purrs, as he leaps from the bed like a jungle cat, grabbing my ankle he pulls me towards him, lifting me easily off the bed.

.

As I swallow every last drop of his pleasure, his hands softly cup my head. Over the sound of the falling water, I faintly hear him softly murmur my name, over and over again. As his head rests on the tiled wall behind him, his torso is arched outwards and the water from the shower runs freely down his chest.

His chest heaves, causing the water to run down both his sides, meeting my hands at the base of his huge erection, obviously adding to his enjoyment. I know from experience, how the running water can heighten the sensation. I feel my eyes close and roll, at the memory and I can't help but suck harder on him, squeezing my thighs together, trying desperately to curb the need I have for him to touch me.

I suck and roll my tongue around him one last time, before teasingly slowly, pulling my mouth for him. I rise on to my slightly wobbly legs, kissing my way up his hard toned abs. His fingers trail softly down my back, and as I reach his chest I turn slightly into the running water and rinse my mouth. Holding my face under the warm water, Christian's hands run the water from my hair, as he lifts my face to his.

"Ana baby... I love you so much" he sighs, he tilts up my chin, kisses me hard, his tongue possessive and strong.

I smile around his lips, happy in the knowledge, I have made him so excited, made him feel so loved. He pulls away from me suddenly, his eyes hot and heavy, holding my eye he starts to slide down my body, his hands run down my sides, as he eagerly falls to his knees.

I start to chew on my bottom lip, internally clenching in anticipation of what he's about to do, I feel my breathing deepen and quicken in blatant need. Still holding eye contact he chuckles, as I feel his hand slide up my calf and rest behind my left knee, his other hands slowly runs up the back of my thigh and cups my right cheek, his firm fingers squeezing gently. I moan deeply, as he pulls my left leg, up and over his shoulder.

With his hooded burning eyes still boring into mine, his tongue hungrily teases and torments me. I roll my head back against the wall, closing my eyes, my fingers run through his hair pulling him urgently into me. as I feel his tongue posses me.

"Oh Christian" I pant, I love the way he moves, the gentle pressure he applies in all the right places, the expert touch he has, oh my... I will never get enough of this man.

I feel his tongue deepen, his hand run up my stomach and he cups my breast, rolling my throbbing nipple between his expert fingers, I feel my body start to tremble. Even under the warm titillating water, I feel the goose bumps shoot up my body after his touch. I feel his fingers slide into me, as I moan louder, my hands tighten in his hair and his vibrating moan on my clit starts me off.

My body heaves with my gasping breaths, as the internal tremors begin, he sucks on my throbbing clit, and I can't help but cry out as I succumb to him and explode around his masterful fingers.

"Oh... Christian... Yes... Yes... Yes..." he hums softly against me and my orgasm intensifies. I feel my leg buckle, as his fingers slow down then slide from me, along with his tongue. He pulls away from me with a satisfied grin, then places my raised leg back onto the floor and as he does, I slide down the wall in front of him.

As my butt hits the floor, he too sits down and his arms quickly ensnare me. I lean into him under the raining shower and revel in the afterglow of the wonderful intense orgasm, that I'm still coming down from. My vision is still slightly fuzzy but I see him descend towards me, his lips take mine and his kiss is slow, teasingly slow,

"I love you so much Ana" he purrs into my mouth, I sigh into him, as I pull him closer to me to intensify our kiss. I shuffle up to sit on his lap desperate for more, but his hands grip my hips urgently, "Whoa Ana... We can't, we don't have a condom in here" he frowns disappointed I think, that he never thought ahead, "Ana when is your period due?" he asks with no shame at all. I flush, despite feeling at ease to talk, about such personal things with him.

"Any day now" I answer regrettably, knowing our avid sex life will be put on hold for a while, he smiles reading my face,

"We need to get you to a Dr, as soon as possible, I hate having to plan... I want you where ever, when ever... I want to feel you properly... So I will arrange for a Dr to come and see you today, okay?" he states more than asks, I just nod eagerly, he had me at where ever, when ever.

"Come on, let's go and eat, even bunnies need there carrots" he teases, his erection loud and proud, despite his restraint. He stands up in front of me and offers me his hand, but I have other ideas. My bunny wants a different type of carrot, my eyes rest on the glorious sight of him in front of me and as my hands run up his thighs to claim him, his face beams,

"God Ana... What have I done to you, your insatiable" he breathes as he bites his bottom lip and the sight of him doing that, has me reeling and to his obvious delight, my mouth recaptures him once again.

, A/N PLEASE REVIEW ;)


	40. 40 Good Morning All

A/N THANKS FOR YOUR PATIENCE, WITH WORK THE WAY IT IS AT THE MO, I WILL PROBABLY ONLY BE ABLE TO UPDATE ONCE A WEEK, FROM NOW ON... SORRY... BUT I PROMISE TO MAKE THEM LONG, AND HOPEFULLY GOOD...

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx C

As I finish dressing I step from the closet, glancing in the mirror I quickly straighten my tie. I turn and look toward Ana, who is lying face down on the bed, dressed in jeans and a T-shirt. Her chin rests in her cupped palms, her fingers fan out across her cheeks, and her wide hungry blue eyes, follow every move I make.

Her soft pink tongue, trails provocatively across her luscious lips and I can't help my smile, or the twitch of my cock, at the sight of her. I chuckle inwardly, amazed at the control she has over me, how my body responds to her, without her even realizing it. She doesn't even have to be near me it seems, to get me to respond to her, just observing her lustful body language is enough.

"I guess you like what you see" I tease, enjoying the feeling of da-Javu. Her smile broadens, her eyes brighten, as she slowly appraises me from head to toe. I feel my cock swell at her blatant drooling.

"Oh without question Christian... You know... Most men just wear a suit, but you... You own it" her pupils dilate and her breathing deepens, even from across the room, I can feel her body's response to the sight of me, and inwardly I'm euphoric. To know she truly loves me and wants me, thrills me and I fight the urge to just take her back to bed.

"I can't think of a more beautiful sight, then you in a suit" she breathes, I notice her soft cheeks flush under her fingers, as she wriggles into the bed. As I walk towards her and sit on the edge, I desperately hide my grin. I know she has probably just had other images of me, very enjoyable naked images, and she can't hide her arousal, I chuckle as she breaths dreamily.

"Are you sure I couldn't just come to work with you?" she asks with a giggle, "I promise to just sit at a desk all day ogling you, you wouldn't even have to acknowledge me, I will just admire you from afar, You wouldn't even have to put me on the payroll" she jokes, I laugh openly, God... She doesn't realise how appealing that is, or how much I want to say yes. I run my hand over her head, fanning my fingers around the back of her neck, slowly stroking her warm soft skin with my thumb, her neck arches into my palm.

"As tempting as that is Ana, I honestly don't think I would get any work done at all, it was hard enough last time" I suddenly have an image of her bobbing about in my office, in her whites with paint in her hair. Even then, she mesmerized me, there isn't a hope in hell, that I would be able to ignore her now and apply myself fully to my working day. I lean in and kiss her brow, I don't trust myself, or her, to risk anything more.

"If you were there with me baby, I would not be concentrating on work, believe me" I confess truthfully, she smile's, but her eyes look a tad disappointed. I chuckle, feeling totally elated, I've created a monster, how could she still be horney, as she puts it. After the last hour in the shower, surely she should be sleeping, but no, her sexual appetite, appears to rival mine, and I love her all the more for it.

"Would I really be that distracting?" she asks, her eyes large with surprise, I shake my head awed, she has no idea how desirable and enticing she is, her lack of vanity is refreshing, her natural beauty is so irresistible.

"Ana baby, you are far too distracting, it's going to be hard enough getting back into the swing of things, after being alone in our bubble for so long, without the added distraction of having you with me" I risk a kiss, and thankfully her mind is preoccupied with my confession, for her not to take full advantage.

"Even though I would love you to, because I'm gonna miss you today" I whisper honestly, her eyes meet mine,

"Me too" she breaths with a sad frown, "Eight hours is a long time" she mutters, more to herself I think, and I feel light headed knowing she will also miss me,

"I will be home some enough" I ease, I daren't confess, to her or myself, that I probably won't last the full eight hours, I don't want to leave her now, so how will I ever last the entire day without her?. "Come on, lets go and eat" I say, knowing that if I keep thinking of our time apart, my resolve will crumble. Taking her hand, I stand, then pull her up off the bed, her arms wrap around my waist, as mine do the same, her gorgeous blue eyes look up to mine.

"I will be waiting right here for you" she declares, placing her cheek against my chest, her arms tighten around me. I feel my heart beat pounding against her, oh the warmth I feel is heavenly. Holding her just as tightly, I kiss the top of her head and with closed eyes, I breath as deeply as I can, trying to commit her heady scent to memory enough, to last me the entire day.

"I love you so much Ana, thank you for coming over here last night" I gush helplessly, her running to me and proving to me, how much she missed me, has me overwhelmed. I love her more and more, each and every day, which only confounds me more.

"Don't thank me, nothing can keep me from you now" her tone is desperate, then she suddenly smiles. That adorable, an alluring twinkle, that she can't yet hide, returns to her bright eyes. "Thank you for this morning" she purrs, as I chuckle, "We should start every day like this" she offers hopefully, biting her luscious bottom lip and I can't help but voice my desperately needy, inner yearnings.

"We could... Every single day... If you moved in here with me" I hesitantly mutter, I feel her slight surprised jolt in my arms and I see her eyes cloud, as my desperate request sinks in.

Her perfect teeth chew worryingly on her bottom lip, I feel her hesitation and even though it hurts like hell, because I want her here with me so badly, I don't want to rush her. So I tease to lighten her obvious distress, "Shall I not bother to clear you out some closet space then?" her face softens with her smile, she appears a little relieved.

"Maybe just a drawer for now" she offers with a flush, I nod, feeling thankful that she hasn't, as Kate would put it, freaked out, or to my immense relief, said no.

"What ever you want baby" I smile, maybe I could move in with her, I suddenly realises.

"Thank you Christian, I love you and need to be close to you, please don't think otherwise, but it still feels a little too soon, but I promise to spend every night with you, whether that be in my bed, or here in your bed, we will just take each day as it comes and just see what happens... Okay?" she asks, her voice soft but adamant, I nod, not caring about the details.

She said she will be with me, every single night, and that's good enough for me. I lean into her and kiss her slowly, needfully, savouring every caress of her slow sensually moving tongue. I instinctively pull her closer to me wanting more, then mentally chastise myself, as my cock swells instantly and I feel her hands run up my back into my hair.

I pull away quickly before it can get any more heated. I'm worried my body will win the battle, it's been having with my head for the last ten minutes, and I will just drag her back to bed, and no doubt blow off my first day back into the office, in over a week.

I step back shaking my head clear, closing my eyes, breathing deeply, I count slowly to five, trying to bring my body back to heel. I hear Ana's faint giggle, and I smile slowly as I open my eyes. Thinking more clearly now, my resolve back in place, I step away further. Taking her hand I lead her towards the bedroom door.

"Come on, let's have some breakfast before I go, you need to eat" I mutter, as we head out of the room. Getting us out of the bedroom can only help. God no one has ever affected me like this, she reaches me so deeply.

As we walk, I can't help but fidget, trying to fix my uncomfortably tight trousers. Trying desperately to get rid of my ever present erection, God what this woman can do to me.

.

As we head into the kitchen hand in hand, Gail is busy making fresh coffee, Taylor and Sawyer are seated at the far end of the breakfast bar arguing over the latest baseball game, as they notice our entrance, Gail goes into autopilot.

"Good morning Mr Grey, Miss Steele, What can I get you both for breakfast?" her voice is cheerful, her face beams. She glances between the two of us, undeniable delight on her face, at seeing us both together. I smile brightly back at her, leading Ana over to the breakfast bar, as I pull out a stool for her, I reply,

"I'd like an omelette please Gail" I request, suddenly feeling very hungry. "Ana what would you like?" I ask her, as she climbs up onto her stool,

"An omelette sounds great, thank you" she agrees with a smile. As Gail starts to busy herself, I head over to the kettle and switch it on,

"Toast and bacon?" Gail offers,

"Please" Ana and I both answer at the same time, Gail chuckles and tries to hide her laughter by turning and hiding her jovial face in the fridge. Ana and I share a look, and I feel it, we both do, and I know I would be so lost without her now.

Looking away and shaking my head clear, I smile as I pour myself a coffee, and as the kettle begins to boil, I start to rummage through the cupboards.

"Mr Grey, may I assist you?" Gail asks urgently, eager to stop me ransacking her well organised cupboards,

"Where did you hide Ana's tea?" I ask as Gail's cheeks flush, "Ana drinks tea, not coffee" I remind her,

"Of course Sir, sorry Miss Steele" Gail apologises, quickly turning to the cupboard beside me and digging out the box of tea bags,

"It's fine Gail, don't worry" Ana comforts "And please... Call me Ana" she stresses, Gail glances at me, then nods at Ana with an appreciative smile, and I see a realisation and a look, of what will no doubt become friendship, pass between them.

I suddenly realise, that it pleases me to know Ana and Gail will get along, I don't know why, maybe Ana was right all along when she teased me about loving Gail and Taylor. I would most certainly be very upset, if anything ever happened to either one of them, so yes, I feel my extended family getting bigger and I can't help but smile brightly.

"Please sit down, Mr Grey, I will make Ana's tea" Gail's voice brings me back to the kitchen, I nod and take my seat next to Ana. Her hand covers mine as she smiles.

Taylor rises and walks towards me, offering me the morning papers, I shake my head not interested, I notice his eyebrow twitch. My usual routine, is to study all the business sections of the morning papers over breakfast, preparing myself for the day ahead but with Ana beside me, I don't need the distraction, so I will look at them later. Taylor nods as he turns away and gestures to Luke, he also rises and they both head out of the kitchen towards Taylor's office.

"Taylor" Ana calls after him, I glance between the two of them with slight confusion, what could Ana possibly have to say to Taylor?, "Thank you for picking me up some of my things" Ana says gratefully. Realisation dawns, Yes, I should thank him too, now Ana has no reason to go home. He turns to Ana and nods politely with an amused smirk,

"Not a problem Miss Steele, I also returned your van and brought over your car" I see Ana roll her eyes, I frown as Taylor chuckles, does she not like her car?

"I have a message for you Miss Steele, from your roommate" Taylor states, his tone is professional but the amusement in his eyes gives hi humour away,

"You do?" Ana asks, a hint of embarrassment in her tone, Taylor glances my way before he continues,

"Yes Miss Steele, she told me to tell you... That your lack of restraint is appalling, that you should have at least of shown some pretence of will power" Ana flushes, biting her bottom lip obviously embarrassed, but I can't help feeling elated. I gave in too, she isn't entirely to blame, we would have ended up together last night, no matter what.

"She also mentioned, that if she had of realised that you would have given in so easily, She would have, as per your request, nailed all the doors and windows shut" Ana giggles, glancing at me, and I chuckle with her,

"Some how Taylor, I don't think that was her entire message" Ana laughs, knowing her friend very well "How many profanities did you leave out" Taylor can't hide his amusement and laughs openly, he turns and nods respectfully to the both of us as he turns to leave. He nods at Sawyer, and they both head out of the kitchen.

So Kate tried, as Elliot did, to instil the need for separation... Space... Time apart... No sorry... The thought does not appeal in the slightest. I notice Gail's wide smile, while she is busy at the stove, and feel myself grin. As I turn to Ana, she flushes deeply when our eyes meet and I feel for her, but she should feel no embarrassment for wanting to be with me so badly. My feelings outweigh all rhyme and reason, when it comes to Ana, and I revel in it. I change the subject to hide her unease,

"Do you not like your C70?" I ask, "I can change it, if you would prefer something else but the Swedes do..."

"My what?" she asks confused,

"Your car" I clarify as she giggles,

"Christian, it looks lovely and will be great to drive I'm sure but I don't really need it. My van will be sufficient for work and my Beatle is f..." I cut her off, the thought of her driving that archaic relic terrifies me,

"Ana it's a total death trap, it probably doesn't even have air bags, structurally it's..." my voice falters as I'm cut short by the sound of a ringing phone.

Ana's purse is on the sofa behind us, undoubtedly containing the interrupting phone. Sliding off her bar stool, she heads over and digs about in her purse, ultimately putting an end to our conversation. As Ana pulls out an old phone, and not the new one I gave her, my brow furrows and irritation irks me. She will have to swap all her numbers over as soon as possible, how can I possibly track her, and know she is safe, if she is still carrying around that old thing. I notice Ana smile as she answers her phone.

"Hello, Anastasia Steele, how can I help you... Oh hello Gia... Yes... Yes of course I can... That sounds important are you sure that... Oh that's great... I will wait to hear from you... I'm sorry... Why didn't you say hello... Oh I see... Yes, okay that's fine... See you soon and thank you Gia" As Ana hangs up, she looks at me her beautiful face alive with excitement, and I'm eager to know what Miss Matteo had to say to please her so much. As Ana climbs back onto her stool, I start to question.

"I guess that was Gia Matteo... What did she want?" I ask, keeping my voice even, trying hard not to give my anxiety away. Gail helps by placing our breakfast in front of us, causing a distraction for both of us. She glances cautiously at me, before refilling my coffee and fetching Ana's tea. Her eyes seem wary, as she again glances my way, I understand her wary look. Don't worry Gail... I won't let this get heated, I mentally confirm. I smile reassuringly, as she heads out of the room towards Taylors office.

"Gia has some work for me, she needs my help and input on a large project she has coming up. We are going to meet up in a day or so, and go over the outline for the job, then meet up with the client towards the end of the week, to share our thoughts and ideas. I can't wait... It will be so good to get back into work" Ana's excited voice gushes. This phone call from Gia, has obviously pleased her, but I feel differently.

"What project?" I ask quickly, it had better not take her out of town,

"A hotel here in Seattle, it needs some updating" she explains, digging into her breakfast, I follow her actions blindly eating,

"What hotel?" I ask, while mentally recalling all the major hotels in Seattle,

"I'm not sure yet... I will let you know all the details, when I do" she eases me with a wide smile, "Did you know Gia was at the benefit the other night?" Ana asks, I nod minutely, feeling uneasy at the memory of seeing her talking to Elena,

"I saw her from across the room, before you and Kate arrived" I mutter, my brow furrowing as it occurs to me, that I never saw her again after that,

"She didn't stay for dinner, just made a donation, circulated at bit then left" Ana answers my unspoken question, "It would have been nice to have said hello to her, but never mind, we can catch up soon enough" Ana eats heartily, unaware of my worry. Gia is a strong opinionated woman, she hasn't got where she is today, by being gracious. I have never really taken to her, and after seeing her with Elena, my opinion of Miss Matteo has receded even lower.

"Well that would explain why I never noticed her again" I mumble, Ana nods still eating.

"Ana baby, please be careful Gia can be..." I try to forewarn, but Ana's chirpy voice interrupts me,

"Christian, this is Gia were talking about, you know her, you've worked with her. If it wasn't for her I would never have met you, don't forget she recommended me to Mia" Ana's words fail to convince me,

"I know that Ana and I will be forever grateful to her and to Mia... But I don't trust her baby" she smiles up at me, trying to ease my concern, it's not working. Truth be known, I don't really want Gia anywhere near Ana. The thought of them together irks me, how do I keep Ana safe? Seeing Gia with Elena has shaken me more than I first realised, I never even knew that they were acquainted.

"It will be fine Christian but if it helps, I promise to keep Luke with me at all time... I just hope he knows how to use a roller" she jokes, trying to ease me, I nod in agreement, pleased at her unintentional compromise. Knowing Sawyer will be present helps but it still doesn't quash the uneasy feeling I have about this whole thing.

"You don't have to work Ana" I remind her, it's not like we need the money, I mentally joke. "You have expressed your love for publishing, why not wait until something better suited to your degree comes along" I suggest hopefully,

"I do love publishing Christian... But surprisingly, I really enjoy decorating too" my eyebrows lift, I can't see the appeal myself. She chuckles at my expression, "Christian I love the whole physical graft of the job, love seeing the transformation and effect that adding a splash of colour can do..." she smiles brightly knowing her point is valid after what she did here, I nod in understanding.

"Also... A part of me loves the idea of seeing so many other homes... Not that anything could every possible top Escala, this place is wonderful, though your parent's home comes a close second, your family home is beautiful Christian" I chuckle at the thought of knowing they are the only two jobs she has had, then an idea occurs,

"Why don't we have a look around... See if there is anything for sale in the area close to my Mom and Dads" I offer, I always hoped to live on the sound one day, now seems like the perfect time, "If we find something, you could work on it from the ground up, get Elliot and his crew to help, you would have total control over the entire project" that would keep her busy and away from Gia. Ana's eyes widen in shock, at the realisation of what I have just offered, and I have to bite my lip to hide my amusement, at her stunned goldfish impression.

"Christian... You can't just buy a house... To give me something to do" she mutters sounding bemused,

"Why ever not?" I state, as Ana shakes her head shocked "Baby it would be a wise investment... Plus it would be an amazing centre piece for your portfolio" I add as an afterthought, if work is important, I can help her with that,

"You're serious aren't you?" she asks her voice awed, I nod eagerly, my face grinning, "You do know, that you have more money than sense don't you?" she mutters as she shakes her head still totally thrown. I laugh heartily,

"Where you are concerned, yes I do" I answer as I lean to her and kiss her brow, "Don't forget... There is a certain room here... That needs a touch up and a clear out" I whisper close to her ear. I see and feel Ana's flush, as her eyes shoot to mine in recollection of our conversation, "I remember arranging a verbal contract... With a certain contractor... Are you renegading on our deal... Miss Steele" I continue to whisper seductively,

"You're serious?... You really want me to change your playroom?" she seems flabbergasted, I nod truthfully, she has free rein over that room, I notice her eyes widen, then she flushes looking at her plate,

"Ana baby" I lift her chin, and hold her hesitant blue eyes, "I want you to feel comfortable here... If my playroom upsets you in any way... Especially after meeting Patricia and knowing... All the sordid details of what went on in there... Then it can go" I say adamantly, she could burn it to the ground for all I care,

"But Christian... That room is important to you, why would you..." I silence her with a swift kiss,

"Ana, you are important to me... More so, than any room... It has hardly entered my head since I've met you" and it's true. The control and confines of that room, hold little appeal now that I have Ana,

"Hardly..." I hear Ana whisper, picking up on my one slipped encouraging word. She looks up at me with intrigued hungry eyes, oh no... Go back to sleep little bunny. I chuckle,

"I would still love to play with you Ana... Of course I would" I tell her, her eyes hood slightly before her teeth claim her lip. Which is a bad move, as images start to flash before my eyes, I feel my cock once again respond to her, I stand up before I get too uncomfortable or give in.

"I want you to feel at ease, if ever we decide to go in there... So please, feel free to look around properly... If there is anything you don't like the look of... Or thought of... Then it can go, I will leave everything up to you" Ana nods numbly stunned again, but her eyes still hold her desire. I take and stack our dishes and place them in the nearby sink, trying to think of anything, other than Ana in my playroom, taking a deep breath I turn towards her,

"I need to head out baby... I will have my phone with me all day if you need anything, plus you have Taylor's number for anything else, and please start using your new phone, transfer everything over to it and keep it with you". Now composed, she nods, "Gail can help you with anything you need around here... But please baby... If you go anywhere, Sawyer must accompany you" she nods as her brain ticks away, I smile as I head towards her.

She turns on her stool to face me, her warm eyes suddenly sad and I step into her. I place both my hands on her cheeks and lean in and kiss her softly, I rest my brow on hers, "I will be home as soon as I can okay" I breathe and I don't know if it's to ease her or myself, as I really don't want to go, she nods against my hands. I kiss her brow before I step reluctantly away, her face brightens, but she understands my anxiety and cups my cheek. Standing and stepping towards me, she offers me her soft lips, which I gratefully take.

Our kiss starts off slow, full of comfort and reassurance, then turns into something much more needful and as we both start to react, she surprisingly ends our kiss and steps back. Her eyes are bright, her body awakened and I internally praise her restraint.

"Don't worry about me Christian I have a few things to keep me busy today and I promise to keep Luke close" her words comfort a little and allow me to step away further. I call for Taylor, who appears quickly,

"Are you ready to go Sir?" he asks, I nod slowly as he turns and heads out to grab my things,

"I will miss you baby... Don't forget, any problems just call me... Okay?" I step forward and pull her into my arms, holding her tight against my chest "I will drop everything for you" I murmur into her hair, the dread of leaving her creeping back into me,

"I'll miss you too" she whispers, her eyes wistful,

"I won't be home late... I promise" she nods against me as Taylor re-enters the room,

"Ready when ever you are Sir" he says from behind me. I nod and release Ana, but kiss her forehead hard, my lips lingering,

"I love you" I whisper, before I turn away quickly, and reluctantly follow Taylor out of the room.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A

Christian has only been gone for half an hour and the entire apartment echo's without him. A cold empty chill runs through the place, sending a shiver down my spine. As Gail clears things away in the kitchen, I sit numbly at the breakfast bar. Hugging my tea cup, trying to seek some type of solace from the warm china cup, my mind wanders. I can't believe how much I miss him, how empty I feel without him next to me. I thought I was joking, when I asked to go to work with him, I realise now that I wasn't.

The thought of being without him all day opens a hole in me, that I can't even begin to fathom how to fill, his absence feels so heavy. Pulling my gaze from the cup in my hands, I watch Gail busy in her chores, for a much needed distraction from the gloom that is descending over me. As Gail hovers in front of me, my eyes meet hers, her happy face is comforting, she smiles softly, her eyes tender,

"He will be missing you too you know" she says with a sympathetic smile, "Don't feel sad, the day will pass quickly" she coos, while gently patting my hands. She gestures to the stool opposite me, I nod inviting her to sit down,

"Are my feelings that obvious" I mumble woefully, before finishing my tea. She nods giggling as she climbs up onto her stool, I notice her face is beaming, her eyes are bright and eager,

"Oh Ana... I'm so glad you're here... I'm so happy for you both" she says cheerfully, I can't help smiling with her, her sunny disposition is contagious. "You have brought out such a wonderful man... I knew his cold hard demeanour... Was just a front, the love he has shown..." I feel my eyebrows lift, as I fight to control my proud smile, she flushes suddenly. "I'm so sorry Ana... I shouldn't be... Forgive my..." she stutters, a worried look crosses her face. I shake my head compassionately,

"No please Gail tell me... I'd love to know how you feel... You must see the change in him more than anyone... Being so close to him, your opinion matters to me" and it does. She obviously worries about him, loves him and knows him so well, I need her assurance, stupidly my doubts do still niggle me now and then. We are so different, from different backgrounds, it's so overwhelming sometimes what we have found together. The couple of weeks I have known him, have been amazing but I just worry that our love couldn't possibly be enough. I see her worry lift, as she smiles gratefully,

"I knew that behind all the pain and sorrow... There was a good man, a loving man... Despite his weekend visitors" Gail flushes nervously, "He was so lonely... So empty, he carried so much pain with him... You have changed all that" she states adamantly,

"Yes he certainly has a lot of baggage" I chuckle rolling my eyes, recalling all the things he has been through,

"Which you seem to be riding him off" she announces proudly,

I smile reveling in her optimism, "I've tried" I chuckle,

"It's working Ana believe me... In four years of observing him and his... Visitors, no one has every reached him like you have. He has never shown any one of them, anything more than common courtesy... He loves you Ana... I'm so glad you love him too" her voice cracks as her eyes start tearing up,

"Oh stop woman, you will have me crying it in a minute" I tease close to the truth, her embarrassment leaves her, as she dabs at her eyes. I swallow the lump that is forming in my throat. The thought of how Christian was before I met him hurts, especially because of the wonderful man he is now. He was obviously so lonely, my heart still pains for him, and so does Gail's apparently,

"You love him like a son, don't you?" I ask with a smile, she laughs heartily,

"Jason is always reminding me that I'm not his mother" she confesses with a flush,

"He's lucky to have you Gail" I tell her truthfully, thankful she has been here for him over the years,

"No Ana... He is lucky to have found you... You've made him so happy and I will be forever grateful to you" she pats my hand before squeezing it,

"He's very easy to love Gail" I tell her, then confide. "It's more than that though... I feel him, I connect with him... I react to him in every way and... I know he feels the same, I just..."

"You're right Ana, don't ever doubt that... If you knew him before, you would understand and have no doubts about your relationship... Or the effect you have had on him. You have obviously heard, about how cold, isolated and distant he was. How angry he can be, you have seen first hand" she reminds me as I recall the first time we met. When he caught me, when he yelled at me... When he scared me. A weight lifts and I smile at the realisation, that all the fear and doubt I have in us, has vanished completely, I love him... I trust him... I need him.

"He loves you Ana, you have helped change him so much, but..." a worried look takes over her face and my brow furrow at her sudden doubt,

"What is it?" I ask slightly apprehensive,

"Ana please... Don't tell Mr Grey I said this... But... Mr Grey has never been in this type of relationship before, never been in love before... I... I'm not too sure how he is going to handle such strong emotions... He knows sadness, pain... Loneliness but what you have brought to him... Is all so new to him" her eyes sadden as they hold mine, "I just worry... That he will be unable to control certain parts of what has been his character for so long... Forgive me, if I have spoken out of turn but Ana... Please be patient with him, over look his initial reactions... If they are displeasing, please give him a chance" she smiles lightening our fears with her teasing, as this all started with a chance,

"I took your advice once before Gail and it paid off... So yes... I promise to have patience and support him, but most of all... I promise to love him" we smile broadly at each other and only now, do I realise our hands are holding over the breakfast bar, I chuckle "Thank you Gail... For caring so much about him... If it's any comfort, I know that you and Taylor mean a lot to him too... But don't ever tell him I told you so" I wink, as she giggles,

"My lips are sealed Ana"

"As are mine Gail... As our mine"

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx C

As we pull into the GH underground car park, I can't help the rush of adrenaline that floods through me. I am keen to see how things have been running while I have been absent, but suddenly it hits me... This place doesn't seem as important as it always has. Everything seems to have shifted to make way for Ana. Everything has dropped down a rung or two... To place Ana at the forefront.

The challenge of conquering the business world, seems shallow now, in comparison to making Ana happy... Spending time with her, beats any board room confrontation that I use to revel in... Thrive on... Live for. My company, has been the centre of my world for the past seven years. I have lived, breathed and worshipped this place... Nothing has ever come close to the thrill of accomplishment and pride, that this place has brought me... But now... Work seems so unimportant.

Ana outshines everything now.

After such a short time of knowing her, she has changed my life completely. I smile whole heartedly as I step out of the car and head for my private elevator. I will take a leaf out of Ana's book today and get in... Get done... Get out.

.

As the elevator doors slide open, Taylor and I step forward and head for my office. Andrea, is seated at her desk opposite us and instantly jumps up from her seat as she notices my arrival,

"Good morning Andrea" I greet her warmly, heading towards her, her face drops, her eyes widen, as she glances at Taylor beside me,

"Good morning to you Mr Grey" she answers in a surprised tone. What... Have I never said 'good morning' before? Then I chuckle, as I probably never have. Andrea hands me a pile of messages, before sitting herself back down. I notice Ros out the corner of my eye, heading our way,

"Good morning Ros?" I repeat just as friendly. Ros appears just as stunned, but it doesn't last long. Her eyebrow shoots up and a smirk takes her lips,

"What do you mean good morning... It's nearly 11am, nothing much left of it... Where in the hell have you been? And what was last week all about?" she demands. I ignore her annoyance and simply chuckle, recalling the reason for my absence and why I am indeed... Very late arriving into the office... Oh yes... Every morning should start with Ana in the shower, I will never be able to shower without her again. I notice Ros's dumbfounded look, as she just stares at me, she turns to Taylor,

"What in the hell has happened to him?" she asks him. I just stand and bounce my gaze between the two of them, I feel the stupid grin widen on my face,

"I am not at liberty to say, Miss Bailey" Taylor replies in his authoritative tone but he can't hide his smirk,

"He got laid didn't he?" Ros states gobsmacked, I vaguely hear Andrea gasp,

"I am still here you know" I remind them with a chuckle, Ros turns to me suddenly,

"Come on... Who is she?" she demands, I shake my head with a smug smile and head away towards my office. "Taylor... Who is she? Tell me" I hear Ros mutter,

"Have you not seen the press?" Taylor asks sounding astonished,

"No... I have a life outside of here, I had a very busy weekend... Plus I had to deal with the press, not study it, I let Sam deal with most of it... I just issued..." their voices drift away as I enter my office.

I freeze as I enter the room, my eyes widen and I feel my face spit into an even bigger grin, as I see the canvas prints on the wall. "Wow... Taylor did good..." I mutter to myself, as I take in the blue wall in front of me. It is exactly how I imagined it would be, I feel like she's here with me. The candid, freeze frame shots are arranged in order, giving me a full reminder of our perfect day, it is played out in front of me to relive time and time again. I flop into my chair, letting the feelings and emotions Ana's images cause wash over me.

My serenity is short lived though, as Taylor and Ros enter the room. As Taylor enters, I smile my appreciation and he nods subtly in understanding. As Ros enters, she gasps loudly and stares blatantly at the wall, her jaw slightly limp, her eyes wide,

"Well fuck me" she mutters, I hear Taylor chuckle, but I feel a slight frown crease my brow. "Wow... Now I understand the distraction and the reason for the sudden AWOL... She is mighty fine" Ros salivates. Walking over to the wall, she runs her fingers slowly along a photo, caressing Ana's chin, "We will be working in here... A lot" she teases, I think... My frown deepens at her innuendo and the twinkle she has to her eye, annoys me,

"Don't even think about her Ros" I snap defensively, sounding like a petulant child. She laughs heartily, genuinely amused by my worry,

"Don't worry Christian... I'm in love with my Gwen... You are too, by the looks of it... Wow Christian" she mumbles "How hard have you banged your head" her eyes are transfixed as she stands in front of a shot of Ana and I on the ferry. Ana is in my arms leaning back against my chest, we are leaning over the railings of the boat, windswept and laughing, we both look so happy carefree, it is one of my favourite shots, it's also my new screen saver.

Taylor chuckles attracting Ros's attention "What's she like Taylor? Looks like she's got him by the short and curlys" she teases, I can't help but snigger, oh if only she knew...

"Out now... Both of you" I demand in an amused tone, Ros's eyebrows lift as she turns to me,

"We have things to discuss" she sings childishly, almost sticking out her tongue,

"Later... I have things to do first" I say, looking past her at the images on the wall,

"I bet you do" Ros drools, following my gaze. She glances at Taylor "Tell me how they met" she asks curiously,

"Get out now" I snap, attempting to sound stern, "I don't pay you both to gossip... Especially about me... Go now... Or your both fired" they both turn to me with raised eyebrows, I chuckle. Yes... They both know how invaluable they are, they are the only two people I could never get rid of. I shake my head with a grin,

"Out" I stand and point to the door,

"Wow Taylor... He's got it bad" Ros mumbles, as they turn to leave,

"You're not kidding Ros... Google the benefit from last week... You'll wet yourself" Taylor mutters back conspiritualy,

"OUT NOW" I finally shout, "And shut the door behind you Ros" she does so, but not without giving me a wicked grin. God that woman drives me crazy.

As I relax back into my chair, I put my feet up on my desk and smile longingly at my homage, "God... I can't wait to go home".

A/N Please Review...


	41. 41 A Wistful Monday

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A

As Gail goes about her daily routine I head off to the bedroom. The case that Taylor so kindly brought over for me this morning, is on the floor of Christian's closet, opened and dishevelled after my getting dressed earlier. I may as well unpack my things, make myself at home, I smile at the thought, I love being here, I feel like I belong here. Even when I was working here alone, I felt the place. It's strange though, how the place changes without Christian, it looses something in his absence, it feels like home with him here, I smile to myself, as I head into the closet.

Pushing Christian's suit jackets further along the rail, I make a little room for what I have. I hang my jeans and fresh T-shirts up in the closet, along with a few casual but smart outfits, that Kate has obviously put together for me. I can't help my giggle at the sight of them, sitting next to rows and rows of crisp expensive suits and shirts, they look so out of place. His casual clothes are on the opposite side of the room, maybe my clothes would look less conspicuous over there? No... I want him to notice them.

Opening a drawer to find a home for my smalls, I gasp, as I spot a pair of old, worn out, faded jeans. I moan involuntarily at the mental image I have just envisioned, of how Christian would look in these jeans. He would look hot... Sexy as hell... The totally hot sweaty, rippling... Bad boy... Oh my... I close the drawer quickly.

Our underwear now shares the drawer below, our things neatly pressed together. In the bathroom, our toothbrushes, sit side by side in the same cup, my toiletries are mixed together with his in the shower. As I place my favourite book, which I was reading at home, on the bedside table, I shake my head with a chuckle, at the thought that Kate misses and forgets nothing.

Hopefully when Christian sees all of my things settled in here, he might not worry too much about ever having to sleep alone, or fret that I might still leave him, as I know he still does. Every now and then, I see the total bewilderment in his eyes, then flashes of panic, I know he still doubts himself, believes that all of this will be taken away from him, just like me, he probably feels like this is all a dream.

Sitting on the bed looking around the room, my eyes are drawn to the recently painted grey wall. I smile at the intended purpose of the colour, the representation, well... He is certainly grounded now, totally at ease with himself, more comfortable with others, a changed man, a happier man.

As I leave the bedroom I head for the library, I need a distraction, something to kill a few hours to help the day pass by quicker. I found solace in his library the last time I was here, and I'm keen to have a closer look. As I mooch through the shelves of amazing books, all of which I have mentally noted to take time out to read. I am awed by the fact that he seems to have so many first editions, well truthfully I think they all are, and with his Madonna's in the hallway, why shouldn't they be, I forget how affluent he is.

I feel a frown cross my brow, as I sit down in one of the large comfy leather chairs. Will his wealth ever really be an issue between us? Locked away in our bubble in the hotel or here, in his tower high in the sky, totally lost in each other, you don't really feel it. Day to day, you forget all the trappings but will that differ over time? Will it cause a wedge between us? I hope not. My musings are starting to depress me. Thankfully, and with perfect timing, I faintly hear my phone ringing and leaping from the chair, very grateful for the distraction, I eagerly run to the kitchen.

I shake my head with a smile, as I pick up my phone. "God he doesn't waste any time" I mutter to myself, as I open and read his text.

'Hi baby... A Dr Green, will be calling within the hour... I miss you... I will be home early, I don't have the will power for an entire day... I Love you, Christian. Xx'

I chuckle feeling exhilarated by his words, I miss him so much too, even after only a few hours. As I start to write my reply, my other phone in my purse starts to ring, "God this is getting silly now" I mumble with a chuckle, I will have to sort these phones out. I smile as I see it's my Mom. Heading to the sofa, I curl up and accept her call, my thumbs still very busy texting Christian.

'You are so keen... I will await their arrival... Love and miss you too... So glad you will power sucks like mine... I love You.. Ana. Xxx'

As I press send, I smile and gush at my Mom, "Hi Mom, how you doing?" I sing song at her,

"I'm a fine baby girl, I'm glad to see there are no new pictures of you smooching on TV" she teases, but it's an apparent way for her to start the inquisition, that she no doubt has planned,

"Me too Mom, we save all our smooching for when we are at home now" I tease, but also letting her know, that were gonna talk boys. I tuck my feet in under me, leaning back into the sofa getting comfy,

"I goggled him you know" she whispers shamefully, as I burst out laughing,

"You mean google Mom" I manage to get out, in-between amused gasping breaths,

"What ever Anastasia" she snaps, sounding slightly embarrassed, "He is quiet the catch Ana... Tell me all about him" she asks curiously,

"Oh Mom... He's wonderful, kind, intelligent, strong..." I reply dreamily, swooning like a teenager, until my Mom cuts me off,

"He's very rich Ana" she mutters warily, in a quiet apprehensive voice,

"Mom... As if that would matter, that is so far down the list... I really think I would prefer him penniless" I tell her truthfully, amazed at that sudden realization,

"You would?" she asks sounding surprised,

"Yes... It's very intimidating, knowing he can do or buy anything he wants, on the slightest whim. His money doesn't make him Mom... I never realised how wealthy he was, but as I said, his money isn't important" and it's not,

"You both look so good together... Will I get to meet him?" she asks enthusiastically,

"Of course, not sure when though... We could fly down sometime soon, it would be good to see you Mom, I miss you" and I do, and I have just realised I want her to meet Christian. I hear her wistful sigh,

"I miss you so much baby girl, make your visit soon... You should call your Dad you know, he would have seen the press too" she utters tentatively,

"I've been waiting for his call" I mutter,

"He might still be seething too much... To speak to you" she teases, but I bite my lip instinctively, knowing her teasing is close to home. Dad is very over protective to say the least, he was no doubt shocked to see my public display of affection, I am a little surprised he hasn't contacted me,

"I will... I will call him... After I have spoken to you" I mumble, not sounding convincing at all, Mom giggles in my ear, understanding my reluctance,

"Well... Make sure you ring him today, get it over and done with... It will be fine don't worry. I need to get to bed now sweetheart, so call me later, if you're still alive" she chuckles "And Ana... I'm so happy for you darling, you look so happy in those pictures and radiant on the TV" she gushes emotionally,

"I am Mom, truly... I love him... Now wish me luck with Dad" I plead, she laughs and with her love and good luck, she hangs up.

As I reluctantly scroll for Dad's number in my phone, my heart beat pounds. This will be so hard... Dad will go...

"Excuse me Ana" Gail's voice sounds from nearby. I glance up, as she heads towards me "Sorry to bother you, but a Dr Green, is on her way up to see you" she informs me, her tone tinged with concern,

"Oh... Thanks Gail" I breath evenly, thankful for the reprieve from having to speak to my Dad. I will leave that dreaded conversation for another time. I get up from the sofa,

"Is everything alright Ana?" Gail questions, her eyes troubled, "Can I help you in any way?" she offers, obviously worried by a Dr's visit,

"No, I'm fine Gail, the Dr is here... For... We... I... " And my face flames, as she giggles,

"Sorry... Of course" she shuffles backwards "I will show her in" she turns away, as we hear the elevator sound.

.

Dr Green was extremely efficient, very informative and rather heavy handed. I rub my arm comfortingly, where she gave me my contraceptive shot. We both agreed this was the best option for me, as timed tablets would be too much for me to think about. This way we can play away, without having to worry. I even get a text alert reminding me of my follow up jabs, so easy. With it also being the first day of my cycle, we are good to go, once my period has finished obviously.

It suddenly occurs to me, that I have never had sex without a condom. Will it be so different? It has to be surely. I wonder just how different. Christian feels amazing now, but admittedly, he does feel so much better in the flesh. When I touch him, I feel the heat from him, the strength in him, I enjoy the feel of his soft throbbing veins, I love to feel the pulse when I grip him tightly... his... Yes... He certainly feels differently, once I have sheathed him in a condom. I sit back on the sofa day dreaming.

In all the times, I ever imagined having sex, it never came close to what I have shared and experienced with Christian. He is an amazing lover, granted, I have no comparison, but I know what I feel and I have never felt, or even come close, to any of the feelings that I have experienced with him. He's perfect.

I love everything about him, his strong physical aura of power, his toned, hard, defined body is a masterpiece. He radiates confidence and oozes sex appeal... Yet he is so soft... So caring... So considerate... So mine... Oh how lucky can one girl get... Our sex life is well... Amazing, and the play factor... Just adds to it all.

My interest and curiosity are sparked, as the red room comes to mind. I rise quickly from the chair, leaving the library, I head to the utility room and grabbing Gail's keys, I head upstairs.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx C

As the meeting drags on and on, my boredom deepens. God, I can't concentrate at all, my mind is all over the place, I keep finding myself daydreaming of strawberries, showers and exquisite wake up calls. I'm not in the least bit interested, in what Ros and all my Department Heads have to say. I have had trouble even listening, never mind getting involved in their discussion. The place is still standing and still keeping people employed by making money, so what more do I need to know. Have I always craved to know every single detail? Now I just can't be bothered, it just doesn't hold my interest. There is somewhere I would much rather be.

"So what do you think Christian, should we up our offer?" Ros's voice breaks my reverie,

"What?" I mumble, sitting up in my chair a little straighter, trying to look interested. Ros tut's loudly rolling her eyes. Turning to my Department heads, who are all sitting around the board room table, her voice commands,

"You may as well all go guys, we will meet up later in the week, now is not the time for this" I frown confused, since when did Ros control and dismiss my staff? I glance around the room surprised, as the heads pack away their things, and start to disperse. I turn to Ros sharply,

"What do you think..." I start to demand but she interrupts me,

"Go home Christian" she huffs, gathering her files together,

"Ros you..." I begin, but she stands, silencing me with a look,

"You are neither use, nor ornament here, go home, get the little lady out of your system, then come back and kick arse. Right now you're useless... Mooning around with your tongue hanging out... Go home" she orders, but her voice can barely hide her amusement, "Ros... I... We..." I stutter,

"Christian, I have never seen you like this, all your focus, drive and anger, isn't here. She has had a profound effect on you, but it's not helping your business stratagem" she shakes her head,

"I lover her Ros" I simply state, as if that is the answer to everything, I can't help but smile, thinking about Ana,

"No shit Sherlock" she teases, grinning at me, "But seriously Christian go home, there is nothing here that can't wait" I nod, not needing any more encouragement to flee this place and head to where I long to be,

"But I want a pay rise or your chair" she states playfully, as she turns to leave, I chuckle "One thing though Christian... If she had of been with me... In my bed... I'd have called in sick" she teases with a quick wink. My jaw drops shocked at her audacity, as I stand quickly I throw my pen at her, but she just ducks with a chuckle, and childishly skips out of the office. I laugh loudly, as I buzz for Taylor.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A

As I turn the key and step over the thresh hold, the goosebump chills run up my arms, my heartbeat quickens, and I feel like I'm intruding. Similar to the last time I came in here, I'm flooded with a sudden wave of mixed emotions. I walk slowly into the room and sit on the sofa at the end of the bed and just let my eyes roam. As I take everything in, once again I'm blinded by images, of faceless perfect bodies in all parts of the room. In all sorts of positions, doing all sorts of things. They all swim before me, with one thing in common, Christian. I beat down the jealousy that threatens to rise, at the thought of so many women enjoying his beautiful body. I had no idea last time, how perfect he was, how virile and strong he is, but no matter how painful it is and I do feel my heart clench and bile rise in my throat, I must not entertain jealousy. I can't afford to waste time thinking like that.

As my thoughts clear, a strange thought hits me. I know what went on in this room, I can imagine all the positions, all the things they did together and everywhere I look, I see them with Christian but surprisingly, I still can't really feel them. The women that have been in here, have left nothing of themselves behind, not even Trish, and I'm thankful for that, but god, if these walls could talk. As I glance around the room and take stock of all the toys he has, I huff with a frown. Toy's... Is so the wrong word for most of these things, a lot of them really look like torture devices. Suddenly other imagines come to mind, painful pictures, that lead to painful and worrying thoughts. He was so hard and controlling in here... He enjoyed hurting others... Enjoyed inflicting pain... Real pain. It is plainly obvious that's true, as some of these so called toys, look like they would be quite painful, and cause some real damage. I cringe at the thought.

Will I ever be able to let him use some of these things on me? Would he want to? Will he one day need to? After looking around, I realise our play times, have been purely titillation compared to all of this. He is so good in-between the sheets, that my body yields and all my inhibitions fly out the window when I'm with him. I respond to him intuitively, So I don't think I would take much convincing for me to let him, and I think that is what is worrying me the most.

I've had a few hints of the strong Dominant Christian and he does excite me. The thought of seeing and experiencing him in full Dom mode is enticing, I certainly trust him enough to try but what if things ever got out of hand?. Bound, gagged and blindfolded, how would he distinguish me from all the others? We all look so similar. Would he just fall back into his old Dom self? Blinded by the power of this room, which would no doubt result in pain.

I lean back into the sofa and draw my knees up, hugging them to my chest, I rest my chin and continue to just stare. I can imagine what he was like in here, how cold, hard, controlling and distant he was. He has told me in detail how he treated his subs, how they behaved for him, what he expected from them. All those women he physically enjoyed in here, with no real feeling or emotion, kept him so isolated and knowing it meant nothing and what it did to him, somehow makes it all the more tragic, and that doesn't help with my confusion.

The isolation he must have felt in here, hurts me. I know now first hand, how much he loves to be touched, how he can react when I please him. It hits me physically, pounding me in the chest... Will he let anyone touch him now?... No... I have seen him with others, his guard is most definitely still up. It's only me... He feels safe with... Only me, he lets his guard down for... Only me, that has free reign to touch him. I smile, as I sit upright feeling more confident more determined.

I am going to make this room ours, help him forget all the heartache and pain he associates with this room, banish everything. By adding a wall of a rich warm cream colour, it will no doubt soften this harsh space, make it feel different make it... Oh crap I don't have my van here, all my work gear, including the left over paint from here and Grace's firewall, is all in my van at home. Crap... I have no urge to go home... So a clear out it is then.

Standing I start to wander around the room, looking at everything properly for the first time and my eyes widen and my teeth sink further almost painfully, into my bottom lip. Touching all these strange things, feeling them against my skin, scares and shocks me a little, I don't even understand what half of it is, it all looks so brutal. I want to experience all the fluffy sensual, squirming around the bed toy's, not the, I want to rip your skin off toy's. I place all the canes, whips, belt ect, onto the bed, never in a million years would I be able to enjoy those. I have in my hands a small leather stick, with strips of leather, at least eight of them, hanging from it. I swish it about and flick it against my palm, hhummm... It's not painful... But I suppose it depends where it hits, I flush deeply and nibble my lip.

I head over to a beautiful ornate display case, and I pull open the top drawer, gasping loudly, as I look inside. Everything is perfectly arranged like a surgeon's tools, implements in all shapes and sizes and covering all pain thresholds, innocuously stare back at me. I slump to the floor, as the breath leaves me. I can't even imagine where half of those things go, never mind entertain the thought, that I would want to experience them.

Still curious, despite feeling disheartened, I pull open the bottom draw. My eyes widen sadly, it contains nothing but leather, all sorts of straps and cuffed harnesses and restraints, there is leather everywhere. I pull out a hand full of leather and stare at the full face mask and ball gag. Fuck... This is getting heavy. I know I like it when he ties me to the bed, but this... This is too much. I toss the mask on the bed, there is no way... I would ever want to wear anything like that. Shuffling sideways, I slump back against the wall for support, feeling totally dejected.

I haven't really moved much in the last ten minutes, I feel deflated. I still don't understand my feelings towards all of this, but I have realised sadly, that this is his room... His and his subs... The more I look, the more I know... I can't do this stuff, it's far too heavy for me.

He has told me countless times, that he doesn't need this room anymore and that we don't have to come in here. That is a great comfort but I... I... I like it when we play... But this... He has said many times that in here, there will never be any pain with me... Only pleasure... I do believe him, but all of this, has been a huge part of his life for so long... It was the only coping method he knew and up until recently he was in here regularly... How did I free him of that... After just a few weeks of knowing him?

The vanilla we have shared, as he puts it, has been exquisite... Amazing. When I'm with him, all my ambitions go and I just roll with the sensations. He is so experienced, knows exactly what to do... Every time with him, there is something new... Something more enticing, more stimulating... He knows my body better than I do, but... After all of this... Surely he will get bored... Will crave to do this again... Will need to... No... No... He has altered on a deep and meaningful level, he has changed... From the inside out. He no longer needs all of this to cope... He has no more demons to fight, face or banish. He has faced and shared everything with me, he has... GOD... I hate hormonal doubts and inner monologues.

Still frozen on the floor, I absent mindly run the strands of leather, from the stick that I still have in my hands, through my fingers. My mind starts again, how much DNA is caught in this thing? How many perfect bodies has this thing teased and tormented? How many times has he swung this... Just to cause pain?

The man associated with all this stuff, and the man I know, are two very different people. Well technically... He was two very different people. The cold, hard CEO that hid everything and the tormented, hurt little boy, that no one ever saw, have both battled within him, for such a long time.

Over the past week, he has proven to me how gentle he can be... How gentle he is. Suddenly I see movement out the corner of my eye and as he steps forward, I see his highly polished shoes. My eyes are still lowered, as I feel him slide down the wall next to me, he doesn't say a word or attempt to touch me in any way. I run the leather through my fingers remembering,

"Have all of these... Toys... Been used?" I blurt out before thinking, his sighs softly,

"No Ana, when the Submissive goes... The toys go" he says hesitantly.

Christ...He must have spent a bomb and have 'kink is us' on speed dial. What on earth must they think of him, with such large, regular orders going to the same address... Christ where is my mind going. Christian leans against me and drapes his arm over my shoulder, he kisses me lovingly on the temple, as he pulls me in close. I lean in eagerly, doubt be damned... I love and trust this man... My man. I feel his relieved sigh,

"What is this?" I ask, holding up his leather toy,

"It's called a cat or a flogger... It can be very effective... It's used to bring all the blood to the surface of your skin, making you more receptive to touch" he recites, like someone from the shopping channel, "Not that you need it" he whispers into my ear, sounding more relieved. I feel shivers run down my spine, as he breaths in deeply, I snuggle in further then giggle to myself, recalling my conversation with Mia,

"What?" he asks, knowing there is more than just embarrassment, to my giggle,

"When I was here decorating and Mia popped in. I teased her that this room, which you supposedly used for storage, was that packed, that you couldn't swing a cat in here, never mind a roller" he smiles, then his eyes rest on the bed,

"I see you have been busy" he mutters, nodding to the pile of weapons on the bed, I nod,

"I don't think I could do all the pain stuff Christian... I'm sorry... I don't like the thought of it, it's... Scary... But I love playing with you and as confusing as all of this is... It also excites me" I hear his small gasp, as I feel my cheeks burn. I look up at him, holding his eye squarely "If you want to bring me in here... Then I trust you... With all your toys that are left in here... We can just play it by ear... I trust you and truthfully... I don't know what half of it is... Or what it does... So I will leave it up to you when we play" he sighs heavily, as I lay my head against his chest. I feel his palm stroke my head as his arms hold me tightly,

"Ana... Just because you have done this, doesn't mean we are going to rush into all of this... We can play, but I'd like us to stay in the bedroom for now... I don't want to taint you with all of this... I love what we have Ana, don't think for a second that I need all of this... I have realise with you, that I don't" he assures me truthfully, but my mind hormonely still Wanders,

"Don't be upset Ana please... All of this meant nothing... I promise you" he whispers, kissing me quickly, obviously reading my face and seeing sadness,

"When was your last Submissive in here?" I blurt out, before I can stop myself. I feel him stiffen next to me, then his body sags as he lets out a deep breath, his eyes avoid mine,

"The weekend before we met" he mumbles reluctantly, his eyes growing wary,

Shit... Only four days before meeting me, I don't know how I feel about that. It pains me to know, that only days before our first night at the Fairmount... He was kissing... Touching... Make love... No... He was fucking... Someone else. It's strange but I feel empty,

"She was in here?" I whisper,

"Yes" he says quietly, his voice remorseful,

"Trish has been in here too" my words just keep tumbling out, "Wow... I don't feel her" I mutter to myself,

"Please Ana... Don't let all of this upset you... Come on, let's get out of here" he attempts to move, but I don't budge,

"No Christian you don't understand... I'm not upset... I don't feel her... Any of them, not even Trish and I met her... Spoke to her... Liked her. I can't feel the slightest trace of her in here... I can imagine... But I thought I'd feel her and all the other ghosts of this room... But I don't... It's so confusing", his eyes soften as he pulls me in tight to him, "I have realised one thing though Christian, it was so empty for you... Wasn't it?" I ask quietly,

"Just a simple business deal" he confesses sounding relieved. As simple as that... A business deal, a transaction, a negotiation, a contractual..

"Can I look at a contract?" I ask suddenly very curious, I turn towards him,

"You really want to?" he asks dubiously, worry creasing his brow deeply. I nod slowly,

"Yes I do... But if you don't want me to, then I understand" his face freeze frames many different emotions, I see dread, fear, pain and I can feel his reluctance but then, as I smile up at him encouragingly, he nods minutely, resigned to the fact that we have to share this,

"Wait here" he breaths kissing the top of my head, he stands up quickly and strides out of the room. He is back moments later and once again, slides down the wall next to me.

He holds in his hand an A4 manilla envelope, which he tentatively hands over, while looking anywhere but at me. I open the envelope slowly, trying to hide my eagerness. It holds about half a dozen pieces of paper, the first one being the NDA he spoke of, it looks simple enough. The next few pages are the contract it's self, after a quick read through. Fighting to keep my face impassive. I get the gist of it, it's all consensual, lasts for a three month period, they will meet only at Escala, only at weekends, it contains all the things he told me. Basically, the submissive must serve and obey, do anything he wants and if she doesn't like it, she can terminate their contract at any time.

There is to be, no looking at him, no touching him, no talking to him. Gosh, he even told them what to wear, what to eat, when to sleep... Christ, where is the, 'when she can pee' rule. There is also a prescribed food list which I quickly scan. I glance up at Christian, he just smiles a small smile, then shrugs his shoulders.

The last sheet of paper, is a list of what he calls, hard and soft limits and it's that, that shocks me the most. Christ some of the things he likes to do is scary, fisting... Biting... Genital clamps... "Shit... Butt plugs" I mumble out loud, he chuckles softly next to me,

"Ana, they can be fun" he murmurs. I shake my head, never in a million,

"Sorry Christian... The thought does not appeal... That part of the body is not meant for sex" I mumble my cheeks ablaze. He smiles wickedly, before nuzzling in, kissing my neck,

"That doesn't mean... It can't be pleasurable" he whispers close to my ear. I sigh with a swoon at the promise in his voice, "We will put them on the 'play it by ear pile'... Okay" he purrs, I nod totally entranced. See... No restraint at all.

I shake my head clear, dragging my eyes back to the contract in front of me. I lean into him as I continue to scan the paperwork. It's all so black and white, so regulated. Where are the hug's, the nuzzely kisses, the showers, the baths, the rugs in front of the fire? Where is the laying in bed, wrapped in each others arms talking for hours, rules and clauses?. "They couldn't do anything could they?" I ask compassionately, "You allowed no eye contact... No touch... They couldn't even speak to you... There was no real relationship at all... Was there?" I almost whisper,

"No" he replies with a shake of his head,

"Did you spend any time with them at all?" I ask looking up at him, he just smirks down at me, "Outside of the play room" I clarify, with a roll of my eyes. His brow furrows in recollection, his eyes cloud over,

"They cooked for me... So sometimes we ate together" I hold his gaze my eyes questioning, "That was it?" I ask a little shocked, he just shrugs,

"Some were more outgoing than others... Some tried to converse, interact with me... I politely dismissed them half the time... Avoided them the rest... I didn't want to know about their lives, their hobbies or interests... Other submissive's knew this and stayed in their room after our sessions" he recites matter of fact. Sessions... Wow... It's just like going to the Gym for him, a pass time,

"They meant nothing to you at all did they?" I ask my insides twisting painfully, he shakes his head yet again,

"It was nothing of what we have shared Ana... You must remember the old me, cold, angry, impatient... The darkness that I wallowed in... That is what I shared with them... I had no time or inclination for more, with any one of them... You know that not one of them, ever entered my bedroom... They were only in here, and this room became empty, tiresome, predictable... Then you came and turned my world upside down" he pulls me close, kissing me softly. All my doubts, troubles and insecurities leave me, with every caress of his tongue. His kiss reassure's me, convinces me and makes me love him, so much more,

"Why the doubts... And the need for all this baby?... You know you're different from all of them... From all of this... What we have, can never be touched by this, believe me" he holds my face pleading with conviction, hoping for my understanding, I nod,

"It's my hormones" I mumble, he rolls his eyes and sniggers pulling me into his chest. His entire past is heartbreaking, from the day he was born, all through his teenage years and even as a fully mature man, his life has been nothing but pain, in one way or another, no matter how many times he climaxed, it was all so fucked up and harrowing. God that Elena Lincoln has a lot to answer for, "Why carry on with it all?" I mumble out loud, not realizing,

"Any physical contact... Is better than nothing at all" he utters into my hair, "I needed the control it gave me... The focus... It felt right at the time... I never questioned it, never thought anything was fucked up with the whole thing... Every one of them consented... Wanted to be in here... They knew what they were getting into... All parties knew what they wanted out of it, and what to expect... But now after being with you, it feels so desolate... I never want that again Ana, the confines... The rules... The restriction... I... I want what we have... What you and you alone... Have brought to me... No one has ever or will ever... Touch me on so many levels... As you have Ana... My world now begins and ends with you" his voice is soft full of devotion, my heart pounds,

"Oh, Christian" I gush, my eyes tearing, I throw myself into his lap, I snuggle into him, kissing his neck,

"Oh Ana... I love you... Thank you for finding me... For freeing me and taking me away from all this fucked up shit" he breathes into my hair,

"I never found you... Remember, you found me... If you hadn't of came home early, then knocked me off my ladder, we would never have met, you would never have touched me" I tease, he chuckles in my ear,

"Oh thank heavens for short meetings, private jets, and interfering sisters" he stands taking me with him, he pulls me in close to him, holding me tightly, "I missed you today" he murmurs breathing in deeply,

"Me too, this place feels so empty without you" I whisper into his toned chest, he kisses my head before placing me on my feet,

"Come on, dinners ready" he states stepping away and taking my hand,

"Wow is it that late" I gasp, as we head for the door,

"No its early, only four thirty... I couldn't stay away any longer" he mutters sheepishly,

"Oh Christian, I love you" I gush with a contented sigh, as he pulls me into his chest,

"I love you too baby... More than you will ever know".

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx C

As we sit and eat dinner, we chat comfortably, I feel so comfortable and at ease with her. This place will never be the same without her, and if my hopes are just... She will be here always. I noticed her things hanging in my closet, when I quickly changed for dinner, and I've been on a high ever since. Her book and her toothbrush, made me smile, I feel like I'm about to drown in the emotions and feelings of utter contentment and I'm full of wonderment for the days to come.

"How was your day?" I ask, feeling like an average joe and God, it feels great,

"Good... I spoke to my Mom, she would like to meet you" Ana replys, her voice a little hesitant, my eyebrows lift. Her Mom wants to meet me, she has spoken of her a lot, they have a good bond, "She has been thoroughly entertained, by our smooching on the TV, as she puts it" she giggles, but looks a little apprehensive,

"I would like to meet her too and your Father" I suddenly realise,

"You would?" Ana asks, her voice surprised, her eyes bright,

"Of course I would, your family is important to you... I would like their approval" I state, Grace's old fashioned values kicking in, Ana smiles at me compassionately,

"They will love you Christian... Just like I do" she gushes leaning in to swiftly kiss me. Oh I love this woman, is it too early for bed... That reminds me,

"How did you get on with the Dr?" I ask eagerly, she smiles, as she nods,

"Fine... I had a shot, I thought it would be safer than having to remember pills" she confesses, It's good that she thought ahead,

"So when are we safe?" I ask, trying hard not to show too much eagerness,

"Well my cycle started today" I notice Ana's voice lowers and she looks a little sad, "So timed to perfection... We're safe from now... So soon as my period ends, we'll be good to go" she smiles obviously glad at the thought. I nod as we carry on eating.

Why do we need to wait? I don't mind if she doesn't, we could always have fun in the shower, but maybe the thought upsets her, but me... Not so much. I will not be restricted by a monthly cycle with Ana... My inner thoughts halt me. I eat to hide my surprise, I have just realised that I never saw my subs on those days, but there absence didn't matter but with Ana, I need to be close to her. We can still play though, I truly enjoy fellatio with her, more so than anyone else. The way her tongue teases and flutters across me, the way she grips me hard, I love it when her throat hums... Oh yes... With Ana... Any hole is a goal... Crude I know... But some time Elliot's trademark lines do apply.

"How did work go? and why are you home so early?" she asks softly, filling the silence caused by my errant thoughts,

"Ros said I was no use to anyone, so she sent me home" I tell her with a chuckle, her entire face brightens, as she bites her glorious lip,

"I'm so glad she found you use less... All the more time for me" she giggles shyly, tucking into her dinner. I shake my head awed at her, oh she amazes me constantly.

"Speaking of work... I need to go to New York on Friday, to attend a business dinner" I notice Ana's cutlery stills, as her sad eyes look up to mine, oh bless her heart... She doesn't want me to go, and the thought thrills me. But I could never leave her behind. "Would you like to come with me?" I ask hopefully. If she says no, then Ros can go, she can even take Gwen. She hates to leave her to go on business trips and now I fully understand why. I smile as Ana's eyes brighten, "We could stay for the entire weekend... I have an apartment there" I offer, hoping to encourage her,

"Of course you have an apartment there" she says with a roll of her eyes and a giggle "I've never been to New York though" she confesses sounding a little preoccupied, her eyes glaze over slightly,

"That's settled then... We will have a great weekend, we could go to central park, check out the statue of liberty, visit the library, even get tickets to a show, do the whole sightseeing thing" I eagerly gush trying to convince her. Please say yes baby, I internally urge,

"Christian... Thank you... I Would love to go, it sounds amazing" I lean in and kiss her softly but her lips begin to devour, her hungry for me, out weighing what is on her plate. I pull away quickly as my body starts to react to her, thankfully I'm wearing sweats. I shake my head with a chuckle, "Eat" I command, as she bites her lip with a smile "sorry" she mouths as she picks up her fork.

,

For the past few hours, we have been curled up in each others arms on the sofa, dressed in our Pj's sharing a bottle of wine. We have chatted, laughed, shared good, bad and embarrassing stories, filled in a lot of the gaps, and I feel like we know each other a lot more now. This is all so new to me and I love it... I feel elated... Comfortable... Happy.

I'm beginning to realise, that Ana is a lot stronger than she looks. When I came home today and found her looking lost and hurt on the playroom floor, with a flogger in her hand, my heart broke, for her and myself, for a split second I thought I had finally lost her, finally repulsed her enough to leave me. I shouldn't have let her do that alone, I should have been with her.

I saw her face today, as she read my contract, I know it scared her, I can understand why. Her face remained motionless but her eyes told me the truth. I saw her fear... Her disappointment in me... Her revulsion. I shouldn't have given her any time in there alone to think... But once again she blew me away... Once again she saw past it all... Believed in me... Stayed with me.

As the firelight flickers around the room, I feel Ana heavy in my arms. Glancing down, I notice her eyes are closed and her breathing is shallow, she's fast asleep. I move my arm to allow her head to rest more comfortably on my chest, she murmurs as she snuggles in. I smile at the warmth I feel... The love I feel... I wrap my arms around her and kiss her brow. Reveling in the heat and closeness of her I let my mind wander.

Having Ana wrapped in my arms is so comforting, I never want this to end, I can't imagine this place... My life... My future without her, I need her with me. She calms me... Reassures me... Loves me... She makes me happy, such a simple concept that I never thought possible for me... The thought of ever losing her is... Soul destroying.

My need to touch her, to be close to her, intensifies every single day. She has soaked into me pore deep, from the very first glimpse I had of her, I was drawn to her... Needed her... My body yearned for her, if I lost her now, it would undoubtedly destroy me.

I shift on the couch and pull Ana onto my lap, my arms hold her securely against me. I feel her arms wrap around me, as I pick her up and stand, she snuggles into my chest murmuring my name. My heart pounds at the sound of her sweet sleepy voice, I gently kiss her brow, and walk slowly to the bedroom.

As I lay her down on the bed, she snuggles into the soft mattress and I eagerly follow suit. I climb in behind her, pulling her close to my chest, her arms wrap over mine as she whispers "Goodnight baby" before slumber takes her again. I kiss her neck and nuzzle into her hair, breathing deeply. I crave to touch her... To feel her... To make love to her... But I understand her reluctance and I would never embarrass her, by pushing my luck.

I lay my head down on her flowing soft hair, close my eyes and breath deeply in time with the rise and fall of her chest, that I feel under my arms. I long to caress her... Kiss her... Down boy... I mentally scold, as my cock starts to twitch. Sleep Grey sleep... There is plenty of time for that. I curse even though it's tinged with amusement. Fuck... It's going to be a long four days.


	42. 42 Heartfelt Declarations

A/N HI EVERYONE, THANKS AS ALWAYS FOR YOUR SUPPORT AND REVIEWS, SORRY I DON'T HAVE TIME TO REPLY, JUST KNOW THAT EACH AND EVERYONE IS A JOY TO READ, AND MEANS A LOT. THANK YOU. GREAT TO SEE SO MANY NEW FOLLOWERS, HUGS TO EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU...XX

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A

As the alarm sounds and pulls me out of my sweet, sweet, dreams, I reluctantly open one eye. Glancing at the clock on the bedside table, I moan as I take in the time, "Oh no... It's only seven" I grumble, rolling swiftly back into Christian's warm open arm's. His grey eyes flutter open, as he swoops in to nuzzle my neck,

"Morning baby" he murmurs, now nibbling on my ear, "God... I will never get tired of saying that" he whispers softly. I squirm into him, as his arms tighten around me,

"I will never tire of wanting to hear you say it" I mutter, into his warm bare chest, "Do you really have to be up so early?" I mumble, still sounding, and feeling, half asleep,

"Sorry baby... I have to show Ros why my name deserves to be over the door" he teases, but I hear his reluctance to leave in his tone, I can see it in his eyes. I know I could easily persuade him to stay, but it's an embarrassing thought. Sex and menstrual cycles just don't mix. I sigh heavily, as he rests up onto his elbow. Sweeping my wayward bed hair free of my face, he looks deep into my eyes,

"Would you like to shower with me... Or do you need more time... To sleep" he asks softly. I see his eyes grow lustful, as I feel him nudge my hip. I feel my cheeks flush, understanding what he's really asking me, and I would love to... I want to touch him so badly... I hate to turn him down... But no... I couldn't,

"I think I will shut my eyes for a few more minutes" I tell him quietly, looking up at him through my lashes, I feel my cheeks heating further,

"Okay baby" he murmurs softly, before kissing me swiftly.

As he pulls away from me, he quickly rolls out of bed. I watch him stretch his toned, perfect body, then he ducks out of sight as he hits the floor. He does a quick set of effortless push ups, just to get the blood pumping... His or mine, I'm not sure... Oh please stop... I mentally plead, as I lean up onto my elbows to watch his rippling back.

He rises in one fluid movement and heads toward the bathroom but not before he looks over his shoulder towards me. As he meets my eye, his eyes sparkle, he smiles a wicked smile, happy that he has caught me blatantly watching him. I know my need for him, is written all over me, I can't hide it. He chuckles and for tease or torture, I'm not sure which. He shimmies out of his Pj's and tosses them at me, giving me a full frontal view of his morning glory and disappearing into the bathroom.

I fall back into the bed with a frustrated sigh, oh I would love to follow him in... To join him in the shower... To lather him up... To rinse him off... Oh to play with him... As proven... It's a great way to start the day, but instead I hug his pj's and snuggle back into the bed. As I hear the water start in the shower, my phone beeps. I reach, read and smile, before closing my eyes.

I feel his warm breath on my throat, as he trails kisses along my jaw line. I smile, as my body, not just my neck, arches into him. I squeeze my eyes tightly closed, if this is a dream... I ain't waking up. I feel my body squirm as his soft voice purrs,

"Come on sleepy head... Please wake up" he pulls gently on my earlobe with his teeth, his words vibrating across my skin, I open my eyes slowly taking him all in, oh... He looks totally edable. His hair is still damp and tousled, he is freshly shaven and smells divine. He is dressed in a sharp, very expensive, dark grey suit. Oh my... Christian in a suit is a sight to behold. His suit is enhanced with a powder blue tie, My eyes lock on to it, as I feel my face flush,

"Nice tie" I whisper with a smile, before biting my lip. I take the tie between my fingers, stroking my thumb over the soft material, I find I'm just staring at it. I feel my grin widen, as he raises my chin with a single finger. His eyes are warm, teasing and so loving and his goofy grin matches mine,

"Yes it is... It has become one of my favourites" he utters just staring into my eyes. Oh I love this man of mine, so, so much. His tie, is the same colour as his office walls, here and at Grey house... It's the same colour as my eyes. My heart twists and flips adoringly, and I feel the familiar goose bump shiver,

"You know... You're so adorable" I breathe softly, as I pull on his tie and as his head lowers to mine. I kiss him, with all the intention of a quick peck but the second my lips touch his, I feel it. My body reacts instantly, my lips start to devour his and his eagerly keep pace with mine. I hear a small groan leave his lips as his body presses heavily onto mine. I run my free hand up his back and into his hair, as I pull harder on his tie with my other one.

Our tongues devour each other hungrily, I can almost taste the longing on his lips, and I know we're both yearning for more. I moan, his breath catches, and he suddenly pulls away. Oh thank god... One of us has some resolve left. I pant heavily, my eyes still closed, as he rests his brow on mine.

"Oh Ana baby... What you do to me" he shakes his head for clarity, "Believe me... Anastasia... Nothing, and no one... Will ever be as adorable... As you" he kisses me softly, I manage to restrain myself, as his soft lips caress mine. As he pulls away he kisses the tip of my nose with a chuckle, then rolls off the bed, clearly aroused. I stifled a giggle, as he stands before me, fixing his trousers with a roll of his eyes. He smiles as he takes my hand,

"Please get up baby... I want you to have breakfast with me before I have to leave" I throw back the covers and leap out of bed, he doesn't have to ask me twice. If I'm going to be without him alday, I had better savour every last moment with him. He laughs loudly as he takes my hand and leads me out of the bedroom.

.

Still dressed in my Pj's, as I didn't even want to waste time dressing, I sit at the breakfast bar opposite Christian, tucking into scrambled eggs and bacon. My eyes hold his as I hide my inner smile, this feels so normal... So comfortable... So right. I can't ever imagine rushing around, fighting Kate for the bathroom anymore. I'm finding it hard to remember my mornings with Kate, but one thing is certain, this beats it hands down, I never want to wake up anywhere else,

"Do you have any plans for today?" Christian asks, before taking a sip of his coffee,

"I'm going to pop home" I reply instantly and I could kick myself, as I see his face fall,

"Don't worry Christian, I'm only going to pick my van up" I smile at his immediate relief, then his brow creases,

"Why do you need you van?" he mumbles quietly into his coffee mug,

"All my work gear is in it, I want to paint the playroom today" I tell him, my voice sounding determined. I see the worry hit his eyes once more, his mouth opens and closes repeatedly before he finally finds his words,

"Baby... Are you sure that's a good idea... After yesterday" his voice is soft. I hear the unease he has with the whole idea, It's clearly obvious, it's written all over him. I smile brightly, hoping to ease him, as I nod adamantly,

"I'm sure Christian, talking to you yesterday, really helped me get my head around everything. I'm thinking a lot more clearly today, I have no fears, no worries, about that room now" he nods, but his eyes darken and crease at the corners, I don't think he is entirely convinced. He continues to eat his breakfast, looking a little sullen, I probably shouldn't have told him, just surprised him. A quick change of subject I think. "I'm also going to catch up with Gia today" his eyes flash to mine and take on a different type of worry now. Oh Crap... I continue quickly, "She text me earlier, while you were in the shower. She is going to pop over here later, if that's okay? To give me the outline for the job. We have to have designs ready, before meeting the client on Friday" I can hear my voice rising in excitement but Christian, doesn't look so keen,

"It's fine... That she's coming here" he mutters unconvincingly, his eyes sharpen suddenly, "When on Friday? We fly out at three" he asks urgently,

"Don't worry, nothing would make me miss that flight" I gush, I can't wait. I beam at him. His face rekindles some of its former calm and a smile plays on his lips, as he no doubt thinks about our trip, then he sighs disheartened,

"Ana, I must confess... I am a little worried by all of this, you don't know what she..." his tone is anxious, I cut him off quickly, before he has a chance to worry too much,

"Christian, everything will be fine, working with Gia, has to be safer than my going it alone" I state evenly. I know that was also a worry of his, he will give himself a heart attack, with all this unnecessary worrying. He nods reluctantly obviously weighting up the pro's and con's,

"I just don't trust her Ana... She has so many Elena traits, it's uncanny" he mumbles, I frown at him "Watch you back, please baby" he urges, I nod as my mind wanders. What a strange thing for him to say, why did he compare her to Elena? I will stow it away for later, I don't want him upset, worrying alday about Gia and myself,

"Christian, you know her, everything will be fine, I promise to be careful. I will be safe here anyway, Gail and Luke will no doubt be about" I reassure and I see it working as his shoulders relax and he smiles at me. What on earth does he think she would possibly do to me anyway? I am not even going to ask.

"What are you up to today?" I ask to distract him, he chuckles softly, appearing a lot more at ease now,

"The usual meetings, mergers and mayhem... But as a break from the norm, I promised your friend Katherine, an interview with myself today... So... That should be interesting" he teases, I smile genuinely, Kate will be so excited. I should have called her, or text her good luck at least, this is so important for her career, despite the familiar connection,

"You had better go then Christian... If I know Kate, she will have been camped at your desk, since sun up" I only half tease, as it's probably true, he nods reluctantly as he rises from his stool.

Walking around the breakfast bar to be next to me, he turns my stool so I'm facing him. He cups my face in his soft warm hands and his lips slowly kiss mine. His lips are burning hot, teasing sensually, how can he put so much feeling into a single kiss? I feel his need for me, his longing to touch me, I feel his reluctance to go and I feel his eagerness for his return. All that... From a slow burning... Lip numbing... Sensual kiss. Oh God, I hate mother nature.

He pulls away hesitantly, resting our brows together. One day, I will have to ask him why he finds this posture and contact so comforting, but not now. I kiss him swiftly and step away, his hands still hold my face, I cup his hands and hold his gaze,

"The quicker you go... The quicker you get home" I urge softly, he nods slowly, a smile hint's at the corner of his lips,

"You're right, I do have to go... Wish me luck with your friend Kate" he teases, I think, she isn't that bad... Well maybe,

"Let me know how it goes and tell her to call me, I need to grovel... For being so weak" I moan, as he chuckles,

"I will... And Ana, if you need me at all today... For anything... Just call me okay?" he asks, I know he has worries about me being in his playroom, but I don't understand his reluctance for my spending time with Gia, but hey... Another day. I nod my head in his palms,

"I will, I promise" I whisper up at him,

"I love you so much Anastasia" he breathes, kissing me swiftly and releasing me quickly,

"I love you too Christian... Have a good day" I sing happily and as if by magic, Taylor appears to whisk him away.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx K

As I push open the heavy glass doors of Grey House, I can't help my silent impressed whistle as I take in the vast, very impressive plush lobby. It's a hive of efficient activity, the hustle and bustle of success. This entire place just screams power, screams wealth. It screams Christian Grey CEO.

As I head over to the reception desk, my steps falter as my gaze swings left to right rapidly. I'm stunned by the sea of blondes, beavering about before me. Wow... This place would give Stepford a run for its money... No wonder Christian fell for a brunette, looking at all these blondes all day would drive anyone over to the dark side. What the fuck is this all about?... I wonder if he prefers brunettes and doesn't need the distraction at work, surely he has more will power than that? I stifle a chuckle, as I recall how poor his restraint really is.

As I head up to Christian's office, in his private elevator no less, I run through the questions I have outlined for this interview in my head but stop mid muse. Some how, I think Christian will have his own agenda for this interview today, will want total control over what is written, and that's a bit of a bummer.

As I reach his floor, the doors slide open effortlessly and another whistle leaves me, but this one I hear. The skyline of Seattle is sprawled out in front of me, in one of the most breath taking and impressive views I've seen. As I step out of the elevator and head to the nearest desk, a pretty, petite blonde jumps to her feet,

"Miss Kavanagh" she asks politely, I nod with a smile, "Mr Grey is expecting you, I will let him know you have arrived, please take a seat" she gestures to a nearby leather sofa, "Would you like some refreshment Miss Kavanagh?" she asks me efficiently,

"No thank you, I'm fine" I answer, as I head over to the sofa. I sit and sink into the soft comfy leather and just take in Christian Grey's domain. You can feel the immense power that pulses from this place, it's the throne of his realm. His secretary nervously jumps to her feet, as a set of heavy ornate doors swing open.

Christian strides out of the office towards me, he looks so expectant... So nervous... So unlike himself. I feel my eyes tighten, this interview wouldn't cause him any real concern or interest... So what has him looking so apprehensive? I smile brightly as he heads my way, I see the look of surprise on his receptionist's face as he personally greets me.

"Hello Kate, lovely to see you again" he says, offering me his hand, I rise and shake his hand. Surprisingly, for me and his little blonde, he pulls me into him hugging me stiffly. It leaves both of us feeling uncomfortable, and he soon steps away with an embarrassed smile, "This way please Kate" he offers, turning towards his office, "Could we have some coffee please Andrea" he shouts, without even looking her way,

"Right away, Mr Grey" I hear her instantly respond, and her heels click annoyingly as she scurries away,

"Thank you" he mutters absent-mindedly, as he closes the door behind us.

He strides over to his desk and takes his seat of power, but I can't move. I'm just frozen to the spot, my eyes are transfixed to the wall in front of me. Ana is everywhere. Fuck me... These two are ridiculous.

The love... That is bouncing between the two of them is unmistakable though. It oozes from both of them, in every look that's passed between them, every shared smile, every heart felt laugh, every captured tender touch... Fuck me...

Recalling them at the benefit, I smile as I remember the night. Christian and Ana were inseparable, both so different, both so happy to be with each other, oblivious to everyone else... But in the excitement and chaos of the evening there joy was in passing, but these photos freeze it forever... A testament to the connection they share... Fuck me...

"Good God Christian, what the hell is all of this?" I ask, still unable to tare my eyes away from my best friend, who is clearly head over heels in love. I hear a soft giggle and a heartfelt sigh, as I pull my eyes away from the photos to look at him, his soppy face is glowing,

"I miss her Kate... I need to feel like she is here with me" he simply states. Fuck... He's got it worse than Ana. I wonder if she has seen these? "Please take a seat Kate" he offers, gesturing to the chair in front of his desk. I shake my head clear, putting his over the top expression of love out of my mind for now, as I remember the real reason why I'm here,

"Thanks Christian, so... How do you want to do this?" I ask turning professional. I route through my bag, and pull out my notes and digital recorder his eyebrows raise, has he forgotten why I'm here?

"Shall I just bombard you with all of my own questions? Or do you want to just issue me with a detailed statement, that I can then amend my way?" his eyebrows lower along with his eyes and he nervously bites his lip. I see doubt, worry, even fear run across his face but then his posture turns adamant. His shoulders square as his chin rises and his cool grey eyes meet mine, a small smile creep across his lips. He leans back gracefully into his throne, as he slowly drawls,

"How would you like to cover an even bigger story... Bigger than just my business dealings and my girlfriend gossip?" he asks mysteriously, I try to rein in my excitement but I feel my eyes widen eagerly,

"What story? Who are you taking over now?" I ask, trying to keep composed,

"No... It's nothing like that Kate... This story would get your foot in any door, allow you to write whatever... For whoever... You choose" he dangles the carrot in front of me, his mischievous eyes showing his eagerness,

"You have my attention Christian" I reply simply, determined not to let him see my utter excitement at the prospect of what he's offering,

"How would you like to cover a wedding?" he says with a grin, he holds my eye... Waiting.

I feel my frown as I just stare at him, trying to read him. My thoughts start to swirl, who's wedding? And why on earth would he think I would want to cover something like a wedding?... But... He seems serious. Looking at him closely I see his eyes are alive, excited... He emanates confidence... But his knotted wringing hands, sweaty upper lip and his tapping left foot... Give away how nervous he really is.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx C

"A what?" she finally whispers back at me, her face twisted in confusion, "Who's?" she mumbles,

"A wedding" I repeat patiently, "My wedding" I add in a hesitant whisper. That's it... It's out there... I hold my eyes to her face awaiting her response. As her eyes harden angrily and her face creases to suit, I bite my lip, watching her prepare to self combust,

"Wedding... What fucking wedding?" she virtually screams at me, "What about Ana?" she growls, nearly jumping out of her chair,

I chuckle, "Kate... Calm down please... Just listen to me... I need your help" she glares at me, all sorts of things flashing across her face, I just watch her surprisingly patiently, waiting for her rationality to return,

"This better be good Grey... I warned you that if you hurt her I would..." she defends her friend handsomely, I halt her rant by cutting her off,

"Kate please be quiet" I chuckle, as she tut's and scowls. She places her things on my desk and sitting back in her chair, she cross's her arms and legs over herself. As her brow lifts and her eyes warn, Andrea chooses that moment to knock and enter with our coffee. She walks over and places it carefully on my desk, without raising my eyes to her, I thank her in a tone that dismisses.

"You have five minutes Grey" Kate snaps, as the door closes behind Andrea. I bite my lip to hide my laughter, oh Elliot has his work cut out for him, with this one, her and Ana are like chalk and cheese... How on earth do they get on so well? But they do, so Kate and I have to form an alliance, I just have to win her round, convince... Or persuade her... To help me, I need her in my corner for this,

"I need your help Kate" I repeat and she nods her head slowly, taking a very deep breath, I confess all, and just hope it isn't going to be thrown straight back at me.

"I want to marry Ana... As soon as I can" I see her face freeze with shock, her mouth starts to move but thankfully no words follow. "I can't lose her Kate" I whisper, her jaw drops open with a small gasp,

"Shit" I hear her mumble. She slowly takes stock of herself and locks my eyes squarely,

"Your rushing things a bit arn't you Christian?" she snaps, her eyebrows way up in her fringe, her body language and tone in full friend protection mode. I smile at her hopefully, trying to be reassuring,

"No Kate... I want her to be Mrs Grey, My Mrs Grey... I need Ana with me... Always" I tell her honestly. I have to be open with her, my entire plan rests in her hands,

"When you mentioned Vegas... You really wanted..." she mumbles absent mindedly, I simply nod, "You asked her to go after the first..." her voice drifts off stunned, I just nod again but can't hide my smile,

"I knew... Even then... kate, I have never ever... Spent a night like I did, that first night with Ana... I knew I had to be with her always... Please Kate will you..." she interrupts me, her voice stern,

"Your a tyrant Christian, cold and calculated" I nod, but must admit, I have certainly not been feeling like him lately. She looks a bit surprised at my agreement but regains herself,

"What has Ana done to change you so much and so quickly?" she asks dubiously. Oh if only you knew Kate... If only you knew, I smile with a small shrug of my shoulders. I see her concentration, her bewilderment, then her posture changes and her eyes harden, "Why should I help you? Why would I risk... What if you hurt her in..." she stops ranting as I shake my head,

"I have changed so much since I met Ana, believe me... Ask any one" I try to convince but she shakes her head at me, what? My eyes question. She smiles, only a small hint of a smile but it's there, her wall of stunned shock is crumbling,

"I know you have Christian... I have followed your career for the last two years. I have seen the change in you, spoken to your family, plus... I was at the benefit too, you know... Even though you only had eyes for Ana and honestly Christian, I have never seen you like that before, it's not the first benefit we have both attended you know" her comment surprises me, but the old me wouldn't of given this blonde the time of day or a passing glance, so I'm not surprised I never met her, even though I have met her father, "Ana is a different person too, for that matter" she continues "Why Ana?... I know she's wonderful, kind..." I cut her off, no descriptive words do Ana justice, she stares at me totally bewildered,

"She loves me unconditionally... I feel her... The effect she has on me is... Oh Kate, I can't lose her... And I could never and would never hurt her... Please help me Kate, I need her to be my wife" I lean forwards my elbows on my desk, my voice full of the desperation I feel, "I love her more than anything, she makes everything... Worth while... She makes me feel worthwhile", I almost find myself begging and pull myself together quickly. Sitting up straighter, I notice Kate's hint of a smile gets bigger, elating me a little. I smile back hopefully,

"I know you love her Christian, anyone can see that... But I need to think about all of this, it is very sudden, you have only known each other a matter of weeks, fair enough... You have not spent a second apart during that time but I need to be sure, before I will even consider helping you" she states, sounding very determined. I nod gratefully, forever thankful, that she hadn't just told me to fuck off.

"I need to talk to Ana first" I shift in apprehension about to speak but Kate holds up her hand to silence me, "I won't tell her... But I don't think there's any point in getting your hopes up" she says a smirk on her face, I feel a wave of sadness, sweep over me... Why not? My eyes silently ask,

"Knowing Ana like I do... She won't rush into anything Christian, Christ... It took her this long to have sex, she probably won't want to marry until she's forty" she teases, I hope... Her giggle reassures me, I smile widely. Her giggles turn to laughter, then she stops short, looking straight at me.

"Christian your biggest problem, isn't needing my help... Your biggest problem will be Ray, Ana's Dad... Ana is the apple of Rays... Ex-army, over protective, I own a gun and will shoot you in the arse, if you come near my daughter... Eye... So it's not me... You have to convince" she shrugs apologetically,

"Shit" I mumble, suddenly filled with dread. It never even occurred to me, that someone would not be pleased about this, only Ana mattered,

"Exactly" kate mumbles "But I will think this through and talk to Ana discretely... Okay?" she offers with a reassuring smile,

"Thank you Kate, that is all I can ask of you at this time... I do truly love her you know" I tell her one more time, she nods picking up and drinking her coffee.

I can see by the expression on her face that her brain is working over time, I can almost hear the cogs turning. I so need her help for all of this, I have so many ideas but I'm not sure what Ana would really like, Kate knows Ana so well, she will be able to advise me and help keep everything hidden. I have to swing things in my favour, I need her for this... I know,

"I will give you anything you desire Kate" I almost whisper, her eyes shoot up to mine, from where they had been lingering on her cup,

"Any information regarding my company, within reason of course" I add quickly, I don't want her asking for my baseline,

"You can have any position you would like within my company, apart from mine or Ros's" I clarify, as kate giggles, but her eyes are glazed,

"What ever you want, you can have" I offer temptingly, I will give anything, to convince her to help me. Her face looks stunned, she shakes her head at me totally flabbergasted, reminding me of Ana, they mirror the same drop jaw, I smile,

"Please help me Kate" I whisper, I hear her muttering, her words incoherent. I lean into my desk getting closer, trying to hear her mumbling voice, I can't help my chuckle as odd words reach my ears,

"Christian Grey you're nuts" is all I can clearly make out.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx K

As I leave Grey House, I head blindly to my car. Pulling out my phone, I send a quick text.

'Elliot... Could you meet me at home? I need to talk to you...Kxx'

I press send as I reach my car. Elliot's reply is almost immediate. God these Grey brothers are keen, I smile as I read his words.

'On way baby... Be with you in fifteen... Hope your ok..Exx'

'Fine, just need to clear my head' I send back as I climb into my car. Still in amazed shock, I head home.

As I step into my apartment, I toss my bag and coat onto the sofa and kick off my shoes. I Head straight for the fridge, and reach for the wine, as coffee just will not do, and it has passed midday after all. I hear Elliot's familiar rap on the door.

"It's open" I shout grabbing two wine glasses, I fill them and head for the sofa. Elliot reaches me and we sit down together, I hand him a glass with a slight tremble to my hand, his eyes warm sympathetically,

"What is it? What happened? Are you okay?" he asks urgently, "You look a little pale and you're rather quiet" I giggle,

"I'm fine, it's just your brother" I murmur, can I really tell him? Will he be able to keep this to himself?

"Oh of course... How did the interview go? Was he mean to you?... If he was, I will..." I can see the protective streak in him clearly and I smile lovingly,

"No Ell, it's nothing like that, so don't go beating him up... He was his usual, I am entranced by Ana, self... But that's just it... He..." I just can't say it, I gulp at my wine as Elliot eyes me curiously.

"Your brother is totally nuts... He wants to marry Ana, seriously want to marry her ASAP... All the Vegas jibs where true" I sound awed, but can't help shaking my head, back in my stunned state I take a gulp of wine, "Teasing was one thing Elliot, but actually doing it... Is another, it's far too soon for them... Surely?" I mumble, Elliot's chuckle causes my eyes to rise and look at him, he is grinning widely,

"I know he wants to marry her" he simply says before he swigs at his wine. Leaning back into the sofa taking me with him, his arm wraps around my shoulder. I kick off my shoes and lean into him getting comfy,

"How do you know? And why in the hell, didn't you forewarn me" I scold, he kisses my head with a one armed hug,

"Sorry babe... Christen told me when we were on his boat, he told me that he wanted to just whisk her off to Vegas, there and then... He loves her Kate... Don't worry for a single second, that he wouldn't have thought everything through... He doesn't make rushed or rash decisions" Elliot's knowledgeable declaration, does calm me and I know what he says is true, but I can't help my worry,

"Shit" I mumble, Elliot turns to face me,

"He means it kate... You won't change his mind" he warns me,

"He wants me to help him" Elliots laughter bellows,

"Is that what all this worry is about?" he says still chuckling,

"No... No... Oh Ell... You should see his office, if it wasn't so sweet, it would be frightening" I say recalling my meeting with Christian,

"Why? What's he done? She isn't stuffed and proped up in the corner is she?" he teases,

"No of course not, you idiot" I chuckle, "He has photo's of the two of them, all over his office wall, they're amazing... They both look so loved up" I shake my head with a fond smile, "He must just stare at them all day" I noticed him looking past me a few times, while I sat in my stunned stupor, well more than a few times, if the truth be told. I don't doubt for a second that he doesn't love her, but marriage... I sigh heavily, unsure why I feel so much apprehension about the speed this is going,

"His whole empire will crumble under the weight of puppy love" Elliot chuckles, bringing me back to his warm arms, "So are you going to help him?" Elliot asks me, suddenly sounding very serious. I shrug before gulping my wine,

"I don't know... It's mind blowing, it's just too soon... I don't know how Ana will react to all of this... She said she would jump at the chance to marry Christian, when I explained what all the teasing was about. I know she loves him but I still need to talk to her first... I promised Christian, I wouldn't say anything, so please... Don't mention anything until he tells you, or I will have your balls" I threaten, as he chuckles crossing his legs, I giggle,

"Kate... Believe me... She is just as smitten as he is. I think you will be Christian's partner in crime... And this wedding will happen, there is no doubt in my mind... That they aren't meant for each other" he pledges, swigging off his glass,

"Christ, when did you become so romantic?" I ask bemused,

"Since I saw a beautiful blue eye waif, bring down the walls of the mighty Christian Trevelyan-Grey" he declares, I laugh for the first time, feeling more at ease with all of this, he is so right,

"I know you're right... Do you know they both caved the other night?... Sunday after our boat trip... They ran to each other, even Taylor was shocked. He told me, how they both ran to each other, at the same time, in the middle of the night" Elliot's grin takes over his face, as he shakes his head, "What are the odds of that? They couldn't even last one single night without each other, it's pathetic" we both nod laughing, until Elliot pipes up with his words of wisdom...

"It is pathetic, I agree, but it should tell you... All you really need to know baby...".

A/N THANKS FOR READING


	43. 43 Misplaced Friendships

A/N... SO SORRY PEOPLE... I HAVE JUST HAD NO TIME AT ALL. HOPEFULLY KNOW, MY WEEKLY UPDATES WILL BE BACK ON TRACK, NOW THAT WORK HAS EASED A LITTLE. SORRY IT'S A SHORT ONE, BUT I DIDN'T WANT TO KEEP YOU ALL WAITING ANY LONGER... HELLO AND HUGS TO ALL YOU NEW REVIEWERS, FOLLOWERS, ECT, YOUR SUPPORT AS ALWAYS, MEAN THE WORLD. THANKS DONNA..XXX

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A

I didn't waste much time after Christian had left this morning, after taking a quick shower and throwing on jeans and a T-shirt, I eagerly left Escala. With Luke firmly at my side, I headed home in my new Volvo C70, I will definitely have to thank Christian properly for his gift, cause boy... What a car. After driving nothing but my beat up Beatle Wander, and a ten year old van, it was a dream of a machine, it almost drove it self, it was so much fun to drive, especially when I floored it... Then the real fun began.

It was such a buzz, it felt so powerful and the speed was thrilling, but thanks to Luke sitting in the passenger seat, I couldn't have too much fun, no matter how much I begged, pleaded, or sulked. I chuckle recalling my tantrum, I can't believe I was actually sulking. He did spoil my fun though, with lectures on personal safety and risk assessment, and how with immense power, came great responsibility. Blah... Blah... Blah... None of it reached me. Well... Not until he mentioned how Christian knew I was in the car, and was probably tracking it, no doubt with full speed analysis. So my foot reluctantly eased.

As a punishment, I made Luke drive, on the way back to Escala, and I now know first hand, that there is nothing worse than sitting in a van, in heavy traffic, with no air con, especially if you're unfortunate enough to be wearing a suit. I chuckle to myself at the memory, as I head into the red room, dressed in my white's, all ready to go.

As I step into the room, I have no goose bumps now, no images of others flooding my brain, no irrational thoughts or hormonal rantings, I'm thinking a lot more clearly today, all my worries alleviated, after talking to Christian yesterday. I feel no sense of intrusion in here now either, no jealousy or envy bubbling up inside, I only feel compassion and pity now, for the women that have been in here before me.

To have been so close to something so beautiful and not get truly close, to have had no real connection with him, despite their very intimate physical relationship, must have been excruciating for them. They truly don't know what they were missing, but their loss is my gain and I feel a change coming on. There is going to be a new Dom in town, a slow sensual, fun loving Dom... My Dom. I foresee us making new images in here, and we're going to have a lot of fun making them.

Picking up the paint roller, I quickly get to work, before I succumb to the glorious images now running around in my head, and I pick up my phone.

With every inch and square foot of colour that is painted onto the wall, you can feel the room change, the whole vibe of the space differs. The ghost's are now permanently eradicated, 1 little Sub... 2 little Subs... All gone... With the flick of my wrist. I chuckle to myself, because I'm no Sub. I can touch... I can feel... I can look and I can play... But the thought of submitting to him in play does excite me, in a 'I have definitely ingested far too many paint fumes' kind of way. With a shake of my head and bewildered giggle, I turn up my iPod and crack on.

Once the bed wall, and the opposite door wall, are covered in the rich cream colour, the whole room settles, it's no longer a red room of pain, but a playroom... Our playroom. The cream balances everything out, the two walls of red still scream anticipation, excitement, unyielding passion, but the cream is calming, loving, makes the place feel safe. It's totally balanced out, and feels a lot more tranquil in here now... But we definitely have to get a new mattress for the bed. I giggle to myself, as I pack away all my work gear and head for the door.

As I head out of the playroom I bump straight into Gail, with a surprised giggle, she speaks, "Oh... Ana, I was just coming to find you,"

"Why? Is everything okay?" I ask, feeling a flutter of apprehension suddenly, Gail smiles widely, nodding her head, easing me instantly,

"Fine Ana, fine... Miss Matteo is here to see you that's all, I lead her to the dining room table, as it looks like she will be here for a while," she chuckles, "I will make you both some Tea and a bite to eat, your going to need it," she states with a smile, as she heads away to the kitchen,

"Thanks Gail, you're a star" I praise, as I head to the nearest bathroom to wash my hands.

.

After washing up, I head into the heart of the apartment and find Gia busy setting everything up on the large dining table. I frown, as I notice Gail is suddenly very busy baking in the kitchen, and Luke is sitting at the breakfast bar, pretending to read the paper. I can't help but feel their concern and notice Luke's, not so discreet glances towards Gia and the minute security camera in the corner of the room, which makes me now realize, that Taylor is undoubtedly observing too. This is crazy, what on earth do they think she will do to me? Is she some secret ninja, that will tear me apart? Or does she have a gun strapped to her thigh? This is such an overreaction. With a sigh, a roll of my eyes and an unexpected chuckle, I head in.

As I near Gia, she turns and beams at me "Hi Gia" I greet her warmly, genuinely glad to see her,

"Hello Ana, great to see you again," she replies, just as keen as I pull her into a hug,

"You too" I agree.

As we step apart, her eyes sweep the room, she smiles brightly, "Well Ana, You certainly did wonders with this place, Mia wasn't kidding, the change in this place is remarkable, it's amazing what a splash of colour can do to a space" I smile my thanks, at her compliment and understatement, as she doesn't know the half of it. "How did things go with Grace?" she asks,

"Fine, it was a nice simple job," I reply with a smile,

"Good... Let's see what you can do with this little lot," she chuckles, as she indicates to the mountain of assorted things on the table, and I feel my eyes widen,

"Are you sure you need me for this Gia? You know that I don't have much experience, loads of ideas yes, but this, it all looks rather... I don't want to get in over my head." I inform her honestly. I just wanted to use a roller and get paint under my fingernails, not have responsibility, not on this scale anyway. Escala was different, I felt what was needed here, but this, it's a hotel for god sake, but the more I see the beaming face of Gia, feel that she has no hidden worries, the more my interest and excitement rise.

"If you can impress Christian Grey, then you are worth your weight in gold" she tells me adamantly, her praise easing me,

"I'm so excited" I can't help gush, as reality hits and my confidence kicks in,

"So you should be... This is a great opportunity for us, you will certainly make a name for yourself with clients like the Grey family and Samuel Clifton under your belt, the world will be your oyster, well Seattle at least" she chuckles,

"Who is Samuel Clifton?" I ask, barely hiding my chuckle, as I notice Luke write something down in a little black book, that he's just pulled from his suit jacket pocket, then quickly go back to his blag reading.

"The owner of the hotel that needs updating," Gia answers "He's a very important business man, not on par with Christian Grey of course, but still, he can hold his own" Gia flushes, at her mention of Christian's name. I can feel how she feels, when his name rolls off her tongue, I can see how her body reacts to the thought of him, it's the same response she had in her shop when I first met her, she still likes him.

"Here are all the things you will need to get started, layouts and artist drawing of the rooms, photo layout's of all his other hotels. Our aim is simple, basically we present a couple of room designs, it usually helps to have a few, and if he's happy we get the contract." I nod eagerly, as she carries on. "The rooms basically needs to be practical, functional, fairly modern, but they can't date too quickly, or be too outlandish that they don't keep in vein with the building." I nod in understanding, "I brought over everything you could possibly need, colour charts, material samples, furniture catalogues and a ton of computer software that should help you immensely," she hands me a couple of computer memory sticks. I take them hoping my old beat up Lappy will be able to cope with so much info. I must look a little daunted, as Gia'a soft voice cajoles,

"Ana Don't worry, just have fun, play around see what springs to mind, we have until Friday," I nod again, realising this could be fun, "I will be playing around with ideas too, whenever I have the chance, so not too much pressure just enjoy it. It's also up to you, how much you want to get involved, you can even go as you are. if you want, get your hands really dirty" she chuckles, looking me up and down, I glance down, now realising that I'm still in my whites,

"Sorry, I just finished painting a room upstairs," I chuckle,

"God, Christian won't recognise the place, if you carry on" she teases, but I see her eyes light up again at the mention of his name, and feel her excitement.

"Shall we have a glass of wine to celebrate our venture?" I ask standing quickly, trying for a distraction, she nods and I head to the kitchen. Arriving back with a bottle from the fridge and two glasses, I eagerly pour and hand her a glass,

"Is Christian around? Maybe he has a few ideas that could help you with this, he has stayed in enough hotels after all" she jokes again, hiding her eagerness as her eyes scan the room eagerly,

"No Christian is working at Grey House today," I tell her quickly, her face falls, but only a tad. Her composure is good, she hides her feelings well,

"And he left you here alone?" she asks, sounding a little shocked, I nod with a smile. She has a million questions dancing behind her eyes, and can't resist bringing up Christian again, "I saw the photos of you both in the papers... You looked very... Cosy" I can't help my giggle, as it felt a lot more than Cosy to me. Her eyes widen with interest and I suddenly realise, that I don't really want to discuss Christian with Gia. Dodging her question, I finally reply,

"You mentioned you were at the benefit, why didn't you stay?" she just shrugs, looking uninterested,

"They bore me terribly, I go, donate to the local charity as that's always good for business, I network a little, make a few new contacts, then leave, it's all business brown nosing, fake pleasantries are always very tiresome" her reply shocks me a little, but Christian did say she wasn't very gracious, I don't suppose you can be if you want to succeed. "Judging by what I saw in the press, it looked like you had a good time" she prods again, my smile is my only response. I don't want to talk to her about this, but she holds my gaze obviously waiting for more information and I know she must be curious, she likes him, I knew that before I even met him. I see her eyes burn with her curiosity, can feel it rolling off her, it's almost tangible, "So you and Christian?" she finally asks,

"Yes" I simply answer with a smile,

"How?" she can't help ask,

"He came home early while I was working here," I tell her truthfully,

"Wow... I thought he would go ballistic" she mutters, shaking her head, her eyes wide, I smile instinctively,

"Oh you were right... He wasn't every happy," I can't help chuckle at the memory, Gia laughs along with me, "But as a thank you for all the work I did here, Mia invited me home for dinner" Gia's eyes widen with shock, "Christian also came to dinner and well, we just hit it off, we connected" Gia's face pails and her gasp worries me a little, "Is it serious?" she asks abruptly, I can feel her jealousy, her voice hides her disdain, but I hear it, and I don't blame her, but I better nip this in the bud,

"I love him Gia" I state firmly, as her eyes widen and harden just a tad at the corners,

"Does he love you?" she asks outright, but before I even have time to answer, or worry that this conversation is going to go anywhere more personal, a booming voice sounds from behind us. It echoes around the large open space, causing us both to jump, her a little more so,

"Yes I do" the voice affirms, and Christian appears behind us. He heads straight over to me and kneels on one knee at my feet, wrapping his arms around me where I sit, his kiss is hard, full of affirmation, "Hi baby" he whispers softly against my lips, I hold his eye,

"Hi to you too" I whisper, he smiles, then his eyes harden,

"Hello Miss Matteo" he says politely, with no real feeling or giving her full eye contact, but still, I notice Gia's eyes light up.

"I have asked you countless times to call me Gia" her authorative voice states. Christian frowns as he stands but hides it well, I don't think he's very happy with such informal greetings between them and an awkward silence hangs in the air.

"Would you like a drink Christian?" I ask to fill the void,

"Please ana" he whispers turning his attention to the mountain on the dining table. I stand and head quickly to the kitchen, to get another glass of wine for Christian.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Gia.

As Ana leaves us, I turn to Christian, moisten my lips, hood my eyes and stick out my chest.

"It's good to see you again Christian" I murmur softly, and I feel a shiver run up my spine, as I say his name for the first time in his presence. His disapproving hard eyes flash to mine, but I am undeterred, "I wish I could have been free to help Mia now, I could kick myself for turning her down" I murmur sweetly up at him, hoping to attract his full attention. He scans me quickly from head to toe, with his usual cold eyes and disapproving frown, he then turns to look at Ana. His whole body changes, he relaxes, as his face softens, his eyes warm and follow Ana's every move, a small smile flickers on his plump, sensual lips, oh...

I try once more to capture his attention, to draw him in, to get him to notice me, "If I had of known, that the way into your heart... Was to have paint in my hair, I would have..." he turns sharply to face me, his eyes now angry, cold, hostile. Oh there is definitely no puppy dog for me,

"Miss Matteo" his captivating low voice snaps at me, "I am not interested in you, you hold no appeal for me, as your past flirting and propositions have always proven, your attention is unwanted and un-reciprocated, I am with Ana now, and always intend to be... So keep your inappropriate comments and thoughts to yourself" he spins away and heads over to the kitchen, swooping in, to relieve Ana of the great weight of a single wine glass.

I feel my teeth clench and my hands fist at my sides, as my heart falls, my anger rises. Who in the hell does he think he is? The vain arrogant bastard, but I can't help but watch, captivated, as his hard demeanour falls as he nears Ana. She looks up at him with a sickly sweet smile, which he returns ten fold. God she can't be that perfect? What is her appeal?. If it wasn't for her having the personal recommendation of this prick, I wouldn't even be here at all. I don't deny, or bitch about how good it has been bouncing his name around with hers, it's been very good for business, and granted, she does have a good eye and seems to know what she's doing, but still...

I watch them both engrossed and it's sickening, I feel my bitterness rise to greater heights. Three years I have known his man, three year I have put up with his crappy moods, bad temper and insulting remarks, and for what? For him to settle for this slip of a girl, Christian Grey needs a woman, not this waife. I watch fascinated, as he leans in and kisses her softly, my lips part involuntarily, my tongue trails my lip mirroring his and I ache. His hand runs up her back and cups the nape of her neck, my hand instinctively rises, I trail my fingers up into my hair. As Ana's hand instantly goes to tail his back, I feel the wave of anger and nausea. I am out of here. I turn back to the table and start to gather my things,

"Sorry Ana I need to go, I will leave everything with you... You have an outline of what the client wants, so take your time, we will meet Friday on site, check out the rooms, then present, okay?" I say in a surprisingly calm voice. Ana pulls herself free from Christian's, strong, muscular, safe warm arms, and rushes towards me, "Thanks once again Gia, you won't regret working with me" Ana gushes, as she pulls me into a hug. I notice Christian looks instantly uncomfortable behind her, I smile hugging Ana close to me, 'get the fuck off me woman' I internally scream,

"Your welcome Ana, and I'm sure I won't" I glance at Christian, he nods dismissively, arrogant prick. Why does he have to be so handsome... So alluring... So captivating... So... I turn on my heel quickly and leave, without shaking his hand.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A

As the elevator doors close I turn to Christian, "Oh Christian, I'm so excited, this is going to be so much fun and a good job to have, according to gia" I gush, Christian frowns and steps back,

"I don't trust her Ana" he says softly, cupping my cheek, I smile widely, unable to hide my excitement,

"It's okay, I like her, I still think she carries a torch for you though" I tease,

"Don't be silly" he says dismissively, looking very uncomfortable, as we both know he's wrong,

"How did it go today with Kate?" I ask hopefully, to bring my Mr happy back, "You're still in one piece, so she must have been gentle" I giggle and he smiles, he looks calmer suddenly, and a little sheepish if the truth be known,

"It was... Enlightening, let's put it that way... She said she will call you, if she can... If not, she will see you at my parents house when we all have dinner" I smile up at him, looking forward to the family get together,

"Good, we have so much to catch up on" I tell him with a sigh, I miss Kate,

"What did you do today?" he asks, I raise my eyebrows quizzically, then look down at my attire, "I painted the playroom" I state obviously,

"You did?" he teases, his wide eyes feigning shock, but he's finding it hard to hide his chuckle,

"Yes... Come and see... It looks so much better now" taking his hand in both of mine, I playfully full him along, eager to show off my handy work.

.

A/N PLEASE REVIEW...FB...DCOLIVER FANFICTION...XX


	44. 44 A First Time For Everything

A/N THANKS TO YOU ALL FOR YOUR LOYALTY AND CONTINUED INTEREST IN THIS STORY, IT IS SO APPRECIATED. AS WITH MY FIRST LEMON IT TOOK ME FOREVER TO GET THERE, AND LIKE MY RELUCTANCE WITH THAT, IT HAS TAKEN ME UNTILL CHAPTER 44 TO GET ANA STRAPPED TO ANYTHING...:)) YOU ALL KNOW HOW THE LEMON'S EMBARESS THE HELL OUT OF ME, SO PLEASE BE GENTAL. LOVE YOUR REACTION TO GIA...THERE HAS TO BE A BAD GUY AND A BIT OF TROUBLE, RIGHT? :)) HUGS TO YOU ALL. DONNA XX

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx C

As Ans pulls me into the room, she beams up at me, all bright eyed and excited. My eyes scan the room slowly, taking everything in, "Doesn't it look better?" she sings proudly, I smile down at her nodding, feeling a little dumbfounded,

"Yes baby, it does" I voice my agreement automatically, as my mind races,

"It feels so different in here now, don't you think?" she asks, looking up at me expectantly,

"It looks good" I mumble, looking anywhere but at Ana. The change in this room is remarkable, it does feel very different, but...

"What's the matter?" her soft worried voice asks, I glance down at her, reluctantly holding her eye and just feel myself shrug. How do I explain my confusion to her? When I don't fully understand it myself. The emotions this woman evokes in me, will never stop bewildering me, or confusing the hell out of me.

"Ana baby... It's hard to explain but... We have made love so much, we have such a different relationship... That... This feels so strange and I feel confused being in here with you... You seemed so upset yesterday, so disappointed... Yet now you..." as my voice drifts off, she smiles up at me and takes my hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze,

"Yesterday, I felt like I was stepping on other peoples toes in here, but not now... This is a totally different room today... It's our room now. I trust you Christian, I love you and want to please you" a frown hits my brow quickly at her choice of words. Does she think that I still need all of this? I have told her countless times that... Her interrupted confession halts and surprises me,

"Christian, I'm fascinated and excited by what we could share together in here, after talking to you and knowing you like I do, I trust you, Christian I..." her words comfort slightly, but still my thoughts swirl,

"Ana, with what has gone on in this room... I don't want to tarnish you with all of this, please baby I don't need this..." she cuts me off quickly,

"This is a fresh start Christian, it doesn't matter what went on in here before, you can't taint me with your past, you should know that by now" she looks up at me, eyebrows raised, stating the obvious. I smile down at her thankfully. God this woman... Every time I think my shit is going to send you running, it somehow seems to bring us closer together. After yesterday and everything she found out about my past relationships, that have ever been conducted in here, she still wants to be with me... In here,

"I know you don't need this, you're not the same person you were then Christian, I know it's only been a matter of weeks but... I know you wouldn't... You couldn't hurt me, if that's what you're worried about.. You touch me differently... Feel and react very differently to me and if you want the honest truth... Your CEO turns me on..." she flushes with a giggle,

"Does he know?" I ask with a slight chuckle, still feeling a little astonished, she nods up at me all wide eyed, her body radiating her need for me. Oh baby stop... Please... It feels like forever since I last touched her,

"You still look so unsure" she murmurs quietly, then she swallows before speaking, "Don't you want to tie me up and play with me?" She whispers looking a little embarrassed, but looking more disappointed than anything else. How on earth can she be so mind blowingly perfect?

"Oh Ana, don't tempt me... Please baby... Not in here" she truly has no idea how she tempts me, even now, just standing in here, dressed in her whites with paint on her cheek, she is still so alluring. She frowns a little, as my mind ponders her question and my brain is instantly filled, as so many sweet images of us in play flash before me. But then my heart sinks, and my thoughts turn sour. This room doesn't enter my head in my daydreams with Ana, the toys do granted, but our bed, is always the setting,

"Christian" she urges, bringing me back, "Don't you want to play with me?" she whispers again, looking totally distraught. I must have been pondering longer than I thought, and have worried her a touch. How do I tell her? I place my hand on her face cupping her warm flushed cheek,

"Okay... In answer to your question" I start talking, sounding more convinced than I actually feel. My thoughts are still swirling uncontrollably, "Yes and no" I tell her truthfully, she frowns up at me, as I hide a chuckle and continue, before her uncensored brain to mouth questions start to slip out.

"Yes... I so want to play with you, to know you trust me... Even though you know nothing about all of these things, is thrilling, and believe me... You would look as sexy as hell, all tied and trussed up, in sexy leather cuffs. Having you sprawled and splayed out for my pleasure, is..." I Hide a chuckle, as I notice she is virtually drooling on my shoe, and I feel my cock instantly stiffen, at her response to me and my words. But then my heart pounds and sinks, as the true image of that scenario with Ana in this room pops into my head, and the thought of Ana, bound tight, unable to move, has me panicking and confused once again,

"And no" I say more forcibly, but my thumb softly caresses her cheek, to soften the blow. Her eyes widen touched with sadness, I kiss her brow softly before continuing,

"Ana... All the women that have ever been in here, have been restrained, controlled, sedate, that's what was expected and needed from them... But with you... I don't want that, I love your squirming, your blatant writhing... Do you know how much of a turn on it is seeing your wantonness?... Not knowing what you're going to do to me, eagerly wondering where your warming safe touch, will heat my skin next, is astounding to me... I love our intimacy, I love allowing you to please and control me... It's so new to me, and feels so right" she stares up at me, totally blown away as I kiss her soft, still lips swiftly, "I love what I share with you so much more, than any amount of control that this room could bring me... And I don't want to lose that with you... This room has always held a different meaning for me and..."

"Don't you miss the control?" her brain to mouth slip asks, I shake my head smiling as she looks up at me amazed, "Christian, I can truly understand your need for it and how you find it so erotic" she flushes but holds my gaze, "When you let me take over" her flush deepens as my grin widens, "I love it" she confesses with a giggle, "I love making you squirm... Finding your erogenous zones... Having you writhing because of what I'm doing to you..." she steps closer to me running her hands around my waist, "I understand the attraction" her soft voice continues, "It's so erotic, watching you become so aroused because of me... I am starting to get horney now... Just thinking about it" she whispers as I chuckle. She recovers and stands taller looking back squarely into my eyes, "Christian that's what I want to share with you in here... The erotic control, not the servitude but... Maybe with just a touch of obedience" she chuckles as she hugs me tighter,

"Oh Ana" I can't help breathe, as I just stare amazed into her wide enticing blue eyes, "Don't you want to just stay in our bedroom for now?" she shakes her head at me,

"Christian, the thought of being strapped to some of this stuff is exciting... If not a bit bewildering, but I'd like to experience this with you and I trust your judgment with your toys... I trust you" she states and my smile widens. Oh she astounds me, she knows so little of what could go on in a room like this, and even after she scared herself silly reading my contract, she still wants to try,

"I want you to tie me up and spank me" she whispers suddenly,

"You do?" I gasp, her question shocks and surprises me, I love what we have, how she behaves but...

"Yes... You said pleasure spanking, I would like to try" she nods up at me, her face glowing,

"I did, didn't I..." I mutter, recalling the conversation, which seems so long ago now. God, I feel like such a completely different person now, "Why?" I ask suddenly, I don't want her doing this just for me, she smiles up at me nibbling her lip as she confesses,

"If your Dom... Is half as hot as your CEO... Then I'm itching to meet him... I want a taste of the Dominant you" her pupils dilate as she licks her lip, and she's got me... Hook line and sinker,

"Oh baby... My Dom wants to meet you" I purr, holding her tightly, how on earth did I get so lucky to have found...

"Do you want me to behave like a sub?" she questions quietly, shocking me. I step back and falter in thought, her whisper continues un-fazed by my reaction. "I remember your contract... How I can't look at you... Or talk without permission, or even touch you... I remember the safe words and I would like to play... Sir" she whispers and her voice breathes the final word, and I fall head first into confusion once again.

I'm torn, I love her uncontrolled being able to touch me freely, the thought of dominating Ana, controlling her, restricting her like my previous subs in here, sits heavy, I never want the two to mix. I want to play with her but...

A light goes on and brings a smile to my face, all my doubts and fears wash away, she smiles up at me biting her lip once more, but so more enticingly. Oh she knows what she's doing, I can see the bunny emerging, and as my mind enjoys my newly realised thoughts, my cock twitches, because as her Dom I can order her to move... Order her to moan... Order her to touch me, kiss me, scream my name,

Oh yes... I want to play.

"There is more to it than that Ana" I state, trying to get into character, "but yes... I want to play with you too, a lot of fun can be had in here... So for you I will play" she smiles brightly as her eyes widen excitedly, and her inner bunny starts to bounce.

My cock swells further at my delicious thoughts, her cheeks flush, as if reading my mind, and as she takes a deep satisfied breath biting her bottom lip expectantly... I turn the key in the lock.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A

I'm cuffed to a bench, my arse in the air, and I feel my orgasm start to ripple right through me. He hasn't even physically touch me yet, I have only felt his lips and his toys, but my body wants to explode... God he's good... My body is buzzing, literally...

After the key turned in the lock, he stripped me slowly from my unflattering whites, while not taking his eyes from mine, I reveled in the fact that his mirrored mine... And burned. He left me in just my pants, gently tied my hair into a long braid, took my hand and led me to the side of the bed and ordered me to kneel. I felt a little silly but my body reveled in his power. It was so erotic not knowing what he would do to me... What he would want me to do...

As I knelt obediently, his head descended to mine and his soft voice whispered, "I'll be right back" close to my ear. I controlled myself, just, staying in submissive mode. Biting my tongue so as not to just scream at him, to ask, where on earth he was going. I giggle, recalling his chuckle as he left the room swiftly.

So now I wait eagerly on my knees by the bed, my hands splayed on my thighs, and I'm trying hard to just concentrate on the space between my knees on the floor. He has been out of the room for a few minutes now, and the waiting is such a turn on. The anticipation of the unexpected has my body quivering and throbbing in all the right places, I hear the door open and compose myself quickly.

He enters quickly and I risk a low glance, he strides to me his feet bare, I bite my lip quickly to hide my gasp, as I recognise the torn faded jeans he is now wearing. Omg... I feel my internal throbs intensify, my body knowing what he would look like, his toned tanned ABS, rippling unclothed, the torn worn denim, hanging from his swaggering hips. His hungry needful eyes are burning into me, I can feel them without having to see him.

I can't believe how incredibly horny I am, and he hadn't even been near me or even touched me yet, I just want him to... Crap I curse to myself suddenly remembering. What's going to happen because of my period? I don't really relish the thought of full sex it just doesn't appeal, but maybe spanking doesn't involve sex, he understands how I feel, I trust him and well... It's too late to worry now, as I'm about to find out.

As I pondered, he has come to stand in front of me, his soft voice fills the room as he orders me to rise, I do so quickly keeping my eyes down, I hear his contented sigh. I see and feel his fingers slowly trailing across my stomach, my body shudders with need for him and he notices. As he teases my flesh, drawing his fingers along my body, he finally reaches my chest, brushing gently against my swollen heaving breasts, before finally resting on my chin. He lifts my face to his but my eyes stay down, I hear a satisfied huff as his soft voice commands,

"Look at me Anastasia" he purrs in a low deep husky voice, I raise my eyes swiftly, I can feel that they burn for him and his mouth hints at a smile, I hide my giggle trying to look contrite,

"Kiss me Ana" he whispers lowering his head to mine, his eyes close as his lips slightly part, I step towards him and attempt to raise my hands,

His eyes shoot open at my proximity and movement, "I never said touch me Ana" he snaps sternly, I gasp at his tone them comply,

Without touching, our lips are the only contact and they're on fire. His lips remain passive as I do all the work, but I feel his inner burning heat. Slowly I move my tongue around his mouth, teasing, pleasing, tormenting, I trail my tongue slowly along his bottom lip and his restraint soon falls as he responds fervently, his warm breath dampening my lips. I crave to run my hands into his hair, to feel his warm chest flat against mine, feel his heartbeat pounding with need and desire only for me, but because I can't, this diminutive amount of contact, makes it all the more hot.

"Enough" he whispers breathlessly against my lips, I step back lowering my head quickly, so I'm once again looking at the floor. He steps back offering me his hand, "This way Ana" he murmurs, as I place my hand in his, I feel his reassuring squeeze and bite my lip to hide my smile.

We head over to the bench in the corner, "Wait here" he whispers, as he heads over to the array of spanking implements that he has displayed on the wall. Oh hell... Did I really think this through? But then a small smile play on his lips and my anxiety flees, as he takes hold of a large black leather paddle. It's padded, quilted on one side, flat on the other and my trust in him mounts, he rummages in a drawer before he walks back to me slowly, holding my eye constantly.

"Lean over the bench" he orders quietly, I do so quickly without hesitation, then I hear his deep, satisfied moan, as his hand runs up my back. He pulls my arms in front of me, securing them to the legs of the bench with large, soft black leather cuffs, he walks around me, his hand still trailing my back. As he touches my underwear, I flinch and make an involuntary small sound, he stops instantly, understanding my embarrassment, "Maybe next time baby" I hear him murmur softly, as his hand moves again to caress my back, my cheeks burn.

Slowly, he runs his hands down the length of my legs to my ankles, where he once again uses cuffs to restrain me. Now positioned and secure my senses heighten, and my body yields to him as he starts to trail kisses up my spine. My entire body quivers, my heart beat pounds with every brush of his lips and as he stands, I feel him take my braid in his hands pulling my head up so I'm looking at him. He smiles proudly down at me as he pulls his blue tie from his jeans pocket, and places it over my eyes before tying it tightly.

His kisses continue up my spine, his hands start to caress my breasts, my nipples elongate automatically and his fingers tease them welcomingly. I stifle a pleasure filled moan, as his slow tormenting fingers start to caress me harder, his fingers roll and pinch my nipple as his hand brushes across my arse through my underwear, "Don't worry baby" he whispers softly into my ear, all Dom gone, this is my Christian, I smile as I relax further. I feel a something different touch my back, my body instinctively freezes, "Easy baby" he coos, as I hear a faint hum. I feel the vibrator trailing down my back, across my underwear and down and around to my throbbing wet virgina and I moan unhindered,

"Oh that feels so good" I breathe as he teases my throbbing clit,

"Let me hear you baby" he breathes into my neck, rolling my throbbing nipple through his masterful fingers and I moan with pleasure loudly. As I feel the soft leather paddle brush up the back of my thighs, I grip the legs of the bench, preparing myself for the onslaught of the paddle. I relax in realisation that it's the soft padded side in contact with my skin, and as it leaves my skin then snaps back, my eyes roll. Even though it didn't hurt, I gasp and moan as the vibrator teases me, distracting me from the paddle, again I feel a slap but as it's a Large paddle and not concentrating on one area, it's not painful and I relax and roll with the sensations he is causing me to feel.

As he spanks me gently in time with his pinching and rolling onslaught to my nipples, his lips and tongue continue to trail up my back, and as the pressure of the vibrator increases against my burning throbbing clit, I can't hold out any longer. "Let it go baby" Christian murmurs softly into my ear, "I want to hear you" he breathes, and the overload of feelings and sensations cause my orgasm to pound right threw me.

With my bodies final tremor and desperate sounding moan, he initiates his final slap, a little harder this time and he also uses the flat side, and as contact is made on my heightened sensitive skin my insides explode, intensifying my orgasm, I moan as the words leave me,

"Oh Christian... I... Oh Christian..."

As I fall down from my orgasm, I feel my body go limp, his hands leave my body and start to untie me urgently, "I need you Ana" he whispers into my neck. My eyes roll beneath the mask at the intensity of his voice, and as he swings me up into his arms, with the blindfold still on he turns and strides purposefully towards the bed. Placing me back on my feet, he slides off the blindfold and kisses me passionately, his arms wrap around me as he sits on the bed, "Touch me Ana... Please" he mumbles in-between his ardent kisses "I need you... To... Touch me... Please..." his voice begs,

I push him flat on the bed leaning over him, needing no more encouragement, I want to please him, feel him, taste him. I kiss him hungrily as his hands run up my back and squeeze me tightly, I feel his hand grasp my hair and as he trails his hands down the braid, he pulls off the tie, his hands quickly fan out on my scalp, he frees my hair, and it falls down around us. As our kiss slows, I pull away from him to stand, allowing him to shuffle up further onto the bed, I eagerly follow him and sit between his knees, reveling in the sight of him lying before me, in his torn worn sexy as hell jeans.

My hands run slowly, up the warm soft demin in time with his moans and writhing, I smile as I reach for the buttons on his swollen crotch and pop them open slowly, one by one, "Oh Ana... Please baby" he desperately pleads, "Ana please... I need you... Top me from the bottom... Please baby" I smile as his back arches from the bed, his fists clutching the sheets tightly, I notice his eyes are closed and rolling, and as I pop the last button and he bursts free, I gasp loudly at his readiness for me and eagerly claim him as mine...

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx C

As we sit and eat dinner, I asbent mindedly feed myself, unable to take my eyes off the amazing woman in front of me. I can't believe how our first time in our new room went, she topped me, and I wouldn't want it any other way, couldn't of had it any other way with her in there. We have found the perfect compromise and safe ground, oh yes... We will most certainly be playing again in there, but she will always have the true control. I could never treat her like a true sub, never have sex with her, without her touching me, wanting me.

When her hands are mauling my chest, I feel myself burning from head to toe, my entire body feels alive. I feel her more and more every day, every time we're close just gets better and better and I could never, or would never, want to change that.

"How was your day?" she asks me suddenly, causing me to chuckle,

"Good... My early evening was better though" I insinuate as she chuckles, "But seriously Ana, after Kate left today, I was so distracted, I had to go and work in my board room, I kept finding myself constantly day dreaming in my office" I confess truthfully, my conversation with Kate feels like a lifetime ago now. I pray to God she helps me with all I asked of her, I must speak to her as soon as I can,

"Oh Christian" Ana giggles, then I suddenly stiffen and Ana's face falls, as I remember what also happened today, to bring me home early. I was distracted with Miss Matteo on my arrival, but the feelings from earlier today have come flooding back as my mind recalls,

"I spoke to Mom today" I utter quietly, not taking my eyes from my plate,

"Oh Christian you should have said, are you okay? Did you mention anything to her?" Ana's soft voice gushes compassionately. Swinging herself off her bar stool and coming to stand beside me, I turn in my seat and she wraps her safe arms around me,

"No, I didn't want to talk over the phone, she has invited us for dinner tomorrow evening, the entire family will be attending" my tone carries mixed emotions,

"It will be fine Christian, Elliot will be there, and I will also be by your side if you need me" I shake my head, pulling her in close, reveling in her warmth,

"Thank you baby, but no... I need to do this, I have to do this" my voice is resigned, Ana holds me close comfortingly. Tomorrow will be tough, my only consolation is that I will hopefully get a chance to speak to Kate. I will focus on that positive and not dwell on the negativity that will include my dear sweet mother, she will surely hate me after tomorrow, see me in a whole new light. Oh, I can't think about this now, can't allow myself to sink into the depression, that tomorrows looming conversation evokes. I need my hope, my security, my sanity, I need Ana. I run my hands down Ana's back, to her soft plump butt.

"Come on, let's go to bed so I can massage your butt" I tease, standing abruptly,

"My butt's fine" Ana giggles against my chest, I stand taller and lower my voice authoratively,

"I am you Dom, and as such, it is my job to care for you, so I need to inspect this fabulous behind of yours" I tease with a squeeze,

"Any excuse" she giggles, then pauses looking up at me, "Christian... I enjoyed our time in there this evening" she whispers,

"Did you now?" I chuckle grinning widely, not half as much as me though baby, I think with a smile,

"Yes I loved it... And I will gladly... Top you from the bottom... Anytime you ask... Sir" her soft voice purrs, and as her words register and sink in,

My eyes widen... As my heart explodes.

. A/N PLEASE REVIEW...;))


	45. 45 Shocked And Floored

A/N HELLO TO ALL YOU NEW FOLLOWERS AND REVIEWERS, I CAN'T BELIEVE I HAVE REACHED OVER FIVE HUNDRED FOLLOWERS...WOW.

A HUG AND THANK YOU TO EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU...

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A

After finishing breakfast, Christian stands up from the breakfast bar and prepares to leave. Taylor enters the room, and I notice that the two of them share a silent informative glance. Taylor leaves the room as quickly as he came, but now has a small smile on his face. What the hell just happened? Are they psychically linked now? Before I have time to ponder too much about what I have just missed, Christian turns to face me, holding out his hand,

"Come Ana, I have a surprise for you," Christian sings with a boyish grin. I take his offered hand, smiling up at him quizzically, what have these two been up to?

"You do?" I mumble cautiously, as I step down from my stool. Christian nods eagerly, suddenly looking very pleased with himself. He takes my hand and leads me quickly through his apartment. I follow blindly, but pick up on his excitement and can't help but be sucked in,

"Where are we going?" I ask with a giggle, as we pass his office door he turns and smiles,

"Patience" he whispers, then chuckles to himself, I shake my head with a giggle and virtually skip along beside him. We come to a sudden stop outside his library, causing me to bump into him, he chuckles as he turns to me, his eyes bright,

"Now Ana, I know this working with Gia is important to you, and well, even though I don't really approve... I thought this might help" he leans in and swings open the door with a flourish. My jaw drops as I step inside. My eyes take in the changes he has made in the room, my heart pounds and my face beams. I turn quickly, throwing myself into Christian's open arms,

"Oh Christian thank you, this is amazing" I can't tear myself away from the room and look back avidly, taking everything in about my new office.

In front of the two large bookcases, there now sits a beautiful white wood, ornately carved desk, it's beautiful. I approach and trail my fingers along its ornately carved edge. Sitting on it, is no doubt, the latest in computer hardware, hidden in the guise of a simple laptop, it looks a lot more high tech, than the one I've had for the past six years. Under the desk sits a soft blue rug, identical to the one I placed under his, and I can't help my chuckle. He has even added a huge potted plant in the corner, totally officey, every base covered. All my things from Gia, all my designs, samples and charts are laid out neatly on the desk, there is even a phone. I walk around it and sit in my new office chair.

"Wow... It's so comfy" I gush, spinning myself around in it like a child,

"It's the same as mine" Christian chuckles. As I come to a stop, I smile widely up at him,

"Thank you so much Christian, this is so thoughtful of you" I notice his beaming smile and a slight flush of embarrassment tinges his cheeks, "But just admit it... You did all of this, just so you could have your dining room table back didn't you?" I tease to ease and he heads over and swings me out of my chair. He sits down and pulls me into his lap,

"Ana, if you're going to do this... Then you need the proper working environment, or it will take over... An office gives you the space and separation you will need, to keep your life organised" he states matter of fact, I smile shaking my head, reading everything he didn't say between the lines. Is he worried I will be too distracted and not spend my time with him?

"Christian, no job would ever take over... I can do this while you're at Grey House all day, where you belong... When you're home, you belong to me though" he beams down at me reassured and pulls me closer into his chest,

"You're not meeting up with Gia again today are you?" he asks me suddenly, his voice quiet, his body stiffening a touch,

"No... Not until Friday" I reply, I feel him instantly relax,

"Christian, I don't really know why you're so worried about her, Gia seems friendly enough, but baby... I'm not stupid... I know that I don't know her nearly well enough, to regard her as a friend, she is a business associate that's all... Even you have those, so I will be fine, Luke is here, and will be with me at all times" I remind, he smiles reassured and confident in my safety, him and his unnecessary worrying. I just have to tease,

"And I'm no doubt sure... That Taylor also has a bird's eye view and has my back" he chuckles, looking a little sheepish. I knew it... I knew he was watching, I scan the room quickly looking for recently installed spy equipment, as Christian bursts out laughing,

"Your safe baby... This room is clean, so throw things around in here as much as you'd like" he jokes in-between belly laughs,

"Do you throw stuff around in your office" I ask bewildered,

"Not so much now" he chuckles, pulling me close, his lips rest on the top of my head,

"Was your life that stressful" I mumble with a sad frown,

"That was one word for it" he jokes, "Ana, since I have been with you everything has changed, I have changed, so lets put it this way... My office staff and maintenance repair team... Prefer the new me" he laughs again loudly, I smile proudly up at him, before nuzzling back into his chest. Oh I could sit here all day,

"I have to go baby" he reluctantly reminds, I feel his arms tighten around me,

"I know" I mumble against him sadly, holding him just as tightly,

"Will you be okay?" he asks in a quiet voice. I hear his trepidation, and feel his hesitation to leave, so I have to nip it,

"I will be fine Christian... I have plenty to do here, Friday will be here before I know it, so go Mr Grey, enjoy your day and you will soon be home" he smiles, but then his brow creases deeply,

"Will you meet me for lunch?" he asks sounding a little desperate, "If you're going back to your apartment later, I would like to see you before dinner this evening" I nod eagerly. I mentioned last night, that I missed spending time with Kate, and surprisingly, Christian eagerly encouraged me to go and see her. So I'm going home later, to dress for dinner with Kate and enjoy some much needed girl time.

As we kiss goodbye he stands, then places me back into my chair, all without our ravenous lips breaking contact, "I will see you anytime after 1... Don't work to hard baby" he mutters against my lips before pulling away, I feel he's only half joking,

"I won't... I promise" I tell him softly as he kisses my forehead. He marches away without looking back and as he closes the door behind him, I sigh a deep loved filled sigh. With a chuckle, I turn on my laptop and eagerly get to work.

.

After a morning that just flew by, I'm soon heading into Grey House with Luke firmly at my side. Scanning the vast reception area, I notice a security guard gulp and splutter his coffee, spilling it all over himself as he ducks down quickly behind the security desk. My brow creases as my mind races, where have I seen him before? I have most definitely seen him before... I'm sure of it... But where? I glance to Luke looking for help, but he just glances down at me looking all innocent. My brow furrows, as I hear his soft chuckle as we enter Christian's private elevator. As we follow the familiar route up to Christian's office, my mind ponders his familiarity but I just can't place him.

As the elevator doors slide open to a hive of busy, immaculate blonds, I giggle to myself. God, there was never any danger of him being tempted at work. I sigh deeply, this place feels so different from when I was here alone with him, painting his office. The urgency, the proficiency of business is apparent, everyone rushing around urgently has a purpose, an order, a deadline, you can feel it.

As I approach the main reception desk, Luke disappears with a nod into an office to my right,

"Hi, I'm Anast..." I offer up to the receptionist, before being enthusiastically interrupted,

"I know who you are Miss Steele" her eyes are bright, they're large and friendly, her face splits into a welcoming smile, "Hi, my name is Andrea... I am Mr Grey's personal assistant, it's so nice to finally meet you" my brow furrows. Why has she been waiting to meet me? She offers me her hand, which I can't help but readily accept. As we shake she continues, "Mr Grey, is expecting you, and told me to send you right in" her face still beams, and I can't help but notice the burning curiosity behind her eyes,

"Thanks" I mumble, a little bewildered with her enthusiastic responses to me. Has Christian really mellowed that much?

With a slight bemused shake of my head, I turn and head towards Christian's office. As I push open the door without knocking, I nearly collapse as I take in the wall opposite me. The wall I painted, is virtually covered in pictures of the two of us,

"What the hell...?" I mumble to myself. I hear Christian laughing softly as he rises from his desk, he approaches me quickly taking me in his arms. He kisses me deeply with enough feeling to express how much he has missed me, it's only been a few hours but his need is evident. As he pulls away we both look towards the wall, he wraps his arms around me and pulls me into his chest, his chin resting on my shoulder,

"This place didn't feel the same... Or right, without you, so..." he chuckles softly close to my ear, I can't help but just stare at his homage, feeling totally amazed. I smile widely recalling our day, it was a wonderful day, the day I truly realised that I could never live without him.

"Wow Christian... They're beautiful, you look beautiful..." as my voice drifts I turn in his arms to face him, his face is radiant, so happy, "You have got to get me a set of these for my office" I request honestly, as he bursts out laughing,

"Only if you don't want to get any work done... Believe me, they are very distracting" he chuckles running his fingers along my jaw, my eyes close involuntarily at his soft touch,

"Your board room..." I mumble, recalling last nights confession, he chuckles, then reality dawns, my eyes shoot open,

"The guy downstairs... The security guard in reception was on the boat, that's where I recognize him from... Why did he have to follow us? Why did he need to take photos?" my question pour out unhindered as Christian's smile widens,

"He followed us at Taylor's request, we can never go out unchaperoned... You know that" his voice holds his worry and I nod to ease him, but truly believe he worries far too much. "And you can blame Gail for the photographs, she is far too nosy for her own good, she wanted to know what we were up to," I giggle still feeling awestruck, "Your security guard is definitely in the wrong job, he should be a photographer" I tease, as Christian just nods his agreement,

"I love them, and couldn't thank Gail or Stone enough once I saw them... I needed you with me, and now you are" Christian's soft voice whispers, then he kisses my stunned face softly,

"You are such a softy Grey" I murmur against his tormenting lips, "But... I hope you gave Gail a bonus".

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx C

As our kiss escalates, I step away. Taking Ana's hand I attempt to pull her across the room, "Come here baby... I've never had sex on my desk" I tease, and I chuckle at her loud shocked gasp,

"No Christian, someone could come in" she blushes, pulling against me digging her heels in,

"Never, there life is worth more than that" I tease truthfully, while tugging her towards me half heatedly one more time. She stands straight, holding her ground,

"So where are we going for lunch" she asks pointedly, I chuckle allowing her the distraction,

"You're so impatient, are you that hungry?" I ask teasing, Ana nods with a giggle, "Well I thought we could have a picnic, it's such a beautiful day out, I didn't want us to miss it by being stuck inside alday" I smile widely as Ana's face lights up. I knew this would be a good idea,

"We are?" she whispers amazed,

"Yes... Come on," I nod, turning and heading towards the door. With Ana's hand in mine she eagerly follows.

As we leave my office and pass Andrea, she smiles at us both knowingly, I wink and mouth a 'thank you' as we pass her and she smiles brightly at Ana. Ana returns her smile with a giggle, but she then frowns as we walk straight past the elevator. Opening the stairwell door, I hold it open for her, but she hesitates before entering,

"Where are we going?" she asks, her tone bemused,

"Don't worry baby... Only one floor up", I reassure as I take her hand. I head off eagerly up the single flight of stairs, with Ana giggling beside me.

As I open the door and we step out into the busy corridor, one floor up, I hide my chuckle, as we pass many open offices and mulling staff, who are trying to pretend that they are not staring at us. It's like the benefit all over again, a sea of stunned, shocked, awed filled faces, just gawping after us. With a smile and a shake of my head, I head purposefully to the conference room at the end of the corridor.

As I close the conference room door behind us, Ana turns to me with a puzzled frown, I see her lips start to move and place my finger firmly against her lips, Ana giggles then raises her eyebrows. Without saying a word I step away, and stride over to the glass balcony doors, swinging them both open,

"This way baby" I murmur, as Ana's eyes widen.

As we step out onto the balcony, Ana's footsteps falter as she takes in what Andrea has set up in front of her. As with her dinner date, we have a large parasol, fabulous food and a huge pile of soft comfortable cushions,

"Oh Christian I love you... This is amazing, it sure beats my roof top though," she chuckles with a gasp, as she takes in the vast amazing view, "It's wonderful Christian, thank you"

"We would get no privacy if we ventured out and this day is far too nice to waste" I pull Ana swiftly into my arms and my lips descend.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx L.

As a leaf threw a guns and ammo magazine in Taylor's office, my eyes rise to the mass of CCTV screens on the wall in front of us, Taylor is watching them all closely. Suddenly Grey and Ana appear on the stairwell,

"Where the fuck are they going? I thought they were going to have lunch," I mumble glancing at Taylor, he pushes a few buttons and shows me the set up on the balcony, "Why on earth, is there CCTV out there? Unless your fucking Spiderman, that part of the building is unobtainable," Taylor chuckles at my expression,

"It has stairs that lead to the roof, for emergency Evac, fire, terror, bomb threats, ect, it is quicker to get Grey up, then get him down, his helicopter can be here in minutes so easiest Evac point," Taylor efficiently fills me in. I sit frowning as I watch Ana and Grey getting cosy,

"What the fucks going on Taylor? I haven't seen much of Grey, but he isn't as manic or deadly as you made out, this gig is kinda boring if you want the truth" I mumble sounding board,

"That's Ana's doing" Taylor mutters,

"Really?" I ask,

"Watch" Taylor chuckles.

Taylor pisses about with his computer keyboard, and suddenly all the CCTV screens change, Grey appears in all his tyrant glory. The small screens show him angry, arguing with staff, ranting at anyone in his vicinity, throwing all sorts of shit around his office, there is also a lot of moody sulking,

"All this was a week before he met Ana, since then, he's been a fucking pussy cat" Taylor sighs heavily attracting my attention, his frown is deep,

"What's up T?" I ask reading my buddy well,

"I feel something brewing" he mumbles with more frowning, "It's just too fucking perfect... Shit always goes down when things are perfect" I nod in agreement, but this is no front line, or fucked up mission,

"Don't curse them T, they seem happy"

"Not disputing that... But Grey has a lot of skeleton's, carry a lot of shit, has pissed off a lot of fucking people... So be extra vigilant with Ana, she is his Achilles heel... As the press and every other fucking weirdo now knows" he curses under his breath.

He switches the scenes back to present day and curses once again, at all the staff hanging about trying to rubber neck in the conference room corridor. Taylor types in a code and the angle of the camera in the corridor changes, a few rubber neckers notice the camera move and disperse sharpish, knowing that Grey's right hand is watching them.

"Ana's safe with me... Don't worry, but you should know that we were followed here" Taylors eyes urgently turn to mine,

"You were?" he almost growls,

"Yes... Just one lone guy, I lost them easily enough after a few blocks, Welch has the reg, Ana was oblivious" Taylor nods satisfied with the outcome. He turns his eyes back to the CCTV wall,

"Keep sharp" Taylor orders, his eyes glued to Ana and Grey heading back down the stairwell, there fun in the sun over,

"Always T, you know that" I state before standing up, tossing the mag on the desk I turn and head for the door.

.

As the elevator doors open up into the underground car park, Ana blindly steps out totally distracted by her phone. I notice she is grinning like a teenager, texting, her thumbs going ten to the dozen. Suddenly we're both blinded by flashing lights. "FUCK"

Instinct and training kick in and I automatically reach for Ana. As I try to grab hold of her, bodies surround her, swallowing her up in an instant. "SHIT"

Loud incoherent voices are everywhere, shouting all sorts of questions at her, sticking microphones far too close to her face, people are pushing and shoving her everywhere, she looks bewildered, shocked, but above all... Scared.

I step forward pushing people out of my way roughly, with no regard for size or gender. I quickly take hold of Ana's elbow and turn and pull her towards me. As I attempt to take hold of her with my other hand, she is pulled roughly away from me and twists awkwardly and drops to the floor out of sight.

As Ana falls to her knees with a small shocked scream, my anger rises. I scream loudly only expressing half of my annoyance, "STEP THE FUCK AWAY FROM HER... NOW" the sea of bodies does so sharpish, and I lean down quickly and scoop Ana up into my arms.

I feel Ana's arms wrap around me quickly, she holds on to me tightly, burying her face into my neck. I can hear her erratic breathing and feel her terror, she is physically shaking. I march quickly towards the car, as we're followed by shouting people and flashing lights. Once she is safe inside and seated in the back of the car, I remote lock all the doors and I take the seat beside her. Thank fuck this thing is blacked out, hopefully the fucking vultures haven't gotten any more photos of her, Taylor is gonna freak.

"Are you okay" I ask urgently, scanning her from head to toe. "Are you hurt?" I repeat as Ana just stares off into space, absent mindedly rubbing her left knee,

"Fine" she mumbles, tears welling up in her wide scared eyes, "It was just so quick... So frightening... So..." her low voice drifts off and I notice the early signs of shock gripping her, I better get her checked out. I turn to exit the car, but Ana's mumbling voice gets louder, "I thought Christian was being over dramatic... Being far too cautious and over reacting... Worrying over nothing... I never expected all of this... Not without Christian" she glances towards the crowd of press that are still fucking surrounding us, "But he was right, wasn't he?... I am so glad you're here Luke... Thank you" her voice cracks, but she holds back the tears,

"No probs Ana, let's get out of here" I turn once again to leave after smiling reassuringly. She's calming but still looks a bit shaken, and she won't let her tears fall,

"How did they know?" she asks suddenly with a frown, sounding a lot more like herself,

"Someone from upstairs must have tipped them off... Grey nor Taylor will be happy" and that makes three,

"Don't tell them about this... Nothing really happened and I'm fine" Ana pleads,

"We have to Ana" I'm surprised they're not down here now, Taylor watches her like a hawk, he must be busy with Grey... Thank fuck.

"No please Luke don't, someone will lose their job" she sounds sorry for the slimy bastard that can't hold their tongue,

"They deserve too" I mutter angrily,

"No... It's fine... I'm fine" she repeats, I notice she is still rubbing her knee,

"You're hurt" I state not ask,

"No... It's a bruised knee, that's all... I banged it on a table... Okay?" she looks up at me hopefully,

"I have to report everything to Taylor..." Ana's eyes widen sadly, "But I will advise him... Not to tell Mr Grey" against my better judgement I might add, we had better add security to the car park entrance, fuck this is all we need,

"Thank you" Ana whispers patting my hand. She is such a sweet little thing and spot on for Grey, we have to protect that, stop there fuckers in their tracks. I wonder how many I could run over while getting us out of here?

"You know Ana... Maybe we should take some time out, to have some one on one... I have tutored self defence" her eyes widen, she looks scared... Shit. "Ana this will not be the only time we will be in a situation like this, confused, overwhelmed, surrounded and disorientated... You must be prepared for that"

"I couldn't fight Luke... I..." I hear her voice tremble, and sigh heavily, she is definitely a lover not a fighter. She looks so fragile at this moment in time, pail scared and shaken, its a good job Grey's not here to witness this, he would have my fucking head on a pole,

"Not to fight Ana, just to protect yourself, I can teach you to hold a stronger posture, develop a stronger attitude... It will help I promise, and I won't push you... Or make you do anything your not comfortable with... Okay?" I inform her calmly, we're doing this whether she likes it or not, I will not have her in a position like this again. She nods looking worried, then glances out the window at the circling vulture and realising the need for it, she smiles gratefully,

"Thank you luke" she utters,

I nod, no thanks are needed, I'm right there with Taylor. I quickly open the door and shoot into the driver's seat, and without really worrying about who is in my way, I head out of the car park. After a few minutes of silent driving Ana's voice rings out,

"Where are we going Luke? I'm going back to my apartment now, not Escala" she looks at me like I've lost the plot,

"We're going to the hospital" I reply, as I pull up to a stop sign,

"Why?" she asks shocked,

"You're hurt" I state, catching her eye in the mirror,

"Luke... It's a bruised knee... We can't waste the hospital's time with a..." her face is stunned, I nod, yes we can and yes we are. As I pull away and continue to the hospital, Ana shakes her head astounded,

"Mr Grey and Taylor will expect it" I tell her honestly, and after what just happened I'm covering every base with her,

"Luke you can't..." she mutters still looking bemused,

"I have to Ana... I will lose my job if I don't" I throw in with a grin, and she glares at me then curses me under her breath. I smile as I glance back in the rear view mirror, Ana leans back into her seat crossing her arms across herself,

"Fine" she huffs, then mutters under her breath some other obscenity directed at me. On such a sweet little imp it sounds so out of place, and I can't help my unhindered belly laugh, I catch Ana's eye and she giggles along with me. Her face is bright now, happy, her shock over and done with.

I feel her pull at me from deep inside... Yes... She is worth protecting... Taylor is right, she has to be looked after... I will do all in my power to keep her safe, because nothing is going to happen to her on my fucking watch.


	46. 46 Enjoyable Family Dinner's

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Aj

As I sit on a small stool in front of my dressing table in my old bedroom, Kate blows out my hair. It's big bouncy and now falls in soft waves around my face. My make up is subtle and perfect, thanks to Kate's expert hands, I just need to apply a suitable lip colour once I know what I'm wearing, then I'm done. Kate beams at me obviously happy with her handy work, I thank her as she turns off the hair dryer. Rummaging in my closet, Kate pulls out a slinky Red dress that I bought on a whim, and have never had the bottle to wear. It is far to tight and has to many cut outs for me, I don't know what I was thinking that day. She holds it up hopefully, she has been trying to get me in it for months, I roll my eyes shaking my head,

"Definitely not" I tell her adamantly,

"Christian would love you in this" she insinuates with a wink, I shake my head once again roll my eyes,

"Your probably right, but I don't think it's appropriate for a family dinner, do you?" I ask, then I giggle loudly, as Kate shimmies out of her gorgeous little Black dress, and pulls on my shameful Red number.

"It looks so much better on you" I tell her truthfully as she pirouettes behind me. She can so carry off the sexy wanton woman look. She tosses her Black dress to me, and I eagerly put it on. Now this is me, just above the knee, fitted, spaghetti straps, simple, stylish, elegant, so not Kate. Were total opposites, that suit each other perfectly... Just like me and Christian.

Kate hands me a sparkling Pink lip gloss with a nod, I smile gratefully as I apply her colour of choice. Kate re-applies her trademark 'Harlot Red' to her full luscious lips, and as our eyes meet in the mirror she mouths, "Perfect".

"Wow Ana, you look amazing, you should ditch the jeans and T combo more often, remind Christian was he has" she teases, as I rise from the stool and head into my closet for shoes,

"Oh he knows Kate, don't worry about that" I tell her recalling last night, our time in the playroom was fun. I hide my blushing face in my closet. Kate ignores my heated cheeks as I return and sit down on the bed. As I pull on Kate's faithful fuck me heels, she asks,

"So are things all still loved up and wonderful between you two?" I nod barely containing my excitement, she shakes her head slowly, "Is he still still dropping hints about whisking you away to Vegas?" she asks with a chuckle,

I shake my head regrettably, "No he isn't" I answer in a low sad voice, "I wish he was" I tell her truthfully, I feel my cheeks flush again. Kate's eyes widen mischievously, oh no... "Please don't tell him you told me Kate, I haven't mentioned anything to him about my knowing, I don't want to embarrass him... Promise me that you and Elliot won't tease him tonight" my plea is rushed, desperate, but I sigh gratefully, as Kate nods confirmation of her silence, but her eyes still show her wicked sense of humor,

"Are you sorry you never went?" Lois asks, I chuckle while flushing, she never stops,

"Of course I am" I tell her honestly, "I'm gutted... Which is silly I know... As he couldn't of been really serious, he was obviously just caught up in the moment" I can feel my face flame at my confession, but thankfully Kate doesn't push, she just changes track...

"So have you moved in with him now?" she questions,

"No silly... But I must admit, I don't relish the thought of waking up here anymore... No offense Kate" I add apologetically, Kate smiles, letting me know that her feelings are still intact, "I belong there with him, but I don't want to push or rush this, I love the way we're plodding along, just taking each day as it comes, plus, you and Elliot get free rein over your apartment" Kate nods in agreement,

"True, Ell is here most nights, which is nice, he is so easy to be around and great at the jiggy jiggy" Kate giggles, and I laugh loudly, Miss Kavanagh doesn't do giggling. Oh these Grey men.

"What happened to your knee?" Kate suddenly asks, her voice alarmed as she notices the large bruise and bump I now have on my left knee.

With a regretful tut, I tell her about my unpleasant encounter this afternoon. How it all happened so fast, how scared I was, how I thought I would be trampled underfoot, how Luke protected me. I feel my heartbeat quicken at the memory, my palms become sweaty, Kate notices my reaction,

"Shit Ana, are you okay?" her worry is apparent,

"Physically I'm fine, apart from my knee, it was just really frightening, it shook me up quite a bit... I don't know how you can do that for a living Kate" I frown shaking my head,

"I don't, I'm a reporter not a pap, I investigate and interview, not stalk and harass" she sounds slightly offended, but then she sighs deeply and pulls me into a hug, "I understand how scared you must of felt, the paps are a relentless, ruthless, unscrupulous bunch, I'm just so thankful that you weren't on your own" her arms tighten around me as I nod,

"I know... They're terrifying, I don't know what I would have done if Luke hadn't of got me out of there, I just froze" As Kate and I step apart her face is filled with compassionate worry. I quickly change our train of thought,

"How did your interview go with Christian?" I ask curiously, Kate surprises me by chuckling,

"Oh it was an eye opener, lets put it that way... He's a very complex and determined man... He loves you Ana" Kate smiles at me, her eyes shine with her amusement,

"I know" I reply, smiling just as brightly,

"I mean he truly loves you" Kate's adamant voice enforces,

"I know" I giggle, as Kate rolls her eyes,

"Christian mentioned you have a job with Gia Matteo," I nod, Kate's on a roll tonight with her twenty questions, "How are things going with that? Her studio is pretty slick"

"It's going good, the job's quite exciting I'm having a lot of fun, and looking forward to the presentation on Friday, I just hope I don't let her down" I confess my fear of failure for the first time,

"I'm sure you won't" Kate reassures "What's Gia like?" she probes,

"She seems okay, very business minded and motivated, but she likes Christian, she hides it well but it's still written all over her"

"Her, and every other living breathing woman on the planet" Kate teases, I giggle woefully knowing how true her words are. Anyone that claps eyes on Christian can feel his draw, will respond to his magnetism, I sigh heavily,

"She has proposition him before, Christian as always turned her down" I notice Kate's eyes widen, "I know Christian doesn't like her, he had no time for her, when he arrived home the other afternoon and she was with me" I'm mumbling now, my words carry a worried tone,

"Then why the worry?" she asks, I snap myself out of my unnecessary jealousy,

"I'm not worried, Christian doesn't like her, so she is no treat" I declare truthfully,

"You should watch her though" Kate warns,

"I trust Christian" I simply answer,

"But what about her?" Kate asks with raised eyebrows,

"I don't really know her well enough to be sure, but Christian would never cheat on me, especially with Gia, I'm just gonna have some fun working with her, and she never has to meet Christian now" my face suddenly brightens, as Kate frowns in confusion, "I have an office now" I state proudly,

"You do?" Kate chuckles with a grin,

"Yes... Christian turned his library into one for me" I gush lovingly, he is always so thoughtful and constantly surprising me,

"Well good on you, I knew this would work" she states,

"Thank you Kate, I am enjoying it, I spent a good few hours at my desk today and really let myself go, I have some really good designs even if I say so myself, I will have to show you, I would love your opinion," showing Kate before Gia is probably a good idea,

"That's great and I would love to see them" Suddenly there is a short sharp rap on the front door,

"That will be Luke, it must be time to go" I stand grabbing my clutch and a dark gray silk shawl,

"Good I'm starving and it feels like ages since I last saw Ell, so come on Steele lets go" she eagerly pulls me from the room,

"Wow... and you think I have it bad" I chuckle at Kate's blush, "What is it about these Grey men?"

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A

As Kate and I enter the dining room Christian's family are already gathered. All eyes simultaneously turn to us. Mia squeals excitedly, Elliot blows a kiss towards Kate, Grace and Carrick smile graciously, but Christian stands instantly leaving Elliot high an dry in mid sentence. He heads straight over to me purposefully scanning me from head to toe, with a look in his eyes, that would make you think that he hasn't seen me in weeks. I smile brightly up at him, feeling exactly the same way. I notice a small fleeting frown cross his brow but his face softens as he reaches me. He cups my cheek and leans in to kiss me, his lips are fleeting as I hear his soft whisper "I've missed you baby" his lips meet mine again "So much" he murmurs,

"It's only been about six hours" I giggle, "But funnily enough... I missed you too... What are we like?" I stare up at him wrapping my arms around his waist. He kisses my brow with a deep contented sigh before pulling me into a tight hug. As Elliot passes us, we pull part.

"Good to see you Ana" Elliot says with his usual labrador kiss to my cheek, I giggle as Christian turns to Kate,

"Good evening Kate, you look very nice" Christian praises, but I don't think he really approves of her dress, it's a good job I'm not wearing it,

"Thank you Christian" Kate replies before heading straight to Elliot's open arms, they share a kiss and no words are needed,

"Hope you girls have had a chance to catch up?" Christian says pointedly to Kate as she steps away from Elliot, she rolls her eyes before answering,

"Yes Christian, it's nice when I get to spend time with my girl, lots of gossip opportunity's" I notice a look pass between them and Christian suddenly grins. Why would Christian be happy I spent time with Kate? Before my brain starts to ponder, Grace calls us all for dinner.

Christian takes my hand and leads me over to the dining table, I quickly hug and say hello to Grace and Carrick before taking my seat. As Christian pushes in my chair his breath warms my neck,

"What happened to your knee?" he whispers, I feel my body stiffen as my cheeks flush. Crap... I hoped he wouldn't notice. But thankfully before I have to lie, Grace asks me about work.

"It's going good thank you Grace, I'm helping Gia out with a large project at the moment, a hotel here in the city,"

"What Hotel?" she asks genuinely interested,

"The Clifton" I reply as Mia squeals in my ear,

"Oh I have stayed in a Clifton Hotel, last year with friends when I went to New York, Christian wouldn't trust me with his apartment, would you?" she questions with a sulk,

"Most definitely not Mia" Christian Chuckles,

"You're going to New York this weekend aren't you?" Mia asks, I nod eagerly,

"Yes we are, I can't wait I'm so excited" I can't help gush, I keep forgetting our planned trip, it will be so nice to get away, just the two of us,

"What will you two be doing during your stay?" Mia asks, I shrug and look to Christian for more info, he just smiles offering up no clarification,

"We're gonna be doing the whole touristy thing" he states proudly, and I notice he and Kate share a small smile.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx T

As Luke and I tuck into dinner in the Grey's kitchen, I recall this afternoon, "What happened today Luke? I notice you went to the hospital... If I hadn't of been so busy with Grey I would have followed you over there"

"Fuck T, you wouldn't believe it, after we left you this afternoon the press where swarming all over the underground car park, Ana was bombarded shook up, they got a little rough and she fell and hurt her knee" Luke's concern is obvious,

"Shit Luke, why the fuck didn't you say anything?, I want full reports on everything no matter how trivial" my voice carries my disappointment and annoyance,

"I know I know don't bust a gut, Ana asked me not to say anything to Grey I was gonna tell you though, just haven't had the chance," I shake my head considering all our options,

"We probably should tell him... But we won't... He's got a lot going on at the minute, we have a busy weekend planned and all sorts for next week, he doesn't need this crap to obsess over... We will have to stall him with the morning papers though, thankfully he's in meetings most of tomorrow, so hopefully he will be none the wiser" he will go fucking ape when he finds out, but with enough distraction Luke's job might be safe. Luke's adamant voice makes me look up at him,

"I'm gonna teach Ana some basic self defense, she panicked and froze, which is never a good thing, so I thought it might help" Luke shrugs hoping for the best, I nod slowly,

"Good idea, just take care of her, and for future reference Luke, I would like to know about any incident... Not matter how small it may appear... As soon as it happens... Okay?" It's hard bollocking a friend but needs must. Thankfully Luke knows the score and takes no offense,

"No probs T, I'm right there with you, she's a good kid" Luke smiles still tucking into his dinner, I nod in understanding,

"That she is Luke, that she is".

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A

After a wonderful meal and a lot of wine, the banter flows freely across the table. I notice a look pass between Elliot and Christian and I know that soon enough they will have to chat to Grace. I squeeze Christian's hand as he once again goes to fill up his wine glass, I don't think he needs any more dutch courage. "It will be fine don't worry" I whisper and I see the fear flash across Christian's eyes, he glances at his mother looking frantic,

"I want to sue Christian" Mia suddenly wails, defusing his mood instantly as his attention is redirected,

"Sue who Mia?" Christian asks with a puzzled frown,

"The paper, the one who had the nerve to publish that photo of me sleeping at the benefit, I can't believe you all left me like that," she glares around the table, as we all fight desperately to hide our laughter, "The shame of that photo will haunt me forever," she over dramatizes in a loud voice, "My friends are still teasing me" she sulks,

"If they tease you, then they aren't true friends" Grace comforts "Pay them no mind dear," Mia smiles at her Mom, grateful for her sympathy. Grace turns to the table glancing a few times between Kate and I, she still looks like she's on a high seeing Christian so happy,

"It's so good to see you girls again" she smiles at us both, while looking lovingly at her boys, Kate's voice pipes up,

"Thank you for inviting us Grace, with Ana and I so busy and preoccupied lately" she smiles glancing at Christian, "It feels like we haven't spoken properly in ages, so this was a good chance for us to catch up", I notice Christian shifts in his chair to sit up straighter, his worry clearly forgotten,

"Why don't we get together tomorrow night?" Christian suddenly offers, all eyes turn to him mine included, "Come over tomorrow night, we can order take out, drink some shockingly expensive wine and watch a move or two," a stunned silence falls around the table. I notice Grace and Mia share a look then both burst out laughing,

"What?" Christian asks looking a little agitated but more embarrassed,

"It's nothing Christian honestly" Grace adds quickly so as not to hurt his feelings, "It's just..." Graces voice drifts off as Mia laughs loudly,

"I can't believe it... Christian Grey does movie night... Wow... You will be wanting to mow the lawn next" Mia teases. She suddenly pulls my hand into hers, "Ana what ever you are doing to this man keep it up please... I love this brother of mine more and more... Every time I see him, he just seems more... More normal" she giggles at her descriptive, I catch Grace nodding in agreement. Normal is not a word I would ever use for Christian, everything about him is so far removed from normal but I understand what she means.

"I will Mia, I promise" I glance up at Christian and his eyes soften as he looks at his sister,

"Thank you Ana" Mia whispers,

"No... Thank you Mia" Christian states loudly,

"You will be saying that to me till the day you die, dear brother" Mia giggles, but the look of love that passes between them both is heart warming and no one misses it. I notice Grace's eyes tear as Carrick drapes his arm over his wife's shoulders, Elliot just chuckles loudly, and Kate smiles smugly,

"Yes Mia I think I will... Thank you once again and never forget that I love you" Christian's soft voice carries around the room, Mia's eyes widen as she revels in her brothers admiration, and as the tears form in her eyes, I smile, knowing I've helped him to do this... Helped him reach his family... Helped him open up... Helped bring them all closer together.


	47. 47 I Am So Sorry

A/N... HI EVERYONE.. AS YOU CAN TELL FROM MY UPDATES, I MANAGED A WEEKEND OFF, AND GOT LOADS OF WRITING DONE ;-)))

I THOUGHT I WOULD POST THIS CHAPTER NOW, EVEN THOUGH I WAS GOING TO PACK IT OUT, AND SAVE IT FOR NEXT WEEKEND, BUT I DIDN'T WANT TO KEEP YOU ALL WAITING...

SO AS A THANK YOU TO YOU ALL... FOR YOUR SUPPORT... COMMITMENT... AND BRILLIANT REVIEWS... HERE IS CHRISTIAN AND HIS MOM...XX

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As we all mull around the fire after dinner, my Father is called to his office to take an important call. Mom heads off into the kitchen to relieve the staff and Ana and I share a look. Her face softens compassionately as she realizes the time has come... For me to face my Mom. She glances towards Kate and Elliot then back at me. Her eyes hold mine and I feel her reassurance and support, in the small nod of her head, and squeeze of her hand. Standing taller, I call for Elliot. Ana heads over to talk to Kate as Elliot heads over to me, he pats my shoulder, understanding that it's time.

As Elliot and I leave the dining room, Ana and Kate swoop in to occupy Mia. Taking a deep breath I turn to Elliot and he nods his confirmation and reassurance that we have to do this. I know my reluctance for this conversation is written all over me, and as we leave the room and step into the hall way, I suddenly have no way out as Mom appears from the kitchen.

"Hello boys... Thank you both so much for coming tonight, it's been wonderful to see you both and it's good to see things are still going well with Ana and Kate" I take in my Mother's joyous face and my heart tightens, knowing that what I have to tell her... Will undoubtedly change everything. Elliot must feel my discomfort as he speaks first,

"Mom can we both have a word with you? Some where quiet" Mom looks a little surprised but agrees, then leads us down the hall to her office. As she closes the door behind us, she turns to us both expectantly,

"Boys what ever is the matter?... Christian are you okay? You look a little.." Mom's tone carries traces of her worry, so Elliot interrupts her before she can get too panicked,

"Mom we need to talk to you about something. I don't really know how to say it... So I will just come out with it" Elliot mumbles as she glances between the two of us, her face looking fully worried now.

"Elliot" she whispers, I hear Elliot take a deep determined breath before speaking, as I just anxiously hold mine, dreading what will pour out of his mouth,

"Mom.. When Christian and I where both a lot younger Elena... Well Elena spanked us both, it was inappropriate and made us both feel uncomfortable" Elliot's rushed words cause Mom's brow to furrow, but she suddenly stands taller and I can see that protective Momma bear, is rearing her head. "I never knew about Christian and Christian never knew about me, neither of us wanted to tell you... but now..." Elliot's usual confident voice falters as he shrugs. I watch my mom's face transfixed, trying to read all the emotions flitting across her face,

"Why are you telling me this now? What has?..." her tone is low confused and bewildered. Her worried eyes bounce between the two of us, I dare not think what is going through her head,

"Ana found out, she thought it was wrong and told us to tell you," Elliot states simply, he makes it all sound so simple. Mom nods slowly turning to me and holding my eyes. I can't speak, can't move, can't think straight and my Mother knows this. I just stare into her gaze, looking and feeling so lost.

"Thank you Elliot" Mom mutters quietly dismissing him. Elliot shuffles out of the room quickly, his part done.

"Christian can I talk to you?" Mom asks me dubiously, her face and voice suddenly softening,

"Yes Mom," I whisper, knowing there is no way out of this.

Mom takes my hand and leads me over to the small sofa near the window. As we sit down, she keeps hold of my hand and I tighten my fingers around hers. If this is the last contact I will ever have with her, before I repulse her, then I am going to saver every second. As Mom settles herself next to me on the sofa, I hear her deep, slow, calming, intake of breath,

"Christian... I have been friends with Elena for a very long time... I have heard rumors and gossip about her life style... Heard about the types of clubs she likes to visit" she stops and closes her eyes, her face twists in disgust. Breathing deeply once again she composes herself. I just sit still, frozen, silently beside her. "I never realized that her... Tastes ran to young boys... But I..." her voice falters as my body involuntarily sags, and I know that she knows. She knows about Elena, her sick tastes, her warped pleasures, and now she knows I am just as vile. A deadly silence fills the room for a few minutes before her soft voice questions,

"Christian you spent so much time with her... Years helping her to... Did she hurt you?," she whispers sadly, I feel myself automatically nod, and her grip tightens on my fingers. I stare down at our entwined hands bewildered that she still wants contact, and silently wait for her questions,

"What happened Christian? No one could get near you... Yet she... Why did you allow this to happen?" I hear her shock, her hurt, her disappointment... Just like Ana's. I gush as I did once before.

"She controlled me Mom, helped me curbed my anger, she chastised me when ever I got into trouble, so I learned quickly to tow the line," my Mother slumps beside me, her face showing her heartbreak. I quickly continue in an attempt to justify and try to ease her pain, "I felt that I needed it at the time... You saw how I was... What I was becoming... With Elena's help I studied, worked hard and succeeded" I see her small helpless nod as my words and reasons sink in.

"Did it go further Christian?" her soft hesitant voice whispers,

"Yes," I breathe, and instantly feel deflated, no hope of ever breathing right again. My world as I know it... Gone... With a single word. My Mom's eyes squeeze tightly shut as the pain rips through her,

"How long did it go on for?" she asks the dreaded question,

"Six years" I mumble shamefully, still looking at our hands, still not being able to find the strength to meet her eye,

"How old where you Christian?" she asks in no more than a whisper. Oh no Mom... Ask me anything but that, she squeezes my hand in encouragement,

"Fifteen" I whisper, I hear her breath catch quickly,

"Oh My Good God Christian... I..." her voice breaks and my eyes shoot to hers hoping to comfort. I see all the reactions Ana had, settle on her face, and as her eyes pool with heavy heartbroken tears, I pull her into my arms. I just clinging onto her tightly, never wanting to let her go,

"I am so... So sorry Mom, I never meant to hurt you, I feel so ashamed... so..." I tell her desperately, she gasps suddenly,

"No... No Christian... This is not your fault... I... I am sorry I failed you" her arms wrap around me tightly and I want to revel in her contact but her words break my heart "Forgive me Christian, I have let you down so badly... I..." I attempt to pull away from her, to look at her but her grip is tight,

"No Mom never... You have never failed me or let me down... I promise" I hear her sob into my neck and feel her tears dampening my shirt, "Mom please don't cry... I can't bare to see you like this... I'm sorry Mom." I hold her close to my chest stoking her hair, trying to ease her pain. Her breathing is labored, grief stricken, "It's okay Mom... Please stop crying... It's all in the past now... Please forget it... I..." My voice begs desperately, feeling her heartbreak is soul destroying. Mom pulls away abruptly, her voice is low,

"Christian, I promised the day I signed your adoption papers, to protect you with everything that I am... And all along I... I... I'm so sorry Christian, for not protection you... For allowing her to hurt you.. For..." her voice rasps as her tears pour down her face. I pull away further and take her face in my palms, my thumbs fighting the losing battle of wiping away her tears,

"Mom no... Please don't... This isn't your fault... It's over, in the past, it's..." her head shakes in my palms, and her dark eyes meet mine,

"It's not over Christian" her face and voice harden as she sits up pulling away from me. She takes my hands in hers needing the contact between us as much as I do, "How can I forget this Christian... I thought she was my friend... I... She... She needs to be punished for what she did to you, for what she did to Elliot... I..." my Mom speaks in a tone I have never heard before, it's frighteningly calm but ripples with hate filled determination,

"What do you want to do? I can help you" I offer, seeking atonement for my sins,

"I want to destroy her" my Mom's low growling voice surprises me, her eyes are hard adamant, "Can you help me do that?" she asks,

"With a single phone call" I tell her truthfully,

"Do it, leave her with nothing" she spits, "That woman must be made to suffer..." I nod as Mom takes a deep breath. She pulls me once again into her arms and hugs me tight, "I am so sorry Christian... I love you," she cajoles,

"I love you too Mom... More than you could ever know... I would be nothing without you" I breathe into her hair, and I feel her tears begin again.

We cling to each other for what seems like hours, but gradually I feel her sobs, tears and anger subside. As we pull apart Mom is back to her composed self, but I know it's all a front. I know that my Mom is most certainly not herself, and I will hate myself forever... For the pain I have caused her this evening. Every single tear that fell from her sad weeping eyes, I felt. They ripped me apart internally, leaving me forever scarred by her pain.

"Please don't hate me" I whisper into her soft neck, as I hug her close one more time. Her disappointment I can live with... Just. Her anger will subside... Eventually. But her hatred for what I have done will only grow over time, as her mind fills in the gaps... And that is the one thing I could never bare.

"Oh baby boy... I could never hate you... I love you with all of my heart" I feel her arms tighten around me as my heart pounds, joyously pounds as her words sink in. "I have always loved you Christian, no matter what we where going through... I just feel..." Mom suddenly stands and pulls a handkerchief from her sleeve and wipes her eyes, she smiles putting on a brave face. Standing before me, she leans in and kisses my brow,

"Go... Go find Ana... Seek her comfort... I will be out shortly," I stand pulling my Mom into my arms, thankful that she is still allowing me to touch her. The confusion swirling around in me is disarming. I don't understand how... I have hurt my Mom deeply... Yet still, she is in my arms... Mom's right... I need Ana to calm, comfort and clarify me.

As I close Mom's office door behind me Ana appears, and taking my hand in hers, she leads me further down the corridor to the morning room. Pushing me onto a sofa Ana sits on my lap. My arms wrap around her, my head burrows into her chest and I just cling. Cling for dear life. We don't say a word, it's not necessary, she knows how I feel, and what is needed to help me.

After a time her hand gently starts to stroke my hair and I finally begin to breathe again.

"Are you okay?" Ana asks quietly, I nod against her chest surprised how much calmer I feel. "How's Grace?" she whispers, I sigh heavily,

"I'm not sure" I tell her honestly, "She is hurt, broken I... I made her weep but... She said she still loves me" my voice is stricken,

"Of course she still loves you Christian, she's your Mom... Do you want to head home?" I nod against her. Ana kisses the top of my head and steps from my lap. "Come on... We will say our goodbyes".

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As I lay in bed wrapped in Ana's warm safe embrace, my mind goes over the time I spent with my Mom. For years I have ate myself up with worry, despised myself for allowing myself to live as I did... To wallow... To dwell in the pain of my past... My biggest fear was my Mother finding out about my past with Elena... And even though we never mentioned all the gory details, I felt she knew... I know she knew.

It's confusing because all my fears were unwarranted, she never turned from me like I feared, never... My mind changes track as I sigh deeply into Ana's chest. It sickens me that my Mom blames herself... That she thinks that she is some how responsible... That she could have...

"How do you feel?" Ana asks suddenly, no doubt feeling the tension running through me,

"Confused still" I mumble against her chest, her soft lips kiss my brow, I snuggle in further reveling in her calming quality, "I thought she would hate me... Turn from me... Banish me... I thought that I would sicken her, thought I..."

"Christian... She is your Mom, that would never happen... She could never do that to you... Or herself" Ana's arms squeeze me tighter, "Are you glad you spoke to her?" she asks, I ponder for a moment, then realization dawn,

"Surprisingly yes... I feel relieved... Like a weight has been lifted, but..." My voice drifts as there is still so many things she doesn't know,

"Did you tell her everything about Elena?" Ana asks quietly in understanding, I shake my head,

"I never mentioned my BDSM introduction, but I think she knew" I regretfully confess,

"How?" Ana asks sounding shocked,

"Mom and Elena have been friends for as long as I can remember, over that amount of time... Mom was bound to hear things about clubs and relationships she'd had... So she will probably put two and two together and make forty, but..." and it sickens me to know my Mom will have those images in her head. Shame washes over me.

"What is she going to do?" Ana's worried voice asks,

"We're going to destroy her... Mom wants me to" I don't know what I thought my Mom would do... I never thought that far ahead, but this... This is so unlike her, my mother has never been spiteful or vengeful... But then... I suppose no one has every hurt her, like this before,

"Oh..." Ana breathes sounding surprised.

I cling tightly to Ana, and bask in her warm safe touch as my mind once again races. The two most important people in my life, both now know everything about my blackened past and both still allow me into there hearts. My head is spinning, I never thought I deserved such love, such devotion, such understanding... Elena always made me feel that I wasn't worth any of that... But my Mom still loves me, still wants me... Ana still loves me, still wants me...

"Oh baby, thank you for supporting me... For loving me... Just for being here" I pour out desperately, feeling over loaded with emotion,

"Oh Christian my love... I couldn't and wouldn't... Want to be anywhere else... You are my life now." she whispers lovingly, placing her soft lips firmly on my brow. My eyes close and I breathe in deeply relishing her touch.

Ana's word and actions, comfort and ease me so much, that I rest my head heavily on her chest and match my breathing to hers. I feel my eyes roll and close with fatigue, glad the emotional roller coaster of this day is over. And for the first time since I knew that I had to speak to my mom, I effortlessly fall into a contented, relieved, safe... Deep sleep.

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A/N PLEASE REVIEW.:))


	48. 48 Unjust Feelings And Reactions

A/N HI ALL, YOUR SUPPORT AND COMMENTS AS ALWAYS KEEP THIS STORY MOVING FORWARD. I JUST WISH I HAD THE TIME TO ANSWER ALL YOUR GREAT REVIEWS AND PM'S BUT ALAS NOT :(( PLEASE KNOW THAT I READ EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM AND THEY ARE SO APPRECIATED... THANK YOU...HELLO TO ALL THE NEW FOLLOWERS, THANK YOU FOR TAKING THE TIME TO READ...XXX

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As the elevator sounds a few minutes after Christian and Taylor leave, Gail and I both turn towards it expectantly, "What did they forget?" I mutter with a roll of my eyes as we share a chuckle, but the smile is wiped clean off my face, when I see a torn and very tired looking Grace step from the Elevator. Gail picks up on Grace's demeanour instantly and quietly mutters,

"Ana, I will go and finish the laundry"

"Thank you Gail" I whisper as she scurries off. I walk immediately over to Grace, meeting her halfway,

"Ana, I need to speak to you" Grace mutters without even a greeting,

"Of course" I reply throwing my arm over her shoulder pulling her close to me, she looks like she will drop at any moment. I gently lead her over to the sofa, "Can I get you anything? Tea, coffee... Brandy" I ask, Grace just shakes her head slowly. I bite my lip to hide my moan, as if any of those things could help. Oh dear... This is going to be rough.

"No, I'm fine, thank you Ana" Grace answers in a voice I don't recognize before slumping heavily onto the sofa. "Don't tell Christian that I came here... I waited until I saw him and Taylor leave... I need to hear from you... What really happened" her voice is desperate, full of raw emotion, raspy from her unshed tears. I gulp deeply, hoping to God, she doesn't ask me too many intrusive questions, I don't want to fill her head with images that will only torment and haunt her.

"What happened Ana?" she whispers up at me, looking totally distraught. Taking a deep breath, I reluctantly give her the edited basics,

"All I know is, that when he was younger he was out of control... Headed on a destructive path, Elena controlled him, gave him an outlet for all his anger, she chastised him when he was in trouble at school, she made him study, helped him focus... Some how it turned into a sexual relationship" I hesitantly add. I feel Grace stiffen beside me, then hear her disgusted huff, "Grace... He was young and horny, he didn't think or realize anything was wrong... Not until seeing my reaction... I was appalled... He felt so ashamed... That's why he was so distant, he was so confused, so..." my voice drifts off, as I notice Grace's stone cold trance like gaze,

"Are you okay Grace?" I ask stupidly, as if any Mother could be,

"He was only fifteen" she almost sobs,

"I know" I whisper, understanding and feeling her revulsion and pain,

"I blame myself" she mutters, as her heart broken tears start to fall,

"No Grace" I gasp, "Never... You can't think like that" I implore trying to comfort her,

"I brought that monster into our home... Into his life... It was my fault... If only I had of..." her voice is dire, I quickly interrupt her self loathing,

"Grace you didn't know, nobody did... There were no signs, no clues, you trusted her... No one is to blame only her... She took advantage of a weak vulnerable boy... She.." I don't think Grace is listening to me at all anymore, and I know for sure when she mumbles,

"My whole life... All I ever wanted to do... Was to protect him... Yet... I fed him to her... I broke him" her head falls into her hands, as her voice hold her disgust, "I have a rough idea of Elena's... Taste's... To think she subjected my boy to that... She..." her voice breaks into the most heart wrenching sob. Oh crap... She does know the type of relationship it was, what Elena did to him... Oh poor Grace.

I instinctively wrap my arms around her, and she falls into my chest sobbing. As she calms, she pulls back from me suddenly and shame washes over her grief stricken face, "I want to hurt her Ana, really physically hurt her..." I'm right there with you Grace, I think to myself as I nod in understanding, her appalled voice continues, "I never thought I was capable of that, I hate her for making me feel like this" I shake my head desperately,

"Grace, any Mother worth her salt would hate her, would most certainly want to get their hands on her, don't feel shame for your maternal instincts and wanting to avenge your son... You should have no guilt or shame you have done nothing wrong... You didn't stand a chance Grace... So please... Don't you dare blame yourself for any of this... Elena is the only one to blame... Besides, look at the man Christian is... The man you knew he was... He loves you Grace, with all that he is... He can show you now, concentrate on that," I tell her truthfully, hoping to reassure and give her something positive to think about,

"Yes... But only because of you, you took him away from her... From all of that" Grace sobs into my chest once again, I rub her back soothingly,

"Not only because of me Grace, you made him... All the good that is inside of him, you instilled in him... I just brought it out" she sniffs loudly, pulling away from me to look up at me,

"I love you for what you have done for him Ana... How you have opened him up and changed him... Saved him in so many ways" her tear filled eyes show her gratitude, I smile down at her,

"I love you for helping me meet him... We wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you... I love you son Grace" I tell her whole heartedly,

"My son loves you" she attempts to giggle, "I never thought he would be capable of that," she sits up straighter in my arms and tries to compose herself,

"Are you okay?" I ask, while rubbing a stray tear off her soft puffy cheek,

"Yes... I am... I feel better for talking to you, Thank you... I think I will go home now... Rest awhile, I never got much sleep last night" she smiles sadly, I nod in sympathy,

"Do you want me to come with you?" I ask her, genuinely worried about leaving her alone, she shakes her head slowly,

"No... No... I'm fine, I will see you and Christian sometime for dinner next week," she stands looking down at me, her tears still ready to flow, "Thank you Ana for being here for him, for loving him... I owe you everything" I stand up quickly and pull her into my arms,

"You owe me nothing Grace" I breathe into her hair as we hold each other tightly, "I love Christian and need to be with him, nothing could take me away from him"

"Thank you my sweet girl" she says lovingly as she hugs me tightly one more time. I feel her pain, her anger, and her confusion. I wish I could help her get over all of this... But what on earth do I say.

.

After a morning of working hard on my presentation, I feel really positive about Gia's response to my designs. I have followed her brief and outline, keeping everything neutral and tasteful but added a few splashes of colour, just to warm things up a tad. Hopefully Gia and this Mr Clifton will be impressed, and I will help her to acquire this obviously very lucrative contract. And personally I would love to get my teeth into something this big, I am looking forward to getting stuck in and getting my hands dirty.

A purposeful rap on the door reminds me of my planned afternoon. "You ready Ana?" Luke asks, sticking his head around the door. I nod eagerly and shut down my computer.

As Luke and I push the dining table out of the way in the lounge, we share a chuckle, who would of thought it would be so heavy. Once it is out of the way, we have enough space to move around more freely. I'm in a pair of Gail's yoga pants, a tight T, trainers and my hair is tied up high on the top of my head, to keep it out of the way. Luke offers me a bottle of water, before turning away from me and slipping a protective box down the front of his sweats. He turns to face me, reads my expression and just shrugs,

"Really?" I question with a flush, "Are things going to get that physical?" I question with a frown,

Luke nods with raised eyebrows, "Ana, you are small, don't carry much weight, and have had no form of training, so for now, you have got to use what you've got... And hit' em where it hurts" he chuckles as I nod wearily, suddenly feeling very worried about having to practice that manoeuvre. "Ana don't worry, you also have thumbs, elbows, knees and usually six inch heels" I widen my eyes slightly shocked,

"You know heels" I tease,

"Yes... In order to protect women, you have to know women" he states efficiently, I nod in agreement,

"Okay... So what do I do with my apendages and six inch heels" I ask genuinely interested,

"Well Ana you can't fight, you wouldn't stand a chance, even against a small man, you're just physically not strong enough, that isn't even an option... So... You have to disarm and put them down before they get a chance to hurt you" I nod in understanding, "As yesterday has proven to you... It's the panic and fear that will get you into trouble, you have to overcome it... I will teach you how" he states positively,

I nod, listening intensely, there is no way I want to experience that again. The feeling of instant terror was so frightening I physically froze, anything could of happened to me because I was scared, so never again,

"You ready?" Luke asks, stepping into the middle of the room, I nod eagerly, and walk over to face him.

"Now I'm going to approach you" Luke warns before purposefully stepping towards me.

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An hour or so later, I'm hot, sweaty, out of breath, but finally overjoyed at having taken down my assailant. I giggle with heavy satisfied breaths, as I sit on top of Luke straddling him with my knees on his forearms and my full weight on his chest. Luke slams his right hand on the floor twice to indicate his surrender,

"Good... Very good Ana... That was great... Now..." I place my hands flat on Luke's chest as I attempt to push myself up, when suddenly the whole room vibrates,

"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN HERE?... ANA... GET THE FUCK OFF HIM NOW" Christian's very loud, very angry voice, bounces back at me from each and every direction. I automatically leap off Luke, more in fright than anything else. I land with a thud on my behind and turn to face a white, livid, eye burning, ears blowing steam, Christian... Oh Crap.

"Christian... I.. I..." I start to splutter in explanation, but he doesn't even look at me, not the slightest indication that he even heard me. His hard cold eyes are homed in on Luke. I feel the anger rippling off him, can see it pulsing within him... Oh Shit... Oh poor Luke.

"Sawyer... My office... Now" Christian growls, and turns on his heel and storms off towards his office. I notice Taylor shaking his head with a roll of his eyes at Christian's reaction to the position he found us in, and he heads straight off to his office, choosing to stay out of this.

"Well hello to you too" I mumble sulkily, as Luke helps me up from the floor before scurrying off after Christian.

I stand lost in the middle of the lounge, unsure of what to do, half of me wants to follow Luke, to make sure Christian listens to reason and doesn't just beat him up, the other half of me wants to run home. Angry Christian is not a pretty sight.

"Ana" I turn sharply as my name is called and relax as Gail indicates for me to sit down at the breakfast bar, where she has kindly prepared me a cup of tea. I walk over and sit down sighing heavily. I lift the cup and take comfort from the warmth in my hands,

"Patience dear Ana" Gail coo's while patting my hand, "His first response, is his practiced reaction... Let Luke talk to him, he will calm, are you hungry? Should I start dinner?" Gail asks efficiently, I shake my head declining as I suddenly remember our plans,

"No need for dinner... But maybe just a sandwich or two though for now, Kate and Elliot are coming over later, we're going to order take out, watch a movie, catch up"

"Oh that will be nice dear" Gail says cheerfully, but she can't hide her surprise,

"Well we were supposed to be... I don't think Christian is in the mood or will be good company now... Do you?" I mumble, as Gail chuckles digging about in the fridge,

"Things will be fine" Gail reassures, but I can't pull my eyes away from the corridor that leads to Christian's office, shouldn't they be back out by now?

"Gail I'm a little worried... Shouldn't they be back out here by now? Christian was very angry, maybe I... " Gail chuckles, causing me to pause.

"Ana don't worry, he reacted badly, he doesn't know any different, he's only jealous because he loves you, we talked about this" Gail reminds and her words do ease me a tad. I nod in understanding, but still can't help feeling a little upset. He didn't even look at me, acknowledge me, want to listen to me... He was so angry... But under it all he looked so hurt, so shocked. It was hidden under a lot of snarling and scowling, but I saw it... Felt it... So I understand... I just wish they would hurry up and come back.

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As I head into Grey's office, I prepare myself. Shoulders back, chest out, eyes front, my breathing even and steady. Taylor has warned me about the infamous Grey temper and what to expect from him, but as mad and as tough as he thinks he is... He ain't intimidating me... I've dealt with bigger fish than him in my time.

As I enter the office and close the door behind me, Grey is standing in the middle of the room just eyeballing me angrily. I can immediately tell from his posture that he is as mad as hell. He looks set to pounce.

"Luke would you mind telling me what you and Miss Steele... My girlfriend... Where doing rolling around on the floor" he almost growls, his eyes burn into me. Growl all you like you dick... You're going to feel the fool, with all your over reacting... Just as expected.

"Sir... As Miss Steele and I left Grey House yesterday, Ana was set upon by the press" his eyes harden instantly, I continue quickly, "They were quite rough and over zealous with her, one of them manhandled her causing her to fall and hurt her knee. I though it a good idea to teach her some basic self defence, teach her to hold a stronger posture and how to handle herself in another situation, should one arise, she was quiet panicked Sir" his face is set, his eyes not moving, he just continues to glare at me. Fuck only knows what is going on in his head, his face is stone cold giving fuck all away,

"Who hurt her?" he positively growls through his gritted teeth. Oh shit... Now I see it... Taylor's not wrong, there's definitely a beast of a man hidden behind the Armani. Better try an douse this fire quickly,

"I'm not sure Sir, it all happened so fast, one minute I was escorting Miss Steele out securely, the next, she had been pulled away from me and was on her knees," his eyes harden further as his fists clench, "I picked her up instantly and got her to the car safely Sir... No real harm came to her" I try and clarify,

"I will be the judge of that, why was I not informed about this?" he snarls venomously. Fuck I'm gonna need a hose to put out these angry flames,

"Miss Steele requested discretion Sir, she didn't want to worry you." I pause watching his face twist angrily, "Taylor was informed and a hospital visit confirmed no lasting damage had been caused to her so..." his booming voice ricochets off the walls,

"Fuck Sawyer, I pay your salary, you answer to me... Not Miss Steele or Taylor... ME" I need to distract him or he's gonna fire me... Or punch me, one of the two,

"Sir, you pay me to protect Miss Steele, in order to do that she has to trust me... I made the call to follow her wishes for discression, knowing it would form a trust between us... Believe me Sir, anything more important than a bruised knee and you would have been the first to know," I tell him truthfully,

"I should fuckin hope so" he snaps closing his eyes, attempting to breathe slowly, trying to take stock of himself,

"Sir, if I might speak freely" I request, he nods sharply not looking at me, his breathing is deep, slow, precise, as he tries to control his inner rage,

"Sir, yesterday was unpleasant for Miss Steele and yes she hurt her knee... But that was not my biggest worry or fear..." his eyes flash to mine and I pause hiding a sigh, as he yells once again,

"Well it fucking well should have been, someone manhandled her, hurt her, and you didn't think that was fucking important... Well let me tell you Sawyer it's very fucking important and if you..." oh enough of this crap,

"Sir... If I may continue" I say pointedly my voice sounding more than a little sharp, his eyes widen and harden at my nerve, "My biggest worry was Miss Steele's reaction to it all, she froze and panicked Sir, which in itself is a danger... I felt as Miss Steele's personal protection that she needed advising in this area, for warned is forearmed as they say, and Miss Steele will benefit from our training today... Sir, Ana needed to feel safe with me to participate, she needs to trust me, hence my sideing with her decision to withold information from you" I pause as I watch my words sink in. I can see his cogs turning, he has no argument on this score... Thank fuck, but I will add more water to douse, just in case,

"Sir, Miss Steele has done very well today, she learns quickly and is quite strong... Or should I say determind for someone of her frame and size, if I might suggest Sir that she continue with this training" his eyes hold mine, I notice that they are riddled with doubt and jealousy, so I add quickly, "If not with me, then maybe when you have the time you could..." he interrupts almost pouting,

"No Sawyer... If you can teach her to protect herself... Then it's fine to continue... But have Taylor present" he looks defeated but still worried... Oh a jealous, wealthy, tyrant... What a lethal combination.

"Of course Sir" I answer respectfully, hiding my inner eye roll,

"Taylor might be able to advice in other areas" he adds to justify his need for a chaperone, what the fuck does he think I'm going to do?, I'm here to protect her, not screw her, "And Sawyer... Even though I am not happy... With your... Collaboration with Miss Steele, I do understand your logic and your reasons were just... So I will overlook your transgression this time" he mumbles, god this guy can sulk,

"Thank you Sir" I answer automatically, retaining my chuckle. As if he had any other choice, but I can act all humble, make him feel like he's right and still the fucking big boss man. He turns from me heading towards his desk,

"Thank you Sawyer, that will be all" he dismisses me sullenly, I nod respectfully and head out of the room. The last thing I see, is him slumping heavily into his chair and throwing his head into his hands.

.

A/N SORRY IT WAS A SHORT CHAPTER, BUT I WILL HOPEFULLY HAVE ANOTHER ONE OUT BY THE END OF THE WEEKEND :)

DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW...XX


	49. 49 Fuck Off Elena

A/N HI ALL... ;))

AS ALWAYS... THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT, REVIEWS AND DEDICATION TO THIS STORY.

TO ALL THE NEW FOLLOWERS THAT SEEM TO APPEAR DAILY, THANK YOU FOR TAKING THE TIME TO READ THIS AND FOR COMING THIS FAR, I'M SO GLAD IT HAS HELD YOUR INTEREST...XX

IN THE BOOKS, I ALWAYS FELT THAT NO ONE REALLY GAVE ELENA ENOUGH OF A HARD TIME, AND AS YOU KNOW FROM CHAPTER 32, I LIKE TO PUT HER DOWN, SO I JUST HAD TO DO IT AGAIN...

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Grace

I have been parked outside Elena's studio, for hours now. I have been waiting for myself to calm down enough to face her... To deal with her... But the longer I sit here, the more vexed I become. I want to claw her eyes out, physically with my own bare hands rip her to bits. It riles me uncontrollably, just watching her prancing around in her salon like she hasn't a care in the world, and all along she has lived with the fact that she has abused my son. Both my sons. GGRRR... My growl and stiff grip on the steering wheel surprise me, but somehow make me feel slightly better.

To know that in all the times I confided in her, sought her guidance and judgement, she was using it against me, using it to control, manipulate and... And... And have sex with my son... My fifteen year old... Broken son... Sickens me. I lurch forward suddenly and dry heave into the passenger foot well of the car, thankful that my stomach is empty, but after the numerous trips to the bathroom during the night, and with no food inside of me... I know that my car is safe. Which is more than can be said for my son.

As I watch her closely, I look for signs of what she really is. Why did I not know? How could I not know? I have spent all night thinking back over the years she was abusing him, looking for clues, hints, signs... Anything that I should of picked up on... And I have come up with nothing... Which only hurts me more. She totally blinded me. Played me. Played us all... So she could hurt and use my son.

When Christian's attitude suddenly changed in his teens, we put it down to hard physical graft, a lot can be said for working off your stresses. As he grew and attended college, and the same behaviour continued, we once again put it down to his dedication to his studies. He'd always made it clear that he would succeed... That he would never be a man, that never amounted to anything.

Carrick and I always knew he would do well, that he would prosper, he was so determined from such an early age... But from what age?... Was fifteen the turning point for him? Is Elena responsible for how successful he is?... How powerful and affluent he has become... Was her sick control and manipulation over him, the cause and reason for everything he has become? Without her... Would he have been nothing... A nobody... A statistic of a tragic death or long term prisoner?... I will never know... But I have to believe that she isn't... I must believe and cling to the hope that Carrick and I, played some part in making him who he is.

Carrick and I doted on our children... And they always where our children... Not once, in all the tormenting years of Christian's trauma, tantrums and temper, did we regret our decision to love him... To make him ours. Surely we must have instilled enough love, compassion, understanding and dedication into him from the beginning, to make him who he is?.

They say... Look at a boy aged seven, and you will see the man. Christian was happy at seven, finally trusting, safe in the comfort of his siblings, and Ana doesn't doubt it... So I must cling to her belief, that he would of become the good man that he is anyway... He would just have led a different path to get here.

I think back to Christian growing up around Elena looking for nonexistent clues. He was always respectful, never spoke to her directly... They ignored each other... Which didn't seem unusual... Elena always said she had no time for kids, that's why she had never had any of her own... So she took mine...

I take a few calming breaths to try and relieve the unbearable tightening in my chest. I reluctantly let my mind ponder once more. Christian never faltered... Never hesitated... When he was sent over to her house for some physical punishment. Elena always seemed to have worked going on, and had plenty to keep him occupied... And now I know why... And why he was so keen.

The thought of what she has done to my boy... Does more than just turn my stomach... And that scares me. To know I am capable of such hatred... Such anger... Such venom... Overwhelms me... And the reasons behind it... Must be dealt with once and for all.

As I slam my car door, I Stride across the street and head straight into the salon. With no hesitation. Elena looks at me and smiles her usual greeting "Hi Gra.." she sings, My sharp tone interrupts her,

"Get out... Now" I say, turning to the two technicians hovering about. After a quick glance at Elena for confirmation, they quickly grab their things and leave. My eyes fall back onto the piece of trash in front of me,

"What did you do to my boys Elena?" I ask walking slowly towards her, her brow furrows and she pails as I get closer,

"What... Nothing Grace... Grace... Whatever she told you... Was a lie... You have this all wrong" I storm towards her, as she backs up in time with my approach. Her face freezes as she read my face, having known me long enough, to see that I'm in no way pleased.

Fear that I have never seen in her before is evident all over her face. Her eyes are wide, her brow is starting to perspire, her bottom lip uncharacteristically quivers. "Ana is jealous of me and Christian" she splutters suddenly,

"Christian told me Elena... Not Ana" I tell her calmly, surprised at my control. Her face falls and pails further as my words sink in, and I realise instantly, that a hell of a lot more went on... Than Christian has told me. I realise that all the sick, vile rumours I have heard about her over the years... The ones I refused to believe... Are infact true. It sickens and riles me instantly to have my worst fears confirmed,

"What?" she utters looking terrified,

"Christian told me everything... How could you Elena? I trusted you, confided in you... And all the time you were abusing my son, abusing my trust. He was a child, he was my child... He may of looked like a man but you knew how messed up he was... How broken... I foolishly told you everything, I trusted you" I grit my teach clenching my fists as I step closer. "I thought you were my friend... Were you ever my friend?... I Thought I could trust you... But all along... You were using me... To get to my son... You lied to me, tricked me, played me" she just stares up at me with a strange lost expression on her face. "I have seen no shame... No remorse... Pass through your eyes... How many others have there been Elena?" I ask venomously, she gasps then her eyes cloud,

"That Ana... She has ruined everything" she mutters as I gasp "She has come between us... Made him doubt what we have... He is..." her mumbling voice make me realise that she's not really listening to me, all she is upset about, is losing control over Christian. She doesn't even realise what she did was wrong.

"Don't you fucking dare" I scream bringing her attention fully back to me, "Ana has done more for Christian in a few weeks, than anybody or anything ever has" I scream into her face, "All the Drs, money, success, family love... Nothing... Has compared to her, because of her... All the damage you did to him can be fixed... I despise you Elena Lincoln for abusing my son... For keeping him hard... Cold... Distant... For hurting him". I'm only a couple of feet away from her now and her proximity has my skin crawling,

"You made me doubt myself as a mother, made me feel worthless for not being able to protect him... But I didn't have a chance did I? You're sick... Depraved... Vile... And I let you in... I brought you in... My biggest regret in life was trusting you, and I will do everything in my power to erase you from his memory... With Ana's help we will rid him of you... Once and for all" my words have turned low, cold, controlled, full of the hatred I feel,

"No" she gasps "Grace please, Ana isn't..."

I step so close to her that I can almost smell her fear, "Don't you even say her name... Ana is worth a million of you and I will praise her to the heavens, untill the day I die" I drawl slowly "But you... You can burn in fucking hell for what you have done" I can't help but snarl at her, my voice low and menacing.

Her eyes widen and she looks terrified, her mouth moves in an attempt to speak and I can't hold out any longer. Before I have any real time to think, I raise my arm and slap her face so powerfully that she spins before she falls in a heap on the ground. As she looks up at me from the floor, with her hand holding her cheek covering the bright pink imprint of my hand, her eyes pool with shocked, frightened tears,

"By the end of the week you will have nothing" I shout down at her, I watch the fear deaden her eyes, "Christian is seeing to it, you have a month to sell your house and go Elena" I turn on my heel, needing to get out of here before I succumb to murder. As I walk away, Elena's pleading voice fills the salon,

"Grace please... Listen to me... I can explain... I... " I raise my hand to silence her, without even turning around, I can't look at her again,

"Please nothing Elena... Nothing you could ever say, ever do, could justify what you did to my son... Could change how I feel about you... I never want to see or hear from you again... If I do... I will take out a full page advert in every newspaper worldwide, telling the world what a true sick paedophile you really are... And my boys will help me"

"I should go straight to the police for what you have done, but I will not put my family through that... But Elena... I'm going to have security put on your tail, permanently... You will never be alone, there will always be someone watching you... And if I so much as hear a whisper, of you coming into contact with anyone young, vulnerable or underage... I will destroy you" I walk slowly towards the door followed by her low sobs "You have a month Elena... Go... Go now, and never look back at me or my Family... Or you will be more than sorry" My feet once again start to move towards the door, the last thing I hear is her sobbing.

As I slam the salon door behind me, I head to my car on autopilot. I climb in, start the engine, and blindly drive around the corner. I pull over the first chance I get, place my head in my hands and sob for all I'm worth.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx C

As I stare blindly at the Seattle skyline, trying to clear my head, I hear a soft tap on the door. Without waiting for my response the door is slowly pushed open. Ana appears smiling timidly biting her bottom lip, she looks nervous. Oh hell no... I have scared her again, showed her the side of me... That she helps me keep suppressed.

"I brought you a bite to eat" her soft voice reaches my ears, "I'm sorry Christian" she mutters, placing a sandwich on my desk. I feel instantly guilty,

"No baby, I'm sorry" I implore "I shouted and scared you Ana, me... But seeing you like... With Sawyer... Caused me so much instant excruciating pain, I instantly wanted to..." I stop even without her interruption, not wanting her to know what is rushing around in my head. I can't tell her how angry I was... How angry I'm once again becoming. She can't know what I really wanted to do to Sawyer, she would never forgive me, but to see her hands on him, her body so close to his, her...

"It's fine Christian don't worry" her soft voice breaks my tormenting revier, "I would do more than shout at you, if I saw you straddling another woman" she giggles trying to lighten my mood. I try to smile but my heart is twisted tight, painfully tight. I just can't get the image of her with Sawyer out of my head, no matter how innocent I know now it to be. I feel my blinding anger rising again... She needs to go, before I do or say something that will make her finely run. I close my eyes and breathe,

"Thank you for the sandwich Ana" I try and dismiss her, even turning back to my computer screen. Understanding my mood and realizing my need for space she mutters softly,

"Your welcome baby, I'm going to take a quick shower. You do remember that Kate and Elliot will be coming over here later?" my eyes turn to hers and soften slightly, I had forgotten. My mood lifts a little, spending time with Elliot will be good, and Ana needs time with kate. Hopefully if I get the chance, I can have a quiet word with Kate myself. I need her help with Ana even more so now, the thought of losing her to someone else is more than painful.

"I did forget" I force a small chuckle, "We will have a good night" I even force a smile,

"See you in a bit then... And please baby, don't work... Or fret for too long... Okay?" she smiles softly, I feel shame flood through me as she understands me so well,

"I love you Ana" I can't help declare, as the sea of emotion in me is stirred up again. She blows me a kiss as she heads for the door. I suddenly feel desperation and confusion rage through me, and my head starts to spin. I need to touch her, hold her, just be nearer to her. I rise and head urgently over to her, pulling her tightly into my chest. I breath heavily into her soft hair desperately. I need to feel she is still mine, that no other man can... The twinge of unbefore known jealousy, pains me once again, causing my blood to begin to boil. I step back, placing my hands on her shoulders,

"I need to finish up a few more things in here, then I will be with you okay?" I tell her in a surprisingly calm voice, as I place a swift kiss on her furrowed brow. I still don't feel calm enough for normality, don't trust myself enough to hold my temper. I still need space. She nods slowly and leaves, hiding her disappointment, and nervousness.

As Ana closes the door behind her, I head back to my desk and sit down. I rest my elbows on my desk and drop my head into my hands, taking deep even breaths. My mind is filled once again with the image of her, in such an intimate position with Sawyer. She was sitting on him... Touching him. It hurt so much seeing them together, and I'm stunned and shocked at how much it hurt.

It was truly physically painful, it felt like I had let one of Bastiles best punches through. Christ... One glimpse of her near another man and my heart is at my feet. I also feel so angry and confused that she didn't confide in me, that she was hurt, that someone had assaulted her and she didn't want me to know, why did she not tell me?.

As much as I hate the idea, of them getting so close to each other, Sawyers reasons for it are warranted, more than that, they are needed. Ana was hurt and frightened and didn't know what to do. I can't have her vulnerable like that, so Luke has to help her. But fuck only knows... How I will cope when they have to do it again.

I also feel riddled with shame and guilt, for my reaction and behaviour... No innocent scenario came to mind, when I saw them both together. I thought the worst as soon as I saw them. Which indicates I don't trust them... But I know that's not true... I do trust Ana, trust Sawyer. So it only highlights my own insecurities. My own inner doubts about me not being worthy enough of her.

My muse is broken by my phone ring, I pick up and answer absent mindedly, welcoming the distraction from the thoughts I'm torturing myself with. I curse out loud, as a different anger now rushes through me,

"Fuck...what do you want Elena?" I mumble, whilst swallowing the bile that rushes instantly into my throat, at the sound of her voice,

"Christian, Grace has just left the salon, she came to see me" I notice her voice is pained, traces of rare tears sounding in her words,

"What is your relationship with Gia Matteo?" I ask more importantly,

"What?" her confused tone asks, "I don't really know her, she has used the salon a few times and I was thinking of redecorating, heard she was the person to see". Well that's one less worry, "Christian, that's not important... Did you not hear what I said?... Grace came to see me". Her voice ceases as she awaits my response.

What does she want me to say? It was inevitable, that Mom would go and see her. Elena continues, sounding a little annoyed at my silence, her tears now firmly under control, "How could you do this to me Christian? After everything we have shared... You told Grace... After everything we meant to each other... You..." I can hear her worry in her selfish, clipped tone and it turns my stomach,

"You mean nothing to me Elena, you never have" I state quietly, my voice void of all emotion,

"You don't mean that?" she gasps, I huff venomously, how the fuck could I not? She helped me break my mother's heart,

"I do... You disgust me... Not just for what you did to me... What you made of me.. But mostly for what you did to Elliot, you lay your hands on him Elena, he told me how you got off on it," I can't hide the hatred and disgust in my voice, as I'm now swimming in it,

"No... It wasn't like that, I disciplined him for teasing you, I tried to help you, believe me Christian" she pleads desperately,

"The power of eight Elena, I know you... You made him count, I know what that means to you... You sicken me and I want you gone, I never... How many others were there Elena?" I ask suddenly, pained at the idea of others like Elliot. They didn't deserve her type of discipline. Her silence down the phone confirms my fears of me, not being the only one. "You're vile Elena" I whisper through gritted teeth,

"Christian no... Don't do this to me please... I love..." Her voice is no longer desperate, but grating and I can't hear anymore,

"Never contact me or my family again Elena, leave Seattle or..." She interrupts me, her fears now controlled, her voice conveying her true nature,

"No... You can't force me Christian" she snaps flippantly,

"Yes I can and Elena... And you really don't want me to, I have already set the wheels in motions for the closure of all the salons we share, as controlling partner, I can basically do with them what I please, so I am doing... And you will get nothing" I say in a low calm voice,

"That girl has ruined everything, you and I should be together" she states sharply, I feel physically sick "She is just like all the others..." I interrupt her having heard enough,

"No Elena she isn't... She is mine, I love her, even if she didn't love me I would always love her, she has shown me how to" Elena's clipped, disgusted tone rings in my ear,

"Love won't last Christian, you're foolish to believe her... What we have goes beyond love, we are connected on a much deeper level, than something as frivolous as love" my blood starts to boil at her true feelings and confession, and how dare she even try to belittle what Ana and I share.

"We have nothing" I snap loudly "We never did, it was cold, empty, hard and painful, with no meaning at all past the physical orgasmic release... Even with all my Submissive's there was never a connection, no feelings at all, you made sure of that, Ana has turned me around, what you..." I hear her nasty chuckle and feel my hand grip my phone painfully,

"She has made you soft, what's all this talk about feelings? How can you possibly continue to succeed when you're vulnerable, she has changed you, and not for the better... You have to keep control, distant, it's the only way" she preaches, and I cringe at memories of her long forgotten... Painful lectures,

"No Elena, that's your way, not mine," I spit out venomously,

"You're like me Christian, deep, deep inside.. We're connected... You're mine... I'm the only one who could truly satis..." I cut off her sudden gentle Dom tone, the tone that always made me yeild,

"No" I shout into my phone, "You took me and warped me to suit, I never had a choice, I am nothing like you" I take a deep breath trying to control the nausea that I suddenly feel, and I can't do this anymore, can't hear her voice, can't listen to any more of her sickening words, "I despise you Elena, you make my skin crawl with disgust and shame, you betrayed my Mother, made me hurt my Mother, and for that I should crucify you, so be thankful that I'm just financially destroying you".

"Christian listen, we can still... Don't please..." she begs suddenly, obviously realising her inner Dom can go and fuck herself.

"Fuck off Elena... Don't ever call me again" I snarl, as I slam down the phone. I need Ana.

I'm suddenly flooded with alsorts of crazy emotions, that I can't pin down or control. I need Ana.

As I storm into the bedroom, Ana appears from the bathroom wrapped in just a towel. Her flushed soft skin, glistening with the warm water droplets still clinging to her. I head over to her urgently taking large strides, and wrap her in my arms, paying no mind to the dampness seeping into my clothes. "I love you baby" I whisper tightening my arms around her, and I instantly feel better. All the pain, confusion, and anger just flows away.

This is what is important... This is what matters... What we have, right here, right now, over shadows everything negative that has ever happened to me. Eradicates all the anger and jealousy I once felt. Because of her I can breathe, live, love, and I will cherish her untill the day I die, because of it.

As I hold Ana close, her head nuzzles into my chest, I begin to calm, take control of my thoughts and take in my surroundings. I notice Ana's hands are wrapped around my neck, her fingers gently, slowly, running through my hair. I take deeper serene breaths as my eyes close, and my head slowly starts to move in time with her fingers. I hear Ana sigh as she nuzzles in closer to my chest and my cock awakens urgently.

I feel Ana's smile and low giggle against my chest, as she feels me hardening against her belly. As her hands loosen from around my neck, her arms start to move. I release my grip on her putting some space between us, allowing her movement. Her hands come around my neck and start to trail down my chest, where she pulls slowly on my favourite blue tie.

Her mesmerising Blue eyes hold mine, as they blatantly display her need for me, and my heart swells. To see how much she still wants me, after how badly I treated her makes my knees buckle, and I breath a deep contented sigh. Her small smile widens as she pulls me closer.

Our lips meet. It's slow, consuming, consoling, just what we both need. I feel my cock do more that twitch, when Ana loosens my tie. Her soft fingers trail my chest, popping the buttons open on my shirt as they go. Her fingers and nail raking my skin gently. My hot heavy breaths are taken by her mouth as our kiss heats up, and I can feel her urgency. Her tongue starts to tease, dancing with mine, so I let her lead. She can take this anywhere she wants it to go. She has control. I bring my hands up swiftly to cup her neck, my thumbs caressing her soft cheeks. Willing myself to keep them there, so I can refrain from touching her.

I need her to touch me... Please me... Prove to me... That she wants, needs, and loves me... As much as I love her. I need her to show me that she forgives me, for treating her so badly when I arrived home. Her hands do my wishful bidding, as they open the button on my trousers. Her fingers slowly... Teasingly... Pull down my zipper, as her tongue trails my bottom lip. I moan freely into her warm teasing mouth, then involuntarily moan louder as both her hands release my swollen cock and throbbing balls.

"Oh Ana" I can't help moan, as I rest my brow on hers. I close my eyes, my hands still firmly in place on her warm cheeks, and I just revel in her teasing, burning touch.

As her hand grips me gently, her warms soft lips are trailing kisses up and down my jaw. And I'm caught... Caught up in the enticing allure of her, she has me mesmerized and internally begging for her slightest touch. My body is itching, from head to toe for her safe touch, her warmth, her serenity. Her hand is moving now, slowly up and down, her grip tightening with every stroke. She rolls my balls gently as my lips descend to hers.

"I love you so much Ana" I breath into her mouth,

"I know baby" she whispers before pulling away from me a little. Her lips move to my neck and I needfully arch into her. Her lips creep to my chest and as her soft tongue flicks across my nipple, my cock bucks in her hands. Her grip tightens on me as she does it again, and my automatic response to her, causes her to moan into my chest. Her kisses lower once again and as she comes to rest on her knees, her mouth takes me instantly as her towel falls to the floor. I gasp then moan, at the glorious sight of her.

With my hands still firmly on her head out of harms way, I take her all in. Her soft perfect skin... Oh... The curve of her back... The swell of her amazing behind... The shape of her fabulous legs... The rise and fall of her perfect breasts, and the sight of her mouth on me. Oh... She is so beautiful... And still mine.

As I concentrated fully on the contact we share, on what she is doing to me, with that tantalisingly skilful tongue of hers. I know I don't have long left in me. Her need for closeness and pleasure is evident, by her hungry assault on me and my body craves it. To know she wants me... Needs me... Forgives me... Only fuels me more, and my hands fist in her hair.

"Oh Ana baby... That feels... So... So good" I desperately moan, as she sucks on me harder, urged on by my involuntary praise. I feel the tell tail veins start to throb, as her hands grip and tease my balls and I know I need to come. "Oh Ana... Yes... Yes..." I pant out, as I come joyously into her hot, tormenting mouth. As she teases me goodbye, I pull her urgently up to stand and pull her close, burying my face in her still damp hair.

I just hold her close not saying a word, none are needed... For I know undoubtedly... That I will love this woman forever. And after the love, patience and understanding she has just shown me... I know that she feels the same way.

My heart beat pounds against her, my body still reeling, from her much needed show of affection. I bury all my doubts, fears, worries, and stresses, and just swim in the overwhelming love I feel for her.

Of all the emotions that have bombarded me in the last hour or so, this is the one I want to cling to... This is the one I want to revel in... Bask in... Drown in.

This is the one I want to live with.

.

PLEASE REVIEW. ;))


	50. 50 Movie Night

A/N HI ALL..:))

HERE'S A NICE LONG CHAPTER FOR YOU ALL. PLEASE TAKE THE TIME TO READ THE A/N AT THE END OF THIS, SO I DON'T UPSET ANYONE IN UP COMING CHAPTERS.

THANKS

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx C

As Ana sits on the bed watching me dress, I can't help but feel giddy and childishly excited. Ana reads my expression and body language and giggles,

"What is wrong with you? You're like a box of frogs?" she asks, I chuckle at her analogy,

"I have never done this before" I confess a little sheepishly, as I feel a stupid grin spread over my face,

"Never done what?" she asks with a bemused frown, but her grin mirrors mine,

"This... This double dating thing" I tell her honestly, I feel my cheeks flush slightly, then I flush further at my initial embarrassment. Ana smiles at me compassionately, shaking her head slowly. "I have done the occasional boys' night, poker nights and stuff in college, a reluctant stag do or two with Elliot... But not this... No double dating" I reluctantly confess my sad and limited existence to her.

"Wow... Maybe we should go out?" Ana offers up, looking and sounding a little astounded,

"No, this is so much better" I say truthfully, "Out.. We have distraction, and no doubt the chance of being hounded" I notice Ana's fleeting worried frown, and I don't relish the thought of her having a repeated press encounter myself, so, "Here" I add quickly, "We can relax, and just enjoy ourselves" Ana nods in agreement, as I quickly pull on a casual black polo shirt and light grey jeans.

"I'm really surprised Ana, at how much I like spending time with them. These past few family dinners, the benefit, our time on the boat, has all been great. Elliot dating Kate just puts the cherry on the top, as you need your friend... So we both win... I get time with my brother and you get your friend" I walk over to Ana and pull her off the bed into my arms. As her arms wrap around me, she looks up at me, her blue eyes are shining bright, and her soft loving smile warms my already burning heart,

"I love this Ana... Feeling closer to him and my family... Thank you" I breathe truthfully.

Never will I be able to thank her enough for giving me my family, for making me feel like I finally fit in. My lips take hers moving swiftly and urgently, trying to convey my gratitude for her falling into my arms, that fateful night.

Her arms tighten around me as our kiss deepens, her hands run up my back, my neck and soon start to run up into my hair. I moan into her mouth as her nails scrape my tingling scalp. My hands lower and squeeze her cheeks that are shaped nice and firm, in her sexy skinny jeans. My hands swoop under her and I pull her up swiftly into my arms, I feel her legs wrap around me instantly. She nibbles on my bottom lip as I feel my cock start to throb and I push my hips into her, trying to seek some warm, welcome friction. A sudden loud rap on the door, causes Ana to jump in my arms and gasp against my lips.

"Sir... Mr Grey and Miss Kavanagh are on their way up" Taylor's loud voice warns from the other side of the door,

"We will have to hold this thought baby" I breathe into her still teasing mouth, she squirms intimately against me, causing my cock to swell painfully, "Oohh" a low moan escapes me at our contact,

"Most definitely" she whispers with promise, as she giggles and wriggles herself free from my arms.

As her feet hit the floor she heads for the door with my hand securely in hers, "Come on you... Let's go and double date" she teases with a loving grin. I pull her backwards, so that she is in front of me shielding my arousal, as she pulls open the door.

"Thanks Taylor, I won't be needing yourself or Gail again this evening, go and spend some time with her" I instruct him, surprising us both. He nods respectfully, holding onto his smile,

"Thank you Sir... See you both in the morning... Nite Ana" Taylor says kindly,

"Nite Taylor" Ana answers, before running to the sound of the elevator.

.

As Kate and Ana squeal and hug their hello's, Elliot strides over to me carrying what looks like, two very decent bottles of wine.

"How you doing Christian?" he asks on approach, an obvious concern for last night in his eyes and his tone. I smile gratefully but sigh heavily,

"Mom was pretty upset... Did you speak to her after Ana and I left?" I ask urgently, needing to know what state I left her in,

"Yes, we said our goodbyes, she never said much else, but she did ask me if Elena had done more than just scold me, she also thanked me for supporting you" I feel the weight of my Mothers sorrow start to crush me, and as always, Elliot notices my downward spiral, "Don't worry too much about Mom Christian" he rubs my shoulder comfortingly, I smile up at him, grateful for his understanding "Mom will soon be distracted" Elliot teases with a wink and a twitching eyebrow,

"Shush Elliot not a word... You promised" I urge for his discression as he chuckles,

"I know bro... Chill... I promise, no Vegas digs," I roll my eyes hoping for the best, Elliot's tongue does loosen with alcohol... Oh fuck... I never thought this through.

As the girls approach us, Elliot offers up the bottles of wine that he has brought, "Thanks Elliot... Good choice, I never realised you had such a worthy palate" my voice is a little awed, as I accept them and begin to read the french labels. Elliot chuckles looking sheepishly at kate, who just chuckles along with him, my gaze bounces between the two of them as my brow furrows,

"What?" I ask bemused,

"I don't Christian... I just know how discerning yours is and well... I thought anything over 400 bucks must be good... So..." Elliot shrugs as he belly laughs. I shake my head with a chuckle.

As the girls pull out and sit down on stools, I graciously do the honours, gathering glasses and opening the bottle of wine. Once poured and passed around, the tasting takes place. Ana sips at her glass and her eyes light up appreciatively, Kate swigs with familiarity, like me, her tastes are discerning, money instills taste... Except in Elliot's case, and I can't help but roll my eyes, as his words cause hysterics,

"Sorry Christian... Can't taste the difference... It tastes like any crap we get at any event... Give me a Jack any day," he says wistfully,

"Can do bro" I state smiling proudly, while pulling a bottle of my brothers drink of choice out from under the breakfast bar. Thankful, that I had the foresight to ask Taylor to get a bottle or two... Just in case.

"Now we're talking, cheers bro" he says appreciatively while pouring his leftover wine into my glass. As he fills his wine glass with Jack Daniels, I laugh loudly, hoping this is the vein the night will follow.

As ana chuckle at our interaction, Elliot greets her with his usual slobbery kiss of a greeting. Ana giggles wiping her cheek with her sleeve. This seems to be there new hello now, and for some strange reason it pleases me. I love the fact my family love Ana, but I love more, their reasons behind it.

Elliot's wide eyes take in the apartment, "Wow this place looks good... Mia wasn't kidding," he heads off to look around followed closely by kate. She turns to face us as she enters the lounge,

"Ana, this is the same colour that we have at home," Kate states her voice holding surprise. Ana nods slowly with a small secret smile, "What is it with you two and... Red?" she asks shaking her head, she then looks at me slyly. My eyes widen, and as we lock eyes for the longest second, unspoken words bounce between us. Ana flushes but holds Kate's returning eye,

"This colour brought us together Kate" Ana states simply, before sending a meaningful glance my way. I hide a chuckle but can't help surrendering to a smile,

"Ana you did good" Elliot praises, as Ana beams proudly, "But how in the hell did you get into decorating? Kate said you have an English degree"

"Blame Kate" Ana replies with a giggle, "I was bored, so painted a few walls at home, Kate urged me to venture out, next thing I know... Mia has given me free rein over this place," Ana giggles louder. Like me, she is still obviously amazed at how things have turned out,

"Wow, well be proud... It looks great" Elliot states truthfully, before flopping onto the couch next to Kate,

"Thanks Elliot, and thank you to Kate, for believing in me" Ana reply's, while walking into the lounge and curling up in the armchair nearest the roaring fire,

"Yes thank you Kate" I say a little too loudly as I also head over and sit down. I feel overcome with appreciation for Kate and I need her to know it, but Kate just rolls her eyes at me as she leans into Elliot,

"I will hopefully have a job in a hotel next Elliot" I hear Ana gush,

"Wow, well done you, I hope it goes well" Elliot offers,

"Me too" Ana breaths into her glass, I notice her worry and doubt, so I change our conversation eagerly,

"So... What do you guys fancy to eat? Shall I order a couple of pizzas or something" I ask, even though I have never really been a fan. Elliot laughs knowing this, but thankfully, both girls simultaneously say 'No' The girls look at each other and share a private smile, then once again both their voices ring out.

"Chinese" they declare with a shared chuckle.

"You can't have a proper banter and get together without finger food" Kate explains, as my expression must show question. I nod in agreement as who am I to argue, I've never done this before.

.

As we sit around the over laden dining table tucking into what surprisingly, is quite decent take out food, the banter flows freely. Suddenly Ana's voice pipes up, sending a shiver down my spine,

"Kate have you heard from my dad?" Ana asks sounding a little worried, "I have been trying to call him, but can't reach him" I freeze, my fork half way to mouth and just hang on Kate's reply. Kate glances my way quickly,

"He's fishing... With Jose's dad" Kate gushes quickly,

"How do you know?" Ana asks, her voice surprised,

"Prawn toast anyone?" I mutter, offering up the first thing I touch as a distraction. Ana takes a piece politely, but still holds Kate's gaze,

"Eh... Jose called the apartment the other day and mentioned it, the're away till next week I think, your Dad left his phone behind... He would forget his own head if it weren't screwed on," Kate teases in a rushed voice. I watch Ana's brow furrow, obviously knowing her father better than Kate, and finding that hard to believe. Elliot swoops in to rescue Kate from this sticky situation,

"Whose is the fancy slinky C70, I spotted parked downstairs Christian?" Ana's eyes flash to Elliot's immediately growing wider,

"Mine" Ana beams proudly, now thankfully, totally distracted,

"Nice" Elliot drools with a wink at me. I physically sag gratefully. Ana mustn't speak to her Father... Not yet anyway.

"Very" Ana agrees "But next time, I'm going to go take it out with the top down" Ana giggles excitedly before glancing at me. I smile hiding my worry. Sawyer informed me about Ana's need and liking for the speed and power of her car, and advised some extensive driving training... He always has her best interests at heart, proving he's doing his job properly... Proving my worries are unjust.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A

Leaving the dining table I feel uncomfortably stuffed and if I'm honest, a little bit tipsy after two very large, very nice, very expensive glasses of wine. But I don't know what Elliot was on about, I could sure taste the difference. But it wasn't worth 400 bucks. I hide my tipsy giggle as Christian takes my hand. As we pass the kitchen, Christian grabs another bottle of wine and leads us all into his vast tv room.

As we all sit down on the very large reclining leather sofa, Elliot starts to rummage through Christian's extensive collection, of mostly unopened dvds. I notice Elliot chuckling to himself and glancing often at Kate. She rolls her eyes at his mischievous chuckle, as he eagerly pulls out a hand full of dvds.

"Right people" Elliot booms, turning towards us like some Tv game show hostess, "What do you all fancy?... I have something for everyone," he chuckles playfully, "For Christian... How about The Hangover... As he's a Tyson fan, arnt you bro?" I notice out the corner of my eye, Kate sighs shaking her head trying hard to hide her chuckle. I feel Christian shift uncomfortably beside me as I feel my cheeks flush, as I realise what Elliot's doing... It's Vegas digs galore.

"No thank you Elliot" Christian mutters stiffly,

"Okay then... How about... What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas..." Elliot bites his lip to hide his laughter, as I internally fold, "This one is for Kate, as she is an Ashton Kutcher fan... Arnt you babe?" Christian is starting to look really uncomfortable now, but Kate just nods in agreement playing along and I raise an eyebrow, knowing Kate's aversion for Kutcher, he is in no way man enough for her... Oh... Oh poor Christian.

"How about something with a little more action" I ask, hoping to cease Elliot's blatant digs, he smiles wickedly at me,

"Okay then Ana just for you, how about... Oceans Eleven" Elliot chuckles loudly and Kate can't help but spluttering a chuckle into her wine glass, I roll my eyes, feeling Christian's discomfort and distress next to me.

"The hangover is fine Elliot" Christian moans, realising like I do, that Elliot probably has a stack of tormenting dvds to tease him with. And I feel his pain, I really do. But I have to bite my lip to stop myself from giggling.

As Elliot presses play and sits down, Kate pulls a few cushions off the sofa and sits in between Elliot's feet. She leans back against him, and his hands automatically start to stroke her hair. A comfortable familiarity between them is evident, and I smile to myself, happy that Kate has found love too. I lean into Christian's side my head resting on his shoulder, he starts to gently rub my thigh, but I flinch when his hand touches my bruised knee,

"Is your knee okay" Christian asks, looking at me with concern,

"Yes... It's fine" I try an assure him, he stares at my knee like he has X-ray vision and shakes his head slowly,

"You should have told me" he whispers sadly, I place my hand over his and squeeze it gently,

"I know I'm sorry, deeply sorry Christian, I handled everything completely wrong... I also should have told you about me an Luke" he nods slowly, as I curse internally. In hindsight, if I had of known how much this would of effected him, I would have gone straight back upstairs after falling over.

"What have we missed?" Elliot asks quizzically, "What have you and Luke been up to?" he sneers, Kate turns to face us, just as eager resting her chin on Elliot's thigh.

"I met the press yesterday" I tell him reluctantly, I notice Kate's smile of understanding and sympathy. I feel Christian wrap his arm protectively around me as Elliot's face falls, instantly understanding how intimidating the press can be,

"Are you okay?" Elliot asks more than a little worried, I nod easing him,

"I didn't handle it very well" I confess, "So Luke thought it best, that I have some assertive and self defence training, and well... Christian came home and found Luke and I in a very compromising position" I tell him sheepishly, but Elliot being Elliot, just belly laughs.

"I bet that went down well?" Elliot mumbles, nudging Christian, who groans at his sharp elbow and his teasing,

"Like a lead balloon" Christian mutters "But everything's okay now" he whispers, looking at me with such overwhelming feeling to his captivating grey eyes, that my heart virtually flips. His hand rises and he softly cups my cheek,

"Yes everythings fine now" I confirm, turning to kiss his palm. I can't contain my flush, while recalling my apology for stressing him out. I know Christian needed me, he needed the closeness. I felt it... And I needed it to. I wanted to please him, show him how much I loved him... How sorry I was. He was so hurt earlier, seeing me so close to someone else, and I totally empathise, it would break me if it was the other way around... I know it would.

.

Half way through Watching the movie, I can't help but turn to a fidgeting Elliot. I notice him fighting back giggles and Kate is digging her nails into his leg to try and curb him. I know the Vegas connection with this film, is still making Christian very uncomfortable, but he doesn't seem the only one. I have noticed Kate and Christian share a few, not so discreet glances in the past hour and I'm unsure how to react. It's hard to pretend that I don't know what's going on, when all I really want to do, is strangle Elliot for tormenting his brother. Christian caves first,

"Anyone fancy playing a game of pool?" he offers sitting up quickly, Kate and I agree eagerly, as Elliot just groans.

As we all head into the games room, Kate quickly grabs my hand, "Well I think it should be girls v boys, don't you" she states confidently and I surpress my chuckle. Kate and I form quite a formidable team when we play together, we have won many a round of free drinks especially during our college years, hustling the guys that think all girls are stupid, and don't know one end of a cue from another,

"Oh do we have too?" Elliot groans, as Christian starts to set up the balls.

As I set up my shot on my last ball, I glance at Kate and she nods, so I expertly sink the ball into the bottom left hand corner pocket. I walk around the table confidently eyeing up the final black.

"So... No doubling the black... Or naming a pocket?" I ask cockily while chalking my cue,

"No... Just pot the ball" Christian mumbles almost sulking. I giggle, as I line up my shot and easily win the game, leaving Christin and Elliot with three balls left to pot.

"Christian your a wonderful player... But you didn't stand a chance... Elliot's crap" I cajole while giggling as Kate agrees with a loud chuckle,

"Tell me about it, I hate pool" Elliot moans, his brow furrows suddenly "How are you two so good?" he asks, "I think we've just been hustled bro"

"Jose taught us" I instantly reply,

"Who is Jose?" Christian's jealous voice asks. I look over at him and his face carries a hint of todays worry, oh this man,

"He was our college friend... My dad is with his dad fishing" I clarify the almost family connection, hoping to quash his unneeded jealousy,

"He is also a very good photographer" Kate states pointedly at Christian, his eyes widen then appear nervous looking,

"Oh... Okay" Christian mutters, then distracts himself by gathering up all the pool balls.

What a strange reaction for him to have, what would Jose's chosen profession have to do with anything?. I notice a look pass between Christian and Kate before her eyes meet mine. I raise my eyebrows questioning what the hell that was all about, but Kate smiles before speaking, gives nothing away,

"You want another game?" Kate asks as an obvious distraction,

"Elliot and I will, you girls go back into the lounge, chat, open another bottle of wine... And eat some leftovers" Christian encourages and Kate eagerly places her cue down. She takes my hand leading me out of the room,

"Oh no" Elliot moans "Not again Christian please" Kate and I pause in the doorway,

"Yes Elliot, you need all the practice you can get" he said rolling his eyes as he smiles up at us from the table, "Go Ana... Spend time with your friend, I have to teach my brother a trick or two... So he will never embarrass me like that again" Christian's soft voice teases. I blow him a kiss as Kate pulls on my hand,

"Okay baby see you in a bit" and with Kate's lead, we head back to the lounge.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx K

As Ana and I curl up at each end of the sofa nearest the fire, I pour us both another glass of wine, "Well Ana, I can understand now why you love staying with Christian... This place is amazing" I gush, the penthouse has lived up to my expectations, more so in fact and I have only seen a third of it, but I need to quiz. Ana nods slowly,

"Yes I love being here and it is amazing... But I would live in a hut if it meant being with Christian... None of this matters... Only him" Ana's voice drifts off as she stares dreamily into the dancing flames of the fire. A small smile plays on her lips, she looks so happy, well more tipsy... But still very happy, I hide my chuckle,

"You've still got it bad then?" I tease her, handing over her glass of wine. We share a look and a giggle as I think we're both in the same boat, "Have you seen his office?" I can't help ask,

"Yes... I wanna set" Ana gushes with a flush,

"You two are crazy" I say as I shake my head and settle down into the large comfy sofa,

"Crazy for each other" Ana giggle, "Oh Kate, I'm so happy you're here... Thank you for coming over tonight, it's so good that Elliot and Christian can spend time together... Thank you for dating his brother" Ana finally pauses for breath, I shake my head,

"Hey your to blame for that" I point out, "But Ana... I'm glad I'm dating Elliot too" and I can't control my blush, god what have these Grey men done to us?

"Yes... I'm glad too" Ana repeats sighing dreamily once again, I think the wine is catching up with her. Good... I can use this,

"Any more Vegas digs?" I ask outright, needing a way in to dig a little more,

"Oh Kate" Ana breaths heavily, "Elliot was such a pain tonight, you have to stop him... I felt so bad for Christian with all of his teasing... Did you see how uncomfortable he was? Did you see his face?" Ana shakes her head sympathetically,

"I know but Ana... Admit it... It was so funny, Elliot just cracks me up" I can't help but defend him,

"Don't tell Christian" Ana whispers with a slight slur, "But me too", and we both burst into low giggles. I turn my face towards the heat of the fire and close my eyes enjoying the warmth,

"Would it have been enough though?" I just have to ask outright, glancing over at her,

"Would What have been enough?" Ana asks with a furrowed brow as her head cocks to one side,

"Vegas, would a simple quickie wedding do? Or would you miss the big white wedding blow out?" I ask needing confirmation, Ana leans back into the sofa a little more and smiles,

"Oh Kate, Vegas would have been more than enough, you know me, the thought of being the one in the big white dress that everyone is staring at has never appealed, I could marry Christian wearing a sack, in a field, with an internet license held by you... I wouldn't care, so long as friends and family were all there and I got Christian at the end of it... It really wouldn't matter", Ana's eyes close her smile still in place. I hope to God she isn't envisioning that, as I think we can do a little better than a field and a sack.

"So you would marry him?" I ask pointedly,

"Most definitely" Ana answers immediately,

"But you won't officially move in with him?" I tease feeling somewhat bemused,

Ana giggles, shaking her head, a blush sweeps over her beautiful face... Love so suits her. "You're nuts... You know that?" I say rolling my eyes. Ana nods in agreement and once again leans back and closes her eyes.

I follow suit and smile happily at her heart felt declarations. Finally feel confident in the knowledge that this wedding should indeed go ahead.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx C

As Elliot and I walk back into the lounge, Elliot chuckles "Look Christian" he whispers, points to the sofa where Ana and Kate are both fast asleep at each end. I sigh and chuckle at the sight of them, and instantly just want to curl up next to Ana, she looks so warm and comfortable.

"Fancy a nightcap? It looks like we're crashing here" Elliot chuckles as he heads over to the breakfast bar.

"Why not, and you can use the guest bedroom at the top of stairs to your right", I smile, wow that felt strange, none of my family has ever stayed here before,

"Thanks Christian... And I'm sorry for all the Vegas ribbing before... But it had to be done... Sorry" he laughs softy glancing at Kate, "Is everything working out according to plan?" Elliot asks now glancing at Ana. I smile as I fill our glasses,

"I think so... I just need to speak with Kate again, especially after tonight... And then hopefully, fingers crossed, yes" I sigh heavily, realising I'm so close... Yet so far away... From finalising everything I need to... It all depends on Kate. I lower my voice and lean in closer to Elliot, "Marrying Ana... Is the most important thing right now, I can't afford for anything to go wrong. Kate's help is vital for all of this to work and run smoothly" my words and tone are desperate, Elliot nods in understanding,

"What's going on with Ana's dad? I felt the vibe and stepped in, but why?" Elliot asks, obviously not knowing all the details,

"I know thanks Ell, Ana's dad is the only fly in the ointment, he has got it into his head That... Well... That of all this... Is happening a little too soon" I feel my brow furrow as the dread inside me swirls. If he understood how we both truly felt, he wouldn't doubt us and I wouldn't have this hanging over my head,

"Never" Elliot teases, his eyes wide feigning shock,

"Ell be serious... This is important" I chastise him,

"Okay Dad... Sorry" he mumbles, causing us both to chuckle,

"Ray... Ana's dad, thinks that Ana doesn't know her own mind, that she's running on her hormones. Ray won't believe how serious we are until Kate assures him... She knows her better than anyone so he trusts her, so I need Kate to agree to all of this and help me... Or Ray says he will stop it" my voice trails off as gloom engulfs,

"That won't happen Christian, don't worry... Kate's on your side, she knows Ana loves you, she knows you love Ana... So everything will work out," Elliots tone is soothing, and I want to cling to the promise in his words,

"I hope so Elliot, I... I know we don't need Ray's permission, but I would like his blessing, and I would hate for him to cause any kind of a scene but..." Elliot suddenly shushes me, and nods towards Kate as she stirs on the sofa.

Elliot swigs off his drink and heads over to Kate. I breathe deeply, my mind racing, as it's now filled with thoughts of everything I have arranged, and why it might not happen.

As Elliot approaches Kate, she smile's up at him, he quickly puts a finger up to his lips and nods to Ana. Kate giggles as she gets up from the sofa slowly and quietly, before taking Elliot's hand and heading back over to the kitchen,

"She never could hold her drink" Kate teases, as she reaches the kitchen "God that fire zaps you" she mumbles with a yawn walking into Elliot's open arms.

"We're gonna stay here if that's okay baby? Save us trekking home" Elliot's soft voice whispers as he looks down at her,

"Oh thank goodness" Kate breathes into his chest with a low chuckle, "Please point me in the right direction before I drop" Kate whispers, Elliot takes her hands and leads the way.

I smile watching the two of them, Elliot really does love her. Ell's always been a player, but Kate means more to him than just a bit of fun, which I find puts a stupid grin on my face. As I watch them climb the stair, Elliot turns to face me "Night Christian and thanks for tonight it's been great" I grin up at him nodding,

"Thank you both for coming" I say honestly, Elliot chuckles as Kate turns to face me,

"Christian" she mumbles sleepily,

"Yes Kate" I ask eagerly,

"You're good to go" she says with a smile, and my heartbeat stutters,

"What?" I mumble, needing a second hearing,

"Send off all the final confirmations, we're good to go... I will finalise everything and deal with Ray while you're away" I hear and feel the breath leave me, and without even thinking I rush forward, taking the stairs two at a time until I reach her and Elliot. He steps back as I wrap my arms around her, I pull her close feeling more than just grateful,

"Oh thank you Kate, I can't tell you how much this means, I..." my words pour out desperately,

"Don't thank me Christian... Just look after her, because if you hurt her I will kill you" she tries to look menacing but it fails to work.

"I won't... I promise," I answer sounding more than determined,

"Good... Now I'm going to bed as I have a very busy weekend now" she mutters playfully rolling her eyes, "Have a good time in New York Christian" she offers up as she starts to climb the rest of the stairs,

"We will, I promise" I turn to Elliot feeling dumbstruck, his grin widens at my soppy stunned face and as usual he lightens and teases,

"So... Looks like you're getting married bro" I nod wide eyed to stunned for words "Is it too late to go out and stag?" Elliot whispers sly eyeing Kate,

"Yes it is" she hisses "Get your arse up here," Kate grabs Elliot by his collar and drags him to the guest bedroom. I chuckle excitedly as I watch the two of them leave.

As I descend the stairs my eyes don't leave Ana, she has curled up more into the sofa and she looks so small and delicate. Grabbing a cushion I sit on the floor beside her and rest my arm and chin on the side of the sofa. I just gaze at her. Unable to pull my eyes away.

She always looks so beautiful when she is sleeping, especially in the light from the fire. But tonight even more so, because tonight I know for certain... That she will be mine... And always will be.

Kate has finally agreed to help me, she will now make sure that every little thing I have arranged will fall into place... Hopefully... Without a hiccup. She will finally convince and get Ray on our side.

I sigh heavily full of relief, causing a strand of Ana's hair to brush across her cheek tickling her. She squirms and wafts her hand across her face as her eyes half open. She smiles slowly as she spots me inches away from her, and giggles as she tries to right herself.

"Hi baby" I whisper lovingly,

"Hi to you too" she mumbles sleepily, "Have I been asleep for long?" she asks while stretching and sitting up,

"Not long enough... So come on, let's get you to bed", I jump up and swing her effortlessly into my arms and head off towards our bedroom. I turn on my heel suddenly remembering, and head straight for the kitchen. I place Ana on the breakfast bar, as her eyes widen questioning. I smile as I take a fresh glass and fill it a third of the way with water. I then dig out two Advil from the first aid box under the sink,

"Take these and drink all the water" I say handing everything over to Ana, she smiles up at me, takes the tablets and drinks the entire glass without so much as a word. As she places her glass down, I swoop her up into my arms again, and she snuggles into my shoulder. Her warm breath tickles my neck and I rest my head on hers, as I head for our bedroom.

As Ana lays squirming and giggling on the bed, I battle in tug of war with her tight skinny jeans, "How in the hell did you get these on?" I ask, finally managing to win and pull the legs of her jeans over her feet, thus freeing both of her legs. She giggles and rolls onto her side, quickly snuggling in under the covers. She still has her T shirt on, but what the hell... At least she's half undressed. I quickly pull off all my clothes and jump into bed beside her. I wrap my arm around her and pull her into my chest, I can feel her deep even breaths, and I know that sleep will reclaim her any second, she has had a little too much wine I think. I chuckle softly,

"I love you baby" I purr, nuzzling and nibbling her ear, she squirms back into me further,

"I know you do... But do you know what you don't know? Cause I do" Ana mumbles almost incoherently,

"What?" I chuckle, getting closer to hear her better,

"I love you more" she whispers before kissing my cheek, and as her head falls back onto the bed, her eyes roll and she falls fast asleep.

I lay beside her smiling to myself, totally content, totally happy. I hold on tightly to her, letting her warmth seep into me. I close my eyes, preparing myself for a good night's sleep, safe in the knowledge that I will never lose her. That this will never end, I will never sleep alone, never be alone, never feel alone...

Because come Monday... She will be mine.

.

A/N AS FOR WARNED, THERE IS GOING TO BE A LIT BIT OF UPSET FROM HERE ON IN, ALOT OF TEARS, TRAUMA, AND TAMTRUMS ARE GOING TO HAPPEN BEFORE MONDAY. BUT I PROMISE YOU, THAT NO MATTER HOW BAD THINGS MAY APPEAR, A 'HEA' IS GUARENTEED. SO PLEASE STICK WITH ME... PLEASE REVIEW. ;))

JUST TO CLARIFY, REGARDING YOUR PM'S AND REVIEWS... THERE WILL BE NO DEATHS... NO CHEATING... OR ANYTHING TO UPSETTING.

I'M SORRY IF AFEW OF YOU DON'T WANT ANY DRAMA, BUT I JUST FELT THE STORY NEEDED ABIT BEFORE THEIR FINAL HEA.


	51. 51 An Unpleasant Encounter

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx K

As I sit at the breakfast bar next to Ana, I stare into my coffee cup, anything to keep my eyes busy. Gail places another croissant fresh from the oven down in front of me, and I eagerly tare into it, "Thanks Gail, these are great" I praise, "You welcome Miss Kavanagh" Gail's sunny face beams,

"Kate please" I offer up, and receive her small confirming nod.

Gail glances to my left and I can't help smiling, as her eyes widen excitedly and she fights so hard, to hide her chuckle. I roll my eyes as I follow her gaze, "For the love of God... Will you two please stop... How much longer do we have to put up with your tonsil tennis" I tease, as Ana and Christian finally pull their faces away from each other,

"Sorry Kate" Ana mumbles, still mirroring Chrisitan and leaning over the breakfast bar towards him. Their eye contact doesn't break, and I know I've made the right decision. These two deserve each other... No... More than that... These two are made for each other.

As Christian leans in closer to Ana, and Ana involuntarily starts to lean towards him again, I put a stop to 'game set and match', "Right Christian, we all have very busy days today, so go... Find Ell and get your butts off to work, things won't run and organise themselves you know" I say pointedly raising my eyebrows at him.

Knowing exactly how much Christian has to sort out before they leave today, he really does need to get a move on. He reluctantly pulls away from Ana and stands erect, in more ways than one. Ana giggles, as I pretend not to notice, choosing to stare down at my half eaten croissant. I chuckle to myself, as Gail flushes and quickly hides her head in the fridge.

Christian closes his suit jacket and heads for the staircase, "Lelli" he shouts loudly, "We're gonna be late" his face beams and his chuckle radiates out of him, as Elliot appears at the top of the stairs and yells back at him,

"Then you grab the lunches and I'll grab the sports kits" the two men stop still, just staring at each other, then both burst out laughing at the obvious childhood memory.

I smile fondly as I hear Ana sighing happily beside me. She rests her chin in her open palms and rests her elbows on the breakfast bar. She should sigh and be content, she did all of this. Elliot loves Christian, he loves the bond they have developed over the past few weeks, and by the soppy face of the mighty Christian Grey, he is reveling too.

Christian and Ell head over to us, to get their dutiful goodbyes. Ell and I can't help share a groan, as Ana and Christian's goodbye lasts a hell of a lot longer than ours did. Anyone would think they would never see each other again, even Elliot has soon had enough,

"Come on bro, put her down for Christ sakes, the day is nearly over" as they pull apart, Ell drags Christian over toward Taylor and the elevator, as I take Ana's hand and drag her over to the sofa. I smile as I notice a million unspoken words pass between them, before he finally disappears out of sight.

"You two are totally OTT" I tease, as we flop down onto the sofa. I chuckle as I hear Gail's giggle from the kitchen,

"Hey... You two seem pretty keen on each other too" Ana bounces back defensively,

"I know, Elliot's asked to move in with me" I confess Elliot's Jack induced ramblings from last night, Ana smiles and nods,

"He may as well cause I won't get in your way, I plan on being here every night, you may as well re-rent my room out" Ana giggles, I chuckle as she does have a point, after this weekend she won't need it,

"Are you popping home today? You haven't packed anything for your New York trip, shall I pack you a few bits and drop them off?" I offer, but Ana surprises me by shaking her head,

"No need, I have all the basics here and well... Christian wants to take me shopping" Ana smiles brightly at me,

"He does?" I question, Christian never mentioned this. I went over the itinerary with him for this trip, and if they do everything that he has planned, when on earth are they going to find time to shop? Saying that, Christian has that much money the shops will come to him.

"Yep" Ana chirps, "Christian thinks I need to fill more space in his closet, so he wants to treat me" oh the joys of unlimited shopping I gush inwardly. It's so wasted on Ana, knowing her, it will be a few new pairs of jeans and the odd T.

"Oh lucky you, but don't forget, don't even bother looking at the price tags and whatever you do, don't drag him into gap". I tease, as Ana rolls her eyes with a giggle. "Look I have to go, I have a few important calls to make, and a lot of things to do today, and so do you, what time is your meeting with Gia?" I ask, and Ana suddenly shows her nerves,

"I have to meet her at the hotel at about 1 o,clock" she mutters before biting her lip,

"Don't look so nervous you'll be fine, just polish up your designs and let them speak for themselves, they're great... But I'll wish you luck all the same, even though you don't need it." and it's true, her ideas and hidden flair for this will see her through, I really don't know what she is worrying about,

"Thanks Kate" Ana mumbles still not sounding to convinced, I stand and grab my things, then pull Ana up from the sofa, "Have a great time in New York okay, and I will see you when you get back" I pull Ana into a tight bear hug before we head to the elevator,

"I will have a fabulous time don't worry, I'm so excited" Ana suddenly gushes, I think the reality of the weekend has just hit her, and so it should, it is going to be amazing. I'm so envious,

"You should be, New York is a great place" I tell her truthfully, oh I wish I was going to. As the elevator doors open I step inside,

"Thanks for last night Kate, it was really nice spending time with you, Christian really appreciated it" Ana says gratefully, and I chuckle, oh if only she knew,

"Oh I know Ana, I know... Love you Ana" I tell her as I press the down button,

"Love you too Kate" Ana's voice sings as the doors begin to close. As soon as the doors close completely, I pull out my phone to call Christian.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A

After and hour or two of polishing up my designs, I finally feel happy, nervous, but happy, about the choices I have made. Realising that time is running away with me, I head for the bedroom and jump in the shower. I have decided to dress in a sharp black pencil skirt with a slit up the back, and a light grey silk gypsy blouse. With it tucked into a wide belt and matched with killer heels, I look sexy but professional. Thanks once again to Kate, and her vast and accessible wardrobe.

As I sit on the bed pulling on my shoes, my phone rings. I lean over and retrieve it from the bedside cabinet and smile as Christian's gorgeous face appears.

"Hi Christian" I greet him fondly,

"Hi baby" his voice breathes in my ear, "I wanted to wish you luck for your meeting"

"Thank you" I reply feeling the butterflies in my stomach start to dance again, I take a calming breath as Christian continues,

"I have some bad news though, we have to set off a bit earlier this afternoon. There is going to be a lot of high winds later on today, so we need to take off before they hit" his voice carries apprehension,

"Is it still safe to fly?" I ask stupidly, as if Christian would risk it,

"It's fine Ana, don't worry" he assure me with a chuckle,

"Okay, I will let Gia know" I hear his deep sigh down the phone,

"I will meet you at the airfield at 2 o,clock, okay baby?" Christian says softly, "Taylor will be swinging by Escala soon, Gail will of finished our packing, so Taylor will be picking up the luggage, any problems speak to him okay?" Christian informs efficiently, but his voice sounds worried suddenly,

"It's fine Christian don't worry about me, Luke will be with me alday and after my meeting, I will head straight over to meet you" my mind and body start to react once again to the thought of my presentation, and I feel my hands start to sweat. Christian easily picks up on my mood,

"Baby" he breathes softly, causing my scalp to tingle and my eyes to roll, "If this all falls through... I will build you a hotel" I chuckle shaking my head, my body and nerves eased,

"Like I've always said... You have more money than sense" I giggle once again, astounded by his generosity,

"With you, most definitely... I love you Ana" he whispers softly, "Don't be late" he adds,

"I won't I promise, see you soon... Love you too Christian" I whisper longingly, and I hear his soft contented sigh, just before the line goes dead.

After speaking to Gia and rearranging out meeting, I head to my office and grab all my designs. Entering the kitchen Gail is just staring at me, looking all giddyfied. "What?" I ask, giving myself the once over, to try and see what she's laughing at.

"Oh Ana you look wonderful, very smart... I have something for you" she sing songs,

"You do?" I question, but can't help giggling as her excitement is contagious,

"Yes, Mr Grey asked me to give you this when you were leaving" She smiles warmly as she bends down behind the breakfast bar.

As she stands, she holds up a huge box, it's at lease three foot by two foot, an inch or two deep, and by the way Gail swings it up onto the breakfast bar, it isn't very heavy. My eyes light up, as I step eagerly toward her and my gift.

The light blue pinstripe box is wrapped with a huge dark blue bow, which I eagerly pull open. As I lift the lid on the box I notice Gail is bouncing next to me. I smile up at her, as I pull out my new dark grey leather portfolio case. It looks like something an experienced artist would have, to proudly show off their work.

My hand trails the front of the case, my fingers feeling the raised edges of the large silver engraved 'A', "It's beautiful" I mumble, but my brow furrows, as the 'A' looks slightly off centre as if awaiting another letter, "Did he forget my Surname?" I mutter, as Gail chuckles,

"Look, you'd better go, you can't be late" Gail urges, as Luke magically appears from Taylor's office.

.

As luke pulls up outside The Clifton Hotel, I take a deep calming breath, trying desperately to get my nerves under control. Luke catches my eye in the rear view mirror and smiles, "Ana, you will be fine just remember, breath, remain confident, and stay composed" I nod, calling on my inner determination. Luke chuckles, as I must not look as calm as I think I do. "If you get too nervous... Just imagine them all in their underwear" Luke teases, and I laugh loudly as Luke steps out of the car.

As Luke and I sit in the vast hotel reception, I glance at the large clock on the wall yet again. Gia is already fifteen minutes late, I just hope she gets here soon, I have to be at the airfield in just over an hour. As I anxiously glance to the revolving doors once more, I sigh in relief as Gia breezes in. She is looking her usual, stunning, elegant self, and I'm so glad I made a bit more of an effort with my appearance, I would of looked a complete fool in jeans.

"So sorry Ana I got caught up" Gia gushes as she reaches me, and leans in for a miss by a mile air kiss. I notice Luke frowning slightly over her shoulder,

"It's fine Gia, but I do have to leave by 1.45 to catch my flight" I point out, hopefully reminding her how short we are for time,

"Oh you will love New York, how long are you going for?" she asks, while shrugging out of her coat and attempting to sit down,

"Only until Sunday... Wont the manager be waiting for us?" I ask, eager to get this ball rolling,

"Probably, Do you want to grab a drink in the bar first?" she asks surprisingly, I shake my head,

"I don't think we really have time" I state catching Luke's eye, he shakes his head minutely. I notice his eyebrows twist in annoyance at Gia'a heavy huff,

"Come on then, I know you have to leave... So let's do this" she turns sharply on her heel, and heads over to the reception.

As we head to the manager's office, Luke follows behind us closely. As we approach the door, Gia turns squarely to face Luke raising her eyebrows, indicating that this is as far as he goes. Lukes posture hardens but his voice remains civil,

"I will wait for you here Miss Steele" He informs me with a polite nod, before placeing his back firmly against the wall next to the door,

"Thank you Sawyer" I smile up at him as Gia pushes open the door.

As we enter the large masculine office, the first thing I notice, is the wall of in-house CCTV. I take in the plush interior of my surroundings on the little TV screens, "Wow this place looks amazing" I mutter, sounding more than a little awed. I hope I'm not in over my head I nervously ponder.

"It will be by the time we've finished with it" Gia states confidently, while opening her large portfolio and arranging her designs on the large mahogany desk,

"Where is Mr Clifton?" I ask following her lead, and unzipping my new case and taking out my design boards,

"He will join us any minute... Show me what you got" Gia says reaching for my boards, I hand them over hesitantly,

I watch nervously as her eyes study every small detail of my proposed designs, I bite my lip watching and waiting for her initial reaction. Her eyes look into mine, widening "Wow Ana, these are great, you really do have a talent for this" Gia praises and I let out the breath I was holding and finally relax.

As Gia arranges everything on the desk, the office door swings open, and who I'm presuming is Samuel Clifton comes storming in. I'm instantly reminded of Christian, even though he looks nothing like him, its just the aura of power that surrounds him. But unlike Christian, who oozes it effortlessly, Samuel Clifton has to work at it.

He's around forty, about five eleven, well build, but is carrying the few extra pounds that comes with rich living. His styled to perfection hair is a dull sandy colour, and his muddy brown eyes hold little warmth. His suit is sharp, made to measure, he carries himself well but if I'm honest, he instantly creeps me out.

Before the door has even closed behind him, Gia goes into full schmooze mode. Rushing over to him, her hand outstretched in greeting, "Samual, great to see you again" she gushes,

"Sam" he mutters, his eyes scanning her briefly as he automatically shakes her hand. His eyes lock onto mine but only for a second, then they trail me from head to toe, slowly. As his eyes rake all over me, I feel my stomach twist nervously.

"Ana, let me introduce you to Mr Samuel Clifton, he is the owner of this fine establishment" Gia turns towards me and they both step forward. I fight the urge to step backwards as I force a smile on my face. "Sam, this is Anastasia Steele, my new right hand" I step forward to accept his offered hand, hiding my reluctance.

"Nice to meet you Anastasia" he drools, and a shiver runs up my spine, but not in a good way. I take his hand politely, and force myself to return the shake of his clammy hand.

"Nice to meet you too" I manage to muster up, his thumb strokes my wrist as he releases my hand, but I pretend not to notice and turn earnestly to Gia. I notice her eyebrow twitch as she hides a small frown,

"I have heard nothing but good things about you" he leers as I blush,

"I hope I don't disappoint" I mutter, then cringe at his reply,

"I'm sure you won't" he drools, as my skin crawls.

After half an hour or so of going over our proposals, Sam Clifton is impressed. He has a board of mine, and one of Gia's and is clearly undecided, "Which would you prefer?" he asks me, standing just a little bit too close for comfort, I shift further around the table out of his way, and pick up Gia's board.

"Well I'm torn between the two" I tell him truthfully, even though I wish he would choose mine, but Gia's is also very impressive,

"Take five Ana, go upstairs and look around" Gia suddenly suggests, "The rooms always look different in the cold light of day, so take a few things upstairs, then make your final decision"

"It's getting a little late Gia" I tell her hiding my apprehension, and urgent need to flee,

"It's fine, be quick" she dismisses, Handing me a card key for room 602 before engaging Sam in conversation.

Realising that I don't have a choice, I reluctantly leave the office, instruct Luke to wait for me in reception, and rush urgently towards the elevators.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Gia

"These are great Gia, your designs are very impressive, you certainly live up to your reputation" Sam says appreciatively, I nod my thanks but hold my tongue in response to his praise, as I notice his eyes lock onto Ana, as she appears on the CCTV wall. I contain my frustrated sigh.

I knew it would be a good idea including her on this, work wise she is amazing... But just what the hell is it about her?

She wears hardly any makeup, has wild unruly hair, hasn't got much dress sense, and is as nervous as a kitten... Yet still has every decent man falling at her feet. I can't see the appeal myself, but Sam hasn't taken his eyes off her.

I can't help my cocked eyebrow then slow sneer, as I see Sam trail his tongue over his lips slowly. My eyes instinctively roll as his pupils dilate... He wants her,

"Pretty isn't she?" I whisper with a low giggle,

"Yes... Very nice... But she seems familiar" Sam mutters, I smile as he watches her every move, until she enters the hotel room and vanishes from the screen, then his eyes turn to mine, "I've seen her before... I just can't place her" his brow furrows showing intrigue,

"She is currently entertaining Christian Grey" I manage to say without spitting, Sam's eyes widen in recognition,

"Oh yes of course... Is it serious?" he asks urgently, brushing his tongue over his lips once again. Well... He seems to have taken a shine to our little Ana, my mind starts to tick over,

I snigger before replying, "This is Christian Grey we're talking about, so how serious could it possibly be" I jest but insinuate, hopefully giving him the green light. His eyes widen as he watches the door of the hotel room, I notice the swell in his pants as he shifts in his chair,

"I think I will pop upstairs... See if I can assist her in any way" he mutters, and I know exactly what he's thinking, and I'm not gonna stop him,

"Yes you do that, she was struggling to make a decision, go help her out" I encourage hiding my smile, without another word he leaves the room. I lean back in my chair and watch the CCTV wall, "Oh this should be interesting" I can't help mutter as Sam enters the lift.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A

As I rush around the very swish hotel room holding up colour charts in natural light, I suddenly see the door open in front of me. Sam Clifton walks slowly into the room and closes the door behind me.

"I thought I would offer my opinion" he utters softly stepping closer to me, I shift instinctively across the room so that the sofa is between us. I don't know what it is... But he makes my skin crawl.

"It's fine Mr Clifton, I have made my decision" I state firmly edging towards the door, he smirks and sits down on the sofa tapping the seat beside him,

"Come on Ana sit... Tell me about your ideas," I swallow as his eyes hold mine, because if I'm reading him right, then talking is the last thing on his mind,

"I'm sorry Mr Clifton, you will need to Speak to Gia, I have a plane to catch" I say confidently, trying hard to keep my nerve. As I near the door, I pull it open and step out into the hallway, wishing to god I was psychically linked to Luke.

As I step into the hallway I rush to the nearby elevator, pushing the call button urgently hoping that no one else has called it. It opens instantly, 'thank you' I pray to the heavens as I hurry inside and press the down button. As the door closes far too slowly for my liking, I breathe a sigh of relief, then freeze, as a hand suddenly appears between the few inches of open door, just like in a horror movie.

I bite my lip as my heart starts to pound and my head starts to swim. As Sam steps into the lift, he smiles a slow drawn out smile, but his eyes show nothing.

I step back instinctively, as Sam steps closer.

As the doors close Sam turns to me fully, "You're very pretty Anastasia" he attempts to purr,

"Thank you" I mutter not making eye contact, he takes a step closer and my heart starts to palpitate,

"Yes... You're very pretty indeed" he mutters, standing directly in front of me. As he lifts his arm up towards me, I smell his pungent cologne and it turns my stomach. His fingers reach towards me, to slowly tuck that stupid, misbehaving strand of loose hair behind my ear. His fingers trail my jaw before they leave me, and I use all my strength to hide my flinch. His slow drawn out words fill the small space, "Don't be shy Ana" he coo's.

As he shuffles closer in front of me, he looks me up and down. His eyes hood and darken as they rest on my chest, and I internally cringe as I read his body language... Oh fuck.

He suddenly takes hold of my wrist, and I gasp at the contact. I automatically step back trying to pull my wrist free, but his grip tightens. He ignores my discomfort and rebuke, and pulls me into him roughly, his lips brush the side of my mouth and I feel myself freeze. As my heart stops, and my knees begin to tremble, I feel lightheaded as I feel the perspiration spread all over my body... And I realise that panic is creeping in.

"Come on Ana, I want the same aftercare that Grey is getting" his vile words ring in my ears before sinking in, and I know this can only end one way.

As I fight the panic and nausea, Luke's voice floods my mind. I close my eyes for just a second, trying hard to concentrate. Luke assured me, stay calm... Stay safe. All I have to do, is breath... Assess... Defend.

I breath deeply allowing my body to relax, and I slowly raise my eyes to his. As my body calms and relaxes in front of him, I see the change in him, and a small snigger leaves his curled lips. He thinks he's got me... Oh fuck.

Still holding onto my wrist, he pulls me again towards him, I stumble forward on one foot but manage to hold my posture. I force a smile and look up at him, trying to lull him into a false sense of security, and as he starts to lean into me, I detatch and focus. Stay strong Ana... Focus... Breath... Access. He leans in further and his lips touch mine once again.

I fight the urge to scream and run as I concentrate on Luke's voice. 'Your first priority is to get the upper hand, you need to play along... No matter what the situation... Then use what you can' his voice reminds and keeps me calm.

I let my lips robotically respond to his, trying hard to ignore the pungent smell of him that is making my stomach heave. The feel of his wet slobbering lips is vile, and I feel physically sick. I feel his grip on my wrist tighten further but I have to stay calm, I can't panic, I just have to remember to breath.

"That's right Ana, we can have some fun" he mumbles against my forced moving lips, I feel his other hand start to move to my hip. And I know I don't have long.

His slimy mouth and bad breath are repulsive and combined with his touch, it is making my head spin once again... But I need to say calm and play along. As I feel him relax, I know that I'm gaining some control.

'Oh Christian, please forgive me' I internally beg, as I bring my hand up and into his hair. I run my fingers slowly through his stiff locks encouraging him, and I soon feel his entire body relax. When I know for sure that all his rigidity has gone, I know then that I'm in a better position... Because he's now vulnerable.

"That's right Ana" he whispers, attempting to wrap his arms around my waist, I take a deep breath preparing myself, because I know I cannot let that happen... I would never escape his grip.

'Now' I scream in my head as I pull, and I pull hard on his hair forcing his neck to arch. As it does, I punches him in the throat as hard as I can. As soon as he steps back I bring up my knee, and with all of my strength I knee him in the groin. His groan fills the elevator as his hands grab at his crotch, and as he lolls forward I attempt to turn away but he makes a quick grab for me.

I know I'm only seconds away from the doors opening, so I just have to buy myself more time. I turn sharply and he curses loudly, as I scrape the heel of my shoe down his shin, before spearing it into his foot. He half yells, half screams as he falls backwards onto the floor.

As soon as the doors slide open, I react and kick off my shoes and run. I run straight into Luke's arms, and he realises instantly that I'm upset and on the verge of collapse. He swings me up safely into his arms and holding me tightly to his chest, he rushes me back to the safety of the car.

.

A/N HI ALL... A LOT OF YOU ARE WORRIED ABOUT THE DRAMA I HAVE PLANNED, WELL TO CLARIFY ONCE AGAIN, NO ONE WILL CHEAT AND NO ONE WILL DIE. AS YOU HAVE PROBABLY GUESSED WITH THIS STORY, I LIKE TO WRITE FROM CHRISTIAN'S POV, I FIND THAT SO EASY TO WRITE FOR SOME REASON, ESPECIALLY WHEN HE IS HURT AND BROKEN, SO THAT'S A CLUE TO HOW BAD THIS WILL GET. ;)

SO PLEASE STICK WITH THIS AND DON'T WORRY... BY MONDAY THEY WILL BE BACK IN EACH OTHERS ARMS... WERE THEY BELONG.

PLEASE REVIEW..;)


	52. 52 Seeing Is Believing

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx C

After a hectic morning of sorting out a million and one minor details, as well as sorting everything that's needed for the running of Grey House, we are finally on our way to the airfield. The stupid grin I haven't been able to shake all morning, still clings to my face, and the reason behind it makes me euphoric. Soon we will be miles away, just the two of us, and hopefully we will have an amazing weekend. I have so much planned, there is so much I want her to see and do, but just to be alone with Ana for two whole days, is enough of an incentive to have me grinning like an idiot.

Taylor catches my eye in the rear view mirror and steps on the gas, weaving expertly in and out of the traffic trying to make up lost time, we are running a little bit late. I can't believe how quick this day has gone, or that I got held up, but hopefully, Ana won't of had to wait for me for too long.

As we turn into the airfield, I see the Grey jet has already been fueld and towed into position. The crew are all on board, and I notice Steven and his copilot are seeing to all the external pre-flight checks. Good, we only have a small window of oppotunity to leave, before the winds hit. My brow furrows and I curse, as there is no sign of Ana's car. As Taylor parks the car I jump out, my eyes urgently scanning the airfield around us quickly,

"Have you heard from Sawyer Taylor?" I ask urgently as Taylor steps from the car, he shakes his head while scanning the area, and I'm suddenly flooded with anxiety, as a really uneasy feeling flows through me,

"No sir, I'll call him... They should be here by now" Taylor says evenly, but he also looks worried,

"I'll also call Ana" I mutter, pulling out my phone and pressing 'one' on speed dial. Her phone rings continuously in my ear, and I don't know how, but I know that something is wrong.

"No answer Sir" Taylor informs me with a furrowed brow as he closes his phone,

"Same with Ana... Fuck" I curse, "Keep trying to reach them Taylor, and make sure they haven't been involved in an accident" Taylor nods opening his phone once again,

"They better be okay" I mumble, as I open my phone and call Gia. "Hello Miss Matteo, Is Ana still with you... You cancelled... Hell" I close my phone without a goodbye. "Anything Taylor" I ask starting to pace about,

"No Sir, still just ringing out, but there's no accident reports" Taylor mutters, in a low tone that holds annoyance. As I storm about feeling my apprehension turn to fear, I feel my fingers run through my hair,

"According to Gia their meeting never happened... So they might still be at home, Try Eascal" I request desperately. They will be caught up at home, or on their way, maybe stuck in traffic. There will be a simple explanation for their absence... There has to be...

"Sir... Gail hasn't seen them since 12.30... When they left for Ana's meeting" Taylor's voice is void of emotion, but like me he knows something isn't right. Where the fuck are they?.

My eyes lock on to the entrance of the airfield, willing for her vehicle to turn in, I scan every vehicle I can see, just making sure I haven't overlooked it. I notice my breathing is getting heavier and my fists are involuntarily clenching. She is with Luke and they are missing. My brain starts to stir.

No... Don't go there Grey.

"Sir, everything will be fine, Sawyer is more than capable" Taylor's voice breaks my inner worry, which only worries me more, if he thinks something isn't right... Then something must be wrong,

"Track them" I demand shaking my head clear. Taylor immediately calls Welch.

What the fuck... I hope nothing has happened to them, but... Why didn't she tell me her meeting with Gia was cancelled? Did she know before I spoke to her about her cancelation? Where has she been all afternoon? Why did she still go out? Was it so she could be with Luke?...

No... I can't even think like that, I have no reason to be jealous or doubt her, she loves me... Has told me... Proven it to me time and time again... I believe her. Shame floods through me for thinking the worst again... Fuck... Jealousy is such a vile emotion.

As I inwardly tare myself apart with my irrational fears, my phone suddenly beeps, "Ana" I breathe hopefully, but my brow furrows as I open the email from the unknown caller.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Gia

As Ana rushes from the hotel room, I can't help but chuckle, "Oh she doesn't look too happy" I mutter to myself and I can't contain my wide smile. As I watch Ana in the lift she looks more than a little uncomfortable, even more so when Sam enters behind her. "Oh... To have been a fly on the wall" I mutter with a giggle.

I know first hand how friendly Sam Clifton can get, but Ana has to realise that if she wants to get on... She needs to get it on. I laugh at my own joke and stare transfixed at the interaction between them in the lift. An astonished gasp leaves me as Ana puts Sam on his arse, "Well who'd of thought... She's tougher than she looks... Little Ana is more of a tiger than a kitten" I shake my head totally amazed.

I jump suddenly, as Ana's phone starts to ring from her bag on the desk beside me. Digging about in her bag, I find her phone but ignore the call from Christian. As the call ends I notice her phone isn't locked, and I chuckle to myself as I start to poke about, "Well these could be useful" I snigger as I copy down the security codes for Escala. Ana's phone starts to ring again, and I roll my eyes as I notice it's Christian once again, "God he's keen" I mumble.

A few minutes after Ana's third missed call, in as many minutes. My ring tone fills the room, I snigger then compose myself before I accept the call... Oh lets have some fun.

"Afternoon Mr Grey... Sorry I haven't seen Ana, I had to cancel our meeting, so I don't know where she is, shall I pass on a..." oh such bad manners, I mutter with a frown as he hangs up on me.

I don't know why he thinks he can get away with being so rude to me. I chuckle as an idea springs to mind, oh that man needs taking down a peg or two. I activate the CCTV controls on Sam's computer and rewind the lift footage. "Now let's have some fun" I giggle mischievously.

I open an email on Sam's computer and attach images from the CCTV footage to it, Yes this will work. I save an image of Ana entering the hotel, then going into the hotel room. I add a snapshot of Sam entering the same room, then one of them both in the lift facing each other. The next little gem is of them kissing, or rather him kissing her, but from the angle of the camera, she looks just as keen and yes... The million dollar shot, is the one with Ana's hand running through Sam's hair, yes it all looks very cosy.

Oh what a story these pictures tell... I laugh loudly as I key in Christian's email address, "Let's see how you handle a little competition Christian Grey... I hope it breaks you" and I smile as I send the email to Christian's mobile,

I lean back in the comfy office chair, feeling pretty pleased with myself. Let's see just how much these two really mean to each other... Let's see how easy it is to pull them apart... Not that I'm bitter or anything... But hey... If I can't have him... Then she sure as hell can't.

I hope they crumble, I hope he kicks her to the kerb, because then... Maybe I could swoop in... To console him... Comfort him... Please him... Make him happy... Make him mine...

Oh... That's a nice thought.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx C

As I open the email, my world stops.

Everything I had ever hoped for, yearned for, dreamed of... Gone in an instant.

As my heart breaks, my face falls and I let out the most unrecognisable sounding groan. I stumble slightly, then lean against the car as my knees give out beneath me. As I stare transfixed at the pictures of Ana with another man, my heart pounds, my skin crawls, my breathing becomes heavy and laboured, but above all else... I feel physically sick.

"Sir?" Taylors ask his voice full of concern and confusion. He steps towards me but I quickly step back,

"Have you tracked them? Where is Ana?" I growl. Taylor pulls out his phone and activates the tracker,

"The vehicle appears to be just leaving the Clifton hotel Sir, ETA less than ten minutes... We have time Sir, don't worry" Taylor informs and cajoles, I turn on my heel and head for the plane,

"We board now" I order, striding towards the jet steps. I can't face her... I Can't talk to her... I can't be near her... Not after this.

My phone rings as we board the plane, but I don't even glance at it. "Prepare to take off immediately Stephen" I snap angrily, dismissing his greeting. His face shows shock and hesitation,

"Sir... Not all passengers are accounted for" he says sharing a confused look with Taylor,

"Yes there are... Take off now" I order through gritted teeth, they both just stand in front of me looking totally bewildered, and I don't blame them. This was the highlight of my week, Taylor knows how much planning has gone into this, what this trip means to me, what I hoped to accomplish from this time in New York with Ana... But now... Nothing.

"Sir... What about Miss Steele?" Taylor asks, his voice is cautious but concerned, oh Taylor don't, I mentally plead as my body sags. I can't face her, can't be near her, I also can't tell him. I just glare at him not trusting myself to speak, not wanting to share the shame... That I fell for a harlot.

First Luke... Now this... She has lied to me and blindsided me, with a wonderful soul wrenching blow job... God I'm such a Fucking dick.

"I need to bring on the luggage Sir" Taylor says apologetically,

"Then what the fuck are you still standing there for" I scream, as I feel apprehension and fear rush through me. We need to go, I need to put as much distance between myself and her... As soon as possible. I can't see her... I can't.

My eyes glare around the cabin, conveying to everyone to fuck off. Stephen hurries off to the cockpit, as the crew just as eagerly disappear. I take my seat, falling into it heavily, I rest my elbows on my knees and allow my head to fall into my hands. And I concentrate on just trying to breathe.

As my phone rings I glance down at it, and instantly wish I hadn't. Ana's beautiful face stares back at me, and my heart constricts painfully. As my thumb hovers over the accept button, I'm torn. I crave to hear her voice... Need to... But I can't hear her lies.

To know what her mouth was doing just moments ago... Sickens me... enrages me... But like the fool I am I cave, beccause I need to hear her voice... Just one more time.

As I open my phone one solitary word leaves me, as my defences securely come down.

"Grey"

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Luke

As Ana trembles and gasps for breath in my arms, I run to the underground car park. Opening the car door, I place Ana safely in the back, and climb in beside her, "Ana what the hell has happened?... Talk to me" I ask urgently. Ana just slowly shakes her head at me, taking deep calming breaths,

"Luke we don't have time" she mumbles, she looks stunned and shaken, something bad has definitely happened,

"Ana, I need to know" I demand, fuck... Talk to me woman, I curse,

"Answer your phone" she whispers, as the sound of it ringing fills the car, fuck the phone,

"No Ana, you're more important" I state, even though I know who it is and Taylor will fucking flip. We should be at the airfield by now, so they're probably panicking... A bit like myself,

"Ana please, you have to tell me what's happened to you, I can see clearly that you're upset, I know that something has distressed you... Please Ana, talk to me" I try an urge, even softening my desperate tone, but to no avail... Stuborn woman,

"Luke please... Just get me out of here, we can deal with this later... Please Luke now" Ana's soft voice begs,

"Fine" I snap, "But as soon as we get to the airfield, you have to tell Mr Grey what's happened to you" I demand, after yesterday's fiasco he deserves to know,

"Fine" she mimics in the same sharp tone "Just let's go" she pleads.

As I move to leave the car I notice she is still very pale and trembling. I scan her from head to toe looking for obvious injuries, but see nothing... Thank fuck. Then my brow furrows deeply,

"Ana where are your shoes?" I ask urgently,

"In the elevator" she mumbles automatically, now lost in deep thought,

"Why?" I ask pointedly,

"Doesn't matter" she sits up in her seat, putting on her seat belt now looking more composed "Luke please, just go... We don't have time for this... We can deal with everything later... We're running so late... Christian will be waiting" her tone is more controlled, her worry for Grey, now over taking her own distress,

Fuck... Shit Grey... Yes, we really do need to move, she's right, we can deal with this once she is safely on the plane. I turn in my seat to exit the car, when Ana suddenly curses,

"Shit... My bag, my phone... everything... is still in the manager's office" Ana's voice trails off and she suddenly pales further, if that's even possible, but I can tell instantly she is freaked out by the thought of going back in there, what the fuck is going on?

"Stay here... I will retrieve your things" I state authoritatively, as I leave and lock her safely in the car.

I storm back through the hotel with determination and as I pass the lift, a young couple exit, chuckling holding Ana's shoes. "Thank you" I snap, as I march past them and snatch the shoes from them, leaving them looking stunned and amused after me.

I head urgently to the manager's office as quickly as I can but pause, when I see the door is open slightly. I stand silently in the doorway, just watching the Matteo woman chuckling as she watches the CCTV. I notice she has Ana's phone in her hand. I push open the door without knocking and her face freezes, but just for a split second, then her demeanour changes and she feigns innocence,

"Hi Sawyer, could you give Ana her things, she has left her bags and phone, all her designs, she seems to have left in rather a hurry" she smile falsely up at me, as I just glare,

"What happened?" I snap, her eyes widen as she feigns shock,

"I have no idea... Ana went upstairs and I haven't seen her since... She will be late for her flight, you had better get going... Tell her to call me" she sneers, as I collect together Ana's belongings,

Knowing I haven't got time to deal, with whatever the fuck this is right now, I turn and storm away "Bitch" I mutter, knowing damn well she heard me.

As I get back to Ana she seems more like her old self, and grabs her phone from me urgently, before I'm even back in the driving seat she has already dialed Grey. Her soft controlled voice fills the car.

"Christian".

.

A/N HI ALL... I'M SORRY IF A FEW OF YOU DON'T LIKE THE WAY THIS STORY HAS GONE, BUT THIS IS HOW IT CAME TO ME, I WROTE THE OUT LINES FOR THESE CHAPTERS WEEKS AGO, AND DON'T WANT TO CHANGE HOW THIS STORY PANS OUT.

I KNOW IT MAY HURT... BUT I LOVE TO PULL THEM APART, SO I CAN BRING THEM BACK TOGETHER, AND AS I HAVE ALWAYS SAID, THEY WILL BE TOGETHER... AS IF ANYTHING COULD KEEP THESE TWO APART. ;)

ON A GOOD NOTE, BECAUSE MOST OF THE NEXT FEW CHAPTERS ARE PETTY MUCH FINISHED, I WILL BE POSTING TWICE A WEEK. SO YOUR STRESS WILL BE OVER QUICKLY.

THANK YOU FOR STICKING WITH THIS, AND IF IT HELPS, ANA WILL BE FINE THROUGH ALL OF THIS, IT'S CHRISTIAN WHO SUFFERS :( AND I'M SORRY... BUT I LOVE A WALLOWING CHRISTIAN. XX


	53. 53 Heart Breaking Departures

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx C

As I answer my phone I stare into nothing, I'm lost in the darkness of my own head, tormented and alone.

"Grey" I mutter, fighting to keep back the anger... The rage... The hurt... The humiliation.

"Christian" her soft voice breaths nervously into my ear, my eyes close slowly to intensify every sound that she makes, "I'm sorry to be running so late... I will be with you any second" her quiet voice rushes, she sounds a little shaken, but living a lie must be hard,

"Where have you been Anastasia?" My monotone voice asks, only trusting myself to speak one controlled question. I hear her breathing hitch,

"My meeting with Gia ran late, I'm sorry" she answers quietly, but I hear the worried undercurrent in her voice and my heart falls painfully.

She's lied to me...

"How did it go?" I ask sounding defeated, my heart is knotted and I feel so confused, so angry... Because truthfully... I just want to rant, rave then probably... Sob,

"Fine" she answers as her voice wavers, I feel and hear her lie extend in that one simple word, and my head falls heavily once again into my hands, as I know I've lost her.

"I can't talk to you now Anastasia... I need to..." I stop speaking, I can't think clearly, I have so much running through my head, that I can't make sense of anything anymore, but I know for sure... That I can't listen to any more of her lies.

To know she is blatantly lying to me has my heart pounding, but no matter how hard or fast it seems to beat... I just feel dead inside.

"I have to go Ana" I barely whisper, my voice sounds cold, hard... Dead. Just like me.

"Christian what's the matter?" I hear her desperate plea, but quickly close my phone.

I can't think... I'm shocked... Stunned... Angry... Hurt... Confused... I take deep even breaths, trying to rationalise my thoughts and feeling... But I can't.

Who is he? Is suddenly running around and around in my tormented head, and I want to kill him, rip him to bits, beat him so badly that his own mother wouldn't recognise him. I'm going to... No I'm not... I'm not going to do anything... I'm going to hide like a fucking pussy. I can't face it... Can't deal with it... I truly can't see her.

We need to leave... If she is on her way... Then we only have a limited amount of time before she gets here. As Taylor enters the plane my voice booms,

"Get this fucking thing in the air now... Or you're all fuckin fired" I growl and the entire cabin vibrates with the sound of my voice, then thankfully it is filled with the hum of the engines. Taylor looks more than shocked as he quickly secures the door.

I sit heavily in my seat, as the attendants scurry about getting everything ready for take off. As I feel the jet start moving I breathe a little easier, thankful of the fact that I won't see her. Taylor quickly sits down opposite me, his eyes not leaving my face. His face is expressionless but I can tell from his eyes, that his brain is running wild. I close my eyes and pay him no attention.

Until his phone rings, then my eyes shoot open and glare into his, "Ignore it" I snap, but he looks down and answers his phone anyway,

"Sorry Sir... It's Gail, she worries when we fly... I will be brief" he states, as he stands and turns away from me,

"Hi baby" I hear him mutter, and my chest tightens painfully at his endearment... Baby... Fuck... I feel her... I need her.. But I will not be taken for a fool...

I have to go... Have to leave her... No matter how much it hurts.

"Yes Gail we're taking off now" I hear Taylor say, I instantly feel relieved and breathe, realising fully that we can't be caught.

Gail's obvious worry is touching, but I'm numb, I don't know what to think, what to feel. I just want to run, hide, lick my wounds... I want to do what I do best... I want to wallow.

Taylor returns back to his seat, and fastens himself in as the jet speed increases. "I will baby" he breathes into the phone "I will be in touch as soon as we land... Love you Gail" he says softly his voice carrying meaning. I groan, as I feel a gut wrenching twist internally.

Love... Fuck love...

I lay back in my seat as the plane finally leaves the ground, along with my shattered and broken heart.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A

After Christian hangs up on me, I stare blindly at my phone, all fear of my encounter with Sam Clifton now forgotten, something is wrong with Christian... Something has happened to him...

I feel stunned, fearful, and very apprehensive suddenly, as Christian seemed so angry, so distant, but why?

"Drive faster Sawyer, something is wrong with Christian" I gush desperately, as Luke meets my eye in the mirror, "We're so late, we can't miss this flight" he nods as he puts his foot down "I need to call Taylor" I mutter more to myself, he must know what's wrong.

"Taylor, it's Ana" I gush, as he answers on the second ring,

"Hi baby" he responds, and I realise instantly that Christian must be with him, and something is very wrong,

"Taylor what's happened? What's wrong with Christian? Is he hurt? We will be with you any minute, he hung up on me... Why?" I pour out all my worries,

"Yes Gail, where taking off now" Taylor mutters conveying their status,

"Shit... Is he leaving without me Taylor?... Why?" I sob into my phone, I feel my tears welling up, spilling over, as my emotional state hits a new high. Taylor remains quiet, "Find out what's wrong Taylor please" I beg as I roll in my seat, despite my seatbelt. Sawyer swings the car sharply onto the airfield and drives full speed over to the Grey hanger,

"I will baby... I will be in touch as soon as we land... Love you Gail" Taylor's voice holds sympathy and determination. I know he will help me.

"Taylor is he...?" I begin to ask, but the line goes dead as he hangs up on me, and I soon see why, as I glance to my left and see Christian's jet wheels leave the ground.

As the car screeches to a halt, I jump out and turn to look helplessly towards the sky, "We're too late... He's gone" I mumble, as my gut wrenches my body sags, and the tears do more than fall. I feel myself sway uncontrollably, and if Luke hadn't of reached out for me at that precise moment, I would now be on the ground.

The surge of pain that hits me is overwhelming, the hurt, the uncertainty, is totally consuming and I just can't breath. Luke pulls me into him, as my legs give out from beneath me,

"Why did he leave me?" I sob into Luke's chest,

"I don't know Ana" Luke whispers, holding my head softly.

I know Luke's eyes are trained on the sky, I can feel his anger and confusion, his heart is pounding against me. I feel him pull out his phone and make a call, but he gets no response. I do the same, but Christian's phone is now also switched off. I can feel myself falling apart, all the stress of today hits me all at once, and my head falls back onto Luke's chest. He just holds me tightly, letting me sob... And I let it all out.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx C

As the jet safely leaves the ground, my eyes glance to the side of the runway and there she is again, wrapped in another man's arms, blatant for all to see this time. She is reveling in my departure... They don't even have the decency to wait until I'm out of sight. I pull my eyes away from them, as I feel the pain and doubt take over.

Did they lie to me yesterday too? After what I have seen today... How can I ever trust her again? My head falls into my hands as my body doubles over. Fuck it hurts... It's excruciating. My face twists as my body physically, painfully contorts.

"Sir?" Taylor questions, obviously concerned,

I close my eyes, lean back into my seat and ignore him. I can't talk, can't speak, can't think... Can't confess.

After and hour or so of swimming, no... Drowning in the dark despair in my own head, I head to the rear cabin. As I close the door behind me, I head for the bed and pull off the sheet, scattering the red rose petals all over the floor, "So much for us joining the mile high club" I mutter bitterly,

I take off my jacket and toss it onto a nearby chair, I kick off my shoes and flop onto the bed. Placing my hands under my head, I just stare blindly at the ceiling.

I can't believe what a total and utter fucking fool I've been.

I have spent all day making sure that everything was ordered, in place, arranged, making everything perfect for her... And for what?... Just to have it thrown back in my face. Today while I thought of nothing but her... She was fucking in a hotel. While I plotted and planned to make things perfect... She scammed and schemed to get laid.

All the hurt and anger that flowed through me an hour ago, has subsided now, it's been replaced by a slow controlled calm rage, the deadly kind. The kind that bubbles away inside of you, until you feel like you're about to explode. I'm about an hour away from that... I think. Hence the need to lie down.

My only comfort is in knowing that she will never know, how much of a fool I have been... How deeply she took me in... How close I nearly came... To giving her everything.

I close my eyes and breath deeply, in through my nose and out through my mouth, trying desperately to keep calm, but who the fuck am I trying to kid... I'm absolutely fucking livid.

I jump off the bed before I even realise, and scatter the contents of the bedside cabinet all over the floor. I pull wildly at the remaining bed sheets and turn over the mattress, so it now rests against the opposite wall. I pick up a chair and smash it into the elegant fitted cupboards, which I wildly pull open and ransack, cursing and growling the whole time.

The arrangement of flowers I selected for Ana, because I knew they were her favourites, is now all over the floor, being squashed, flattened, destroyed by my bare feet... Just like me. I look down at the fragile petals and recall Ana telling me how much she liked them, the day we went around the Pike Market, and my heart painfully lurches. I curse loudly and I'm sure I growl, as I hear a loud bang on the door,

"Fuck off Taylor" I curse, my eyes scanning the destruction of the room,

"Sir, will you please calm down" he shouts, sounding more than a little pissed off,

"Taylor fuc..." I snap, but his livid voice interrupts me,

"Sir, we can't repair a hole at forty thousand... Fucking feet" Taylor snarls through the door,

"Fine, I will calm down... Now fuck off" I shout back in the same tone.

My eyes widen, as I notice the lone bottle of jack rolling along the floor, still intact amidst the total destruction of the cabin. I hop over the broken chair, dodge the broken glass, toss the mattress back on the bed and make a grab for the bottle.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Luke

As Ana sobs into my chest I burn. What the fuck just happened? What the fuck is going on? Something definitely went down in that Hotel, that Gia bitch knew more than she was letting on... And why the fuck did Ana leave her shoes in the elevator? Never mind forgetting her phone and bag. I knew I should have gone with her instead of waiting in reception.

My eyes squint, as I try to hone in on the tiny obscure dot, that is now the Grey jet. What the fuck spooked them? Grey is besotted with this girl... Why the fuck did he run out on her?. I step back and cup Ana's distraught tear sodden face, I pull out a handkerchief and hand it to her.

"Take me home Luke" Ana sobs looking up at me with pooling eyes. I nod and with my arm over her shoulder, I lead her back to the car. Once she is buckled in safe and sound I head out, driving at a more leisurely speed, now the panic of being late is over. Surely Grey wouldn't have left because we were late? He's not that fuckin controlling surely to god. This fuckin not knowing is head wrecking, there gonna be in the air for a good five hours or so now, until then, I won't know fuck all.

"Ana will Miss Kavanagh be at home?" I ask quietly, not relishing the thought of leaving her on her own. I will be stationed next door but until she has company, I'm sticking close,

"I'm not sure, I know she was busy today... I will call her later", she mumbles into my now sodden hanky,

I activate the hands free and call Kate, "Miss Kavanagh... It's Luke, are you able to come home right away?" I ask in a calm low voice,

"Why? What's up?" she chirps in my ear,

"Ana needs you" I tell her simply,

"Why? She should be in the air by now" Kate's confused tone asks,

"The flight left without her... So as you can guess, Ana is pretty upset... Hence why I don't want her to be alone," I keep my voice low but I don't think Ana is listening to me anyway, she just seems to be staring blindly out of the window.

"I'm on my way... What the fuck happened Luke?" she asks sounding bewildered,

"Fucked if I know Miss Kavanagh"

A/N

DON'T HATE ME ;)

I WILL POST AGAIN IN A FEW DAYS I PROMISE...


	54. 54 Confessions And Wise Words

A/N

I CAN NOT BELIEVE THE RESPONSE TO THE LAST CHAPTER... WOW... YOU LOT REALLY HAVE TAKEN THIS STORY TO HEART HAVEN'T YOU?

I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR IT... THANK YOU.

AND TO APPEASE ALL YOUR STRESS FROM LAST NIGHT, HERE IS ANOTHER CHAPTER, BUT BEWARNED THERE ARE AT LEAST FOUR MORE CHAPTERS BEFORE THEY ARE BACK TOGETHER...

SO ALOT OF WALLOWING :))

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx C

I leave the jet in a trance, suffer the tormenting drive through the chaos that is yellow cab city to my apartment, and nearly knock out the concierge when he greets me eagerly, and attempts to hand me an envelope. The envelope containing all the information and tickets, for all the things I wanted to do with Ana during our stay.

I stride into my apartment ignoring Mrs Hanley and storm straight into the bedroom, where I strip off my clothes and step into the shower. As my head rests on the still cold tile, I yearn for it to calm me. I focus on the cold slab of marble pressed on my brow, but it doesn't help... My fucking head is still battered.

I knew I shouldn't of let my guard down... Shouldn't have let her in... But I didn't have a choice.

I knew it would hurt, knew it would be a waste of time... But I couldn't deny her.

These past few weeks have been the best of my life, they had meaning and purpose... I felt that I had changed... Felt like I finally belonged... Felt loved for the first time ever... My family and I are so much closer... But where has it got me? No where... That's where... I've been played like a fucking fiddle.

Stepping out of the shower, I open the luggage that Taylor has left on the bed, he has obviously advised Mrs Hanley not to unpack or bother me, a fact of which I'm grateful for. Digging out what I need, I quickly get dressed.

I curse loudly as I notice the vase of Ana's favourite flowers, sitting next to the small gift box on the bedside table. I storm over, pick up the vase and throw it across the room, I tear open the box and just stare down at the Golden rope curtain tie backs, hanging loosely in my hand.

I sit down on the bed, the new bed, the new four poster bed, that I thought we could once again have some fun with. I hoped we could re-enact our Fairmount experiences here... But no, she chose to screw around and play me. Well fuck that... No one plays me. I toss the tie backs to the far side of the room, and head for the drinks cabinet. I need to curb this sea saw in my head. I need to stop thinking.

As I open the bottle of faithful jack, I swig from the bottle not even bothering with a glass. I slump back onto the bed feeling deflated. I'm finding it so hard to keep up this anger... When all I want do is weep. Which only pisses me off more... How can I be so weak? But I can't help it... She... She was so warn... So soft... So safe... So mine.

I take a huge swig from the bottle, waiting for the pain to subside... But it doesn't.

I need her... My body needs her... No... My soul needs her... The man that she made me... Needs her. Oh fuck this... This is getting me nowhere. I stand angrily, take another large swig from the bottle and head out for the tedious hell, that this business dinner will no doubt be... Now that I'm on my own.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx T

As soon as Grey is out of the way, I call Ana, she answers her phone on the first ring. She sounds so hurt, her voice is more than desperate,

"Taylor, what happened? Why did you leave me?" her voice pleads, I hear traces of the tears that still lingering in her sad voice,

"I don't know Ana... Stubborn bastard won't speak to me, he hasn't said a word since we left you" I tell her truthfully, I can't help but notice her quiet involuntary sob.

What the fuck is going on between these two? I feel for them both, her more so, as I'm still fucking pissed with him, he could have killed us all with his fucking little stunt on the plane... Stupid dick,

"Where is he Taylor?" she asks, sounding more than worried,

"He's in the shower getting ready for his business dinner" I pause, and take a frustrated breath, "Look Ana, I don't know what the hell has gone on... But he's like a volcano ready to blow, do you have any idea what could have upset him" I roll my eyes, upset my arse, he fucking destroyed, I have never seen him like this before.

"No" Ana whispers,

"When did you last speak to him?" I ask, she must have said something, there had to be some sort of trigger,

"He called me... Before my meeting with Gia..." I hear her voice falter and she takes a deep breath before continuing, "He wished me luck, told me not to be late, then... Then I called him, as we left the hotel... To tell him I was running late... And well he was just so cold... So... And he left me" her voice drifts as the sobs take over, tears are never a good thing. My voice tries to cajole,

"Shush Ana you have to be strong... Ana Leave it with me, I will find out what has got into him... Can I speak to Luke?" I hear Ana sniff as my mind races, I still know nothing,

"Sure" she mumbles,

"Taylor" Luke's clipped tone sounds in my ear,

"What happened today Luke?" I demand without pleasantries, "Why were you late?"

"Not sure T, but something sure did, Ana was really upset as we left the hotel and it wasn't just because we were running late" I notice his tone, like mine, holds annoyance.

This being kept in the dark is a bitch,

"So you did go to the hotel then?" I ask as my mind starts to tick over,

"Yes of course we did" Luke state adamantly, "Why?" He asks, now sounding perplexed,

"Gia told Grey, that their meeting never happened..." Luke's astounded voice cuts me off.

"What... Lying bitch... Well it did Jason, I was with Ana the whole time... Well apart from say, ten minutes tops, while she went upstairs to check out one of the rooms... After that she was totally skittish, an in a right mess... She even forgot her shoes..." now it's my turn,

"What?... Why?"

"She hasn't said yet... I asked, but she was more worried about Grey, and since leaving the airfield, I can't get no fucking sense out of her... She's gutted Taylor, the kids in bits, but I will find out what the hell went on and let you know asap" his voice hold conviction, which is what fuels him, so I know while we're away, she's in safe hands,

"Do that, because Grey's gonna blow... Because he's in exactly the same state" I sigh heavily, not relishing how fucked up the next two days are gonna be, Grey on a downer is no picnic,

"Then why in the hell did you guys leave without her?" Luke demands,

"Fuck knows Luke, all I know is... He got a message, his face fell, and then we couldn't get in the air quick enough" my eyebrows knit, what the hell has got into him? I need to check out his phone, "He hasn't said a word, but he's as mad as hell, he trashed the plane" I mumble bitterly, feeling all my anger creep back in,

"Fuck" Luke mutters,

"Tell me about it" I snap, "He was acting like a right dick, no thought to anyone else... Oh fuck it... Look, sort your end out Luke, I need to find out what's bugging Grey" I notice the showers now off, so I gotta go,

"Will do Jason, keep in touch"

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx L

As I walk into the lounge of Ana's apartment, Ana is wrapped in Kate's arms, her friend comforting her as best she can, "Ana what happened at the hotel today?" I demand, Kate catches my eyes over Ana's shoulder, her eyes brows lift curiously,

Ana flushes, lifts her head from Kate's shoulder just enough to shake it, and mumbles "Nothing... It's not important now... We need to know what happened to Christian, he seems so broken... So sad...So..." her quiet voice ceases as her sobs take hold, I curse inwardly. With all these tears, I ain't gonna get any sense out of her,

"I need to pop out for a while Ana, can I get you anything?" I ask, Ana shakes her head, so I turn to head out. Kate shouts after me,

"Luke" I turn expectantly, "We need ice cream and chocolate" Kate requests quietly, I feel the pull of a small smile as I head out of the apartment.

Jumping into the car I head out to Escala. I need to speak to Welch, get him to dig about abit. I need to find out all I can on this Matteo witch, and it wouldn't hurt to know a little more about this Sam Clifton guy. Fuck... I should have stayed with Ana when she went upstairs... Something happened to her today and if I don't find out what... And sort it... Then Grey will have my balls.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A

As I curl up into a small ball on the sofa, I nurse a cup of sweet tea. Kate is sitting at my feet, she isn't saying much, just hugging, when the sea of despair breaks its banks. I cherish her company and it is comforting, but it only reminds me of how good things were last night... How good things still where this morning. What could cause such a drastic change in such a short amount of time? I feel my chest tighten painfully as the feeling of despair grips me.

"He left me Kate... Why?" I mumble looking up at her through tear filled eyes, even blinded, I see she slowly shakes her head, "I promised to spend every night with him... He wanted nothing more... So why did he go?" I ask for the tenth time. Kate shakes her head still none the wiser.

"He said he has so many plans for us this weekend, yet he is alone... Why did he go without me" I mumble in between sobs,,

"I don't know baby" Kate soothes "But he loves you Ana" Kate whispers, while running her hand up my arm, her words cause my heart to break,

"How can you think that?... He left me... Wouldn't speak to me, he was so cold on the phone Kate... Dead even, I have never heard him like that before I..." the tears pour down my face with all this pain and confusion,

"I know he loves you, he had a great weekend planned for you" Kate cajoles in a soft voice,

"But he didn't want me with him" I mumble in between sobs, "He could have waited, we missed him by seconds, he didn't..."

"He wants you always Ana, he is terrified of losing you" Kate says adamantly, interrupting me,

"I don't believe you... He left me" I sob into my hands, sounding like a five year old,

"He wants to marry you Ana" Kate whispers, leaning in to rub my shoulder, I feel my body sag against her hand, exhaustion will soon take over,

"Don't start that again, please Kate" I whisper desperately, I can't hear all her talk about Vegas again, that time has passed... I know it, I feel it.

"Ana... I have a confession to make" Kate's hand takes mine, I wipe my sleeve across my eyes mopping up my tears, then look up at her, "Christian and I have been meeting and chatting a lot this past week" Kate mutters softly,

"What? Why?" I ask blowing my nose and turning on the sofa towards her,

"Christian wanted to surprise you and needed my help..." I interrupt with a frown,

"What surprise?"

"He wants to marry you Ana" I feel my eyes widen with her smile, "He asked me for help when I interviewed him... So I have been helping him to arrange everything" she smiles sheepishly, and I almost giggle, as that's so a new look for Kate.

"What?" I repeat, just staring at her, and I'm sure my mouth is hanging open. Did she just say what I think she said?

"Ana... All week Christian has been busy, he has arranged everything, you were supposed to have a wonderful weekend in New York, then he was going to propose to you on the top of The Empire State Building" I hear a small gasp leave me as Kate just beams at me, "I told him... How you love the movie 'Sleepless in Seattle', and how you always cry at the end" she teases, I can't help my stunned giggle,

"Really Kate?" she nods her smile widening sympathetically. My mind starts racing, all the digs... All the... Oh Elliot last night was...

"After your trip," Kate's voice draws my mind back to her, "You were supposed to fly straight to Vegas instead of here, Christian and I had planned everything, the wedding, the reception, the hotel with loads the extras" Kate chuckles shaking her head, "He has hired jets to bring in your Mom, Dad..."

"My Dad?" I question wide eyed, "He knows about this?" Kate just nods with a smirk, "Wh..." I mumble,

"Your dad... well, he was a bit worried of course, but he is okay with it all now, I have spoken to him and Christian has even Skyped him a few times... They seem to have bonded over fishing" Kate giggles rolling her eyes, and I'm stunned, Kate's amused voice continues, "Christian's family are all set to fly out, as well as a few friends," Kate laughs suddenly, "Mia is already there getting a feel for the place, as she puts it. Ethan and Jose are flying in..." Kate finally takes in my stunned demeanour and squeezes my hand, causing my eyes to refocus, "Ana we have planned it all... He wanted to take you straight to the chapel after landing, with a little detour for changing obviously" I giggle automatically along with her, still too gobsmacked to let all of this sink in. He wants to marry me...

"He is so scared of losing you Ana, he wants you, loves you, needs you... And I believe him... And I know you love him... So I wanted to make you both happy... I was supposed to finalise and okay everything this weekend... While you two were out of the way..." she sighs heavily, and my despondency matches hers, then I recall all the inquisitions and teasing,

"All your questions" I mumble, my head starting to spin again, confusion, excitement, disappointment, all flood me, swirling about,

"My last final confirmation, I needed to make sure you loved him enough and Ray... Well Ray wouldn't even hear about all of this, until I convinced him you loved him and that Christian deserved to marry you" Kate's eyes soften and hold mine, "I saw you both this morning, he loves you Ana... You're made for each other... So Ana... All of this will work its self out" My Minds ticks over,

"Have you spoken to him since he left?" I ask hopefully, Kate's face falls as she slowly shakes her head,

"No, he won't answer any of my calls... Even Ell has tried to call him, he wanted to fly out to see him... But Taylor doesn't think that's a good idea, Christian's... Look Ana, Christian loves you, hold on to that, all this will..." I stop her dead,

"Then why did he go? Why did he leave me behind?" I ask desperately, as I feel my tear ducks welling up once again,

Kate shrugs with a confused frown,

"Does he still want to marry me Kate?" I whisper, Kate just sighs heavily, and as her voice carries around the room, her words chill me,

"I don't know baby".

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx C

As a waiter scurries past, I grab his elbow, "Another bottle" I request with a nod, indicating to the empty one in the ice bucket. He nods efficiently and continues to scurry away. I sigh heavily and slump back down in my seat. I close my eyes wishing I was anywhere else but here.

Sitting around this table is torture, in hindsight I should of cancelled. I forgot that with Ana accompanying me, I had made allowances for accompanying wives. So now I feel like an even bigger fool, sitting around this table with three happily married couples.

I drain off what's left in my glass and eagerly scan for the waiter. What the fuck is taking him so long? Is he pressing the grapes himself?. Emmerson tries to attract my attention, but I rudely ignore him. The banter is boring and tedious, I can't interact, I don't want to... I just want to get drunk.

I'm Snappy and restless, I just can't concentrate and this whole dinner has been unproductive.

But more than anything... Sitting around this table with these three women, is painful, tormentingly so. I'm missing Ana... And I can't escape her. Every time I raise my eyes she's here. All three women carry traits of her... Or maybe I'm just looking to closely, either way it's torture.

Carlson's wife, Is who I'm drawn to most, her large blue doe eyes remind me so much of Ana's, or rather how Ana's would look in thirty years time, and I hate myself for acknowledging the fact... That I still want to be looking into her eyes in thirty years time.

Emmerson's wife, has a strand of hair just like Ana's, well hers is grey, but it still constantly falls free and brushes her cheek, and I have to fight the impulse not to sweep it behind her ear.

But it's Bainbridge's wife, the quietest of the bunch, that reminds me of Ana the most. They both have that shy gentle nature, I can tell that Bainbridge's wife feels slightly out of place, and Ana would have known that. She would have eased her and befriended her, made her feel comfortable.

For those reasons alone, I tolerate these women and their husbands and remain in my seat. All three men are important figures in their fields, and without all of our collaborations, this deal will not go through, it's important, lucrative and worthy, but at this moment in time I don't give a fuck.

I want to leave... I need to go... I can't deal with this pretence any longer.

As the waiter arrives I grab the bottle eagerly and open it, swiftly refilling my glass. I offer the bottle around to a collection of "No"'s, shrug and take a slug. The three men and three women, all notice my agitation, and I suddenly feel stifled,

"I need air" I snap, rising from the table and heading to the nearest restroom.

As I sand at the sink, I splash water onto my face, then hear the door open behind me, I glance up and catch Bainbridge's eye in the mirror, I hide my groan in the towel as I dry my face.

"Grey, you're not yourself so go, we can rearrange this for a more convenient time" I lock eyes with the kind looking man and inwardly sigh, I nod minutely, grateful for the reprieve,

"Thank you" I mumble lifelessly, Bainbridge nods and smiles kindly,

"Christian, can I ask you what happened to your date?" My eyes harden instantly,

"No" I growl as Bainbridge takes a small instinctive step backwards. Shame washes through me as I humbly look up at the kind old man, "We... She..." my voice breaks as my head lolls,

"It's ok Christian, there is no need to explain, but go... Sort this out, the love of a good woman is near impossible to find, so when you do find it... You need to cling on to it" his soft words pain me, I thought I had love... Now I'm not so sure,

"I... I don't.." I mutter, Bainbridge rubs my shoulder, Christ I must look worse than I feel.

"We have met many times Christian, and I know you, the hard CEO you anyway, but after seeing the press coverage of you with your lady friend... Well I have now seen a different you... The man you are... Your true self." his hand is still rubbing comfortingly on my shoulder and I can't help but just stare at him, everything he is saying burns me, because I felt it and believed it too.

"Christian go... I've been married nigh on forty two years and love is hard... You have to work at it... Decide which battles are worth fighting and what you should let go... But you can't do that here, so go home sort it, it will all seem better after talking, we will meet again when it's more convenient" his wise words sink in and instantly fuel me, because I do need to sort this out. I nod firmly and take his hand and shake it firmly,

"Thank you" I tell him kindly,

"You seemed very happy Christian, no matter what you're going through at the moment cling on to that, it will see you through"

.

A/N

PLEASE DON'T HATE CHRISTIAN... HE IS HURTING SO MUCH RIGHT NOW... ;)

I RAN FROM WORK TO GET THIS OUT, BUT I DON'T THINK I WILL HAVE ANYMORE TIME BEFORE THE WEEKEND TO POST AGAIN...SORRY.


	55. 55 Melt Downs And Revelations

A/N

YOUR DESPERATE PLEAS DO PAY OFF YOU KNOW ;)

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx C

As we head back to my apartment, the drive is swift and silent. Taylor constantly tries to catch my eye in the mirror, but I'm not in the mood. My head is in turmoil once again, I have been thinking over what Bainbridge said, now my mind is all over the place. Initially what he said made sense, we were happy, I do love her... But In the cold light of day, can I overlook the fact that she is with another?...

Despite loving her more than anything, I know that I can't. This is one battle I can't let go.

Is this what happens in a normal relationship? When there are no rules, no guidelines, no limits... Is there also no monogamy? I have always been monogamous, I expect it... I need it with Ana.

Bainbridge was right about one thing though, I do need to talk to Ana... I need to find out what these pictures are, what this man means to her... But... I can't talk to her right now, I've had far too much alcohol, my mind is in a mess and... It would hurt to god damn much. What if I confront her, give her an ultimatum, and she chooses... Him?

It still feels so raw... I feel like I've been ripped apart... And I know that talking to her... Would be too much to bare. I don't think I can face this or deal with the pain, the pain that only losing her would cause.

As we leave the car and enter the elevator, I head straight for the back, I lean against the wall and close my eyes. "Sir" Taylors voice fills the small space.

"Not now Taylor" I mumble in a voice that isn't my own. I ignore his frustrated sigh, before he tries again,

"Sir, I really must insist that..." my groan and glare causes him to pause,

"No Taylor" I snap. Closing my eyes I ignoring him for the rest of the ride.

As we enter the apartment I head over to the kitchen, pull a chilled bottle of wine from the fridge and reach for a glass. I close my eyes and sigh heavily, as I notice Taylor is still hovering about. Foregoing the glass, I head out of the kitchen and into the bedroom out of his way.

As I slam the bedroom door behind me, I bottle out of calling Ana and open the bottle of wine quickly taking a good healthy swig. Placing the bottle on the floor near the bed, I then strip off my clothes and toss them onto a nearby chair. Grabbing sweats and a T from the bag still sitting on the bed, I pull them on then slump to the floor next to the bottle. I lean back into the side of the bed and gulp down a good third of the bottle quickly, eagerly waiting for its numbing effects to take hold... I need my head to stop swimming... My thoughts are torturing me.

I feel so confused, I feel like I have been ripped in two, I feel... I don't know what I feel.

Well that's not entirely true... There is one emotion, one feeling, I can pinpoint and identify... I feel lonely.

This time last night... I was part of something, I had Ana... She was fast asleep safe in my arms. I gulp at the bottle once again as I realise that now... Sleep will no longer come so easily.

I hate himself for feeling so weak... For being so reliant on her... For needing her so much... For wanting her so much... I wanted Ana to be my wife... I still do. I feel the tears well up in my eyes, but my anger and pride quickly chase them away.

How could I allow her to take hold of me so easily? To control me... but there was no control, it was love, I know it was. It was so far removed from anything I have ever had before... It had to be real... I want it to be.

Ana has one of the purest souls I know, I know she has... I felt it... My family feels it, as they all love her too... I love her. Thanks to her I have so much now, I have changed so much, I want so much because of her... But I can't live a lie.

She loves me I feel it, but those pictures prove otherwise and at the thought of them my heart aches. If I hadn't seen them with my own two eyes, I would never have believed them... Would never believe for one single second that Ana would cheat on me. I might be reacting like she would... But deep down... I know she wouldn't, couldn't, the same way I couldn't.

Or so I thought... Those photos change everything. They are not photo shopped or played with in any way, they're real, sad thing is, it doesn't even matter where they came from... Because it happened, they're real... Ana kissed someone else... Ana cheated on me.

What other explanation could there possibly be? They are together, touching each other, kissing each other. In what scenario is that common place, bar copulation?

But I can't believe it... I don't want to. The thought of Ana with another man is excruciating, unbearably so. It can't be true... It isn't true.

I know that the amount of alcohol I have consumed today is clouding my judgment, is making me think irrationally, but I suppose that is a side effect of not wanting to think at all, but the booze isn't helping to stop me thinking, so what the fuck am I doing? I swig from the bottle as my thoughts swirl.

I love her... I hate her... In a single thought.

Did Ana play me? Was I just another guy led around by his dick?

No... I felt her, I feel her... I miss her... I hate her... I love her...

She was so pure... So innocent... So mine... But she so loved sex... She was a horney little bunny. I chuckle drunkenly at the fond memory, then my mood plummets as my heart falls... Because I should have known.

I've drank that much that my thoughts are slurred... Can thought slur? Well mine fuckin can.

It hurts so much and I hate myself, for letting her in enough to hurt me this deeply. "Never again" I mutter swigging off the last of the wine. Never again will I allow anyone to get this close to me, to have this power over me... I thought she loved me... Need me... Wanted me.

I shuffle along the floor to the nearby chair, and grabbing my jacket I dig around in my pocket and pull out my phone. I scroll through it, looking at the photos Stone took of us both. My sigh is heavy and heart felt as I stare at Ana, she's smiling happily in my arms, she's beautiful. My eyes well up and I brush my hand across my eyes, wiping away the blatant sign of my heartbreak.

When did I lose her? What did I do... To send her into the arms of another man? Why wasn't I enough for her? What did he have That I didn't? My head falls into my hands and I push my palms into my eyes, trying desperately to keep my angry, hurt tears at bay.

I hate him for taking her from me, I will destroy him... Tear him apart with my bare fucking hands, grind him into the ground... I will do nothing, I couldn't hurt her like that, but why the fuck not? She has hurt me. But if she loves him... I feel myself lurch forward as the pain doubles me up. Does she love him?... I never thought of that. If she does love him, how long has she known him? A series of very unpleasant scenarios play in my head. But one stands out and hurts more than the others. What if he's her real boyfriend and they're in it together... To play me?

Hell... Booze isn't shifting the physical pain that I'm feeling, and my mind is more fucked now than it was before. God I hate booze. A long heavy cleansing sigh leaves me as my mind clears a little, and realisation daws. I loved her and lost her... I will use this weekend to greave.. To mourn what we had... To mourn what I've lost... To mourn what I will never find with anyone again.

"Sir" I hear Taylor and look up, only to find him standing in the open doorway. As my blurry eyes meet his he continues, "Sir... I could really do with speaking to you" he states sharply. I shuffle up on to my knees then stand, leaning onto the bed post to steady myself.

"Go Taylor please... You don't want to be in here with me right now... Even Bastile would struggle with me now... So fuck off or your fired" I chuckle as I head out of the bedroom, "Just call me Alan Sugar" I mutter with a chuckle, staggering across the living room towards the drinks cabinet, where I grab another bottle. I break the seal on the cap as I slump down heavily onto the piano stool.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx T

As Grey staggers across the room and grabs another bottle, I grab a chair. I pull it into the corner of the room and just sit off watching him, he's too fucking pissed to even notice I'm here, which is a good thing.

As he falls onto the piano stool, he starts mumbling to himself, while swigging heavily from the bottle. I watch as he places the burbon bottle on the top of the piano, then places his hands on the keys.

Oh fuck... It's gonna be a long night.

Watching Grey I can't help but shake my head, he's in a right mess. He will fuckin hate himself tomorrow though, he hates drink, hates drunks, so whatever has messed with his head must be serious, to cause this rare type of reaction in him. Where is the chest beating Alpha male?. I pause my musings to try and decipher his mumblings. So far I've worked out, he loves Ana, she loves him, but it's all lies... Well that tells me fuck all. Who Or what is a lie?

I pray inwardly as I hear his fingers becoming sluggish while playing, and I know that this won't last much longer. Oh just hurry the fuck up and pass out will you man, I feel like slitting my own wrists now, after listening to all this crap for the past two hours. Eventually, thank fuck, the tune trails off as his head lolls forward onto the top of the piano, and as I see his body sagging I know he's finally out.

After giving him ten minutes or so to settle, I head over. Shifting him sideways, I lean into him and toss him over my shoulder, trying to touch him as little as possible. I head for the bedroom as I hear a groan leave him, it's full of pure despair. His body stiffens against me, but I'm soon letting him drop onto the bed. He shifts and mumbles as his eyes half open, god he looks like crap,

"Why Taylor?... Why did she do it?" his slurred voice begs painfully,

"Do what sir?" I ask hoping for spillage. As I shift him into a better position on the bed, he rears up onto his elbows, and his eyes widen as he tries to focus on me.

"Ah nearly" he sneers wagging a finger at me. I hide me chuckle, oh the smart arse, but I smile despite being stumped,

"Sir don't fret... She loves you" I tell him truthfully, even knowing that some how Ana has caused him this pain, that she's broke him, I know she still loves him. I just wish I knew what the hell had gone on.

"Loves me hhfff... Me and every other fucker... With a lift in a dick" I frown as he chuckles "Lift in a dick... Dick in a lift" he mumbles still chuckling, what the hell is he on about? Where the hell did that come from?

"I thought she loved me I..." He lurches forward suddenly and throws up all over my shoes,

"Oh for fuck's sake" I curse under my breath, Grey looks up at me sheepishly,

"Sorry Tay.." me mumbles before he falls back on the bed and passes out cold. Turning him onto his side I prop a pillow behind him, and pull away all the sheets.

"Dirty fuck" I curse while kicking off my soggy shoes, my eyes widen, "Thank you" I mumble as I see and pick up his phone from the floor,

Grabbing his phone I start to scroll, and I soon find the catalyst for all of this. Oh fuck... No wonder his head is battered "Oh Ana, Ana, Ana" I shake my head feeling totally gutted.

As I scroll through the photos of Ana and whoever, in a very comprising position, it all becomes clear. No wonder his head is fucked. Oh Ana what have you done? Maybe she not all sweetness and light after all? Well she sure as hell fooled me. How could she do this to him? He loves her, for fucks sake he has changed his whole life because of her... How could she treat him like this. My thoughts trail off as my eyes take in the pictures fully, my brow crease as something's just not quite right.

I head out of the bedroom and grab Greys laptop, I quickly transfer the photos and take a closer look. Enlarging the photos I study them more closely, something just doesn't feel right about this, Ana doesn't look as cosy here as she does with Grey. And then I spot it, one of Ana's hands is in the guys hair... But the other one is tightly clenched.

Fuck... What the hell has she been doing? Ana needs to see these, only when I hear from Ana... Will I know what's really been going on. I don't think everything is as cut and dried as it appears. I forward the photos to Ana and Sawyer and just hope we can sort this before Grey wakes.

I finish up, switch everything off, then head back to the bedroom to check on Grey. I smile down at the poor sap sprawled out on the bed. He is totally fucked up by all of this, he hasn't got a clue how do deal with this... Poor sod. I do him a favour and change his screen saver to the prettiest picture of Ana, placing the phone in his palm, I head out of the room. Hopefully when he wakes it might cheer him up, and remind him of what he's got to fight for.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A

As I head across the kitchen for yet more tea, my phone sounds along with Luke's. We lock eyes, as we know it's Taylor and must be important. I grab my phone from the table and urgently open it. As I open the message from Taylor I fall to my knees with a gut wrenching sob. Luke stands abruptly from his stool and his eyes harden and turn to mine.

"Oh my God... Christian got these?" I gasp, feeling the pain in my gut twist tighter,

"Yes" Sawyer snaps with a curt nod, his face hardens to match his eyes as he just stares at me.

Kate heads over and takes my phone from my hand, I hear her gasp as her eyes take it all in, "Fuck Ana... What did you do?" my eyes flash to her's, and I feel myself cower slightly, she sounds so angry,

"No kate I..." I try and explain, but Kate is livid,

"How could you do this to Christian... After everything he has done for you... You cheat on him... Who the fuck is this?" she snarls, waving the phone in front of me, as if I need to look, that man's face will be ingrained in my memory forever. A shiver runs down my spine as I mutter his name,

"Sam Clifton" Luke gasps, and I quickly try and explain "This isn't how it looks" I look between the two of them, Kate's face still holds her anger but Luke's... Well I see disappointment more than anything else.

"He attacked me Kate... I promise" I splutter, hoping for her to calm,

"What?" Luke's angry growl echo's around the apartment. "This is what upset you in the hotel?" he snaps, I nod slowly,

"Luke you know theses pictures aren't true, they have been taken out of context... You saw me today after I left the elevator... I was a mess... I didn't even have my bag or shoes..." Luke interrupts, his voice still holds his annoyance but he seems to have calmed a little,

"Tell me what happened Ana... I saw how upset you were... Tell me everything" Luke's tone is conveying that he wants no messing and I feel my heartbeat pick up, as I slump down onto my knees further. Once I tell them, once I say the words... It will make all of this real... I will have to face the reality of the fact... That he assaulted me.

Christian's absence has been a welcome distraction, if not a painful one, from the thought of what could of happened to me today, and I don't want to think about it... Never mind talk about it. I'm still reluctant to talk but taking a deep breath I relive my ordeal, staring at my entwined hands in my lap the whole time,

"I went upstairs to finalise my design choices, and he followed me upstairs... He creeped me out, even before then, in his office he kept getting too close, was leering at me, making suggestive remarks" an unwelcome shiver runs throughout my body as I continue, "I got out of the room and into the elevator as quick as I could... But he followed me", I pause taking a deep breath as the images and feelings being to swim back into me.

"He grabbed me" I mutter, as I rub my wrist involuntarily, it's surprisingly still tender, "He tried to kiss me... He wanted to have some... Fun" my skin crawls at the memory of those words, I glance at Kate and her face holds fear, "I knew... I knew... that he wouldn't take no for an answer... He was strong and determined... So I had to play alone, I had too, in order to get back some control and get a good advantage" Kate's eyes widen with shock and Luke's face tightens with a snarl, I quickly continue.

"So I kissed him" I mumble as shame laces my tone, but I continue regardless, "I had to fight with myself constantly, just so I wouldn't be sick, but I focused... Breathed... And assessed... Then I did what you taught me Luke" my eyes flash to his. I look at him with grateful teary eyes, "I did what you taught me, I pulled his head back, hard, I used my fist to smash him in the throat, then when I had the advantage, I kneed him in the groin and speared his chin and foot with my heel... As he fell to the floor and the doors opened I ran... You know the rest Luke" I hear Kate gasp and my eyes rise to hers. All sorts of emotions cross her face, shock, fear, worry, then it settles on amazement. She shakes her head slowly, still holding my eye,

"Fuck Ana... You covered all bases" Kate gasps but still looks a little awed. Then her brow furrows sharply and she stands taller, and I know all her anger has not yet receded, "Why have you not said anything about this?" she snaps, her voice now holds disappointment and anger, "Why didn't you tell Christian?"

"I didn't want to ruin our trip" I mumble sounding pathetic, Kate just glares at me, I shrug "Kate, I was going to tell Christian but only after we left, I knew he would be angry if he found out sooner, and that our flight wouldn't take off... So I chose to keep it to myself" I glance sheepishly to Luke and mouth the word 'Sorry' he shakes his head minutely. I look back to Kate and continue, "After speaking to Christian and him leaving without me... It didn't seem so important, Clifton scared me and I was upset... But Christian leaving me... Was so much worse..." my voice trails away, as I realise how lame this all sounds even to my ears, but my feelings over took my rationality... Just like a Christian. He must be hurting so much right now, must feel so lost and alone, I need to... Lukes voice pulls me back,

"I'm going to..." Luke snarls angrily, turning on his heel and storming towards the door. I jump up quickly and grab his arm pulling him back,

"Luke don't get mad, not now... Later definitely, but for now we need to sort this out, Christian believes these photos... He won't talk to Taylor or answer anyones calls... What shall we do?" I stare up at him hopefully, but he just stares back at me, well stares through me more like. what the hell has got into him?, "Help me Luke... How do I tell Christian the truth? How do I explain what really happened?, He needs to know that these photos mean nothing", my voice trails away once again, as I imagine what Christian must be going through, we need to tell him.

I stare at Kate and for once she's silent, her eyes still hold her shock, I glance at Luke as I see him reach for his phone, "That's it" I exclaim, all eyes turn to me, "I know what to do, where's my phone? Christian has this Info guy... He can find out who sent them, hopefully he can get hold of the entire footage" I grab my phone from Kate and start to search, "Oh I can't remember his name" I curse, "Shit... I'm sure it began with a W.."

"Welch" Luke mutters simply, looking abit distracted,

"Yes, that's it" I scroll for his number and eagerly dial.

I put the call on loud speaker as he answers the phone, "Hello" his pleasant voice fills the room,

"Hi Mr Welch, my name is Anastasia Steele I'm a friend of Christian Grey's" I tell him quickly,

"I know who you are Miss Steele how can I help you?" his polite voice asks,

"Well, I need your help, Christian told me that you're good with computer's and stuff, and that you can find out anything" I offer up hoping he's as good as Christian thinks he is, for all our sakes,

"Well I hope so Miss Steele" he chuckles,

"Me too" I gush in earnest, "Christian was sent some photos from the Clifton Hotel in house CCTV earlier today, but they were taken out of context... And well long story short, we need help getting hold of the full original footage, Can you help us?" I ask urgently,

"Should not be a problem, I've already been doing a little digging about, so I know their systems, leave it with me" he states and I'm sure I can already hear his fingers on his keyboard,

"Good, thank you Mr Welch, whatever you find could you send to Taylor and myself not Christian" he interrupts me sounding wary,

"Of course Miss Steele, but Mr Grey will need to..." I interrupt him now, as he is wasting valuable searching time,

"Please Mr Welch find the footage then please, go through Taylor, speak to him first but please help and fast" I so pray he is as good as he's supposed to be, if not... I don't know what we'll do,

"On it Miss Steele" and the phone line goes dead. I turn and catch Luke's eye, his face is set his eyes are hard, and he looks so angry, Kate's voice attracts my attention,

"Ana, why on earth don't you want the footage sent straight to Christian the minute you get it? It will sort everything?" she gapes at me bewildered, I shake my head at her,

"If I know Christian, he will be so angry right now, he wont be thinking clearly, Taylor told me he was like a volcano ready to blow, so if he gets to see this while he is so far away and unable to do anything, he will blow", Kate shrugs still abit unconvinced, but I know Christian and I trust Taylor, he will now when to tell him. I glance at Luke wondering why he hasn't said anything, but he looks deep in thought, and not happy ones by the look on his face,

"Luke" I question, trying to bring his attention to me, but his gaze remains averted,

"I need to go out for a while Ana, you will be fine with Kate, I won't be long, you two should really go to bed" and he turns on his heel and leaves the apartment.

"Where the hell is he going?" I ask Kate with a frown, but she dosn't answer, she just lurches her self towards me and hugs me tightly.

"Oh Ana" she breathes, as she squeezes the life out of me.

.

A/N I WILL POST AGAIN OVER THE WEEKEND, IF I CAN WANGLE TOMORROW OFF. THANK YOU ALL ONCE AGAIN FOR STICKING WITH THIS. AND I'M SORRY FOR ALL YOUR HIGH STRESS LEVELS, BUT DON'T WORRY THEIR REUNION WILL BE SO... SO SWEET...


	56. 56 Late Night Conversation

A/N

MORE WALLOWING I'M AFRAID.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Luke

As I leave the car park of Ana's building, I put my foot down eager to be on my way. My hands grip the steering wheel so tightly, that my knuckles are white. I try and relax my fingers but it's no good, I'm fuming. Firstly with this Clifton prick and that Gia witch, but more so with Ana for not confiding in me. How in the hell am I supposed to protect her, how can I to do my job if she hinders it? I need to have a serious talk with her once all of this is over, or I quit.

As I pull up outside the hotel, I jump out of the car and toss my keys to the young valet, "I will only be ten, fifteen minutes tops, so don't move it too far" I tell him passing him a fifty, he smiles gratefully,

"Of course not Sir, thank you Sir" he mutters respectfully, I nod as I ascend the steps.

As I bounce into the hotel my anger rises, who the fuck does this guy think he is preying on a woman, men like him should be strung up by their balls. My anger is fueld, as it scares the shit out of me to think of this scenario 24hrs ago, Ana wouldn't have stood a chance. If I hadn't of spent time with her, this would have turned out very differently, and I shudder at the thought.

It makes me sick and I'm going to show this Clifton punk just how sick. I square my shoulders and relax my face, putting up a calm facade as I head over to the pretty blonde receptionist. As I approach she looks up at me and smiles, I return her beam,

"Hi beautiful" I drawl with a wink, leaning on the counter, She flushes and sits a little taller, which is just the response I need, I can work with this, I've gotta get to this creep some how.

"How may I help you Sir" she beams with more flushing,

"Oh I don't think what I'd like... Is in your job description" I drool, her eyes widen as her flush deepens further

"Sir" she mumbles,

"No fear beautiful, I'm here to see Sam Clifton" I say more calmly and innuendo free, as even his name riles me, I take a deep breath to help keep my facade in place,

"Are you his late meeting?" she asks a little flustered looking in a diary,

"Yes babe, that's me" I lie easily, thankful of the way in, "Is he in his office?" I ask,

"Yes sir, I will buzz him, let him know you have finally arrived, you are a little late" she looks warily up at me, he must frighten her too, which so pisses me off. Once I've sorted this I need Welch to dig a lot deeper, I bet Ana isn't the only one he's got over friendly with. The thought angers me, which is just what I need, I calmly breath,

"No need sweets, I'm late, he'll be pissed... You know what he's like, I don't want him shouting at you... So I'll go straight in" I see her relax at the thought, so I'm not too far off the mark. The scum bag deserves a late visit,

"Oh thank you" she gushes gratefully,

"No worries babe, see you in a bit" I smile as I head away. On the way out I will have to give her Grey's card, he will have to sort her out with a new job, she's bound to get backlash for my easy access, plus she deserves better than working for this prick.

As I near the door I approach slowly, as I hear Clifton ranting on the phone. Once silence falls in the room, I slowly push open the door. He's sitting behind his desk looking all pompous and important, oh this should be fun, as paybacks a bitch. His hard eyes flash to mine as he shouts,

"Who are you? What are you doing in here?" he stands trying to intimidate, save it prick,

"Not a word fucker" I growl as his face falls,

"What do you want..." he mutters,

"Oh don't worry... We're just going to have some... Fun" I tell him with a sneer while cracking my knuckles,

I step towards him... As my heel kicks the door closed.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx K

It's 3am and I just can't sleep, I've been rolling around in bed just fretting about Ana for the past two hours. I need to talk to her, comfort her, I know she will be awake. So I jump out of bed and head to the kitchen popping on the kettle. I tap gently on Ana's door and when I get no response, I slowly push it open. Ana is sitting up in bed hugging her knees, just looking lost out of the window, I head over and place her tea on the bedside table and jump in bed next to her.

Ana's head lolls onto my shoulder and I wrap my arm around her, my heart twists and my pulse races, when I think of what she has been through today. Her encounter with Clifton, Christian leaving her, all the upset of not knowing why and now this waiting around, I hope this Welch gets back to us soon, we need to get Christian home. Ana sighs leaning into me more, I kiss the top of her head comfortingly,

"Are you ok?" I whisper,

"I'm fine, I just miss Christian" she breathes quietly, the longing in her voice is evident and my heart bleeds for her,

"I know you do, but that's not what I meant, how are you really after today?" Ana smiles woefully up at me but says nothing, so I will, I need her to know how worried I am about her, so I start easy,

"I can't believe what happened, you could have been..." my voice trails off as I'm unable to say the word out loud. My heart beat pounds in recollection of her ordeal, all the fear creeps back into me and I wrap my arms around her tighter, "Oh Ana," I mutter as I feel her shiver in my arms.

"I know" she whispers, "If I hadn't of spent the afternoon training with Luke... I don't know what I would have done, I froze Kate... For a split second I was paralysed" her voice holds traces of the fear that she felt, and my anxiety rises once again, "I didn't know what to do" Ana mumbles, "But then I thought of Luke, and I found the inner strength that he told me to use and focus on" God I could kiss that guy,

"But how do you feel?" I insist, if it was me, I would probably be in a heap on the floor by now, but Ana has always been a lot stronger than people think,

"Well I probably won't want to go in a lift again" she jests half heartily,

"Ana" I chastise gently,

"How do I feel?... I don't know Kate, I was scared, felt vulnerable and my heart pounds just thinking about what could of happened... But I beat him... So I have to think of the positive, but if the truth be known... I might just have a quiet word with Flynn" Ana softly giggles as my eyebrow knit,

"Who's Flynn?" I ask,

"Christian has a Dr that he talks through his problems with, I've met him so I might have a session or two" Ana explains, I nod slowly thinking this through,

"Good idea, it can't hurt" I hug her close as she drinks her tea and were quiet for a time, but the silence is killing me, I have so much going around in my head,

"I don't know what to say Ana... I don't know what I would have done... In that situation... I'm so proud of you" I confess truthfully, not many women would have held their nerve long enough, to do what she did and I know I would probably be one of them. "What do you think Christian will do?" I ask,

"I dread to think" Ana says softly with a heavy sigh.

I chew on my lip nervously as I want to talk about him, I'm so angry with him right now for running out on her, even though the photos he got did paint a very convincing picture, and I can understand his belief, but he ran when she needed him. Ana seems to hold no such anger for him, and I want to know why,

"Are you not angry with Christian for believing and running so quickly" I whisper, hoping I don't upset her anymore than she probably already is,

Ana shakes her head against my shoulder, "Kate, you know me better than anyone... And even your first reaction was belief and anger" I look contrite as shame washes through me, she's right, for a split second I did believe them, I nod before I continue,

"I know and I'm sorry... But Christian didn't even question you, at least I shouted at you, he believed and ran", Ana simply nods once again, she looks up at me with pure compassion and love on her face. God she's still got it so bad. I know without a doubt that Christian loves Ana, wants her, needs her... But this situation has brought to light other issues,

"He doesn't trust you Ana" I whisper my main concern.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A

Kate's words hang heavy in the darkness,

"He does trust me Kate that's why he ran, that's why he's so hurt... He knew the truth but his eyes saw the lie, what was he supposed to think?... He's hurt, confused and doesn't know how to deal with any of this," my heart lurches painfully with thinking too deeply about what Christian has been going through, what he is still going through, "This is all so new to him Kate, he doesn't know how to react to such strong emotions, his head will be all over the place" my voice saddens as the feelings engulf me. Kate hugs me close once again,

"Ana, I know those photos were very convincing but he..." I interrupt her, I can't have her hating Christian, he's the injured party in all of this,

"Before me Kate, Christian was cold, hard, emotion less", I feel Kate nod against me as she recalls the old Christian Grey, "I know he will be flooded with excruciating feelings, and he won't understand them... Or know how to handle them. What he's seen with his own two eyes has broken him, I understand and feel so bad for him... Plus he doesn't know he attacked me, he sees us kissing... I want to go to him Kate, I want to be with him... But it would only hurt him more, he wouldn't believe me that's why we need Welch's help", and I hope he hurry's. I miss Christian so much and need to ease his pain,

"Since when did you become so insightful?" Kate asks with a chuckle,

"I'm not" I softly giggle, "I just know Christian, I feel him Kate, I feel what he must be going through" and it hurts, more than anything,

"But don't you hate him for running out on you?" I hide a sigh, sometimes I hate the fact that my best friend is a journalist, she never stops,

"Kate I could never hate him, he doesn't believe I cheated on him, I know he doesn't... But he sees it... It's hurt and scared him, for him to run like this only proves it to me more," Kate shifts so she's looking at me, her face looks totally bemused, I continue with a small smile, "Gail asked me for patience with him... This whole relationship thing is all so new to him, he has practiced reactions to when he's hurt, and that's anger and fear... I empathise Kate, I could never hate him for being confused and hurt, for not wanting to face something that would undoubtedly break his heart" my voice saddens, oh Christian...I love you please feel it, cling on to it. I mentally beg,

"You're amazing you know that... He's so lucky to have you" Kate praises, but I shake my head,

"If I'd have been sent photos of Christian kissing someone else, I would've believed them too, I would have ran for sure, to see him kissing someone else would be heartbreaking and I wouldn't want to deal with that, What would you do if you saw pic of Elliot" I ask hoping for her understanding with Christian,

"I would castrate and deal with him later" she says automatically with a giggle, I chuckle,

"See... Christian's first instinct was to distance himself, so he ran... He didn't know what else to do" Kate nods now in total understanding and hopefully she won't hold this against Christian, because I don't, I understand. Kate leans into me now, and the contact is comforting, for both of us I feel. Kate's suddenly hardened voice reaches my ear,

"Ana who did this?" she asks, I sigh heavily trying to control the surge of anger I instantly feel,

"It has to be Gia" I answer, my voice cold. I hear Kate's low gasp as I continue, "I thought she was a friend, but Christian did warn me" and I should of listened, Gia must of known what Clifton was like, and I fume at the thought,

"Really, why her?" Kate mutters, hiding a yawn,

"She was in the office watching the CCTV, It has to be her, Christian got those photos before I had even left the hotel" I state firmly, there is no doubt in my mind who caused all of this,

"Why would she?" Kate asks with a frown,

"She like Christian, I told you she's propositioned him a few times over the years" and I feel my skin crawl, to think so did this to try and split us up. I feel Kate nod,

"I said to watch her" Kate states,

"I know... But she will get hers" I say surprisingly through gritted teeth,

"What you gonna do?"

"I'm not sure yet" I mumble, but I have been giving it some thought, and my thoughts have surprised me, in a bad way,

"What about Sam Clifton?" Kate asks and I shrug, I haven't even wanted to think about him, "You should lock Luke and Taylor in a room with him for an hour or three... He would soon think twice about hurting anyone else" Kate says with no humour,

"I will leave him to Christian... He will know what to do" I tell her, and I start to nibble on my lip, as maybe Christian isn't the best person to deal with him, as he will want to kill him. I feel Kate heavy against me and realise she must be tired, so I shuffle further down into the bed and take her with me. With Christian so far away Kate closeness is a good replacement,

"Good night Ana... I'm so glad you're safe" Kate whispers,

"Me too, Kate... Me too" I whisper back, feeling safe in my friends arms, and sleep soon claims us both.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx C

As my eyes open slowly, very slowly, I feel the pain start to pound in my head, I close my eyes quickly and groan. God I feel like death. I attempt to roll instead of climb out of bed, to keep my head from spinning, when I notice I'm clutching my phone. I lift the phone in front of my face and open one eye, I groan as I notice the screen saver. It's my favourite picture of Ana, were on the boat and she looks so happy. The pain in my chest returns, I feel so Cold and empty without her, so lost... God this wallowing is painful.

With my phone only inches away from my face, I scroll through all the photos Stone took, where they all lies? No... I see it, feel it, she loves me. I scroll too far and catch a glimpse of their kiss, and I take a punch in the guts.

Why would she kiss him? Is she that insatiable?

No... I just wasn't enough for her.

Dropping my phone on the bed I roll off it, and feeling like utter crap I head for the kitchen. I notice a wet patch on the carpet and shamefully think back to how I got to bed... Taylor must think I'm such a prick.

As I pull open the fridge and catch sight and smell of its contents, I feel instantly nauseated. I head for the sink just in case, an fill a glass with water and attempt to drink. Christ... Can you wake up still drunk?

My head is pounding, I feel so awful and I hate myself for what I have allowed myself to become, but I know that the only thing that will ease me... Is a hair of the dog that bit me, I chuckle despite my shame, at Elliot's famous last words. I head back to the fridge and pull out a bottle of wine, I open and swig and my body instantly feel better.

An hour later I'm back in full wallow mode. I needed the alcohol to steady me and once again to distract me, from the unbearable pain coursing through me, because I had so much planned for today, we were going to do so much together... I was going to propose to her tonight. I feel my chest tighten as the hurt grips me. I feel like such a fool.

I reach for the bottle and I'm surprised to find it empty, I head for the liquor cabinet and grab a bottle of Jack. Ignoring Mrs Hanley I head back to the bedroom, I might as well stay in bed, I've fuck all else to do.

I hate being here, my apartment feels so empty, more so because Ana has never been here, I can't feel her presence here... But Escala will be a different matter entierly, it will hurt so much more... I can't go home... I will get Taylor to make sure she has gone before we get back, that thought is so painful... And I don't want to lose her... But I already have...

A loud rap on the door makes me groan "Taylor fuck off" I moan into my pillow,

"Sir please, I really need to talk to you, it is important" his voice sounds irritate but fuck him,

"No" I attempt to shout, but cut it short as my head pounds. "Please Taylor, not now" I mumble clutching my head.

Why did I allow myself to get this drunk? I feel worse... I shouldn't of let this happen, she made me soft... Made me feel... And feelings are a waste of fucking time and effort... And what a fool I've been. Elena was right all along... Love is for fuckin fools, but I reveled in being a fool... I loved being in love... I would be a fool for Ana any day of the week... but I should never have let her in... But I had no choice, she is a part of me... The good part... The rational part.

I hate myself for missing everything about her, her touch, her smell, her smile, her voice... Just feeling her near me. It's not just sex, even though it's the best I've ever experienced. In thirteen years of sex, and every possible scenario with many beautiful women, nothing and no one, has touched what Ana and I have shared... Why?

I knew this would happen, I knew she was too good for me, how could she ever... Have been meant for me... Not after everything that I have done. This is payback, for every hurtful thing I have ever done, to every woman I have ever met. This is justice, for the man I truly am. How could I ever be happy when I don't deserve to be happy... But I was happy, I had a taste of it... Now I'm not and it's all her fault, I spit out childishly.

Booze and anger... Equal pity.

Toughen up Grey, it's only a woman... but she was my woman. Mine.

I roll on the bed as my phone beeps and make a grab for it hopefully, but it's only Elliot, again, I refuse the call and continue my mope. I have had calls from Kate, Elliot, Flynn even Taylor, my brow furrows, why would Taylor need to call he's right here? But I have heard nothing from Ana, nothing, She hasn't even bothered to call me.

I flick to the CCTV photos to prove my anger and justify my wallowing, "See" I sneer to myself, "She is receptive to everyone not solely to me" My mood dips further downwards, now that I'm studying the photo closer. She was never mine... Look how she is cupping his head, stroking his hair... Just like she does mine... I mean nothing to her. I take a deep swig from the bottle and curse once it's empty. I sit up and order more,

"Jack... I need more Jason" I yell with a chuckle as I fall back onto the bed.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx T

After Grey decides on having another wallow session, I decide to leave him to it and head to the kitchen. I pull out my phone and call Ana. She answers on the second ring sounding half asleep,

"Hi Ana sorry to wake you, are you ok? Sawyer told me what really happened, if I was there I would... I will..." my tone has turned nasty,

"I'm fine Taylor calm down, have you told Christian about this yet? I want to call him but..." I interrupt her concerned voice,

"No Ana don't, he's in no condition to speak to anyone at the moment, he's far too angry and he won't listen, he's in bits Ana" I pause at her gasp,

"What's he doing?" she asks quietly,

"Drinking himself silly" I admit, hiding my annoyance,

"Oh Taylor, please look after him, try and tell him it's all a mistake and that I love him" I hear her tears in her soft voice,

"He won't listen to me or see me, he's pretty hurt Ana, cut up even" As Ana fails to hide her sorrow, I kick myself, as I probably should have lied,

"Help him Taylor, stop him, he's going to hurt himself. He won't understand his feeling, he won't know how to deal with them, after what happened with Luke and now this... He will be all over the place, he thinks I've lied to him" despite her saddened tone, I smile to myself as she knows him pretty well, "He thinks I've cheated on him... Shall I send Flynn or his Mom?" she asks hopefully but its a lost cause,

"No Ana, without proof he will not listen to anyone or see reason, no one can get through to him while he's in this state" I tell her honestly, he's shut himself well down,

"Can't you try and talk to him again? Scream at him so loud that he has to listen" Ana pleads desperately, she's hurting just as much as he is, poor kid,

"I can't Ana, the stubborn fucker wants to wallow instead of fight... I've approached him, snapped at him, even rang him like a dick... But he won't let me near him, I hear him though, banging away on that darn piano, he's just drinking, talking drunkenly to himself, he'll be okay" hopefully,

"Shall I come to him?" she asks quietly, but I scream inside "Fuck nnnoooooo"

"No Ana he's in no state for reasoning" I tell her, hiding my inner relief that he has no red room here, if she turned up he'd probably string her up for sure,

"He's too angry, hurt, he might... Look Ana, he loves you just hold on to that, but we need proof... I need something to bargain with, words aren't enough... Until I have something concrete to shove in his face, to convince him with... Then we have to leave him be, let him handle things his way" even if that does mean him acting like a total tool,

"I have Welch on it, he's trying to get full CCTV footage" Ana reminds me,

"I will chase it up, so I'll be in touch and don't worry about Christian, he'll be fine and things will work out", I have no doubt but just the sooner the better in my book, saying that... Grey can always buy a new kidney.

I hang up, and take a tray into Grey. I hear him groaning in his sleep as he rolls around on the bed. Poor bastard, the nightmares have hit him again, it's been very peaceful of late... Oh hurry the fuck up Welch, before he does something stupid.

.

As the bed room door closes behind me, i grab my phone, "Anything Welch?" I ask, as soon as he picks up the call,

"Sorry it's taken so long Taylor, but this guy sure has the latest techno, every safeguard and firewall going, must have a lot to Hide, I've been digging about since I spoke to Luke yesterday, I have a lot of financial, personal and business dealings info, but I'm having a few props with the CCTV, it's all been removed for a start, but I have a guy at the hotel now, trying to obtain access to the internal computers through the hotel itself, I spoke to him a few minutes ago and he doesn't think he will have any problems" Welch informs me efficiently,

"Great Welch, so what else did you find out about this scum bag?" I ask, knowing that Grey will want any way in... To destroy him,

"Well let's put it this way Taylor... He has a high turnover of female staff, he is... Oh hang on T, I have feed... Yes I'm in... Bare with me Taylor I just need a minute... Right here we go... What time exactly yesterday?" he asks eagerly,

"About 1.30, 1.45 I think. It's the lift camera footage we need more than anything" I reply just as vigorously,

"Well the slimy bastard, Taylor is this Miss Steele?" he asks suddenly sounding very cautious,

"Yeah that's Ana," I state proudly, that's Greys little lady,

"The mother fucker... Taylor... Grey isn't going to like this, I'm sending everything to you now" his worried tone mutters,

"Thanks Welch" I say gratefully,

"I will keep looking and send you everything I find, I have just got a new mission statement, this slimy bastards walls are going to crumble... I am going to find his secrets so Grey can destroy him" oh I like the determined tone his voice yields,

"Thanks welch, I'll be in touch"

As I hang up, the message arrives. Opening up the video I watch, and despite my inner cheers of "You go girl" I can feel my anger rising. My grip on my phone gets tighter and my jaw clenches painfully, "I'm going to kill that motherfucker" I curse loudly,

But fuck... I can't tell Grey, not while we're so far away, not while he is so angry, because when he see's this... The fuckin shit is gonna hit the fan, because Grey is gonna blow. So we need to get him home first... And sober.

A/N

HI EVERYONE, I'M TRYING TO GET HIM HOME ASAP BUT THERE ARE STEPS TO TAKE, I THINK THERE IS ONE... MAYBE TWO MORE CHAPTERS WHERE THEY ARE APART BEFORE HE HEADS HOME, SO BARE WITH ME. AS ALWAYS, THANK YOU FOR YOUR OVER WHELMING RESPONSE TO THIS IT IS SO APPRECIATED.

.


	57. 57 Shared Dreams

A/N THANK YOU ALL AS ALWAYS.

NOW... I'M GETTING ALOT OF PM'S SAYING I'M DRAGGING THIS OUT, AND THAT I LIED ABOUT GETTING HIM HOME FOR MONDAY, WELL THE FACT THAT I HAVE POSTED FOUR CHAPTERS IN A WEEK, PROVES THAT I DON'T WANT TO DRAG THIS OUT, I WANT TO END YOUR STRESS ASAP, AND WHEN I SAID HE WOULD BE HOME BY MONDAY... I MEANT IN THERE TIME... NOT OURS... SORRY FOR THE CONFUSION.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A

As I hang up my phone, I brush away the lone heavy tear that is running into my hairline. I feel Kate shift in the bed as she raises herself up onto her elbow, then brushes my hair off my face, "What did Taylor say? Is Christian okay?" she asks quietly, I sigh sadly looking up at her,

"He's in bits Kate... He's locked himself away and is drinking heavily" I hear my voice break but I manage to contain my tears,

"Don't worry Ana, this will all soon be over" Kate cajoles, "What did Taylor say?" she asks again,

"He's going to chase things up, talk to Welch" I reply, hoping it will help,

"Well that's good, Welch won't want Taylor on his arse for long, so come on... I need coffee" Kate jumps out of bed and pulls me along with her, I know she is trying to distract me and I welcome her efforts and go along willingly.

As we all sit around the kitchen table the atmosphere is stifling, were all eager, all on edge, and no one really knows what to say. The silence is broken, thankfully, by two battling ring tones. Luke snatches at his phone, where as I just pass mine to Kate.

I know what the footage will show... I have no need to see it again.

While the're both watching the footage, I head for the kettle... Yet again. I faintly hear Luke growl, but it's overshadowed by Kate exclaiming loudly, "Fuck Steele... You really kicked arse" I can't help but shake my head with a weak smile at her praise.

Luke stands abruptly from the table causing his chair to topple, and he turns quickly towards me. I can see the anger pulsing out of him, but when his eyes meet mine they soften, his face contorts with worry, then falls with relief.

I hear Luke's heavy sigh as I turn gratefully towards him, "Thank you Luke" I whisper as I step towards him, and fall into his arms in floods of tears. The last 24hrs have hit me suddenly and I feel totally drained. The relief in knowing that we have the proof we need to bring Christian home, has overwhelmed me and I just let go. I sob heavily into Luke's chest, as his arms wrap around me. Oh crying feels good.

As my relieved tears subside, he lifts me suddenly and walks over to the sofa, where he sets me down and lays the throw over me, even taking the care to tuck me in. As he does I wipe my eyes, and that's when I notice his bruised swollen knuckles,

"Luke?" I question looking up at him. His face sets adamantly, as his shoulders square,

"It's nothing Ana" Luke replies dismissively as he hands me a handkerchief. He averts his gaze to Kate, who is watching us with a smug grin on her face, and I know instantly what's happened,

"You didn't?" I whisper, "Please tell me you didn't go over there and beat up..." Luke's eyes meet mine,

"I did... I had to Ana" he states matter of fact,

"Good on you Luke" Kate pipes up and my eyes flash to hers, she just shrugs with a smile as I just frown, I turn back to Luke,

"You should have let Christian deal with it... You could have..." he interrupts my chastisement,

"Ana... It was my job to protect you and I didn't" Luke's voice sound remorseful and he physically slumps, so I interrupt him quickly,

"You did Luke" I tell him truthfully "You were with me I heard your voice, I believed in you, your training saved me... But you shouldn't have gone over there" he could be in so much trouble now, plus he could of gotten hurt,

"I'm sorry Ana, but Mr Grey couldn't... And Taylor would expect it" Luke informs me with a shrug, "Plus, I wanted to" I hear Kate chuckle, but manage to contain mine,

"Thank you Luke" I tell him gratefully hiding my smile, I'm secretly glad he's pummeled him, he deserves worse, but I can't condone it,

"Your welcome Ana" he states with a smile trying to contain his grin,

"Will Taylor show this footage to Christian straight away?" Kate interjects, glancing between Luke and I. I shake my head slowly,

"I'm not sure... Taylor said he needed the leverage to convince him, but I don't know what state he's in. Drunk and angry with this information can only make things worse" Kate nods with a knowing frown as she sits next to me, and Luke heads for the kettle.

"So Ana what are we going to do?... Do we just wait for Christian to call or what? His flight isn't due home until tomorrow about five" Kate asks as I shrug,

"I trust Taylor, he will do what's best all around... At least we know that this mess can finally be sorted, and once Christian knows he will think straight, and be in touch" I tell her adamantly,

Luke heads over and gives us both a cup, "Thanks Luke" Kate and I say in unison and we receive his rare boyish smile.

I lay back into the sofa and just stare into my cup. What do we do now? It feels like such an anticlimax, all the worry of obtaining the tapes is over, and the relief should ease me... But it just left a gaping hole. My chest twists painfully thinking about Christian, then my heart pounds at the thought of his reaction once he's watched the CCTV, he will be so angry... So hurt and if I know him... Very remorseful.

I sigh inwardly as I think over how different this weekend should have been, if Gia hadn't of sent me to check out that room, I would have simply left the hotel, caught my flight, had a great time in New York... And be engaged by tonight. I inwardly fold with the pain, at the thought of that not happening now. I feel my eyes well up and glance to Kate, but thankfully she is still bouncing appreciative and proud looks towards Luke, who if I'm honest... Is reveling in it and is starting to look a little pleased with himself.

I discretely dab at my eyes as my mind wanders. I would have said yes, without a shadow of a doubt... I would have accepted his proposal, and it hurts so much knowing I've lost that chance. He planned everything and now because of a spiteful, manipulative bitch it won't happen. So in a fashion I suppose she's won... She got what she wanted... She hasn't split us up but she ruined what should have been a very special time for us, and for that I hate her.

I sit up straight on the sofa which attracts Kate's attention and she turns to face me, her eyebrows raise curiously at my expression. I will not let that Gia bitch or Sam Clifton win, they will not destroy what should have been a wonderful weekend for us, I will not give them the satisfaction of ruining everything Christian so carefully planned, they will not stop us from both getting what we both want.

"I know what we're going to do" I say with the wide smile I can't contain,

"What?" Kate mutters, as she and Luke just stare at me,

"We're gonna go to Vegas" I declare loudly, as a stunned silence fills the room.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx K

"Really?" I ask wide eyed,

"Yes" Ana state's proudly, "I want to marry him Kate... Right now... Just like he planned" her face is lit up like a Christmas tree and I beam back at her, then I take over.

I jump up from the sofa and dive into my bedroom, where I grab my laptop and my portfolio. Heading for the dining table I set everything up. "We can follow all of Christian's original plans, I confirmed all the important details yesterday, thankfully I managed to get a lot done before Sawyer's urgent phone call" Ana nods gratefully and rushes over taking a seat next to me, I open up my laptop and start to divulge.

"He arranged everything flight plans, hotel rooms, transport for everyone, the chapel, the hotel is covering the reception and all that entails, plus bridesmaid dresses, tux's... He even sorted your dress" I tell Ana with a mischievous chuckle,

"He did?" Ana asks as I nod. Luke hands me more coffee, I smile my thanks, God I love this guy,

"Did you know about all of this too?" Ana asks him, Luke shakes his head,

"No Ana, I only found out about all of this when you did but I have spoken to Taylor since, apparently not even Gail knew the full picture in case she couldn't keep it to herself" Luke smiles as Ana giggles,

"Ana, no one knew only me, Christian and of course Taylor, even Elliot doesn't know all the details" I chuckle as I pull Ana close, and I notice fresh tears pool in her eyes, "Everything will be perfect, don't worry, everyone is flying out tomorrow afternoon as planned, so we will travel with them" Ana's brow furrows as her teeth clame her lip,

"Kate, why has none of this been cancelled?" her soft voice asks, I smile fondly at my best friend,

"Ana, you two belong together, if there was the slightest hope of us sorting this out before Sunday evening, then I was going to cling to it, because you two have to get married, you're part of each other" Ana falls into my arms and we hug it out. I'm so glad she is doing this, it will balance out all the stress she has been through, and give her something to focus on until Christians gets back.

"So what do we do first?" she asks while pulling away from me and wiping her eyes with her sleeve,

"Firstly... We need to tell Taylor, he will have things to do at his end, then you will have to finalise all the tiny details because at the end of the day, Christian wanted this to be perfect for you, so your decision is final" Ana bites her lip expectantly as I turn the laptop to face her,

"I will let Taylor know" I hear Luke say and glance up to find him pulling out his phone with a wide grin,

"Just send a simple text, 'all systems go for original plans' " I tell him, as he nods, I turn to Ana,

"Shall I ring Christian and tell him about all of this?" I offer, Ana doesn't take her eyes from the laptop as she mutters,

"No don't tell him... Leave everything to Taylor".

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A

Hours later we have chosen and finalised everything, well almost everything, she won't let me see my dress or the rings and there are a few things that the hotel has organised, which I don't need to know about just yet. In her words, I have to have one or two surprises. So it's all set.

Luke is chilling next door, escaping from the mayhem of wedding arranging more like, Kate has just slipped into the shower, so I'm finally taking five with a glass of wine on the sofa.

As I think about all Christian has planned, and I haven't changed anything, all his ideas were perfect, my heart swells and good tears run silently down my cheeks. He has put so much thought and effort into everything, every minor detail is perfect. From my favourite flowers filling the chapel, which he's hired for the entire evening, using our colour Red for all the accent colours in everything, the table displays, room decorations, the invites, which surprisingly have already gone out, even the seat bows and cake ribbons are Red.

He so wanted this, to know he put so much consideration into every little detail, means so much. He must be so hurt right now... So dissappointed that none of his planning has come to fruition... I want to surprise him... I.. Kate distracts me from my musings as she appears in her Pj's, while she heads to the fridge her phone rings. As she grabs her phone she smiles,

"It's Taylor" she gushes, and I can't help the wave of disappointment that washes over me, because if it's Taylor calling then Chrisitan must still be in a mess,

"Kate you speak to him, I need a bath" I tell her, and as she takes the call, I head out of the room.

As I run my bath I pick up my phone, I have a strong need to see him, to be close to him, to feel him, and I sigh heavily knowing he's so far away. I sit on the chair waiting for the bath to fill and just stare at his picture on my phone. "Oh I wish you would have waited... Confronted me... Shouted at me, even screamed at me... Anything except running away... You have hurt yourself so much... I love you Christian" I mumble to myself as I run my finger across his picture on the small screen, but I understand, those pictures were more than convincing.

I miss him so much, I want to kiss him, hold him, touch him. I'd love to call him and I've had to fight the urge many times, but I know he's not in the right frame of mind to listen or speak to me yet, so I will ease us both and send a simple text.

'I love you Christian... Always... Ana xx'

I strip off my clothes quickly and step into the hot welcoming bathtub, I lay back as my mind ticks over. I miss him... I love him... I'm going to... Marry him.

As the warm water envelops me, I finally switch off and relax in what feels like the first time in days. I close my eyes and just enjoy the sensation, of the hot easing water caressing my skin.

I hear a noise and my eyes half open, and a slow contented smile spreads over my lips. I see him. He's here, "Christian" I whisper as he comes towards me.

"Hi baby" his husky voice murmurs. And my eyes roll at the sound of his voice. He strides towards me and as he reaches the tub, he pulls off his jacket and comes to rest on his knees. Then he's kissing me. I feel his lips, I battle with his tongue, I can taste him, I can smell his own unique scent,

"Oh Christian... I..." I mumble against his lips,

"Shush baby" he coes softly,

I surrender to him with a shiver as I feel his hand disturb the water, and as his fingers start to caress my thigh I can't contain my moan. "Shush beautiful" he whispers. His strong masterful fingers crawl up the inside of my legs, parting them, all the while his tongue teases and torments me, "Oh baby... I've missed you" he mutters into my mouth as I feel his fingers slowly slide into me, and I can't help it, my body responds and I come instantly around them.

I cough and splutter myself awake, as I lift my head up from under the water, "Shit I fell asleep... It was a dream... Oh crap". And my heart sinks as I can never ever... Remember feeling more disappointed... In my entire life.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx T

"Hi baby" I gush as Gail answers the phone, "You okay?" I ask,

"Oh hello my love, how are you both?" Gails soft sleepy voice whispers, shit... I keep forgetting about the time difference,

"We're fine, just wanted to catch up before you hit the hay" God I wish I was home with her, this weekend has really sucked,

"How is he Jason?" Gail's compassionate voice asks in my ear, I smile despite having no good news,

"Grey hasn't moved all day Gail, he's been a wreck since we arrived here, waste of fuckin time coming" I hear Gail tut, and sigh heavily, I've missed her so much and for what... To be a fucking bartender.

"Is he sleeping okay?" she asks, I hide my chuckle, if it was anyone but Grey that she was this concerned about, I would be beating them up, but her soft spot is huge when it comes to him,

"In a fashion, but Passing out doesn't count... Even when he does sleep though he's having nightmares, different nightmare it would seem by the state of him" I hear Gail gasp and sigh compassionately once again, "Christ Gail, he had me welling up last night, with some of the things he was saying... All this shit has broken him, there's no doubt he hasn't got a heart now Gail, thank fuck its not true or I don't think we would ever get him back" my voice is sombre, because it's true,

"I've been really worried, have you explained everything to him yet?" she asks hopefully,

"No, he's still wasted and useless, but I will put him out of his misery once he's on the plane... Any sooner than that, and he will be like a tormented tornado unable to solve anything and as you know... That would not be fun" I roll my eyes as Gail Chuckles softly in my ear, I don't know why she would find that funny.

"All weekend I looked into earlier flight plans, trying to get us home but nothing... Not even for Grey, the high winds in Seattle have held everyone up, but in hind sight it's probably been for the best, it has given him time to vent and Ana and Welch time to sort stuff... How is Ana? Has Luke kept in contact with you?" I ask earnestly, he better had I wanted her kept in the loop,

"Yes I saw him Friday at Escala before I left, and he called me today just to check in" Gail confirms,

"Did he mention how Ana was really doing? She's balled her eyes out every time I've spoken to her" I mutter rolling my eyes, women and their tears are no fucking use to anyone,

"Ana seems fine Jason" Gail assures, "I warned her after the fiasco with Luke about Christian's overreactions, she understands that he ran from the pain and didn't want to face her, or the hurt the situation caused him. She has spent all her time with Kate and Sawyer, she's fine, she's so emotional because she misses Christian, so forgive her tears Jason" Gail urges softly and I smile as she continues, "There is no sign of early PTSD, Luke's been keeping an eye on her... I think Luke feels responsible... He was waiting in Reception" Gail tells me cautiously,

"Tell him no need, nobody could of foreseen it, I just hope Grey will see it that way, cause fuck the shit's gonna hit the fan" I know how I felt when I saw the footage, fuck only knows how Grey's gonna feel.

"Has he eaten?" mother hen asks and I chuckle heartily,

"Yes, I'm a sly bastard, every time he orders booze I take food in with it, he curses me to death while eating but he won't let it go to waste" I chuckle at the memory,

"Good thinking baby" Gail praises, "Be gentle with him Jason, and keep him safe" she urges,

"I'm gonna tell Grace your stepping on her toes" I tease as Gail giggles, I then smile to myself as I pull out my trump card, and my real reason for calling so late, "On a lighter note baby... What time are you back from your sisters tomorrow?" I ask,

"Probably about eleven, why are you coming home early?" she asks hopefully,

"No baby, Luke will be swinging by to pick you up at 11.45, so make sure your home and ready to leave" I hide my chuckle, as I know her brain will be running wild,

"Why on earth..." she questions but I cut her off,

"I will tell you in a bit, but in the morning before you reach Escala you need to buy yourself something nice, charge it to Grey, no expense... His words not mine, before you start" I hear her low gasp and roll my eyes, she hates spending his money, but Christ I have a fair idea of how much this guy makes and his attitude towards it, he's spilt wine more expensive that a mere dress,

"Why?" she mumbles dubiously, oh wait for it...

"Because you have a wedding to go to baby" I tell her, and I sound excited even to my ears, god I'm such a sap, she has so rubbed off on me,

"What?" she murmurs sounding stunned,

"Grey and Ana are getting hitched in Vegas tomorrow early evening, it's all planned and you would have been told about it already... If the shit hadn't of hit the fan but..." she cuts me off sounding bemused,

"How can they get married when they haven't even seen each other?" I frown, it wasn't supposed to go down like this, where are all the whoop, whoops?, I explain further,

"Grey planned it all, now Ana's taken over, look we haven't got time to piss about, you need to sleep, go shopping, and make sure your home in time" because if her arse misses that plane I'll do a Grey and tan it,

"Why didn't you tell me?" and I can hear the frown in her voice, I chuckle,

"Because baby girl... You can't hold your own pee, never mind a secret regarding those two... Please don't be angry, just pack for Vegas and bring all your quarters for the slots, you will see Ana tomorrow and hopefully Grey, if he doesn't swan dive first" I mumble to what I thought was myself,

"Oh Jason don't even joke please" she almost sobs,

"I'm sorry baby, I'm genuinely worried too" I apologize truthfully. Gail is quiet for a sec and then I hear what I've been waiting for,

"So the're really getting married?" her soft voice questions,

"Yep... Tomorrow early evening... Argh... Christ woman calm down" I shout as I pull the phone away from my ear, before any permanent damage is done and patiently wait for Gail's happy screams to subside. I can't help but chuckle along with her, god this woman has such a good heart.

"Gail...GAIL..." I shout bringing her attention back to me "I will see you tomorrow evening okay, love you Gail" I tell her longingly, god I miss her,

"Love you too Jason... Night baby" she whispers and her voice holds the radiant smile I've put on her face, and I tut childishly, because I wish she was here to put a smile on my face.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx C

As I lie in bed just staring at the ceiling my mind dredges. I really don't want to head home tomorrow... I was supposed to be heading for a wedding, my wedding, our wedding. It pains me to know it's not going to happen. I can't believe I fell so deep that I wanted to marry her, and I hate myself and it hurts so much because... I still want to marry her.

I really need to sleep but I smell, I feel like I've worn the same clothes and just lay in this bed for days, and it's shameful. I feel anger irk me, at the thought of the control she has over me, how she can affect me so much... Even from so far away.

I changed everything for her, only for her to make a fool out of me, well no more... I've had my wallow now, now I need to face this. But first I need a shower, I really do think the smell would keep me awake, with a huff, I roll my eyes as I realise sadly... I probably won't sleep very much at all.

After a much needed shower, in which time Mrs Hanley changed the bed sheets and prepared something light for me to eat, I head for the dining table and tuck in, more hungry than I thought. As I finish up I take my plates to the sink and open the fridge, I reach for a bottle of wine then think better of it. I have drank enough over the past 24hrs to drown a fish, so no more, after tonight everything changes, no more wallowing, no more bitter self pity, from tomorrow it's back to cold, hard, CEO Grey... I know where I stand with him.

As I head to bed I trail my fingers over the piano, I'm so tempted but know it could so easily cause me to spiral. But no... I'm stronger than that... I'm stronger than these feeling coursing threw me. I will play her melody one more time... As a good bye... A final tribute to something that was so beautiful... But so fleeting.

I sit at the piano and prepare myself, as I know what this will entail and as my fingers begin to move I breath steadily. But it doesn't help. I'm flooded with every emotion that her melody invokes in me, all the love, the hope, the inspiration she enfueld hits me, and I have to stop. I pull my hands away as my heart lurches, and I jump stupidly as my phone in my pj bottoms beeps.

I dig out my phone and my whole body sags, as Ana's beautiful face stares up at me. I open her message cautiously and as I read it, the sobs and tears I have held back with booze, kept restrained over the past two days are let loose and the tears stream down my face.

My head falls into my hands and I just let go, it's a much needed cleansing release of all the hurt, anger and heartbreak I've had bottled up, and it feels so good to let it out. Those four little words that she sent me have broken me, the floodgates have opened and I'm in no rush to close them.

After I don't know how long I raise my head and cringe in shame, as I catch Taylor out the corner of my eye leaving the room. I pick myself up off the piano stool and head straight to bed.

Lying in the dark, feeling so alone, I can't help myself but torture myself, I reach for my phone and reread her message. "I love you too Ana... Always" I whisper as I roll my face into my pillow.

I hear the bedroom door open and I turn to face it, as my eyes half open and focus, a small gasp leaves me. As I see Ana closing the door behind her. She smiles brightly as she approaches me and I involuntarily smile back.

I see her, I feel her, I need her, and my body bows and yields to her as her hands slowly run up my legs. I close and roll my eyes at her soft warm touch and as she reaches my shorts she tugs gently, then giggles at my bold and eager release. I move my arm to touch her and her blue eyes meet mine mischievous "Oh No... No touching baby" she coos "Just lay back and let me love you" she whispers and I fall at her command.

Letting her clame me allows all my anger and hurt to just depisitate, here and now is what matters, this is what is important. Her touch on my chest restores my focus on her and I feel her, I feel her soft lips, I can smell her scent so I breathe deeply, relishing in her.

Her soft lips nuzzle my belly before her soft lips tease and clame me, and as her hot wet mouth ensnares me I explode, no for play nothing... Just total bliss. I hear her giggle resound in my ears and I need to touch her, I swing my arms out to reach for her but they fall with heavy slaps onto my chest. I lurch forward and curse loudly, as I realise its just a dream...

"Or a nightmare" I mutter as I climb off the bed with a frustrated huff and stagger to the bathroom to clean myself up.

Even in sleep she torments and reaches me deeply and I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing...

But I miss her so much...

.

A/N ONE MORE I PROMISE...


	58. 58 The Nerve Of That Woman

A/N SORRY FOR THE DELAY IN POSTING BUT I WAS HAVING TROUBLE, AND AFTER MUCH CONSIDERATION AND SEEKING ADVICEMENT FROM YOU LOVELY PEOPLE, I HAVE DECIDED THAT THERE WILL BE AFEW MORE CHAPTERS BEFORE A&C ARE TOGETHER.

DON'T WORRY THEY ARNT STRESSFULL... BUT I NEEDED TO DEAL WITH OTHER THINGS BEFORE THERE REUNION, AND I DON'T WANT THINGS TO OVER LAP, A&C'S REUNION DESERVES TO STAND ON ITS OWN.

I TRIED TO CONDENCE EVERYTHING INTO ONE CHAPTER TO EASE ALL YOUR SUFFERING, BUT I COULDN'T, FOR THE STORY TO FLOW HOW I WANT IT TO, I NEED THE CHAPTER SEPERATION... SO I'M SORRY TO THOSE WHO'S PATIENCE IS WAREING THIN, BUT IT HAD TO BE DONE...

HUGS TO EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT ON THIS. THANK YOU...

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx K

As we sit and eat breakfast, I can see the worry and excitement battleing on Ana's face as she fidgets in her seat. I put my spoon in my mouth to stop my chuckle as I read her needy body language. Ana didn't sleep very well last night, she mumbled Christian's name a lot and there was also quite a bit of moaning. I try and hide my smile, because I think this little horney bunny... Is missing her buck.

"How are you feeling Ana? Maybe you should try and sleep on the plane? You were kind of restless alnight" I say surprisingly without giggling,

"I'm fine" Ana mumbles as she flushes, she's still digging about in her bowl but not really eating anything,

"Sure you are" I tease with a cocked eyebrow,

"I just miss Christian" she answers with a huff, a very frustrated huff. As she throws down her spoon, I chuckle unhindered this time,

"Oh I know you do" I insinuate,

"What?" Ana asks, with her eyebrows raised and her cheeks aflame,

"Ana don't worry... I'm right there with you, I miss jumping Elliot's bones too but don't fret... By the time you go to bed you will be Mrs Grey... And will be getting all the Jiggy jiggy you need" I smile slyly at her, and chuckle as her face freezes in shock, then crumples in humor,

"Katherine Kavanagh you have no shame" Ana splutters with a loud belly laugh, then her brow furrows slightly as her eyes meet mine, "What if he won't listen to Taylor?... What if he won't even look at the footage? Willing or not... I still kissed him Kate, and Christian knows that... What if he's changed his mind about marrying me..." Ana sounds terrified as her voice trails off and I know now apart from being horney, what else is really bothering her. I can't help but roll my eyes,

"Why are you worrying so much? Of course Christian will listen and will understand, oh don't get me wrong Ana, he will no doubt go ape at 40 thousand feet, Taylor may even need to use handcuffs" I chuckle as Ana's gasps, "But there is no way that Taylor won't get through to him, or that tonight will be hindered in any way" Ana sighs heavily looking up at me hopefully.

What is it with this girl, how can she not see how much he loves her, "Ana, Christian loves you, there is no way he will not want to marry you, even more so now, his need to protect you and be with you will only be enfueld by what has happened" and personally I don't know if that's a good thing, he's a little OTT now,

"But what if..." Ana starts again,

"Ana, Taylor knows how much all of this means to him, he's been with us every step of the way, there is no way he will let that plane land without showing him that footage, then you will need to worry, but not in regard to getting married, I'd worry for that Clifton piece of crap, well no... Don't you dare worry, revel, because Christian is going to destroy him, and you know what, I'm gonna help" I declare truthfully. I've already been digging and the more I dig, the more I realise just how much of a true creep this guy really is. Ana's face still shows her worry, then shame, then glee,

"He deserves it doesn't he?" Ana asks with an impish grin,

"You bet your arse he does, now finish your breakfast, Luke will be back any minute from loading the car, then we have to head out, we'll pick up Gail on the way" Ana nods digging into her bowl. If everything goes smoothly, we will be in Vegas in a few hours with plenty of time to prepare, I still have to talk to the manager, check the...

"Who'll be on the flight?" Ana asks in between mouthfuls, bringing me back to the table, I answer automatically,

"Grace, Carrick, Christian's Grand parents, a few people from Grey house and their partners, Gail" Ana nods as a smile spreads across her face, "Your Mom, is in the air as we speak, Ethan and my parents are also en route and..." Ana interrupts sounding apprehensive,

"What about Elliot? You haven't mentioned Elliot, he is coming isn't he?" Ana asks urgently, I smile rolling my eyes,

"Of course Ell's coming, he left already, he's on his way with Charlie Tango" I tell her,

"Who?" Ana asks looking very bemused,

"Sorry, Christian has a helicopter" I roll my eyes, because of course he has a helicopter "It's called Charlie Tango, well it left for Vegas" I glance at my watch, "About an hour ago... It will be picking your Dad, Jose and his father up on the way" Ana looks impressed,

"Wow" she mutters,

"Yes wow" I agree with a giggle as I continue, "I think Christian did it just to butter up your Dad, but hey, he was pretty excited so it can only swing him more in our favour" I state hopefully,

"Dad will be fine once I speak to him... He doesn't know about all of this does he?" Ana asks cautiously,

"No one knows Ana only Elliot, everyone thinks you just declined a boring business trip at the last minute, no one knows what he had planned so..." Ana's eyes widen and her brain ticks over,

"Kate what did..." she attempts to ask, but no... She doesn't need that in her head, she'd be heartbroken to know the things he planned, what she missed out on,

"You don't wanna know Ana, Christian will no doubt take you there eventually... So save his surprises for then" I tell her with a wink, "Thank you Kate, for doing all of this, I so owe you" Ana smiles as I nod,

"Oh I know you do and so does Christian, so hint that Elliot wants a boat" I tease, as Ana giggles,

"But what about you?" Ana asks, oh don't tempt me Steele, Christian has already promised me anything my heart desires, so maybe,

"Well Christian's R8 is kinda nice, so you can drop a hint or two" I tell her all joking aside, I can so see myself driving one of those, Ana nods with a knowing smile, "I love you... Soon to be Mrs grey" I say as I pull her into a hug,

"Christ, that sounds so weird" Ana mumbles into my neck, I nod against her,

"After only a few weeks it should... But you know what, you're made for each other... Anybody can see that, and I know you both feel it... So good luck my best friend... I love you" I gush hugging her tight,

"I love you too Kate" Ana whispers.

As we hug Ana's phone rings, she pulls back quickly and grabs it looking so hopeful. But her face takes on a frown at the caller ID, "It's Gail" she mutters accepting the call,

"Hi Gail... What now?... How did she get in?... Did she now... Stall her, I'm on my way... Thanks Gail" Ana turns to me looking totally stunned, but says nothing. Luke suddenly enters the apartment and notices the look pass between me and Ana,

"What is it?" he asks urgently, I shrug as Ana's face hardens,

"Gia Matteo... Is at Escala, she let herself in and is waiting for Christian to come home" Ana's voice holds her total bewilderment, and I feel it too, the fucking nerve of the woman. As looks bounce between us all, voices are finally heard,

"Let's go" Luke and I both say at the same time. We make a grab for our things, place our bowls in the sink, and quickly head for the door.

As the elevator doors open, Ana steps urgently inside, I can tell she is fuming, which is such a rare and frightening sight. As the doors close I notice a change in her, I can see the perspiration start on her brow, the top of her lip, I notice her slight tremble as she starts taking deep calming breaths to ease myself. I take Ana's hand in mine and she glances down and scans left and right then giggles, as she pulls up both her hands, and I smile over my shoulder at the big guy, god love him, Luke is holding her other hand. Ana instantly relaxes, our comfort is immense and calms her instantly,

"Thank you both" she whispers, and it's clear to see that her panic has gone. As she becomes more herself and relaxes, her brain catches up once again to where we're going and her lip curls in anger, I pray silently, that this Gia bitch... Can run.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Gail

After having fun finding a suitable dress and a hat, I still thought a hat was needed even though it's an evening do, I giggle, any excuse for a hat. Oh it's so much fun to dress up, and for such a wonderful occasion. I can't believe they're getting married and that Jason never told me. But he was right to, I wouldn't have been able to keep it to myself. I chuckle as Jason knows me so well.

I reach Escala in plenty of time, but still rush round like a blue arse fly gathering what Jason and I need, setting the alarms and double checking the CCTV, I put a few plants in the sink with water and I still have time to kill. It's only 11.15 so I sit at the breakfast bar bouncing eagerly on my stool, god anyone would think I was 12 yrs old... But I can't wait to see them both get married, I can't believe it's happening and that I will be attending it...

The Elevator opens suddenly and my face falls. What the fuck? I mutter as Gia Matteo appears. She looks shocked at my being here but composes herself quickly. The cheeky bitch, how she has the nerve to come here after what she has done. I step down from my stool and take a step towards her,

"Can I help you Miss Matteo?" I ask rather coldly. Her eyebrows raise at my tone but she doesn't comment on it, she walks past me heading for the lounge like she owns the place,

"What time is Christian returning home?" she asks while trailing her hand along the back of the sofa. Before I even answer she continues, "Never mind" she waves her hand dismissively, "I will wait for him regardless... Make me a coffee" she snaps at me as she heads off towards Christian's office. I'm stunned at the audacity of this woman, but go into autopilot and with a sly smile I pull out my phone.

As my phone rings in my ear I prepare her cup, 'hurry Ana please', I mentally plead.

"Ana it's Gail" I gush as she picks up "Gia is here at Escala, she let herself in... And is determined to wait for Mr Grey ...Fine I will keep her busy... And hurry Ana".

As I hang up the call I finish the coffee and look up as I hear the Matteo woman's mutterings getting louder. My eyes widen in shock and I actually spill water on the counter top, so distracted am I by her crazy rambling,

"He always so cold with me... Well not anymore... Now shes not in the way... He's mine" she mumbles as she appears back in the lounge. She strides over towards me, takes the coffee cup but surprisingly turns on her heel without so much as a bye or leave, and heads back to the office.

Once I hear the office door slam shut, I dash to Jason's office and turn on the CCTV screens. I gasp as I see her rooting about in Christian's desk. Christian will be livid.

"Oh my god" I mutter out loud, what the hell is that woman doing? My face is frozen as I watch the Matteo woman taking off her clothes. My jaw physically drops as she kicks back in Christian chair, her ankle are crossed up on his desk and she reclines back further in just her bright red underwear.

I giggle to myself 'she's going to be sitting in that chair for a very long time' I mutter. I catch movement out the corner of my eye and I whoop for joy, as I see Ana Kate and Luke enter the car park elevator. Oh God this is going to be good... Jason has to see this. I plug Jason's Ipad into the computer, feed the CCTV to it and happily press record.

As I bounce up and down in my chair I watch with wide excited eyes as Ana marches through the apartment. She glances around urgently, as Luke and Kate fan out. They check out the rooms as they pass them, then Ana heads down the hallway to Christian's office, "Go Ana" I cheer as I laugh loudly, as Ana's hand reaches for the door.

As Ana storms into the office the Matteo woman nearly dies, her face is a picture and she freaks, she can tell Ana is livid. I can tell from Ana's mannerisms and posture that she is screaming at her, and before the Matteo woman even has her butt out the chair, Ana had slapped her face so hard, I actually see it turn pink on the screen. I gasp then chuckle unashamed as the Matteo woman cowers.

I notice Kate and Luke run across the lounge to the corridor, and as Kate enters the room the Matteo woman suddenly stands. Luke stands in the doorway leaning against the frame with a smug smile on his face. The Matteo witch attempts to move but ana swings her arm and grabs her by the hair, kicking her in the chin as she does, and the Matteo woman falls to her knees. Suddenly I can't contain my joy and burst out laughing, as Ana drags the Mattteo woman from the office by her hair, in just her underwear.

Ana drags her out of the room, down the hall, and across the lounge towards the elevator, screaming at her the whole time. I can faintly hear her voice, and I am itching to go and look, but it's not my place. I chuckle again as I notice Kate just standing stunned with her mouth open catching flies, as she watches her friend go nuts. But she soon recovers and gathers the trollops clothes and follows Ana out into the lounge.

The witch is virtually crawling on all fours trying to keep up with Ana, who is dragging her across the lounge at a very quick pace. As they reach the elevator it open quickly and Ana throws her towards it, as she lands on her hands and knees, she kicks her butt, hard, and she falls forward head first into the elevator. Kate throws her clothes in after her, then Ana leans in. Ana gets up close right in her face and then she snarls something at her and the witch turns white.

"Oh I wish this had sound" I scream, more that a little frustrated,

"I will have to learn how to lip read" I mutter with a huff, What ever Ana said to her she didn't like it, and it's scared the hell out of her. I laugh heartily as I watch her travel down in the elevator, she looks totally ridiculous, all dishevelled and only half dressed. I feel compassion flood me as I notice Ana and Kate on the screen in the hallway, as the doors close Ana sags and Kate pulls her in for a hug.

As I pull my eyes away from the screen. I pick up Jasons IPad, hit his email, and joyously press send.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx K

As the stunned silence drives me crazy I glance at Ana, "Have you calmed down yet?" I ask with a giggle. Ana breathes normally for the first time since we left Christian's apartment, and she gushes desperately,

"Oh Kate... I couldn't help it, to see her like that blatantly offering herself to him, after what she did to me has... Aarrgg, God she pisses me off" I burst out laughing at this alien in front of me, I have never seen her this angry, this frustrated, this strong,

"She did offer it up pretty easily" I state, "It's a good job you were there, no man could resist" I notice Ana and Gail share a look,

"Oh he would of been able to resist believe me" Ana states confidently as Gail smiles, I notice Gail subtly changing the subject.

"Ana I'm so sorry how your weekend has turned out" she whispers taking Ana's hand, I smile this woman is lovely,

"It's not over yet" Ana whispers with a giggle,

"No it's not... Oh Ana I'm so excited for you both... I can't wait for him to see you, he will be thrilled, oh I can't wait to see his face" Gail gushes,

"Do you think so?" Ana asks still a little unsure. God this girl needs a kick up the behind as well as that trollop, I smile to myself, that was so funny, and priceless,

"Of course he's missed you" I hear gail murmur, "He's missed you so much, Jason mentioned hes been... Very down" Gail mutters her voice full of concern. Ana's face suddenly shares the same compassionate sadness, and I'm not having this, it's her wedding day, she ain't moping about over the wallow king.

"Ana" Gail and I both say at the same time, Ana turn to Gail,

"What you did to that Matteo woman was amazing... I hope you don't mind but I... I sent it to Jason... I'm sorry if I've overstepped the mark... But I had to" Gail looks so sheepish and Ana turns my way. We share a look and suddenly Ana's eyes crease with her humour and we both burst out laughing, followed by Gail,

"Oh Gail your wonderful" I praise, "And Speaking of that witch... You do realise don't you Ana... That she has just signed her own death warrant"

"How?" Ana asks,

"Well let's put it this way... We have her breaking and entering, ransacking Christian's office, snooping about and her skaggy strip show, then to top it all we have the new Mrs Grey... Kicking her arse out. Those pictures and the story I'm going to run about her will destroy her, her reputation won't be worth shit, plus once Christian starts to slag her off, her clients will drop her quicker than she can get dressed she's ruined Ana... Let's see how she likes CCTV footage" I look from Gail to Ana and the look on both their faces is priceless.

As the car comes to a stop on the airfield, Ana and Gail step out eagerly, and I can't help but smile as I hear Luke's deep chuckle from the front seat.

.

A/N

I WILL POST AGAIN OVER THE WEEKEND.


	59. 59 Departing Flights

A/N THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR UNDERSTANDING AND PATIENCE. I FEEL BETTER POSTING AS I PLOD ALONG.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A

As we board the luxurious private jet, the efficient crew greet us politely and usher us to our seats. I sit down next to Kate, as Gail and Sawyer head to the back of the plane to sit with a group of suits and it dawns on me, that with all off Christian's nearest and dearest in one place, of course he would have arranged more security, he really does think of everything.

I glance about and catch Grace and Carrick's eyes, he smiles, she blows me a kiss. I smile back nervously as I feel Kate squeeze my hand, "No body knows Ana don't worry" Kate whispers into my ear, and I relax. Christian's Grandparents are chatting quietly to each other opposite them. Looking past them I notice Dr Flynn and is wife, he nods, she smiles, I beam back at them, making a mental note to grab five minutes with him before we land.

I notice Andrea from Christian office and she gives me a little excited wave, I wave back to her with a giggle, she still seems very beholden, surely Christian wasn't that bad, then I giggle louder, remembering that he was. The man sitting next to her who I presume is her husband, is reading, no memorizing the Safety booklet and he's as white as a sheet, I guess he doesn't like flying either. I gulp as I make sure I have hold of Kate's hand.

I notice two women sitting with them, and my eyes widen as one of the women winks at me, then turns her attention back to her pouting partner. Kate giggles beside me,

"That's Ros, Christian's number two.. She likes you" Kate whispers with a giggle "She winds Christian up, by drooling over your photographs in his office, he's bared her from entering" Kate chuckles reclining in her seat, preparing herself for her usual state on a plane... She sleeps. I flush at the thought of Ros and avert my eyes. Leaning back into my seat I nibble my lip nervously, as I notice the plane doors being closed.

About an hour into the flight I visit the bathroom, and as I leave the very plush cubical, I bump smack bang into Ros, she smile salaciously at me and my teeth claim my lip, her eyes widen and I release it quickly, I feel my cheeks heat and curse my embarrassment,

"Well... It's nice to finally meet you" she drawls, offering me her hand which I take "I'm Ros" she states,

"Ana" I say politely, she leans into me suddenly and whispers close to my ear,

"I don't know what's going on with you and Christian... And why you're not in New York, but what you're doing right here right now, is the right decision... It's good that you can overlook when he's being a dick" she laughs softly as she steps back,

"No it wasn't like that, Christian never..." I try to explain and defend, but Ros raises her hand to stop me,

"I don't want to know Ana, just marry him okay, he's been running around Grey House like Jennifer Lopez all week planning this, I need my CEO back" she rolls her playful eyes, "I don't need him asking everyone in sight, their opinions on table centerpieces and button holes" she holds her bemused expression,

"Sorry Ros" I offer, but can't help giggling at the thought of Christian being like that,

"No sweat Ana" Ros says truthfully and turns to head away, she turns back to me and holds my eye "No offense though Hun" she murmurs softly, "But I still believe Grey is only asking you to marry him... Because I told him if he wasn't quick... I would beat him to it" she adds with a wink as she heads back to her partner. I feel my mouth fall open and stutter something garbled after her, I hear her chuckling as she walks away.

I turn to head back to my seat, feeling more than a little stunned, when I notice Dr Flynn rise from his seat. As I head over he introduces his wife to me, then gestures to two free seats nearer the back of the plane. As we sit his questions begin,

"I spoke to Taylor, are you feeling okay Ana?" he asks, no disguising his concern, I nod reassuringly,

"Fine Dr Flynn" I tell him truthfully,

"John, please" he corrects and I smile up at him,

"But I would like to see you some time, if you could spare me the time" I ask, talking everything through with him has to help, and I could do with some advice on how Christian will handle all of this,

"Of course Ana, anytime that is convenient... Taylor mentioned that you... Handled yourself very well" he says trying to hide his chuckle. Taylor probably told him I kicked his butt, I giggle as I reply,

"Yes, thanks to Luke" my tone holds my gratitude for him, and I know John knows the whole story when he nods with a smile,

"You seem to be coping very well" he states,

"I feel fine, Kate and Luke have been great... but I'm more worried about Christian, would you please call him? Try and speak to him sometime?" I ask hopefully,

"Ana it's not necessary, Christian will be fine, he..." I rudely interrupt him,

"How can Christian be fine John, he's been hurting so much over these past few days, he will be so confused... So remorseful... So guilty even" my voice holds pain and John taps my hand comfortingly,

"Ana... I spoke to him over the weekend and well... He won't want to talk to me just yet" he says with an amused smile, I feel my brow furrow at his humor,

"How did he seem? What did he say?" I ask desperately,

"Ana he seemed fine" John chuckles as he continues "But I think he'd had one too many drinks when he rang me at 3am, to tell me to stick going with the flow... Up where the sun doesn't shine" John chuckles loudly, as I gape at him,

"He never?" I gasp sounding astounded, but can't contain my giggle,

"He did, the cheeky sod" John laughs as my giggle subsides, my heart twists painfully in understanding of what that one sentence meant to Christian,

"He must have been so hurt and confused John" I repeat, feeling Christian's pain once again, "He will be..." John takes my hand,

"Ana, your compassion and love for him is overwhelming, but don't worry he will be fine, once he sees you he..." I interrupt him again,

"How can you say that?" I snap, but his face softens, as he ignores my abruptness,

"Ana I know him... And if his rare sense of humor is still intact... then he's okay" John assures me with a chuckle,

"What on earth do you mean?" I ask, what could he possibly find funny in all of this?

"He told me that he's also going to sue me" he chuckles as my eyes widen in question, "For giving crap advice" and John laughs unhindered, despite my small smile I still ask,

"Are you not worried about him at all? your a Dr, you should be..." his laughter bellows now,

"Ana I'm not worried about his solitude or drinking... that's understandable, considering Christian's emotional state when it comes to relationships... and well in my professional opinion, it could be worse... as he could be fighting".

With a shoulder pat, a smile of encouragement and a final farewell, John returns back to his seat. I'm stunned, poor Christian.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx C

As I awake, I bury deep the feelings of loneliness and sadness that want to greet me, I step out of bed on tired legs and shuffle slowly to the bathroom after just over three hours sleep, and even they weren't interrupted. I turn on the shower, strip, then step in. Holding my head under the water I allow it to wake me, and slowly begin to feel my body and mind come to life. I stand taller and turn my face into the spray, and begin my routine of washing as my mind takes stock.

This is it, the first step to change, from now on, no more feelings, no more distractions. From now on, as it has always been, work is my number one priority. I will focus all my attention on Grey house, it has always worked in the past to console and calm me. Succeeding can be very rewarding, it's a great way to channel all my hurt and anger, I will reschedule my New York meeting, and this time no female distractions... Just ruthless business.

Reclaiming my old routine will help immensely as a distraction to all of this, having the structure back will settle everything, keep my mind focused. Work has suffered of late, I have left far too much to Ros which was unfair, but I pay her well, so she can't complain. Even this past week with me in the office I wasn't really there, I spent so much time talking to Kate and planning... Nothing else got my attention.

Physically, I feel myself slacking, after missing my morning encounters with Claude for the past few weeks, my body has... But Ana was a wonderful distraction and an amazing workout, and I miss those too. I scrub away at my hair with the shampoo trying to erase my thoughts, especially the images now bouncing around my head of her in the shower with me, I can't start... Not now.

I shake the water out of my now rinsed hair, in an attempt to clear my head. I need my routine back, a thought flashes through my head for a split second, and I gasp as my chest tightens painfully. I stagger forward and rest my hand on the wall tile. Why would I even consider taking on a Submissive? No... No... That's not even an option. The thought of being with a Submissive after Ana fills my mouth with bile, and sends my heart down to my guts... where it twists painfully. Ana meant so much, still means so much, will always mean so much, after what we have shared I... I couldn't... I wouldn't... I won't be able to do... Not for a very long time.

I don't want a Submissive, I don't want servitude, scenes, control... I want touch, warmth and anticipation... I want Ana.

Stepping out of the shower, I dry and dress quickly in jeans, a T and a light jacket. slipping on my brogues I grab my wallet, keys and phone, then repack what little I had taken out of my bag and head for the door. Taylor and Mrs Hanley are in the kitchen, I notice the luggage near the elevator and add my bag.

"As soon as we have eaten, were leaving Taylor" I mumble,

"Sir" he nods respectfully, before heading to his rooms at the back of the apartment.

As I sit down at the table, Mrs Hanley places a plain omelet with brown toast in front of me. I smile at her gratefully, knowing it should ease my still pretty fragile stomach. Eating sporadically and drinking far too much, has taken a toll on my stomach and as she adds cranberry juice to the table for a total detox, I look at my plate to hide my shame. Even she knows how much of a fool I have been over the past few days, and the shame makes my jaw clench, and I feel the anger flood through me.

No one will ever see me in that state again... No one will ever know, how much all of this has hurt me... No one will ever know how, much of a fool I've been. I wolf down my breakfast without another word, eager to be on my way.

After a silent drive to the airport, the SUV pulls up in front of the jet, and suddenly it hits me right in the chest. I sit back in my seat as Taylor leaves the car to attend to the luggage, I just sit and feel the pain of my realization, that I don't want to go home...

I don't want to be in Escala... I would be able to feel her... See her in every room. A painful groan leaves me and I'm thankful that I'm alone, as I realize for sure that I can't sleep in our... My bed again. I would crave to be close to her, need to be... It would be torture and I can't have that... This is going to be hard enough without constant reminders.

As Taylor pulls open the car door, I step out and turn to face him, "Contact Sawyer, instruct him to take Ana, and all of her things home before we land" I notice Taylor's brows rise and then his eyes harden, but he holds his tongue and quickly becomes impassive as I continue.

"Arrange for a team of painters from Grey house to go to Escala, I want them to return it to how it was before, remove everything... And book me into a hotel before we land... Anywhere except The Fairmount" my voice sounds stern but I'm feeling anything but, half of me wants to go to The Fairmount and revel in my daydreams of our time together there, but no, that place will never be the same without Ana.

"Yes sir" Taylor automatically responds, I notice his voice sounds dead and I know exactly how he feels. I turn on my heel stride up the steps of the jet, leaving Taylor on the runway as he pulls out his phone.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A

As we all leave the plane, I smile brightly as I notice the two glass top limos, and two SUV's waiting for us. Oh Christian your wonderful, I think joyously as I step towards the limo. I notice Gail heading off with Sawyer to the SUV, "Gail" I shout, and she turns expectantly towards me, "Do you wanna ride with us?" I ask as her face splits into a wide grin, she smiles up at Sawyer before heading over.

"This place seems amazing, this is going to be so much fun" I can't help gush, as she sits beside me and Kate. Grace, Carrick and Christian's Grandparents settle in with us, as Dr Flynn and the Grey House team head for the other limo. Once the luggage is on board we set off.

I can't help my excitement, I sit up eagerly, looking in every direction at the wonderful bright lights of Vegas. The strip it's self is amazing, talk about bright lights, there almost blinding but god it seems like such a buzz. As we pull up outside the hotel, Kate and I share a giggle, as Elliot and movie night spring to mind, it's Ceaser's Palace.

As we head up the steps and enter the reception, Kate goes into auto pilot. Organization has always been Kate's forte, so she is in her element. Out of no where, staff arrive, the manager himself no less, is gushing all sorts at me like I'm royalty, but I only half listen, I'm somewhat blinded by my surroundings. Kate reads my expression and rolls her eyes with a chuckle, she nods at Luke and hands him a fey key cards, he then leads Gail and I to the elevators, and Kate wanders off with the Hotel manager.

As we wait for the elevator, Christian's family and friends gather, and we're all heading for the same floor. I glance about taking everything in. This place is amazing, I can't wait for Christian to be here, I miss him so much, he should be enjoying all of this to. I hear the elevator door open and automatically step in between Sawyer and Gail, feeling safe in my surrounding. Gail and I share a excited giggle as the elevator begins to climb.

As we step out of the elevator onto our floor, we head down the corridor, Luke stops outside a door and hands Gail a key. I turn and pull her into a hug, "Get settled then come to my room, stay with me until Jason and Christian arrive" Gail nods appreciatively then enters her room. Luke and I carry on down the corridor, but as we pass another door, Elliot sticks his head out,

"Hi Ana, welcome to Vegas" laughs Elliot loudly,

"You are such a dick" I tell him with a giggle as he pulls me in for a hug, and as usual he soaks my cheek. As I pull away he chuckles,

"You would cause trouble in an empty house you" he teases as I roll my eyes, "Where is Kate?" He asks looking past us,

"She'll be up in a bit, she had a few things to do downstairs" I tell him as we continue walking. As we reach our suite Luke does the honors, and opens the door, Elliot throws his arm over my shoulder with a loud belly laugh,

"Come on then, let's get you settled, I want to see your suit... I wanna look for tigers"

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx T

As Grey storms up the jet steps, I pull out my phone. As I catch sight of the footage Gail has sent me, I quickly push my fist into my mouth and bite down, trying hard to silence the laughter that Grey would no doubt still be able to hear. I turn away from the jet and walk a safe distance away, then watch the CCTV footage fully and allow my belly laugh to roar.

God, Ana kicked arse yet again, literally, I pause and rewind the clip of Ana hoofing her foot into the Matteo bitches arse, just before she falls into the elevator. Classic, oh this girl is amazing, the quiet ones are always the worse, I control my chuckles as I head back.

As I Board the jet, Grey is slumped in his seat, he still looks very sullen. He's unshaven, tired, looks like crap and if us ask me, is in need of a hair of the dog... But lets hope he just fucks off to sleep, he needs it... As it's gonna be a long night. I hide my smile as I turn towards the crew hovering near the door.

Ushering them into the small kitchen, I tell them all straight, "Listen don't go near Grey, steer clear and don't bug him until we're air born, then crank up the heating, play some soft music, stick a tranc in his coffee anything, and hopefully he'll fuck off to bed, as that's what we need him to do" with bemused faces the female crew take their seats, but Stephen remains and raises an eyebrow.

"As soon as Grey is out, I'll have a word, but for now... Get this bird in the air, sooner rather than later, and we're heading for Vegas" I mutter quietly while glancing over my shoulder but it's safe, Grey has kicked back, he has his head back and his eyes are closed. Turning back to Stephen, he nods at me with a cocky smile and heads for the cock pit.

As I walk over to Grey and take my seat, his eyes open "Is everything arranged?" he mutters miserably,

"Yes Sir" I answer efficiently, even though he can get to fuck, if he thinks I'm making any one of those phone calls,

"Good" he snaps closing his eyes once again, but I notice that his voice isn't as sharp as it could be, so I know he's still pretty cut up and obviously dreading going back home.

Good job where not going then isn't it? I think to myself, once again biting on my fist to contain my chuckle.

.

A/N

WE'RE NEARLY THERE DON'T WORRY...


	60. 60 Revealing All

A/N

NO MORE STRESS I PROMISE.

THANK YOU ALL FOR ENJOYING THIS AS MUCH AS I AM WRITING IT, I ALMOST DON'T WANT IT TO END...

I TOOK 'VANESSA GREY'S' ADVICE LAST NIGHT, AND FORFEIT SLEEP TO GET THIS OUT FOR YOU ALL, SO YOU HAVE HER TO THANK... BUT I HAVE SURPRISED MYSELF WITH THREE CHAPTERS IN THREE DAYS.

FOR THE GUEST REVIEWER "HERMIONE" WHO THINKS I'M STRINGING THIS OUT FOR REVIEWS... YOU ARE SO WRONG... I JUST NEED TO WORK AND SLEEP, SO I POST WHAT I CAN, WHEN I CAN, SO I DON'T LEAVE YOU HANGING FOR WEEKS ON END.

MAYBE YOU SHOULD STOP READING AND WASTING YOUR TIME WITH THIS, AS MY REVIEW STATS OBVIOUSLY INTEREST YOU MORE THAN MY STORY DOES...

ENJOY PEOPLE... WE ARE ONE STEP CLOSER...

A LINK TO ANA'S DRESS IS ON MY FB PAGE... DCOLIVER FANFICTION

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A

As I wander aimlessly around the huge opulent suite, it's a hive of activity. I glance around and take in all the people, that Kate has brought together to make this happen, and to help us celebrate. My mom, Kate's mom, Grace and Gail, are all lounging on the sofas, reveling in the joy of wedding vibes, because every woman loves a wedding. I don't know who is more excited though? But from here... I'd say Gail and Grace were neck and neck.

Elliot's loud booming belly laugh, brings my attention to the bar in the suite, that all the men seemed to have converged around. I smile as I notice my Dad and Carrick getting to know each other, Kate's Dad as always is busy on his phone, and Jose, Ethan and Elliot are having a blast, regaling stories about mine and Christan's youthful years. I roll my eyes and cringe, as I hear Jose telling them all about a bad tequila experience I had once, I shudder... Oh never again.

I smile lovingly and longingly at Christian's Grandparents, who are both in each others arms in a love seat, tucked away in a quiet corner having a siesta before the evening begins. My heart pounds, oh I hope Christian and I are still that happy in sixty years time, and I know in my heart that we will be... Well that's if he even makes it here, I think with a heavy sigh.

I turn and head towards the large window, easily ignoring the hustle and bustle of the strip below as my eyes just hold the sky. Right now he is on his way, he is high above the clouds in god only knows what state. I wonder if Taylor has explained things to him yet? And if he has... Will he still want to marry me?

I feel the uncertain butterflies, battling with the yearnful longing I have for him, and I can't believe I feel so despondent. I love him and can't deny how much I have missed him, but I'm so worried about him and his reaction to all of this. I yearn to see him, to hold him, to be near him, just to be able to talk to him, would mean so much at this point. But does he still feel the same way? He has been through so much this weekend... It could have changed everything...

I wrap my arms around myself comfortingly, then jump as I feel an arm wrap over my shoulder. I turn into the loving face of Grace, "You okay Ana?" she asks with a loving smile, I nod weakly with a small smile,

"I just miss Christian that's all... He should be here for all of this" I tell her honestly, my voice sounding wistful. Grace's arm pulls me closer, and her hand rubs my arm reassuringly,

"He soon will be don't worry" she murmurs softly,

"But what if..." I begin but her soft voice interrupts me,

"Ana... I don't know what has happened, I don't know why you're not with him but..." She begins, but I blurt out,

"Gia tried to split us up" I mutter quietly, trying to hold back the hatred from my tone,

"What?" Grace exclaims sounding stunned, I nod as I turn to face her. Her face has paled and if I'm not mistaken she looks angry, but her eyes question,

"It's not important now, I'll tell you later... But Christian was so angry and left without me" Grace just gapes at me, but I see her eyes burn, "I don't blame him for leaving... Not for a second... But what if... What if he's changed his mind about all of this?... I haven't spoken to him since Friday... He's been so upset, so alone... What if Christian..." My voice breaks and I feel the uncertain tears sting the back of my eyes. Grace turns to me and pulls me into a full hug, her soft voice sounds close to my ear,

"Ana please don't do this to yourself, my son loves you" she pulls back and looks at me, her hand lifts to brush away a stray tear, that I didn't even realize had fallen. Her eyes soften as she continues, "When Christian came home to tell us what he had planned, what he wanted to do... He was beside himself, he was the man that I have only ever seen with you... You complete him Ana, he said as much and I know it's true, you both love each other so much that it truly melts my heart, and I know he wants this more than anything, so don't fret... He will be here soon... And he'll want more than anything to marry you" I smile as her words sink in, and it only fuels my own need for this to happen even more.

I feel a tear run slowly down my cheek, and it mirrors the one on Grace's, we both chuckle, as we instinctively reach out to each other to sweep them away. We pull each other into a close hug and it feels so good.

"Thank you Grace" I whisper gratefully into her ear,

"No... Thank you my sweet, sweet girl" she gushes just as grateful.

The door of the suite bursts open suddenly, and our moment has passed. Mia storms into the suite pushing a clothes rack, which contains my dress and two bridesmaid dresses for Kate and Mia. She looks towards me and her face freezes,

"Oh God Ana... You've not even showered, we only have a couple of hours, come on you need to get ready" she squeals,

Kate follows close behind with a team of beauticians, I catch Kate's eye and she smiles sympathetically, knowing I hate all the fuss. The beauticians are led into the large dressing room, where they begin to set up, and then Kate takes over,

"Right... Mia, Grace, Gail, you take first beauty spots and get ready, while Ana and I shower and check out her dress" Mia squeals excitedly and grabbing an equally excited Gail, they head into the dressing room followed closely by Grace.

A bellhop enters pushing a rail of tuxedos, Elliot heads for them and takes the rail into a nearby bedroom, "Come on guys... Quicker where dressed... Quicker we can get this party started" he bellows, Kate rolls her eyes with a chuckle, as I just smile fondly after him.

Ethan and Jose head over and I hug and greet them both fondly, "It's so good to see you both" I enthuse excitedly,

"You too Steele, you look so good" Jose gushes as he hugs me,

"Thank you... I've missed you both" I state moving to hug Ethan, his arms wrap around me tightly as I hear him chuckle,

"So come on Ana... What did this rich, handsome, tycoon have that we didn't?" Ethan teases, and I play punch him in the arm,

"Oooww" he moans as he rubs his arm, "oops" Luke's training has obviously paid off in more respects than one,

"Oh Ethan stop... Thank you both so much for coming" I tell them honestly, these two guys are like the older brothers I never had, it wouldn't be the same without them here,

"Wouldn't be anywhere else Steele" Jose whispers,

"We will catch up later... I promise" I tell them both stepping away,

"Come on you guys" Elliot bellows and they head for the bedroom to get changed. I shake my head in awe, Christian really did think of everything.

Kate suddenly takes my hand and leads me to the master suite, pulling the clothes rail with her. As we enter the room, she closes the door as I sit down on the bed. I don't take my eyes off Kate, her face is ecstatic,

"You ready for this?" she asks, before pulling the dress bag forward and taking hold of the zip, she looks at me with expectant eyes,

"Did you choose this?" I ask, I have faith in Kate, my gala dress was perfect,

"No I haven't seen it either, Your dress is the only thing Christian was adamant about not needing my help with, he had it designed for you... Along with your wedding rings" she flushes a rare thing for Kate, "He ever chose your underwear" she chuckles, and I flush along with her at the thought.

"Ready?" Kate asks again, as her hand slowly pulls down the zip,

I gasp and head over as Kate pulls away the bag, I notice her eyes roll as she chuckles, "What is it with you two and red?" she mutters, I flush deeper and just ogle.

It's beautiful. My heart pounds as an excited shiver run right through me.

My dress is floor length, A line, it has a beautiful gathered bodice and the skirt is pleated and twisted at the front, leading to a wide train at the back. It's white silk, but it is oriented with the most beautiful red flower embroidery trim. The red detail weeps across the bodice to the back, to form a V at my lower back, and from the front the detail sweeps down and around the bottom of the dress, following the train all around. It's subtle and beautiful and totally Christian. The colour is our red and it's breathtaking. I stare in awe as my fingers brush the soft fabric,

"Christian chose this?" I question feeling astounded,

"Yes, he designed it and the bridesmaids dresses" Kate tells me proudly as she pulls down the zips on the other dress bags. She laughs loudly rolling her eyes, at the two deep red chiffon strapless dresses. Like mine they are floor length, have subtly gathered bodices, are gathered at the hip and sweep around, they have a subtle two inch beading around the top of the bodice the mirror image of mine but in a white embroidered trim, I smile as they are amazing, Christian has outdone himself,

"Where are the rings?" I ask, eager to see what he came up with for those, Kate shakes her head looking apologetic, I frown in disappointment,

"Taylor has them, they were designed and made at Tiffany's in New York, so Taylor picked them up yesterday, even before seeing the CCTV footage" I just stare at her, I'm gobsmacked. Christian has done so much, over such a short amount of time and I didn't even have a clue, even with all of Elliot's, not so subtle hints. I look at Kate and just shake my head in amazement,

"How could you keep this secret and arranged everything so quickly?" I gush totally impressed,

"There really is nothing Christian can't do once he sets his mind to it, and the hotel where most accommodating, your reception is downstairs, he has acquired one of the restaurants for the evening. He arranged all the flowers, your cake, finalized all the menus, hired a band, a pianist, designed all the decor... Everything, he also has a few surprises" her eyes twinkle, she's as impressed as I am, I just stare at her flabbergasted. Then a thought hits,

"Why are we not crawling with press?" I ask,

"Everyone involved, from jewelers, to designers, chefs, drivers, to hotel staff, have all been promised a bonus, if this doesn't get out, and of course they agreed, a Grey mention and recommendation, is worth more than any tabloid can pay. I will be doing a piece for the paper tomorrow announcing your marriage and a sub piece about the Gia skag, and hopefully it will ensure you peace and quiet while you're away, Christian has agreed do a press conference when you both get back, but only if you aren't bothered..." she continues but I'm not listening, I'm mumbling,

"Away?" I mumble again, Kate smiles lovingly,

"You didn't think Christian would miss out on a honeymoon did you, god I think that's the point of all this for him... Any excuse to get you alone for a few more weeks, I think he's missing the solitude you two had in the Fairmount" I bite my lip recalling our time and if that's what he has planned... I would be more than happy,

"Where are we going?" I ask totally intrigued, Kate once again looks apologetic,

"Christian wouldn't say, he wants it to be a surprise" I shake my head, as I'm once again overwhelmed by the thought and consideration he has put into every little detail. I feel my heart melt and yearn for him.

"What was he like Kate?" I whisper, still feeling totally blown away,

"What do you mean?" Kate asks with a frown,

"When he was planning all of this" I clarify as Kate chuckles rolling her eyes,

"Ana, you wouldn't believe it... For years I have wanted to meet him, to interview him, to find out about the man behind the rock that is... No, that was Christian Grey. I have spent more time with him over these past few days, and in Grey House no less, one of the most powerful buildings in Seattle, than I ever thought possible... But did we talk about mergers, power struggles, or profit margins... No, we argued over napkin colours and calligraphy" Kate chuckles as my eyebrows shoot up in wonder "You'll find out soon enough" she chuckles louder, then smiles, "My point is Ana... The man I wanted to meet, the man the world knew... Is no more, you have picked him up, shook him about and all the pieces of him... Have just realigned. He has changed completely on every level, and not only his family are thankful for that" Kate's voice holds admiration,

I smile thinking of how happy Grace, Gail, Andrea, Mia, and countless other people really are, because he's happy with me and I feel my chest swell with pride for the man that he is. The man that he has always been. It was buried deep but I dug, and I found the true man buried under all his baggage, and I love him so much,

"He'll still wanna do this then?" I ask with a giggle,

"Ana... He loves you so much, I'm surprised he hasn't turned up already" Kate teases, but she looks at me squarely, "Don't doubt for a minute that Christian won't still want this... No amount of drowning his sorrows, can erase the feeling he has for you" she steps towards me and pulls me into a hug. Her words squash all my needless doubts. Thankfully.

I hold her tightly so thankful for all of her help, "Thank you Kate" I say as I squeeze,

"You're welcome, you both are... Just don't forget my R8, now stop stalling, you need to shower and get ready" I giggle, my aversion to all things pampering still applies even on a day like this. Kate's face turns compassionate, "Ana... His flight is on schedule, you will be with him in less than two hours... So come on lets get you ready" I smile as she hands me a box containing my underwear. I peek inside and flush excitedly, as I take in the sheer white lace Basque and stockings. My flush deepens as I see the smallest pair of lace briefs, that I have ever seen, Kate just chuckles and nudges me along towards the bathroom,

"Go" she urges playfully,

I head for the shower blindly, my mind swimming in awe.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx T

Twenty minutes into the flight and Grey buggered off to his cabin. So it's been plane sailing or flying, same diff, ever since. Stephen has been briefed and we land in Vegas in just over an hour. So that gives me just enough time to inform Grey, sort him out and calm him down. He looks like crap... But hopefully sleep, food and a decent tux will help Ana see what she fell for...

But first I have to wake him... And show him... Oh fuck... Why did we have to be on a plane?.

I rap my knuckles loudly on the cabin door, nothing. Again, only slightly harder this time. "Sir" I add with my third, much louder rap on the door, and joy... We have life...

"Fuck off Taylor" Grey mumbles as I shake my head with a chuckle, will he never get tired of saying that? I open the door and step inside closing it quickly behind me, let's keep the destruction once again confined shall we. I hang his suit bag on the back of the door and approach the bed cautiously.

"With all due respect Sir" I say ignoring his scowl at my entrance, "I need to have a word with you before we land" and of course he cuts me off,

"I don't want to hear it Taylor" he growls, while climbing off the bed and heading to the fridge. I frown, Fuck no... He isn't getting pissed again.

"Sit the fuck down Sir... And no more booze" I snap, "You've wallowed enough" I add, he spins to face me holding a bottle of fresh orange juice. And I can tell that he's fuming,

"How dare you?" he snarls at me,

I take a breath and steady myself, it's time to face this... Bring on the beast, "Yes Sir... I dare, I need to speak to you about Ana" I add purposefully, I see his whole body freeze as he glares at me,

"No Taylor" he shouts, right into my face, the cheeky fucker. As my eyebrows lift he at least has the grace to look remorseful, "Please Taylor, don't even say her name" he mumbles, dropping to sit heavily onto the bed, God where is your backbone you sap. Hiding the roll of my eyes, I breathe and continue.

"Sir... I know what has happened between you both" his eyes shoot to mine, sad, shameful then angry eyes, hold mine,

"Taylor, what has gone on between Ana and myself... Is none of your concern, you don't have an opinion on this, that I wish to hear, so kindly leave and..." his depressed voice preaches, but I interrupt him, no opinion my arse,

"With respect, Sir... Shut the fuck up" I tell him with a frustrated huff, and oh fuck, his face is a picture as my words sink in. Shit I'd better hurry, before he lamps me one, "If you don't want to fuck this up, any more than you already have... And lose her completely, you will listen to what I have to say" I tell him sternly. His eyebrows raise as he glares at me,

"And why in the fuck should I listen... Nothing you could possibly say, can excuse what she has done" he spits out petulantly,

"She hasn't done anything Sir... Ana loves you" I add for extra leverage, not that it's needed, but I'd like to keep all my appendages,

"You know nothing Taylor... I saw it with my own two eyes" his voice plummets as the emotions run through him, and even I can see he's heartbroken,

"No Sir... You saw what somebody wanted you to see" I tell him calmly, hoping he'll follow suit,

"What?" he asks with a gasp, holding my eye eagerly and if I'm not wrong... He seems relieved,

"Sir you were played... I have seen the entire footage of those photos you were sent and well... It's not quite what it seems" and what the fuck he'll do, once he knows the full story is anyone's guess. I move my arm and instantly feel reassured, comforted by the fact that I'm wearing my gun,

"Taylor... Ana was kissing someone else, how could it not be what it seems?" his voice suddenly doesn't hold the hope, that he longed for earlier,

"I know how it looks Sir... But they were taking out of context" I finally inform him, and I see the change in his immediately,

"Who sent me those pictures?" he growls. Oh fuck... Run, bitch run,

"It was Gia Matteo Sir... Ana never cheated on you, she didn't... I can assure you" I add as his eyes widen instantly, and the hope returning to his face, causes even my heart to melt,

"How?... What?" he mumbles, looking up at me helplessly,

"Sir... Before I give you all the details of what has gone on... You have to remember where we are... You must stay calm" I tell him with conviction,

"Just tell me Taylor... Now" he shouts, I cock an eyebrow because I ain't risking all our lives for another Grey bitch fit,

"Fine... Fine, I will remain calm" he states, but I know him of old.

"I will restrain you" I pledge and we both hold a stare for what feels like minutes, until he nods minutely and I slowly hand over my phone.

I watch his face closely as he watches the footage, and as his knuckles turn white and his breathing deepens, I place my palms on his shoulders and sit him on the bed, his eyes rise to mine and there burning.

His face twists so much with anger, that he's almost unrecognizable, "I'm going to fucking kill him... And destroy that evil conniving bitch" he promises angrily, I nod in agreement,

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" he snaps looking up at me with angry eyes,

"What, so you could implode?... We couldn't get home any sooner Sir, with the high winds in Seattle a lot of planes have been grounded, and I knew Ana was safe and fine... So there was no urgency and you being a dick with a bottle, is better than you being a caged Tasmanian devil, you couldn't have done anything... We couldn't get home Sir" I pacify, and he slumps in on himself, feeling helpless no doubt,

"We could have driven" he mumbles, replaying the footage once again and he tenses before my very eyes,

"Sir... No offense, but a road trip with the Grey pressure cooker... Was not my idea of fun. I'm sorry Sir, for keeping you in the dark... But this was the only way" I tell him truthfully,

"You're right" he mumbles looking back at the phone, "I am going to kill him" he growls again, my hand rests once again on his shoulder, trying to keep him seated. I can feel the power of him like a coiled spring under my hand, and I quickly try and calm him,

"As you can see Sir, the scenario was quite different from what you originally thought, but your reaction was understandable... But now we need to get home, you need to see Ana... Make sure she's okay" he looks up at me then back down at my phone.

"Forget that prick for now... Ana must be quite shaken, she will need you now" I add, knowing thinking of Ana will calm him. His eyes flash to mine as a stream of emotions flood across his face, I see anger, hope, Sadness, shame, and finally guilt,

"I need to get home Taylor" he mutters quietly as I feel his body slump. And I thankfully release his shoulder.

A/N ONE MORE... THEN WE CAN FEEL THE LOVE... ;)


	61. 61 Getting Ready

A/N

HI ALL,  
TO ALL OLD AND NEW FOLLOWERS... THANK YOU... YOUR SUPPORT ON THIS AS ALWAYS IS SO APPRECIATED,  
AND AS A THANK YOU... I BLEW OFF WORK TODAY TO WRITE THIS CHAPTER.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A

As I leave the bedroom and walk into the suite to a gaggle of oohs and aarrhhs, I can't help but take hold of my dress and spin around, I feel amazing and I look beautiful, this dress is just perfect and fits me like a glove. I add the touch of a blush that I need, as I realize that Christian knows the shape of my body so well. I bite down on my lip and my eyes hood, as I start to think of him. God I do hope he wants to peel me out of this underwear later.

My Mom halts my horney thoughts as she pulls me into her arms, tears are streaming unhindered down her face, "Oh baby girl, you look so beautiful" she gushes stepping back to look at me properly. Kate appears next to me looking stunning in her dress,

"Thanks Mom, I feel beautiful" I tell her with a giggle, "Kate are you okay?" I ask as she blows her nose,

"Of course Steele... But you do look good" she mumbles into her tissue, I smile brightly,

"So do you... You suit red" I wink as Kate grins. I smile wider as Grace and Mia cross the room,

"Oh god Ana you look... Look..." she just stares at me stunned and Kate and Grace giggle, my eyebrows rise in amazement, has Mia ever been speechless before?

I step towards her and hug her close, and feel her overwhelmed tears dampen my neck, "Oh Ana thank you for loving my brother" she whispers,

"Oh my pleasure Mia" I breathe into her hair. I catch Grace's eye and I know she wants a word, Kate sees it too,

"Come on you two... Let's go and fix our soppy faces" Kate teases while leading Mia and my Mom into the bathroom.

Grace step forward and hugs me tightly, "Good luck, you wonderful girl" she breathes into my neck as I pull her closer,

"You don't think we're rushing do you?" I whisper in her ear, she pulls away but still holds me, her face beams,

"Yes... But only the inevitable, he loves you Ana, you calm him, have healed him... I can never thank you enough for what you have done for him... For all of us, you gave me my son, you have helped heel years of damage caused by that..." I notice Grace takes a breath to calm herself, at the thought of that woman,

"How have you been?" I ask,

"I went and saw her" she mutters as my eyes widen, oh I bet that went well, "I slapped her and well... I have also spoken to Flynn which has helped, apparently Christian always told Flynn to talk to me, if ever any of this came out and we abandoned him, as I we would... I still hate it and it makes me so aarrgg... Oh yes Flynn also recommended that I see an anger management coach" and the laughter bellows, of all the people in anger management Grace should never be one of them, she looks sheepish but her anger is just, so I won't hold it against her,

"Thank you Grace... We wouldn't be here, if it wasn't for you" I state gratefully,

"Or Mia or Kate or Ell" Grace affirms and I smile as the whole family has done so much for us. Carrick approaches taking his wife's hand,

"It's nearly time to leave" he whispers and his smile widens as he takes me in, "Oh Ana, you look beautiful, Christian did you proud" he steps into me and hugs me,

"Thank you" I reply, as I pull away I step away and bite my lip, looking up at him nervously, "Carrick can I to speak to you?" I ask quietly,

"Of course" he states leading us over to a quiet corner, as Grace heads over to Gail. As I turn to him my mind races, how on earth do I start this?

"I know you're a lawyer and I'm not sure how all this works... But Christian is very affluent, and I don't want to risk that in any way... Not that I don't love him and this isn't going to work... But what do I do about a pre-nup? I don't want his money, what should..." Carrick looks at me with soft eyes and chuckles,

"It's not needed my sweet girl, Christian has already drawn up papers, the minute you're Mrs Christian Grey, you get half of everything" he states matter of fact, I feel my eyes bulge as my stomach flips,

"What?" I mumble as Carrick chuckles,

"Ana pay it no mind, the money isn't important" he kisses my cheek swiftly and takes my hand, I feel myself nodding just totally flabbergasted,

"I don't want his money" I mumble as he leads me further into the room.

.  
As we enter the heart of the suite, I notice my Dad on his own by the bar, looking anywhere but at me. I sweep over still feeling totally amazing in my dress.

"Hi Dad" I sing song at him as I twirl in my dress, he chuckles softly,

"Hi baby, you look stunning" he mutters,

"You look so handsome" I tell him as I straighten his tie,

"Bloody monkey suit" he mumbles, as I step in to hug him, he hugs me back stiffly feeling a little uncomfortable, I lighten things by teasing,

"I believe you went in a helicopter?"

"He's not winning me over that easy" Dad grumbles but can't hide his smile, "Are you sure about this Annie, it's all very sudden" he asks obviously still a bit dubious,

"Definitely Dad, he means the world to me" I tell him truthfully with loved up eyes, the buzz of all of this and thinking about Christian has me melting,

"He seems like a pretty decent chap... He knows his fishing" he states sounding impressed,

"He is, you'll love him I promise, because I do Dad" I gush,

"If he hurts you... I will shoot his arse, no matter how many suits he has around him" he states sounding determined, and I giggle happily, knowing that's as good a blessing as any from my Dad,

"I know you will dad... And thank you" I throw my arms around his neck and hug him tight,

"Any time kid... Love you Annie" he whispers into my neck,

"Love you too dad".

I feel a warn arm rest across my back and turn slightly to find Kate hugging me and my Dad, her eyes still glisten with her joyous tears,

"Come on you two, we need to leave, the cars are down stairs and Christian is making good time, he will be landing soon" her soft voice whispers close to our ears, we all step back and face each other, "You ready Ana?" she asks, all bright n teary eyed, I nod eagerly, "Come on then, let's go and get you married" and as Kate grabs my hand and starts to lead me to the door, the butterflies hit... Oh my... I'm finally going to see him... And hopefully get married...

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx C

As I sit on the bed my heart is at my feet, I can't believe how this has all panned out, I thought my world was over, thought I'd lost her... But all along she needed me. She was hurt, upset, and I left her to cope with all of this alone, thank god she had Kate and Sawyer with her, because I've let her down... Badly... And I have never felt more disgusted with myself.

I replay the footage on Taylor's phone once again and my blood boils, "I need to get home Taylor" I repeat loudly.

As my eyes take in her encounter, I feel the bile rise in my throat and my fist clenches once again around the phone. I never thought for an instance that those pictures I saw and broke my heart over, could have led to this, of all the explanations I expected to hear, self preservation wasn't one of them... Oh Ana baby... What has he done to you?... I will...

"As soon as we land Taylor I'm going to that hotel, I'm going to fucking string that bastard up... How dare he lay his hands on Ana like that... He'll have no fucking hands by the time I've finished with him, or a fucking pot to piss in" I growl with conviction.

Taylor remains silent and I glance up at him, his face shows his understanding as he listens to my rant, but he shakes his head slowly and once again places his hands on my shoulders. I take deep calming breaths while looking up at him, holding his eye contact I concentrate, willing myself to ease the flood of rage that is burning rapidly right through me. I'm so torn. I know Taylor is right and this bastard can wait, but... I have to sort this, I need to seek some type of justice for Ana... And appease my own shame for not being there to help her,

"Sir, let's prioritize, Ana is more important right now, we can deal with this Clifton piece of crap later" I nod as Taylor's words sink in, "Ana needs you Sir... She will be waiting for you, and she needs you calm" Taylor says pointedly, and I feel my eyes cloud as my mind swirls.

I need to see her, I need to know that she's okay... That he never hurt her in any way. But... Oh Ana... When I think of the last time I saw her and how I spoke to her, the wave of guilt that floods through me is blinding and sends my pulse racing. I lurch forward and hold onto my knees, my eyes rise to Taylor's hopefully, "Will she Taylor? Will she want to see me? How could she possibly, after the way I've treated her? Surely she will hate me for leaving her?... She won't want to see me" My voice breaks shamefully, and I know I have tears in my eyes, Taylor pats my shoulder comfortingly with a small smile,

"Sir Ana is fine... Yes, you were a dick for running" Taylor states and I nod in agreement as we both know he's right, "You should have hung around to confront her... But sir, those pictures were very convincing... Even I thought at first they were true" Taylor takes the bottle of orange juice that I'm still holding in my other hand, opens it and passes it back to me, I swig the bottle automatically as he continues, "After speaking to Ana, and finding out what really happened, I knew we could sort this, and with Welch's help we obtained the full footage and proof that I knew you needed" I look up at Taylor as his voice softens, "Sir you're worrying about all the wrong things, Ana loves you... She has missed you Sir... She has been very worried about you by all accounts" Taylor mutters trying to comfort, but that just makes me feel worse.

Not only, did I desert her when she needed me most, but now, I also know that she's been suffering all weekend, missing and worrying about me. If she felt half as bad as I did, she should never of had to go through that, and it's all my fault. Oh... How could I have been so stupid, so selfish, so weak.

"Have you spoken to her Taylor?" I ask with desperation,

"Yes Sir... I've spoken to her a couple of times" I feel my eyes burn into his, eager for information, Taylor smirks, "She wanted to speak to you too... But I didn't think you were in any fit state" I nod shamefully, so she knows I fell apart, she now knows what type of man I really am.

"Oh Taylor" I can't help mumble, "How did she seem?" I ask urgently,

"Ana has been okay, she was initially a little upset of course but she's had Kate for emotional support, and Sawyer has not left her side for an instant... Everything will be fine once you're home... I know she is very eager for your return Sir... She will be waiting for you?" he states adamantly, with a knowing grin on his face, but I can't help my frown.

Suddenly there is a quiet tap on the bedroom door and Taylor immediately heads over to answer it. He opens the door and takes a plate of food from the stewardess, "Thank you" I hear him mutter, but once again I'm transfixed with the phone in my hand. Taylor places the food next to me,

"Eat" he orders, and I blindly start to eat the sandwiches.

Watching this Sam Clifton pawing my Ana, trying to take advantage of her, has my skin crawling and my inner rage burning. How could he treat her like that? How could he disrespect her in such a way? I sigh a heavy relieved sigh, as I watch Ana punch him and floor him. The pride and relief I feel is immense but so unsettling, I'm so angry... Yet so proud, it's an unsettling balance. Suddenly it occurs to me as I watch her reaction,

"Sawyer did this" I state as I wave the phone at Taylor,

"What do you mean?" Taylor snaps instantly on the defensive, but he doesn't understand,

"Sawyer... He taught her how to protect herself... If he hadn't of spent time with her, this Clifton would have..." my voice trails away as this scenario comes to mind, with a very different outcome and I feel sick to my stomach. Even to me, with my previous warped tastes, intimidation and force is never right,

"I know Sir" Taylor mumbles in understanding, his voice holding my own inner fears, and I see the relief in him as we lock eyes,

"Thank you Taylor, you made a good choice in hiring Sawyer... I will be forever grateful to you both" I tell him sincerely, and I feel my mood plummet further. I was so jealous of Sawyer, felt so threatened by him, and yet he saved her, he did what I couldn't,

"I know Sir, but let's not dwell, it never happened, Ana is safe and sound, and you will see her soon enough, she just wants you home" he states, "Eat" he encourages nodding to my plate, I comply automatically,

"I can't believe how she could still love me after all of this... I don't deserve her Taylor..." I mutter in between bites, Taylor chuckles and starts to busy himself routing through my hold all,

"I know Sir... She must have the patience of a saint, you've been acting like a right dick" he chuckles louder as he approaches me,

"Whatever can I do to appease her, to make this right with her?" I ask eagerly, hoping for some sound advice, he hands me a towel and my shaving kit,

"How about showering and shaving for a start, you look like death and it's not long until we land... So you need to get ready, I'll sort out your suit" he stands back allowing me to stand, then he ushers me into the bathroom.

As I enter the bathroom, I catch sight of myself in the mirror and I'm taken aback, Christ... I do look like death. It's amazing what can happen in 48 hours, my skin looks gaunt and sallow, I have dark circles under my eyes and three day stubble does me no favors. I rest my hands on the sink and just stare at myself in the mirror. My hair is lank, my eyes look dead, and the world and his dog will know instantly, that I've wore my heart on my sleeve for the past three days, shame and anger once again start battling within me. Will she even want me when she sees me looking like this?

Taking a deep determined breath, I strip off my clothes and head for the shower. As I stand under the water and begin to wash, my mind once again races. I find my inner strength and cling to it with all that I am... I will prove myself to her, I will make all of this right... I have so much to make up for... I will give her anything she wishes, take her anywhere she wants to go...

No... No...

My Ana wouldn't want any of that... She will want dinner in front of the fire, and time for us in bed, and I will... I stay in bed with her until she forgives me, and I feel my body pine at the thought. Will she ever let me near her again? How can she possibly forgive me after what I thought of her? Oh God forgive me... What she must think of me. She knows I doubted her, she knows I believed those photos... How will she ever trust me now?

My head falls into my hands as the water pelts down on my head, I hold back the sob that wants to escape, because I knew... I always knew, that I would fuck it up eventually.

My confusion swirls because Taylor seems confident that her feelings remain the same, that despite my hurting her, she still loves me... But how can he be so sure? How does he know?

But I don't care... I'm going to cling to it anyway. I know I still want her more than anything, I need her with me, this weekend has proven that to me ten fold. Before all of this happened she was mine, without a doubt in my mind, so hopefully Taylor's right and my unforgivable reaction to all of this, can be overlooked. Maybe once I explain she might... No she will, I know she will... She's missed me, and even though I tried to drown my feelings with alcohol... I missed her desperately. I love her and she loves me.

Suddenly I'm overcome and I want to go home. I need to see her. As I step out the shower, I quickly towel dry and begin to shave. Just as I have finished, Taylor knocks and enters carrying my clothes and it hits me... Hard.

"Ana is still at Escala isn't she Taylor" I ask dubiously, what will I do if she's gone? I ordered her away,

"What Sir" Taylor mumbles while laying out my clothes,

"Ana hasn't gone home has she?" I ask in a somber voice,

"No Sir... I can assure you that Ana is not at home" he turns away from me but I hear the humor in his voice, I see his smile in the mirror,

"So you never called Sawyer then?" I ask and the relief in my tone is unmissable,

"No Sir" Taylor states as he turns to face me,

"Thank you Taylor" I breathe easy,

"Your welcome Sir" he says with a small smile, "Now please get dressed... We're cutting it fine", he now snaps with a nod,

I dress automatically in what ever Taylor hands me, not paying him a blind bit of notice, my mind is still streaming. See... This is why I need Ana, I think as I pull on my shorts and socks... She calms everything about me, I realize as I pull on my trousers and shirt... I am lost without her, I admit to myself as I put on my dress shoes and jacket. As Taylor hands me my bow tie, I just shove it into my pocket and turn towards the mirror. My eyes look brighter, my skin has a bit more colour and my hair is its usual just fucked self, but I feel better. I need her... I want her... I love her... And I will make her want the same. She loved me once... Surly she can again?

I turn to Taylor with more fortitude than I have felt in a long time, he smiles as he appraises me. "You look a lot better Sir" he confirms and I let out a deep anxious breath,

"How long before we land?" I ask in earnest, closing up my jacket and grabbing my phone and keys,

"About fifteen minutes, so we better take our seats" he gathers my things and we head for the door.

.  
As soon as the wheels touch down and we're on the ground crawling to the hanger, I instantly call Ana. My hope and stomach fall as I get no answer, I try again but still just constant ringing. I feel the anxiety rush through me and I don't know what to think... I need a distraction till I'm on the road. I open my phone and call Welch.

"Find everything you can on Samuel Clifton" I growl into the phone as soon as it's answered,

"Business or pleasure Sir" Welch teases,

"Revenge" is the only word that leaves me,

"I'm already on it... I'm guessing you finally saw the CCTV footage" he asks cautiously,

"I did" I growl "And no one does that to Ana... I want every dirty secret he's ever buried, use as many men and techs as you need" I order, Welch's tone turn repugnant,

"He definitely has a lot to hide", I hear the sneer in his voice, "He has a lot of sub companies and offshore accounts, I've been following his dirty money trails and we have a few solid leads. He has greased a lot of palms to get where he is today... And Sir... On a more personal level, a lot of his female staff tend not to last for very long, there has been a few complaints made against him, but nothing has ever stuck", I hear Welch's sigh, and I know what he's thinking... Ana was one of the lucky ones, and it enrages me once more,

"I want everything you have on him, go back all the way, keep digging, I want that string of hotels of his... So I can burn them to the ground", I take a deep breath as my fingers rake my scalp.

"Will do Sir... He seems a right bastard on the sly" Welch states, "So do your worst Sir,"

"Welch... If I had been in Seattle, I would be up on a murder charge, I want to hurt him" I growl but surprisingly, I hear Welch chuckle in my ear,

"I think Miss Steele took care of that" he says and I smile despite myself, "How is Ana Sir" he asks, my heart sinks and my anxiety creeps back,

"I haven't spoken to her yet... I'm heading home now," I tell him sounding dejected.

My mind starts again... That's if she will even speak to me... Why did she not pick up my call? Can she ever forgive me for how I treated her? I ran from her when she needed me most... She must have been so so scared because he...

"Sir... If I may say, she seems nice" Welch interrupts my brood,

"Thank you Welch she is... Now get digging" I tell him adamantly and I hang up the phone.

I turn towards Taylor, "That Clifton guy is pure dirt I'm gonna..." and I unbuckle my seat belt and stand. Taylor follows suit and stands in front of me blocking the aisle,

"Right Sir... Forget Clifton and that Gia witch and all this shit for now, we need..." Taylor instructs but I'm not listening. I forgot about fucking Gia, she is the cause of all this, she did this on purpose to spite us, to hurt us, to break us up... She makes my fucking skin crawl,

"I'm gonna ruin her" I growl at Taylor, he chuckles digging about in his pocket,

"No need Sir" he retorts, "Ana sorted it... Look",

Taylor hands me his phone and my jaw hits the floor. What the fuck is that woman doing rummaging around in my office? How fucking dare she... Oh for fuck's sake, that woman is crazy... Can't she take a bastard hint... Oh god... My face screws up at the sight of her, sprawled about in her tacky underwear.

"Well... I will have to get a new fuckin chair, that's for sure" I mutter then gasp, as I see Ana enter the room, "Wow... She has a good right hook" I chuckle as Gia's face flames.

I laugh heartily for the first time in days as I watch Ana throw her out, and it feels so good... Oh go my little bunny, I praise internally and I feel my heart and surprisingly my cock throb at the sight of her. Ana looks so beautiful, all riled up and fueled with passion... She is so strong... God I've missed her so much...

This is the first time I've seen her and she looks the same, she is so much stronger than she looks. My chest physically hurts suddenly, and I pause the phone on the clip of Ana and Kate hugging after Gia's departure and it pains me to see how hurt she is. Even though she seemed so brave seeing Gia off... She was still upset. Oh Ana, I'm sorry baby...

I feel the blinding rage sweep over me again and my fists clench, "I'm still gonna... Taylor I want..." he cuts me off and once again takes hold of my shoulders, I look surprised at his touch but he doesn't remove his hands. He shakes me suddenly bringing my eyes to his,

"Forget all this crap for now... Do you hear me? Forget it... We can deal with it soon enough, they're not going anywhere... You need to think of Ana... Focus on Ana, do you hear me" he asks, my mind starts to clear as his words and actions sink in, and he's right... Ana is my number one priority right now,

"Do you hear me?" he repeats

"Yes... Yes I do" I mumble taking a deep breath, and trying to regain all my focus. I hold my head high as I prepare to leave the jet, with only one thought running through my head,

Oh Ana... Please forgive me baby...

.

A/N

I'M WORKING FOR THE REST OF THE WEEK BUT PROMISE TO POST ASAP.


	62. 62 Will You Marry Me ?

A/N

I BLEW OFF WORK AGAIN TODAY... :)

HOW YOU ASK... WELL I'M A SELF EMPLOYED DECORATOR, AND MY OWN WILLPOWER GETS ME TO WORK, BUT LATELY WRITING SEEMS MORE IMPORTANT THAN PAINTING AND PAPERING WALLS...

ENJOY PEOPLE... IT'S WHAT YOU HAVE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR... I HOPE IT DOESN'T DISSAPPOINT..

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A

As we leave the hotel and head out once again in the glass top limousines, I am nestled in between Kate and my Dad. Grace, Carrick, mia, Ell and Christian's now fully recharged Grandparents, are all traveling with me, everyone else is convoying behind. The car is filled with a different vibe from earlier, gone is the excitement of the bright lights and the buzz of new surroundings, now it's filled with a nervous expectation, that only Kate and I seem to be fully aware of.

My eyes hold the sky as the car travels along, and I pray to god he lands safely. I feel Kate squeeze my hand, as she realizes where my thoughts lie, but I don't react, my mind just wanders. I hope Taylor has explained everything and Christian now understands what really happened, he's going to be so angry, so hurt, so remorseful... So confused.

I just want him here with me, I don't care what we've been through, don't care how all of this came about. Christian wanted this wedding, he wanted to marry me, I just hope and pray nothing has changed that.

As we pull up outside the chapel, an usher opens the car door and greets us with a warm welcome, Kate goes into autopilot and immediately starts to take over. I stand to one side still close to my dad, and just take in the surrounding scene. Christian's entire family are more than excited, it's plain to see how much all of this means to each and every one of them, and I feel it too, I know what the change in Christian has meant to these people, and I hope this all goes smoothly.

Until I actually set eyes on Christian, I won't know how this will go, I need to see him, to read him, to feel him, to know how he will truly react. He will either be so angry and hurt that he won't even show up, or he will be over the moon, and I will get my wish and have Christian in my life forever... And I want that more than anything.

"Shall we have a peep inside?" I ask my dad as a distraction for both of us, me from my musings and my dad who still looks a little out of place. He nods eagerly, takes my hand and we head through the archway of the little white chapel. As I step inside I gasp,

"Wow" I hear my Dad murmur, I just nod numbly, my eyes roaming everywhere.

The small white chapel is subtly lit, jasmine candles sit on every available surface, and little white twinkling lights hang from everything they can. Garlands of fresh flowers including my favorite sweet smelling jasmine, swag from the ceiling at equally spaced intervals, they swag along the pews framing the aisle, and drape from the small white altar, rounding everything off. The floor is covered in red and cream rose petals and the place smells utterly amazing, and looks absolutely wonderful.

Sitting on a table near the door, is a large clear topped box containing an array of flowers, two small cream rose poses, sit next to my bouquet, which is a heart shaped cluster of cream and red roses. A collection of small perfectly formed cream roses, each with two perfectly shaped leaves form all the button holes. I gape open mouthed... I can't believe Christian did all of this.

I notice a pianist is the corner of the room warming up, and she smiles at me politely as I catch her eye. The registrar and an usher busy themselves with last minute preparations, and my heart starts to flutter as my nerves kick in.

"He's certainly pushed the boat out Annie" my dad says in awe, while still standing beside me. I nod in agreement and can't contain my smile.

Kate suddenly runs into the chapel, "There you are" she gushes breathlessly, "I've been looking everywhere for you, I thought you'd done a runner" she teases, "We need to be outside, Taylor just one belled my phone, they've just left the airfield, so Christian will be here in ten minutes" she states efficiently, "So come on" I gulp nervously, as Kate giggles she takes my hand and pulls me back out of the chapel.

As I step outside, everyone is eagerly awaiting Christian's arrival, I'm pulled from my Dad and passed around in a last minute hug and appraising Fest, but my mind is wandering. In ten minutes he will be here... I have ten minutes before my life changes forever... I will either be heartbroken or joyously happy for this moment on, and my stomach flips, twists and knots at that realization.

The minutes tick down and I find myself shuffled to the front of every one, with Kate firmly by my side. She pulls me into a last minute hug, "Don't worry Ana everything will be perfect, a one bell from Taylor is good, he said he would text if there was any problems, so don't worry, Christian will be here" a relieved sigh rushes from my lungs, as I hear the wheels of the SUV on the gravel behind me.

I pull free from kate automatically and turn to face the car, my heart is pounding, my knees are trembling, and as the door of the car swings open and Christian steps out, our eyes instantly lock.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx C

As the jet finally comes to a stop in the hanger, I'm heading for the door, "Come on, come on, come on" I mumble to a group of bemused looking crew. Stephen finally gives the all clear for the doors to be opened, and the crew starts to meander towards the door but the're not quick enough, "Move" I snap, as I stride past them and quickly pull open the door with a flourish.

As I run down the jet steps I head straight for the SUV "Taylor, leave the luggage, lets just go... I need to get home and see Ana now" I shout, but my urgent demand or yelling isn't needed, as he's right on my heel,

"Yes Sir" he replies with a smirk and a chuckle from close behind me, as we both jump into the SUV.

As the SUV leaves the hanger, I immediately pull out my phone and speed dial pressing 'one'. I need to hear her voice, talk to her, console her... Apologize to her. My brow furrows deeply and my heart starts to pound, as her number just rings and rings... Why isn't she answering her phone? Has she changed her number? My stomach churns at the thought.

I try calling her again, but this time I key in her number with slow precise fingers, making sure there is no doubt or mistake that it's her number I'm calling, but still no joy. I catch sight of Ana's beautiful smiling face on my screen saver, as the call cuts off and I'm lost in her beauty. I scroll through our boat trip photos and yearn to be close to her... I need to be. Taking a deep breath to curb my anxiety, I try calling once again but all my hope plummets, as I hang up yet another ignored call.

I scroll quickly through my contacts and call Saywer, but once again the ringing goes uninterrupted in my ear. Panic starts to nip at my heels as I scroll once again, and discover that Kate and Elliot's mobiles are also both switched off. What the fuck... Where is everyone? Surely someone must have their phone? As I scroll and ponder on who to call next, I catch Taylor's eye in the mirror,

"Taylor... I can't contact anyone, what the fuck is going on?" he shrugs as he averts his eyes back to the road, and mine drop back down to my phone.

Once again I'm caught up in her glorious smile, as my mind just screams at me. Fuck... Maybe she's had second thoughts... She must of finally realized, what a selfish prick I've been... And ran.

My heart falls and my palms start to sweat at that terrifying thought. I feel the car stop and my eyes shoot up to plead with Taylor for answers,

"Taylor I can't reach her" I mutter desperately, "I thought Ana wanted to see me... I thought she would still be here..." my depressed voice drifts off,

"She is Sir" Taylor state with a wide grin, as he cocks his head and looks to the left.

I follow his gaze and there she is. She has her back to me as she's hugging Kate, but I'd recognize her anywhere.

I take her all in, relishing in the sight of her and realize she is wearing a long cape coat, that I recognize as belonging to Mia. Her hair is twisted into a soft bun and loose tresses fall around her neck, even from the back she looks beautiful. She turns to face me suddenly with wide cautious eyes, and my heart pounds in my chest, I can hear it loud in my ears. I sigh with instant relief, thankful that she is actually here as I jump out of the SUV.

As my eyes lock instantly with hers, my feet instinctively move. I run towards her and meet her half way and pull her in close to my chest, basking instantly in the feeling of warmth I can only obtain with her. I'm sure I spin her around and round in my arms as she giggles against me, but I can't be sure, I'm just lost in the comfort I feel from being so close to her.

"Oh baby, baby, baby" I murmur into her hair as I close my eyes. I inhale deeply just savoring her calming scent, and indulge in the feeling of her being safe in my arms. I grip her tightly pulling her close to me, vowing to myself that I will never let her go.

"Need air" Ana mumbles against me and I realease my iron grip,

"Oh Ana, I'm so sorry baby... I'm sorry I left you, sorry I never... Oh forgive me, are you hurt?" I desperately gush as I check her over quickly. I re-hold her eye as she smiles lovingly up at me, she then gently cups my face. I cover her hand with mine and lean into her palm, and my eyes close at her comforting words,

"I'm fine Christian I promise... I missed you so much" she breathes up at me, her voice full of pure loving emotion, and my heart leaps as I lean in and kiss her passionately.

I feel her, I taste her, and just like in my dream... My heart, body and soul... Yield to her.

I pull her closer and devour her needfully, I sigh against her soft lips feeling utterly content, realizing her response mirrors mine. She has missed me... She loves me. I pull away and cup her face in both my palms, my thumbs caressing her soft cheeks,

"I missed you so much Ana... I'm so sorry for how I treated you, how I left you... What can I do to fix this?" I mutter desperately in between kisses. She giggles as I kiss her cheeks, her neck, her lips, rapidly again and again, her giggles continue, and my eyes hood... Oh what a glorious sound. I moan against her smiling lips, forever grateful that I haven't lost her,

"Well how about... A hug for now and fifty years of groveling?" she offers up with such love pooling in her eyes, that I'm overwhelmed. I nod eagerly like an idiot, just reveling in the fact that she still wants me, I pull her close to me, hugging her tight,

"Oh I agree wholeheartedly with those terms and conditions... Where do I sign baby?" I gush in earnest, as she giggles hugging me tighter, I rest my lips on her forehead, "I love you so, so much Ana" I murmur against her warm skin. She pulls back and looks up at me with excitement in her eyes, and a flush to her cheeks, she looks so beautiful,

"I know you do Christian... And I love you too" she whispers softly,

I attempt to pull her close to me again but she steps away suddenly, and I'm left feeling instantly bereft, I need her close to me, she can't go... As I go to step forward, her face flushes suddenly and she bites down on her glorious bottom lip, and I'm instantly intrigued... What is she thinking about?

Before I have time to ponder to much, Ana's face lights up and she opens and slips off her coat, handing it quickly to Kate who appears from behind me. She winks at me as I catch her eye, and as my gaze returns back to Ana I gasp. Ana stands before me in her wedding dress, the dress I sketched and pictured her in,

"Oh Ana" I breathe softly as I take her all in, she looks wonderful, I raise my head and hold her eye.

My jaw drops suddenly as realization dawns, as Ana falls to her knees.

As Taylor passes, he nods and smiles brightly, winking at Ana. As she returns his smile and is momentarily distracted, I feel his hand brush mine and he discretely pushes a small box into my palm, I know what it is instantly and my heart explodes.

Ana takes my hand gently in hers, "Christian Trevalyn Grey" Ana's soft voice purrs and draws me in. I stand stock still, just gaping at her and I'm sure my mouth is hanging open. I feel totally shocked and stunned. Her soft voice continues gaining confidence with every word she speaks.

"I love you more than anything... Nothing and no one... Will ever come between us or take me away from you... I want to spend every day of my life with you... So Christian... Will you marry me?" I stare down at her wide eyed still gaping, as my mind just spins.

After the way I treated her... What I thought of her... What I did to her... Here she is on her knees, still wanting to be with me... Asking me... To marry... Her.

How on earth did I ever deserve, something so precious as her?

I fall onto my knees in front of her and her eyes widen expectantly. I take her face softly in my hands and kiss her ever so gently, my lips lingering yearnfully. I pull back and look deep into her wide blue beguiling eyes, and I know in my heart that I will want to be with her forever.

"Yes baby yes... Of course I'll marry you" I whisper against her smiling lips, I kiss her swiftly then pull away resting on my knees. I open the small Tiffany box and pull out the engagement ring I had made for her. It sat next to our wedding bands, which I quickly put into my pocket. As I lift her hand her eyes hold mine, and as I slip the ring effortlessly on to her finger the sigh that leaves me is so gratifying. She's mine.

Her eyes leave mine as she looks at her ring, and as the tears collect in her bright blue eyes, I kiss her forehead softly. "You own my heart baby... This weekend has proven to me... Without a shadow of doubt, that I am nothing... And no one without you" I whisper truthfully, as she just stares down at her hand. Her ring is a band of gold, that holds a heart shaped deep dark ruby, it is flanked by two diamonds each side, running down the band.

"Oh Christian it's beautiful" she whispers as a lone tear fall, I kiss it away quickly,

"I love you Ana" I breathe against her cheek, and suddenly the place erupts.

I see camera flashes, hear squeals of joy, which I recognize instantly as Mia's tribal call. I hear cheering, clapping and loud whoop whoops, with loud whistles from the booming voice of my brother. As I turn my head sideways to take in all the ruckus, my body sags at the sight of my family and friends excited, joyous and teary faces. Ana giggles in front of me at my stunned expression and it hits me like a punch, as I finally take in my surroundings and realize where I am.

"Surprise" Ana whispers with a soft giggle,

"Fuck... I'm in Vegas" I exclaim, suddenly realizing how much my heads been all over the place,

"You look so handsome Christian" Ana says as she rests her hand on chest. Instant warmth and heat encase me and my eyes close... This is home. I cover her hand on my chest with mine, and look down at our contact, I gasp in awe,

"Fuck... I'm in a tux... My heads been mush... Sorry baby" I say with a bemused chuckle. Ana smiles as she pulls my bow tie out of my pocket and places it around my neck. As she lifts my collar and expertly ties it, she leans in and whispers close to my ear,

"Can we have some fun with this later?" she asks, and I feel her flush on my cheek as her words continue "Or better still... The hotel curtains have tiebacks" she suggests with a low giggle, and my face falls a tad and my guts roll, as I think of our missed opportunity in New York this weekend... And how different things should have been.

Kate appears and hands Ana my button hole, which Ana pins safely onto my lapel. She kisses me softly and I see her eyes tear up as she reads my sad, remorseful face,

"Oh Christian I'm so sorry you went through all of this, this weekend was... I wanted to come to you..." I kiss her to stop her talking and brush my thumb over her soft cheek catching her tear. This feels so good... I don't want to ruin it by talking now,

"We can talk later, I promise... I need to make you mine first" I utter against her lips and she beams up at me as my heart once again explodes.

How on earth can this be happening? Before I wake up... Before this perfect dream ends... I'm gonna make her mine. I want to marry her, right here... Right now... I will grovel and appease forever, once I have my ring on her finger... Starting with our honeymoon.

I stand taking her with me and catch sight of our small congregation entering the small chapel, I look down at Ana studying her properly and she looks amazing, absolutely beautiful. She kisses me and I succumb and revel for a sweet, sweet time, then I have to pull away, or this is going to be more than embarrassing.

"No more kisses until you are Mrs grey" I tease, but my heart pounds at the sound of her soon to be new name,

"Oh I love the sound of that" she gushes, and pride courses through me,

"Me too... Let's go" I state as I sweep her up into my arms. I need to make her mine... Now.

"Aren't you supposed to do this afterwards?" she giggles, looking up at me with the most joyous expression,

"I will carry you for the rest of your life baby" I tell her truthfully, there is no where else I want her to be, than safe in my arms,

"I'd end up with a very large behind if you did" she teases,

"Your right" I chuckle as I place her on her feet in the archway of the little white chapel of love... How Corney, but I revel and smile broadly "You ready baby?... You sure you wanna do this?" I whisper with my heart in my mouth, her bright smile pulls at every part of me,

"Oh yes Christian... More that anything?" she gushes, I kiss her forehead before I take her hand, and lead her to her waiting father. He smiles at us both as I take his hand

"Thank you Sir" I say humbly as I over shake his hand. He nods with a grin as I walk into the chapel.

As I enter the chapell I catch sight of everyone and my chest rises excitedly, all my family look so happy, my Mom especially. I stride up the aisle towards a grinning Elliot, and pull him into a hug as I reach him.

"How you been bro?" he asks with a cocked eyebrow, play punching me in the arm,

"Oh don't even ask" I breathe as I punch him back,

"We need to have a chat" El states and my face falls at his tone, "I need to tell you a story... About my old faithful friend jack" he teases and I know, he knows, how I drowned this weekend. The next thing I know where wrestling, pissing about and his laughter roars.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx K

A single tear runs down my cheek, as I walk slowly up the aisle scattering red and cream rose petals. I can finally relax, finally breath, because after all we've been through this weekend... After all the tears... All the doubt... All the wallowing... It's all come together... Perfectly.

I glance at Elliot and Christian up the aisle, and there pissing about, Christian has Elliot in a headlock and there both grinning like Cheshire cats,

"Boys" Grace hisses, and they instantly stop.

I stop on my spot, and turn to watch Ana and Ray appear in the chapel doorway. As Ana and Ray start the slow walk up the aisle, the piano begins to play, it's the piece that Christian wrote for Ana, and I roll my eyes at the memory of trying to find a pianist, that Christian thought good enough. Christian would have played it himself, if he could have been in two places at once, but even Grey can't do that.

I smile fondly as Ray looks as proud as punch. All his reservations seem dead and buried, and Ana well she looks so beautiful, so happy, and she can't take her eyes off Christian. I think, she thinks he will disappear, if she so much as blinks. Christian freezes and physically melts as his eyes meet Ana's... God these two. I hide my giggle and glance around, but chuckle, as I take in the congregation.

Every one is beaming, Grace and Gail are both battling for the title of waterworks queen, Mia is sitting on her hands, with her ankles twisted around her chair legs, obviously to keep her butt in her chair. I ordered her to stand down as bridesmaid because she was so hyped, it's cost me my Rolex but cheap at the price, I will not have this all falling at the last hurdle, but I roll my eyes despite myself, because you gotta love her. The expression on her face, as her gaze bounces between Ana and the brother she never knew she had, is priceless and she caused all of this, so she has the right to be proud.

Everyone looks so happy... And then it hits me...

God... It's not just these two love birds, that will be happy after tonight... These two, have touched so many people in this room... Brought them all together... Changed so much, and as Ana and Ray approach the altar I take my place beside Ana and I catch Elliot's eye, my heart flutters as Elliot blows me a kiss... And yes... Ana has a lot to be credited for... She is worth her weight in gold.

.


	63. 63 I Now Pronounce You

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Grace

As my watery eyes lock on to Christian and Ana, I can feel my erratic heart beat. I squeeze Carrick's hand and sob quietly into his handkerchief. As I feel his hand return the pressure, I know he understands and shares my joy. Christian looks so happy, so relaxed... So in love. There is no doubt about it, it radiates out of him like a blinding light.

His face holds an almost serene smile, and I don't think he has taken his eyes off Ana since she walked into the room, and I don't blame him, she's never looked more radiant. Her dress is wonderful, suits her perfectly, her eyes are wide, her cheeks are flushed and the love in her eyes and mannerisms, would melt even the coldest of hearts.

I feel Carrick kiss my temple and I lean back into him, reveling in something I never thought possible... I always hoped...Always prayed... But never truly believed.

Before Ana came to dinner those few short weeks ago, Christian was dead inside, he was sad, lost, lonely, so unsure of himself. He hid it well behind a cold hard exterior, but a Mother knows... I felt it in him, I could see it burning deep in his sad, cold empty eyes. The man standing in front of me now is none of those things, he is confident in himself, proud, happy... In love. He is wearing it proudly on his sleeve, for the whole world to see.

Ana has made him, brought him to life... Given him a life. He has changed everything about himself effortlessly for her. She has shown him love, shown him how to believe in it. She has brought us all together as a family, finally shown him how much we all love him... And I love her like one of my own because of that.

As Christian's voice sings out loud and proud, I hold my breath.

"I Christian Trevelyan Grey, take thee Anastasia Rose Steele... To be my lawfully wedded Wife" and his face beams with his final word.

"Oh God bless them" I silently pray, as the tears run uncontrollably down my cheeks. My heart swells with love and pride for my son, as his strong voice carries around the small chapel and his vows continue.

"To have and to hold from this day forward... For better or for worse... For richer for poorer... In sickness and in health... To love and to cherish... From this day on... For as long as we both shall live."

Ana smiles up at Christian with love and tears in her eyes, and his eyes burn as they hold hers. As he takes her ring from Elliot, his voice rings out absolute.

"I give you this ring as a symbol of my love for you... My trust and belief in our union... And my commitment and faithfulness to our marriage"

As he pushes the ring on her finger his entire body sags, his relief is evident and his words are spoken with such gratitude,

"With this ring I gladly join my life to yours"

He stands proudly as the registrar's voice fills the chapel,

"Christian Trevelyan Grey, do you take Anastasia Rose Steele to be your lawfully wedded Wife?"

"I do" Christian states confidently without any hesitation.

As the registrar turns to Ana and Ana starts to speak, you can see that Christian has held his breath, I hide a chuckle, as he has no need for worry, there is no possibility that she will ever say no. After talking to her and Kate today, I know with certainty that he has a place in her heart forever.

I smile, as Christian keeps hold of Ana's hand as she starts to speak,

"I Anastasia Rose Steele take thee, Christian Trevelyan Grey... To be my lawfully wedded Husband" and as the words leave her lips, Christian's eyes close and roll briefly as his heart visibly jolts.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Mia

As I push my hands further under my behind to refrain from flailing, I bite my lip to hold in my squeals of joy. As Ana looks up at Christian, her soft voice continues.

"To have and to hold from this day forward... For better or for worse... For richer for poorer... In sickness and in health... To love and to cherish... From this day on... For as long as we both shall live".

I watch Christian blur in front of me as my overjoyed tears blind me, and as my hands cup my face, I feel a handkerchief brush my shoulder, "Thank you" I whisper, to one of Ana's friends and quickly clear my vision and I'm once again captivated by Christian's joyous expression. As Ana slowly starts to push the ring onto his finger, her words enthrall him, captivate him, please him so much... It's written all over him. And I want to just weep, for he's so happy.

"I give you this ring as a symbol of my love for you" Ana's soft voice confirms, "My truth and belief in our union... And my commitment and faithfulness to our marriage... With this ring... I gladly join my life to yours" Ana sighs deeply, mirroring Christian and I feel my heart clench.

As Ana pushes Christian's ring firmly into place on his finger, I can't contain it any longer and a low squeak leaves me. I bite my lip harder and try not to laugh, as I notice Ana and Christian both hide a chuckle since they no doubt heard me. Mom drapes her arm over my shoulder, as Elliot's hand rests on my knee,

"Shush dear" Mom whispers, "Not long now" I slowly start to count as the Registrar speaks.

"Do you Anastasia Rose Steele, take thee Christian Trevelyan Grey, to be your lawfully wedded Husband?"

"I do" Ana breaths softly, her voice full of so much love, that my vision blurs instantly once again. "I now pronounce you Husband and Wife... You may kiss the bride" the registrar states proudly.

And that's it... They did it... And I'm on my feet. As I jump up, Mom and Elliot both grab my waist quickly to stop me throwing myself at them. And I'm soon thankful for their restraint as I take in Ana and Christian kissing... Boy can they kiss...

I sigh contentedly knowing my brother is finally happy and settled, Ana is part of him now.

Christian has changed so much in the short time he has known her, she has brought out the best parts of him. I love my brother, always have, and all I ever wanted was for him to be happy, and I know now that he is. And all through a little meddling, I chuckle to myself, 'Thank heavens for feature walls'. As there make out session finishes and they turn towards us all, I dive at Ana and pull her gratefully into my arms.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Taylor

As I sit next to Gail I drape my arm over her shoulder and I pass her another hanky, "Stop blubbering women... You can't possibly see anything through all those tears" I tease as I pull her close and swiftly kiss the top of her head.

"I'm so happy Jason... Look at him, look at his face" she whispers,

"I'm looking baby girl, I'm looking" I say with a smirk, because I see what she sees.

"He is so proud... So in love" she sobs as she dabs at her puffy eyes, and she's not wrong.

I comfort her by rubbing her shoulder as she leans into me, and as my gaze bounces between Gail and Grace, I smile at the identical blubbering Mother hens. But they're not the only ones, every woman in the room has tears in their eyes. All except ball breaker Ros and I can't help snigger at her expression.

Grey likes to believe that Ros is only pulling his dick, over her liking for Ana... But I'm not so sure, her face looks pretty green from where I'm sitting, but thankfully Gwen in oblivious as she sobs into a tissue. What the fuck is it with woman and happy tears?

I chuckle and look towards the altar, even from the back Grey looks calm and happy... Thankfully, fucking anger free. After what he found out a few hours ago, I'm surprised he hasn't self combusted yet, but I supposed he's been a little side tracked and distracted.

I snigger to myself, why shouldn't he be? Ana looks stunning. She is so good for him, she makes him. I have realized recently just how much he needs her, the man in New York was lost without her. Talking to Sawyer I don't think Ana would survive without Grey either, so today, things couldn't have turned out any better.

His face was an absolute picture once he realized where the fuck he was, he was so preoccupied that his head went west, which only worked in my favour. I'm distracted as Ana and Grey turn to face everyone, and I'm surprised when Grey's eyes meet mine. They bore into me, as god only knows what, flashes across his face and I know what he's trying to say, but it's not needed... He's more than welcome, I nod minutely as his face beams, and my arms tighten around Gail.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A

As we turn around to face our family and friends as Husband and Wife, Christian's hand is still holding mine. I feel a comforting squeeze and I'm suddenly overwhelmed with the emotions I feel, because I know he's never going to let me go.

All the worry, stress and doubt I had, disappeared the minute he stepped out of the car, I knew as soon as I saw him, the minute our eyes locked, that he still felt the same, if not more, it was written all over him.

And now he's mine, we have exchanged vows, exchanged rings, I'm married to him, connected to him forever and I can't think of anything I would ever want more. I love him, I need him... And I now have him... Forever as my Husband.

As my family new and old surrounds us, Mia pulls me tightly into her and holds me close, but Christian doesn't let go of my hand. As countless arms envelope us both from all different directions, we're still connected. I feel his grip tighten as I tighten mine and I don't have to see him, to know what look will be on his face... I could see it at the altar... My Husband loves me completely.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx C

As we leave the chapel and head through a sea of people throwing rice and confetti, I feel my smile take over my face. It splits my face in two reflecting everything I feel inside, and I revel in every emotion coursing uncontrollably right through me. I can't ever remember feeling happier.

Knowing Ana still wanted me after everything, wanted me enough to propose and marry me, touches me deeply and I realize without a doubt that I will love her forever.

As Ana giggles and ducks under my arm to dodge the deluge of rice, I pull her closer into my side and I suddenly crave to be alone with her. To just look at her... Kiss her... Touch her... Oh... To just hold her.

As the limo approaches I quickly pull her towards it, "Sorry everybody" I state loudly, to ensure my voice carries above the excited chatter and laughter, "I need some time alone with my Wife... So please make your own way back to the hotel" and as my Mother waves us away, Ana's parents look bewildered, Mia pouts, my dad chuckles and Kate and Elliot roar.

As I open the car door, Ana quickly jumps in and I follow her just as eagerly. As my butt hits the seat, I pull Ana swiftly into my lap. My head falls and rests on her chest and with my arms holding her waist tightly, I just cling to her.

Ana's arms automatically wrap securely around me, filling me instantly with so much warmth, so much peace... So much love. As I feel her soft lips rest on the top of my head, and I exhale deeply feeling totally euphoric.

"Thank you Christian" Ana whispers softly into my hair,

"What for baby?" I whispers back not moving a muscle,

"Everything" Ana whispers, while sweeping my hair from my brow where her soft lips kiss me, "For planning and plotting with Kate... For taking so much time to do all of this... Because everything is perfect. My dress is beautiful and my rings are..." her voice trails, and I watch her bring her hands together and twist her wedding ring around her finger. "It's so unique... Just like you..." I hear the choke in her voice and I pull my head up and meet her eye,

"I had them made for us" I tell her proudly, she smiles up at me nodding, "The band is God, but the center inlay that runs continuously around is a Gold and Titanium mix, Titanium is one of the strongest metals around... Some say stronger than Steel" I chuckle as Ana smiles, "I wanted a Grey inlay set into our bands, I liked the thought of you wearing your surname on your finger... Giving no doubt that your mine" I chuckle shamelessly,

"They're perfect and so beautiful" she whispers,

"Did you notice the inscription?" I ask holding her now wide disappointed eyes,

"No" she whispers sounding heartbroken, I kiss her softly desperate to erase her sudden sadness,

"Look, I'll show you" I offer sitting up a little straighter and bringing my hands together in her lap, my fingers touch my ring, as Ana's hand clasps mine,

"No... Don't take it off" Ana gushes sounding panicked, I chuckle as I hear her heartbeat picks up,

"I won't baby, I promise... This ring is never leaving my finger" I tell her truthfully and adamantly, and her lips crash to mine.

Our tongues do battle needfully, our hunger and desire rising instantly and as I feel her hands run through my hair, I can't help the groan that escapes me. I suddenly feel dampness on my cheek and I pull away, Ana's tears are slowly falling and my heart saddens,

"What's the matter baby?" I ask urgently, Ana's beautiful face flushes,

"I'm just so happy" she whispers with a sniffily giggle, and my arm wrap around her tightly as I chuckle.

I bury my head once again in her chest and listen and wait, for her heartbeat to calm down. When I do, I pull back and once again bring my hands together in an attempt to touch my ring. Ana's hands clasp mine tightly,

"Just tell me" she whispers, and I smile lovingly at her. Holding her eye I confess,

"Well... Your ring is inscribed with the words, "Yours...Forever...Christian" and well my ring has" I flush suddenly as Ana's eyes widen curiously, "Mine has... "Mine...Forever...Ana", she giggles softly,

"You're certainly like staking your claim" she purrs as her hand cups my cheek, I nod assuringly against her hand with no shame at all now, I'm proud that I've made her mine.

"Seriously Christian... Thank you for coming home... And for saying yes" she breathes and my heart pounds. I pull away and take her face in my hands, I kiss her ever so gently on her puffy, soft lips,

"As if I would say anything else... I love you Ana, I'm lost without you... My ring is now on your finger forever... And your mine... I never want to be apart from you... But don't thank me yet, our night isn't over" Ana flushes as my lips descend once more.

As her hands cover mine, I hear our wedding bands clink and my grip tightens around her, oh what a wonderful sound.

"I love you so much Christian" Ana breaths against my lips and I feel totally contented. My grip tightens further as I sigh happily against my beloved Wife.

.

A/N

SORRY FOR THE DELAY AND THAT IT'S SO SHORT AND SWEET PEOPLE, I THINK I OVER DID IT LAST WEEKEND AND JUST NEEDED A BREAK.

I MADE THE MISTAKE OF READING, AND AFTER READING 'LEMONHEAD79 L&L' I JUST COULDN'T FIND THE HAPPINESS, IT'S SUCH A SAD STORY AND

STAYED WITH ME FOR DAYS... I'M FAR TO EMOTIONAL FOR MY OWN GOOD... :)

A&C'S WEDDING BANDS ARE ON MY FB PAGE, IT YOU WANT TO HAVE A LOOK... DCOLIVER FANFICTION...

.

I WILL POST AGAIN IN A FEW DAYS, WORKS HECTIC SO I DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME... SORRY.


	64. 64 Mr & Mrs Grey

A/N

I CAN ONLY APPOLOGISE FOR THE DELAY IN THIS CHAPTER, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU HAVE HAD TO WAIT THREE WEEKS, BUT WITH WORKING 24/7 THEN HAVING A WEEK AWAY I NEVER HAD A CHANCE OR THE ENEGRY TO WRITE, AND SELFISHLY, ANY SPARETIME I DID HAVE I USED IT TO DIVE INTO THE TWILIGHT SECTION OF THIS FANSITE, AND BOY ARE THERE SOME AMAZING COMPLETED STORIES TO GET LOST IN.

SO I APPOLOGISE AGAIN, AND HOPEFULLY FROM NOW ON I WILL CONTINUE TO UPDATE MORE REGULARLY. THANKS TO EVERYONE FOR THEIR CONTINURED SUPPORT AND PMS. I HOPE THIS LONG CHAPTER MAKES UP FOR THE WAITING..XX

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A

As we pull up outside the Hotel ten minutes later, our lips reluctantly pull apart. My breathing is heavy and labored, my body is a needful quivering mess and Christian has only kissed me. The feel of his strong arms wrapped tightly around me, combined with the heat from his hands slowly caressing my bare back and shoulders, is sending my body into overdrive and somehow... Everything just feels so much more erotic, so much more intense now that he's my husband and I desperately need to jump his bones, as Kate so eloquently puts it.

As my hooded smoldering eyes bore into his, I notice his burn right back into mine, his eyes are so dark and fueled, they almost look like slate. My mind and body do battle. I yearn to touch him, to feel him... I need him, I want him... I've missed him so much but... We have family and friends close on our heels, so our quiet time alone is unfortunately very limited. I bite down on my lip to hide my giggle at my horney wayward thoughts, but I can't conceal the salacious smile that still lingers on my lips, or the fire that is no doubt still burning in my eyes. Christian chuckles before kissing me swiftly, his strong fingers clasping my chin tenderly,

"Hold that thought please baby" Christian whispers as he leans into me "We have a reception to attend and people to see" Christian's husky voice breathes close to my ear, and I feel a tremor run down my spine.

I giggle freely and flush slightly at the realization that he can read me and my body so well, but it's not all one sided, I know he's in the same boat. As I squirm purposefully on his lap teasing his erection under my thighs, a groan of pure torment leaves his soft plum lips, I giggle as I gloat internally, satisfied in knowing that he needs me, wants me, just as much as I need him,

"Are you sure we can't ask the driver... To just go around the block once or twice?" I whisper close to his ear, I wriggle once more before taking his lobe with my teeth and pulling gently, his torturous groan deepens and I feel myself quiver and shiver,

"Don't tempt me baby... Please" he almost pleads, "It's been so long and I've missed you so much... But we have an obligations to our guests to..." his muttering voice ceases as I kiss his rambling lips. I pull away slightly but our lips are still touching,

"So we both agree... To hold this thought... Until we have finished all our obligations and duties?" I mutter against his slow moving mouth in between kisses. While my fingers slowly run through the back of his hair, I notice his eyes roll as he nods slowly,

"Agreed" Christian breathes, "But remember dear... Wife" I feel his smile on my lips at the word and instant bliss flows right through me, "We have all night once we get to our room" he murmurs softly, his voice full of delicious intent. My insides throb as I relish the thought, then another thought hits and it's out there,

"Kate mentioned a honeymoon... We're not leaving right after the reception are we?" I ask, my voice sounding a little panicked, I need time alone with my husband before we attempt to go anywhere, I need to rip him out of his tux. Christian chuckles in full understanding,

"No baby, I thought we would be tired after travelling back from New York... So we're staying here... Plus... I didn't want a time limit on our wedding night" Christian's hand runs up my back to the nape of my neck and his lips follow slowly starting to nibble, I impulsively arch into him, I feel his words vibrate right through me as his soft voice continues, "So we can stay here... For as long as we need to baby"

"Perfect" I breathe, suddenly looking forward to a nice lie in with my husband. Christian's lips continue to nibble, and as my eyes roll needfully I can't help noticing the driver, who is just sitting patiently in his seat looking rather bored and staring out of the window,

"Then what?" I ask excitedly as I think of time alone with Christian. He pulls his lips from my neck and his hand sweeps around to cup my face, his thumb starts to trace slowly along my bottom lip, his excited eyes holding mine,

"Well... We have two options" Christian states with a grin as my eyebrows rise quizzically,

"We have two honeymoon choices?" I ask sounding and feeling a little stunned, Christian smiles wider and I see the excitement bright in his eyes, oh what has he planned?,

"Yes... My jet is still at the airfield and can take us any place that you would like to go" he offers, I feel my jaw drop slightly as Christian chuckles. He kisses my gaping mouth before speaking again, "My helicopter is also here and it could take us to the harbor in San Diego, where I have had The Grace moored up." I feel my head slowly shake in bewilderment, only Christian could come up with something this amazing, I smile as I notice his bright excited eyes. "From San Diego we can go anywhere you wanna go, I thought you'd like to do that, you loved our day out on the boat with Kate and Elliot" I nod slowly,

"I would like that" I confirm gratefully, still feeling a little stunned,

"We can head down to Mexico... For two weeks I'm all yours, so whatever you want to do.. The choice is yours" he offers expectantly,

"Wow" I breathe,

"Yes wow" Christian chuckles at my awed expression, "Mac, my boat captain, can be with us for the first few days, we will put him ashore at night obviously" Christian teases as he runs his finger across my cheek following my sudden blush, "He will assist and teach you to work the boat, and as soon as you get the hang of how to handle everything, and we can safely cope on our own, we can send him home and have the boat to ourselves for the remainder of our time" Christian's grip on me tightens as his eyes light up.

"It's a wonderful idea Christian, it sounds perfect" it's more than perfect, two weeks alone with Christian... I can't think of anything better,

"We can swing into any port you want, see and do whatever you fancy" he states with a wide smile, obviously thrilled at the idea,

"Thank you" I manage to murmur,

"My pleasure baby... Come on, let's attend our reception, do all the ritual stuff... The sooner we do this... The sooner we can be alone" he insinuates with a glint to his excited yet still burning eyes. I feel the heat from my blush warm my cheeks once again, and as my mind starts to visualize our up and coming night I feel my breathing start to deepen. Christian chuckles taking my hand and with a swift kiss we leave the limousine. I hide my giggle as Christian closes his suit jacket and pulls me slightly in front of him, his need for me still a little obvious. I knew it wasn't one sided.

As we head into the Hotel the concierge greets us warmly, "Welcome back Mr and Mrs grey" he says with a nod and a small respectful lift of his hat, I can do nothing but beam up at him as I hear my new name for the first time. I feel Christian's hand tighten around mine and glance up at him, his grin is wide and proud,

"Thank you" Christian replies with a firm nod as we walk past him.

As we enter the dining room that Christian has had transfored to hold our reception, I gasp loudly, my feet falter as I take in the stunning room. Christian's gaze is firmly on my face as he watches me nervously waiting for my reaction, I feel my jaw drop slightly and he chuckles happily as he pulls me into his chest. I rest my back against him as his strong arms wrap around my waist and his chin rests on my shoulder.

"What do you think baby?" Christian whispers into my ear,

"Christian it's beautiful" I whisper back, my eyes widening as I take everything in.

In keeping with the theme of the chapel, garlands and swags of flowers are everywhere. The main overhead lights are low and candals adorn every available surface once again, including the six large circular tables. The lighting in the room looks so romantic, so magical. I smile as I take a deep breath in through my nose, reveling in the wonderful sweet smell, and I look down and notice the floor once again is scattered with rose petals. I hide a shocked giggle as I contemplate how much he must have spent on flowers alone. This man of mine seriously has more money than sense.

My eyes continue to take in the room, and I notice that each large table is draped with a cream linen table cloth that reaches the floor. Each place setting and fancy pleated napkin are a deep ruby red, perfectly matching the large red cluster of roses that form the table centerpieces. Against the white china and sparkling silver cutlery and twinkling crystal glasses it looks absolutely amazing. The chairs that surround each table are all draped with the same cream linen, and are tied with large red ribbons that tie at the back in a large perfect bow.

I notice on closer inspection that all the red bows have the letters C&A stitched into the center of them, with a fine silver and gold thread. All the napkins have the same calligraphy stitched onto the corners of them, and the clusters of red and cream balloons that float effortlessly in-between all the flower arrangement around the outskirts of the room, also have C&A printed on them.

My grin widens as I shake my head awed and stunned once again, I notice the wedding cake proudly displayed at the head of the room, and I feel the tears well up in my eyes. The cake is three tiers and has a red ribbon tied around the bottom tier, red roses surround the second tier and a large red C&A on the top tier, its beautiful,

"Oh Christian this place is amazing, everything is so beautiful, thank you so much" I whisper as my arms tighten over his, he chuckles into my neck before kissing me firmly just under my ear.

"Come on baby" Christian whispers as he stands tall and takes my hand.

He attempts to lead me over to the head table but just then the doors swing open and our family descend upon us. Once again we're enfolded in warm friendly arms and blessed with love and well wishes.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx K

As I sit curled up in Elliot's lap at our table, I watch Ell's face as he glances around the room filled with his family, his eyes soften wistfully as he watches his Mom and Dad dancing. Grace and Carrick look so happy, so proud, and I can't help but smile. As I place a kiss on his brow, I feel his deep contented sigh as his arms wrap further around my waist, Elliot rests his head against mine.

I catch sight of Mia who is sitting at the next table, she has her elbows on the table and her head resting in her palms. She is still beside herself, her happy glowing eyes are following Ana and Christian all around the room as they dance. Elliot sighs heavily once again holding me tightly against him, I can smell the alcohol on his warm breath and hide a giggle at his slight slurred words,

"Your wonderful you know that baby" he murmurs into my neck with a panty twitching ear nibble,

"I know I am, but why this time?" I tease arching my neck into his teasing warm lips. Shifting myself more comfortably on his lap, I feel a low moan leave him as he kisses my neck hard. He pulls away to look at me, his hand comes up to hold my neck and as I look at him I see his eyes hold so much appreciation,

"What you have done here tonight is... It's..." I see the awe in his eyes as his words falter, "None of this would of happened without you Kate, Christian was a mess, Ana was heartbroken, but you... You salvaged everything" he smiles down at me,

"It would of happened anyway" I tell him truthfully snuggling back into his warm firm chest,

"But not today" he states firmly, I just smile up at him feeling pretty pleased with myself, I know how happy this has made him, how happy it has made everyone,

"Look at him Kate" Elliot whispers close to my ear, then gesturing towards Christian as he swirls past us with Ana in his arms, "Christian is totally mesmerized by Ana... Truthfully Kate, when their New York weekend fell through, I was gutted, after what I heard I thought the old Christian was back... But when he walked into the chapel earlier... He hugged me Kate" Elliot's voice holds bewilderment "It seemed so natural, like he's been doing it for forever and not just the last couple of weeks, he's changed so much, he was playful... That's the brother I want, who I've always wanted... And needed... Thank you Kate" Elliot praises with a firm kiss to my temple. I snuggle in further unable to contain my wide satisfied grin,

"Your so welcome baby... I'm happy to help" I tell him truthfully. It was as much for Ana's benefit that it was Christian's. I don't think she would survive without him now. Elliot lifts my head so our eyes meet, and as his hand cup my cheek his eyes sparkle,

"Keep all these contacts you've made arranging this... This could be you soon" he drools and I feel my eyes widen and fuck me, I also feel my cheek heat with a rare flush,

"What?..." I mumble dumbfounded "Just how much Jack have you had?" I teases lightly to hide my total shock and embarrassment, Elliot laugh loudly shaking his head, he plants a small kiss on the end of my nose,

"Afer what Christian has been through over the last couple of days, I'm never gonna touch the stuff again... But I love you Kate, truly I do" he whispers for only the second time in the entire time of our relationship, and it sounds wonderful to hear,

"I love you too Ell" I tell him as my arms wrap around him tightly.

As my lips reach his and we kiss deeply, I use his wonderful tormenting lips as a distraction, to allow my head and heart time to catch up with each other, because fuck me... Ell has thought about marrying me, and until now, I never realized how good a thought that is.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A

As I stand strategically and perfectly placed in front of the beautiful potted floral arrangements, I try so hard to contain my laughter and keep a straight face,

"Take the damn picture already" I curse through clenched teeth and a forced smile, I hear Jose chuckle as he pulls his face away from his camera to look over at me squarely,

"Perfection can't be rushed Ana, these photographs are very important, a wedding album is a special thing, the pictures in it should be perfect" he states professionally, but his eyes share my humor,

"Bollocks" I mutter with a giggle, "I've seen you all evening springing up everywhere taking candid shots, you will have more than enough, you could probably fill three photo albums with the amount of photographs you have taken" I tell him with a roll of my eyes and he nods with a wide grin.

He knows I don't need or want the standed force posed photos, I want real emotional candid shots, which I know from all his work over the years that he is very good at. I chuckle further as I hear the camera shutter go off a few times,

"You look so happy Ana" he says with a smile, "He loves you" he suddenly states from behind his camera. My forced smile softens as I catch sight of Christian, and I feel my smile widen as I hear the camera shutter once again rapidly clicking,

"I know he does... I love him so much Jose" I continue to glance over his shoulder and watch Christian chatting with his Mom, they both look so happy, I notice Jose turn to follow my gaze,

"He seems kinda cool" he mutters, looking through his camera once again, I hear the shutter go off a few more times as he captures Christian and Grace hugging. I smile at the sight of the two of them, and know that Christian will love that photograph, Grace looks so proud.

"He's the best" I mumble with a loved filled sigh as Jose just chuckles. He turns back to me once again, his camera poised for action,

"Come on... A few more shots and were done" he says comfortingly and I stand up straight once again holding my position, my face is still smiling softly as I continue to watch Christian, then it hits me,

"Jose... You do realize that from tomorrow your life will never be the same" I inform him with confidence, his brow furrows as he looks at me, his camera still poised, "Tomorrow you will be famous... And richer" I giggle at his bemused then stunned expression, "Every newspaper will be biting your hand off for these photographs" I tell him truthfully,

"Why? Who would wanna see your ugly mug" he teases while still snapping away,

I chuckle before sticking my tongue out at him, "Jose" I state seriously, "I'm presuming your photographs will accompany Kate's press article announcing our marriage" he appears from behind his camera and nods cautiously,

"Well... The last time I went out with Christian we were everywhere, on the front of every newspaper and TV show" I flush as I recall all the embarrassing kissing footage, "For some reason, everything Christian does is newsworthy... So this will be the step you need to help you for fill your lifelong dream" I smile proudly, Jose's face holds shock, excitement, then finally pride, "Once you have a name for yourself, you can photograph what you want, when you want, where you want... So make sure you get some good shots" I tease as Jose smiles excitedly,

"Then hold still and make me famous Steele" Jose laughs loudly,

"Its Grey now... If you don't mind" I scold him playfully my voice sounding proud.

Suddenly out of no where, Mia appears and throws herself into the shot, photo bombing me with a wide childish grin and finger bunny rabbit ears. As I laugh freely I pull her into the shot properly and she smiles hugging me close.

As we pose together waiting for a slightly stunned looking Jose to regain all his faculties, I can't help the knowing smile slowly spreading across my face. I turn to Mia and notice her eyes resting on Jose and she's blushing profusely. Jose stares at her through his camera then pulls his face away slightly, I notice his eyes widen appreciately as they meet Mia's, he fails miserably to hide his slight flush.

Mia's grip on me tightens painfully as I feel her breathing quicken, I'm sure I can hear her accelerated heartbeat even over the music filling the room. I giggle as I pull myself out of our tight hug. With her hand in mine I pull Mia forward closing the gap between them both. Well... Who would have thought.

"Mia, let me introduce you to one of my closest friends" I offer as Mia stumbles nervously forward following me, "Mia... This is Jose Rodriguez" Jose steps forward offering her his hand, his face still filled with his bashful smile,

"Jose, this is Mia Grey, Christian's sister" I inform him and his eyes widen as their hands meet, I hear a slight gasp leave Mia's lips as they instinctively step closer together,

"Hi" Jose breaths quietly holding her eye as Mia just blushes further, I bite my lip to contain my laughter as I watch them both, a sudden rush of excitement flowing through me at witnessing their obvious interest in each other,

"Hi" Mia breathes in return, "Thank you for the use of your handkerchief in the chapel" she purrs softly, no trace of the over excited squeals that usually leave her,

"It was my pleasure" Jose murmurs and their hands drop but remain entwined,

"Oh look, I think Kate needs me, See you guys later" I gush with a small white lie, quickly stepping away from them. They both just "Ahuh" at me, paying me no attention whatsoever. As I leave them both to get acquainted the laughter leaves me and I head over to my husband.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx C

As I spin my wife again and again around the dance floor, I relish and savor every sight, every sound, every smell of this entire evening, just committing it all to memory. This evening has been perfect, it has gone better than I could have ever of hoped for, and it's exceeded all of my expectations. I want to hold on to these feelings that are coursing through me for ever, I truly don't want this night to end.

I pull Ana closer to me and slow down my steps a touch, just to allow her to lean into me a little bit more. Her head rests on my chest and I hear and feel her contented and wistful sigh, as my eyes close I breath heavily into her hair. Then I gasp trying to withhold my curse as Ana is suddenly pulled from my arms, my eyes shoot open and my brow twists angrily.

Ana is standing in front of me with Ros's arm wrapped around her waist, "May I cut in" Ros drools looking salaciously at Ana, while totally ignoring my fuming expression. Ana flushes and giggles as she lets go of my hand, Ros takes full advantage and takes her now free hand pulling Ana away from me further... The bitch.

"No... Fuck off Ros" I snap as I step forward trying to reclaim Ana back,

"Oh Christian be nice" Ros sings while still ignoring me and smiling at Ana. My eyes widen as I notice Ros winking at Ana,

"No, take your hands off my wife" I spit angrily a wave of jealousy crashing over me,

"Just one dance" Ros insists adamantly,

"No... Let go of Ana now, or I will fire you" I retort sounding childish even to my own ears, Ros laughs heartily as Ana tries to hide her giggles,

"Christian you can't fire me" Ros states smiling at me wickedly over her shoulder, I raise my eyebrows at her,

"Oh can't I" I reply with a challenging tone, Ros shakes her head as her grin widens,

"No you can't" Ros says with confidence, "If you did... Then who on earth would fill your shoes at the office while you escape with this wonderful woman for two whole weeks?" her face hold a knowing sly smile, and the bitch has got me there... And she knows it. I hear the frustrated huff leave me as I reluctantly give in,

"Fine" I mumble, "One dance" I snap sounding petulant, "I mean it Ros, one dance that's all" I tell her pointedly, Ros needs no more encouragement and as she twirls Ana away from me I hear them both giggle.

As I watch Ana being lead around the dance floor by Ros, I try and rein in my irrational thoughts. Fuck... It's only a dance but if she dare try anything I will... I notice Gwen approaching me cautiously out the corner of my eye, I pull my gaze away from Ana as I turn and force a smile, Gwen smiles shyly up at me,

"She's only winding you up you know" Gwen says with a soft chuckle,

"Is she?" I ask without thinking, my voice sounding sullen,

"Of course she is" Gwen reassures confidently, I nod in agreement even though I don't truly believe her.

I watch as Ros catches my eye and with a wide mischievous grin, she slowly runs her hand up Ana's back to caress the nape of her neck, and fuck that's it, I've had enough,

"Sorry Gwen, Ros looks like she's having far too much of a good time" I stride across the dance floor towards my wife, eager to get her back into my arms, where she rightfully belongs,

"May I cut in" I state in a tone that lets Ros know instantly that I'm not just asking, I wrap my arm securely around Ana's waist and pull her hand out of Ros's firm grip.

"Spoilsport" Ros whines before sticking her tongue out at me, "It's been a pleasure Ana" she purrs with another quick wink at my wife, I can't hold in my curse towards her but as always, she takes no offense and her laughter rings out as she heads back over to Gwen.

I turn Ana away quickly and head out further onto the dance floor far from Ros's grasp. I grip Ana tightly pulling her close into my chest, "She's only teasing you" Ana giggles up at me, I raise my eyebrows, not believing her for a second,

"I have eyes Ana and I know Ros" I mutter as Ana rolls her eyes,

"Ros told me she's only winding you up, for all the times you've been a dick... Her words not mine, she has finally found your Achilles heel, so she's gonna milk it" Ana flushes as her arm tightening around me, I silently curse as I hope Ros doesn't mean that literally,

"I've seen how she looks at you Ana, the way she drools over your photos in my office is..." my voice trails off as Ana's embarrassment deepens, "Ana believe me, she more than likes you" Ana flushes brightly but shakes her head in denial as I continue, "I can't blame her though, and truthfully... She isn't the only one, you tend to distract everyone that enters my office" I tell her honestly.

I feel the frown on my forehead deepen because it's a blessing and a curse having those photographs hanging in my office. I love to lose myself in the memories of those captured moments, but it seriously pisses me off when every Tom, Dick and Harriot blatantly ogles my Ana. So from now on, I will hold all my meetings in my board room, there... Problem solved.

I look down at Ana and there is a mischievous glint in her eyes "So you don't want a threesome then?" she whispers shyly, "Ros is rather nice" she teases looking up at me from under her lashes, as she chews on her bottom lip I feel my cock twitch at the sight, And can't help but make her squirm,

"The only threesome I would ever be interested in baby... Is with you, me... And a toy" I whisper slowly and seductively in between kisses on Ana's now arching neck, I hear Ana's breathing hitch and feel her legs buckle and I quickly pull her tighter against me to stop her sliding to the floor, I can't hide my chuckle as Ana's stunned face just flames, and her heart pounds eratically against me.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A

I'm in Christian's arms on the dance floor, slowly swaying in time to the music just reveling in the total bliss of the entire evening. As the night unfortunately winds down, I can finally take stock. I'm a married woman, I'm Mrs Anastasia Grey... Wow.

I peep up at Christian, and I can tell that he is on the same wavelength as me, he doesn't want this night to end either. I have never seen him look so happy, but it could have been so different. I beat down the sudden anxiety that threatens to creep into me as I recall this past weekend, but I don't allow my thoughts to linger as I thank the heavens... And Kate, that things have turned out so perfectly.

A wonderful evening has passed us by so quickly, it has passed in a blur of excitement and joviality. The food was wonderful the band were great and as for Elliot's speech... Well, let's just say, I don't think Christian will forget it in a hurry, or let him get away with the embarrassing stories he told.

I chuckle into Christian's chest as I recall Gail's face, or rather Jason's face as Gail caught my bouquet, "Don't be getting any ideas" Jason had exclaimed loudly with a very rare flush, Gail had giggled and stated proudly "I might ask you to marry me... It worked for Ana" and the entire room laughed as his face flamed.

"You do realize that we hardly know each other" I murmur into Christian's shoulder, unsure where that random thought even came from. Christian pulls back and cups my face, his thumb starts caressing my warm flushed cheek softly as he nods slowly,

"That is half the fun though isn't it?" he whispers, his reply surprising me, I raise my brow questioningly, "We're committed and bound to each other now baby, no matter what we find out about each other, good, bad or indifferent... The rings that we exchanged today connect us... So no matter what we have to go through... We will always be together, nothing will ever come between us baby... I love you"

"I love you more" I state as I feel myself swooning,

"I doubt that very much Ana" Christian whispers before kissing me softly.

As Christian pulls his gaze from mine he scans the room, "We need to start heading upstairs, my Grandparents look shattered and Mom has had far too much champagne... And truthfully Ana... I can't wait to get you alone" I nod against him, as much as I love this, I'm also itching to get him upstairs. I yearn to finally be alone with him, and I need to fine find out for certain how he really is after this weekend, plus, i've had to fight the urge for the last hour, of pulling on his bow tie.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx C

As we head over to my family who all appear to be back at their tables, I inform my parents that maybe its time to make tracks. Suddenly Elliot yells and whoops something about continuing this party upstairs in our suite, and the table erupts is agreement. I notice Ana and Kate share a look as Kate rolls her eyes at Elliot, but I see the delight in my family's faces and can hardly refuse them. So I nod in confirmation.

As everyone starts to make their way to the elevators I inform Ros and Andrea, that they too, would be more than welcome to join us upstairs, but thankfully they both refuse. So Ana and I go through the motions of thanking them for coming, then turn our attention to our other guests.

As I turn to John and his wife who are sitting on the next table, I suddenly feel a rush of shame wash over me and rack my brain trying to think why. As I take the few steps that are needed to reach them, I have a fleeting shameful memory,

"Hi John, Rhiana" I nod politely as John and his wife return my greeting. John's eyes are alight with humor and I suddenly feel very sheepish,

"I called you didn't I?" I question in a surprisingly quiet voice,

"Yes" he replies with a cocked eyebrow and the start of a smirk,

"Shit" I mumble as Ana giggles beside me,

"Exactly" John states finding it hard to hide his grin,

"Will I still be expecting to hear from your lawyers Christian?" John questions while winking at Ana,

"What?... Why?" I ask looking between the two of them, what the fuck did I do?

"You tell him Ana" John says with a chuckle as he and Rhiana stand. "I'm gonna take my wife upstairs to our gorgeous hotel suite, and reenact our wedding night" I laugh freely as Ana groans loudly,

"Way TMI John" Ana scolds with a giggle.

Ana and Rhiana share a hug as John and I shake our goodbyes, John leans into me and his face holds a very satisfied smile "It's so good to see you happy Christian, you deserve it" My eyebrows shoot up in surprise but I have to agree, it feels great to be happy.

"Thank you John" I reply, and they take their leave and head upstairs, along with my Grandparents who, after hugs and kisses, also hold the same satisfied expression. I roll my eyes with a chuckle and revel in the fact that everyone, like me, is on a high.

Ana quickly heads over to her parents who are sitting apart from everyone else, but returns to me just as quickly with a bemused expression, and she giggles as she tells me her Mom and Dad are going to stay down here a while longer... As they want to catch up. I notice Ana's wistful smile as I pull her into my arms, and as my hand cups her soft cheek her eyes rise to mine.

"Come on baby, let's head upstairs" I whisper and after planting a soft kiss on her brow, I take her hand and lead her to the elevators, where once again our family await.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx T

As we all head upstairs to Grey's suite, I automatically go into auto pilot. Even thought Gail and I are technically guests this evening and Sawyer is no doubt in control of everything, I still feel I have to do my job. I see Gail safely into the hotel suite and after a swift kiss and a promise to be right back, I head back out and check in with the security guys stationed all over the hotel. Once I'm certain that all is well and nothing can cause any fuck ups, I head back to Grey's suite.

On returning I scan the room, I can't help roll my eyes as I notice Gail handing out the finger food that the hotel must have sent up, does that woman never switch off?. I notice a few people dancing on the hardwood floor near the vast open windows, including Grey and his Mom. Most of the men are propping up the bar and helping themselves, and Mia and Kate are digging about in the entertainment cabinet sorting out more music. I notice Ana is sitting by herself just scanning the room with a serene look to her teary eyes.

I head over towards her, unsure why, but I feel the need to talk to her. As I approach she looks up at me and a wide grin takes over her beautiful flushed face, "Would you care to dance Ana?" I ask surprising her and myself, half of me wants her to refuse but fuck it, isn't it customary to dance with the bride?. Ana nods and jumps to her feet, Swifty taking my offered hand.

As we approach the make shift dance floor, I catch Greys eye and feel a touch of apprehension as he avidly watches us both. I notice him clock our joined hands, but fuck me, he just nods with a small smile and turns his attention back to his mother who is talking up at him. As we step onto the wooden floor, I pull Ana into my arms but make sure our bodies keep a respectable distance apart,

"Thank you Jason, for all your help and for looking after Christian this weekend" Ana gushes as soon as our feet start to move, I smile down at her shaking my head slightly,

"I didn't do anything really Ana... He wouldn't let me... The stubborn arse" I retort as Ana just giggles at my honesty, but I really feel the need to tell her my worry, "Don't ever hurt him though Ana... It truly would break him" Ana's feet falter at my words but her eyes remain soft and love filled as she glances at Grey,

"And me Jason... How can I ever thank you for all you have done for us both?" Ana asks as she suddenly stops moving and pulls me into a tight hug. I catch Grey's split second angry glare as his eyes rest upon us, but then just as quick, his whole demeanor instant relaxes as he realizes this is a grateful hug, and not a, I wanna shag your wife type of hug,

"You don't ever need to thank me Ana... Gail is happy, that's enough for me" I tell her honestly as my mind plays out what a happy Gail entails, as we start dancing once again I can't hide my smile or my glance towards Gail, Ana as usual misses nothing,

"Gail is truly a lovely person... She looks lovely tonight" Ana says softly following my gaze,

"She is and she does" I agree casting another glance her way, she's hugging Mia and there are more fucking happy tears, god that woman will cry herself dry if she doesn't quit it, I chuckle as Ana watches on,

"How long have you two been together?" Ana asks suddenly and I turn back to face her,

"Three years" I state proudly because I've loved every single minute of it,

"Haven't you ever wanted to marry her?" Ana whispers with a slight flush, god this kid is so cute,

"Yes... I ask her all the time" I tell her with a smirk, Ana's eyes widen and she looks a little shocked,

"Why are you not married then?" Ana asks innocently as her brow furrows in confusion,

"She always turns me down" I reply with a chuckle, the feeling hurt by rejection long lost, after so many refusals. Ana smiles compassionately, then I see a glint of something in her eyes and her grip on my hand tightens,

"She might not turn you down tonight" she says with wide excited eyes,

"What?" I mumble my feet now stalling, Ana stops our dance by planting her feet,

"Go Jason" Ana urges, I scowl not really understanding, "Ask her now... She's dressed, she's happy, she even has flowers" Ana giggles no doubt recalling my embarrassment from earlier this evening. "She is high on wedding vibes... Now is the ideal time" Ana adds with conviction. I feel my brow unknot as her suggestion sinks in, "The're are chapels and jewelry shops everywhere... Pick up a ring and sweep her off her feet" Ana continues to urge,

"You think?" I exclaim with a chuckle,

"Why not?... She can only say no" Ana giggles, knowing I've heard 'No' so many times before, so what the fuck have I got to lose.

I lean in towards Ana then hesitate, but only for a second, Fuck Grey... He can fire my arse for this kiss if he must, but I'am gonna do it anyway. I kiss Ana's cheek swiftly, but I still feel the slight heat from her sudden flush as my lips touch her soft skin, "Thank you Ana" I declare as I step back, "Now if you will excuse me... I have something every important to do". I nod respectfully before turning and heading quickly away. I hear Ana's "Good luck Jason" as I stride purposefully away. As I head over to Gail, I douse down the sudden feeling of nervousness that washes over me. I smile as I reach Gail, thankfully Mia has left her and most of her tears are now dry in her wide and excited eyes,

"You happy baby?" I breathe into her neck as I take her urgently in my arms, her arms wrap my waist tightly, despite the large bouquet that she still holds in her hands,

"Oh yes Jason, today has been so wonderful... Their whole wedding has been so..." I kiss her gushing lips swiftly, hope swelling inside of me squashing down all of my nerves. Maybe Ana's right... Her wedding vibeometer has well peaked, so what the hell... What's the worse that can happen?.

I look down into her bright elated eyes and take her face in my palm, my thumb brushing away one undried mother hen tear, "You wanna get out of here for a bit?" I ask, I kiss her soft puffy lips once again, "I've missed you so much this past weekend baby" I tell her truthfully. Her eyes widen and I see her nod in confirmation, and her eyes light up because I know, she has missed me too. I notice out the corner of my eye, Ana is trying hard not to watch us, and hell, it's now or never.

"Let's go for a walk... Maybe we can watch some dancing fountains... Loose some quarters in the slots, maybe see a show or even... Get hitched" I end my ramble hopefully and I watch Gail's face as it freezes. Her eyes widen further and instantly tear up and nothing is gonna stop them from weeping, but I just hope to god... That these are happy fucking tears.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx C

After everyone has helped themselves to champagne and I have everyones attention, I stand and raise my glass in a toast.

"Firstly, I would like to thank you all for being here, and for celebrating this joyous occasion with my wife and I" I glance at Ana seated beside me and smile at her proud expression. "I would personally like to thank each and every one of you for your help, love and support, in getting me and my wife where we are today... And as a show of my appreciation I have a little something for each of you" Ana's brow rises as she shakes her head in amusement.

Right on cue, Kate gives me the vanilla A4 envelope that has been in safe keeping in her bag, "Thanks Kate" I say as kate smiles with a nod, "Firstly Mia, thank you for your meddling and interference and your reluctance to accept the word 'No'" laughter vibrates around the room as Mia stands, and accepts the small envelope that I'm offering her.

Mia opens the envelope a little dubiously, then squeals excitedly at the black unlimited Amex she now has in her hand. She rushes forwards and thanks me profusely before also hugging a bewildered Ana. As Mia rushes back to sit back down next to Ana's college friend, I turn my attention to my parents.

"For Mom and dad, who are forever calming, and see only the good in people... I would like to send you both on that world cruise that you have both wanted to take, but have never found the time for." Mom gasps as she clasps my Dads hand as Dad just chuckles, "It has all been arranged, in six weeks, you both have two months off from your respective positions, and you will set sail on your dream vacation" Mom suddenly rushes over to me and as I hand over her tickets, she pulls me into her arms with lots of tears and thankful mumbled words, Dad shakes my hand with a huge grin and pride in his eyes. As they step away I try to hide my embarrassment by continuing quickly.

"Now Taylor and Gail" I scan the room but come up empty, "Where are they?" I ask glancing at Ana,

"They had a previous engagement" Ana informs me mysteriously, "I will tell you later" she whispers at my bemused expression,

"Okay then, I also have a little something for your parents" I dig about in the envelope once again,

"Why? You've never met them" Ana exclaims loudly, I chuckle as I lovingly look down at her,

"I need to thank them Just for bringing you into the world baby" I tell her softly and I hear my Mom and Mia simultaneously "Arrgghh". Ana flushes then rolls her eyes, but I can tell my her eyes that my complement touched her.

"Well Stow your gift for now" Ana giggles "My Mom and Dad are still downstairs... Catching up" Ana states with a consprititual tone, I chuckle and hope for her sake, that her dreams of her parents getting back together come true.

"Well that just leaves Kate and Elliot" I state as I turn towards them, and they both look a little shocked, especially Kate. "I would like to thank you both... For being observant and insisting I drive Ana home on that first night, we would not be here now if it wasn't for you both... In more ways than one" I say pointedly to Kate, and she smiles at Ana and I appreciatively.

I hand Elliot a small box and he opens it slowly while glancing around at everyone, he pulls from the box, the keys to the brand new Ferrari that he always wanted. But suddenly his face falls, and I feel my brow furrow in concern,

"What?" I ask sounding desperate,

"I wanted a boat" he sulks and the room erupts with loud laughter,

I laugh along with everyone as Kate smacks him around the back of the head, while mumbling something about not being so ungrateful. He looks up at me sheepishly, then the reality of the gift sinks in, and his eyes light us.

"Cheers bro" He booms as he pulls me into a bear hug.

"Your very welcome Elliot" I say while patting him on the back.

As we step apart I turn towards Kate and her face creases in confusion, I pull out my keys from my pocket and pull one of the keys from the ring and hand it to her. Her hand takes the key dubiously and as she looks down her face splits into a mighty grin. As she grips my R8 key tightly in her hand she rushes forward and hugs me tightly.

"Oh thank you Christian this is amazing" then Kate turns to Ana "You told him" she whispers wide eyed, Ana shakes her head and reality dawn,

"Kate, when I drove you to the florist in that car, you nearly peed your pants you were so excited, I knew you loved it" Kate blushes as Ana and Elliot chuckle, "You deserve it Kate, after everything you have done for me, for us" I glance towards Ana and her face is beaming but her eyes are teary, "It's a small price to pay... Just look after it and enjoy it", Kate smiles her gratitude and heads back to Elliot.

I pick up my glass once again and turn to face everyone, "All of you mean so much to me... And have my forever gratitude... I love each and every one of you... So thank you". And as we all raise our glasses and drink, the realization of the words I've just spoken hit home, and I'm suddenly overwhelmed by the love that I feel in this room, the love that I feel in myself.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A

An hour or so later I'm curled up on Christians lap and as much as I love all of these people around me... I wish they would all go. But sadly, glancing around the room, I realized that will not be happening anytime soon. Everyone seems to be in full celebratory mode, and no one seems eager to stop.

Kate and Mia are dancing with Ell and Jose, now that the music has reached a more upbeat and booty shaking level. Carrick, Ethan and my Dad are all seated at the bar, knocking back whisky and playing cards. My Mom and Grace are chatting on the balcony, and as I lean into Christian's warm safe arms, I hear the longing in his sigh and I crave to kiss him,.

Kate suddenly steps away from Ell and catches my eye, she gestures for me to come over, I turn to Christian, "I will be back in a Sec, I just need a word with Kate" Christian reluctantly reales me from his grip, and I stand and head over to Kate who meets me halfway. She side steps towards the sofa, where her bag is resting and after digging about, she pulls something out and hands it to me,

"Go" she orders sternly, I look down and Kate has given me her room key, "Go" she repeats, "Make your escape, stay next door, No one will notice you're both gone, you two need to be alone now, so go enjoy your wedding night Mrs grey" Kate pulls me into a hug, and I feel my heart beat increase at the thought of escaping.

"Thank you Kate" I kiss her swiftly on the cheek as she smiles and I quickly head back to Christian. As I near him he stands abruptly, "What?" he asks,

"Shush, lets go" I whisper, "Before anyone notices" I pull a chuckling Christian quickly towards the door, and he grabs a bottle of Champagne from the cooler as we pass. I turn to glance at him as we reach the door and the fire and longing in his eyes, enfuels my need to drag him next door, where we can finally be alone.


End file.
